# The Sea and the Sky



## Trides (Jun 16, 2011)

> Like iridescent soap bubbles that float up to the sky,
> your eyes
> 
> Like the New World Symphony playing for a hushed audience,
> ...


Sorry. I know love poems shouldn't exist
but I just couldn't resist.
'Twas a mixture of hormones
and the feeling of being alone.


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 16, 2011)

Ah! It definitely NEEDS to exist! Very nice. I don't think it's cliche at all, and I love the allusions.

One thought. I think the final line needs two more beats. The rhythm is awkward with that fine rhyme. Just a thought.


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## Trides (Jun 17, 2011)

Thank you. Hmm... but I can't think of anything that would fit!


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## Trides (Jun 17, 2011)

Oh! "Gladly" fits!


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## candid petunia (Jun 17, 2011)

This was beautiful! I loved it.


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## Isaiah Lake (Jun 17, 2011)

Ah! Fine literature you have here! There's nothing wrong with a descent love poem.


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## Gumby (Jun 17, 2011)

Very nice Trides, and I agree that love poems_ must exist! _


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## Nenada (Jun 18, 2011)

Don't be sorry!  I think good love poems are deceptively hard to write and you've done a great job, it's very earnest and sweet


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## Firemajic (Jun 18, 2011)

Is not Love one of the driving forces of human nature? With your first line-you hooked me..


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## JosephB (Jun 18, 2011)

You did a fine job with this. Pretty clever.

I like love poems. Most of mine are, in one way or another. It's one of the few things that inspire me to write poetry. It's all about expressing your feelings in ways that aren't cliche or expected. If you can do that -- it's all good.


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## Isaiah Lake (Jun 18, 2011)

In a way, most things that we write are inspired by love. Thing of all the things that you could write about and then ask yourself why that thing even exists or, at least, "Why do you write?" Most of the time, the answer is love.


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## toddm (Jun 19, 2011)

I enjoyed this one, not sure why it is in 





> quotes


 : )

the imagery is unusual in a good way - not trite at all

the last stanza could use a bit of tweaking to really round it off well - and "gladly" would go in there well

---todd


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## Trides (Jun 19, 2011)

Thanks, all. I didn't really expect commentary.


> Is not Love one of the driving forces of human nature?


Heck no. Lust is, though. And lust + confusion = love. In my humble opinion, lust, money and food will always be the most important driving forces of human nature.


> Pretty clever.


Yeah, I'm like that. Congrats on your 3,000 posts.


> In a way, most things that we write are inspired by love. Thing of all  the things that you could write about and then ask yourself why that  thing even exists or, at least, "Why do you write?" Most of the time,  the answer is love.


Or hate.
@toddm:  It had to be in quotes, to separate it from my little apology stanza.
Sure, I'll reluctantly put in "gladly"... *gets up with a creaking of joints and edits topic post*


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## Isaiah Lake (Jun 19, 2011)

Ah! But why do we hate?


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## Trides (Jun 19, 2011)

For more reasons than I can fully list.


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 19, 2011)

I hate love poems, but I love this. Not trite or sentimental or cliche, really well done, love. I can't understand why you thought you wouldn't get comments, this really is very clever, a million times better than most stuff touted as odes to love. Much enjoyed.

I simply must ask, Trides, why are you so focused on post counts? They are just a number, it's not quantity that matters, but rather quality. I'm not trying to needle you, hon, I'm really just curious.


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## toddm (Jun 19, 2011)

Trides said:


> Heck no. Lust is, though. And lust + confusion = love. In my humble opinion, lust, money and food will always be the most important driving forces of human nature.



I'd respond to your humble opinion with one of my own: Everyone longs for love, or rather Love - true Love. 

Lust/sex, money/wealth, fame, popularity, drugs, and all such are just people trying in many and diverse ways to lay hold of the Love they crave. Hate can be reframed as the reaction of someone whose pursuit of Love has been frustrated - 
---todd


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## Firemajic (Jun 19, 2011)

Brilliant observation Todd...
Lisa-I hate that you hate love poems!!! I would love- love to read one that you had written....probably not going to happen-huh?


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## Trides (Jun 19, 2011)

@Lisa: Thank you, and post counts are cool. On the other forum that I regularly post in, there is a list of the 100 Top Posters and people compete to pass others in post count. I have over 4,000 posts there...
@toddm: I disagree! And what do you consider love, anyway? Because if people "try in many and diverse ways" to gain love, doesn't that mean that the concept of love is different for each person? So what you consider love may be something entirely different to someone else... As for hate, when a boy insults me because of my race I do not feel love for my heritage or for my identity, just hate for him! How am I "pursuing love" in that case? 
@Firemajic: No, Lisa would prefer to be a depressed green-goop observer.


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## toddm (Jun 19, 2011)

Trides said:


> @toddm: I disagree!


peace Trides, that's perfectly fine - I respect your opinion : )


> And what do you consider love, anyway? Because if people "try in many and diverse ways" to gain love, doesn't that mean that the concept of love is different for each person? So what you consider love may be something entirely different to someone else...


Suppose there are 10 different people wasting away physically - they are famished and each one seeks to feed their hunger with something different: cotton candy, potato chips, salt, hay, dirt, dung etc... yet they all still continue to die of hunger, for something Else - when really what they all 10 need is the same thing: a good well balanced meal: protein, fruits, vegetables, real food, the kind of food their body was designed to eat - the fact that they all sought different ways to feed the same hunger doesn't mean that what they "really" longed for was different for any of them.



> As for hate, when a boy insults me because of my race I do not feel love for my heritage or for my identity, just hate for him! How am I "pursuing love" in that case?


I see that this has hit a sensitive and personal point for you, so I will be gentle - but you are proving my point: you desire people to love you for who you are, and they should - when they don't you feel pain, and one reaction to pain is to hate the one causing the pain - (it is not the only possible reaction though)

---todd


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 19, 2011)

Ay, Trides, you wound me. I thought my depression was deeply disguised, apparently not. And because I've turned green goop watching into a pastime doesn't make me a bad person. lol. Gotta keep your eye on it or else it'll have your eye for lunch. Anyhow, I did write one love poem, so nyah, which dear Jul was kind enough to unearth, but there will never be another written. I think the why is apparent. 

Thanks for accommodating me regarding the post count thingy, it's understandable considering it was a contest at your other forum. And I neglected to mention one thing about your piece, the fallen papers gave you away, love, at least to me. If I'm wrong, I vow to dive head first into the goop.


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## arkayye (Jun 20, 2011)

Should not, but they do and appears that they should.
I suppose it is the parameters of their (love poems') audience that would vary 
as well as the season of their 'utility.' (pardon the non to romantic word)


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## Trides (Jun 20, 2011)

toddm said:


> the fact that they all sought different ways to feed the same hunger doesn't mean that what they "really" longed for was different for any of them.


But can that be compared to love? People know what foods are good for them, and food is concrete and has a specific purpose, but love isn't useful or substantial. I mean, it's just an emotion. It doesn't _do_ anything. It's really just some vague concept that hardly exists. And there are many types of love, and some are definitely worse than others, and so not only the means but the goals are different...


> I see that this has hit a sensitive and personal point for you


For me, nothing is sensitive and everything is personal.


> you desire people to love you for who you are, and they should - when they don't you feel pain, and one reaction to pain is to hate the one causing the pain


But I don't desire love or remorse from anyone. I only care that I have strength enough to do what I have to do, which is retaliate.
This will go on and on, so let's agree to disagree.


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## Trides (Jun 20, 2011)

ChestersDaughter said:


> Ay, Trides, you wound me. I thought my depression was deeply disguised


Really? I thought you were purposefully using depression to flaunt your stylish eccentricity. 


> And because I've turned green goop watching into a pastime doesn't make me a bad person. lol.


I can sympathize. I write stories about yellow plastic frogs that emigrate from Poland to Italy in order to escape from family feuds and end up working for Roman jewelry merchants.


> Anyhow, I did write one love poem, so nyah, which dear Jul was kind enough to unearth, but there will never be another written. I think the why is apparent.


I'll check it out.
This have anything to do with "Wedding Photo"?


> the fallen papers gave you away


Do explain.


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## Trides (Jun 20, 2011)

arkayye said:


> I suppose it is the parameters of their (love poems') audience that would vary
> as well as the season of their 'utility.' (pardon the non to romantic word)


I cannot decipher that, but I would probably agree with it.


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## vrabbit (Jun 20, 2011)

First off, I'm sorry if I'm doing this wrong, this is my third post, I think. xD But I absolutely loved this. Flows nicely, not too cliche - I like the references to Icarus, but the way you've made them only references instead of cluttering the poem with it.


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## Isaiah Lake (Jun 20, 2011)

Aw... My dear Trides, it is poor ethic to present an argument and then dismiss the topic. I must ask that this discussion continue at least until we have all boiled down to pure opinion. Please allow that this discussion continue, or if not, shall you join in this same discussion under the debate forum? Even if you think that it's trivial, you must at least recognize the influence of the concept of love, and why miss a chance to sharpen our persuasive skills?


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## Isaiah Lake (Jun 20, 2011)

And Lisa,
Pardon me, but I find you to be quite deceitful. I must say that you have written more than one love poem. As I recall one of them, you are quite good at it. "If Only" is one of the best love poems I've ever read.


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## Firemajic (Jun 20, 2011)

Trides-why write such a beautiful "love poem" if you don't believe in the subject matter?  Just askin'....And wondering what inspired this ....


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 20, 2011)

MOD NOTE: Hate to be a killjoy my lovelies, but Isaiah has a made a brilliant point, perhaps this discussion of what is and isn't love should be moved to the Debate forum. This thread has become seriously derailed and I contributed to that derailment. Now I'll have to beat myself into a bloody stupor for doing so. We must get back on topic, which Trides' piece presented for critique.

Trides, think of the conversation we had, who dropped the papers in this piece? Perhaps I'm reading more into than I should. If so, I apologize. Appreciate eccentricity, I just think I'm weird. I apologize to all if I come across as depressed, I'll lighten my tone. And thank you, Isaiah, If Only was written out of love, but when I think love poem, I think romantic love, not familial, but that is tiny mindedness on my part.


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