# Un Papillon



## Chaseanthemum (Jan 20, 2016)

Rough
is the little one's burden,
wondering if his life is worth it.
Try
as he must to find his purpose,
he often ponders
if he can do this.

Ultimately,
he finds that all is lost
as he crawls into his makeshift coffin.
Spinning,
squirming, he sees nothing at all
for he slumbers eternally.

Just when it seems that things are most dark,
he struggles from his grave
and emerges a creature
of beauty.

Tiny
are the seeds buried
that sprout the sweetest fruit.
​


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## Firemajic (Jan 21, 2016)

Chase.. I completely love this poem... The message is sublime.. a small seed of hope lingers and can flourish, even in the darkest time...You have not posted a poem in a while Chase, and I am thrilled that you are still writing your fabulous poetry.. Thank you for sharing...


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## Chaseanthemum (Jan 21, 2016)

Ah, thank you Fire  It was actually Daniel-san (danielstj) who persuaded me to come back! 

About this piece, I've always found that the story of the caterpillar was analogous to the emotional cycle of a human. When it seems that things are their darkest, you are actually a seed and have just been planted, eager to grow up and flaunt your elegant leaves and unwavering trunk. Similar to the butterfly. Just when it seemed that all was lost, the once insignificant creature emerges from its chrysalis as one of nature's staples of beauty.

*Un Papillon means butterfly in french


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## Firemajic (Jan 21, 2016)

Yes, the butterfly is a beautiful metaphor for change, hope and life.. fabulous job Chase! I am very glad Daniel persuaded you to return.. you were missed...


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## inkwellness (Jan 21, 2016)

A butterfly? Yes, that makes sense. This is a lovely poem Chase.

To me, it rings of hope and promise for tomorrow, no matter how dark yesterday was.

Well-written!


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## ned (Jan 21, 2016)

hello - enjoyed your butterfly poem

the first verses ascribe the caterpillar with human considerations - which doesn't really work for me
in a poem like this - it's better to be honest, and put it down to instinct etc.

not sure about the process being analogeous to darkness and death - although I see your point.
it is more about change then anything else.

slumbers eternally - apparently not.

and emerges a creature of beauty - too literal and obvious.

the ending is a bit of a vague generalisation - and doesn't really ring true, to me.

thanks for sharing
Ned


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## Nellie (Jan 21, 2016)

From a caterpillar to a butterfly does create hope plus beauty. As a kid, we used to capture caterpillars so we could watch them transform into a butterfly. I loved butterflies as a kid. They're beautiful. 

This poem does speak to me. When one is really down and out, they can change to improve their situation---fly like a butterfly.

Thanks for letting us see your work.


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## Chaseanthemum (Jan 22, 2016)

ned said:


> hello - enjoyed your butterfly poem
> 
> the first verses ascribe the caterpillar with human considerations



That's the metaphor. The caterpillar to humans appears to be nothing more than an insignificant larva.



ned said:


> slumbers eternally - apparently not.



It would seem to the caterpillar that its slumber would be eternal, though I see what you mean. 



ned said:


> and emerges a creature of beauty - too literal and obvious.



What would you suggest as a revision? I felt that the linearity of this line is what gives it power. Of course we know that caterpillars become butterflies through metamorphosis, but through the eyes of a creature who once felt like an insignificant, worthless, little worm, this would come as a pleasant surprise.



ned said:


> the ending is a bit of a vague generalisation - and doesn't really ring true, to me.



Personally, I've been through many dark patches of self-doubt and loathing. The image of me at those moments being a seed that had just been planted, gives me hope as it reminds me of the promise that there will be brighter days whether or not I believe it.

Nevertheless, thanks for your comments. They help me realize where I can improve on my writing to help resonate with a larger audience.


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## JP-Clyde (Jan 22, 2016)

Very nicely done. I believe your diction is great, your word choice is nice. And I like vague endings sometimes. Poetry is always about what the readers take out of a piece and I think you have just done that. Now is the poem my cup of tea, no. But I can appreciate your technique. I look forward to reading more of your work.


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