# Are you an  Extrovert or an Introvert ?



## Plasticweld (May 14, 2014)

*Extroverts*


are interested in what is happening around them
are open and often talkative
compare their own opinions with the opinions of others
like action and initiative
easily make new friends or adapt to a new group
say what they think
are interested in new people
easily break unwanted relations

*Introverts*


are interested in their own thoughts and feelings
need to have own territory
often appear reserved, quiet and thoughtful
usually do not have many friends
have difficulties in making new contacts
like concentration and quiet
do not like unexpected visits and therefore do not make them
work well alone



I was reading the "The what did you learn today."  thread here and thought that this would be an appropriate question to ask. 

If you are somewhere in the middle you have to explain

I am of coarse an extrovert and can not imagine being an introvert, the only cross over for me is that I do work well alone.


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## Bruno Spatola (May 14, 2014)

Both is the only right answer for me, not that I even give it credence. These fancy self-defining games are really about as insightful as horoscopes to me. I'm more complicated than lists of traits, everyone is. My personality totally changes from person to person, even; it cannot be pinned down and looked at directly, it shifts and adjusts and wriggles itself into many forms for many situations. It's like water.

To try and define it in this way would be like trying to drink stone or figure out the colour of silence, I think. That's just me, though. There should be a 'both' option.


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## dale (May 14, 2014)

introvert straight down the line, except for the "doesn't make unexpected visits". when i do go see people, i never call
or let them know. i just show up. i don't like talking on the phone. so i don't call 1st. and if they aren't there? then i just go
buy a case of beer and hang out in their garage or something till they pull up.


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## Ariel (May 14, 2014)

I am classically an introvert.  There are a few exceptions to the items on your list and as Bruno has said, I think the whole introvert/extrovert thing is severely limiting.


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## Nicholas McConnaughay (May 14, 2014)

Introverted. Don't look at me like that, ... just leave me alone.


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## patskywriter (May 14, 2014)

I'm an introvert, but I've learned how to adopt extrovert traits when necessary—but only up to a point.


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## Bard_Daniel (May 14, 2014)

I'm only extroverted when it serves a purpose (journalism/research). Otherwise, I am a complete introvert.


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## Schrody (May 14, 2014)

I would say 50:50, depends on the mood. And I hate unexpected visits.


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## Bishop (May 15, 2014)

I have about... three or four people who I can regularly be around and interacting with without getting annoyed that I can't go off on my own. I'm all about being by myself, or at most with Bishopette.


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## Guy Faukes (May 15, 2014)

Middle, definitely middle. Introversion has a gentle charm of solitude and being low key, but it's boring as heck. There's a certain energy to people that I love to feed off of and contribute to. Interacting with people used to be difficult, but you keep at it, work through the toughness and you find a rhythm and group you enjoy.


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## Schrody (May 15, 2014)

Guy Faukes said:


> Middle, definitely middle. Introversion has a gentle charm of solitude and being low key, but it's boring as heck. There's a certain energy to people that I love to feed off of and contribute to. Interacting with people used to be difficult, but you keep at it, work through the toughness and you find a rhythm and group you enjoy.



You and me have something in common


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## dither (May 15, 2014)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Both is the only right answer for me, not that I even give it credence. These fancy self-defining games are really about as insightful as horoscopes to me. I'm more complicated than lists of traits, everyone is. My personality totally changes from person to person, even; it cannot be pinned down and looked at directly, it shifts and adjusts and wriggles itself into many forms for many situations. It's like water.
> 
> To try and define it in this way would be like trying to drink stone or figure out the colour of silence, I think. That's just me, though. There should be a 'both' option.



And i find that with things like this ( as with the goldberg test) there are so many "yes-buts  no-buts".


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## Bruno Spatola (May 15, 2014)

Yeah, the whole concept is flawed. I'm everything on those lists bar one, so what the hell does that mean? Just shows how flimsy it is. 

I'm not just a Bach fan or English or an introvert, I'm Bruno Spatola. Every name has its unique list of quirks, so this stuff is so inane I can't comprehend people who say they're this or that with such conviction. The only thing you are 100% is yourself. Everyone is both in _some_ way; drives me up the wall.


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## Sam (May 15, 2014)

Neither . . . and both, depending on the circumstances, location, and company.


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## Gumby (May 15, 2014)

Me too, Sam. Definitely both, but maybe that's normal when you're a Gemini.


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## escorial (May 15, 2014)

introvert


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## Schrody (May 15, 2014)

Gumby said:


> Me too, Sam. Definitely both, but maybe that's normal when you're a Gemini.



I'm Leo, and it's totally me.


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## Guy Faukes (May 15, 2014)

Schrody said:


> You and me have something in common



Sweeet. Do you want to hang out sometimes? Haha.


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## dither (May 15, 2014)

May i venture to suggest, that writers, by definition, are thinkers.
Thinkers tend to be introverts.
Nes pas?


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## Schrody (May 15, 2014)

Guy Faukes said:


> Sweeet. Do you want to hang out sometimes? Haha.



Why not? 



dither said:


> May i venture to suggest, that writers, by definition, are thinkers.
> Thinkers tend to be introverts.
> Nes pas?



Thinkers and doers.


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## dither (May 15, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Why not?
> 
> 
> 
> Thinkers and doers.



Doers?
When do they find time to write?
They're too busy,,,,,,,,,,erm,,,,,, doing.

Aren't they?


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## Schrody (May 15, 2014)

dither said:


> Doers?
> When do they find time to write?
> They're too busy,,,,,,,,,,erm,,,,,, doing.
> 
> Aren't they?



Yeah, they're too busy... doing... I like... doing... :icon_cheesygrin:


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## Bard_Daniel (May 15, 2014)

Thinking is doing.


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## Apple Ice (May 15, 2014)

*Enter introvert assassin*

Used to be extrovert, went very introvert and realised being an introvert was pointless at best. I've found it's easier, funner and generally more useful and better to be an extrovert. There's nothing you can't do that an introvert can, you can be just as deep thinking or whatever. Confidence is just a mask and so I just wore it until it imprinted again. 

As others have said, it can be quite relative. I know people who say they're shy with strangers but "completely mad" with those they know. Nothing wrong with any of the three, of course.


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## dither (May 15, 2014)

danielstj said:


> Thinking is doing.



I would venture to disagree, respectfully of course.


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## dither (May 15, 2014)

Apple Ice said:


> *Enter introvert assassin*
> 
> Used to be extrovert, went very introvert and realised being an introvert was pointless at best. I've found it's easier, funner and generally more useful and better to be an extrovert. There's nothing you can't do that an introvert can, you can be just as deep thinking or whatever. Confidence is just a mask and so I just wore it until it imprinted again.
> 
> As others have said, it can be quite relative. I know people who say they're shy with strangers but "completely mad" with those they know. Nothing wrong with any of the three, of course.



Apple, i am at ease the most,when i am with strangers.
Getting to know people is the toughie, i just don't want to go there.


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## patskywriter (May 15, 2014)

As Linus from the Charlie Brown/Peanuts franchise was overheard to say, "I love humanity—it's people I can't stand."


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## Bishop (May 15, 2014)

Apple Ice said:


> *Enter introvert assassin*
> 
> Used to be extrovert, went very introvert and realised being an introvert was pointless at best. I've found it's easier, funner and generally more useful and better to be an extrovert. There's nothing you can't do that an introvert can, you can be just as deep thinking or whatever. Confidence is just a mask and so I just wore it until it imprinted again.
> 
> As others have said, it can be quite relative. I know people who say they're shy with strangers but "completely mad" with those they know. Nothing wrong with any of the three, of course.



And our good-natured battle continues...

4 Things Everyone Gets Wrong About Introverts

Okay, so it's not exactly a scientific study, but it's a good, funny article relevant to the discussion.


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## Apple Ice (May 15, 2014)

Surprisingly I've never thought they were all murderous time-bombs but now that I think about it, are all murderers introverts? I'd agree with that article as they're all fairly obvious points. I think the ones I've met have said they were introverts in an attempt to be different perhaps, which ironically makes them all the same because everyone wants to be different. I may have just been unfortunate in the ones I've met and they probably think they were unfortunate in meeting me.


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## Bishop (May 15, 2014)

Apple Ice said:


> Surprisingly I've never thought they were all murderous time-bombs but now that I think about it, are all murderers introverts? I'd agree with that article as they're all fairly obvious points. I think the ones I've met have said they were introverts in an attempt to be different perhaps, which ironically makes them all the same because everyone wants to be different. I may have just been unfortunate in the ones I've met and they probably think they were unfortunate in meeting me.



Generally, if someone says "I'm an introvert" outside of certain discussions, they're usually less "introvert" and more "jackass". Same goes with "I'm an extrovert" or "I'm just into more obscure movies" or "Heh, well I guess I'm just too smart for that sort of thing".


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## Plasticweld (May 15, 2014)

Good link Bishop.

I can only say that as an introvert I have never pretended nor changed my behavior because of the people I was interacting with.  If there is a plus side to being and extrovert it normally means that you can carry on a conversation with an introvert that has some substance. It means finding the things they are passionate about.  I would say that as a plus side most introverts are very passionate about something, find that and it is tough to get them to shut up.  They may not want to speak about it in front of an audience but given the chance they will go further to teach, explain and go into more detail about a topic than anyone else.

I would say that I seek out introverts to gain their knowledge and expertise on things I have no knowledge of or wish to become skilled at. 

I have no idea why I am the way that I am, I make friends standing in line, get into philosophical discussions with someone I met just a minute ago. I love public speaking, at a party I am the guy telling the jokes and stories trying to be entertaining. I could not stop if I wanted to. 


Apple was that you that put down on the poll that you were an extrovert? your answer is kind of cryptic and in your normal sarcastic  tone :}


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## Apple Ice (May 15, 2014)

Yeah I'm sure there are positives as well, it just seems the social downside is quite a large one to me. 




> Apple was that you that put down on the poll that you were an extrovert? your answer is kind of cryptic and in your normal sarcastic tone :}



I checked the poll and it was schrody who said she was an extrovert. I haven't voted, I'm afraid. I don't think I can say outright I'm an extrovert but I suppose I am more leaning that way. Ha, didn't mean to be sarcastic. I must be a really dis-likable online presence sometimes


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## Plasticweld (May 15, 2014)

I think your sarcasm is an enduring quality, your words have bite and meaning to them, you are anything but luke warm, that is a good thing.


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## Pandora (May 16, 2014)

An interesting study I read was about the borderline personality types. It spoke to classifying the traits of one's Mother or female that raised you. I was raised by a "Hermit" my first examples in life set that trend for myself and I onward for my children. Conscious decisions to change really don't work once you are programed, it becomes basic action, reaction. My mother as well raised by a "Hermit". There is a climate of shame that brings a'Hermit" personality. It is actually a defense mechanism.

I am an Extroverted Introvert in the best of climates. I am an Aquarian born from a Gemini / Aquarian union, I can't help but care about others that is what humanitarians do.


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## dither (May 16, 2014)

Actually, i could imagine murderers being introverts, although it's probably not so.
I have stayed silent and put up with,  for so long, i am so full of bitterness and resentment, but sadness and regret also, that sometimes i think,that if i ever lost it with somebody, i really COULD, lose it.
But i'm a complete and utter wimp and that isn't going to happen.


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## dither (May 16, 2014)

Pandora said:


> I can't help but care about others that is what humanitarians do.



That's one helluva cross to bear Pandora, i know, and i wish i didn't.


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## bookmasta (May 16, 2014)

Sam said:


> Neither . . . and both, depending on the circumstances, location, and company.



This.


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## Ditch (May 16, 2014)

Absolutely extroverted.


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## Pidgeon84 (May 16, 2014)

Introvert, in fact I would go so far as to call myself misanthropic. Though I guess it depends on my surrondings. I'm bound to be less introverted at a metal show than say, the mall. In a place like that I just lament every moment of it. I guess I'm just not happy unless someone is screaming horrificly violent thinvs at my face through an amplifier.


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## Cylver (May 17, 2014)

I'm completely an introvert. Well most of the time. When i'm with friends I sometimes make the random change to an eccentric and insane extrovert.


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## deBroglie (May 17, 2014)

I'm introverted.  I do a lot more listening and talking when it comes to relationships, and that causes a lot of misunderstandings. I'd say it was tragic if I didn't prefer it this way, haha.


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## stormageddon (May 17, 2014)

I'm very introverted (exceptional circumstances notwithstanding), and I get very irritated by the odd patronizing extrovert who takes it upon his/herself to "bring me out of my shell." If I didn't find my shell to be a comfortable place, I wouldn't spend so much time in it e.o

I am a depressive misanthrope, I can't deny it, but that is not the result of my being an introvert, it's the cause. Most people, or most people my age, are simply not worth talking to as far as I'm concerned, either because I can't understand their superficial, self-destructive ways, or because they are dull.

As I'm sure you can tell from reading this, it's probably for the benefit of all that I keep myself to myself >.>


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## Blade (May 17, 2014)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Both is the only right answer for me, not that I even give it credence. These fancy self-defining games are really about as insightful as horoscopes to me. I'm more complicated than lists of traits, everyone is. My personality totally changes from person to person, even; it cannot be pinned down and looked at directly, it shifts and adjusts and wriggles itself into many forms for many situations. It's like water.


I think you could liken the assessment akin to locating yourself on a bell curve. Givem a rough definition of the polarities you just have to choose what side of the mid-lone you would generally fall under.

I went for introvert as I like peace and quiet, time to myself and a limited amount of interaction with other people and even then selectively. I am sure I would find extroversion rather tiring.:sad:


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## Lisa (May 19, 2014)

Introvert. And I'm quite happy. I love spending time alone; thinking, reading, researching and planning. 

And if I do interact with a group of people, it takes me a few days to recharge. Its exhausting being around others! I hate looking at people in the eye, and I often think I come across as a b*tch. I hate small talk and would rather die than have to talk about what you did at work four days ago or what you are making for supper tomorrow. I'm a mom and I don't have other mom friends because I find talking about other people's kids B-O-R-I-N-G. How horrible is that?


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## Blade (May 19, 2014)

Lisa said:


> I'm a mom and I don't have other mom friends because I find talking about other people's kids B-O-R-I-N-G. How horrible is that?



Not at all. Your own kids are a round the clock presence in a situation where you can exert considerable influence over what is, or isn't, happening. Other peoples kids are remote, out of of your control realm and may pick up and be moved away at a moments notice. Why concern yourself?

:welcome:Welcome to the forums.


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## blazeofglory (May 20, 2014)

Introversion and extroversion to me comes intermittently. Depends on the circumstance or the mood I am in and with some people or under a certain social milieu I tend to behave one way, quite open and candid and unlock myself and feel at ease and unperturbed with the rest of people around me. But things are not always the same. The difference between myself and a diehard extrovert is I do not behave and in fact cannot theatrically or exaggeratedly as the situation so demand. I am the type who behaves naturally and mostly instinctively. If I feel like laughing I cannot stop though it sounds silly and weird. I of course enjoy socialization but I cannot stand certain social demeanours and I have to run from the spot and cut off myself from the throng. 

Gregariousness is aplenty in my disposition but they stay inert at times and at others I come out of my shroud and feel Okay with the rest of you


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## Lisa (May 20, 2014)

Blade said:


> :welcome:Welcome to the forums.


I'm enjoying being here. Thanks!


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## Reichelina (Apr 5, 2016)

I'm an introvert but I do like company too. 
I'm not shy and I easily make friends. 

It's just that I see energy as currency. I spend my energy wisely. Being with people drains my energy levels. 
I prefer to be alone observing and my "alone" time is sacred.


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## PrinzeCharming (Apr 5, 2016)

Wow, way to make a thread come back to life. I guess I added one more to the extroverts. It would be great to see an updated poll. I am curious to see how the numbers have changed. Have you ever thought perhaps you were too much of something? Being too introverted makes you shy vs. being too extroverted makes you obnoxious.


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## LeX_Domina (Apr 5, 2016)

i am most definately an introvert.I am not shy...just don't talk as much as other people


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## bdcharles (Apr 5, 2016)

I'm an extrovert trapped in an introvert's body.


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## Shbooblie (Apr 11, 2016)

I'm a definite introvert, but as a child I was very extrovert.  I guess I changed once I became a teenager.  I'm not unhappy though,  I value my alone time as it gives me a chance to work on all my little projects.  I really hate social gatherings with large groups of people,  I'd much rather be at home with a nice cup of tea!


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## Ultraroel (Apr 12, 2016)

I'm an extrovert. I feel very comfortable in big groups, supposedly I have a big impact on the atmosphere at work etc. 
It's hard for my GF to understand that eventhough I am an extrovert, I really enjoy being alone for days on end. 
I do very well on my own and two or three times a month I just want to be alone.. all alone, except my dog... he can be there..

I realized when I was younger that I'm mostly floating between big groups. Never really part of a group, but always appreciated and accepted.. and that with most of them..
Not sure how you call this, but I hardly ever have a group of people that I really identify with.


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## Plasticweld (Apr 12, 2016)

Well now there are at least three of us here :}  I am very similar in the aspect of a lone time.  I work by myself for much of the day nor never had to be part of a group so that I felt like I had to fit it, but at the same time when there are people around I would consider myself an extreme extrovert.  Some of that may come from my belief that I can and do make a difference when it comes to things.  I am often amazed at the impact caring has, amazed at how much of a difference you can make by taking charge, verbalizing what needs to be done and then getting those around you involved.  I am  pretty sure it is not an ego thing, but more of a positive viewing of cause an effect when it comes to leadership.  I think being an alpha male may have something to do with but it.  It may have more to do with knowing that  you can really effect change by your actions and deeds that push me in that direction.


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## Sleepwriter (Apr 12, 2016)

I'm an extrovert in real life, but more introvert on the web.


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## escorial (Apr 12, 2016)

soba an introvert..drunk an extrovert...are we not all the same


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## PrinzeCharming (Apr 12, 2016)

Sleepwriter said:


> I'm an extrovert in real life, but more introvert on the web.



That's interesting. Do you understand why the two extremes? Is it the lack of face to face interaction causing you to step back? 



escorial said:


> soba an introvert..drunk an extrovert...are we not all the same



This is very common, except I am more of the opposite end. When I drink enough, I'll be the submissive one. :shock:


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## escorial (Apr 12, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> This is very common, except I am more of the opposite end. When I drink enough, I'll be the submissive one. :shock:



well man...that's just you//cool


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## Sleepwriter (Apr 12, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> That's interesting. Do you understand why the two extremes? Is it the lack of face to face interaction causing you to step back?




Yes it is.


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## dither (Apr 12, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> Wow, way to make a thread come back to life. I guess I added one more to the extroverts. It would be great to see an updated poll. I am curious to see how the numbers have changed. Have you ever thought perhaps you were too much of something? Being too introverted makes you shy vs. being too extroverted makes you obnoxious.



Oh dear,
i'm totally orange here.


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## Darkkin (Apr 12, 2016)

(,)about sums me up(,)


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## bobo (Jul 30, 2017)

Well, I believe we all can change between extrovert and introvert when wanting to 
Personally I'm mostly introvert, but can become extrovert if I discover something/-body interesting.
But having difficulties making new contact - no, I don't think so 
Making contacts are very easy - but is it worth while ??
Matter in fact I have an radiation which makes me the gluepaper of all too many - yrrrgh !!
Many friends – why on earth should a person have MANY friends – that’s actually not a quality sign.
I’ve become VERY selective, and will rather have none, than the wrong ones.
I am what they call the natural leader, and as such I have taken upon myself the leadership of both men and women ALL my life.
But not any longer, as retired I exercise the right to be myself, having the life as I please - and NOT being easily accesible to others 
– to put it simply: I will not be disturbed


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## sas (Jul 30, 2017)

Well, really folks, did anyone here think I could be an introvert? It sounds so restricting. There seems to be much angst among creatives, so I assumed results would tally more introverts. It appears that way. I am not one of them. I've never met a stranger. But, after meeting, I've made a few such.


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## Plasticweld (Jul 30, 2017)

bobo said:


> Well, I believe we all can change between extrovert and introvert when wanting to
> Personally I'm mostly introvert, but can become extrovert if I discover something/-body interesting.
> But having difficulties making new contact - no, I don't think so
> Making contacts are very easy - but is it worth while ??
> ...




I wrote a long post and then deleted it.   In a nut shell, this seems rather sad, I can only think of the things in life I would have missed out on had I a similar view.


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## sas (Jul 30, 2017)

P.S.

As some know, I left a 35 year marriage to an introvert. Left 18 years ago, and never regretted it, except for not leaving sooner. My family says he's still waiting for me "to come back and make his life interesting". Well, introverts, as a heads up, what do you do for others to bring something to the table for them? Are you the non-participant observer? (This is an actual psychological profile) You eat extrovert's interesting food, and maybe you bring bread. Being alone for me, is not a problem, being lonely with someone is intolerable. I escaped.


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## JustRob (Jul 30, 2017)

Apparently I have never subscribed to this thread. I am surprised at that. I thought I had. Well there's my answer then. Evidently whatever I decided wasn't worth posting for some reason. No idea what it was though, my being so erratic, sometimes even to the point of being consistent. I could make something up, I suppose. Introverts and extroverts both do that, so we're all okay here folks. Keep on writing!


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## Sebald (Jul 30, 2017)

Introvert. That's alright. We're easily-stimulated, never bored.


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## bobo (Jul 30, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> I wrote a long post and then deleted it.   In a nut shell, this seems rather sad, I can only think of the things in life I would have missed out on had I a similar view.



Sorry, but it's not at all sad 
It's a feast, it's a joy finally to be allowed to do what one wants to - .
Some think it has something to do with loneliness - not at all - how can you be lonely when always together with somebody interesting ??
Ah,  - you're an extrovert, that's why you think being with oneself would be a sad affair - ha, nothing farther from the truth 
To turn the tables I could say: Poor you, always so dependent of others


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## escorial (Jul 30, 2017)

I'm more of a pervert


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## Plasticweld (Jul 30, 2017)

It has nothing to do with being dependent on others, it is so very far from it.   It has to do with others who can depend me.  Being an introvert is a selfish frame of mind, you need only to read your words and those of other introverts to realize that.  I am a loner by heart, also a extrovert because of that heart.  Being an extrovert means I am the first to notice "you" the first to ask how things are going and can I lend a hand. For those that know me here on the site it is pretty common to get a message from me just wondering how you're doing or responding personally to something you wrote. I am also fortunate to have a few friends on here who do the same...it is the greatest gift I could  have.

Good friends are like gold to me, personally I am more than willing to sift through a mountain of gravel to gain just a few ounce of gold. 

I know how large my stock pile of gold is, as I said I know how small it would be if I held your beliefs.  That is not to say that my thoughts should be yours, but it does let you know why I would be sad over yours.  I am not trying to change you or anyone else, as I personally don't believe you can throw that switch on and off.  I can only share what the opposing side has.  

I don't have to give up anything to be an extrovert


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## Plasticweld (Jul 30, 2017)

escorial said:


> I'm more of a pervert



Yeah but your a friendly pervert!   :}


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## escorial (Jul 30, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> Yeah but your a friendly pervert!   :}



Would you like to see sum puppies


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## bobo (Jul 30, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> It has nothing to do with being dependent on others, it is so very far from it.   It has to do with others who can depend me.  Being an introvert is a selfish frame of mind, you need only to read your words and those of other introverts to realize that.  I am a loner by heart, also a extrovert because of that heart.  Being an extrovert means I am the first to notice "you" the first to ask how things are going and can I lend a hand. For those that know me here on the site it is pretty common to get a message from me just wondering how you're doing or responding personally to something you wrote. I am also fortunate to have a few friends on here who do the same...it is the greatest gift I could  have.
> 
> Good friends are like gold to me, personally I am more than willing to sift through a mountain of gravel to gain just a few ounce of gold.
> 
> ...



Well, as I think I've said several times on this site: We're all different beings.
If I understand you correctly, you would be sad, were you me ??
Then you're in luck, you're just you


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## ppsage (Jul 30, 2017)

Simplistic pseudo-psychology. Humans are never dichotomous.


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## Plasticweld (Jul 30, 2017)

ppsage said:


> Simplistic pseudo-psychology. Humans are never dichotomous.



Excellent insight.


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## SilverMoon (Jul 30, 2017)

> Originally Posted by *Plasticweld*
> 
> Being an introvert is a selfish frame of mind


With all due respect, I'm biting my tongue.

"Selfishness" does not figure in this topic. It's a character trait. It belongs to a thread of its own.

We're talking about person's comfort zones (extroversion/introversion) where the neurological plays a part which I'll address below.

First, I will say that I am of the same frame of mind as bobo and sas. Throughout my life, I've vacillated between extroversion and introversion in a large busy city.  Now, in my later years "Me Time" is well deserved, living by the shore.  

This quote comes to mind concerning nature of topic 

*"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people". *_*Eleanor Roosevelt*
_
Must I attend a gala event? Must I mingle with the "set"?...to be happy?  It's far more gratifying for me to take in other's thoughts and share my own. This brings about happiness for me and broadens my horizons.  

To the neurological, being familiar with how the chemical dopamine affects our brains..

Our brains are wired differently.The front part of the introvert's brain is more active and stimulated by solitary activities. The back part of the extrovert's brain is stimulated by sensory events coming from the external world.

This chemical dopamine is more prevalent in brain of the Introvert - that "feel good" chemical. On the other hand, extroverts need to rely on outside stimuli for that "feel good" factor, having less dopamine.

Interesting article: Is it a matter of wrong or right? https://introvertdear.com/news/intro...ng-to-science/ 




> Originally Posted by *ppsage*
> 
> Simplistic pseudo-psychology. Humans are never dichotomous.


  Humm, this quote is right up there with Eleanor Roosevelt's quote.....

Let up on the Introverts. You don't want Emile Zola, Emily Dickinson and co. to gang up on you.


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## Sebald (Jul 30, 2017)

escorial said:


> Would you like to see sum puppies



So you're an intropervert. Except when you're drunk. Then you're an intoxovert.


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## Plasticweld (Jul 30, 2017)

SilverMoon said:


> IN PROGRESS -Thank you
> 
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Terry D (Jul 30, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> It has nothing to do with being dependent on others, it is so very far from it.   It has to do with others who can depend me.  Being an introvert is a selfish frame of mind, you need only to read your words and those of other introverts to realize that.  I am a loner by heart, also a extrovert because of that heart.  Being an extrovert means I am the first to notice "you" the first to ask how things are going and can I lend a hand. For those that know me here on the site it is pretty common to get a message from me just wondering how you're doing or responding personally to something you wrote. I am also fortunate to have a few friends on here who do the same...it is the greatest gift I could  have.
> 
> Good friends are like gold to me, personally I am more than willing to sift through a mountain of gravel to gain just a few ounce of gold.
> 
> ...



We've traveled this ground before, but it has been a while so what the hell...

For the purposes of this thread, I'm an introvert. That doesn't mean I'm shy, or that I have trouble functioning within a group, large or small. It just means I don't feel any need to do so. I sure don't need extroverts feeling sorry for me, or telling me I have a "selfish frame of mind". I get pissed when self-proclaimed extroverts talk about introversion as if it is some sort of defect, or disease. Some of the most selfish people I know are extroverts who don't waste any opportunity to preach about how much they interact with others -- usually some poor introverts who needed rescuing from their overwhelming loneliness. I worked with a guy who was of the, "I never met a stranger" mentality. You couldn't have a conversation with this guy without being regaled with how many 'friends' he had. His idea of friendship was as shallow as were his real interactions with all his 'friends'. He also shares another trait I've seen a many extroverts, he is painfully insecure. His sense of self-worth (his 'gold') is tied to how others see him. He claims so many friends because without that feeling of acceptance, real or simply perceived, he is left with his own judgement about his self-worth and I think he finds himself lacking. I'm not saying that's the case with all extroverts, but he's not the only one I know who fits that description. Many extroverts behave like they have some huge hole inside of themselves that can only be filled by other people. That's sad.

My life is not empty. It's not lacking anything. The value of gold is a subjective thing. Some people need to dig and dig and dig always needing more. Some are happy with what they have.


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## sas (Jul 30, 2017)

I am an extrovert. I am sure introverts are correct when they say "their life is not empty".  But, and I say this with kindness, do you leave those around you empty?


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## SilverMoon (Jul 30, 2017)

> Originally Posted by *Plasticweld*
> 
> We don't have to wonder why we are the way we are...we already know, just ask us.


 LOL! So much for "Inquiring Minds Want to Know"


----------



## SilverMoon (Jul 30, 2017)

> Originally Posted by *Terry D*
> 
> For the purposes of this thread, I'm an introvert. That doesn't mean I'm shy, or that I have trouble functioning within a group, large or small. It just means I don't feel any need to do so. I sure don't need extroverts feeling sorry for me, or telling me I have a "selfish frame of mind". I get pissed when self-proclaimed extroverts talk about introversion as if it is some sort of defect, or disease. Some of the most selfish people I know are extroverts who don't waste any opportunity to preach about how much they interact with others -- usually some poor introverts who needed rescuing from their overwhelming loneliness. I worked with a guy who was of the, "I never met a stranger" mentality. You couldn't have a conversation with this guy without being regaled with how many 'friends' he had. His idea of friendship was as shallow as were his real interactions with all his 'friends'. He also shares another trait I've seen a many extroverts, he is painfully insecure. His sense of self-worth (his 'gold') is tied to how others see him. He claims so many friends because without that feeling of acceptance, real or simply perceived, he is left with his own judgement about his self-worth and I think he finds himself lacking. I'm not saying that's the case with all extroverts, but he's not the only one I know who fits that description. Many extroverts behave like they have some huge hole inside of themselves that can only be filled by other people. That's sad.
> 
> My life is not empty. It's not lacking anything. The value of gold is a subjective thing. Some people need to dig and dig and dig always needing more. Some are happy with what they have.




Terry, every word "gold". Back when I was a youg'n, my girlfriend who was quite gregarious rented a one bedroom apartment. Her first one. Within a month's time she advertised for a roommate. She told me she could not bear to live alone. Now, this introvert felt sorry for her. How horrible it must be not being able  to "live" in your own skin.

I have this quote *"If you're bored, it's your own damn fault".* For some extroverts, they try remedy boredom by surrounding themselves with people who are most likely just as bored with themselves. 

 I think this is what shallow cocktail parties are all about. And why I had always left them early because I didn't want to be my "damn fault"


​


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## Plasticweld (Jul 30, 2017)

An interesting take on things :}

http://soulspottv.com/blog/10-signs-your-personality-is-intimidating-others/


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## SilverMoon (Jul 30, 2017)

*
Humm, have we all been typing or pushing each other's buttons?

In any case, we're all on board!
*


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## SilverMoon (Jul 30, 2017)

> Originally Posted by *Plasticweld*                     An interesting take on things :}
> 
> http://soulspottv.com/blog/10-signs-...dating-others/



LOL! I knew I was a 10!


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## Kevin (Jul 30, 2017)

Mmm...I'm required to lie at work. I have to lie to liars so I'm like Dexter, a serial killer who only kills serial killers...to borrow another from another source-a movie reference-"but they were all bad". It's taking me awhile to get the hang of it. 

I'm wondering about backstabbing -  Oh! and 'throwing people under the bus'. I sort of don't get the metaphor, I mean, as everyone knows...throwing people is not easy. There heavy, and awkward. That's assuming you're not using a Judo move, you know... in an upright defensive posture, which perhaps makes me think it should be 'shoving' people under the bus, which I could see, you know , shoving someone from behind like Frank Underwood did to Chloe in House of Cards, which is a great show, by the way, if you want to learn about subterfuge and deciept-,I'm studying carefully... Oh dear, perhaps I've said too much.


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## Plasticweld (Jul 30, 2017)

SilverMoon said:


> LOL! I knew I was a 10!



I knew it all along :}


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## ppsage (Jul 30, 2017)

The Mooch, definitely extrovert. Bannon, maybe not so much.


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## Terry D (Jul 30, 2017)

sas said:


> I am an extrovert. I am sure introverts are correct when they say "their life is not empty".  But, and I say this with kindness, do you leave those around you empty?



No. Why would you think we would? Introverts aren't misanthropic hermits.


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## old.bull.lee (Jul 30, 2017)

I'm highly introverted. I spend a lot of time alone, which is both what I need and the way I like things. Social interaction (except when with the people I am most intimate with: family, girlfriends, close friends) tends to leave me feeling very drained and in need of space to recharge. I am probably somewhat of a 'loner.' I only have a handful of friends and out of those only two I'd consider myself close with. But, that's also the way I like it. I'd rather have two strong intimate friendships than a bunch of friends that are really little more than acquaintances. 

While I don't make new friends easily, it's not that I'm awkward or incapable of functioning in a group setting. One aspect of my line of work is speaking to people I don't know (be it cold calling them, walking up to them on the street to strike up a conversation, asking questions to high-profile individuals) and I excel at it. It's not that I can't speak to most people, it's that I find most conversation with others tedious and draining. I'm not into small talk. Maybe that sounds arrogant, but it's true. If you want to talk about literature or critical theory or philosophy or politics, I'm all game - the weather or the local sports team, not so much.

I get people here saying "introvert/extrovert, it's a pop-psychology distinction," and to some extent I agree, but at the same time I really am a _very_ introverted person. The label corresponds to how I am in the world. And while some of what I said above may sound conceited, it certainly doesn't come close to the palpable level of arrogance in comments about how introverts are missing out or leaving their loved ones feeling empty.


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## bobo (Jul 31, 2017)

sas said:


> I am an extrovert. I am sure introverts are correct when they say "their life is not empty".  But, and I say this with kindness, do you leave those around you empty?



Not the introverts, kiddo


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## Jack of all trades (Jul 31, 2017)

> . I worked with a guy who was of the, "I never met a stranger" mentality. You couldn't have a conversation with this guy without being regaled with how many 'friends' he had. His idea of friendship was as shallow as were his real interactions with all his 'friends'. He also shares another trait I've seen a many extroverts, he is painfully insecure. His sense of self-worth (his 'gold') is tied to how others see him. He claims somany friends because without that feeling of acceptance, real or simply perceived, he is left with his own judgement about his self-worth and I think he finds himself lacking.



I think this describes a narcissistic person, and they can be either introverted or extroverted.

I hesitate to try to put myself in either category. As others have already demonstrated, it is possible to have what's typically thought of as introverted traits _and_ extroverted traits.


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## JustRob (Jul 31, 2017)

escorial said:


> I'm more of a pervert



"per-" meaning "always" ("throughout" actually) and "-vert" meaning "changing", so "always changing". So that's the same as "erratic" isn't it?

P.S.
"erratic" in geology means a rock in the wrong place, having been displaced, so a rolling stone. So therefore a pervert is a rolling stone. Sounds about right Esc.


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## bobo (Jul 31, 2017)

Going !! :drunk:  :drunk:

- trying to prove you and Esc are brothers, J.R. ??


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## JustRob (Jul 31, 2017)

bobo said:


> Going !! :drunk:  :drunk:
> 
> - trying to prove you and Esc are brothers, J.R. ??



Everything in life is connected. It's the holistic view. That's probably why I haven't commented on the subject of this thread here. Extrovert and introvert behaviour is contextual as much as characteristic of an individual. There are situations where everyone is inclined to withdraw into themselves and others where all may participate, so these terms can apply to occasions as much as people.


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## Deleted member 56686 (Jul 31, 2017)

I just checked the poll numbers and I'm not surprised to see that the vast majority of us (me included) consider ourselves introverts. There are different levels of course. I actually am able to make friends rather easily, but I tend to be more comfortable alone at my computer which is why I spend a lot of time here. I also have a rather fertile imagination and the solitude allows me to express it in ways such as writing or imagining my own fantasy worlds (I'm actually working on a fictional account on what the aftermath might be like). Anyhow, these are things that keep me occupied.

So basically, I'd like to be more extroverted, but I'm a hermit at heart.  :geek:


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## escorial (Jul 31, 2017)

JustRob said:


> "per-" meaning "always" ("throughout" actually) and "-vert" meaning "changing", so "always changing". So that's the same as "erratic" isn't it?
> 
> P.S.
> "erratic" in geology means a rock in the wrong place, having been displaced, so a rolling stone. So therefore a pervert is a rolling stone. Sounds about right Esc.



yeah bro......

[video=youtube_share;aMuGvaIntRA]https://youtu.be/aMuGvaIntRA[/video]


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## JustRob (Jul 31, 2017)

To be extrovert one really has to like the society within which one lives. The alternative is to be an extrovert perpetually at loggerheads with it, or else an introvert. Humanity still regards society as being closely connected with geography, but the Internet is changing that. One can be a cyber extrovert even if one appears to be a geographical introvert. This doesn't mean that one is hiding from direct encounters but simply that geography makes the chance of like minds within their bodies meeting unlikely. 

If so many WF members claim to be introverts, what would a physical WF convention be like, were it geographically feasible? As I said, the terms depend entirely on the context.

A work colleague once said that the whole purpose of the Internet is to enable interaction with other minds without having to encounter the actual nasty smelly people. Is that really a fear, that illusions would be shattered if we ever met in reality? As English speaking people are we actually separated by far more than a common language and geographical distances? In fact, are fiction and our own imaginations key components of our community beyond their purpose within our literature? 

Are apparent introverts who share an inner space such as this here really any different from physical extroverts in principle? How many hands have I conceptually shaken since joining WF compared to the number that I shake physically? It's all the same to me.


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## sas (Jul 31, 2017)

This thread grabbed my attention because of my granddaughter, age 14,  (not my gay one, who is extroverted) who is introverted. No doubt, I'm probably over reacting in pointing out how I kinda see introverts as users, in their relationships. Those who profess here to be introverts have been nothing but generous to me, in extrovert fashion. But what about at home? At work? We are comfortably distanced on WF. 

Anyway, typical of this granddaughter, she had nothing to share about a recent family wedding with me. Our conversation was a typical introvert one.  I call it an interrogation. I ask question, she answers. The only difference was that a light wasn't  shined on her chair. She kept saying, "Well, what do you want to know?"   She was not generous in sharing . Yet, she'll listen and laugh at what others share. To me, a user. 

To make matters worse, she picked out a beautiful evening type dress for the reception, with all the accessories to wear. She is 5'7" and stunning. She loved this dress. When there, she pulled out a cotton dress and wore that. Everyone else was dressed up. So, no, I do not want her to be introverted. Life is too short, not to embrace all it has to offer.

But, like her gay sister, she is who she is. I worry about them both equally. Some do not see introversion as a handicap. I do. 

And, too many here mention parties when discussing this topic. It ain't about what happens at parties. It's what happens in ordinary, day to day life. I always felt my introverted former husband had inserted a straw into me, sucking out, but never filling me up with a damn thing. I started running on empty. 

Sorry for ramble, but this topic hit home. So, in short, introverts, fill those you love up from time to time, before they give you alone time forever.   Best. Sas

.


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## bobo (Jul 31, 2017)

JustRob said:


> To be extrovert one really has to like the society within which one lives. The alternative is to be an extrovert perpetually at loggerheads with it, or else an introvert. Humanity still regards society as being closely connected with geography, but the Internet is changing that. One can be a cyber extrovert even if one appears to be a geographical introvert. This doesn't mean that one is hiding from direct encounters but simply that geography makes the chance of like minds within their bodies meeting unlikely.
> 
> If so many WF members claim to be introverts, what would a physical WF convention be like, were it geographically feasible? As I said, the terms depend entirely on the context.
> 
> ...



Well as introvert, I can surely be extrovert on the net ... but only for a certain time, then I need my space again 
IF ever a huge congress should be initiated for our benefits .... I don't think I would participate in flesh, as I think the mindfood is better in a place/space where the physical is eliminated - yeah, that's it 
Normally when socializing I in advance have informed that I'll only stay for a  short time ... or if a bigger event: a couple of hours.


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## bobo (Jul 31, 2017)

sas said:


> This thread grabbed my attention because of my granddaughter, age 14,  (not my gay one, who is extroverted) who is introverted. No doubt, I'm probably over reacting in pointing out how I kinda see introverts as users, in their relationships. Those who profess here to be introverts have been nothing but generous to me, in extrovert fashion. But what about at home? At work? We are comfortably distanced on WF.
> 
> Anyway, typical of this granddaughter, she had nothing to share about a recent family wedding with me. Our conversation was a typical introvert one.  I call it an interrogation. I ask question, she answers. The only difference was that a light wasn't  shined on her chair. She kept saying, "Well, what do you want to know?"   She was not generous in sharing . Yet, she'll listen and laugh at what others share. To me, a user.
> 
> ...


Humans should be able to fill themselves up from the INSIDE, sas - extroverts as well as introverts.
Me think you're a little - what's it called - scalded may be, because of that husbond of yours.
Let me tell you another thing, interrogations after other people's experiences, to which one has no right - and one hasn't any right to that, whether or not in family - that's a sheer sign of domination, which most often will get the victim to withdraw further.
I had a father who tried to dominate my mother that way - I saw the result: withdrawal.
Sharing should be based on an inclination to share, and that alone.
You can indicate you would be interested, but it should be up to her whether she wants to share or not... she obviously don't, since you're resorting to sort of interrogation.
Poor child.
Don't be a climber, sucking life out of others.
Sorry for being so direct - but you yourself are very outspoken about your personal matters as thinkings/actions/feelings - which in my mind calls for a direct answer - at least sometimes


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## bdcharles (Jul 31, 2017)

Should introverts and extroverts be so "anti-" one another? Everyone's different. Peopling is a calling, a skill (and now, apparently, a gerund!) as much as solo reflection. Let's work together to celebrate one another's differences.

Personally I am sometimes one and sometimes the other, and must reject the false dichotomy of the poll. So there! I have spoken. Spake. Spuck.


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## sas (Jul 31, 2017)

bobo,  It is my granddaughter, not me, who makes communicating an interrogation. You have missed the point. Almost all cliches I've found to be true, and this one applies: You must give to receive. 

She is quite smart, but an introvert can rarely take point. And, that's a damn shame. It allows those with less sense to do it. Her extreme form of introversion (I did not give all examples) is like any other handicap that our family would address, and try to help overcome, before it holds her back. She may never take lead, but she needs to open her mouth, and let her exceptional brain speak. Families, who do not try to address this, at an early age, leave the world to those less talented.


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## Kevin (Jul 31, 2017)

bdcharles said:


> Should introverts and extroverts be so "anti-" one another? Everyone's different. Peopling is a calling, a skill (and now, apparently, a gerund!) as much as solo reflection. Let's work together to celebrate one another's differences.
> 
> Personally I am sometimes one and sometimes the other, and must reject the false dichotomy of the poll. So there! I have spoken. Spake. Spuck.


the dichotomy (thx for that word b.d. ) doesn't work for me, either. Take for instance, when I was a teenager..I couldn't get laid (no one I wanted to sleep with wanted to sleep with me).. 'Socially inept ' I'd call it, yet I had lots of friends, could talk to people, no problem. But...I read science fiction, read a lot of stuff, which is a totally 'introverted' activity ( and won't get you any unless you're at a nerd convention, and then only maybe). Okay, so I'm joking a little here, or a lot, but at the same time, not. The extrovert/introvert thing is too one or the other, the list, I mean, up at the top, is too restricted/doesn't work for me as I have most of those attributes in both columns depending on the mood, time of day, position of the moon ( who knows  why or when).


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## JustRob (Jul 31, 2017)

bdcharles said:


> Should introverts and extroverts be so "anti-" one another?



Introverts don't even get on with other introverts, let alone extroverts. Equally Extroverts may try to get on with introverts, which hardly helps. I'm not aware that there's any social segregation by type, just by personal inclination.

A long time ago my angel and a friend of hers thought that as both I and the friend's husband were intelligent but retiring types that we would have something in common. When the four of us got together at the suggestion of our wives we two men pretty much ignored each other. What else did they expect? Each of us had a more extrovert partner to represent us within society, so the relationships were introvert to extrovert partner but not introvert to introvert.


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## sas (Jul 31, 2017)

And, here is my warning to couples consisting of opposites. The extrovert often leaves. They get little out of the relationship. And, it will be the satellite who takes a hard fall.  I lasted 35 years (too many). My former husband has never recovered. Dated one time, in last 20 years (he is good looking & in shape). I asked him why he didn't date. He said it was too hard to "make conversation". My friends were his friends. He hasn't made a new friend.  He plays Sudoku. Hikes. Skis. Loner sports. I fear my granddaughter has his gene. It is disabling. 

My generation, and those prior, usually "stuck".  It is not so with contemporary couples. Opposites may attract, but, for longevity, both must provide glue. And, just "being present" doesn't glue anything.


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## Nellie (Jul 31, 2017)

bdcharles said:


> Personally I am sometimes one and sometimes the other, and must reject the false dichotomy of the poll. So there! I have spoken. Spake. Spuck.



YES! You have spoken for me, also. Growing up, I was extremely introverted, afraid to speak up and was very shy. Now as an adult, I decided it is time I will speak up and be extroverted.



			
				silvermoon said:
			
		

> To the neurological, being familiar with how the chemical dopamine affects our brains..
> 
> Our brains are wired differently.The front part of the introvert's brain is more active and stimulated by solitary activities. The back part of the extrovert's brain is stimulated by sensory events coming from the external world.
> 
> This chemical dopamine is more prevalent in brain of the Introvert - that "feel good" chemical. On the other hand, extroverts need to rely on outside stimuli for that "feel good" factor, having less dopamine.



After my brain injury, I ended up with less serotonin/dopamine flowing into my brain, therefore, I became a different person. I am both.


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## Nellie (Jul 31, 2017)

sas said:


> And, here is my warning to couples consisting of opposites. The extrovert often leaves. They get little out of the relationship.


:scratch: Really?  I was married to an extrovert... a REAL LOUD mouth! I was the one who left because I wasn't getting much out of the relationship. He was only into himself..... all about ME! Sort of like the guy in the WH. 




			
				sas said:
			
		

> My generation, and those prior, usually "stuck".  It is not so with contemporary couples. Opposites may attract, but, for longevity, both must provide glue. And, just "being present" doesn't glue anything.



My ex thought that "being present" was enough. He doesn't seem to believe in longevity when it comes to relationships.


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## bobo (Jul 31, 2017)

bdcharles said:


> Should introverts and extroverts be so "anti-" one another? Everyone's different. Peopling is a calling, a skill (and now, apparently, a gerund!) as much as solo reflection. Let's work together to celebrate one another's differences.
> 
> Personally I am sometimes one and sometimes the other, and must reject the false dichotomy of the poll. So there! I have spoken. Spake. Spuck.



A split personality ?? :mrgreen:



JustRob said:


> Introverts don't even get on with other introverts, let alone extroverts. Equally Extroverts may try to get on with introverts, which hardly helps. I'm not aware that there's any social segregation by type, just by personal inclination.
> 
> A long time ago my angel and a friend of hers thought that as both I and the friend's husband were intelligent but retiring types that we would have something in common. When the four of us got together at the suggestion of our wives we two men pretty much ignored each other. What else did they expect? Each of us had a more extrovert partner to represent us within society, so the relationships were introvert to extrovert partner but not introvert to introvert.



Couldn't you just sit there holding peace together - no need to talk all the time, that can be very disturbing - sometimes a smile is enough :tears_of_joy:


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## Kevin (Jul 31, 2017)

sas said:


> And, here is my warning to couples consisting of opposites. The extrovert often leaves. They get little out of the relationship. And, it will be the satellite who takes a hard fall.  I lasted 35 years (too many). My former husband has never recovered. Dated one time, in last 20 years (he is good looking & in shape). I asked him why he didn't date. He said it was too hard to "make conversation". My friends were his friends. He hasn't made a new friend.  He plays Sudoku. Hikes. Skis. Loner sports. I fear my granddaughter has his gene. It is disabling.
> 
> My generation, and those prior, usually "stuck".  It is not so with contemporary couples. Opposites may attract, but, for longevity, both must provide glue. And, just "being present" doesn't glue anything.


 okay, we get it.. You know the proper response is don't let the door hit you in the ass, which he evidently never got to. Oh well  ...but there is hope for your granddaughter. There are many examples of people coming out of their shell. Often it's right around puberty. I don't know how it is for females but for guys there's this little thing that happens; it sort of gets bigger and then starts getting in the way, getting hooked things, or stubbed when you're trying to do calisthenics. I mean this metaphorically, but all sorts of changes can happen, becoming more social being one of them. Just saying there's hope.


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## bdcharles (Jul 31, 2017)

sas said:


> And, here is my warning to couples consisting of opposites. The extrovert often leaves. They get little out of the relationship. And, it will be the satellite who takes a hard fall.  I lasted 35 years (too many). My former husband has never recovered. Dated one time, in last 20 years (he is good looking & in shape). I asked him why he didn't date. He said it was too hard to "make conversation". My friends were his friends. He hasn't made a new friend.  He plays Sudoku. Hikes. Skis. Loner sports. I fear my granddaughter has his gene. It is disabling.



But surely it's only disabling if one judges by the standards of extroversion. Yes, your granddaughter may be introverted and prefers her own company and may never make a convincing extrovert but is that the only game in town? Surely it's about finding one's strengths and playing to them, not living a poor copy of someone else's dream. Surely it's only an issue if she isn't living the life she wants to. In which case that's not introversion, that's social phobia.



Nellie said:


> YES! You have spoken for me, also. Growing up, I was extremely introverted, afraid to speak up and was very shy. Now as an adult, I decided it is time I will speak up and be extroverted.



I quite enjoy blowing hot and cold. It makes things interesting, albeit exhausting.  But yes, as a child I too was shy but I had all this joy and excitement in me that I could never get out for a variety of reasons. Now I've grown up and I have found ways to express it and I'll never stop. Writing's a big part of that actually.



bobo said:


> A split personality ?? :mrgreen:



Haha, I did wonder. I don't have a fixed mood or consistent energy levels. One day I'm all energised, the next I am sort of even, the next I can barely be bothered with anything.  I don't mind, but for people that meet me when I'm all _a-hey-hey-hey!_, I imagine they get a bit freaked out next time they see me pawing at my face and wigging out. I'm curious about people that are always the same. I want to ask them, "Do you only have the one setting?"


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## bobo (Jul 31, 2017)

"...._. I'm curious about people that are always the same. I want to ask them, "Do you only have the one setting?" .....

__Many of us have a business face/attitude - when working with many people every day, one cannot allow one's different moods - or likes/dislikes -  to influence may be important negotiations.
Not very clever showing disgust when trying to explain a young researcher why his work stinks - if the aim of the conversation is to get him a bit smarter _:fox:


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## sas (Jul 31, 2017)

Kevin,  Yes, just like math, conversation needs to be practiced. Best to do it first in a family setting. If you cannot do it there, find a corner in life and make yourself comfortable. And, idiots will tell you which corner. Find your tongue. And, for the record, some seem to be mixing up domineering personalities with those who enjoy conversing with and learning about others. We add depth to ourselves in that way.


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## andrewclunn (Jul 31, 2017)

Excuse me, where is the pervert option?


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## Sebald (Jul 31, 2017)

Andrew, you're the second man who found the label 'pervert' preferable to 'introvert'.


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## Sebald (Jul 31, 2017)

sas said:


> Kevin,  Yes, just like math, conversation needs to be practiced. Best to do it first in a family setting. If you cannot do it there, find a corner in life and make yourself comfortable. And, idiots will tell you which corner. Find your tongue. And, for the record, some seem to be mixing up domineering personalities with those who enjoy conversing with and learning about others. We add depth to ourselves in that way.



Wow, this thread got serious. Sorry you had that experience, Sas. Sounds as much about one person taking another for granted than an introvert/extrovert thing. 

I've been equally drawn to extroverts and introverts.


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## midnightpoet (Jul 31, 2017)

I was a loner growing up but in my late 20's I was promoted to buyer in a large corporation.  I immediately was thrown into a stew of salesmen, engineers, managers, field personnel and found that it energized me.  Business lunches grew to golf dates to parties to conferences to plant tours to mixing with all types of people.  I joined our professional association and became active on our board of directors in charge of activities like golf tournaments and such.  The more I mixed the better I got at it.  

I'll admit now that I've retired I've settled back into loner mode somewhat but have no problem dealing with people.  Having a sense of humor helped, and so did my writing ability - at work I wrote funny poems for birthdays and such and eventually joined several writing groups.

So what am I?  Never liked labels anyhow - but people can change, and I did.  If life throws you a curve, swing at it.


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## Bayview (Jul 31, 2017)

I've only read the posts since this thread re-activated--I didn't see anyone talking about this in those posts, but apologies if it was already covered in the earlier burst of writing...

I like the Jungian interpretation of Introversion/Extroversion, which bases the traits on where people gather their energy from - inside themselves or outside themselves. It's not about being shy or outgoing, not about being socially awkward or smooth, it certainly isn't about being crippled or capable, selfish or generous (?!?); it's just about energy. Introverts can be totally happy spending _some_ time with others, but then they need to time alone to recharge. Extroverts can be totally happy spending _some _time alone, but then they need something social to recharge them.

I'm a huge introvert, but I love getting together with my friends for drinks now and then. I'd rather go to a pub where we can talk than a club where dancing is the only form of communication, but I'm not hiding at home in my basement because I'm too shy/awkward/crippled/selfish (?!?) to go out. That said, I'd rather have one night out than go away for a weekend, or if I _do_ go away for a weekend I've learned to make sure to schedule a bit of time on my own to regain energy before going back for more fun.

I definitely think it's a spectrum, not a dichotomy, but there are those of us who are pretty far along the line toward one end or another. And as long as we accept who we are and don't try to force ourselves (or let others force us) to change? It's all good.


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## sas (Jul 31, 2017)

Midnight,  I think you'd agree, it's easier to start the change young. The teen years are to practice for the real deal, in everything. Those parents who allow noses in phones and almost mute behavior, while in the company of others, even their peers (!),  will be insuring their child will take the back seat (even if smarter) to those whose parents (and grandparents) didn't.


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## Plasticweld (Jul 31, 2017)

Like Silvermoon I had a brain injury about 25 years ago. I lost two years’ worth of memory and my short term memory for almost a year afterwards.  It took me that long to remember what I had done the day before. 

I had a business in hardware sales to farmers, about 650 of them, I kept note cards before the accident which referenced what we talked about, the social as well as the business stuff.  I created many close contacts and had some great relationships with my customers. I was a good salesman, still an extrovert, but not like I am today, which is much more open and receptive to what the other person is thinking and saying.   I had many of my customers who were close and I honestly had zero memory of some of them, they were in that lost time.  What I found is that when someone came up to me and said hello, I treated them like they were long lost friends. I asked how they were, about their kids, their farm and anything else that was going on in their lives.  Some of this was an effort to jog my memory, some of it was a way of hiding what had happened.

What I did find that even if we were not close back then we became close afterwards because of the attention I was paying to them "now"    That, combined with a hearing loss, I read lips and body language so I am very in tune with what people are saying.

Asking questions and being interested in the other guy, studying, their moods and reactions to what was said was always well received.   I saw firsthand the results of what reaching out to someone else did.  Saw firsthand what happens when you do more than just ask... and not wait for an answer when you ask how things are going?

Someone posted about gaining energy from this type of behavior, if having someone know you care gives you energy then I am guilty. 

What does astound me are those that are offended and by the reality of their personality and their only response is to attack someone who is not like them... that is downright pathetic.  


I have always thought of myself as a misfit on this site, I am a religious conservative who shares his opinions with those who I clearly know have no desire to share in my line of thinking. I don’t hide who I am and I don't recall ever trying to get anyone to switch teams. 


What has always made the WF work is that even though it is populated by introverts, they act like extroverts when it comes to helping others here learn to write.  When you post in any of the sub forums " How was Your Day" or some of the other forums in the lounge you are acting like extroverts sharing part of your life's an and commenting and offering encouragement or hope to people they know only by a screen name.  


To those introverts here who have helped me along the way, thank you very much for sharing your time and wisdom and helping me learn how to write.  For those with thin skin who I have pissed off, fuck them!  One of the great advantages of being an extrovert is there is no shortage of new friends and those aren't interested don't really matter.  

This site works not because we are alike, but very different.


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## SilverMoon (Jul 31, 2017)

> Originally Posted by *Plasticweld*
> 
> Like Silvermoon I had a brain injury about 25 years ago. I lost two years’ worth of memory and my short term memory for almost a year afterwards.  It took me that long to remember what I had done the day before.



Plastic, I never said that I had a brain injury. However, I am very sorry that you've had to undergo lose of time.

Apparently, there was a misunderstanding. What follows is my pointing to how our brains are wired differently.



> Originally Posted by*  SilverMoon*
> 
> To the neurological, being familiar with how the chemical dopamine affects our brains..
> 
> ...


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## Bayview (Jul 31, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> What has always made the WF work is that even though it is populated by introverts, they act like extroverts when it comes to helping others here learn to write.  When you post in any of the sub forums " How was Your Day" or some of the other forums in the lounge you are acting like extroverts sharing part of your life's an and commenting and offering encouragement or hope to people they know only by a screen name.



Being an introvert doesn't mean you don't help people!

This is a weird thread. I'm going to try to unsubscribe from it before I form more negative opinions of people...


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## Deleted member 56686 (Aug 1, 2017)

I think there could be a vibe going on where extroverts are claiming to be better than introverts. That is hardly the case in my experience. True, those who are considered extroverts have done some great things.

But look at this list I found that highlights some of the most famous introverts in history. They include Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks, Bill Gates, Steven Spielberg, Eleanor Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, and others. Yes, there are different levels of introversion, but the point is we still have good hearts.


So the point is nobody is superior. We are all different as Bob indicated and, for the most part, that's a good thing. It's when we try to convert the other side that we get into trouble. 

the article is here BTW: https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/23-amazingly-successful-introverts-throughout-history.html


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## Olly Buckle (Aug 1, 2017)

80% who see themselves as introverts, that surprised me. In one way I suppose writing is an occupation that you pursue alone most of the time, but on the other hand you are putting yourself out there. I wonder what will happen to you all if you become successful, your publishing company is going to want you to get out there and meet your public.

Like most people I am not entirely one way or the other, but I am more extro than intro most of the time, I had the training, three years as a bluecoat at a holiday camp, you are public property, available 24/7 pretty well, and to make it work you have to revel in it.


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## ppsage (Aug 1, 2017)

It's simply not a case of one or the other. It's a normal distribution like anything else, with 90% falling somewhere in between, mostly almost exactly in between. A person sometimes sees the need for cooperative interaction and sometimes a person sees the need for solitary concentration and they are generally able to behave accordingly. Out on each end of the distribution is pathology.

(And if Albert Einstein and Abraham Lincoln are considered introverted, then the term is meaningless.)


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## Deleted member 56686 (Aug 1, 2017)

To be fair, it's not a perfect list. There was at least one person that raised my eyebrows a bit, not because she was seen as an introvert, but because I don't see her as particularly great and I'm not sure Gandhi was especially introverted either given his ability to rally his supporters.

But then you have Dr. Seuss who was said to have panicked when he had to face children and, let's face it, the world would be a darker place without Green Eggs and Ham, so I stand by my earlier post.


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## PiP (Aug 1, 2017)

ppsage said:


> It's simply not a case of one or the other. It's a normal distribution like anything else, with 90% falling somewhere in between, mostly almost exactly in between. A person sometimes sees the need for cooperative interaction and sometimes a person sees the need for solitary concentration and they are generally able to behave accordingly. Out on each end of the distribution is pathology.
> 
> (And if Albert Einstein and Abraham Lincoln are considered introverted, then the term is meaningless.)



PP you have nailed it.


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## JustRob (Aug 1, 2017)

Do we have a definition of the terms for reference anyway? There are people who can only see their own view of things and those who can relate to others. Does this characteristic have anything to do with the intro-extro debate? What is a person who has their own self-centred self-opinionated view of the world if they seek to impose it on others to avoid considering theirs? That is a very different person from the one who seeks to understand the perceptions of others and assist them in coping with them. If extroversion is simply the degree of interaction with others without any distinction about its purpose, then one could say that extrovert behaviour can simply be a defence mechanism used by introverts to preserve their own illusions, which sounds ridiculous. So, what are we actually discussing here? I don't know, which is why I'm floundering.

My signature mentions sharing experiences, but sharing and imposing are different things. Sharers enter other people's worlds while imposers don't. How that relates to intro-extro I don't know. Introverts may also be keen observers, so potential sharers in a way that some apparent extroverts never are.

A macho extrovert type at our office once had a difficult encounter in the pub at lunchtime and felt that he had to leave rather than assault the man who was offending him, being a black belt at contact karate and hence quite lethal if he wished. I was back at the office on my own, preferring not to spend my time at the pub but to take a short lunch break so that I could leave work earlier to be with my angel. His desk was directly opposite mine so, brimming over with venom, he told me what had happened and I shared his experience while he cooled off. No doubt he had always seen me as an introvert wimp in his macho world; in fact he told me as much but he also told me that my perceptiveness and understanding then gave him a different, more appreciative, view of me. Hence there is no simple intro-extro debate here. There's much more to it than that.


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## Sam (Aug 1, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> It has nothing to do with being dependent on others, it is so very far from it.   It has to do with others who can depend me.  Being an introvert is a selfish frame of mind, you need only to read your words and those of other introverts to realize that.



Being an introvert or extrovert is not a frame of mind, nor is it a personality trait, nor is it anything that a person has control over. 

When I am amongst my peers, that is thinkers, I am what could be described as classically extroverted. In classroom situations, I can sit there for hours and listen to lectures, converse with fellow students, and contribute without expressing any of the typical introverted nuances such as shyness or lack of confidence. 

When I am sitting in a pub or a bar with my friends, whether it's a night out or a family gathering such as a wedding, I am what could be described as classically introverted. I am not at all comfortable. In fact, I rarely last beyond midnight in those scenarios because they drain me to the core. I've lost count of the times where I trundled home with a raging headache (and I don't consume alcohol) because of staying in that environment for too long. And it's not something I choose. Countless times I've sat at the keyboard and written into the small hours of the morning without blinking. 

I am both an introvert and an extrovert depending on the circumstances, location, and company. Classing that as a "frame of mind" is unmitigated bullshit.


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## Kevin (Aug 1, 2017)

Us and them... I find it curious that we constantly need to classify and categorize . It seems the result often is to marginalize and reject. Often that is the heart of religions, philosophies, watching Jerry Springer. There is a smugness there. We love comparing so we can denigrate the other and thereby pump ourselves up. We should stop that, really. There is no acceptance of the individual but a constant grouping. To what end? Why must we put people in neat little boxes of our mind's making? How about we look at ourselves, worry about our own flaws before we go after the other? This labeling and separating does nothing good, nothing positive. It is so often about bigotry, and prejudice. "Pre- judging"..:


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## bobo (Aug 1, 2017)

Kevin said:


> Us and them... I find it curious that we constantly need to classify and categorize . It seems the result often is too marginalize and reject. Often that is the heart of religions, philosophies, watching Jerry Springer. There is a smugness there. We love comparing so we can denigrate the other and thereby pump ourselves up. We should stop that, really. There is no acceptance of the individual but a constant grooping. To what end? Why must we put people in neat little boxes of our mind's making? How about we look at ourselves, worry about our own flaws before we go after the other? This labeling and separating does nothing good, nothing positive. It is so often about bigotry, and prejudice. "Pre- judging"..:



Kevin found his ax today 
Now he's telling the RoW (Rest of the World) what to do 
Kevin's segregated himself from those he's speaking to  - his congregation. 
- GOOD LUCK, Kevin :cheers:


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## Kevin (Aug 1, 2017)

bobo said:


> Kevin found his ax today
> Now he's telling the RoW (Rest of the World) what to do
> Kevin's segregated himself from those he's speaking to  - his congregation.
> - GOOD LUCK, Kevin :cheers:


No Bobo, i have no congregation nor do I desire one. If however, anyone would like to send me their tithe, I would reluctantly accept. Shit! I see I spelled 'grouping' double oo...


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## Terry D (Aug 1, 2017)

There still seems to be a thread running through this thread which portrays introversion as some sort of handicap. That introverts have trouble dealing with people and groups. In some cases, at the extreme of introversion, that is probably true, but the scale between introversion and extroversion is a continuum not an egg crate with individual slots neatly separated one from the other.

I am an introvert, but for more than 30 years my job has required that I work closely with many people. I have no problem doing that. I also teach. Again no problem. But I _am_ an introvert. I find those days when I teach I end my day feeling more drained than if I had spent the day doing manual labor. I can have fun at a neighborhood get-together, but I am more energized by spending time alone with my camera, or hours under the night sky with a telescope.

We'd do well to focus on the smoothly blended gradient of the continuum than to lock in on the extreme ends; the painfully, debilitatingly shy introvert, or the clingy, needs constant reassurance extrovert. Both ends do exist -- although few here have mentioned the downside of extroversion -- but, for the vast majority of us, being more toward one end than the other_ is not a problem _and is not something which needs fixed.

It's really as simple as this: Do you get your batteries recharged by being around other people? If YES then extrovert. Or, do you get energized by being alone? If YES then introvert.

Now, all you extroverts can go to a party somewhere and leave me alone...


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## PiP (Aug 1, 2017)

Terry D said:


> T
> 
> It's really as simple as this: Do you get your batteries recharged by being around other people? If YES then extrovert. Or, do you get energized by being alone? If YES then introvert.



What about if you are just comfortable in your own skin and both options apply? A bit like AC/DC


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## Terry D (Aug 1, 2017)

PiP said:


> What about if you are just comfortable in your own skin and both options apply? A bit like ACDC



Then you are sitting right at the center of the continuum, on the very peak of the bell-curve. You have achieved balance, grasshopper.


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## bdcharles (Aug 1, 2017)

PiP said:


> What about if you are just comfortable in your own skin and both options apply? A bit like ACDC



Look we're trying to get a game of seven-a-side going here. You can't be all fencey-sitty like that; choose a team.


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## Firemajic (Aug 1, 2017)

:surprise:   hummmmm..... I'm not sure what I am....  ok... ima extrovert with very little to say ... BUT mostly ima introvert with an occasional bizarre remark... well because of the alien abduction of course... sooooo.... I think that does make me a pervert who is a convert.... maybe.... beam me up I need solitude so I can hear the voices or is it vices.....


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## PiP (Aug 1, 2017)

bdcharles said:


> Look we're trying to get a game of seven-a-side going here. You can't be all fencey-sitty like that; choose a team.



That's just it... I've chosen AC/DC Who is with team AC/DC and Pippy? I don't fit in a box. (many a truth is said in just)


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## JustRob (Aug 1, 2017)

Terry D said:


> It's really as simple as this: Do you get your batteries recharged by being around other people? If YES then extrovert. Or, do you get energized by being alone? If YES then introvert.



I scored two NO's. That's probably why I haven't answered the poll.


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## SilverMoon (Aug 1, 2017)

I think we're coming close to having "The Intro*Extro* Bathroom Controversy"  :soap::cupcake:........​


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## Nellie (Aug 1, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> Like Silvermoon I had a brain injury about 25 years ago. I lost two years’ worth of memory and my short term memory for almost a year afterwards.  It took me that long to remember what I had done the day before.
> .



[-( :scratch: Where did _Silvermoon _mention "brain injury"? It was I who quoted her and said that I had a brain injury.



> Originally Posted by *silvermoon*
> To the neurological, being familiar with how the chemical dopamine affects our brains..
> 
> Our brains are wired differently.The front part of the introvert's brain is more active and stimulated by solitary activities. The back part of the extrovert's brain is stimulated by sensory events coming from the external world.
> ...



Plasticweld, please use the *QUOTE *button, the last one to the right. It does the other person a tremendous disservice when you _quote _them without the actual "quote".

Anyway, after my brain injury, I lost ten years of my life's memories. I see pictures of myself with my two kids and don't remember. They ask, " don't you remember, mom?" 
So to me, I'm both.


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## ppsage (Aug 1, 2017)

We have of course, so far failed to examine the monsters of history to see where we think they fall. The ones who have killed and ruined and stolen without compunction. Genghis and Caligula and Adolf and you get the idea. This is dangerous territory for discussion, but part of the consideration. Leadership and charisma are not necessarily put to the proper ends.


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## Terry D (Aug 1, 2017)

ppsage said:


> We have of course, so far failed to examine the monsters of history to see where we think they fall. The ones who have killed and ruined and stolen without compunction. Genghis and Caligula and Adolf and you get the idea. This is dangerous territory for discussion, but part of the consideration. Leadership and charisma are not necessarily put to the proper ends.



I'll bite. Did some real quick research and here are some guesses:

Genghis Kahn -- Extrovert. He was very charismatic, very bold. Surrounded himself with many different sorts of people (many of his aides were former enemies).

Caligula  -- Extrovert. A definite party guy.

Adolf Hitler -- Introvert. Shy, sensitive, even those closest to him said he kept to himself.

Ted Bundy -- Extrovert. Always liked being the center of attention. Very skilled socially.

John Wayne Gacy -- Introvert. Few friends. A classic 'loner.'


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## Kevin (Aug 1, 2017)

All of our ancestors killed with or without compunction. But I think that history is mostly only written in our Dna. I'd say Hitler backfired. Ghengis khan, not so much. His DNA is still pretty widespread.


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## LeeC (Aug 1, 2017)

ppsage said:


> We have of course, so far failed to examine the monsters of history to see where we think they fall. The ones who have killed and ruined and stolen without compunction. Genghis and Caligula and Adolf and you get the idea. This is dangerous territory for discussion, but part of the consideration. Leadership and charisma are not necessarily put to the proper ends.



Thought of that, re more recent politicians, but didn't want to stir a hornets nest ;-)



Terry D said:


> I'll bite. Did some real quick research and here are some guesses:
> 
> Genghis Kahn -- Extrovert. He was very charismatic, very bold. Surrounded himself with many different sorts of people (many of his aides were former enemies).
> 
> ...



Umm, dare I ask where Dick Cheney falls?


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## bobo (Aug 1, 2017)

Terry D said:


> ... Do you get your batteries recharged by being around other people? If YES then extrovert...



- and Energy Vampyre irate:


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## BlondeAverageReader (Aug 1, 2017)

[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]Introvert or Extrovert [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]Why would l choose to be[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]Under either of these headings [/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]Because neither of them's me[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText][/FONT]
[/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]You can't classify this angel[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]Being boxed is not for me[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]I vote AC/DC joining Pippy[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SF UI Text][FONT=.SFUIText]Us blondes need to be free.[/FONT][/FONT]
[FONT=.SFUIText]
[/FONT]


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## bobo (Aug 2, 2017)

Sam said:


> ...When I am sitting in a pub or a bar with my friends, whether it's a night out or a family gathering such as a wedding, I am what could be described as classically introverted.
> I am not at all comfortable. In fact, I rarely last beyond midnight in those scenarios because they drain me to the core. I've lost count of the times where I trundled home with a raging headache (and I don't consume alcohol) because of staying in that environment for too long. ..



That's called an introvert hangover


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## bobo (Aug 2, 2017)




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## bobo (Aug 3, 2017)

[h=3]“Isn't it refreshing to know that what comes perfectly natural for you is your greatest strength? 
Your power is in your nature. 
You may not think it’s a big deal that you can spend hours immersed in something that interests you—alone—but the extrovert next door has no idea how you do it.”[/h]_Laurie A. Helgoe, Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength_


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## bobo (Aug 4, 2017)

“We can't underestimate the value of silence. 
We need to create ourselves, need to spend time alone. 
If you don't, you risk not knowing yourself and not realizing your dreams.”


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## haribol (Aug 4, 2017)

I am by nature an introvert. Introversion has been though my state of nature since my babyhood later on I tried to switch to extroversion, to be in society with the people. But it is really difficult to overcome certain traits of nature which is in our very DNA. As a banker working in the customer service department I had to interact with them and yes I tried to be talkative but deep down I always remain an introvert. Everyday I make endeavors to socialize and mix up with people and be an outgoing personality but at the very core I am an introvert and will always be the same.


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## Winston (Aug 4, 2017)

Introvert.

"Be Still, and Know."


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## bobo (Aug 5, 2017)

haribol said:


> ... Everyday I make endeavors to socialize and mix up with people and be an outgoing personality but at the very core I am an introvert and will always be the same.



Couldn't you just limit the sessions in time ??
Prepare something about the weather - or may be a joke ??


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## Tella (Aug 5, 2017)

I wouldn't define myself as introvert as I would 'a likable sociopath and proud of it.' Can't get enough of myself. Leave me alone in a room for a whole month and YOU'll go insane, not me.


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## kaufenpreis (Aug 8, 2017)

Personally I am sometimes one and sometimes the other, and must reject the false dichotomy of the poll.


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## Jan (Aug 8, 2017)

I am definately an introvert. Having been diagnosed with high functioning autism & not having any irl friends pretty much concludes that. 

Sometimes I wonder if my life would be very different if I werent those things though. I guess i'll never know.


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