# My Ledger, not worth reading.



## reflektionenaufi (Jul 21, 2008)

#01

It all started off as a typical day, in which typical isn’t so typical so to speak.  The week fractions off into a chart of used days, and wasted memories – leading one to believe that maybe, just maybe, there is hope.  But hope in what?  Is there enough faith to be put into our country?  Maybe our family and friends will save us.  You may wonder who the “us” spoken of is.   Well, it is you and I both.  You have already committed yourself thus far, why go back now?  Hell, this will be the first time you have ever committed to something and stuck with in your life.  No more being a quitter!  You are a loser now, you play the game to the best of your ability, yet never reach the stars in which the goals are set.  At least you have given it a shot.  Now, let’s say that the time is 2:14 PM, and you have treaded thus far up the hill.  If you are content to this very point, please take a break.  Feed your mind, you must prepare to enter this ravenous territory.  Now that you have fed, it will be much easier to soak in as much of the atmosphere as possible.  Reflect back to a day long ago.  Now picture your mother, and your father.  At this time, we are about 6 years old and growing.  Think about the biggest let-down of your childhood recollection


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## reflektionenaufi (Jul 21, 2008)

#02

Have we gotten anywhere yet?  Sometimes the voices are not voices.  They are just one voice… Mine.  We would begin to believe that we would know ourselves best of all, but we are barely learning.  Confide in my self and bare no restraint, yet no change can come about.  I only confirm my suspicions, and can not control what he tells me to do.  Maybe a few days have passed by, and I have not had any change in pace yet.  Seems to me, I am re-living each day over, and over.  Same routines, same faces, same useless garbage on television; what else is out there?  This cloud holds me safely in my shell, and allows me to breathe and understand my own logic while in its midst.  At the same time slowly choking every last bit of life I have left in me away.  So hard to break free from this cloud, I have a couple times before, but it was too clever for me.  You see, the cloud had demons working in its reigns disguised as the nearest companion.  Slowly, I made my way as far as the eye could see, further and further away from the cloud and its influence.  Until one day, a demon slipped through a crack in the wall I had built and by the end of that night, the cloud had consumed me once again.  I am weak, I gave no fight.  Instead, gave praise and vowed to always be at the clouds disposal, which would never be disposed.


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## reflektionenaufi (Jul 21, 2008)

#03

I sometimes get nervous around people, because I get the feeling based on a look, or what is perceived by me as a look, that they in fact, can hear my thoughts and that’s when things begin to become really nerve racking. I look at them, but think I hope they don’t see me looking at them, trying to see if they are looking at me, maybe hearing what I am thinking “oh sh*t… they saw me looking, damn it shut up! Shut up! They will hear me, sh*t. Do they know, I wonder if they heard me”. It is a very risky situation, and I can’t help but fall victim to it all too often.


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## Nykimbur (Jul 21, 2008)

You're right, this isn't worth reading. My bio's much better. This just confirms that I'm better than the average diary writer.


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## The Backward OX (Jul 22, 2008)

I'm always pleased to see these disclaimers in the title. Saves me wasting my time.

That is self-defeating behaviour. If you want to get anywhere in this life, with anything, a little dose of self-promotion goes a long way. As it is, I haven't read this.

Next time, why not use something like this: 

“Here’s something to brighten your day! My Ledger!”

(Even though you may in your heart believe otherwise)

 Never give a sucker an even break. Get the punters in by whatever means possible. How often have you seen a car in a used-car lot with a sign "This car is a heap of junk"? And yet most of us know that most cars in used-car lots are exactly that - heaps of junk.

 A 17th Century English proverb posed it thus: Does ever any man cry “Stinking fish to be sold?”

In fact, there was a case in English Law in recent history where the Judge in a case involving a claim for compensation for shoddy goods invoked this proverb in his judgement against the claimant, saying that the rule of _Caveat Emptor –_ let the buyer beware – applied, and held that “No vendor is obliged to cry “Stinking Fish.”

So should it be with every thing you do. Don’t tell people you’re stupid, or it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Be like Cassius Clay and say “I am the greatest!”


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## Nykimbur (Jul 23, 2008)

Ox is right, you should listen to him.


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