# Is there a way to avoid a starting my story with a coincidence?



## ironpony (Apr 22, 2020)

A few readers I showed my story to so far say the opening feels perhaps a little too coincidental, or too convenient.  It's difficult to change since it's the opening and all the other plot comes out of it.

It's a crime thriller and it starts out with the villains committing their latest crime, which things go wrong and lead to a chase.  The main character a cop, out on patrol, spots the chase, and takes off after them.   The villains get away, accept for one that is arrested, but let go for not enough evidence to tie him to anything.  But there is enough bread crumbs for the main character to follow at the scene, to build into the rest of the plot.

However, I am told this feels too much like a convenient coincidence because the villains have been going around committing their crimes for months, without leaving hardly any evidence behind, and now in the opening, the main character coincidentally, happens to be in the same place as them to start off the plot.

I was thinking maybe I could write so that maybe it opens right in the middle of the chase, so the audience does not think of it so much as a coincidence, cause it starts out right in the middle maybe?  The movie Lethal Weapon 2, does this for example.  Here's the opening I found:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sfNmggUpuBk

But will that work to not make it feel like a convenient coincidence if I open so that the main character is already onto them, without an explanation, like in that movie example?  Or will that just lead to more questions that the reader will want answered do you think?


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## Sir-KP (Apr 22, 2020)

There's always a start by coincidence.


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 22, 2020)

It's a story, it is meant to stand out from reality, everyday reality is boring. Stop worrying about a few know nothing, non writing, readers who feel obligated to make some sort of comment. Don't even show it to them. Get it all written and then look for one knowledgeable editor for some worthwhile advice.


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## Xander416 (Apr 22, 2020)

Yeah, I see nothing wrong with the premise of your opening. Cops patrol and sometimes they stumble on crimes in progress or their immediate aftermath. Absolutely nothing implausible about that. As Sir-KP said, everything starts by coincidence. Heck, life is just one big series of coincidences anyway, as this list can attest.


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## Kyle R (Apr 22, 2020)

ironpony said:


> It's a crime thriller and it starts out with the villains committing their latest crime, which things go wrong and lead to a chase.  *The main character a cop, out on patrol, spots the chase, and takes off after them.*   The villains get away, accept for one that is arrested, but let go for not enough evidence to tie him to anything.  But there is enough bread crumbs for the main character to follow at the scene, to build into the rest of the plot.
> 
> However, I am told this feels too much like a convenient coincidence because the villains have been going around committing their crimes for months, without leaving hardly any evidence behind, and now in the opening, the main character coincidentally, happens to be in the same place as them to start off the plot.



You can sell anything to the reader—you just need to make it feel real.

The cop going on patrol, in that area, at that time, has to feel real.

The chase breaking out, in that area, at that time, has to feel real.

These are two narrative strands that meet at a single point. As long as both strands feel like they're legitimately happening, then their collision will feel real, too. :encouragement:



			
				ironpony said:
			
		

> A few readers I showed my story to so far say ...
> However, I am told ...



I feel that you doubt and question your own creative choices too much, whenever a reader suggests something different. You need to find confidence in your story, to the point where reader suggestions don't faze you at all.


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## ironpony (Apr 22, 2020)

Oh okay thanks.  Well in the plot, a gang of villains want to recruit a new member, and in order to do that they give the new member a test. He has to kill someone to get in. They give him a bullet loaded with a dummy round, an round that will not fire, and have him pull the trigger in a kidnapped hostage.

So he doesn't have to kill the hostage, but show that he would. The hostage, however, is secretly one of them posing as a hostage. The reason why this is, is because if the new member is an undercover cop and there are other cops waiting to bust them, the police could not be able to use a kidnapped person as evidence, cause then there is no kidnapped person.

Now the new recruit fails to pull the trigger, and gets scared that they will now consider him a liability. He finds out that the gun is empty but he runs and a chase ensues. A cop who is on patrol, spots this, and calls for back up. The villains flee, but one of them is arrested. However, the police think they have stumbled upon a kidnapping, but the hostage, not being a real hostage, says no kidnapping happen, so the police are forced to let the suspect go, since no crime happened.

Do you think that maybe the problem is, is that it's too big of a coincidence with readers, the fact that the villains had plan in case the new recruit turns out to be an undercover cop, and then another cop comes into play, in which they are able to coincidentally substitute the same plan onto?  Is it too unlikely perhaps?


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## Xander416 (Apr 22, 2020)

ironpony said:


> Do you think that maybe the problem is, is that it's too big of a coincidence with readers, the fact that the villains had plan in case the new recruit turns out to be an undercover cop, and then another cop comes into play, in which they are able to coincidentally substitute the same plan onto?  Is it too unlikely perhaps?


You don't succeed in the world of organized crime by trusting people blindly, so I don't think it's too coincidental at all.


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## ironpony (Apr 22, 2020)

Oh okay thanks.  There are two ways I can write the scene though as far as  I can tell.  I can write it so that after the new recruit gets cold feet, he fears the gang will then harm him so he gets scared and runs, and then the main character cop notices the chase and goes after them.

Or I can write it so that the main character cop picks up on something suspicious long before a chase ensues, such as when the gang goes to meet the new recruit, they search him for a gun or a wire, and the cop sees this from far away while on patrol and then decides to discreetly follow them back to where the test will take place.  The main cop cannot be allowed to recognize the new recruit though, since the new recruit is a cop he knows, but a crooked cop.  But I don't want the MC to know it's him.  So he would have to see the weapon and wire search from far away, but not see that it's him.

But which way to write it is better?  So the MC sees the search of the weapon and wire beforehand and gets suspicious, or wait till the chase breaks out and have him notice that, and take chase in that?


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 22, 2020)

That should be your decision because you will probably write it better if it is something you have decided on.


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## ironpony (Apr 22, 2020)

Well after thinking about it more, I want to be able to do it like how the movies do it and just start right in the middle of a chase, but do you do that and still have it make sense though?  How do you skip half a scenario but the scenario still makes sense to everyone?


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 23, 2020)

Use dialogue to set scene.
Camera cuts from chase to inside car. Patrol man picks up mike from dash.

"Patrol to base, am in a pursuit situation, Tried to pull over station wagon for suspicious behaviour and he fled, now turning out of Main into East 17"


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## ironpony (Apr 23, 2020)

Oh okay, but I didn't think that suspicious activity would be enough of an explanation though.  The cop would have to explain all this



> Well in the plot, a gang of villains want to recruit a new member, and in order to do that they give the new member a test. He has to kill someone to get in. They give him a bullet loaded with a dummy round, an round that will not fire, and have him pull the trigger in a kidnapped hostage.
> 
> So he doesn't have to kill the hostage, but show that he would.  Now the new recruit fails to pull the trigger, and gets scared that they will now consider him a liability. He finds out that the gun is empty but he runs and a chase ensues.



So can a cop explain all that during a chase, without the reader asking questions about it?


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## Xander416 (Apr 23, 2020)

ironpony said:


> So can a cop explain all that during a chase, without the reader asking questions about it?


There doesn't tend to be a lot of in-depth conversation during police chases. Any communication usually centers around "How do we stop this guy?" rather than "Why are we chasing this guy?" You'd have to explain it all in flashbacks or interviews later, which only really works if the event is shrouded in mystery and there are multiple conflicting accounts. Moreover, in this case, the recruitment test would need to _be_ the plot (like an episode of Law & Order), whereas I get the impression it's what _kicks off_ the plot. So, for that reason, I think you should start with the actual event that kicks off the chase instead of picking up during said chase. It's what I'd do. And I'd only start in the middle of the chase if it was simply a framing device to introduce my characters and wasn't connected to the plot.


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## ironpony (Apr 23, 2020)

Oh okay thanks, but when I started off with the events that kick start off the chase before, readers told me that it this whole gang test thing was too much information packed on too fast for an opening, and I should just skip ahead to the chase and start there though, or at least that's what they thought.


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## Mutimir (Apr 23, 2020)

If the problem is you have a coincidence that your robbers are pulling a crime right where a police office is patrolling you just need to make this not a coincidence. What did Lethal Weapon 2 have? Two cops. So have the cop on patrol have a partner. 

Main Cop 1: What the hell are we doing out here anyway? Nothing ever happens down here.
Main Cop 2: I've got a hunch.
Main Cop 1: Hunch? You got to be kidding me. 
Main Cop 2: What? You never get hunches?
Main Cop 1: In my 30 years hunches only lead to dead ends.

_Cue man running from building with mask and holding sack of diamonds.
_


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 23, 2020)

Who are these people who rule your writing life. The must be super well qualified to hold such sway over you if you have any faith in your own ability.


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## ironpony (Apr 23, 2020)

Oh just anyone I can get to read it.  I just want to take in honest criticism to make it better and more understandable, of course.



Mutimir said:


> If the problem is you have a coincidence that your robbers are pulling a crime right where a police office is patrolling you just need to make this not a coincidence. What did Lethal Weapon 2 have? Two cops. So have the cop on patrol have a partner.
> 
> Main Cop 1: What the hell are we doing out here anyway? Nothing ever happens down here.
> Main Cop 2: I've got a hunch.
> ...



Well I could do that but how does a person have a hunch that a group of criminals recruiting more people would take place in that exact place or area...  might work.


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## Sir-KP (Apr 23, 2020)

ironpony said:


> Well I could do that but how does a person have a hunch that a group of criminals recruiting more people would take place in that exact place or area...  might work.



It's still yours to answer. If you can't, just keep it in the shadow.

There's a recruitment scene in Sicario 2 that is like what you want. A Cartel gang circling up for initiation of two teenagers to kill the captured people.

What's there in the scene? Cars, crowds, bright headlights from the cars, and obviously loud gunshots.

Try to use that example to trigger the chase scene.


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## ironpony (Apr 23, 2020)

Oh okay, I see... I guess it's a matter of what's worse in a story.  A coincidence, or a hunch that turns out to be right?  What feels more convenient?  I would have thought that a hunch was worse than a coincidence, but maybe I'm wrong?


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## Kyle R (Apr 23, 2020)

ironpony said:


> Oh just anyone I can get to read it.  I just want to take in honest criticism to make it better and more understandable, of course.



It's good to want to improve, and to be open to criticism.

It's counterproductive, though, to _continually_ seek feedback on a single story.

Feedback should be a _single step_ in the writing process. It should not be a recurring step.

You should write the story. Get feedback (from trusted readers). Make any changes that you feel are needed. Then, move forward toward publication (or filming).

Chronological steps. This is how productive, successful writers work.

And sure, I struggle with perfectionism a lot, too. I obsess over things. I get caught in cognitive loops, where I keep wanting to explore the same story from a thousand different angles.

But my wife has, wisely, advised me that at some point, a writer is just "writing sideways". Meaning: they aren't improving the story—they're just writing alternate versions of it.

Try not to fall into that trap.

Write the story that _you_ want to write; the one that excites you. Polish it and make it shine. Then, move ahead with the production process—no additional feedback needed. :encouragement:


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## ironpony (Apr 23, 2020)

Oh okay thanks.  It's just that before, I when I asked if I had a bad attitude by telling readers that sections of the script were already considered done, I was told it was a bad attitude, because if the reader says something should be changed, then I should listen rather than say, that section was already given a stamp of approval by other readers.  If that's a bad attitude?


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## Kyle R (Apr 23, 2020)

ironpony said:


> It's just that before, I when I asked ... I was told ...



As a writer, you're going to be told a _lot_ of things, by _countless_ people. And most of the time, the things people tell you will directly conflict with one another.

If you go around listening to what everyone has to say, and if you give every bit of input equal consideration, you're simply going to overwhelm yourself, while simultaneously grinding your creative momentum to a halt. :cower:

It's up to you to decide which advice is worth paying attention to, and which suggestions are better off ignoring. Consider it a skill, even—one that's important to hone.


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## ironpony (Apr 24, 2020)

Yeah that's true, good points, thanks.  Since I seem to be having trouble I think I will just take this advice and start off with the plot event, rather than the chase that follows from it.



Xander416 said:


> There doesn't tend to be a lot of in-depth conversation during police chases. Any communication usually centers around "How do we stop this guy?" rather than "Why are we chasing this guy?" You'd have to explain it all in flashbacks or interviews later, which only really works if the event is shrouded in mystery and there are multiple conflicting accounts. Moreover, in this case, the recruitment test would need to _be_ the plot (like an episode of Law & Order), whereas I get the impression it's what _kicks off_ the plot. So, for that reason, I think you should start with the actual event that kicks off the chase instead of picking up during said chase. It's what I'd do. And I'd only start in the middle of the chase if it was simply a framing device to introduce my characters and wasn't connected to the plot.


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## Kyle R (Apr 24, 2020)

I applaud your decisiveness there. Keep it up! :encouragement:


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 24, 2020)

So 'Just anyone' Knows better than you? People who probably have never written anything creative since leaving school? I don't want to be insulting, but that just seems plain daft. If you want advice on script writing go read 'Save the cat', or some other thing by an accredited person who has actually written lots of well received scripts. 

The man in the street always has an opinion, it's usually shit. You only have to watch the vox pops on any news programme to see that, and they are selecting the better ones to broadcast. Don't listen to 'Just anyone', seek out some decent advice and apply it using your own, unique , creative abilities, then show the result to people in the industry. If 'Just anyone' wants to see it they can pay at the cinema


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## ironpony (Apr 24, 2020)

Oh okay, well I just wanted to get as many opinions as I could whether it's writers, or people who like movies, and see what they think of a script.  So I thought it was best to get advice from anyone willing to read, but maybe I should only from other writers then?

And yes I've read Save the Cat.  But of course I still want to see if my own story is good on it's own too.


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## Mutimir (Apr 24, 2020)

ironpony said:


> Oh okay, I see... I guess it's a matter of what's worse in a story.  A coincidence, or a hunch that turns out to be right?  What feels more convenient?  I would have thought that a hunch was worse than a coincidence, but maybe I'm wrong?



That was just an idea I came up with. I actually wouldn't mind it just being coincidence. I just wanted to show that you don't have to change your idea because I think it is believable and you could use dialogue to make it more believable. There have been hundreds of times that criminals got caught just purely by coincidence. I saw a video recently online of a guy trying to rob a Taco Bell or something and it turned out there were 2 off duty cops eating at the restaurant!


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## ironpony (Apr 24, 2020)

Mutimir said:


> That was just an idea I came up with. I actually wouldn't mind it just being coincidence. I just wanted to show that you don't have to change your idea because I think it is believable and you could use dialogue to make it more believable. There have been hundreds of times that criminals got caught just purely by coincidence. I saw a video recently online of a guy trying to rob a Taco Bell or something and it turned out there were 2 off duty cops eating at the restaurant!



Oh okay thanks, I will check out that video!  Well if I just go by the coincidence idea, I feel there are two ways I can write this scenario.

In the plot, a gang of villains want to recruit a new member, and in order to do that they give the new member a test. He has to kill someone to get in. They give him a bullet loaded with a dummy round, an round that will not fire, and have him pull the trigger in a kidnapped hostage.


Now the new recruit fails to pull the trigger, and gets scared that they will now consider him a liability. He finds out that the gun is empty but he runs and a chase ensues. A cop, the main character who is on patrol, spots this, and calls for back up. 


Or I can write it so that the main character cop picks up on something suspicious long before a chase ensues, such as when the gang goes to meet the new recruit, they search him for a gun or a wire, and the cop sees this from far away while on patrol and then decides to discreetly follow them back to where the test will take place. 


The main cop cannot be allowed to recognize the new recruit though, since the new recruit is a cop he knows, but a crooked cop. But I don't want the MC to know it's him. So he would have to see the weapon and wire search from far away, but not see that it's him.


Does one way of writing it sound better than the other?


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## Xander416 (Apr 25, 2020)

Mutimir said:


> There have been hundreds of times that criminals got caught just purely by coincidence. I saw a video recently online of a guy trying to rob a Taco Bell or something and it turned out there were 2 off duty cops eating at the restaurant!


I'll do you one better: two guys in France tried to rob a McDonald's where eleven French Special Forces operators just happened to be eating!


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## ironpony (Apr 25, 2020)

Oh okay!  I just thought mine felt like a convenience because the police have been after the villains for months but couldn't come up with anything, and then one of them ends up in the same place and time as them, so it felt like a coincidence because he got a break in the case.

Where as the special forces operators weren't after the robbers for months, so it doesn't feel like a convenient break in comparison?


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 26, 2020)

I am just starting a book called 'A simple act of Violence', and the detective is looking for a serial killer, looking through all the separate cases for 'That little bit of coincidence that is what always starts you on the track to a solution'. A coincidence of some sort is the norm in fiction, not the exception like it is in the real world.


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## Kyle R (Apr 26, 2020)

ironpony said:


> Oh okay, well I just wanted to get as many opinions as I could ...



I consider that a bad idea, especially if you want to be a successful, productive writer.

Think about it: "as many opinions" as you can? That could be dozens, hundreds, or possibly even _thousands_ of opinions. Where does one stop? :grief:

What I recommend is seeking _one_ opinion, from a reader whose taste and ideas you trust. Then use their feedback to hone your story. No other opinions needed.

Doing this will avoid the loop that you seem caught in, where you're perpetually seeking input from others.

Stephen King says he only writes for one reader: his wife. And that approach has brought him millions of fans. Worth thinking about. :encouragement:


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## indianroads (Apr 26, 2020)

Not always, but often stories start out with some sort of 'tipping' event that pushes your MC(s) down the rabbit hole of the story. Some tipping events are gentle, others abrupt, it depends on how you (the author) wants to handle it.

A coincidence could be your event - and that's fine.


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## ironpony (Apr 27, 2020)

Kyle R said:


> I consider that a bad idea, especially if you want to be a successful, productive writer.
> 
> Think about it: "as many opinions" as you can? That could be dozens, hundreds, or possibly even _thousands_ of opinions. Where does one stop? :grief:
> 
> ...



Oh okay thanks.  Well my friends or my gf, aren't very good at giving me advice I don't think.  They just say they didn't pick up on any problems, and they just watch movies to be entertained and don't think about them hard, where as strangers, give me much more of a specific and detailed critique.  Isn't that better, or no?


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## Kyle R (Apr 28, 2020)

It doesn't have to be friend or loved one—it just needs to be someone whose feedback you trust.

The point is to restrict the feedback to as few sources as possible. Ideally: one source.

So far, you've been doing the opposite approach—you've been trying to get opinions from as many people as possible.

That (in my opinion) is counterproductive, especially when you already have a tendency to overthink and to worry. The more people you involve in the feedback process, the more conflicting ideas you're going to get, and the more chaotic the creative process is going to become.

Instead, you should be thinking: streamline.

Definition: _make (an organization or system) more efficient and effective by employing faster or simpler working methods.
_
That's what you need to do: simplify the process. Restrict the feedback to as few sources as possible. Become more efficient and effective as a writer. :encouragement:


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## ironpony (Apr 28, 2020)

Okay thanks.  A lot of the times I find the advice to be contradictory, like they will tell me of a plot hole, and say what would happen instead, but then what they say would happen, would just lead to more holes for example.  So this is what causes me to get other feedback to try to figure out the problems and solutions therefore, if that makes sense.


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## Kyle R (Apr 28, 2020)

ironpony said:


> Okay thanks.  A lot of the times I find the advice to be contradictory, like they will tell me of a plot hole, and say what would happen instead, but then what they say would happen, would just lead to more holes for example.  So this is what causes me to get other feedback to try to figure out the problems and solutions therefore, if that makes sense.



I find that "writing by committee" rarely works well.

If you feel that you _must_ get feedback from various sources, so be it. But don't expect those sources to solve creative problems for you. More likely, you'll just find _new_ creative problems, with each additional source of input.

At this point, it sounds like you're hoping for readers to do the thinking for you. "Here are my creative problems! Can you give me some answers on how to fix them?"

That's fine to ask here and there, but it shouldn't be a common occurrence.

When I get stumped in my writing, I just sit there, think it out, and keep at it until I find a solution. No asking others necessary.

You might want to give it a try. If you keep asking others for help, it'll weaken your own ability to find solutions on your own. :grief:

Just a suggestion! :encouragement:


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## ironpony (Apr 28, 2020)

Oh I don't actually ask them what the solution is they often just tell me, but then I might find holes in it that I can't seem to fill.  I will offer solutions of my own, but they don't work for various reasons, so maybe that is why they tell me what they think will work after.

A lot of times I will also offer different scenarios of my own and ask them which one is best, but then later find that it's not working, but they said it was the best, so I figure their must be something in my ideas that I am missing.


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## Kyle R (Apr 29, 2020)

ironpony said:


> Oh I don't actually ask them what the solution is they often just tell me ...
> 
> ... I will offer solutions of my own, but they ... tell me what they think will work after.
> 
> ... I will also offer different scenarios of my own and ask them which one is best ...



Look at the language you're using here.

"They tell me ..."

"I ask them ..."

"I offer ... but they tell me ..."

Are they the writers here? Or are you?

Is it their story ... or yours? :-k


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## ironpony (Apr 29, 2020)

Yeah that's true.  So if it's not good to get a lot of other opinions, how do you know if your story makes sense then with just one reader's opinion?


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## Theglasshouse (Apr 29, 2020)

Pick a reader that you trust is a likely candidate to seeing this movie, given the demographics, age, gender, background and so on. Don't show the movie script to family as they only say positive things. That is why you can't trust them (my little brother is guilty of this). I'd rather trust someone who has seen movies and maybe doesn't write them. It's the audience you convince and not writers, so our opinion isn't as valuable. Be selective on whom this audience is. Maybe find them in good reads, and you can make friends with them there. So if we talk about a female reader, it's the reception that matters of any person who has no interests in saying positive things and not what one critic will say.

If possible make a questionnaire after they read. Plot holes are something a reader will mostly need to catch on and not a writer. Because a writer is usually more critical than the rest. Even a person who reviews movies regularly could be a good candidate. Make a contact list and message these people. Don't say it's your manuscript, that it belongs to someone else. (to make the reader feedback more impartial even more still) Don't tell them it has plot holes, supposition is something that will make the feedback seem biased. Don't make a list of questions on insecurities imo because they could change their final opinion.

At this point in time maybe the film industry shouldn't read your script imo, because they are less trustworthy. This includes family and friends, and people who know you.

That's my honest advice.


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## ironpony (Apr 30, 2020)

Oh okay, thank you very much.  That is good advice, thanks.  And thanks to everyone else for the advice as well.

I find myself juggling different ideas I have come up with based on reader's advice and applying the changes.  But in the end, I find myself going back to the original ideas, cause the original ideas just seem to hold together better, compared to trying the new ones.  Is this normal among other writers?

Also I think one of the problem is, and this is just a guess, that so far I think readers have been offended at the subject matter of the story, so because of that offense, they tend to pick things apart more that normally wouldn't be picked apart as much.  Could this very well be the case, or am I just being defensive, in saying that?


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## Theglasshouse (Apr 30, 2020)

I don't know the answer to be honest too both questions. I am giving you my experience with using my family as an example. Anyways they are questions that are open ended which leads to critical thinking much like in school.

Some people say to rewrite means you'll be published one day. Many writers spread the advice of rewriting. But I like rewriting. Some say rewriting makes things worse. It varies with the person as much as style and voice I think.

If you can rewrite in my experience it leads to new inspiration, new ideas, new ways to improve your story. I often think of this popular opinion. As long as you get feedback there is no harm in rewriting a script.

Where the feedback is from is the problem. They say that the writer of Tootsie rewrote it over 50 times. Hemingway rewrote his stories as did Nabokov.

The other one is, imo in my honest belief that you must tone it down. But that is just my opinion. If 3 people say the same thing and then a fourth one, then it's a solid confirmation for me that something needs to be done.

I would say offending can turn off people. I would care a lot about that opinion especially since you are investing a lot of time and money or Hollywood will.


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## ironpony (May 1, 2020)

Oh okay thanks.  Well there's always going to be some readers or audiences who are offended though, and you cannot write something for everyone, can you?


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## ironpony (Aug 5, 2021)

I keep hearing about how it's okay to have a coincidence in the story, as long as it's in the beginning, but I am wondering if there is such thing as too big?
In the beginning the villains, who are a gang, want to recruit a new member in.  They set up a scenario where the new member has to complete a test and commit a crime against a victim.  However, the victim is actually a member of the gang, and is just pretending to be a victim, and it's all staged.

The reason why the gang is doing it this way, is because if the new recruit happens to be an undercover cop, looking to make a bust, with back up ready just in case, then the gang can deny that any crime happened, since the victim is fake and will not testify to any victimization.

The new recruit is not an undercover cop, though, it's just a precaution.  However, during this recruitment test, the protagonist, a cop, is out and about and happens to spot this new test in progress and busts it himself.

The gang however is able to substitute their plan onto this cop, because the victim is not real of course, so the cop cannot find a crime to bust them with therefore.

I am wondering, is it too much of a coincidence though, that the gang had a plan in case the new recruit was an undercover cop, which he wasn't, but a real cop happens to be close by and busts it, even so?

What do you think?  Thank you for any input on it!   I really appreciate it!


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## bazz cargo (Aug 8, 2021)

ironpony said:


> A few readers I showed my story to so far say the opening feels perhaps a little too coincidental, or too convenient.  It's difficult to change since it's the opening and all the other plot comes out of it.
> 
> It's a crime thriller and it starts out with the villains committing their latest crime, which things go wrong and lead to a chase.  The main character a cop, out on patrol, spots the chase, and takes off after them.   The villains get away, accept for one that is arrested, but let go for not enough evidence to tie him to anything.  But there is enough bread crumbs for the main character to follow at the scene, to build into the rest of the plot.
> 
> ...


Coincidences happen all the time.


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## Kent_Jacobs (Aug 8, 2021)

edit: thought it was a new thread.


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## apocalypsegal (Aug 17, 2021)

And here you are, more than a year later, asking for still more opinions after you've been told to cut down on seeking opinions. Exactly the same issue, too.


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## Kent_Jacobs (Aug 17, 2021)

Every time you find yourself asking 'is it alright to ...?', the right answer is always going to be 'you can do what you like'. That's the only feedback you're ever going to get. And every time you ask the question 'is it alright to ...?' you are pulling a tombstone over your creativity and freedom to think.

Stop asking for permission to write. Just write the damn thing.


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