# Ungrateful Dead



## Firemajic (Nov 15, 2015)

So, now what..
is this what you expected
or just loneliness rejected
this IS what you sought
a losing battle I fought
did you find yourself
when you lost me?

So, now what..
dead man walking
weeping haunted eyes talking
begging me to love you again
anxious eyes, death's head grin
did you lose yourself
when I found me?


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## escorial (Nov 15, 2015)

introspective....revealing...it's all these things...you are the words you use...


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## Firemajic (Nov 15, 2015)

hahaa... yes I am... thank you for your fabulous comment... love you bunches...


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## inkwellness (Nov 15, 2015)

This is a great poem. The title sounds like a play on words. Might I suggest a comma in the third line of the first stanza after loneliness. This might help to clarify the meaning. (If that's the meaning you're going for) Otherwise,  it sounds like someone trying to reject loneliness. Also, the 5th line of the 2nd stanza is a bit busy. Might I suggest another comma to help clarify meaning. But, I could be wrong. Otherwise,  a very cool poem. Thanks for posting.


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## Doc Martin (Nov 15, 2015)

I can't stop reading this and have no input except, wow, a great piece.


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## Josh Colon (Nov 15, 2015)

I can't decide if I like this or not.  Deep.

I get the impression that 'somebody' realized they were dating Mr. Wrong . . . and kicked him to the curb.
Now Mr. Wrong is lonely and lost.

Would poignant be the right word?
Josh.


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## Mariana (Nov 15, 2015)

Very nice. I especially like how one finding themselves comes at the expense of losing the other and vice versa. It’s as though there is no way for either of them to be “whole” while with each other.


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## Firemajic (Nov 16, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> *So, now what..
> is this what you expected
> or just loneliness rejected * she is asking him if he wants her back because he is lonely*
> this IS what you sought* He wanted the relationship to end
> ...




Inkwellness.. hope this clears up what I was trying to say.. I added the comma where you suggested and I think it does help.. Thank you for reading..

Doc.. lol.. I am so glad you enjoyed this poem! Thank you for commenting, it is appreciated..

Josh.. yeah, when I wrote this, it sounded ok at the time, but I can see how it is confusing.. haaha.. {he wanted out of the relationship, she fought like hell to keep him, then he wanted her back, but she realized she really was better without him... something like that..}


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## Firemajic (Nov 16, 2015)

Mariana said:


> Very nice. I especially like how one finding themselves comes at the expense of losing the other and vice versa. It’s as though there is no way for either of them to be “whole” while with each other.




Right! This is a paradox... he thought he wanted to be without her. She wanted to stay. Then he wants her back, but she realizes that losing him was the best thing that EVER happened to her.. funny really.. fighting like hell for someone / then losing them, then realizing that it all worked out.. But for him..hahaaa.. not sooo much! Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting.. Welcome to the fabulous poetry thread!


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## Sonata (Nov 16, 2015)

Wording it a slightly different way is, in a way, like my marriage.  I fought like hell to be with him but then realised I would be better without him.  He wanted me to stay but I left and he still wanted me back and he fought like hell for me to return.

Only the best thing was actually leaving and I never went back.


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## Firemajic (Nov 16, 2015)

You said it so well Sonata! That's why I titled this "Ungrateful Dead".. She gave him exactly what he asked for.. but it was not what he wanted... something like that... Thank you for understanding..


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## inkwellness (Nov 16, 2015)

Firemajic, 
Thank you for elaborating. It was a complex piece of poetry and I believe that you did an exceptional job here. Thanks for sharing it with us.


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## Sonata (Nov 16, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> You said it so well Sonata! That's why I titled this "Ungrateful Dead".. She gave him exactly what he asked for.. but it was not what he wanted... something like that... Thank you for understanding..



Cliché or not - a person has to understand to understand.  And I just understood because to me your words were so clear and so descriptive of what you were saying.  Thank you for this poem - it made so much sense to me.


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## Nellie (Nov 16, 2015)

Thanks for sharing Firemajic. IMO, I see it from Sonata's POV. That makes sense to me. As always, your words of Fire become magical, setting the world right.


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## Firemajic (Nov 16, 2015)

Right.. I get that.. Nellie, your comment is majical and I love you bunches... Thank you!!


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## Mariana (Nov 16, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> Right! This is a paradox... he thought he wanted to be without her. She wanted to stay. Then he wants her back, but she realizes that losing him was the best thing that EVER happened to her.. funny really.. fighting like hell for someone / then losing them, then realizing that it all worked out.. But for him..hahaaa.. not sooo much! Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting.. Welcome to the fabulous poetry thread!



Thanks for the welcome . Heh and yeah, this kind of thing seems to happen a lot in the kind of relationship were “two halves make a whole” (i.e. super romantic but unhealthy ones). When they’re together they feel like the other person fills a void in them, when alone they might be able to learn how to fill that void by themselves (the healthier alternative) and when they do, being with a “half person” not only doesn’t help anymore it’s now a handicap, especially when that was what their relationship had been based on. I hear they now say it takes “two wholes to make a whole”).


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## Firemajic (Nov 18, 2015)

Mariana.. haha.. yeah.. I got it.. Thank you for your charming comment!


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## Bard_Daniel (Nov 19, 2015)

Very revealing. Also, very good.

Nice!


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