# Do girls like clingy guys?



## belthagor (Feb 3, 2016)

By clingy I mean like someone who is affectionate and caring, not someone who calls 100 times a day.

I'm most comfortable asking you guys... so


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## Stormcat (Feb 3, 2016)

My own boyfriend is a bit clingy. He tells me he loves me every five minutes, and insists we hold hands everywhere.

Some days I find it sweet, other days I'm mildly annoyed. I guess it depends on the girl... and her mood.


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## Darkkin (Feb 3, 2016)

I think a lot of it depends on the type of person an individual is.  Being an introvert, I don't.  It drives me bonkers.  It has been said, I get it...Don't kill the horse; it has done nothing to you to deserve a beating or death.  Clingy is synonymous with cloying, and cloying is one of those words that by its very pronunciation makes one cringe.

Be there for them, but allow for breathing room...


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## Elvenswordsman (Feb 3, 2016)

The word clingy has, in my mind, an origin of insecurity. I think two insecure individuals who require each others presence at every moment is bad, so therefore unattractive.

Two people who are insecure, however, find it appealing.


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## Book Cook (Feb 3, 2016)

belthagor said:


> By clingy I mean like someone who is affectionate and caring, not someone who calls 100 times a day.
> 
> I'm most comfortable asking you guys... so



I've tested it on my girlfriend. Turns out it's not what she thinks or says that she likes, it's that she likes what she's not getting.


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## Jigawatt (Feb 3, 2016)

It depends on the girl. Some are more independent than others. I think it also depends on the age of the girl. Girls I dated in my youth would get upset if I missed a day without a phone call. The older ones are more assertive and call me. I think the answer to your question is, if the girl is clingy, the guy better be clingy.


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## Cran (Feb 3, 2016)

belthagor said:


> By clingy I mean like someone who is affectionate and caring, not someone who calls 100 times a day.
> 
> I'm most comfortable asking you guys... so


By clingy you mean someone who is affectionate and caring - but these are describing different things. 

Clingy has a definite meaning, a constant physical contact, an electrostatic or adhesive attachment, something that has to be peeled off. In a person, that is a selfish quality, and often associated with other negative or selfish qualities. It is only attractive to someone who wants a needy partner, to someone who wants to feel needed in a relationship. 

Affectionate and caring are distinctly different qualities, and each can exist or be expressed independently of the other. Each can, often do, have some selfish aspects, but are genuinely expressed in sensitive and not selfish ways.

So, if you are asking if girls like someone who is not afraid to be affectionate (display affections in any situation) when she is wanting (signalling a desire for) affection, then the girls I've known would say, "Yes."

If, by caring, you are asking if girls like someone who actually listens - without jumping in with instant solutions* - when they want to open up or talk about something, then the girls I've known would say, "Yes."

If, by affectionate and caring, you mean someone who also remembers on unofficial days (ie, not just on her birthday, or the anniversary of whatever) to do something romantic after the agreement to have a relationship is made, then the girls I've known would say, "Yes!"**


_*There are certain exceptions to this: plumbing problems, immediate transport issues, imminent parental visit advisories.

**This is especially true if it means not having to do the cooking or cleaning up afterwards. 
_


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## InstituteMan (Feb 3, 2016)

I'm pretty sure no girl would like any guy she described as clingy. The catch is that different girls would describe the same behavior in different ways. What's clingy to some is expected by others. Fortunately, us fellows are absolutely uniform in our expectations . . . right?


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## W.Goepner (Feb 3, 2016)

In my youth, I was the octopus, ie all hands. Well the girls who wanted that never sought me. The girls who did not want that but liked my demeanor, well they did not stay long. 

Like Cran said, clingy is more often referred to as "I can't go to the head without him there!" Most girls would rather that not be the case.

Most I would say like the word attentive over clingy. A guy who would walk them home, listen to their desires or dreams, offer a little comment now and again. When they feel like listening, they want the guy to tell some of those same things back, and not blabber about sports or cars. And Heaven Knows, DO NOT Bring up the "S" word or even hint to it, unless they do.

Do not be the statically charged sock, the all encompassing octopus, but be the one she can turn to for no matter the reason, and be careful not to let her think of you as the big brother, unless you can handle her walking out the door with your best friend.


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## MzSnowleopard (Feb 4, 2016)

I think this goes for both men and women- no one like a clinging vine. Personally I like a guy who is attentive, caring, affectionate, considerate, and willing to meet me half-way. This is why I'm still single- all I find are the guys who are the exact opposite.


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## Hairball (Feb 4, 2016)

I've always been a curmudgeon when it comes to this stuff. I'm extremely independent.

That's why my mother fainted when hubby and I told her I was pregnant.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 4, 2016)

Idk lol. I'm a cuddler, but clingy is a scary word XD


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## MzSnowleopard (Feb 4, 2016)

oh yeah, cuddling is definitely not clinging.


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## Ultraroel (Feb 4, 2016)

My GF would love me to be like that.. 
I'm not clingy at all, I prefer to show affection whenever we are alone, no need to do that in front of people who didn't ask for it. 
Clingy is a negatively loaded word though, so it would never be good as it implies.."too much".

It depends on the girl I guess and the guy.. I'm a very nice, patient and sweet guy.. but I'm not good at showing affection all the time, also cause it's unnecessary.
I always have the impression that "clingy" people are extremely scared to be left behind, which is a result of insecurity


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## Cran (Feb 4, 2016)

MzSnowleopard said:


> I think this goes for both men and women- no one like a clinging vine. Personally I like a guy who is attentive, caring, affectionate, considerate, and willing to meet me half-way. This is why I'm still single- all I find are the guys who are the exact opposite.


Thereby denting the theory that opposites attract. 

It also explains the incredible success of social media and the internet; until then, people only had that pool of possibilities in their local community, or someone picked out for them by matchmakers, or a decades long wait for the next letter from a pen friend. Now, they can meet their ideal, partner up, and split up, all within a week. It's a lifelong summer school holiday.


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## Kevin (Feb 4, 2016)

> I guess it depends on the girl... and her mood.


 Ah... her moods... The mood train is like a choo-choo train, only it's a convertible where you ride out in the elements. And sometimes that open train becomes a rollercoaster. You might even have to get off sometimes and take a cab to the next stop. Other times you look for an opening (or even if there isn't one), dive in there and hold on tight. There are no safety belts. Clingy? Generally, no. If she likes it she'll call it affectionate. If she's annoyed it's clingy.


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## Ariel (Feb 4, 2016)

Firstly, men are just as moody as women. Our society just teaches them not to show their moods while women have a free pass to do so (which is usually, inexplicably, our menstrual cycle).

Secondly, all relationships depend upon the people involved.  What is normal in one is abnormal in another.  It was normal with my ex-boyfriend that we had a formal arrangement on days that we saw each other.  With my husband we never had a formal arrangement.

Thirdly, women want to be treated like people--not strange beings that can't communicate their thoughts and desires.  My advice to everyone is to man up and talk to the person of your affection.  If you're thinking you are being too clingy or affectionate for their tastes then sit down and ask them.  Tell them you want an honest response.  And when you get it don't be offended.


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## popsprocket (Feb 4, 2016)

Cran said:


> Thereby denting the theory that opposites attract.




I will stand firmly by he idea that opposites attract.

No accounting for the fact that catastrophe strikes when they meet in the middle, but hey, the heart wants what the heart wants (stupid heart).


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## Ultraroel (Feb 4, 2016)

popsprocket said:


> I will stand firmly by he idea that opposites attract.
> 
> No accounting for the fact that catastrophe strikes when they meet in the middle, but hey, the heart wants what the heart wants (stupid heart).



Physically it's like that. An immune system that is not the same as yours, is most likely to spread a scent that you consider nice.
I can smell my ass off and be sweaty as I want.. my GF loves my smell.. :/

Also.. everyone wants to be treated as a human.. putting someone on a pedestal is terrible.


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## Greimour (Feb 4, 2016)

Depends on the person.

I could give examples of where I 'appeared' to be the clingiest guy on the planet. Wherever she was, I was. She was in the kitchen making food, I was in there talking to her. She went shop, I was holding her hand the whole way. She was watching a film in living room, I was sat right beside her. She was on the laptop in the bedroom, I was beside her reading a book. 

Sad part is, I wasn't the clingy one. If I stayed in the living room when she went into the kitchen, she would ask me to go and talk to her while she made food. 

If I was watching something when she wanted to go shop, she would ask if I could watch it online later or on +1 ... so that I could go shop with her.

The list goes on.

After a while, everyone said I was 'whipped' and 'well trained'. She no longer had to ask me to 'go with her' anywhere. To all outside viewers, I was very definition of clingy.

It didn't matter to me. I was the person she needed me to be. 

For all relationships, I became who they needed me to be. I was never just myself. I changed and adapted. But I wasn't the only one. Girls change and adapt too. A person that is single is never the same person when they are in a relationship. People change to accommodate each other. We have to let the other person know that we can each be trusted, that we will be there for each other, that our feelings are genuine.

In order to get those feelings across and make the other person know and understand, we have to do and say things we may not normally do.


All I can say is this: 

When you truly love someone, you know them. By knowing them, you know their wants, needs, desires, dreams, aspirations, goals, fears, favourite colours...and just about everything else that is important. By knowing all of that, you know what they love, like, hate and dislike. You will know if it is OK to be clingy. You will know if she likes it or dislikes it. 

If that person has the same feelings for you, they will take the time to learn the same things about you.

Together, you will come to a mutual understanding where your relationship finds a middle ground that works.



Your question is a generalization of all girls. The mass populace doesn't matter. What matters is if the person you have your heart set on.

The question is: Does SHE like 'Clingy Guys' ?


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## Kevin (Feb 4, 2016)

> men are just as moody


 I'm sorry amsaw, that is laughable. You can't show what you don't have. Proof? Look at us when we get a cold. Do we snivel or what? Imagine if we had periods. If your man is that moody he's in the minority. My apologies Kilroy, just in case... Somehow I don't think so, but it's okay if.  



> If you're thinking you are being too clingy or affectionate for their tastes then sit down and ask them.  Tell them you want an honest response.  And when you get it don't be offended.


Now that is great advice. Lay your cards on the table...





> man up and talk


 What's the worst that can happen? So she breaks up with you? So you cry? You're a man. You probably need a good cry. We all do. You'll get over it, or you won't, but you should! It wasn't a match. Keep looking. And don't be a baby. That means don't be selfish. There's nice females out there that don't need a spoiled douche in their life. Look at amsaw: smart, beautiful... WTF?! And ladies, don't put up with these spoiled douches. This the 21st century. We're all equal. There's a word: Egalitarian. It means equal to give, equal to receive. Expect that. JMO, but I see these douchey guys and these women that put up with them. Wait till he's asleep, then take a 2x4 to his shins. If he can't get up, he can't hit you. Then explain to him why you did it, because he obviously can't understand. You see we're dumb that way. Sometimes we need a good lesson.  Be a teacher and do the world a favor. .


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