# Can Waking Up Be Written In a 'Readable' Way?



## BeastlyBeast (Jan 1, 2014)

Hi, guys! I am starting the work on my first novel, but I just want to know, first... do you think that there is a way to write about someone getting out of bed in a way that still keeps you enticed? I tried writing a novel that started with getting out of bed a few months ago, because it was the only way I could picture the story beginning, but I posted an excerpt and someone wrote that they thought the 'waking out of bed scene' was uninteresting, a bit cliche and, if nothing else, unneeded. Do you have any tips on writing a scene where people have just gotten up? I am starting the novel with a teenage boy waking up and slowly stumbling out of bed and into the hallway, when he overhears his father talking on the phone, in a rather depressed tone. That's kinda how I want the beginning of the story's vibe to be - depressing or tragic. Thank you so much!


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## Outiboros (Jan 1, 2014)

There's a stigma on stories beginning with a character waking up. I'm not entirely sure if it's deserved, but it's there; stories seem to gravitate towards beginning with waking, perhaps because they are easier to write. There is no situation to be explained: the character was in bed. There is an action and an environment now, but there wasn't one just then, as the character was sleeping.

My advice would be to get it over with as swiftly as possible. A wake up scene can be well-written, but even if it isn't, a short, bad scene won't destroy your book. If nothing works, try and find a different scene to begin your story on - one more gripping than someone climbing out of bed.

Only in reading this I noticed my own story begins with a waking. I don't know if it's helpful in any way, but here you go, the first handful of lines:
--
The alarm clock’s blue light blinked. No beeping – that might wake the others. 02:00. Time to rise.
The Doctor was awake in a moment. There hadn’t been any sleep in that wide-eyed night, but if there had been any doubt, that too was gone. It had to be done. For the others that might follow. No more Goldenthal.
The concrete floor of the subterranean complex was cold. It always was, even without bare feet. No time for slippers.
The Doctor rearranged the sheets of the bed, opened and closed the door with not even a whisper. The hallway wasn’t any warmer, but the Doctor moved on. Cold and dark – perfect. No sign of the engineering crew or the team, not even of security. This deep down, there was nowhere to go, anyway. If there had been someone the alibi would be sleepwalking – not impossible, roaming the halls in only plain grey pyjamas. But the Doctor roamed with a purpose.
--


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## Sam (Jan 1, 2014)

The stigma isn't about waking up. It's about the fact that waking up is predominately boring and uneventful. If it segues into morning-after conversations, it becomes trivially boring and uneventful. At least it does for me. Consider the scene amped up to the maximum. Imagine a character waking up in a hotel room, hands and legs cuffed together but not to the bed, and the sheets stained with blood. Now make it clear that that character has no recollection of how s/he got there. I find than much more enticing that the prosaic waking up that we all do thousands of times in our life. 

Anything can be done in writing. The great authors find a way of making it interesting -- and therein lies the difference.


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## Gavrushka (Jan 1, 2014)

I'd never considered the waking up procedure as a chore, or something that could be struggled with. Waking is a delightful transition from one world to another, and I enjoy those moments where the character shrugs off the last vestiges of sleep and welcomes a new day.

I remember, a few years ago, the first waking scene I wrote. A couple of memorable events had happened the night before, and the protagonist lay there and tried to sift through the confused bundle of thoughts that he was unsure had occurred, or whether he'd dreamt them. Acceptance that all his thoughts belonged in the reality pile made for an interesting read, and that carried through a couple of pages, as I remember.

What I am saying is that if you're starting with waking one morning, perhaps you could jot down a few notes of back story for your protagonist to draw from as he wakes. Let the subtle transition from sleep to wake include a vestige of a dream. Let him have slept awkwardly, and his arm is dead, and he's forced to stumble out of bed carrying it like some recently deceased Siamese twin.


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## Kevin (Jan 1, 2014)

Waking scene? In the past I have used it, but now I would tell myself not to start it that way, that it's a noob move. If I felt strong enough about it I might ask myself how I could change it, make it not so obvious, maybe place it further into the story, something, but still, I would be reluctant.


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## J Anfinson (Jan 1, 2014)

Whether they're getting out of bed or opening a car door, it doesn't matter. As long as there's something that happens quickly to get the reader interested and whatever that may be is the best way you know to tell the story, then there's nothing wrong with doing it that way. If you're writing that scene just to show the character's daily routine, then that's boring and the reader won't care.


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## Dictarium (Jan 1, 2014)

There's a long and drawn out description of the action of waking up and then there's "he got up, stretched, and looked around him" and then describing the setting vividly which I think is one million times better.


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## BeastlyBeast (Jan 1, 2014)

Dictarium said:


> There's a long and drawn out description of the action of waking up and then there's "he got up, stretched, and looked around him" and then describing the setting vividly which I think is one million times better.



LOL! That's funny, because I believe the person said it was unnecessary and I WAS descriptive.  Oh, well. I guess it's a 'you can't please anyone' kind of thing. The general rule, anyway, seems to be: If you must add a waking up scene, make it snappy.


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## J Anfinson (Jan 1, 2014)

Let me give an example of what I was talking about earlier. This is from a project of mine that fizzled out, but I hope to return to once I get it figured out.



> I was startled awake by my alarm clock blaring in my ear. Someone had moved it off the nightstand and laid it next to my head during the night. I knew right away who had done it, and if he weren't already dead, I'd have killed him.



An ordinary situation turned interesting very quickly.


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## Staff Deployment (Jan 1, 2014)

Like most days this week, I woke up with my neck sore and my thumb broken. I'd slept under the bed again. This time something was different ... my cell-phone (out of batteries) was blaring some rock song and vibrating against my ankle. I picked it up. It was my dad. "Your mother went and killed someone," he said. "We have to clean it up." His voice was tired.


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## Dictarium (Jan 1, 2014)

BeastlyBeast said:


> LOL! That's funny, because I believe the person said it was unnecessary and I WAS descriptive.  Oh, well. I guess it's a 'you can't please anyone' kind of thing. The general rule, anyway, seems to be: If you must add a waking up scene, make it snappy.


Also, to be honest, I know it may surprise you to hear this, but I am not the almighty authority on writing. Whoever said that could very well be right.


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## Morkonan (Jan 2, 2014)

BeastlyBeast said:


> Hi, guys! I am starting the work on my first novel, but I just want to know, first... do you think that there is a way to write about someone getting out of bed in a way that still keeps you enticed? ...



What's the PoV? If it's First Person, it's easy. Just write the "experience" of waking up, if you must include it. It will be disjointed, nonsensical, foggy, incomplete, sporadically understood imaginings until the moment of revelation "I'm awake." Then, it's butt-scratching, a few coughs, a few half-heard syllables through the wall, some cold water, toothpaste, a recollection that those half-heard syllables sounded like someone mentioning your name.. a walk back to the hall, listening through the door, etc..


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## Kyle R (Jan 3, 2014)

BeastlyBeast said:


> Hi, guys! I am starting the work on my first novel, but I just want to know, first... do you think that there is a way to write about someone getting out of bed in a way that still keeps you enticed? I tried writing a novel that started with getting out of bed a few months ago, because it was the only way I could picture the story beginning, but I posted an excerpt and someone wrote that they thought the 'waking out of bed scene' was uninteresting, a bit cliche and, if nothing else, unneeded. Do you have any tips on writing a scene where people have just gotten up? I am starting the novel with a teenage boy waking up and slowly stumbling out of bed and into the hallway, when he overhears his father talking on the phone, in a rather depressed tone. That's kinda how I want the beginning of the story's vibe to be - depressing or tragic. Thank you so much!



If the point of the scene is for your protagonist to overhear his father talking on the phone in a depressed tone, then the "waking up" is something you can summarize and skim over as quickly as possible, as it's really just something that turns out to be inconsequential.

_When Carl slumped out of bed Saturday morning, the first thing he heard was his father groaning into the kitchen phone.
_
Boom. The "waking up and getting out of bed" is accomplished (within eight words, mind you!) and now the scene is in motion, moving toward the actual conflict. One sentence and the story is up and running.

One piece of advice I picked up a few years ago that has stuck with me since is the expression: "When in doubt, start with a moment of change."

What makes a scene interesting is conflict. What makes a scene uninteresting (or slow) is a lack of conflict.

The sooner you get to it, the quicker you hook your reader. Unless getting out of bed involves a lot of conflict, it's probably something you can condense into a few words, or possibly skip altogether. :encouragement:


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## Greimour (Jan 3, 2014)

I agree with Sam on this. "the fact that waking up is predominately boring and uneventful."

There are ways to start with scenes of "waking" that are eventful... describing them in a way that hooks a reader is difficult but not impossible. Mostly, it comes down to how much action is there from the word go. Did the protagonist wake up to a loud noise? Did the protagonist immediately fall out of bed or bang their head on the bunk above? How important is it that it starts with that scene?

Staff Deployments example is a pretty good way to go about it...

I started MANY stories with the sleeping scene... though I wont go into detail about the why's and so forth, there is something I did with pretty much every one of those stories. Which is as follows:

*Blank page opened on desktop and I begin typing*
1. Protagonist wakes up in bed.
2. The day unfolds.
3. The first scene happens that gets the story going properly.
4. Continues writing until I need a break, such as a caffeine intake or a fresh smoke such as a clichéd author should be.
5. upon returning to the computer, I immediately copy actions 1 and 2, paste onto a new document, save it and delete it from the current story being worked on.
6. With the story now beginning with an action scene and not waking up in bed, i read the story without much editing (if any editing) and proceed to continue the writing from where I left off.


I find that all stories have a huge back story... it's rarely necessary, but I write it anyway... because the past matters. Maybe not to the reader, but it matters to me. The characters are alive and have a life that did not begin at the moment the story started... it began at their birth, it made each character different and made them real.. made them who they are. As the writer, thats important information to me.. but for a reader, those things can be discovered later.

There is one book that comes to mind that started with fast paced action. Within a few paragraphs I immediately understood their level of panic, how much danger they were in, who was the leader ... AND... Before the scene I was reading actually began, they had all been sleeping around a campfire. It actually started with a man dodging a swipe from a huge axe, his bare feet slipping in the mud. Bare feet, lack of clothes, sword too far from reach etc... all explained by the fact they had been sleeping moments earlier. It was a good start and had me hooked instantly.

So. They didnt start with the waking up, the snap of twigs or an alarm... it started with the action that immediately followed all those things. It was great.


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## Terry D (Jan 3, 2014)

The problem with starting at a wake up is that your story probably doesn't start there. Your story starts with the phone call after breakfast, or when the cops come busting through the door, or when the alien virus carrying meteor comes streaking through the sky. Many new writers are hesitant to jump into the middle of the true beginning, preferring instead to ease into the action. Most readers, on the other hand, love to start in the middle of things.

Now, if your character wakes up _because_ that meteor crashes through his roof--go for it.


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## Robdemanc (Jan 3, 2014)

Isn't there a term for such writing?  I think they are called lead on scenes.  They are bits of a scene that need chopping off because they are boring and only lead up to the action.  Writing about a character getting out of bed is likely to be a lead on scene.  

It would be ok if the getting out of bed was important to understanding the situation.  An example might be:

John woke up and didn't recognize the room or the bed he was lying in.  In fact he remembers nothing....

This could be the start of a scene where John has to remember who he is and what happened to him.  If he was in a sci fi thriller and had had his memory erased it may be acceptable to write about this moment of waking up.


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## Justin Rocket (Jan 3, 2014)

I woke up.
It was 8:30, Thursday, November 8th.
Which was odd.


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## BeastlyBeast (Jan 3, 2014)

Ok... I just started with the book earlier today. This is what I have... Do you think this deals with it shortly enough?

​It was Sunday, 7:45 in the morning. Young Derek Moore slapped his alarm clock's 'Off' button and forced himself out of bed. As he slowly stumbled down the hallway to head for the shower, he overheard his father, Curtis, using the kitchen phone for a conference call. With a depressed tone, he said: “Remember to be at the cemetery by 9:30, sharp. and remember; no in-laws, please.”


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## J Anfinson (Jan 3, 2014)

I think it's certainly possible that could work, but to get the best possible feedback you might think about reaching 10 posts and putting the entire opening scene in the Prose Writers Workshop. That way you could get critique and someone might be able to suggest an even better opening once they've gotten a better idea of what's going on in the story. Just a suggestion.


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## Justin Rocket (Jan 3, 2014)

BeastlyBeast said:


> Ok... I just started with the book earlier today. This is what I have... Do you think this deals with it shortly enough?
> 
> ​It was Sunday, 7:45 in the morning. Young Derek Moore slapped his alarm clock's 'Off' button and forced himself out of bed. As he slowly stumbled down the hallway to head for the shower, he overheard his father, Curtis, using the kitchen phone for a conference call. With a depressed tone, he said: “Remember to be at the cemetery by 9:30, sharp. and remember; no in-laws, please.”



While it is not my style (I like to start with a bang), I believe it can work for some genres.


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## Terry D (Jan 4, 2014)

Here's how I handled the opening wake-up dilemma for my short story, _In the Memory of Stones;_

"Get your raggedy ass out of bed, boy!"  His father's voice jolted Timmy Mason from sleep like a gunshot.

Timmy jerked up, tossing back sweat soaked sheets, "Comin' Dad!"  But Timmy was alone -- as always.  He fell back onto his pillow and rubbed sweat from his eyes with the heels of his hands, his heart pounding in is chest.  He looked at the clock on his dresser -- 3:15.

"Aw, crap," he groaned.  "Screw you, Dad."  Timmy's voice was swallowed by the darkness.  There were no ears to hear it.

Big Tim Mason never let him rest.  Not in the eight years they shared the same house, not in the twenty-two while Big Tim was locked away up on Chappelworth Ridge, and not in the five since Big Tim had died.  "Screw you," he repeated as he stood up and slipped into his robe.


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## Kuro (Jan 4, 2014)

I actually started a story I'm writing right now with such a scene. Judging by what more experienced writers here are saying, I'm now wondering if that was a good idea or not.

There are exceptions to every rule, however. So I'm sure it can work.


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## TheYellowMustang (Jan 6, 2014)

Outiboros said:


> There's a stigma on stories beginning with a character waking up. I'm not entirely sure if it's deserved, but it's there; stories seem to gravitate towards beginning with waking, perhaps because they are easier to write. There is no situation to be explained: the character was in bed. There is an action and an environment now, but there wasn't one just then, as the character was sleeping.



Ah, I know... I'm writing a story where sleep is a very important aspect (long story short: a girl who used to live in the MC's house - her soul is kind of stuck on earth in her doppelgänger, which forces her memory/ghost to live on in her former house. So his dreams become her memories, and her memories are very important to the plot). Since dreams are so important to the story, I thought a nice symbolic way to start it would be with him waking up. And then someone told me it was a big no-no. The whole story ends with him falling asleep actually, now that I think about it. You know what? I'm feeling stubborn. I'm keeping it.

I'm also keeping some of my -ly words. \\/


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## The narrator (Jan 6, 2014)

It depends how imaginative you are when it comes to scenes like this. For me I like to think that there is really no limit to what can be accomplished when it comes to writing. Here is how I would open a story like this:
The warm rays of the sun penetrate the fibers of curtain to lift the dark pith blackness of night. An onslaught of ringing pulls the sleeping man from the solitude of his dream world and back into reality. The man fights the strain in his body as he pulls himself from the warm sheets and into the pending shock of the cool room temperature.
He sits on the bed in hopes that he will quickly recover from the after effects of last night’s rest, the alarm relentlessly feels the atmosphere with terrible noise pollution. The man looks to the alarm clock recognizing that he must end the infernal beeping. With his right hand he sweeps the alarm clock sending it soring across the room and smashing agents the wall. The man rises from the bed as chunks of dead alarm clock fall to the fall. “Another fine day” the man sarcastically comments.


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## Staff Deployment (Jan 6, 2014)

The narrator said:


> The worm rays of the sun


[spoiler2=the worm rays of the sun]
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





[/spoiler2]


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## BeastlyBeast (Jan 6, 2014)

Nice picture to wake up to, in the morning.


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## Terry D (Jan 6, 2014)

The narrator said:


> It depends how imaginative you are when it comes to scenes like this. For me I like to think that there is really no limit to what can be accomplished when it comes to writing. Here is how I would open a story like this:
> The warm rays of the sun penetrate the fibers of curtain to lift the dark pith blackness of night. An onslaught of ringing pulls the sleeping man from the solitude of his dream world and back into reality. The man fights the strain in his body as he pulls himself from the warm sheets and into the pending shock of the cool room temperature.
> He sits on the bed in hopes that he will quickly recover from the after effects of last night’s rest, the alarm relentlessly feels the atmosphere with terrible noise pollution. The man looks to the alarm clock recognizing that he must end the infernal beeping. With his right hand he sweeps the alarm clock sending it soring across the room and smashing agents the wall. The man rises from the bed as chunks of dead alarm clock fall to the fall. “Another fine day” the man sarcastically comments.



I don't want anyone to take this in the wrong way, but openings like this are what the "don't open with someone waking up" advice is talking about. Sure there is vivid imagery, but there is nothing going on, nothing to 'hook' the reader. Imaginative imagery and language do not make up for a lack of content


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## J Anfinson (Jan 6, 2014)

^ agree.


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## Gavrushka (Jan 6, 2014)

I say we have a 200 word 'wake up' challenge!


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## Kevin (Jan 6, 2014)

BeastlyBeast said:


> Ok... I just started with the book earlier today. This is what I have... Do you think this deals with it shortly enough?
> 
> ​It was Sunday, 7:45 in the morning. Young Derek Moore slapped his alarm clock's 'Off' button and forced himself out of bed. As he slowly stumbled down the hallway to head for the shower, he overheard his father, Curtis, using the kitchen phone for a conference call. With a depressed tone, he said: “Remember to be at the cemetery by 9:30, sharp. and remember; no in-laws, please.”


Questions: Why do we need to know it's Sunday? Why does he "force himself"? There's no school, so...He hears his father, Curtis (Moore?)on a "conference call"...how? Is it on speaker? who's the third party ( a conference call means...)? What's the significance?  And you thought this was going to be easy...


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## BeastlyBeast (Jan 6, 2014)

Kevin said:


> Questions: Why do we need to know it's Sunday? Why does he "force himself"? There's no school, so...He hears his father, Curtis (Moore?)on a "conference call"...how? Is it on speaker? who's the third party ( a conference call means...)? What's the significance?  And you thought this was going to be easy...



sheesh... I guess not! I'm not dissing anything you said when I say this - I actually laughed at it  - but this is honestly why I think I took like a year long break from the book. It sounds so good in my head, but then it gets out there and, once they're pointed out, I can see problems I didn't notice the first time reading it, or even the first 10 times reading it over...
I won't be the first to deny writing can be hard. But, this is my first serious book and I'm  still in school (not really an excuse, but whatever, I'm using one. Lol) so I still have a bit to learn. Maybe because I'm in English composition, that'll help me write better.

edit: the third party is explained further on in the chapter... So that doesn't need to be acctd for in the opening paragraph.


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## Kuro (Jan 6, 2014)

What if a story were to begin with a character waking up in a strange place and they have to figure out how they got there?


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## Deleted member 49710 (Jan 6, 2014)

Kuro said:


> What if a story were to begin with a character waking up in a strange place and they have to figure out how they got there?


I'd still skip the moment of waking, jump ahead to the thing that gives him a clue. Even if it's thirty seconds later. For example, I think:
_The sky was neon purple. "Where the heck am I?" thought Jimmy as he rubbed his eyes...
_is better than
_Jimmy moaned and rolled over, feeling the unfamiliar rock floor dig into his side. Finally, with a reluctant sigh, he opened his eyes. The sky was neon purple. "Where [...]
_
What I'm saying, basically, is start with something odd or interesting. Waking up--we all do it. Every day. So it isn't interesting.


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## Kevin (Jan 6, 2014)

> It sounds so good in my head, but then it gets out there and, once they're pointed out, I can see problems I didn't notice the first time reading it, or even the first 10 times reading it over...


 It's what it takes...better than being oblivious, or worse: in denial. You have to write it though, so you can see it. Then you can fix it. Just write it anyway and worry about fixing it later. Jmo.


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## TheYellowMustang (Jan 6, 2014)

lasm said:


> What I'm saying, basically, is start with something odd or interesting. Waking up--we all do it. Every day. So it isn't interesting.



Okay I gotta throw a question in there too, now that you're all talking about something so relevant to my WIP. I agree, waking up - we do it every day, it's never going to be interesting to read about. Like you pointed out, even if you're waking up on another planet then the moment after you've woken up will be much more exciting. 

_*"*The feel of someone’s backside, shaped against you. The sharp nails of your sister’s rat, scurrying over your arm. The sound of a shrieking alarm. Lots of different ways, same result – you wake up and start another day. 
      This morning, like many others, it was the uncomfortable feeling of a dry tongue. The party-version of limbo: not entirely sober, going on hungover. The only way to salvage a situation like that is to down a bottle of something strong, but people tell me that’s frowned upon before noon. And so the hangover rejoiced in victory.*"*_

(Ignore the fragments. All my documents are filled with green zigzag lines I'll have to go back and take a look at some day)

The first paragraph doesn't say much. To me, the point of it is to show his frame of mind. He's using a tired tone, almost bored by the very idea. Same old, same old. Is it still considered useless? A slow way to start off? Maybe I'm just clinging to it because I feel that it fits so nicely with the plot and the ending. I have a way of doing that, clinging to words. I don't kill my darlings, I marry them. It's strange though, because one of the best feelings in the world is hitting that delete button.


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## Terry D (Jan 6, 2014)

No opening is useless if it works, but the 'wake-up' opening is considered cliché because it is used so often by inexperienced writers. No one is saying don't use it (at least I'm sure not), but I will say, if you use it be aware that your reader has seen a variation of it a hundred times, and, if your reader happens to be an editor, your story could end up in the trash with all the "It was a dark and stormy night" weather openings, and the dream sequence openings. If that's a risk you are willing to run, go for it. Or, you could try for something unique. No matter how well written a wake up is, it will never be unique.


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## TheYellowMustang (Jan 7, 2014)

Terry D said:


> No opening is useless if it works, but the 'wake-up' opening is considered cliché because it is used so often by inexperienced writers. No one is saying don't use it (at least I'm sure not), but I will say, if you use it be aware that your reader has seen a variation of it a hundred times, and, if your reader happens to be an editor, your story could end up in the trash with all the "It was a dark and stormy night" weather openings, and the dream sequence openings. If that's a risk you are willing to run, go for it. Or, you could try for something unique. No matter how well written a wake up is, it will never be unique.



Good point. I've rewritten the opening 15-20 times, but maybe I should actually write it _differently_ instead of just rearranging the same words over and over again. Damn it, this book will be the death of me. It's a good way to go, though.


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## Kyle R (Jan 7, 2014)

You can make it unique! 

_On Wednesday, Carl woke up naked on the floor of the baboon cage.

_Something out of the ordinary to hook the reader can work. I believe a lot of the writers who use the typical wake up scenario don't put anything unusual or unique into it. They just have a character waking up because it seems like the logical starting point, since it's the starting point of our daily lives.

But fiction is not reality. It's not meant to mirror reality, either. Fiction is a craft, it's "life with all the boring parts taken out."

It's a story, and drama is defined as a composition of dramatic units, or scenes. Every scene is a unit of conflict (that's what defines a scene—conflict). Unless the waking up is a necessary transition into the conflict of the scene, it's probably unnecessary.

In the example I gave above, the waking up on the floor of a baboon cage works, because the conflict of the scene will be something like: Carl trying to get out of the cage.

The location of the waking up is where the emphasis is put, because the location is what will generate the conflict.

The _how_ of Carl waking up is _not_ where the emphasis is put, because Carl's grogginess is not related to the conflict. If it _were_ part of the scene conflict, then it would makes sense to describe how Carl felt as he woke up.

Perhaps, the opening describes Carl waking up in a drugged stupor. The conflict of the scene would then, logically, include Carl trying to function while drugged.

The problem with a lot of wake ups is they describe the mental or physical state of the narrator, or the feel of her bed, or the look of her room, or the sound of the city outside, and while it works to set the scene, if it doesn't relate to the ultimate conflict of the scene, it's not the strongest opening you can have (in my opinion).

To be fair, I love writers who set the scene well. But you can do that _within_ the scene, instead of purely at the beginning. The opening is where I recommend you hook the reader with a transition (or, with a sudden thrust) into the first conflict.

Just my two cents! :encouragement:


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 7, 2014)

> You can make it unique!
> 
> On Wednesday, Carl woke up naked on the floor of the baboon cage.
> 
> Something out of the ordinary to hook the reader can work.


I was thinking something similar myself, give them something totally off the wall and then he wakes up from the dream in his relatively normal surroundings. The, 'it was all a dream' scenario is terrible as an ending, but it might make a good beginning.


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## Tettsuo (Jan 7, 2014)

Terry D said:


> No opening is useless if it works...



That says it all.


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## Gavrushka (Jan 7, 2014)

KyleColorado said:


> You can make it unique!
> 
> _On Wednesday, Carl woke up naked on the floor of the baboon cage.
> ....
> _



A week of wakes could be a great series of short stories... 

On Thursday, Carl woke up in a hospital ward with a tell-tale (tail *snickers) bump midway down his bedding. It wouldn't have been so bad if the four nurses gathered at the end of his bed, applauding politely, had appeared a bit more enthusiastic. The baboon, he noted, was in the next bed.


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## TheYellowMustang (Jan 7, 2014)

KyleColorado, you just gave me a great idea of how to open chapter 1. Thanks (or is "thanks" the right word? Now I have to rewrite it)


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## spartan928 (Jan 7, 2014)

BeastlyBeast said:


> I am starting the novel with a teenage boy waking up and slowly stumbling out of bed and into the hallway, when he overhears his father talking on the phone, in a rather depressed tone. That's kinda how I want the beginning of the story's vibe to be - depressing or tragic.



You want it to be engaging, so I say go right to the heart of what your story is about. Why is the dad speaking in a depressed tone? Did he lose all his money in a gambling binge? Did his wife die in a car crash? Or did his accountant run off with his money and his wife? Whatever "it" is, getting into it in the first sentence will surely engage much more than trying to lead up to it. I say forget about the waking up, climbing out of bed and walking into the kitchen to see dad on the phone. Give us the meat of the depressing phone call and keep going. Does the time of day even matter?


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## The narrator (Jan 8, 2014)

Gavrushka said:


> I say we have a 200 word 'wake up' challenge!




Challange accepted!


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## The narrator (Jan 8, 2014)

spartan928 said:


> You want it to be engaging, so I say go right to the heart of what your story is about. Why is the dad speaking in a depressed tone? Did he lose all his money in a gambling binge? Did his wife die in a car crash? Or did his accountant run off with his money and his wife? Whatever "it" is, getting into it in the first sentence will surely engage much more than trying to lead up to it. I say forget about the waking up, climbing out of bed and walking into the kitchen to see dad on the phone. Give us the meat of the depressing phone call and keep going. Does the time of day even matter?



I agree with this, immerse the reader from the get go.


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## Outiboros (Jan 8, 2014)

TheYellowMustang said:


> Ah, I know... I'm writing a story where sleep is a very important aspect (long story short: a girl who used to live in the MC's house - her soul is kind of stuck on earth in her doppelgänger, which forces her memory/ghost to live on in her former house. So his dreams become her memories, and her memories are very important to the plot). Since dreams are so important to the story, I thought a nice symbolic way to start it would be with him waking up. And then someone told me it was a big no-no. The whole story ends with him falling asleep actually, now that I think about it. You know what? I'm feeling stubborn. I'm keeping it.
> 
> I'm also keeping some of my -ly words. \\/


That's the right mentality!

Half of my stories are born out of stubbornness. After writing a long, complicated and rather dark fantasy story, I was so fed up with having to figure things out and juggling plot lines like I was GRRM-Lite that I wrote a humorous detective/fantasy story in which animated Garden Gnomes filled the role of SkyNet with a plot about as sensible as a concrete balloon. And now, after writing a serious science fiction story that was all according to the rules of writing, I find myself writing a science fiction story that throws all the rules in the bin. I'm talking starting with waking up, and incomprehensible prologue, -ly words, useless scenes, broken sentences, essay-style elaborations on the true name of humanity and the nature of the brain versus the mind...


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## Sam (Jan 8, 2014)

I think the point is being missed here. Nobody is saying _don't _start a novel with a waking-up scene. We're saying: don't start it with a _mundane _waking-up scene. Have something happen. Did you ever wake up and think you were still dreaming? Even that's more interesting than a prosaic scene in which a man or woman wakes up and proceeds to spend two pages chatting about their work, or lives, or anything in between. The thing you have to remember is that most readers decide whether they'll buy a novel from two criteria. Firstly, the blurb; and secondly, the first paragraph/page. If you picked a novel this morning and the first five pages consisted of a character waking up and making breakfast, can you honestly say you'd buy it? 

First sentences, first paragraphs, first chapters are an author's bread and butter. Only hard-core readers read beyond a first chapter in a book-store, so I would think it's best to ensure that your first chapter has enough to entice a reader. I don't know about anyone else, but uneventful waking-up scenes have never been enticing for me.


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