# The End...?



## am_hammy (Sep 6, 2015)

Lost, lonely, tattered and worn.
Grinding teeth, mind filled with scorn.
Denial and hatred, burns in my bones.
Deep wounds, oozing scars, painful groans
Dying body, my mind screams,
Silently weeping salty streams.
Agony, shattering, I see him, there is Death,
But he will not come take my last breath.

Where is my release from this wretched place?
Steal away my existence without a trace!

Warmth fills me and I hear a voice
Weeping again, tears flowing with no choice.

Blinding light, a hospital room,
The sweet face of my mother in full zoom
Saying, "My darling girl, there you are,
I promised I wouldn't stray far.
My darling, it is so lovely to see,
Your big brown eyes blinking at me."

My mind will no longer aimlessly roam.
Oh please, Mom, please let's go home.
I feel my mother's gentle hug, a tender touch
I hear her whisper to me, "I love you so much"

I was never alone, tears fall.
Before I walk, I must crawl.
She has always been here,
And I know I don't have to fear.

I forgive Death for not sweeping me away
There is life to live, another day.
I will hold this moment tight and fast
And live every second as if it were my last.


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 7, 2015)

Ah, the ups and downs of a lonely mind/injured soul. It can make you think and feel the most extreme things, and you capture both ends of the spectrum -- the searing despair, and the hope that can poke through the muck when you're sure there is none.

I always like how your poetry can feel honest. You don't hide behind fancy wording like some feel inclined to do, it's just raw. It gives your pieces a refreshing innocence.

Thanks for the read, moomin.


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## midnightpoet (Sep 7, 2015)

I liked this poem, and it reminds me of how I view poems; I try to make the assumption (always dangerous) that the poem is not necessarily personal.  Separating the poem from the poet is hard, but a lot of my own poems are just ideas and not some great trauma I'm experiencing.  Regardless, the emotion here is real.


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## Sonata (Sep 7, 2015)

A great poem - the last two stanzas being especially poignant.


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## Arthur G. Mustard (Sep 7, 2015)

A fantastic poem, rhyming and flow spot on. Plenty of emotion.


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## am_hammy (Sep 7, 2015)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Ah, the ups and downs of a lonely mind/injured soul. It can make you think and feel the most extreme things, and you capture both ends of the spectrum -- the searing despair, and the hope that can poke through the muck when you're sure there is none.
> 
> I always like how your poetry can feel honest. You don't hide behind fancy wording like some feel inclined to do, it's just raw. It gives your pieces a refreshing innocence.
> 
> Thanks for the read, moomin.



Thanks for reading bear =) I always like to try and keep it a little more simple (even modern maybe?) but still try to be deep.  Poetry has been a huge thing for me for a decent chunk of my life that always allowed me to be honest and I never had to worry about anyone or anything question me. The pen and paper say nothing, they just help me write and store what I want to get out. Whether it personally pertains to me, or in this case, a smidge figurative but more just a thought I had and this is what came out. I  also get nervous using fancy words for fear I use them incorrectly =p I'm glad you liked it. I was hoping for the extreme pull as well. I'm glad to see that it worked.



midnightpoet said:


> I liked this poem, and it reminds me of how I view poems; I try to make the assumption (always dangerous) that the poem is not necessarily personal.  Separating the poem from the poet is hard, but a lot of my own poems are just ideas and not some great trauma I'm experiencing.  Regardless, the emotion here is real.



Sometimes my poems are about me, more my emotions I've felt at a certain time and sometimes the physical experience. This situation didn't physically happen to me though. I originally wrote the first stanza as a stand-alone. After going through it, I felt inclined to write a happy side to the piece, and that particular scenario came out.

Would I say this can be a figurative representation of my own mother and myself? Perhaps. However, that connection would run very deep in between the lines, but there is a loose figurative connection with this girl in the poem and myself. There have been times in my life where I feel that kind of thing when I deal with my anxiety and depression. Not as heavy, but poetry is nice that way because I can have a heavy concentration of a subject and pour it all out in a maximum moment I had. I'm glad you liked it, and I appreciate the read. I also appreciate you just taking the poem as more of an idea rather than a personal experience. It actually felt nice to not be so attached to it sometimes. It's something I'm trying to aim for, being able to write poetry without necessarily being in a moment of personal experience or emotion. =)
 =)


Sonata said:


> A great poem - the last two stanzas being especially poignant.



Thank you for the read Sonata. I'm glad you found it to be poignant. ^_^



Arthur G. Mustard said:


> A fantastic poem, rhyming and flow spot on. Plenty of emotion.



Thanks for reading Arthur. I like when I see the word fantastic. Plenty of emotion is what I was gearing for as well! Glad you liked it ^_^


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## Nellie (Sep 7, 2015)

Hammy,
Unlike midnight poet, my poems come from deep within me and are very real to me. This poem reminds me of what I was feeling just a year ago while my father was in his final days. The emotions were so raw, like you display, the uncertainty of this life, but yet we knew the end was very near. Well done.


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## midnightpoet (Sep 7, 2015)

Some of my poems are personal, some aren't.  My point was not to automatically assume that a poem is personal.  I'll admit being objective is hard, as poems often come from the heart.


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## jenthepen (Sep 7, 2015)

It takes artistry to connect to deep emotion, control the flow and demonstrate a meaning and resolution. Here, you have accomplished all that and produced a poem that will resonate with many minds on several levels. Well done, hammy, this is a powerful piece.

jen


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## am_hammy (Sep 7, 2015)

Nellie said:


> Hammy,
> Unlike midnight poet, my poems come from deep within me and are very real to me. This poem reminds me of what I was feeling just a year ago while my father was in his final days. The emotions were so raw, like you display, the uncertainty of this life, but yet we knew the end was very near. Well done.



Nellie, first I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad, in a way, I was able to capture an emotion like that, even though I have experienced the death of loved ones, it was nothing as close as that. Thank you for the read



midnightpoet said:


> Some of my poems are personal, some aren't.  My point was not to automatically assume that a poem is personal.  I'll admit being objective is hard, as poems often come from the heart.



And that not assumption is greatly appreciated. This definitely came from my heart, just from a different part of my heart this time around. More for the ones who experience something like this, or maybe even something that I might experience one day. Ooooo, see, this is what I love about the perspective of others and how they read poetry. I'm learning new ideas, concepts and emotions. It's appreciated Midnight, truly ^_^



jenthepen said:


> It takes artistry to connect to deep emotion, control the flow and demonstrate a meaning and resolution. Here, you have accomplished all that and produced a poem that will resonate with many minds on several levels. Well done, hammy, this is a powerful piece.
> 
> jen



Jen, your words mean a lot to me. As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been trying to write stuff that is deep and emotional without always putting so much of myself into it. I'm glad it will connect with so many people on so many levels. At the base, it's one of the things I want when I write is for many people to gain something from it. I like both, but I'm sharpening my craft. Thank you for the read =)


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## inkwellness (Sep 7, 2015)

> Denial and hatred, burns in my bones


Oh yes!  Favorite line. Nice way of concretely expressing deep anger. The only constructive criticism I can add is the line about walking before you crawl. A cliché, I believe. Just my thoughts. Otherwise,  a worthy poem. Thanks for pouring your heart into it. When it's played by heart, it reaches the heart.


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## am_hammy (Sep 7, 2015)

inkwellness said:


> Oh yes!  Favorite line. Nice way of concretely expressing deep anger. The only constructive criticism I can add is the line about walking before you crawl. A cliché, I believe. Just my thoughts. Otherwise,  a worthy poem. Thanks for pouring your heart into it. When it's played by heart, it reaches the heart.



Thank you very much for the read!

Yes, I agree with you on that crawling line. I thought my ending was a smidge weak and was struggling to pop a line in there as a way of the narrator to reach a sort of revelation. I will have to mull it over and see what I can come up that can convey the same thing. Thank you for pointing that out to me! ^_^


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## inkwellness (Sep 7, 2015)

You are so welcome. I love your writing style. It reminds me of my way of thinking. It's nice to see that. :semi-twins:


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## am_hammy (Sep 7, 2015)

inkwellness said:


> You are so welcome. I love your writing style. It reminds me of my way of thinking. It's nice to see that. :semi-twins:




That's exactly how it is for me. A draining of my thoughts. Poetry helps me condense them and have them make some sense. Glad you like it! :thumbl:


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## Firemajic (Sep 8, 2015)

hammmmy, this poem is everything I love about your style of expressing your emotions...honest, unpretentious and raw... you write with an innocent voice but your style is that of a mature poet... fabulous message... write on hammy... peace..


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## escorial (Sep 11, 2015)

The End..?....one would like to read more pieces like this...i do like pain and anguish and you capture it all so well...enjoyed


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