# The Kindergartner



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Jun 19, 2015)

He wears the skin
of those who know him
takes their life within his breath
be it darkness of sin
or light they show him
he will lead them to their death

He needs not eyes to see
nor ears to hear
he tastes the dreams of you and me
and he can smell your fear

Those he consumes are many
and those he spares are few
so at every night's beginning
pray he does not notice you


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## PiP (Jun 19, 2015)

Hi Crow, enjoyed this!

Should it be kindergartner? 



> *1. A child who attends kindergarten.
> **2. A teacher in a kindergarten.*





> He needs not a pair of eyes to see
> nor needs a pair of ears to hear
> he tastes the dreams of you and me
> and he can smell your fear



please may I make a suggestion on this stanza? 

Do we need the words 'pair of' eyes and 'pair of ears' ? 

ex
nor needs ears to hear


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Jun 19, 2015)

PiP said:


> Hi Crow, enjoyed this!
> 
> Should it be kindergartner?
> 
> ...



Yes, and yes. Haha. 

I even let this one simmer and came back to it weeks later. So my eyes missed it twice! Aahg. Much appreciated, Pippy Pie. Glad you enjoyed it.


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## PiP (Jun 19, 2015)

Please can I make one further suggestion?



> He needs not eyes to see
> nor needs ears to hear



What about 

He needs not eyes to see
nor ears to hear


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Jun 19, 2015)

Egads, my sensibilities! You wound me!

Kidding. That should work much better as well. 

You're so helpful. Haha.


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## Sonata (Jun 19, 2015)

I liked the original version but much prefer your edits, as suggested by PiP.


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## musichal (Jun 19, 2015)

Great poem, and you took good advice to improve it.  That's good theatre.  Now, does the final line really need "that"?  Seems smoother without, to me... could be just me, though.


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## Firemajic (Jun 19, 2015)

Crowley K. Jarvis said:


> Yes, and yes. Haha.
> 
> I even let this one simmer and came back to it weeks later. So my eyes missed it twice! Aahg. Much appreciated, Pippy Pie. Glad you enjoyed it.






:coffeescreenippy Pie...god, I love that...lmao...  ummm... anywaaay... Crowley, this is fabulous.... and I do agree with Pippy Pie!     ... You have a weird twisted vibe goin' on in your poetry that I love! CHILLS and THRILLS... it's that subtle terror the gets me EVERY time... Thanks Dude... cool stuff.. Peace always...jul


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## PiP (Jun 19, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> :coffeescreenippy Pie...god, I love that...lmao...



Rather Pippy Pie than porky Pie!

I was thinking some more about this poem.

I REALLY like



> He wears the skin
> of those who know him
> takes their life within his breath


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## Firemajic (Jun 19, 2015)

Pippy Pie.. Crowley has a twisted mind, which I love.. he has a nice collection of poems like this that you may enjoy... but you WILL be afraid to go to sleep.... You should check them out, but you will want to leave a light on when it gets dark...


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## musichal (Jun 19, 2015)

Yes, this is indeed a good one.  Keep coming back to it.  Has a touch of brothers grimm.  Good one, Crowl.


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## jenthepen (Jun 20, 2015)

What a great spooky poem! I hope you are gathering all these into a collection that you will publish some day?


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Jun 21, 2015)

Soon as I have a printer, I'm printing a bunch of stuff I've written, poems, short stories, and all. A resume of sorts perhaps.

Then when I walk around saying 'I'm a writer,', and they say, 'Oh yeah?' I say 'YEAH!' And whip it out. 'In yo' face!'

...Ok that'll never happen. Let a boy dream? Hahah.


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## jenthepen (Jun 21, 2015)

You ever meet someone who tells you you're not a writer, Crowley, you just send them to me and I'll set them straight.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Jun 21, 2015)

jenthepen said:


> You ever meet someone who tells you you're not a writer, Crowley, you just send them to me and I'll set them straight.



Oh, how you honor me! 

What? I'm not turning red. No, I've been running...er, drinking, er... xD


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