# 01/16/09 - "The Author" Scores



## Hawke (Feb 7, 2009)

I'd like to extend a huge thank you to *Katastrof*, *Raging Hopeful* and *Tiamat10* for judging this round. Also, a huge thank you to Foxee and eggo for their help with the prompt and to everyone who submitted. Definitely quality over quantity, I’d say. Well done!

And now, your LM scores.








C. Gholy - 12, 13.5, 14, 14 = 53.5 - Average - 13.375
Katastrof - N/A
Raging Hopeful - N/A
Tiamat10 - N/A
Velo - 16, 17, 18, 17 = 68 - Average - 17
Joseph - 18, 18, 19, 19 = 74 - Average - 18.5
eggo - 17, 18.5, 17, 18 = 70.5 - 17.625



Because of the amount of eligible entries, only one placing will be announced. 

*First place:  JosephB !*


Congratulations! 


Note: Please let me know asap if there are any errors or omissions. Thank you.
~Hawke


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## Hawke (Feb 7, 2009)

_*Tiamat10's Scores *_


Peggy and Her Puppy Named Wuppy

C.Gholy

This doesn't rhyme very much. While I haven't been a Dr. Seuss expert since I was about 8, I'm pretty sure that's one of his most defining features as an author. I was also a bit thrown by the line, 'She too young for that'. I think it's probably a typo, but still. I believe it should read 'She's.

14/20

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No Green Eggs or Ham

Katastrof

This is kind of like 'Dr. Seuss, the Untold Tales'. It's dark and sad and I couldn't help but like it. Too bad I can't give you a score, mate.

N/A

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Untitled

Raging Hopeful

Cute and funny.  The end got a chuckle out of me.

N/A

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Funny Bunny

Tiamat10

First of all, you're a rude little brat who insulted everyone in your petty little 'Author's Note'. Secondly, don't you KNOW that celery is bad for bunnies?! I oughta get the ASPCA after your ass. And don't even get me started on your lame Dr. Seuss attempt. Loser.

N/A

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Untitled

Velo

I really liked this. Sure it was a little bit repetitive, but I got caught up in the rhyme and rhythm of it, and I liked the questions that it asked as well. Very clever interpretation of the theme, but I also thought it started to lose it's momentum towards the end.

18/20

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The Flumax

JosephB

Dr. Seuss for adults, I love it! This was funny and clever and best of all, it actually tells a story. The clear winner in my opinion, but I'm gonna take one point off for a typo. 'Before you eat us, have drink!' I think that's supposed to say 'have A drink'.

19/20

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Killing Time

eggo

I thought this was a unique interpretation of Dr. Seuss's style. It doesn't have the rhythm, but it does tell a story and it does mostly rhyme. And it's got wit, too. I enjoyed it quite a bit, but I did find a typo. 'Well, Mr. Martin, I fresh out of ideas.' I think it's supposed to say 'I'm'.

17/20


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## Hawke (Feb 7, 2009)

_*Raging Hopeful's Scores*_


*C. Gholy*
It was difficult to follow the rhyming schematic and it didn’t stay consistent which was distracting from what was actually happening in the poem. There were also some basic nits like:
“*She too* young for that”
Grammar: 4/5
Tone & Voice: 2/5
Effect: 6/10
_Total: 12/20_

*Katastrof*
Interesting choice of poetic prose. I quite liked it. I’m assuming Great Depression? Or maybe even the food banks today? Cheers! 
JUDGE PARTICIPATION

*Tiamat*
This was quite excellent! A modern take on “Green Eggs and Ham” perhaps! I love that you made up your own word “yamglumbers.” Dr. Seuss would be proud :grin:
JUDGE PARTICIPATION

*Qwertyman*
Submission what?

*Seigfried*
Now who is this Dominatrix hmmm??

*Velo*
This actually had a very floaty but cohesive rhyming structure to it but I found myself getting confused halfway through as to whether we were on “me” or “we.” I quite enjoyed it myself.
Grammar: 5/5
Tone & Voice: 4/5
Effect: 7/10
_Total: 16/20_

*Joseph*
This was excellent but very depressing by the end! Which of course means it’s well done and “a little dose of truth.” Small nit I found: *“**have drink!”*
Grammar: 4/5
Tone & Voice: 5/5
Effect: 9/10
_Total: 18/20_

*Eggo*
This made me laugh quite a bit especially at the end as the truth is revealed. Makes me happy to think he’ll never actually go through with it. Even better if Mr. Barton turned out to be just a stuffed animal that Mr. Martin plots with every week. Interesting rhyming schematic. Some nits:
*I fresh out of ideas.”*
*“That true,*
Grammar: 3/5
Tone & Voice: 5/5
Effect: 9/10
_Total: 17/20_


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## Hawke (Feb 7, 2009)

_*Katastrof's Scores*_


This has been one hell of a prompt. First, not a lot of people posted, and then my computer busted while I was judging. Oh well. It was fun looking at how even a narrow topic, like Dr. Suess, can bring out so many diverse pieces. Here they are:


*Peggy and her puppy named Wuppy  ~ *_C.Gholy _*:13.5*
This was a hard prompt. I can understand the lack of rhyming, but I was a little put off that it didn't follow a consistent pattern because it was good when you got it right. Puppy Wuppy did seem very Suess-esk to me, so that was good. Watch out:


  If I compared my dog to a top model, 
that model shall surely struggle.  


 Should be: *that model would surely struggle*


*No Green Eggs or Ham ~ *_Katastrof_*: -!*


  I will not write poetry because I'm no poet,
  I will not write poetry because I fully know it.
  I will not write it in a jest,
  I will not write it puffing my chest.
  Because both results,
  Are still awkward.  


*Ferret One  ~ *_Raging_Hopeful_ *: -!*


  Nice rhyming, and I liked that you took a shot at the cat in the hat. Ha! Flowed real well for a poem (I think).


*Funny Bunny* *~ *_Tiamat10_ : *-!*


  Wow all three judges in a row! Liked this one a lot. Too bad you're a judge. Some excellent lines:



> But wait, what is that over there?


 



> It might be tasty, I do declare.
> I think I smell a wholesome vapor
> Coming from that there newspaper.


 
  Loved this stanza.


*Dr. Who? *~ _qwertyman_*: 10*


  Giving you 10 because I like Dr. Who.  


*The End of Me/We ~ *_velo_ *: 17*


 Really liked how you played with existence through very few words and syllables. Pretty cool. The only thing I felt that was trite were the first and last paragraphs. Everything else had a good Dr. S feel to it, while still being kinda thought provoking. Nice job.




*The Flumax ~ *[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]_Joseph B_[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]: [/FONT]*[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]18[/FONT]*[/FONT]


  [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Haha! I was expecting something like this, and I wasn't disappointed! It's always nice to see someone turn a genre on its head. I don't think the ending was as strong as the rest, though(but you did have the rhyming down).[/FONT]


  “[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Before you eat us, have * a* drink!” [/FONT] 


  [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]Missed an a here.[/FONT]


  [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]*Killing Time* *~ *_eggo _*: 18.5*[/FONT]


  [FONT=Times New Roman, serif]I liked this one a lot. Where everyone else went style, you took the elements and made something entirely twisted yet new, while still being Dr. Suess-esk. That's sick man (both connotations). I was going to give you higher, but there were a lot of typos (more than I could ignore), for your score. [/FONT]


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## Hawke (Feb 7, 2009)

_*Hawke's Scores*_


C. Gholy - Peggy and her puppy named Wuppy - 14
Paris, is that you? Just kidding. Paris and her dog popped into my mind when I read this, is all. Cute and fun. Good job. Thank you.

Katsroff - No Green Eggs Or Ham - N/A - Judge
The images this conjured up… and the sad realism... But for the grace of God, and all that. Not knowing or wanting to know what’s going on in someone else’s life, we pass judgment, order our designer coffees every day, and take a sort of giddy, reckless pleasure in paying the exorbitant price, in a way trying to forget for the moment that the majority of us are between one and three paychecks away from being in her position. Good job. Thank you. 

Raging Hopeful - Untitled - N/A - Judge
HA! Pretty darn cute, RH. I’m still grinning. Glad you had fun with it. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

Tiamat10 - Funny Bunny - N/A - Judge
You’re a strange woman, do you know that?  Too cute. Glad the bunny didn’t discover eating novels instead… although I could probably recommend several dozen.  As long as the bunny doesn’t eat the comics - those are my fav. 

Velo - Untitled - 17
Dr. Seuss, for all his humor and such, had messages (or agendas if you will) in his works. For instance, Yertle in _Yertle the Turtle_ was Hitler. The Cat in the Hat was really about… well, I won’t say. To know destroys childhood innocence. I loved the books at the time and prefer to keep my warm memories of them in tact. This work sort of reminded me of that though - a deep message beneath humor. Good job. Thank you.

JosephB - The Flumax - 19
Dr. Seuss - the adult/modern/dark side version. Laughed my ass off. 

Eggo - Killing Time - 18
Neat story and a lot of fun, this. Dr. Seuss turns homicidal maniac, eh? I always knew kids could drive one crazy, and there’s a lesson there for the spouses of children’s lit writers. Good job. Thank you.


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## Tiamat (Feb 7, 2009)

Congrats to Joe for winning!  This was definitely the most fun I've ever had judging an LM and that's entirely due to the awesome entries.  Thanks, everyone!


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## JosephB (Feb 7, 2009)

Big thanks to all the judges, and participants too. I enjoyed all the entries. That was lots o' fun, folks.


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## Raging_Hopeful (Feb 8, 2009)

Whoo hoo! Oh good fun all around and congrats Joseph and to everyone who participated!


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## eggo (Feb 8, 2009)

Thanks guys,
I was trying to adapt a Ballad Meter for use in dialog,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballad_meter
I played with the idea of breaking it up so people could find the rhythm and decided to let readers find it on their own,



With the line breaks properly inserted,
“There are things I do and things that I can’t ,
some things I should and some things I shan’t.
A poison I think, a dusty old drink. 
Made from arsenic and cyanide
made perfect for homicide,
It’s actually a pretty shade of pink.”


Pretty bad mistake. Should have broke it up. Proving once again I suck at poetry.
Sorry about the typos guys. I ran out of time and posted an half an hour before closing time. 
Congrats Joe.


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## C.Gholy (Feb 8, 2009)

This was fun, I agree with Tia about this. it was great. 
I wanna do it again.
Congrats to everyone.


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