# The Best Thing (language)



## ador78 (Jan 31, 2011)

This is part of something I initially wrote for the online competition on another website before the moderator delivered her twins and the site went bust. - at least, that's what i gather had happened.

Part One:[/FONT] : Fall Apart :


Brianna stripped the wedding dress from her body and calmly peeled off the gloves.

She took away some pins from her French knot and shook out her glorious dark hair. Taking a rubber band from the dresser, she tied her hair into a high pony tail. 

She threw the doors of her armoire open and picked out a simple white cotton t-shirt with the words ‘Hot Chick’ written across in red and slipped on a pair of dark jeans.

Plucking the cap hanging on a hook behind the armoire’s door, she pulled it down tight on her head and slipped on her sunglasses.

Turning to scan the room one last time to see if she left anything, Brianna decided she had everything she needed, her passport and tickets to the Great Exuma in the Bahamas in her handbag.

Just when she thought she had everything, she remembered one more item. 

One last thing every girl need for a boost of confidence. 

Kicking off the practical white sneakers, she went to her closet and searched out a black shoe box that contained her ruby-red Jimmy Choo stilettos with a peep toe and sexy ankle straps. Without a second thought she slipped the stilettos on and stuffed the pair of sneakers into her Jimmy’s hand carry.

Just in case.

Taking a deep breath, she braced herself before opening the locked door of her bedroom.

The racket outside quieted down when she swung the door open. Her mother and the maid of honour, who both had been clamouring on the door, fell back.

“Excuse me.”

Her mother stepped forward instead of stepping aside.

“Honey, are you—”

She looked down at her mother with an expressionless face. “Mom, it’s okay. Can I ask you not to ask anything now and not to worry? I need to have some space and time.”

“Bri, you cannot be thinking of going alone.” Her best friend from junior high, Lori pleaded, her eyes going to the bag in Bri’s hand.

“I am not thinking it. I am doing it.” Then, more passionately, she said to her friend, “Lori, the only thing upsetting me right now is that I sat through five hours putting myself together only to discover it was all for nothing. So before the rest of this farce of a wedding barge at me, I might as well take myself off to the Bahamas and avoid committing murder. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Here. Take Lori with you.” Her mother thrusted her friend like an additional carry-on into her path with both hands on the girl’s arms.

Lori looked at her with a surprised wide-eyed look on her face. Then she nodded quickly at Bri. “Yeah. Take me. I’ve never been to the Bahamas.”

Bri looked a slightly irritated. “You don’t have anything packed.”

“I can wear your clothes.”

Bri lifted an eyebrow. “This. Is. Not. Happening.”

“We can stop at my place for my passport on the way to the airport.”

Bri gave an exasperated sigh, “I’ll be there for two weeks. Give me a week, and have Jeremy arrange a flight for you replacing this ticket. One week and not a moment earlier.”

Jeremy was her assistant and he would manage things while she’s gone.




What do you do when your world, as you know it, fall apart? 

First, on the wedding day that you worked so hard to put together, yourfiancé did the most romantic thing in the world—only it was for someone else.

At the altar, under the arch of wild flowers of purple, pink and blue, he turned to one of the bride’s maids that you had handpicked yourself and got down on one knee, and proposed to her in front of a crowd of hundreds.

_Hundreds!_

Hundreds to testify that the unreal drama did take place.

And the bitch had the audacity to say, ‘Yes!’ At _her _wedding, damnit!

Everyone who attended the garden wedding was aghast and stood up, some in protest at the tackiness of it all.

Her parents had stood rooted as though looking in from a different zone.

Her maid of honour and the other bride’s maids had at first gaped in disbelief. Then they were in an uproar, half of them shoving and circling the maid in question and the other half had their attention on the groom.

Chaos broke lose when the bestman hit the groom with a solid punch in his face. 

And she…she, had just stood in shock as the pandemonium played around her, incomprehension stamped on her face. 

Many brides would crumble, fall apart and weep. Some would be consumed with rage and murderous urges.

For Brianna, she took a deep breath, hiccupped and walked calmly away from the aisle.

Following that, she had taken herself off to the Bahamas, where her intended honeymoon had been for. She wasn’t there for three days before Jeremy, her assistant called to tell her that the boss demanded her tender of resignation within the next twenty-four hours.

When she had demanded an explanation, Jeremy had simply said, “The Boston deal went bad.”

_Fuck the Boston deal! _Gary, her boss at Hope and Case should know better than to hang her job on that deal. He couldn’t have not known that they were negotiating the Boston deal with Henry, her ex. Obviously, like the wedding, Henry failed to follow through the deal. 


Shooting off daggers towards the general direction of the sea, Bri started to pace furiously in the sand. “Gary couldn’t have based my performance on that freakin’ deal? I mean, come on! Even though I don’t know why Henry seems to think himself the victim here, it was no reason to thwart me like this! He fucking dumped me, damn it! I didn’t do a thing to him!”

Jeremy was quiet for a moment longer before he decided to explain, “Actually, the Boston deal went bad for you. That is, Henry made sure that if Hope and Case wants the project, you cannot be in the picture at all.”

Sputtering expletives that turned Jeremy’s ear red and drummed him raw, Bri snapped, “But that’s unprofessional and bloody highly unethical. What are the grounds they are accusing me of?”

 “Conflict of interest in initiation of the project, and failure to disclose the conflict from the beginning. On Henry’s part. So his partners are allegedly accusing him of playing favours.”

“What freakin’ conflict? What favour? I pitched the damn project to the Board. Myself. They themselves decided. Does that make sense to you, Jeremy?”

“No, but logic has nothing to do with it. Henry convinced Gary that his partners are looking at the project as a breach of confidence. With you at Hope and Case, they are allegedly accusing him of playing favourites with the vendor. At the very least, because he owed you after…well, after what happened.”

“That twisted _sonofabitch!_” 

It was funny. She didn’t know which hurt more. Hope and Case’s betrayal over one project that overrode her years and loyalty with them. The hours, days, nights that she had put in. All of it disregarded for one portfolio. Or, that Henry had went so far as to play dirty even after all the mess last weekend.

“I’m sorry, Bri. Really sorry.” Jeremy said, his voice calm and quiet.

Because she knew she needed her wits about her now, Bri pulled herself together and vow to get back on track if only to bury Hope and Case as well as Henry with his little people together. “Tell Gary I’ll have my letter sent to him personally in two weeks.”


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 31, 2011)

I am off out for the day, but I look forward to looking at this when I get back.


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## blackiris212 (Apr 26, 2011)

This was a good story, I love how you didn't start the story with her getting left at the alter but her packing.
This story would definitly be a story I would read. I hope you finish it. You also did really good on the discriptions and the story telling.


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 26, 2011)

How bad am I? I am so sorry. 

This is all pretty good, there are a couple of typos where you have run words together, apart from that,


“I am not thinking *(of)* it. I am doing it.” 
Not exactly wrong, but it is a repetition of the previous words.

“Here. Take Lori with you.” Her mother thrusted *(Thrust) *her friend like an additional carry-on *(Carry all)* into her path with both hands on the girl’s arms.
Thrust is both past and present, a carry-on is a to-do, a fuss, carry-all a sort of case.

Following that, she had taken herself off to the Bahamas, where her intended honeymoon had been for. She wasn’t there for three days before Jeremy, her assistant called to tell her that the boss demanded her tender of resignation *(She tender her resignation)* within the next twenty-four hours.
Again, not exactly wrong, simply the more usual form of words.

Because she knew she needed her wits about her now, Bri pulled herself together and vow (ed) to get back on track if only to bury Hope and Case as well as Henry with his little people (together). “Tell Gary I’ll have my letter sent to him personally in two weeks.”

You don't need 'as well as' and 'together'
 There was somewhere else you switched from past to present as well.

Here it is:-
Many brides would crumble, fall apart and weep. Some would be consumed with rage and murderous urges.

For Brianna, she took a deep breath, hiccupped and walked calmly away from the aisle.
Should be:-
Many brides would have crumbled, fallen apart and wept. Some would have beeen consumed with rage and murderous urges.

As for Brianna, she took a deep breath, hiccupped and walked calmly away from the aisle.

Note the 'As for', otherwise it reads she was doing it for someone else called Brianna.

I like the style, clear and simple without being repetitive at the start of sentences, as so many people are.


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## Kat Molina (Jun 18, 2012)

Great story. Ilove the set up. There are a few grammatical errors that could be changed butother just adds to the feel of it. I’m a big believer in write the way youspeak. If it's a carry on to you not a carry all then go for it. My only realquestion is where the story takes place. Some of the slang is British but notall of it. You may want to tighten that up. 

Oh and I cheered when the best man decked the groom.


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## Primrose (Jul 30, 2012)

Totally interesting! Definitely not my type of story, but it's a fresh idea, which is cool.


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