# Psychotic Psychosis



## Firemajic (Jul 14, 2016)

*Wrapped in the illusion of my rainbow I dance
bare feet finding that elusive beat
a wanton dervish no longer earthbound
stripped naked of all expectations

Marbled eyes moon blind
skin drenched with disillusions
I lose myself to the storm in my head
lost in lightening strike chaos

In that secret space
galaxies of pain orbit past
endless trashed tomorrows
 entwined with infinite sorrow

I cower inside my rainbow illusion
bare feet shackled with delusion 
a dying dervish no longer dancing
stripped naked of expectations
*


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## kaminoshiyo (Jul 15, 2016)

It's really painful to envision- like watching someone crawl through barbed-wite sheets. In this case, I'd say it aas too effective, lol. I can really feel it...


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## Firemajic (Jul 15, 2016)

kaminoshiyo said:


> It's really painful to envision- like watching someone crawl through barbed-wite sheets. In this case, I'd say it aas too effective, lol. I can really feel it...





Thank you, Kaminoshiyo! I am thrilled this was effective, It is hard to express a mental storm... I appreciate your comments...


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## Sonata (Jul 15, 2016)

Yet another of your poems that I was half-frightened to even read, although I am glad I did.  It is not a "just before bedtime" read though.


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## jenthepen (Jul 15, 2016)

Oh, how you rip us in two, Firemajic. Your imagery is so beautiful and you whirl us all up into your world so effortlessly but the emotions are so painful. You have nailed this feeling so completely that you make me feel I've lived through it with you. You are a master of poetic expression, Julia. Just superb.

jen


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## Phil Istine (Jul 15, 2016)

It's not often I read someone's poem and think 'Yes, I know.'  Heck, I can't even manage that with some of my own work.
But yes, I know.


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## Firemajic (Jul 15, 2016)

Haha... Thank you Sonata!

jen... your comments calm my storm... I see emotions in high tech color, the more intense the emotion, the more overwhelming are the colors, until I am blind,  sorta the same as a mental migraine.. lol... Thank you for your fabulous kind comments... love you to bits...


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## Firemajic (Jul 15, 2016)

Phil Istine said:


> It's not often I read someone's poem and think 'Yes, I know.'  Heck, I can't even manage that with some of my own work.
> But yes, I know.




You understand this ...thing?


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## Phil Istine (Jul 15, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> You understand this ...thing?



Perhaps it would be better to say that I have* an* understanding


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## SilverMoon (Jul 15, 2016)

Terrifyingly brilliant depiction of the "Mental Storm" you so aptly named. While our inner landscapes may be sunk differently, I do know the storm and the wreckage it has wrought and the steel/steal of it all, still. 

Despite this feeling of painful familiarity, your imagery was powerfully disturbing to this mind of mine - which can take just about anything! 

 Thank you for your spectacular gift for bringing out the monsters and nailing them to the page, sparing them nothing. Thank you for making me feel less alone. And believe me, that takes allot of doing!


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## Firemajic (Jul 15, 2016)

Phil Istine said:


> Perhaps it would be better to say that I have* an* understanding




Oh... right... I am always searching for some one that "knows"... thank you for " an understanding" ... that is a fabulous thing...

SilverMoon, I am a freak, or at least that was the label given to me at a young age, and I am ok with that... But, if by writing about my personal struggles, I can make another "Freak" feel less alone... well then, my pain was a worthy gift after all. Thank you for your kindness and compassion...


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## SilverMoon (Jul 15, 2016)

My label was "Spooky" as in the song released in 1968 (I'm dating myself - _cause no one else will  LOL_)



> if by writing about my personal struggles, I can make another "Freak" feel less alone... well then, my pain was a worthy gift after all. Thank you for your kindness and compassion...



 You are a teacher who knows how to translate pain so it's almost a tangible. Hand to hand, heart to heart - that's how I felt.

And thank you. I am kind and compassionate person and have this saying : "It's a good thing for the world that I happened to turn out to be a nice person"


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## nathan sturley (Jul 16, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> *Wrapped in the illusion of my rainbow I dance
> bare feet finding that elusive beat
> a wanton dervish no longer earthbound
> stripped naked of all expectations
> ...


I know this is not it at all but it makes me think of been at a festival dancing on something and then after the initial high i start to feel all sorts of thoughts that disturb me and i dance with bare feet trying to stay in a happier mindset. I know to you it is nothing of the sort but just my first read now put that picture in my mind. Funny how poetry and the way others interpret it. My mind often suddenly drops in mood at anytime and the dervishes and bare feet made me think of a time I was dancing in a tent at a festival all spaced out vibe dance music and orbits flashed on the walls of the tent like all astral and space and people dancing in bare feet all night and a feeling in us of been like space travellers sort of vibe and suddenly felt real mood drop and I guess that is psychotic and I felt loads of bad thoughts and confusion and a real sad feeling I got and this poem just made me remember that few minutes that night at a summer festival in the dance tent.
Funny how poetry does that. someone else will find something else to it. That is what is so good about poetry how it is left to us to find ourselfs in it.


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## Firemajic (Jul 16, 2016)

Thank you SilverMoon, I appreciate your comments!

Nathan, exactly right... At the onset of the "storm" there is a feeling of euphoria ... then the freefall into the dark chaos... I am glad you connected with my poem. Thank you for your sublime comment...


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## escorial (Jul 17, 2016)

you create in a destructive way.....very rare does one see the lighter side of your words in your poetry..it's there in your responses and comments...


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## Firemajic (Jul 17, 2016)

escorial said:


> you create in a destructive way.....very rare does one see the lighter side of your words in your poetry..it's there in your responses and comments...





Destructive creation... hummm... well maybe... I can only write what I see/ feel/ long for and desire... So, yeah, maybe I am self destructive... Thank you, Escorial ... I always enjoy seeing my poem through your eyes...


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## NashNash (Jul 17, 2016)

The dark imagery in this is beautiful. When I read it I felt an overwhelming desperate sorrow. I feel like it captures the madness and torment you can feel trapped inside your own head. Loved it


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## Nellie (Jul 17, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> SilverMoon, I am a freak, or at least that was the label given to me at a young age, and I am ok with that... But, if by writing about my personal struggles, I can make another "Freak" feel less alone... well then, my pain was a worthy gift after all. Thank you for your kindness and compassion...


And I can relate to that as well. I've been labeled a "Freak" many times, also, because of my life struggles. And it isn't pretty. Thank-you for sharing.


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## Firemajic (Jul 18, 2016)

NashNash said:


> The dark imagery in this is beautiful. When I read it I felt an overwhelming desperate sorrow. I feel like it captures the madness and torment you can feel trapped inside your own head. Loved it



Thank you Nash, I loved seeing my poem through your eyes and words.. fabulous....

Nellie ... damn those who label us, and starts that destructive inner dialogue that whispers lies ... Thank you for reading and for your kind comments...


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