# schrodinger's rapist



## Fats Velvet (Nov 7, 2015)

I got off just before midnight. Sparks from the outbound train lit the street like it was day.

The streetlights were out for blocks ahead.

I started walking and heard clapping behind me. I am used to this, but my guard goes up; I cling to the strap of my backpack until my knucklebones show.

Lit by a bulb in a gangway a shadow merges with mine.

She passes, not fast enough; I am right behind her, walking just as quickly. She glances behind her. I stare at the ground and hope she won’t notice. She’s going as fast as she can move. So she crosses the street. My apartment is on that side.

I forget how to breathe. My body shakes like a leaf. My heart beats somewhere close to Mars. I am a 220 lb prey animal fighting to flee. I need to go home. I want to go home. And home is right there, on that side. I am scared. So I cross.

She starts running, and stumbles. Phone comes out in a fury. Her fingers do violence. The tone echoes from the pad. She speaks loudly. Some guy following her.

I make it to the door. Cold sweat and struggle to make my fingers work the key into the lock. That was close. This always happens. Next time I should be more careful.

No.  That would be blaming the victim.


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## escorial (Nov 8, 2015)

short and detailed...and i enjoyed it for that...


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## dither (Nov 8, 2015)

Brought back a memory Mr. Fats.

Many years ago,
as i walked across a totally unlit car-park in the black of night,
i sensed that somebody was behind me.
I felt my body tense up. My face suddenly felt numb. Goose bumps, those little curlies on the back of the neck, not to mention squeaky bum, y'know?
They kept their distance but they were there, all across the car-park, and then she caught me up as i ordered my first pint.

"Thought it was you."
She said. Smiling, seeming relieved to be there.
"Thought if i stayed close i'd be safe".
"You stupid bitch. Speak next time. You coulda got punched in the face. I might've bust you up pretty bad. Y'know? Speak f'chrise sakes".

Life eh?


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## -xXx- (Nov 8, 2015)

the beauty of living in the civilized nations, ay?

*clutches backpack*
*walks in the center of the street*
*with hand in pocket*


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## Fats Velvet (Nov 9, 2015)

escorial said:


> short and detailed...and i enjoyed it for that...



Thanks Esc.



dither said:


> Brought back a memory Mr. Fats.
> 
> Many years ago,
> as i walked across a totally unlit car-park in the black of night,
> ...



A different shade of irony from what I was going for, but yeah.  Life.



-xXx- said:


> the beauty of living in the civilized nations, ay?
> 
> *clutches backpack*
> *walks in the center of the street*
> *with hand in pocket*



Walking into oncoming traffic might be less nerve racking, yes.


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## Schrody (Nov 9, 2015)

:shock: Schrodinger's what?!


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## Fats Velvet (Nov 9, 2015)

Schrodinger's Rapist


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## Schrody (Nov 9, 2015)

Blasphemy!


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## Blade (Nov 9, 2015)

Schrody said:


> Blasphemy!



I was going to suggest 'Einstein's Rapist' until he posted his source.

I think if you pass someone on the side-walk going in the same direction you have to expect to be 'followed'.8-[ The author could also have slowed a little to allow the victim to 'escape'.:thumbl: It looks like a relativity issue to me so bringing Schrodinger into it was somewhat erroneous originally.:grey:

One little nit on the original. 



> Phone goes out in a fury



I think 'goes' should be 'comes'. 'Goes out' sounds like a technical crash, as in 'the lights go out'. 'Comes out' indicates appearance and fits with the following description.:thumbl:


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## Fats Velvet (Nov 9, 2015)

^
Good catch Blade.  Danke.


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## REIGNman (Nov 12, 2015)

Good quick moment in time! I can vaguely feel the pressure. Though would like to see more "showing" then "telling". 
The writing has the start for doing this. Still, in the end, a great start with great bones!


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## Fats Velvet (Nov 12, 2015)

Can you give me an example of how to modify a particular part to make it more "showy", REIGN?  For example:

_She passes, not fast enough; I am right behind her, walking just as quickly._


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