# How far back do you remember?



## Llyralen (Oct 8, 2022)

I’m writing a novel (and yes, I think it has to be this way) where a 13 year old talks about being kidnapped at age 6.  It is told like a story/flashback.  She talks us through her memories of her father who was killed.

There is something fairy-story-like about the way she tells it that is actually good for the whole story and the genre in my opinion, as her memories and identity will get questioned through out her life

I’m basing how she remembers and what she remembers on my own memories from age 5-6-7.  My three siblings have memories starting from around age 3 as I do, and we enjoy hearing the different perspectives to the same event. If we remember differently then we usually thrash it out and someone “wins” basically.  Lol.

What I’m hearing from my writer’s group is that half of them don’t have memories from that age and they find the idea of having memories from that age quite alienating. I also met a guy who I posed this question to and he thought if someone remembered back then, childhood memories would probably be uninteresting— and it seems the opposite to me. Childhood memories are fascinating.  One guy in my group who does have memories from this age wondered if his memories frkm that age were planted by his family and internalized as his own.  I know mine are mine. Thoughts and emotions I had that I remember about what was going on that no one else could tell me.

I think it might be highly different for different people. I know a woman who told me she doesn’t remember anything growing up until her mid 20’s. I know her large family, they had so many activities— it is hard for me to understand how she doesn’t remember them.  

Between my two children, I have one who remembers much better than I do things that happened when he was quite young and he also remembers things that happened around the same time— and I believe they are very accurate memories.  I think, “Oh yeah, I remember that!” when he reminds me about a snow storm or what we were doing around a certain date. His twin sister hardly remembers anything before age 8, and even after that it’s very selective.  My twins are 17 years old now. 


Anyway, how far back do your memories go?  Why did you think was the norm before this post?  Or now?


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## Banespawn (Oct 8, 2022)

Llyralen said:


> His twin sister hardly remembers anything before age 8, and even after that it’s very selective.


That seems way too old to not remember much. I mean, sure, there's lots of things we forget about. Like I can't recall what I had for dinner a week ago, but that's because it isn't important. I eat dinner every night.

I have some memories from about the time I was 4, but these are memories I've held onto, memories that were important at the time and were revisited after the fact. I turned 6 about a month after kindergarten began and I have quite a few memories from back then, most of them related to kindergarten, and again, because those memories were revisited after the fact. I've known my best friend since kindergarten and we occasionally retell the tale of how I hit him over the head with a long block, because I was pretending it was a sword. We sometimes recall riding the milk cart to the gym/cafeteria to pick up the milk for the class. And I have other memories that are more personal to me, that he wouldn't remember, but are things that I've kept with me over the years.

Something that is highly traumatic, that will stay with the character forever unless they've somehow repressed it. Your character isn't going to get kidnapped and have her father killed and then never think of it again. If the character was 2, then maybe they wouldn't remember. But by 6 years old, the character is old enough to remember everything. They may not remember everything 100% accurately. People usually don't, regardless of their age. But she will remember something that significant.


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## Mark Twain't (Oct 8, 2022)

I remember my 7th birthday party and I'm 58. 

How many of your group are 13 because that's the age of your character. I can't see why a 13 yar old wouldn't retain memories from when they were 6.


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## jenthepen (Oct 8, 2022)

I have a scattering of very early memories but they all involve quite traumatic experiences. For instance, when I was 18 months old, I fell into the fire. Of course, the family have discussed this awful event many times and a lot of the circumstances around it have probably come to be part of my memory via their accounts, but there are some details of it that they couldn't have known. For example, I have a vivid memory of the sound of the wind roaring in the chimney above my head and of hands around my waist pulling me backwards. I also still get a tingle down my spine when I think of being in a bed and my whole body pulsating in time to the throbbing in my hands.

My son, on the other hand, seems to have virtually no detailed memories from before the age of 10. Maybe it depends on the events experienced?

I am a very introspective type and was, even as a child - always thinking about stuff that had happened and my part in the happenings of the day, so maybe that leads to more memory retention too? I have lots of memories of being at home with Mum before I started school, aged 5. After 5 my store of memory is better than about stuff that happened in recent years!

So I think it depends on the personality of the individual and the experiences they go through. Your character would probably have the traumatic experience of a kidnap and murder seared into the memory forever! I guess that's what flashbacks and PTSD are all about - the inability to shake off the memories of bad experiences.


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## Joker (Oct 8, 2022)

I will never forget my father taking me with him to a video game store to pick up his copy of Gran Turismo 2 on Christmas Day of 1999. That game started my life-long love affair of cars - especially the Honda S2000.

I was two and a half.


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## CyberWar (Oct 8, 2022)

I can remember isolated episodes up to when I was around one year old. The earliest thing I remember vaguely is being driven around in a baby stroller that had side windows on a country road. My first clear memory though is of mom changing my diapers and applying baby powder on my backside from a light-green round box (import from West Germany, as I later learned because that box was still around years later), while I am standing on a couch with a fluffy red synthetic cover and looking outside a window through a gap in the curtains. I could have been one and something around that time, just having learned to walk. I still have that couch in my home today, though it's been freshened up and changed significantly several times since.

I have many other memories like that. The oldest ones up until the age of three feel like shrouded in a black mist, but after that I remember most things very clearly.

Not that such a good memory is always a good thing. When you remember nearly every single bad thing that's ever happened to you (or what you have done) with crystal clarity as if it happened yesterday, it's sometimes difficult to stay focused on the here and now and keep going.


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## NajaNoir (Oct 8, 2022)

I'm 44 and I have a memory from age three still that I just can't shake. My usual babysitter always made lumpy mashed potatoes and I just wasn't having any of it. Nope!

At age 5 went on my first roller coaster, Knot's Berry Farm. I remember looking at it, it was the one where the track ends high in the sky, then comes back the way it came around the loop. It was AWESOME!


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## JBF (Oct 8, 2022)

Few memories before the age of three.  Of course, I am reliably informed of having tried to start a wall outlet with a luggage key and shortly thereafter riding my Big Wheel down a flight of wooden stairs.

After that things are a little hazy and nothing much stands out until twelve or thirteen.


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## Explosia (Oct 8, 2022)

I don't know how young I was exactly, but it was young enough that I remember standing in a crib. The room was dark because I was, obviously, supposed to be asleep. But instead, I was standing with my little hands clasping the bar of my crib, and I heard the phone ring downstairs. When it was answered, I said out lout to myself "Mommy's talking on the phone." 

That's about as early as I can think. The second earliest is when I was, again, supposed to be in bed, but instead I got on a little plastic car and pushed myself around my room. I eventually pushed myself out into the hall, where all the lights were on. I made it to the top of the steps before I heard my dad say "[Explosia's] awake." I knew I was in trouble, so I hopped off that little car and ran back into my room and into bed.


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## VRanger (Oct 8, 2022)

Late age three for me. From 4 1/2 on is pretty solid.


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## Cornelius Coburn (Oct 9, 2022)

Deleted


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## Mark Twain't (Oct 9, 2022)

Mark Twain't said:


> I remember my 7th birthday party and I'm 58.


Can I just add to this, I can't remember what I had for dinner last night!


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## Lawless (Oct 9, 2022)

It seems to me that many people really can't remember much of their childhood, but I can't imagine a 13-year-old can't remember something as dramatic as being kidnapped at the age of 6.


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## Joker (Oct 9, 2022)

Lawless said:


> It seems to me that many people really can't remember much of their childhood, but I can't imagine a 13-year-old can't remember something as dramatic as being kidnapped at the age of 6.



I clearly remember my entire childhood. It was cars, PlayStation and Nintendo.

Huh. Maybe I was Japanese in a past life.


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## Louanne Learning (Oct 9, 2022)

I have vivid memories from when I was 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... They are like little snippets of time, but I remember them well.


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## Mark Twain't (Oct 9, 2022)

Joker said:


> I clearly remember my entire childhood. It was cars, PlayStation and Nintendo.


Mine was Matchbox cars, Monopoly and Patience (with real cards).

I'm old!


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## Arsenex (Oct 9, 2022)

I was three. My sister was five. It was November 25, 1963. Our lone 13" TV was showing nothing but the JFK funeral. We wanted cartoons, but the UHF channels weren't coming in down in our living room. So she directed me to pick up one end of the TV and we were going to carry it upstairs where we would have reception. I hugged my end and she hers. Three steps into it she lost her grip and dropped her end. The TV dropped to the floor and broke. No TV for a year.


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## Matchu (Oct 9, 2022)

‘Auntie’ Anne lost her voice. I asked her where she lost it, spent an hour in the garden as a consequence.

Never found it.  

That would be ‘73…I claim ‘72 as well.  I used to claim Woodstock & Moon Landing but that would be prenatal, memories through the hatch/space hatch.

I had some fantastic outfits - astronaut/soldier/Star Trek t-shirt/kung-fu pyjamas.

A lot of mud & proud to have visited the high street naked.


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## Arsenex (Oct 9, 2022)

Oh. And we were living at Camp Lejeune at the time, for anyone who has been plagued with the billion commercials about it.


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## ehbowen (Oct 9, 2022)

I remember several details from the home we moved from when I was 3; of course they have been reinforced over the 55 years since by dad's Brownie home movies.

But I would suggest that you research the story of Sacajawea. Going from memory, but IIRC she was brought east over the Rockies as a very young child. Twenty years (or so) later she successfully guided the Lewis and Clark expedition back over the Rockies to her home tribe based on nothing other than those early childhood memories. Might mesh very well with your tale.


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## Llyralen (Oct 9, 2022)

ehbowen said:


> I remember several details from the home we moved from when I was 3; of course they have been reinforced over the 55 years since by dad's Brownie home movies.
> 
> But I would suggest that you research the story of Sacajawea. Going from memory, but IIRC she was brought east over the Rockies as a very young child. Twenty years (or so) later she successfully guided the Lewis and Clark expedition back over the Rockies to her home tribe based on nothing other than those early childhood memories. Might mesh very well with your tale.


True!  Nice connection there. 
The person I’m writing about is a legendary person, but there was a historic figure to start and her story lived on.


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## indianroads (Oct 9, 2022)

People are different from one another, some have poor memories while others don’t. I have several memories from before I was 2 years old. The clarity and number of memories increase as I got older.


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## Arsenex (Oct 10, 2022)

indianroads said:


> People are different from one another, some have poor memories while others don’t. I have several memories from before I was 2 years old. The clarity and number of memories increase as I got older.


I have a terrible memory. I have to be introduced to someone at least three times before a name sticks. And I've never been good at retaining conversation. I had a friend who could tell you the exact words some girls uttered in a parking lot five years before, even if only a brief meeting. I can often do that with numbers, but names and faces? I have poor recall on the social stuff. Even now, I can go back and read my earlier books and it's almost like reading them for the first time. The downside, though, is the asking myself, "Who wrote this trash?" lol.


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## C.K.Johnson (Oct 10, 2022)

My sons were ‘kidnapped’ (by their father) at age 4 and they remember. They’re in their 40’s now.


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## Matchu (Oct 10, 2022)

I had a nanny who only ever fed me tinned spaghetti - that was 4 - same year they left me in the treehouse.


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## Joker (Oct 10, 2022)

Matchu said:


> I had a nanny who only ever fed me tinned spaghetti - that was 4 - same year they left me in the treehouse.


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## Mullanphy (Oct 10, 2022)

My earliest memory is of a dream that disturbed my sleep when I was but three.

The dream was not a nightmare, just a dream of an aluminum kite being flown from our backyard. Time has erased all other childhood dreams, but that one remains solidly rooted.


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## Theglasshouse (Oct 10, 2022)

I have a couple of memories of living in Columbus, Georgia (Fort Benning I think is in Columbus Georgia)  in the United States while my dad studied for a military career (and at some point diplomacy though I think that was elsewhere). I had excellent memories at age 6 or 7 when I was over there. From elsewhere where I have lived, I remember Florida as well. I lived there in my uncle's house while my father trained in the us military in a military academy which was an exchange program in Georgia. Over there In Georgia, many people from other countries lived in that military fort. I remember the entrance of the neighborhood, the park, the house, the school visually. However, I didn't remember the school's name. My brother did. I remember one person's first name who was Axel in kindergarten school/elementary. When my mother left me in the classroom, I cried since I did not want to be alone and did not understand the situation. So I cried like a kid would and tried to open the door by banging on it. I have many more memories there specifically and in Florida when I grew older. I had a best friend who was a girl who I would always visit and who was a neighbor. I also had lots of friends since little kids were next door everywhere. I was learning English over there. The elementary school was a short distance from walking the backyard of my house for 3-4 minutes. There was also a school bus. My mother was a babysitter.

However, the earliest memory I remember was traumatic for my brother when a pot of water that was boiling spilled on his stomach accidentally. That was when I was four. If earlier I can't seem to remember. I had a dream it seemed once when I was a toddler. But toddlers aren't supposed to remember things because of childhood amnesia. However, for what it is worth, I remember a cat swung its paw on the face when I crawled next to it. I will spare the rest of the details. The past can also create false memories, so I don't know if it is real. We tend to forget so much and that is why I am so unsure.


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## Llyralen (Oct 10, 2022)

@Theglasshouse 
And anyone into some research on this… 

I just read a bunch of information on childhood amnesia and something that I found very interesting was how differences in culture affected childhood amnesia.  For instance, in many cultures females remember earlier than males and mention others more but in China females remember much later than males (around age 6 instead of 2 1/2) and also differences in mothering style affected childhood amnesia.  Thrown in was some info on false memories— they were leaning more towards trusting memories unless memories had been specifically “planted” by others.  I also looked at current thought on age of oldest memory.  It sounds like a new huge study from 2021 says the average first memories are from age 2 1/2 and that for some reason a lot of us will place the age of those childhood memories (when telling about them) to a year ahead.  

I actually did exactly that.  My first “easy to date” memory is the birth of my sister.  She and I are 2.75 years apart, but yesterday if I had told this story, I would have said “I was 3 and 3/4.”  So funny!  They say we often say our dates are later until about age 4 memories.


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## Llyralen (Oct 10, 2022)

Emotional episodes are what I remember best.  

For instance, strong instances of shame or embarrassment, fear, shock, joy and happiness or contentment, peace, exhilaration. I think my youngest memory is being in bed with my parents while they read stories to me. I can date it for certain to age 2 because I couldn’t talk in sentences, it was in the house I grew up in (we moved there just before I turned two) with the sheets my parents might still have, but they were definitely brighter colors than my older memories. I was very happy, crawling around on the bed to position myself between my two parents and to see the pictures.

I also remember people’s voices (the tone, etc) and what they said for many of these early memories.  Sometimes smell—smell is usually the hardest for me to recall randomly.  I was just recalling my grandfather from when I was younger than 5– I suddenly remembered the smell of his truck, the smell of his cooking (super-crisp bacon and pancakes cooked in bacon grease) and the smell of his cigarettes. I definitely remember his voice and chuckle. He was wonderful.

I remember my own thoughts, especially in anything that caused shock.  Usually shock is kind of a complex system.  Like the first time I saw someone without a foot.  The first time I met someone from outside my religion.  Lol  I remember my own thoughts in times of shame too.  

What about you guys?


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## Matchu (Oct 10, 2022)

_[about 6 years old? Terrorised by Canadians in flouncy dresses, recall episode]_

Gladmouse was always first at the bus stop.  Her dress was so pretty.

All of a sudden Fingus tumbled from his dustbin parked here at the side of the road.

‘Good morning bag breath,’ he said and he scratched dirty skin with his claw.

‘Bag breath!’ thought Gladmouse, ‘of all of the rude things, the impertinence on a Monday morning. Really, ‘ she considered, ‘really that Fingus does not deserve a school bus ride. In fact, boys like him should suffer in a kind of a, a maximum security electric prison for his own good.’ 

She imagined the flag pole of the classroom and wiped the corner of her mouth with the white glove.  Perhaps mummy might book an appointment with the Oropsyschotherapist-hygienist, and soon, saliva was such a curse.

Fingus collected the lizard from the pavement.  ‘Heh, heh heh, heh, heh heh heh…’ he said…

[mmm. WIP, no keyboard access until release date]


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## Theglasshouse (Oct 10, 2022)

@Llyralen
More emotional memories here.

I remember seeing a little girl fleetingly in my memory who had a patched eye when on the school bus. This was new to me because I had never seen anyone injured and it spooked me a bit. I do remember feeling ashamed at one point for the girl who was my best friend at the time. Being very young at 6 or 7, a older boy (compared to me but not by much) asked me if she was my girlfriend. I said no. It wasn't a dating relationship. I cleared up that we were friends.

I recall being in the corner of the sidewalk probably with a fire hydrant there. It was winter and we had gone to the sidewalk. I remember I was waiting for the school bus. Then for some reason the little girl about my age said something. I don't remember why I moved the backpack, but I thought it was light. She, the litlte girl started to weep. I was dumbfounded at what happened. The boys around me said to paraphrase: "why did you hit her?" My answer was simply it was a light backpack. I had no idea it was heavy. She was a neighbor and I could see see had gone to the front door of her house. The little girl said something similar to: "I will call my parents." I felt scared. Nothing happen though as the school bus came. They ignored her cries to try to punish me. I had no intention of harming her at that age. I don't recall my motivations. Time has erased some of that memory.

In a different memory in the same location, I had my first frostbite on one of my hands when it got wet with water during the winter. I didn't know what to do. So I went to the house. There my mother rinsed it in hot/warm water in the kitchen sink. This eased the pain I was feeling.

I also recall the last day when I left. Mother called us to kiss the house before leaving. Not knowing better and being innocent I did.

On one of the last days of school I recall being on the school bus. My best friend hugged me. I didn't know exactly. She had a smile on her face. In retrospect she had considered me a friend now that I can analyze the memory. She had waited for me at the bus stop.

On another day like any other kid I went to the park and rang the neighbor's bell on the house and ran.

I remember being in the mall. I was wowed by the Nintendo systems on display. I would ask silly things such to people such as did you kill the witch in a certain videogame? The monochrome gameboy display was gigantic. My brother and me on a different day in the same place were asked by my father whether to buy home alone or the jungle book the movie. We said home alone.


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## S J Ward (Oct 11, 2022)

Two years old trying to shoo a cat from my sister's pram. Then next, being pushed down a hill sitting on the edge of that same Silver Cross pram, mum letting go of the pram as we flew downhill, then the clatter of her stilettos as she tried to catch up with us.
Three, collecting bottle caps from my grandfather's pub.
Four, making a helicopter out of wood with my grandfather. Drinking a whole pint of homebred and getting drunk for the first time; fancy putting it in a lemonade bottle! It tasted great on a hot summer day!
Now, can't remember names nor what I had for dinner last night!


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## Llyralen (Oct 13, 2022)

Thank you guys!  It is so interesting to me to hear about people’s memories.  It sounds like the 2 out of 3 people in mh writer’s group might be the exception, not the rule, when it comes to their childhood memories.  This has been enjoyable and very helpful!


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## Matchu (Oct 13, 2022)

Looking at your original post - do you need to adapt the language, make the childhood recollections less sophisticated for the audience, the reading group, to immerse/suspend their disbelief?  Make a ‘thunking’ big disconnect in the choice of words, for example?  

Two, three, four years old is pretty ‘usual’ for recollection.  Audience tends to snigger tho when it turns to ‘at six months old I recall…’. that’s more of a comedic scene.. all best, see you


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## Llyralen (Oct 13, 2022)

Matchu said:


> Looking at your original post - do you need to adapt the language, make the childhood recollections less sophisticated for the audience, the reading group, to immerse/suspend their disbelief?  Make a ‘thunking’ big disconnect in the choice of words, for example?
> 
> Two, three, four years old is pretty ‘usual’ for recollection.  Audience tends to snigger tho when it turns to ‘at six months old I recall…’. that’s more of a comedic scene.. all best, see you


There was something that shocked the MC six year old that a person in my group thought the MC wouldn’t have understood at that age—- however I was basing it on a strong memory of my own from age 5. It’s actually just an incidental happening that could be taken out without much trouble, but it made me want to understand what many people think of when they think of childhood memories and why it would be implausible or alienating to some. I also found— like I said—that a few people think nothing could be interesting from the head of a child.  But this is not my personal experience at all. Children are often placed in horrible situations and catch-22s. Yes, this particular thing is the reason for the post.  But she is telling it from her teenage word choice and that is also clear— and was for some reason really important for my group to understand.  They kept asking about that. I am not brushing that off— I know the reader experience is different from the author experience and I just want to understand more and write it the best that I can. 

The legendary story my story is based on puts the MC at age 3,  and I thought it would give the story a bit more credibility to move her to age 5 or 6.  But this is also very interesting because what happens in the old legendary story later in her life (written down around the 1400’s in Iceland) is exactly what you’re saying. Her identity and memory are sneered at and questioned and we will actually never know and that is interesting.  

People don’t always give credibility to what people say happened at age 3 either— let alone 6 months. An audience questioning the nature of childhood memory is actually part of her story, part of how I need to write, but also it needs to be credible in the moment.  

This discussion makes me wonder if I should put the story back to age 3, but I want her to remember more of it in depth. So I think I’m sticking to my guns of age 5 or 6.  But I think this is actually one of the most fascinating parts of the story is that we will never know. 

After I first read it to my group, I looked up childhood memories being used in court and there was this very interesting investigation about a Catholic children’s school where the children were violently and sexually abused… and them cross-witnessing adults 40 years after.  It was fascinating.  It was interesting to hear the same event from different angles across time.  I think childhood memories themselves and also how an audience views childhood memories are interesting themes.  Sorry, I went off a bit…


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## Matchu (Oct 13, 2022)

I’d stick to your guns as far as recall at 3 or 4.  Then you have some ‘fun’ with the perspective.  My daddy was always the ‘hero’ but as years have passed I see he was a human being.  That enormous grey space is interesting to exploit on the page, unsaid even…


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## RGS (Oct 13, 2022)

I can remember things from twenty or more years ago like they were yesterday, yet forget things that literally happened yesterday. I think there's something in our brains that set a "bookmark" on certain events. Seriously. 

For example, when I remember these events, I have no clue what I was wearing, what I ate that day, what was on TV or the radio, etc... Just the key event.


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## CyberWar (Oct 14, 2022)

You people have done it! Now I'm feeling nostalgic for my childhood. 

It was hardly what one would call comfortable or safe these days - but it was mine. If only kids these days could do some of the crazy things that my generation used to do in the absence of smartphones, broadband internet, municipal police and overprotective parents...


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## BadHouses (Oct 15, 2022)

I can't put ages on a lot of memories, so they are usually labelled "single-digits" if they go back that far. 

One winter I recall pushing a chunk of ice with a stick on a pond near our house, the sticking slipping and me falling in, and being run back to the house by my mother. One of my boots fell off on the trail back. 

I had a memory of getting a Sega Genesis and playing Road Rash with my dad, only to realise that they have a photo of the exact scene in my head. I think the photo became a memory, and that's happened once or twice.


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## Matchu (Oct 15, 2022)

Y'see I have similar memories here: of winter, four years old, jumping or maybe falling into the icy puddles made all of  the 'big boys' laugh.  I believe the incident has great significance re character formation and re: : my subsequent trajectory of 'always being an a@@hole' [quote, father]


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## Foxee (Oct 15, 2022)

This has probably been touched on already (Matchu just did, kinda!) I've read that your earliest memory has significance for the overall tone of your life. My earliest memory is being bodily thrown into my crib as a punishment. Biting, maybe? Could have been. And getting into trouble because I had been 'painting' with my mom's mascara.

So, yeah, earliest memories were of me as a troublemaker. See? it's not true that you go on as you start, not true at all!


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## Arsenex (Oct 15, 2022)

Foxee said:


> This has probably been touched on already (Matchu just did, kinda!) I've read that your earliest memory has significance for the overall tone of your life. My earliest memory is being bodily thrown into my crib as a punishment. Biting, maybe? Could have been. And getting into trouble because I had been 'painting' with my mom's mascara.
> 
> So, yeah, earliest memories were of me as a troublemaker. See? it's not true that you go on as you start, not true at all!


Not sure how to interpret one of mine then. I was about three. My brother and I got tricycles for Christmas. They had been sitting out on the carport all night at below freezing temps. We both ran outside after our baths, buck naked, and hopped on our tricycles. My mom had to come out with a pan of warm water to get our heinies unstuck.


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## CyberWar (Oct 15, 2022)

The 90's which encompass most of my childhood were pretty rough times here in my parts. Poverty, unemployment, high crime, occasional gun battles between gangs in the streets. My family weren't among the worst-off, not by a long shot, but there were still times when we had to eat nothing but potatoes for a week or two on end, and a toy car worth the equivalent of two dollars was a special privilege that I had to be on my best behaviour for a month to earn. I remember the unbridled joy whenever mom bought me one, and kept my slowly growing collection of model cars on pristine display. I hoped to someday match the spectacular collection of the son of our downstairs neighbors, who was some 10 years my senior. His was an impressive collection from Soviet times featuring mostly cars and trucks of local make. These were proper models, meant for display rather than child's play like mine (my cars were the cheap die-cast variety). Of course, at the age of five, people generally aren't bothered by such trivialities.

With the given context, you can imagine my excitement when I got my very first Lego set on my fifth birthday. Mom had brought it from a work trip to Germany. It was one of those sets you could build multiple different things out of. The box came with a carrying handle like a bucket. The main thing you could build from it was a windmill. I still have it assembled and sitting on a shelf today. I also had an older construction set from the Soviet times (I think those were made in East Germany or Czechoslovakia). It was sturdier, but harder to disassemble, and with lots of sharp edges that were rough on little fingers. With that in mind, I had a special appreciation for the disassembly tool that came with the Lego set (looks and works somewhat like a bottle opener).

Another memory from that time that comes to mind is the occasion when a couple punks robbed a gas station not far from my hometown. In itself it wouldn't have been anything special, things like that happening daily, were it not for the unusual brutality. The news said the robbers had gunned down the cashier, a 19-year-old girl, the security guard and two patrons without warning or any questions asked (don't remember how many survived, just that the girl didn't). The National Guard, which at the time served as more of a paramilitary police force than a military reserve, was promptly raised to catch the scumbags. I remember being in a car with mom and grandma when we were pulled over and searched by a military checkpoint on the main road to our town. Mom and grandma seemed pretty scared, even debating what to do, because criminals at the time would also occasionally don military uniforms and set up fake checkpoints to hold people up or kidnap them for ransom. I was more curious about the soldiers and their guns, who looked intimidating and at the same time fascinating. In hindsight, I'm thankful that mom didn't take any rash actions like trying to run the checkpoint. I later saw on TV the aftermath of a fearful woman trying to run a legit checkpoint in an unrelated incident. Mind it, this was a time when it hadn't yet occurred to our TV companies to blur out the gnarly stuff that might offend the eyes of children and the more sensitive adults. I had nightmares for days after, but at the same time, I kinda wanted to see them again for the thrill of being scared. I recall that occasion was a pretty big scandal that people talked about for several weeks. Rough and trigger-happy as the National Guard of those days were, shooting innocent civilians even by accident was still a very big deal that wasn't taken lightly.

My family lived on the third floor. Our stairwell always reeked of piss because some crafty entrepreneur had set up a dive bar right across the yard, and the drunkards frequenting the place deemed our stairwell the nearest convenient place to relieve themselves in relative privacy. Why didn't they use the bushes along the way, don't ask me. This eventually ceased when the son of our downstairs neighbors rigged the corner the drunkards used with two well-hidden live electric wires. Some of them must have gone home pissing lightning well into the next week. The two neighbors we had on the same floor was an older lady who lived with her grandson, and a petty criminal who kept a drug den in his flat. The lady neighbor I remember mostly for setting fire to her door, intended as a prank for her grandson. After she complained, mom took a prompt disciplinary action. Let's just say that my ass looked like Union Jack for a week or two in result. The criminal didn't bother his neighbors, and if anything, was a rather polite and quiet guy. I remember him mostly because I liked his dog who seemed friendly whenever we met in the stairs when he was taking it for a walk. His buddies/clients who visited his flat were a more rowdy bunch. One guy was murdered in our stairs, his brains being blown all over the wall on the floor below. I saw it when I  was going to the store with my grandma in the morning. She told me not to look, but I did anyway. In hindsight, I pity whoever had to clean it all up later. On another occasion, one of our neighbor's customers OD'ed and kicked the bucket at the same spot. I had to step over the stiff on my way to school in the morning. The relations with the drug-dealing neighbor somewhat soured after he started to steal electricity from us, his own apparently being cut off for non-payment. Then one day he was just gone, probably arrested because his apartment was sealed with a police seal. I remember I kept wondering for a long time what became of his dog. Funny thing is, I never bothered to ask for its name, and just called it Jackal because that was how jackals were supposed to look in my mind (i.e., not even close to the real thing).


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## indianroads (Oct 15, 2022)

I remember being unable to walk and laying on a blanket outside on the lawn while my mother pushed around a mower.
I remember climbing out of my crib in the middle of the night and wandering through the house... then eventually falling asleep in the hall.
I remember riding, sandwiched between my parents on their motorcycle.


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## Taylor (Oct 15, 2022)

Foxee said:


> This has probably been touched on already (Matchu just did, kinda!) I've read that your earliest memory has significance for the overall tone of your life.


Perhaps my earliest memory because it was traumatic, flying across the living room.  My sister put me into her doll-buggy, and I tried to stand up which caused it to tip, not being safety-tested for a real child and all. I would have been pretty small as I still fit into a doll-buggy.

But after that, was at three.  I remember my parents putting little skis on me and sending me down a snowy hill.

Funny thing, I have a hard time trusting people ... lol!


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## Taylor (Oct 15, 2022)

Llyralen said:


> I’m writing a novel (and yes, I think it has to be this way) where a 13 year old talks about being kidnapped at age 6.  It is told like a story/flashback.  She talks us through her memories of her father who was killed.
> 
> There is something fairy-story-like about the way she tells it that is actually good for the whole story and the genre in my opinion, as her memories and identity will get questioned through out her life.


I just remembered reading _The Memory Collecto_r, by Fiona Harper.  It starts off with one of the best prologues I've ever read, that's a cloudy memory, and she finds out late in the book what actually happened to her.  That incident had a great effect on her life, and she doesn't remember why she has the memory, but it's linked to a similar trauma. 

It would be a good one for inspiration.


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## Taylor (Oct 15, 2022)

Theglasshouse said:


> The past can also create false memories, so I don't know if it is real. We tend to forget so much and that is why I am so unsure.


So true!  My sister and I are five years apart, and total opposite MBTIs.  I'm an INTJ and she is an ESFP.  Needless to say, we have very different memories of events, and also the feelings we derived from them.  Some things that she remembers as being wonderful and happy, I remember as being annoying and stupid.  She often accounts things that were said or done during these events, that I have no recollection of at all.  I thought she was re-inventing history to make herself look good ... lol! But I mentioned it to a phycologist, who said, it's perfectly normal for siblings to have very different memories of the same thing.

I'd even go so far as to say, that if we both wrote our childhood memoirs, you would not recognize they are one and the same.


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