# Which Lesser Wound~English Sonnet



## feralpen (Oct 20, 2011)

Which Lesser Wound

 So pretty lay the skirts of Antoinette
 Arranged by servants that they fall just so
 Her suitors line the halls and must be met
 In beauty lies seduction, as we know
 An ankle left so carelessly in view
 Will raise the bounty sought in barter'd gold
 And bodice taut to swell the bosom's hue
 Fair rakes the cockle's pocket of it's hold
 Good daughter of her father breathes a sigh
 Antoinette must hide the grief she bears
 Nobility has placed her worth this high
 Depravity decides whose crown she wears
 But seventeen and on her wedding night
 Antoinette must choose the dagger's bite


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## Bloggsworth (Oct 20, 2011)

Yee Har! A straight sonnet from my favourite sonneteer, and properly laid out - And a cracker. As this seems to be a forced marriage, perhaps the last line might be better if it read so:

_Antoinette must take the dagger's bite.

_Or:

_Antoinette must feel the dagger's bite.

_And in the ante-penultimate line change _whose _to_ which_?


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## Gumby (Oct 20, 2011)

Oh bravo! Excellent and well done.


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## feralpen (Oct 20, 2011)

Morning Bloggsworth;

  I was sort of depending on the title to help me out. I have a really tough time getting everything across in fourteen lines. I'm not at all satisfied with this write. I was unable to proof the virtue of Antoinette other than the one hint that she was only seventeen (which was not that young for the period, but if I go younger, it will not pass muster on today's message boards) and then there is the crown. Since she was bartered for by many, I chose to go with whose. Grammar is not my strong point. The bite? I wanted to suggest that Antoinette is in possession of her very own dagger. I was not clear enough that she would have to choose whether to use it on herself or accept that 'other' dagger which would penetrate a bit 'lower' and which would be the 'lesser bite'. 

  Thank you sincerely for your consideration and very much appreciated suggestions.

fp


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## feralpen (Oct 20, 2011)

Thank you Gumby, you're very kind.

fp


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## Firemajic (Oct 20, 2011)

Each time that I think you have written your best--you prove just what a word wizard that you are! You have waaayyy too much talent for one person ! This is stunning. You have poetically breathed new life into a history lesson! peace. Jul


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## Nacian (Oct 20, 2011)

such finess the details are just neat....beautifully put together sonnet feralpen you do it everytime better andbetter.
I also like the choice of theme...very well done I enjoyed :friendly_wink:


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## Bloggsworth (Oct 20, 2011)

Aha! Now you may resolve your dilemma by having her choose between the dagger and the spear. In chivalrous and heraldic terms, the distaff side is the female lineage, the male is the spear, with all its sexual connotations. So something along these lines:

_Bargaining decides whose crown she wears
at seventeen and on her wedding night
she must choose the dagger's bite or the spear's

_This is good stuff, don't abandon it, work on it, it will be worth it.


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## feralpen (Oct 20, 2011)

Dear Jul;

  I'm always happy to have you spoil me with your kind responses. I think the poem only reflects the mood I was in when I wrote it. I do think that some practices which were common at periods in our past were very mean to women. I think we should get Antoinette a gun ... how 'bout THAT!

fp


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## feralpen (Oct 20, 2011)

Nacian;

  Thank you for reading. I'm glad that you like 'Lesser Wound'. As always your encouragement leads me to feel that I may yet write something worthy ... so I'll keep trying. 

fp


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## feralpen (Oct 20, 2011)

'Lo Bloggsworth;

  Very good information. I may have to revisit this one and see just what can be salvaged, though I would rather have more emphasis on her virtue. The stronger suggestiveness of your 'spear' will help convey more without the need of more lines or without disrupting the meter I think. I can work with that some when I have time. Do you think I should work bargained in instead of bartered? I sort of like the archaic sound of bartered, but then I'm not much of an authority on that dialect. You do have me thinking ... thanks for the time and effort you've put in. Again, I really do appreciate it.

fp


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