# Fun In The US Army - Basic Training



## Hairball (Dec 17, 2015)

I was very young when I joined the US Army, only 18. I actually wanted to join the Air Force, but the recruiter was out to lunch so I walked across the hall and plopped my teenaged butt into a chair at the Army recruiter's office.

Somebody was gonna pay for the rest of my college! I won a scholarship but my parents were still paying off student loans and dealing with my idiot older sister. I was not going to deal with that.

Fast-forward through summer...I'm in basic training between my freshman and sophomore years in college.

We were being taught hand-to-hand combat. That's when you and the enemy run out of bullets and you have to beat the crap out of each other physically. This was fun, and back in the day when the drill sergeants cussed at you. One of my drill sergeants decided to use me as a punching bag. Okay, he flipped me over, demonstrating a move used in this.

I got up. He came at me again, and I thought, "Oh hell no!" So I punched him in the face and down he went. He was out for almost a minute. I broke his nose and loosened some teeth. Everyone gasped, and the other drill sergeant ran to him. I just stood there for a second, stunned.

I ran to the CQ office for paper towels, because his nose was bleeding pretty badly. I came back, helped wipe his face and all, and put the towels in his hand so he could hold it on his nose.

I apologized to him. "I'm so sorry, Sergeant, I reacted without thinking. I'm sorry." I said, thinking right there and then, my Army career was over.

He looked at me and said, "Thank God you're on our side."


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## Riptide (Dec 17, 2015)

This kinda mirrors mine! Kinda... not so much actually. I was 17 when I enlisted. Actually a week or so before my 18th birthday. I left for basic at the end of high school. Right after I raised that right hand I was reading over the different ranks from all the branches and this guy starts up a conversation with me and I ask him if he could do it over again would he have chosen army. He said no, and I should've gone Air force. Well, too late now.

Anyway, funny little tale. I would never imagine hitting my Drill Sergeant like that. I was, though, the test subject for a choke hold. Everyone thought that was funny because I'm so small and child-like. Whatever the DS did to you you got to do it back. Except he was a pro and my throat remained swollen long after he had let go.

And they do still curse at you. I doubt that's going to change... ever.


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## dither (Dec 17, 2015)

Nice one Hairball.


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## Lewdog (Dec 17, 2015)

Well I didn't go to Army boot camp but I did go to Parris Island.  For me a fun day was when they had pepperoni on the salad bar in the mess hall.  That and when there was pineapple.  Those weren't there every day so it was a treat.  Other than that, everything else sucked!


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## lvcabbie (Dec 17, 2015)

Sadly, from what I've been reading Basic and Boot Camp aren't the same any more. Liberal lawyers, lawsuits, and politically correct regulations have basically castrated the good old DI. Swearing is not considered belittling and we can't have that. They've done away with the Daily Dozen as it belittles the smaller or female trainees.

We're turning out a bunch of wuzzes.

Thank God that once they get into places like Afghanistan they say to hell with the pussy stuff and learn to act like soldiers - or marines.


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## Riptide (Dec 17, 2015)

lvcabbie said:


> Sadly, from what I've been reading Basic and Boot Camp aren't the same any more. Liberal lawyers, lawsuits, and politically correct regulations have basically castrated the good old DI. Swearing is not considered belittling and we can't have that. They've done away with the Daily Dozen as it belittles the smaller or female trainees.
> 
> We're turning out a bunch of wuzzes.
> 
> Thank God that once they get into places like Afghanistan they say to hell with the pussy stuff and learn to act like soldiers - or marines.



I don't really know about that... I entered a year ago and... well, they cursed us up and down, smoked us like no tomorrow, and female, males... no distinction really. The males were actually told not to help a female at all, for anything, and would actually shut doors in our faces in the beginning because the DS drilled that into them that females had to work too. Daily Dozens, no they weren't called that, our workout routine. We basically just ran and got smoked.

Then again, I had one of the harder ones. My sister's was way easier.

But you know, it's the older generation who makes the changes. Those who went through the old regulations and institutions are making the rules for the new generation.


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## Hairball (Dec 17, 2015)

When I was a CO, I received an edict from our Battalion Colonel. It said we couldn't cuss any more. That was in 1999.

But as a female CO, I knew I was accepted when they would fart loudly and NOT say, "Excuse me, ma'am."

Then I installed the fart rating of 1 (lame) to 10 (Richter Scale registry). I'd say stuff like, "Oh good heavens. That was a 4. You could do better in your sleep, soldier! Carry on!"


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## Lewdog (Dec 17, 2015)

I was at boot camp in I think it was 2005.  I saw some pretty crazy things.  Once we were standing in line for the barber while another group was standing in line to go to the PX.  All of a sudden this DI that was with the other group started yelling at the recruit at the front of our line.  He was saying something like, "Recruit what the fuck are you looking at?  Are you eye balling me?  Do you want to fuck me or something, because you are certainly eye fucking me right now!"  Then the DI walked right up within inches of his face, hocked a huge luggie, and spit it RIGHT in his face.  I was thinking to myself, this certainly isn't what the Marine recruiter explained to me.  We were told at the recruiting office that the DI's would curse, but they would stop if they saw a recruit was becoming distressed, and they would NEVER physical touch or assault a recruit.  Well all of that was utter bullshit.  The spitting instance wasn't the only assault I saw, there were several others.  There was even one where I literally saw four DI's jump and pile up on a recruit because he supposedly 'touched' one of the DIs, which I saw he didn't do it.


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## Hairball (Dec 17, 2015)

Lewdog said:


> I was at boot camp in I think it was 2005.  I saw some pretty crazy things.  Once we were standing in line for the barber while another group was standing in line to go to the PX.  All of a sudden this DI that was with the other group started yelling at the recruit at the front of our line.  He was saying something like, "Recruit what the fuck are you looking at?  Are you eye balling me?  Do you want to fuck me or something, because you are certainly eye fucking me right now!"  Then the DI walked right up within inches of his face, hocked a huge luggie, and spit it RIGHT in his face.  I was thinking to myself, this certainly isn't what the Marine recruiter explained to me.  We were told at the recruiting office that the DI's would curse, but they would stop if they saw a recruit was becoming distressed, and they would NEVER physical touch or assault a recruit.  Well all of that was utter bullshit.  The spitting instance wasn't the only assault I saw, there were several others.  There was even one where I literally saw four DI's jump and pile up on a recruit because he supposedly 'touched' one of the DIs, which I saw he didn't do it.



Oh my! That's awful! That never happened under my command!


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## Riptide (Dec 17, 2015)

Lewdog said:


> I was at boot camp in I think it was 2005.  I saw some pretty crazy things.  Once we were standing in line for the barber while another group was standing in line to go to the PX.  All of a sudden this DI that was with the other group started yelling at the recruit at the front of our line.  He was saying something like, "Recruit what the fuck are you looking at?  Are you eye balling me?  Do you want to fuck me or something, because you are certainly eye fucking me right now!"  Then the DI walked right up within inches of his face, hocked a huge luggie, and spit it RIGHT in his face.  I was thinking to myself, this certainly isn't what the Marine recruiter explained to me.  We were told at the recruiting office that the DI's would curse, but they would stop if they saw a recruit was becoming distressed, and they would NEVER physical touch or assault a recruit.  Well all of that was utter bullshit.  The spitting instance wasn't the only assault I saw, there were several others.  There was even one where I literally saw four DI's jump and pile up on a recruit because he supposedly 'touched' one of the DIs, which I saw he didn't do it.



Wow, seriously? We had one who had a flashback from war and nearly choked out this kid on day one. I didn't see it. Another one punched his fist through the bus window. Someone spit once in formation as we were getting smoked and my DS told him to pick it back up. He didn't so my DS stood in front of him and made him pick something. The kid grabbed dirt and put it in his mouth.

No real touching though.


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## TJ1985 (Dec 17, 2015)

Lewdog said:


> I was at boot camp in I think it was 2005.  I saw some pretty crazy things.  Once we were standing in line for the barber while another group was standing in line to go to the PX.  All of a sudden this DI that was with the other group started yelling at the recruit at the front of our line.  He was saying something like, "Recruit what the fuck are you looking at?  Are you eye balling me?  Do you want to fuck me or something, because you are certainly eye fucking me right now!"  Then the DI walked right up within inches of his face, hocked a huge luggie, and spit it RIGHT in his face.  I was thinking to myself, this certainly isn't what the Marine recruiter explained to me.



Many times, I have wished I'd been able to pass the medical stuff. Absent fingers plus other physical defects made that impossible (TN Army National Guard didn't even want me) and I've never been allowed to serve. It's something I wish I could have done. At the same time though, it's just as well that I couldn't because I could see me giving him about a week to convince himself that I was a yellow-bellied coward who would never stand up to him. Week two, if the man went into a dark area without three or four grade-A legbreakers in tow, then he'd be a complete moron. He'd have more skill in hand-to-hand, obviously, and that would be my greatest obstacle. I fight incredibly dirty and do not mind being downright nasty when it's win or face serious punishment. That would be his greatest obstacle. Tightly policing my mouth and the early application of a thick blanket over his head... he may not even know who put him in the infirmary for a fortnight. In prizefighting and MMA there are many rules but in a darkened alley with that guy there'd be only two rules: Don't lose. Don't get caught. 

Cowardly? Yes. 
Sneaky? Yes. 
Lacking in proper masculine pride? Yes. 

True, I'd not be able to gloat properly over the victory if I won because it would incriminate me. Still, he'd have trouble working up a respectable loogie with his nose looking north and smelling east, his sinuses surgically rerouted by way of his sigmoid colon, where his teeth were for a time. 

I would not have done well in the military. I tend to give respect when it is earned rather than when it demanded and rather than reply immediately to an abuse, I'll plot, plan, and surveil until I can select a time, location, and method that will allow retribution without repercussion. If I'd gotten in, I can already see that I'd currently be living in Leavenworth or worse. That's in Kansas... No offense to members in Kansas, but I like trees, grass, and hills... I didn't get to serve my country and as such I wonder at times if it *is* *my *country because I have done so little to deserve it. At the same time, I know I'm too much like... me, to have ever done well in the military, even the TN Army National Guard. They'd take a dim view of a newbie damaging their merchandise or even trying to...


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## LeeC (Dec 17, 2015)

Nice little anecdote Hairball. I enjoyed it  and look at all the recalls it brought out.

Sounds like a "basic" mindset TJ ;-) Yes basic training has changed over the years, but so has the way we conduct warfare. When I went through it back in the '50s it was intended to be a physical and mental endurance test, and as fate would have it some of our group were selected for Ranger training which was much more demanding. And no, the ACLU wasn't protecting us ;-) 

My father told me that when he enlisted for WWII, the DS (is that where "dis" came from?) told them that anyone that wanted to take him on was welcome to try as the point was having the toughest SOB possible leading them to the slaughter. 

Sure, today there are ground mop ups, but more and more wholesale war is at arms length. Warfare changes as weapons and techniques change, and thus so do training and societal influences on such. There's the basic natural order tendency and it's  the history of humankind since time immemorial.  It won't change as long as our excesses diminish our habitat. Think about the future where there will be wars over food, having all but wiped out pollinators which are responsible for one out of every third bite. Think about the potential for wars over water just here in the US, and the added conflicts of more people on less land as the seas rise, just to name a few boiling points. 

Maybe by the time we've reached the point of warfare with sticks and stones again, we may understand the value of living in harmony with the natural world, respecting all life forms. 

Sorry Hairball, you got me blabbing. I'll crawl back in my hole now.


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## lvcabbie (Dec 18, 2015)

Riptide said:


> I don't really know about that... I entered a year ago and... well, they cursed us up and down, smoked us like no tomorrow, and female, males... no distinction really. The males were actually told not to help a female at all, for anything, and would actually shut doors in our faces in the beginning because the DS drilled that into them that females had to work too. Daily Dozens, no they weren't called that, our workout routine. We basically just ran and got smoked.
> 
> Then again, I had one of the harder ones. My sister's was way easier.
> 
> But you know, it's the older generation who makes the changes. Those who went through the old regulations and institutions are making the rules for the new generation.



What beanch? And where did you do your Basic/Boot?


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## Riptide (Dec 18, 2015)

lvcabbie said:


> What beanch? And where did you do your Basic/Boot?



Army and Fort Leonard Wood.


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## lvcabbie (Dec 19, 2015)

Riptide said:


> Army and Fort Leonard Wood.



Oh goodie. Time in little Korea


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## RDA (Dec 24, 2015)

Oh my this brings back memories, in some ways I miss it, but overall, good riddance to military life!


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## Winston (Dec 27, 2015)

All veterans have stories.  I like reading each and every one.  Thanks Hairball.

IMHO the military values of self-reliance and cooperation are vital for citizens as well as soldiers.  As a Jar Head, I have a bias leaning toward martial and visceral skills.  Yet, whether you load bombs, drive trucks or serve slop, it's that killer instinct, that drive to win that makes the difference.

Oh, and your Drill Instructor should be thankful you didn't go for a leg sweep.  Knees don't heal very well.


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## Bard_Daniel (Dec 27, 2015)

Hi there Joyce!

I read this a while ago and can't believe I didn't comment on it. I must have been in a rush or something.

It was good. Excellent writing and a great story to boot.

Keep up the good work!


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## Hairball (Jan 4, 2016)

Thanks!

I loved the Army. I need to write more stuff about it!


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