# Can you write when life has you down?



## RoundEye (Nov 19, 2010)

When certain things happen in life can you write? I’m not talking about if you’re Co-Co Puffs got too soggy, I’m talking about certain events that will change your life. I’m going through a divorce right now and this month’s writing prompt really hit home. “reply to a love letter”. I feel like I could write that one but I may make it too personal and I wish not to. When life has you nailed to a wall can you still write proficiently? I’m wondering if I’ll still be able to write after this passes or if it has affected me that much I’ll never be able to write a fictional story again.

*EDIT :*

Can a mod move this to the lounge?


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## Olly Buckle (Nov 19, 2010)

I am sorry to hear about the divorce Tobey. But of course the answer is yes, think of people like George Orwell, or all those depressed Eastern Europeans. Not Kafka though, he just got too depressed, don't end up like that, life is to be lived for as long as you can manage because you never know what is around the corner next, and you are due a decent break.


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## Scarlett_156 (Nov 19, 2010)

I have buds who claim they CAN'T write unless their lives and circumstances are bad, but sometimes I wonder if that's just part of an excuse to drink a lot and otherwise run to excess. 

Anyway, to answer your question:  I can sometimes distract myself from feeling terrible by taking up some project or another that I had left lying about before.  That doesn't work 100% of the time, but sometimes it does.  If I'm angry at someone, then I can vent some of my anger in a relatively harmless manner by writing nasty rhymes about him or her--that also does not always work, and sometimes in fact makes things worse.  

You pretty much have to play the ball as it lies, and don't force yourself to write if you don't feel like it, unless you have deadlines, contracts, etc.  

I am sorry to hear about your hard times.  I know this sounds sort of blasphemous for someone to say this when you're suffering, but:  I know you'll get over it, and once you do, your writing will be all the more sound for the experience.


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## caelum (Nov 19, 2010)

Really sorry to hear that, RoundEye.  Hope it all works out.


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## Foxee (Nov 19, 2010)

Sorry to hear this, Tobey, a divorce on top of illness really does seem like overkill. As for writing in adversity I've heard the same thing, that if some writers are too comfortable they can't really write anything worth reading. In my case it might affect what I feel like writing to some extent and if I'm really low I might not feel like writing anything at all. Still, I'm pretty far down right now and trudging my way through NaNoWriMo. Pain in the butt, but it's writing.


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## Kat (Nov 19, 2010)

Sorry to hear about that. If you were here I'd give you a big hug. 

I write more when I'm depressed. I have insomnia really bad when things are bothering me so I'll stay up all night writing.


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## Eluixa (Nov 19, 2010)

Thinking it would a very good idea to write our current LM. And then choose to share it with us or not, though I hope you do. 
Courage and strength for your situation and hope.


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## RoundEye (Nov 19, 2010)

I hope that personally feeling all of life’s emotions makes me a better writer in the long run. Joy, happiness, adversity, depression. I am down at the moment but I know with some time I’ll be back up. It just seems like that journey back up is such a long way away right now. I need a new signature,

_ Absolutely, positively never give up. That decision is entirely unacceptable. _

I just hope to be able to write legibly again one day.


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## Olly Buckle (Nov 20, 2010)

I love that line from Seneca that fleamailman quoted. I know that you have been inspirational to people here in the past with the way you have coped, I have faith in you, you're a survivor.


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## Tom (Nov 20, 2010)

Ah, Roundeye, that sucks, I'm really sorry to hear about the divorce.

Personally, I always found that it had a lot to do with context. Love is an emotion that evokes more than just a positive feeling, it can create anger, sadness, despair, so when it comes to writing your feelings about 'love' in general it tends to be more difficult (for me anyway) than if I was just angry about a situation and wanted to create a short piece about it.

But I mean, I think there's a level. I think if you get dropped in it deep enough, writing can be very difficult non-dependant on the extreme emotion you're feeling. While away in West Africa we were given a journal and supplied with 30 minutes every night to write in it. On most nights, I couldn't write anything, and I was supposedly the 'writer' of the group. It was difficult for me to write anything with all these new images and emotions whizzing around my mind.

Though when time passed, and things settled, it was easy to write and recall the feelings - it was just feeling the feelings that prevented me from expressing them. Funny eh?


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## Like a Fox (Nov 20, 2010)

Once in a writing class we were asked to write a 'Happy Divorce' speech. Kind of an ironic whatever.
I wrote mine about my parents. And then I had to stand in front of the group and read it.

Well, I shook with real emotion and nearly cried. The class didn't know what to say (I'm not known for being serious).
The emotions then took over and forced my hand, and in retrospect, it's quite a good bit of writing.

I do let being down stop me from getting stuff done though.
I've had a hard year with sick parent and too much on my plate. As a result - I haven't done much writing.
I don't think I _should_ let it stop me. But sometimes it does.

If you think writing will help to get some of what's in your head out and onto the page, then you should.
*Hugs* Hate to imagine all the crap you're going through right now.


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## RoundEye (Nov 20, 2010)

Olly Buckle said:


> I love that line from Seneca that fleamailman quoted. I know that you have been inspirational to people here in the past with the way you have coped, I have faith in you, you're a survivor.



Thank You

I think that is what makes some people mad, that I’m still here. They are just in awe that I’m still able to get up and move around after what I’ve been through. I could write out a list of the physical and mental trauma I’ve been through, I still bear the scars to prove it. I think it makes some people mad because I’m still chugging along somewhat oblivious to my surroundings. What else am I to do, give up? Nope, no way. If the good die young, my bad ass will live forever.

Thank you again


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## Branlees (Nov 25, 2010)

People love for others to fail, especially when they can actually watch it happen.  Hard to imagine life without the other one sitting on the couch across from you, or nagging you when you would otherwise think you were better off without it.  Grass isn't always greener over there, but it might be - you just need to walk further from the fence once you cross it.  You do what is best for you, don't try and replace the absence.  Heal and forgive.  Write your ass off in the process, could be art.


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## RoundEye (Nov 26, 2010)

I was never one to run to the doctor for drugs every time I felt bad. The neurologist for my MS prescribed me some antidepressants, I must admit they seem to be helping.  What I noticed is I’m starting to care about things again. Before I didn’t care for a damn thing, except for the well-being of my son.


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## InSickHealth (Nov 29, 2010)

Personally, I do my best writing when I am down. Of course, I have a personal issue where I don't think I can relate to anyone, because I don't think that anyone can relate to me. I am horrible at "sharing my feelings" with anyone in a regular conversation, so I translate them to a story. The story may have nothing to do with what I am feeling at the time, but somehow my current views on life still shine through the text. Though people may still not know exactly what is going on in my life, I feel like they can relate to the feelings that I am dealing with.

With that being said, I am in a pretty constant state of mild depression. It's not that I don't think that I can pull myself out of it, but writing is the only way I can relate to others, and the only way I feel like others can relate to me. I love to write, and I'm pretty sure that if I was happy and everything was sunshine and rainbows (bad example... I live in Maui), then I wouldn't have much to write about.

My advice in your situation (sorry to hear about the divorce, by the way) is to just write. Don't worry about the tone of it. Just write the story that you would want to read in your current state. It's very therapeutic, and it is almost sure to yield something that others will enjoy if you decide not to hold back. Like I said, it doesn't have to be related to anything that you are going through. Just write what YOU want to read.


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## I-FLUX (Nov 30, 2010)

I am sorry to hear that, RoundEye.


As for the question: Yes, I can write when life changes me in a bad way. 
I live in Japan and Japanese entrance exams are so intelligence-centered and the tests are quite hard. I spent elementary to middle school in USA, thus completely lacking any Japanese studies.  I wanted to become a doctor, but faculty of medicine is the #1 hardest faculty to get into out of all other faculties, thus it required me to study a lot. I went back to Japan when I was 3rd grade Junior High, and only having 4  (technically 3 years) to prepare for College exams in a place like  Japan is terribly difficult and has way too much handicap compared to other normal students. So I studied a lot. But guess what, I failed and entered Science and Technology instead.

At first it doesn't sound like a big deal to you people because I am still 19 years old and I have plenty of chances of being successful. But I am telling you. I wanted to become a doctor since 8 years-old, and despite my effort, I failed and I had to throw away that possibility. I am ugly, stupid, terribly short, and can't do anything , good-for-nothing piece of shit, while my family and friends have almost everything of those. I don't need anything, but I want something. But I don't even have that something. So my only hope was to become a doctor, hard working doctor that people will admire, which proves that efforts can mean something. I was a delinquent back in USA but quit after coming to Japan. But right off the bat, one guy terribly humiliates me in front of the whole grade punching me in the face. I endured it because I knew I quit delinquent and should move to the right direction. He made be bow in front of everyone. And since my school had junior and senior high together, everyone looked at me as if I was a shit for 4 years. But I thought effort can eventually pay-off, so I endured everything for this one goal to become one of the greatest doctor. But it didn't happen. Effort got me nowhere. I was just a wasted effort. I should have used my time for playing than doing any futile effort. The hope is gone. I absolutely have no idea why I am in Science and Technology. My life has been going downhill ever since I was born to a such talented family, I always wonder why I am ugly when everyone else is not and I sometimes doubt myself being a real child. My inferiority grows each day and it has been torturing me for 19 years. I sure want to stop comparing myself to others, but I live in a society. You can't live being absolute. You live relative to others. And the serious grudge and hatred against that asshole grows everyday. It's been torturing me since my life started and it's still torturing me today. My sister wants to become a doctor and I'm pretty sure she will, which would further prove the shittiness of me.


But no one cares because to other people, I just look like a normal guy born to a great talented family. My family is fairly wealthy, I have great siblings, no major relationship problems, goes to Hokkaido University (Suzuki Akira received Nobel Prize in Chemistry this year and he graduated and taught in this university). There seems like there are absolutely no apparent problems in my life. But the problem I hold comes from the inside of me. It's nothing apparent. Thus, my family won't understand, no one will. So no one cares and no one knows. It's just me.

And what am I doing today? I still study hard even though there is no purpose to it. I feel like an idiot. If you ask me who I hate the most, it's gonna be me.




However, writing novels and studying some philosophy gave me tiny bit of light. I express myself in these writing along with philosophical meaning to it, which is somehow satisfying. So I am rather encouraged to write, the more my life goes downhill. Writing is probably the only thing that is keeping me together. Otherwise, I would've died a year ago.


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## DELFIA (Nov 30, 2010)

InSickHealth said:


> Personally, I do my best writing when I am down. Of course, I have a personal issue where I don't think I can relate to anyone, because I don't think that anyone can relate to me. I am horrible at "sharing my feelings" with anyone in a regular conversation, so I translate them to a story. The story may have nothing to do with what I am feeling at the time, but somehow my current views on life still shine through the text. Though people may still not know exactly what is going on in my life, I feel like they can relate to the feelings that I am dealing with.
> 
> With that being said, I am in a pretty constant state of mild depression. It's not that I don't think that I can pull myself out of it, but writing is the only way I can relate to others, and the only way I feel like others can relate to me. I love to write, and I'm pretty sure that if I was happy and everything was sunshine and rainbows (bad example... I live in Maui), then I wouldn't have much to write about.


 
I second every word written here.


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## RoundEye (Dec 2, 2010)

I-Flux that is a horrible story to raise spirits by, but I don’t care how poorly I felt about myself, nobody and I mean nobody is punching me in the face and getting away with it. It may be some big guy that eventually stomps my ass into the ground  but that doesn’t mean he won’t feel whatever wrath I can hand out.


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## RoundEye (Dec 2, 2010)

fleamailman said:


> "...well now..." started the goblin once more, continuing "...clearly, nothing I'd ever say here would change matters one bit, yet I'm an avid reader who would appreciate your posts as something more alive and real than anything some fiction-book might conjure up, so I for one am your reader now, where if you can post on against it, and in spite of it, and throughout it too, then doesn't that in itself show you to yourself in a way that none my words possibly could...", in fact, the goblin mostly played "last post" in the game section, fat help he was to anyone then, adding "...ah no, I never play tag per say, that is I never tag a thread just to show some shallow sense of support or participation here, oh no, each post I do has to merit its posting to me, or else I just don't bother to post at all...", where perhaps the consensus on the lupusbots forum was *"to live is to win*, where *to post is to win* too, but where again, *to build up those wins* was the actual triumph then"


 

Thank you

…………………………… I think


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## twopenbit (Dec 4, 2010)

I can only write when "life has me down." Lately, I've been suffering from writer's block caused by too much of a good life!


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## Gumby (Dec 4, 2010)

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, Tobey. Having been through one myself, I can only say that though it was hell at the time, I'm better for it now. I hope that will be the case for you also, in time.


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## CineNovel (Dec 6, 2010)

RoundEye. I've often asked myself that question; does great writing come from great joy or great despair? Consider Paul Schrader, who wrote Taxi Driver in ten days during a disturbing bout of insomnia that had him wandering the streets of New York, if pain pays off.


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## Jane Martin (Dec 9, 2010)

RoundEye, having read this thread I feel for you, as a writer and as a person.  The two are inseperable though- anything which affects you deeply as a person will affect you as a writer.  I think the question in my head is how it affects you and what you do with it.  By the sound of things you have it in you to grow from what has been thrown at you.  Maybe you'll find new depths you didnt know you had- depths of strength and emotion that previously you've only partially explored.  It can be painful but it could be a real asset to your writing.


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## blackthorn (Dec 9, 2010)

Sorry to hear about your troubles, RoundEye. Hope everything works out for you.

As far as moods while writing: I hate to say it, but I think I write _better_ when my life's not going the way I want it to go. I feel like I have to put everything down on paper, right down to the very last emotion. When things in my life are going great, I tend to spend more time doing those great things instead of writing. Which is bad, I know, but what can I say. Anyway, I think that all of us should be spending as much as possible no matter what the circumstances in our life are. Though I'll be the first to say that that usually isn't how it works out, you've got to keep working at something consistently in order to keep getting better at it.


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## RoundEye (Dec 9, 2010)

I think when I’m down I sink further into my writing to try and forget about my troubles around me. It picks up a dark tone though.


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## Sync (Dec 9, 2010)

A sad circumstance, Roundeye. I've been through a divorce and even though it wasn't 'ugly' its was still 'painful'. 

You pose a good questions.

In a way I think you could write the best now. The reason I say this is because that inner editor gets told to 'sit down and zip it'. Sometimes things need to be let out, nothing says you have to share with anyone. I used to do this: Open a blank word doc. move the cursor into it. turn off the monitor. type. it didn't have to be about anything in direction, no grammar, no inner editor, nothing by words....whoosh. So I'd type, repressing words is a horrible thing for a writer.

Please forgive me for saying all this, I know that I'm new here, and I just read your initial post because of that, and then came here.

Just my thoughts, if they go against a grain, just step over them.

Sync


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## RoundEye (Dec 9, 2010)

Sync, every thought is useful in some kind of way.


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## KraftyCatch (Dec 10, 2010)

oh absolutely you can write again and you will  I have found in my personal experiences that these challenges can improve your writing and can literally pivot it in new and exciting directions.  I believe when you are 'down' you can reach real emotions that can touch others lives and put incredible depth into a story.  I understand it is a difficult time and very challenging but I can say that it is very helpful to write when your feeling down, as you can discover all sorts of new emotions.  It gives you the opportunity to come at something from a different and new perspective.  Use it to your advantage......there is opportunity in every challenge.  Good luck


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## KraftyCatch (Dec 10, 2010)

Branlees said:


> People love for others to fail, especially when they can actually watch it happen.  Hard to imagine life without the other one sitting on the couch across from you, or nagging you when you would otherwise think you were better off without it.  Grass isn't always greener over there, but it might be - you just need to walk further from the fence once you cross it.  You do what is best for you, don't try and replace the absence.  Heal and forgive.  Write your ass off in the process, could be art.



Well said....beautiful.


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## I-FLUX (Dec 10, 2010)

"People love for others to fail, especially when they can actually watch it happen" - *Branlees*
This is pretty epic quote. It somewhat reminds me of song "Vicarious" by TOOL.


To be honest, a bit cruel reality, but people can become happy only when they know what sadness is. You can't have one only and not the other. You have to have both of them. Moreover, people could become far more happy being successful after terrible life than successful after "(looks like) good" life. So being more sad means more potential of becoming happier than most population. Being more happy means more potential of becoming sadder than most population. Happiness are more absolute than relative most of the time. Relative happiness are far less in quality than Absolute happiness. You always want absolute happiness. Although being able to actually become happy or not is another problem, of course.

Think about it this way: can we ever find a novel without a conflict? A novel without a conflict is crap. Because there is a conflict, we can enjoy the ultimate result (resolve). You can't resolve something if you have no conflict. So more likely, people who have terrible conflict in their life are likely to write more quality detailed conflict than cliche boring conflicts that some people with minds filled with flowers write, thus better story overall.




So it's definitely a waste if you don't write when life let's you down. It's when your writing shines.


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