# The riot act



## Foxee (Apr 7, 2011)

I was enjoying a period of relative peace late this afternoon which was good considering the piercing headache that had taken up residence behind my right eyeball. Coffee was perking, ready to follow some ibuprofen and a few crackers, the toddler was sleeping, my son was outside on a beautiful day - I had just seen him returning from the neighbors' where he'd been playing with their grandson - and my daughter was outside kicking around in the back yard.

Now, we rarely have neighbor trouble. There are plenty of difficult people in my neighborhood but I get on reasonably well with the people to either side and to the back of me. The neighbors to one side generally treat my kids like adopted grandkids and when I have corrected them for going into their house without telling me, the couple said, "Aww, it's ok, they can come in." So it tends to be pretty casual.

The peace was shattered by someone screeching outside. Every now and then, living in a little neighborhood like this, there is some screaming but it's usually kids playing (or briefly fighting) so i didn't think much about it. Until it didn't stop...and it had a definite haranguing tone.

Worried about what kind of trouble might be brewing (and whether my kids were any part of it) I ran outside and heard it was coming from the back of my house. Someone was yelling and complaining very loudly in my backyard and it wasn't either of my kids.

Then I saw my son, stark naked, right in front of my neighbors' house (the 'adoptive grandparents) beside the water hose (yes, embarrassing...he wanted to play with the water because, hey! It's a warm day! *sigh* 'It's not yours' is something that's very hard to get him to understand, believe me, I've been teaching that one for the last few years.) and the yelling became clearer. Their adult daughter was visiting, had seen my son, and had gone on a rampage. Not to my door to knock and ask for me but straight to my back yard to scream at my daughter, about where was I and why don't I watch my kids.

I finally got her out of my back yard and she decided to keep screaming, face to face reading me the riot act as loudly as she could. Her mom came out on the porch and I actually know her so I left her daughter making loud noises with her facial orifice and went to talk to someone who actually lives at the house.

My son was putting on his clothes (having also heard about this at high volume) at least being angry at someone else helped me not to laugh. Encouraging the streaker wouldn't have been good so I told him to go home.

I talked with the neighbor and apologized if my son had been annoying her (she had never complained of it). She mentioned a couple things that I decided I did need to talk with him about and she also said she'd give her daughter a talking-to for how she treated me. We got it all ironed out, chatted a bit, and my son's been on house arrest since.

Still, having been told that I'm a horrible mother (at high volume) has pretty much ruined the day. I don't think it's true but it still gets under my skin.

Edit: I can't wait till HER son is five. He can't walk yet...she thinks she knows everything. heh. heh. heh.


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## KarlR (Apr 7, 2011)

So this would be the part where we all chime in and remind you that your naked boy will be sixteen someday....  Enjoy the easy stuff while it lasts!


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## Foxee (Apr 7, 2011)

LOL! Yes, trust you to think of the even more scary stuff, Karl!


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## KangTheMad (Apr 7, 2011)

Bah, I never streaked like your kid did. Reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes though.


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## The Backward OX (Apr 7, 2011)

Erm...how does house arrest teach him anything?


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## Foxee (Apr 7, 2011)

You're assuming that it was to teach him something. It wasn't. It was because I didn't have time to take him outside and watch him and I felt that things needed to cool down a bit before he's spotted running around outside without me again. God forbid that he went back over there and honked off whassername again, I didn't feel up to the confrontation.


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## MJ Preston (Apr 7, 2011)

You know. This is how it starts, first they're streaking around the yard with a water hose and then they're trying to invade the world, create the perfect race.







Keep an eye on that kid Foxee


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## Foxee (Apr 7, 2011)

LOL! That's just scary, MJ. You've got a good imagination for horror.


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## Gumby (Apr 7, 2011)

That sounds like an extreme overreaction on the part of the neighbors (_adult?) _daughter. I can't imagine why she felt she had to yell about anything. What an unpleasant person she must be, I feel sorry for her son.


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## Foxee (Apr 7, 2011)

I agree, Gumby. Her son is the sweetest little blue-eyed guy, too. I dunno, maybe she was having a bad day or a bad life or something. I didn't really know her before she moved out. I'm so glad she did.


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## caelum (Apr 8, 2011)

Sounds like the daughter's a crazy loudmouth who likes making scenes.  I'd've been hard pressed not to scream back.  Let's hope the kid doesn't inherit the crazy.


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## Hawke (Apr 8, 2011)

Ah, Foxee, there are loons everywhere and that daughter is a card-carrying nut. Don't give her a second though.

To my right are the backyard pot smokers whose laugh-a-minute teenage son leaves hot dogs and rotten bananas in mailboxes and car tailpipes. To my left are the folks who caused the great and ongoing Heritage Tree War. Wanna trade?


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## TheFuhrer02 (Apr 8, 2011)

KangTheMad said:


> Reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes though.


 
Haha. LOL. X\'D

@Foxee: Take a look at the bright side, at least you don't have neighbors who smash your car with a large rock when they get pissed off with their wife.


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## The Backward OX (Apr 8, 2011)

double post


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## The Backward OX (Apr 8, 2011)

I thought Adolf parted his hair on the right.


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## Eluixa (Apr 9, 2011)

Hey Foxee, don't let her get to you. Nothing wrong with a streaking five year old. He was in safe place, and five is still small enough that ownership of a hose is pretty irrelevant. Kids are already so leashed in our time.
Someone must've pissed in her cheerios, that's all.


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## Candra H (Apr 9, 2011)

What I cant get my head around is, what was the problem with seeing a naked five year old doing what they do best, having fun? Is the adult daughter fragile or sensitive or something...?


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## TheFuhrer02 (Apr 9, 2011)

^ Perhaps the neighbor was a nun? Or a Guidance Counselor? *shrug*


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## Olly Buckle (Apr 9, 2011)

Agreed Candra, I reckon it's about eight before clothes get insisted on, and then it's the kids who insist, and what's the worry about the hose? It's not as though you live in the Negev or Sahara.

Kids going next door can be scary though, my son was about three when he went out in the back yard and disappeared. We had a home for teenagers next door, turned out he was with the girls upstairs in their bedroom. Being half oriental he was very cute, and he was having the time of his life as they made a fuss of him. It scared his mother half to death though. Don't let it worry you too much though, see it as good practice for what's to come.:blackeye:


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## Foxee (Apr 9, 2011)

I don't know, Candrah, I couldn't get my head around that, either. Seemed to me that someone could have just as easily gotten me a lot more quietly and then I could have talked to him. This is the kind of thing that you tell the kid not to do, you don't have to freak out about it. I was more upset that he'd tried to appropriate the hose and run the water than that he'd made an innocent mistake (he knew that when it got warm out and you play with water you take some clothes off, he was fuzzy on the details as to how many). 

My neighbor's pretty protective over the hose because he has to pay for the water, THAT's what I wanted to mainly address. The nakedness thing could easily be addressed with a few words. By the time I even got to where my son was, though, he'd already been screamed at, I'd been screamed at, and I just firmly told him to go home.

One of the sad things about this is that when you try to correct a kid for too many things at one time they get confused. Every spring is an exercise in re-setting boundaries so that the kids DON'T just run in and out of the neighbor's house. After a whole winter stuck in their own house and 'grandma' being okay with them coming in, that is an exercise all on its own. Then add talking to him about not taking his clothes off in public AND getting after him about the hose thing and he looked a little run over. 

I wanted to make sure he wasn't confused and asked him, "So what did you learn today?"

After an uncertain pause he said, "Not to take my clothes off outside without asking?"

*sigh*


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## JosephB (Apr 9, 2011)

I might suggest my wife's favorite stay-at-home-mom medication -- the Extra Strength Excedrin Migraine tablets. 

My oldest simply couldn't understand why she had to wear a top when the boys didn't have to. Whenever she was around boys in bathing suits or without shirts -- off it came. Sometimes the whole bathing suite. *sigh* indeed. She seems to be over it now -- hoping it's something she doesn't go back to when she's a teenager. "Girls Gone Wild" and all that.


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## Foxee (Apr 9, 2011)

Sheesh! Have an Excedrin, Joe, I had that discussion with my eldest, too. Fortunately she just decided to go along with it because she just wants to swim.


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## MJ Preston (Apr 9, 2011)

Generally when this happened to me with my kids and a neighbor I'd strip off and walk outside to confront them. This of course used to irritate the wife, because I was a striking young man with bulges and muscles in all the right places and the ladies would instantly forget what they were complaining about.

I tried this just recently, not thinking that the shine might have come off my diamond, and it did not go well.

Court on Tuesday, indefinite restraining order and the wife hasn't talked to me in a week.

Wish me luck.


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## Gumby (Apr 9, 2011)

Yes, good luck, and, er, you should probably wear clothes to court, MJ.


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## MJ Preston (Apr 9, 2011)

Gumby said:


> Yes, good luck, and, er, you should probably wear clothes to court, MJ.


 
Hindsight is 20/20


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## The Backward OX (Apr 9, 2011)

Foxee said:


> I wanted to make sure he wasn't confused and asked him, "So what did you learn today?"
> 
> After an uncertain pause he said, "Not to take my clothes off outside without asking?"
> 
> *sigh*


 
Why sigh? At least it's a step in the right direction.


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## Foxee (Apr 9, 2011)

That's true, Ox, he was trying to get it right, anyway. He's a good kid.


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## Candra H (Apr 10, 2011)

Second what Ox said. Sounds like a learning experience was had by all and that can only be a good thing. This way, you get to know how mindless your neighbours' daughter is so don't need to waste your time being nice to her or befriending her for her parents' sake, and your son gets to realise that some people are just crazy and not worth taking seriously.

That girls and boys clothed thing sounds familiar. I'm sure my mum had a similar conversation with me when I was a kid...


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## Foxee (Apr 10, 2011)

MJ Preston said:


> Generally when this happened to me with my kids and a neighbor I'd strip off and walk outside to confront them. This of course used to irritate the wife, because I was a striking young man with bulges and muscles in all the right places and the ladies would instantly forget what they were complaining about.
> 
> I tried this just recently, not thinking that the shine might have come off my diamond, and it did not go well.
> 
> ...


 LOL!! I just don't have a snappy come-back for that but you sure have me laughing.  I saw this  last night and didn't get to respond but I laughed then, too.


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## Deleted member 33527 (Apr 10, 2011)

Seems like the girl hasn't been around a lot of young kids. My four year old nephew Hassan does that all the time. Actually its a little worse than that. He flashes his thing at everybody. His mom yells at him every time he does it, but I think its pretty hilarious.


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## Foxee (Apr 10, 2011)

That is hilarious! Have him talk to MJ and stop doing it before he's old enough to get arrested.


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## MJ Preston (Apr 11, 2011)

Foxee said:


> That is hilarious! Have him talk to MJ and stop doing it before he's old enough to get arrested.



Yes I am the perfect role model.

The only thing he'll learn from me is how to get tazered by the police. LOL


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## Jinxi (Apr 12, 2011)

I honestly cannot believe that girl's reaction. He is a child for goodness sake! 

My man's little boy is a nudist to the extreme. Being 4 years old he is starting to discover pieces of his anatomy, and likes to pull and tug and stretch in front of his family. He has another little quirk - every time he goes to the bathroom (be it number 1 or 2) he has to strip naked. He has done it for ages now and there seems to be no way to break this habit  He just seems to prefer being naked. He will come home from nursery school and instantly remove clothing. He thinks of himself as Tarzan - so everything but the underpants must go.

Foxee, don't let that girl's over-reaction get to you. As has been said a few times already - she obviously spends little time around real children who love to have fun.


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## Foxee (Apr 12, 2011)

Jinxi said:


> He has another little quirk - every time he goes to the bathroom (be it number 1 or 2) he has to strip naked. He has done it for ages now and there seems to be no way to break this habit  He just seems to prefer being naked. He will come home from nursery school and instantly remove clothing. He thinks of himself as Tarzan - so everything but the underpants must go.


 I always thought my kids were weird for stripping down to visit the toilet. Must be kid logic. Tarzan, huh? This kid sounds like fun! I bet you laugh a lot (in between putting things high up out of reach) when he's around.

On the subject of odd anatomical habits, my son never was interested in a pacifier but he would stick his finger in his belly button like other kids suck their thumbs. When he was going through this stage and winter came I forgot about the belly button and put zip-up pjs on him. He started to freak out when he realized his belly button had disappeared and I had to unzip him so that we could solemnly wish the belly-button good-night. Parenting is like a strange planet sometimes.


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## Gumby (Apr 12, 2011)

When my oldest was around two or three, he became very fascinated with stroking my legs to feel the pantyhose. Then I started catching him stripped naked and putting on my pantyhose. I never made a big deal out of it and somewhere along the way it stopped. Within a few months. Sometimes the discomfort or embarassment a.k.a, overreaction of a parent makes the biggest impression on a kid and makes it a bigger incident in their life than if allowed to run it's course with the parent calmly saying 'this isn't acceptable.'


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## Deleted member 33527 (Apr 12, 2011)

Gumby, I agree with you. It's always easier to just explain things to kids in a way that they'll understand it. Calm and collected. 

Of course, yelling your brains out sometimes works. My parents did that to me and my brother and we turned out all right.


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## MJ Preston (Apr 12, 2011)

Oh my gosh! Boys wearing pantyhose?

Conjures only one vision and I must admit it's not pretty.


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