# 11 dating tips I wish my mother told me



## sore (Jun 10, 2015)

1. Don’t date a boy who cancels plans last minute. Especially if he’s cancelling for someone else. You are not a second choice. You are not a third choice. You are a first choice or you are nothing to him. Do you understand me, baby? You are worth so much more than that, don’t let him push you around.

2. If he’s rude to you, drop him. I don’t care how many times he says “just kidding” or “baby, I didn’t mean it” you keep your head up, your shoulders straight, your chin high and you demand to be treated as the goddess you are.

3. If he doesn’t hold your hand in front of his friends or wrap his arms around you when you’re with his family then he isn’t worth it. Date someone who can’t keep their hands off of you. Date someone who aches with the need to feel your skin on theirs.

4. Make sure he has goals, aspirations, dreams. Make sure he has a plan of some sort. If he doesn’t have any of those what are you guys supposed to talk about? What are your 2 AM conversations going to look like?

5. Find out his hobbies and interests and make sure they’re similar to yours. If you want to travel, date someone who will drop what they’re doing just to take you on a random adventure. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who’s idea of a good night is sitting on his futon with cheesy Dorito fingers while you watch him play video games.

6. If your brother doesn’t like him or if he rubs your sister the wrong way, trust their instinct. There’s probably a reason. I can guarantee you, darling, if you bring him home and we can see in his eyes that you light up his entire world then we will love him just as much as you do.

7. Baby, if he ever lays a finger on you, you fucking leave him. Don’t think twice, don’t look back and don’t you dare accept his apology two days later.

8. If you can’t trust him you shouldn’t be dating him. If you have to go through his phone to sleep better at night he’s not the one for you.

9. You’re going to fight, you’re going to argue, that is all part of a relationship. But baby, if he is contradicting everything you say solely for the sake of an argument, just walk away.

10. I’ve seen anger and rage in your grandfather’s eyes. I saw it everyday for 17 years, baby. If losing a football game makes him so mad as to not want to speak to you, than you are giving yourself to the wrong boy. He’s going to grow, and he’s going to get meaner, and he’s going to hurt you. Leave now.

11. If his laugh doesn’t claw it’s way into your memory and his smile doesn’t make you feel like the entire universe is right in front of you then you are wasting your time.


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## Plasticweld (Jun 13, 2015)

Good advice the only thing that caught me of guard was the swearing in number 7 I somehow don't picture Mom giving heartfelt advice and then using the word Fuck in it.  Just my two cents,  certainly worth holding on to for your daughter some day.


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## escorial (Jun 13, 2015)

when confronted with a piece like this do you comment on the content or the manner in which it was wrote....style,grammar..i'm not sure myself


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## Blade (Jun 13, 2015)

escorial said:


> when confronted with a piece like this do you comment on the content or the manner in which it was wrote....style,grammar..i'm not sure myself



I am not sure about that either. As per style I think it is pretty effective with a lot of content packed into a small space, lots to think about.:-k One little nit, the use of 'fucking' in point 7 jumps out as 'unmotherly'.[-(



> 3. If he doesn’t hold your hand in front of his friends or wrap his arms around you when you’re with his family then he isn’t worth it. Date someone who can’t keep their hands off of you. Date someone who aches with the need to feel your skin on theirs.



This is a bit of a contentious point. I would think that 'affection' and 'public affection' are two different things, perhaps even contradictory. I can recall, in my own experience, couples who had obvious issues but appeared publicly to be in harmony, something for 'the show'.:scratch:


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## Loveabull (Jun 13, 2015)

Very wise indeed, I would add one more in there. If you have to check in with him or he gets all accusing then you can do better. That is a control freak with trust issues. I remember one time driving and my kid was on her phone. She was on the phone with a boyfriend who was a world class jerk. She was trying to explain she was late because we were stuck in traffic. He was really mad she wasn't where he wanted her to be yet. I was hearing this conversation...and yes I told her "Tell him to fuck himself" she did and they broke up n' she was the better for it.


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## dither (Jun 14, 2015)

Interesting.


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## CurtisDawson (Jul 3, 2015)

Sounds high maintenance....


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## KayHeart (Jul 31, 2015)

Great advice and the way it was written for the granddaughter speaks directly to any reader. I enjoyed reading it and read it all the way through without feeling bored with the content. Good job IMO!


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