# Thrill of the Kill



## Firemajic (Jan 13, 2015)

The wolves of persecution
are hot on my trail
baying with blood lust
waiting for me to fail

On and on I race
through the destruction of my life
the wolves relentless and eager
excited by my plight

The pack gaining ground
I can't go much longer
they can smell my terror
it only makes them stronger

The wolves are mistakes I've made
they will never let me get away
waiting patiently to bring me down
to devour me as prey

One moment of hesitation
then they will move in for the kill
not because of hunger
just hungry for the thrill


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## QDOS (Jan 13, 2015)

Neat and expressive, runs well, but third stanza I’d suggest dropping the _on_ in line two and the _and_ in the fourth. Fourth stanza - _'to devour_ _me as prey_'. The very last line _hungry_ I assume not the country. 

QDOS


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## Firemajic (Jan 13, 2015)

Sharp eye QDOS , thank you. I made the changes you suggested and it reads much better. Thank you for reading my poem.  Peace always...Julia


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## rcallaci (Jan 13, 2015)

Julia

Love this- the wolves  in your piece are the modern day Furies- And like furies they will torment and destroy you (the subject of the piece) for your crimes against the natural order of things. I felt my blood turning to ice as i heard their howls - I felt my insides turning to mush-- I feel their bloodlust .... 

Great stuff a modern day Greek poem- the technical aspect was superb - smooth 

my warmest
bob


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## Nellie (Jan 13, 2015)

Julia,

I, too, like the way you describe the "wolves of prosecution". The wolves being your mistakes that come back and torment you just for their joyful thrill of execution. Very haunting.


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## Firemajic (Jan 13, 2015)

rcallaci--Modern day furies.. I love that, and I love that you read and commented on my poem. Your reply was quite lyrical.. Thank you my friend.  Peace always...Julia

Nellie--I knew you would understand. Thank you for reading my friend.  Peace always... Julia


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## jenthepen (Jan 13, 2015)

Super poem, Julia. Everyone has already said everything I wanted to say but I'll still say it anyway :biggrin:

You have a real talent for creating poems with a chilling nightmarish quality. To manage this effect with such regular and smooth rhymes is amazing. In short, I loved it.

jen


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## Firemajic (Jan 13, 2015)

Hahaaa, jen, I am a dark twisted soul...I think I wrote this because I was feeling sorry for my self. [lol]I am a drama Queen! Thanks for reading my poem.  Peace always...Julia


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## Pidgeon84 (Jan 13, 2015)

I really connected to this. Beautifully done


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## Firemajic (Jan 14, 2015)

Thanks Pidgeon, I am pleased that you connected  with this poem, but sorry if you ever felt this way...Thank you for reading my poem.    Peace always... Julia


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## Boofy (Jan 14, 2015)

Ah Julia, this poem is quite unnerving! It's just so emotive. I really felt quite fearful, I sympathise with that kind of pressure. The weight of failure as you feel yourself flagging. Very moving. Thanks for sharing it ^^


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## Firemajic (Jan 14, 2015)

Boofy--I am glad you understood the underlying emotion, Thank you for reading my poem.  Peace always...Julia


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## Converse (Jan 14, 2015)

It's a good post, though I personally always flinch when wolves are used negatively [its just they're such a scapegoat species]. 


However, there's something about stanza 2 that is throwing me off. I actually read this three times & chose to not comment the other two. 

Maybe it's just my silly brain looking at it from too analytical a mindset.


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## Firemajic (Jan 14, 2015)

Converse--any suggestions will be appreciated, I am here to learn. Thank you for your comments and thank you for reading my poem.  Peace always... Julia


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## Blade (Jan 14, 2015)

I enjoyed the piece although there was one spot that I stumble on a little.



			
				Converse said:
			
		

> However, there's something about stanza 2 that is throwing me off.



For me "alien landscape night" is really a headfull. It seems to me to stand distinct from the rest of the poem.

Good work.:snowman:


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## Nellie (Jan 14, 2015)

Converse said:


> It's a good post, though I personally always flinch when wolves are used negatively [its just they're such a scapegoat species].


 So maybe Julia should  "Dance with Wolves" instead?!


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## Firemajic (Jan 14, 2015)

Blade--Thank you for your comments. I removed the " Alien landscape night" and replaced it with "Blue twilight"--hope that does not sound cliche...any way thank you for reading my poem.

Nellie--hhaaaha! You are witty...and clever. Peace always...Julia


I removed "blue twilight" and replaced it with "destruction of my life".


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## blindnirvana (Jan 15, 2015)

I think Nellie's comment about "wolves of persecution" was really what hit me about this poem as well. I think it's beautifully written  . Clean, smooth, intense and thrilling. The use of the wolf to represent the haunting terror really translated fluidly.

Really loved this one.


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## Converse (Jan 15, 2015)

Nellie said:


> So maybe Julia should  "Dance with Wolves" instead?!



We are allowed our options are we not. Or is the forum like Turkey & Charlie? My uncle works for National Geographic spending 2 years photographing them in Europe. People are painfully ignorant about wolves - sorry. They've killed 30 people in 100 years; dogs kill 200+ per year. Coyotes kill 5 to 7 times the amount of livestock. Ignorance. 





As for *Dances with Wolves. *... Sure only if she wants to be shot in the ass by the Panwee Indians.


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## Firemajic (Jan 15, 2015)

I could change the Wolves to dogs...that would also work...I love wolves and am thrilled that they are recovering from their own persecution...

And I do Not wish to be shot in the ass !!!!  lol


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## Nellie (Jan 15, 2015)

Converse said:


> We are allowed our options are we not. Or is the forum like Turkey & Charlie? My uncle works for National Geographic spending 2 years photographing them in Europe. People are painfully ignorant about wolves - sorry. They've killed 30 people in 100 years; dogs kill 200+ per year. Coyotes kill 5 to 7 times the amount of livestock. Ignorance.



Sure, we are allowed options & opinions. Your uncle was a photographer in Europe. What about the U.S.? Here in Colorado, wolves do reside high in the Rockies. I've even seen some down here in the city, so do coyotes. They're in the same category.





Converse said:


> As for *Dances with Wolves. *... Sure only if she wants to be shot in the ass by the Panwee Indians.



In the book by the same name, they're Dakota Indians, but because it's a "Hollywood thing", they make it look like the Pawnee Indians did it. BTW, my daughter is married to a Native American of the "Dakota" tribe.


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## Firemajic (Jan 15, 2015)

blindnirvana said:


> I think Nellie's comment about "wolves of persecution" was really what hit me about this poem as well. I think it's beautifully written  . Clean, smooth, intense and thrilling. The use of the wolf to represent the haunting terror really translated fluidly.
> 
> Really loved this one.





Thank you for your kind comments, I am so glad you liked it. Thank you for reading my poem.  Peace always.... Julia


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## escorial (Jan 17, 2015)

_animal instinct mixed with human emotions...yeah_


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## Firemajic (Jan 18, 2015)

Escorial---cheers to the beast that resides in us all...Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. Peace always my friend, Jul


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## tundrawolf (Jan 31, 2015)

Whoa, whoa, whoa. 

Wait just a minute.

Wolves of persecution?

*Starts to cry*

Totally kidding. I actually really do love this poem. There isn't anything I could find wrong with it, the words fit so well, it's just... awesome. 

When I was younger I was shown and taught the wrong way to go about just everything in life. I struggled with what was right, what was wrong, and my own interactions with humanity. 

Now that I am older, I realize that all of those looming giants that smelled like death, that I set aside and forgot about, are just waiting to seize an opportunity of weakness and present their old, tired ragged problems all over again. Showing me that I must re- face them all over again, until they are finally vanquished forever. 

But in facing them I must let a part of me die, a part of me that I relied on, held on to, but knew little of the Truth. That is always painful, and frightening, fear and agony that must be endured while swinging a little sword at giants that do not seem to die.

I feel your pain, your frustration in your words. More than that, your exasperation.


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