# Star Centre



## Nuelma (Apr 18, 2006)

*I sell nothing.  I come to teach.  *
*Many will listen.  Many will not.*
*Of those who choose to live oblivious to universal truths, be not afraid.  *
*Take care.  *


----------



## mammamaia (Apr 18, 2006)

*



This site is here to provide information about who you really are, and the amazing manifesting power that you have.

Click to expand...

* 
are you selling something?... if so, what?... and what is this piece meant to be?... copy for your website?... or...? 

regardless, i was turned off immediately by the bold font and strident, lecturing tone of the text... lack of proper paragraph structure is another major problem, that makes reading too much of a chore... so, i can't critique the content, due to all of the above... sorry...

love and hugs, maia


----------



## Nuelma (Apr 19, 2006)

Thanks for your opinion love. 
Just to explain... the piece was actually channelled information from a higher entity. I'm not sure if you are or aren't familiar with these kinds of works. 
Spirit doesn't lend itself to grammar or correct sentence structure, but I will be sure to send out that vibe next time I channel. I will also tidy up the piece to make it more reader friendly. 
Just out of curiosity, even though you found it difficult to critique the work due to bad grammar etc... what did you think of the information? Was it a concept that you could understand?
Oh, I wasn't selling anything... I have this on my blog and I copied it to this forum to see what people would say.  I have noticed though, that looking through this forum is quite depressing.  Everyone seems quick to bag other people's work.  Kind corrective critism can do wonders for a budding writer, and encouragement costs a person nothing.  It seems that people get more personal satisfaction out of disempowering others on this site.  Very, very sad indeed.


----------



## mammamaia (Apr 19, 2006)

first off, nuelma, you should realize that asking for a _critique_ is not asking for _praise_... serious writers know that they need to know what's wrong with their work, so they can fix it and learn how to improve their skills... so, rather than 'disempowering' any, being honest and telling them what's not working in their writing is in fact 'empowering' them, by giving them the info they need to have in order to improve...

most other writing sites i've seen are little more than mutual admiration societies, where everybody says meaningless stuff like, 'i loved it!' and 'oh, how wonderful!' and no one dares say what's wrong, when it _is_... 

that's why this is the absolute best writing site on the entire web, imo... people here tell the truth, awful though it often may be... and most of the writers who come here know that's what they'll get and know it's what they need... certainly, an occasional post will be mean-spirited and rude, but that's to be expected, with such a huge and varied membership... it's a fact of life anywhere, however, and doesn't reflect on the site or the rest of us... 

as to your piece:


> Just to explain... the piece was actually channelled information from a higher entity. I'm not sure if you are or aren't familiar with these kinds of works.


 
i'm quite familiar with them... in fact, i once transcribed some channeled material for a lady who was supposedly getting it from a hindu entity of some kind... 



> Spirit doesn't lend itself to grammar or correct sentence structure, but I will be sure to send out that vibe next time I channel. I will also tidy up the piece to make it more reader friendly.


 
that would be wise, since people will then tend to take what you [two? ;-) ] have to say more seriously... 



> Just out of curiosity, even though you found it difficult to critique the work due to bad grammar etc... what did you think of the information? Was it a concept that you could understand?


 
sorry, but i can't give you an answer, since i didn't read it it that thoroughly, having been put off by the things i mentioned... from just a quick scan, i  can say that i didn't get what your point is... what it is that is being proposed... it probably needs to be set out at the beginning, in language all who don't believe in channeling can understand, if you want to preach to more than just the choir... 

sorry i can't be more helpful... hugs, m


----------



## Nuelma (Apr 19, 2006)

Again, thanks for your opinion.  
I'm not really a serious writer, I'm a Hypnotherapist, Psychologist, Counsellor, Life Coach and Medium.  And I think i'll stick to my day job.  But thanks again for your honesty.


----------



## Cipher2 (Apr 20, 2006)

I doubt that many people on this site know what channeling is (although Maia is an exception) or beleive in it if they do .  There are some websites that deal with it specifically and they might be more appropriate.  But I would say stay away from it altogether.  I would not recommend it at all.

As a critique, sorry to be harsh(on your entity, not on you) but you proclaim universal truths but don't then ilustrate them.  I would like to see what these are.


----------



## mammamaia (Apr 21, 2006)

good point, cipher!


----------



## Karl Himmelreich (Apr 30, 2006)

_what did you think of the information?_

I didn't notice any information, only hollow statements...maybe try finding an entity who is even higher....


----------

