# I Don't Do Drugs



## BruceDowns

1 INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - EVENINGFADE INA high school junior, JAKE, sits studying at his desk in hisroom.The desk is littered with S.A.T. study guides and papers.On the desk, a digital clock reading 6:30pm sits next to a fullcup of coffee and a picture of his girlfriend Alice.As Jake turns the page, his cell phone rings.JAKESteve-O, whaaaaat's up?STEVE (V.O.)Dude! Andy's having a killer partytonight in the field.JAKEAggh. I can't.CUT TO2 INT. STEVE'S HOUSE - EVENINGSTEVEWhat do you mean you can't? This isgoing to be epic!JAKE (V.O.)I have to study for tomorrows S.A.T.STEVECome on! You've been studying for thepast three weeks straight.JAKE (V.O.)Yeah, and I haven't slept in two days,I'm low on caffeine pills and if I don'tget into TECH my parents are going tokill me.STEVEHave you tried the stuff I gave you lastweek?CUT TO3 INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - EVENINGJAKENo way, like I told you I'm not going totake that stuff.​1 of 10​STEVE (V.O.)Dude, like I said if you take it, youwill be up all night long. It's your ifyou need it.JAKEAlright man. Later.STEVE (V.O.)Later.Jake hangs up and immediately goes back to studying.FADE TO BLACK4 INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - NIGHTThe clock, which now reads 8:30pm, is now surrounded by emptybottles of energy drinks.Jake looking very tired takes a sip of the coffee, rubs hiseyes, stretches, and continues studying.FADE TO BLACK5 INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - NIGHTAs the clock strikes 11:00pm, more bottles of energy drinkslitter the desk.Jake attempts to study, but continues to nod off.Frustrated, Jake opens the desk drawer and pulls out a box of"stay awake" caffeine pills.He pulls out a sheet of bubble packs and begins to panic as itis empty.He pulls out a second sheet only to find 4 pills left.JAKEI guess these will have to do.Jake takes all the pills at one time, swallowing them with hiscoffee.JAKEWell it better do it!Jake looks back into the empty box and sees the pill that Jakegave him is all that is left.Jake reaches in the box and grabs the pill and stares at it indeep thought.FADE TO BLACK​2 of 10​EXT. FIELD PARTY - NIGHTSTEVE and three other friends stand by a group of cars while abonfire burns in the background.Music blares in the background as some kids dance, while othershangout or sitting on blankets around the bonfire.One guy is video taping the party, asking everyone what theyplan on doing during the summer, what school they will go to,etc.One guy hits golf balls out into the field.In the parking area, a girl angry with her boyfriend locksherself in his car while her boyfriend and her friend try to gether out.FRIEND1Isn't that Alice?STEVEWhere?The four look over to see Jake's girlfriend Alice laying on ablanket making out with another guy.FRIEND2Ohhhh. Yes it is!FRIEND3Uhhh, What about Jake? Did they breakup?FRIEND1No - Who is she with?FRIEND2I think it's Chris.STEVEJake is going to be pissed!CUT TO7 INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - NIGHTThe clock, which now reads 11:30pm, Jake is now flipping throughthe pages, wide awake when his cell phone rings.JAKEPlease don't tell me how awesome theparty is.STEVE (V.O.)So, apparently I'm not the only one who​3 of 10​thinks it's awesome.CUT TO8 EXT. FIELD PARTY - NIGHTSTEVEAlice sure is enjoying herself.JAKE (V.O.)Alice? What's she still doing there?Steve looks over his shoulder to see Alice still kissing Chris.STEVEShe's sticking her tongue down Chris'sthroat!CUT TO9 INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - NIGHTJAKE(Pissed off)I'm going to kick his ass! (ALT: I'mgoing to kick his butt!)Jake slides the cell phone into his pocket and sneaks downstairsto the kitchen.As he passes the living room, he sees his father asleep on thecouch and his mother watching TV.Jake grabs his keys and sneaks out of the house.CUT TO10 INT. JAKE'S CAR - NIGHTAs Jake drives down the road, he receives a picture on his cellphone.The picture is of Alice and Chris kissing.Something in Jake snaps -- he grits his teeth and slams hispedal to the metal and speeds towards the party.CUT TO11 EXT. FIELD PARTY - NIGHTSteve laughs as he snaps another picture.STEVE(to his friends)This is going to be fun!​4 of 10​CUT TO12 INT. JAKE'S CAR - NIGHTJake speeds into the field parking area, looking from side toside as if he is looking for Alice's car as he drives pastparked cars.Three people catch his eye standing at a parked car.They appear to him as zombies feeding from a person on theground while looking back over his shoulder he hears THUMP ashis car runs over something. Rides over a BUMP. Jake slams thebrakes.JAKEOh No!CUT TO13 EXT. FIELD PARTY - NIGHTJake gets out and runs around the car and finds a bodyunderneath.Jake looks around to see if anyone has noticed.He turns back to see a leg moving. Jake slides the body out fromunder the car, a zombie emerges.Jake falls back scared and scrambles to his feet.As he turns to run, he sees a group of zombies moving towardshim from the parked car.Panicking, Jake runs towards the bonfire and away from the crowdof perusing zombies.He sees zombies and dead bodies on blankets everywhere, he seeshis girlfriend on a blanket, fighting off a zombie on top ofher.Jake struggles to get a golf club away from a zombie.He smashes the club with all of his strength into the zombiesskull and runs to help his girlfriend.With the golf club, Jake hits the zombie on the back of the headand fights the zombie off his girlfriend. While struggling withthe zombie his girlfriend runs away.JAKEAlice! It's me!Three zombies approach Jake from behind.​5 of 10​He sees the zombies just as they were right behind him. Jakesmashes the first zombie in the head with the golf club.Once the first zombie goes down, Jake smashes the other twozombies, one at a time.As he begins to walk away, he notices one of the zombiescontinues to squirm around on the ground.Jake goes back and finishes off the zombie, leaving the golfclub on the ground next to the now lifeless zombie.JAKEAlice! Alice!Jake hears a scream. He turns to see his girlfriend surroundedby zombies. One of the zombies is Steve.JAKEOh no, not you too.Jake runs back and picks up the golf club and turns back torescue his girlfriend.As he approaches Alice, he sees police cars pull up behind him.JAKE(Yelling back towards the policeofficers)Help, Zombies are everywhere.As Jake turns back towards his girlfriend, he is tackled to theground, hitting his head going unconscious.The two police officers handcuff Jake; they grab him by thearms, lifts him up, and drags him to the police car. One officershoves him in the back of the car and the other officer slamsthe door.Police car drives away.FADE OUT14 INT. JAKE'S BEDROOM - MORNINGFADE INThe clock on the desk reads 6:59am.Jake asleep with his head resting on his S.A.T. study book, anempty cup of coffee and empty bottles of energy drinks litterhis desk.As the clock strikes 7:00am, the alarm sounds and Jake lifts hishead off the study guide.​6 of 10​Jake looks around confused as he wipes the drool from the sideof his mouth.Looking down, Jake sees the box of pills laying on the floor,the four pills he had taken previously were still in theirpackage along with the stuff Steve gave him.Jake laughs to himself as he gets up from the desk and walks tothe bathroom with the pills in hand.Jake pops the pills from the packaging and flushes them down thetoilet.As he turns away, he knocks a glass from the counter.A empty glass falls to the floor in slow motion.Jake turns away and closes his eyes, preparing for the crash ofthe breaking glass.CUT TO15 INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL - MORNINGFADE INJake opens his eyes and struggles to adjust his vision. A nursestanding beside his bed had just dropped a vile of medication.He is laying on a hospital bed, handcuffed to the bed. A policeofficer sits outside the door.JAKEWhere. Where am I? What happen?NURSEshhh. Now this is going to make yourest.JAKE(struggling)No! I don't need to rest, I need to getout of here.NURSEHoney, I don't think your going to begoing anywhere for a very long timeafter what you've done.JAKEWhat? No! I was protecting everyone. Isaved them, I...IJAKEThere were zombies. I tried.​7 of 10​NURSENo honey, they were your friends.Jake closes his eyes tight, trying to remember the night before.FADE TO BLACK16 EXT. FIELD PARTY - NIGHTJake speeds into the field parking lot, looking from side toside as he drives past the rows of cars.Three people catch his eye standing at a parked car as he isdriving by.As he is looking, he hears THUMP as his car runs over something.Rides over a BUMP. Jake slams the brakes.JAKEOh No!Jake gets out and walks around the car and finds a bodyunderneath.Jake looks around to see if anyone has noticed.He turns back to see the body moving. Jake slides the body outfrom under the car, a partygoer is squirming in pain.Jake falls back scared and scrambles to his feet.As he turns to run, he sees a group of partygoers moving towardshim from the parked car.Panicking, Jake runs towards the bonfire and away from the crowdof perusing partygoers.He sees partygoers dancing everywhere, on blankets, he sees hisgirlfriend on a blanket with a guy making out on top of her.Jake struggles to get a golf club away from a partygoer.He smashes the club into the his sku1l and runs towards hisgirlfriend.With the golf club, Jake hits the guy on the back of the headand fights him off his girlfriend. While struggling with the guyhis girlfriend runs away.JAKEAlice! it's me!Three partygoers approach Jake from behind.He sees them just as they were right behind him. Jake smashesthe first partygoer in the head with the golf club.​8 of 10​Once the first one goes down, Jake smashes the other two, one ata time as they try to get away.As he begins to walk away, he notices one of the partygoerscontinues to squirm around on the ground.Jake goes back and finishes off the partygoer, leaving the golfclub on the ground next to the now lifeless body.JAKEAlice! Alice!Jake hears a scream. He turns to see his girlfriend surroundedby friends. One of them is Steve.JAKEOh no, not you too.Jake walks back and picks up the golf club and turns backtowards his girlfriend.As he approaches Alice, he sees a police car pull up behind him.JAKE(Yelling back towards the policeofficers)Help, Zombies are everywhere.As Jake turns back towards his girlfriend, he is tackled to theground, hitting his head going unconscious.The two police officers handcuff Jake; grabs him by the back ofhis neck, lifts him up, and drags him to the police car. Oneofficer shoves him in the back of the car and the other officerslams the door.Police car drives away.CUT TO17 INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL - MORNINGJake begins screaming hysterically.The nurse plunges the needle into his arm.Jake quickly begins relaxing and begins falling asleep.JAKE(Sleepily)But I'm supposed to take the S.A.T.today.As Jake falls asleep, the nurse walks out of the room.CUT TO​9 of 10​INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL HALLWAY - MORNINGNURSEHe's out. He won't be waking up forquite a while. Poor kid doesn't evenknow what he did.POLICE1Well, you use, you lose.FADE TO BLACK19 INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL - MORNINGFADE INJake lays in the bed, tears stream down his face. He blinksonce, twice, and closes his eyes, leans his head back as hefalls back asleep.FADE TO BLACKWords on screen read "Don't do Drugs"FADE OUTENDRUN CREDITS​10 of 10


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## BabaYaga

*Feedback*

Hi There, 

I like the idea of people being dehumanized in this guy's mind as mannequins, I think- visually- it would also be very striking to see him smashing them up, while the audience realizes that these are actual people. 

That said, I do think you could trim it down a whole lot. I don't know how long PSAs are on average in your country, but here, 30 seconds is about average. I would lose the set up at the beginning and just start at the party, where an otherwise good kid gets pressured into taking drugs (maybe his girlfriend convinces him?) You don't even need to use any dialogue to show this. From here it can get quite trippy with him reacting to mannequins like they are not even people until he sees blood on his hands/ hears sirens. 

From there you can bring in your anti-drug message and, this is just from advertising experience, give a compelling reason _why _people shouldn't do drugs. The lifeless mannequin image is so strong, I feel like you should tie it up with a title that speaks to how drugs make you forget how other people have feelings/ that other people exist. 

I would also lose the bit at the end, it feels a bit too much like all those horror movies from the 80s where the character would wake up from a terrible experience only to realise that it had all just been dream, which negates the impact of all your mutilated mannequins

Just my thoughts, take em or leave em. Hope you produce this one!


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## BruceDowns

I had to do a rewrite due to the cost of mannequins, so now we have zombies!  Here it is, again i would love your feedback.  Also, can you think of a title that will not give a way that this is a PSA?  I want the audience to believe that Jake is a hero until the end.  Thanks.


FADE IN 

INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM - EVENING 

A high school Junior, JAKE, sits studying at a desk in his room. 

The room is littered with SAT study guides and papers. 

A digital clock reading 6:30pm sits next to a full cup of coffee on the desk. 

As Jake turns the page, his phone rings. 

*JAKE* 
Steve-O, whats up buddy? 

*STEVE (V.O) *
Dude! Andy’s having a killer party 
tonight at the field. 

*JAKE *
Aggh. I can’t. 

CUT TO 

INT. STEVE’S HOUSE - EVENING 

*STEVE *
What do you mean you can’t? This is 
going to be epic! 

*JAKE (V.O)* 
I have to study for tomorrows SAT’s 

*STEVE *
Come on! You’ve been studying for 
the past three weeks straight. 

*JAKE (V.O) *
And I haven’t slept in two days! 

CUT TO 

INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM - EVENING 

*JAKE *
Yeah, and if I don’t pass, my 
parents are going to kill me. 

*STEVE (V.O) *
Alright man. I’ll talk to you 
later. 

*JAKE* 
Later. 

Jake hangs up and immediately goes back to studying. 

INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 

The clock, which reads 10:00pm, is now surrounded by empty bottles of 5 hour energy drinks. 

Jake takes a sip of the coffee, rubs his eyes, stretches, 
and continues studying. 

INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 

As the clock strikes 2:00am, more bottles of energy drink litter the desk. 

Jake attempts to study, but continues to nod off. 

Frustrated, Jake opens the desk drawer and pulls out a box of "Stay Awake" caffeine pills. 

He pulls out the bubble packs and begins to panic as he 
realizes there are only six left. 

*JAKE* 
Great! I guess these will have to 
do. 

Jake takes all the pills at one time, swallowing them with his coffee. 

*JAKE* 

Ahhh. Much better! 

EXT. FIELD PARTY - NIGHT 

STEVE and other friends stand by a group of cars while a 
bonfire burns in the background. 

Music blares in the background as kids dance around talk 
with each other around the bonfire. 

One guy hits golf balls out into the field. 

In the parking area, a girl too drunk to drive locks herself in her car while her friends try to get her out. 

*FRIEND1 *
Isn’t that Alice? 

*STEVE *
Where? 

The three look over and see Jake’s girlfriend Alice laying on a blanket making out with another guy. 

*FRIEND2 *
Ohhhh. Yes it is! 

*FRIEND1 *
Who is she with? 

*FRIEND2* 
I think it’s Chris 

*STEVE* 
Jake’s gonna be pissed! 

CUT TO 

INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 

Jake is now flipping through the pages, wide awake when his phone rings. 

JAKE 
Please don’t tell me how awesome 
the party is. 

*STEVE (V.O) *
So apparently I’m not the only one 
who thinks it’s awesome. 

EXT. BONFIRE – NIGHT 

*STEVE *
Alice sure is enjoying herself. 

*JAKE (V.O)* 
Alice? What’s she doing there? 

Steve looks over his shoulder to see Alice still kissing 
Chris. 

*STEVE* 
She’s sticking her tongue down 
Chris’s throat! 

INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT 

*JAKE *
(Pissed off) 
I’m going to kick his ass! 

Jake slides the phone in his pocket and creeps downstairs to the kitchen. 

As he passes the living room, he sees his father asleep on the couch and his mother watching TV. 

Jake grabs his keys and sneaks out the back door. 

INT. JAKE’S CAR - NIGHT 

As Jake drives down the road, he receives a picture on his cell phone. 

The picture is of Alice and Chris kissing. 

Jake grits is teeth and drives faster towards the party. 

EXT. BONFIRE - NIGHT 

Steve laughs as he snaps another picture 

*STEVE *
(To his friends) 
This is going to be epic 

INT. JAKE’S CAR - NIGHT 

Jake speeds into the field parking lot, looking from side to side as he drives past the rows of cars. 

Three people catch his eye standing at a parked car as he is driving by. 
They appear to him as zombies feeding from a person on the ground and at that moment he hears THUMP as his car runs over something. rides over a BUMP. Jake slams on his brakes. 

*JAKE *
Oh No! 

Jake gets out and walks around the car and finds a body underneath. 

Jake looks around to see if anyone has noticed. 

He turns back to see the body moving. 

From underneath the car, a zombie emerges. 

Jake falls back scared and scrambles to his feet. 

As he turns to run, he sees a group of zombies moving towards him. 

Panicking, Jake runs towards the bonfire and away from the crowd of perusing zombies. 

He sees zombies and dead bodies on blankets everywhere, he sees his girlfriend on a blanket, wearing his school letter jacket, fighting off a zombie on top of her. 

Jake struggles to get a golf club away from a zombie. 

He smashes the club into the zombies skull and runs to help his girlfriend. 

With the golf club, Jake hits the zombie on the back of the head and fights the zombie off his girlfriend. 

While struggling with the zombie his girlfriend runs away. 

*JAKE *
Alice! It’s me! 

Four zombies approach Jake from behind. 

He sees the zombies just as they were right behind him. 

Jake smashes the first zombie in the head with the golf club. 

Once the first zombie goes down, Jake smashes the other three zombies, one at a time. 

As he begins to walk away, he notices one of the zombies continues to squirm around on the ground. 
Jake goes back and finishes off the zombie, leaving the golf club on the ground next to the now lifeless zombie. 

*JAKE* 
Alice! Alice! 

Jake hears a scream. He turns to see his girlfriend surrounded by zombies. One of the zombies is Steve. 

*JAKE *
Oh no, not you too. 

Jake walks back and picks up the golf club and turns back to rescue his girlfriend. 

As he approaches Alice, he sees a police car pull up behind him. 

*JAKE* 
(Yelling back towards the police officers) 
Help, zombies are everywhere. 

As Jake turns back towards his girlfriend, he is tackled to the ground, hitting his head going unconscious. 

FADE OUT 

FADE IN 

INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM –MORNING 

The clock on the desk reads 6:59am. 

Jake asleep with his head resting on his S.A.T. study book, an empty cup of coffee and two empty bottles of energy drinks. 

As the clock strikes 7:00am, the alarm sounds and Jake lifts his head off the study guide. 
Jake looks around confused as he wipes the drool from the side of his mouth. 

Looking down, Jake sees the box of pills laying on the floor, the six pills he had taken previously were still in their package. 

Jake laughs to himself as he gets up from the desk and walks to the bathroom with the pills in hand. 

Jake pops the pills from the packaging and flushes them down the toilet. 

As he turns away, he knocks a glass from the counter. 

The glass falls to the floor in slow motion. 

Jake turns away and closes his eyes, preparing for the crash of the breaking glass. 

CUT TO 

INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL - MORNING 

Jake opens his eyes and struggles to adjust his vision. 

He is laying on a hospital bed, handcuffed to the bed. 

A police officer sits outside the door as a nurse enters the room carrying a syringe. 

*JAKE* 
Where. Where am I? What happened? 

*NURSE *
Shhh. Now this is going to make you 
rest. 

*JAKE *
(Struggling) 
NO! I don’t need rest, I need to 
get out of here. 

*NURSE *
Honey, I don’t think your going to 
be going anywhere for a very long 
time after what you’ve done. 

*JAKE *
What? No! I was protecting 
everyone. I saved them, I...I 

Jake closes his eyes tight, trying to remember the night before. 

*JAKE *
There were zombies. I tried. 

*NURSE *
No honey, they were your friends. 

CUT TO 

EXT. FIELD PARTY - NIGHT 

Jake drives through the parking lot, he is distracted and glances over his shoulder. 

As he is looking, he runs over a partygoer. 

Jake gets out of the car and looks around. 

The person he ran over squirms on the ground in pain. 

A group of kids begin running over to the car. 

Jake runs towards the bonfire wildly. 

He grabs a golf club from a partygoer and smashes the club over his head, blood splatters everywhere. 

Kids scream and begin running towards him. 

Jake runs towards Alice, grabbing Chris by the back of the shirt, he smashes the golf club into his head. 

Alice jumps up and starts running and screaming. 

Jake is approached by a group of kids. 

He hits the first one in the face with the golf club and proceeds to hit the others as they try to get away. 

Jake sees one kid squirming on the ground. He smashes the club into the kids skull numerous times. 

The police arrive on the scene. 

Alice screams in the back ground; she is met by four friends. 

As Jake runs towards them, he is tackled by a police officer. 

CUT TO 

INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL - MORNING 

Jake begins screaming hysterically. 

The nurse plunges the needle into his arm. 

Jake quickly begins relaxing and begins falling asleep. 

*JAKE *
(Sleepily) 
But I’m supposed to take S.A.T’s 
today. 

As Jake falls asleep, the nurse walks out of the room. 

INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL HALLWAY - MORNING 

*NURSE *
He’s out. He won’t be waking up for 
quite a while. Poor kid doesn’t 
even know what he did. 

*POLICE1 *
Well, you use, you lose. 

INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL - MORNING 

Jake lays in the bed, tears stream down his face as he falls back asleep. 

FADE OUT 

FADE IN 

Words on screen read "Don’t use drugs" 

FADE OUT 

END


----------



## BabaYaga

Hello,

How long are you anticipating the PSA being overall? I still feel like there are a few extra scenes than you really need... also, and I feel like I've been talking a LOT about drug use today- I hope that doesn't make people think I'm secretly selling crack out of my basement to school children, but it seems like a really extreme reaction to caffeine and sleep deprivation. Are over the counter meds your ultimate target?

I just want to make sure I'm understanding everything you want to achieve with this. 

Finally, while no one loves a zombie like I do, I kind of miss the mannequins. I understand they would be expensive props to smash to pieces, but some of the make-up effects required by this draft would probably also be really costly to do well as well as being a little gory for a PSA. If your heart is set on zombies, that's cool, but if you're only compromising on a good idea for a poor budget, then hold out! Where there's a will, there's a way to smash mannequins to pieces.


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## BruceDowns

Again thanks for the time and input. Maybe I should change this from a PSA to a short film with a good message. I too really like the mannequins story line better, but since I’m new to moviemaking using zombies can be a learning project with hopes of still developing the mannequin story for an actual PSA when I have more filmmaking experience. I will keep my eye out for cheap/free mannequins, but I found it was difficult to find full body mannequins. 

About the hallucination, I’m basing this on the combination of being sleep deprived (no sleep for two days), all the caffeine he has taken (5-hr energy drinks + pills) and he is a big zombie fan. I have 3 zombie posters that we will decorate his room with. Also a friend has written and produced a song for the script. Search MikeInDominica on youtube and listen to Devil’s Mountain “Dead Alive” which will be playing in his room while he is studing.


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## BabaYaga

That's great! (I also love the title, Dead Alive- was that an intentional Peter Jackson reference?) Perhaps to get the project started, you should do a music video to your friend's song? I can see your story working without dialogue... and shooting without worrying about dialogue or getting your final mix perfect will save big on time and money...


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## BruceDowns

Interesting,  I love the idea of shooting a music video for the song to use as a teaser/trailer for the movie.


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## BabaYaga

That's a great idea, you can use it to get sponsorship for a future project- and I'm sure your friend wont mind the exposure! Best of luck with it


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## Trides

Yeah, personally I prefer the mannequins too.
Hmm, I'm just a little confused about when he flushes the pills down the toilet. Does that actually happen?


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## BruceDowns

No, that scene takes place while he is unconscious from the fall (it will be shot over exposed a little), but I want the audience to believe that he just woke up from falling a sleep the night before while studying.  Then when he watches the glass falling to the floor in slow motion and closes his eyes, when he reopens his eyes again he is in a mental hospital, now he and I hope the audience will now know the truth. That it wasn't a dream.  That he did kill many of his friends.


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## Trides

Oh, I see. You'll find ways to make it a little less misleading, then. xD


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## BruceDowns

The plan is have two cuts of this film; a short film for festivals (~16-20 minutes) and a 2-3 minute PSA.  We start shooting the weekend of July 29th in Metro Atlanta area.  I have an incredibly talented cast and a great crew.


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## BabaYaga

Awesome! Well done and enjoy the shoot


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## BruceDowns

The filming went great!  The cast was fantastic!  And the make-up artist were, see for yourself, below.


When he gets run over and dragged from car


As a zombie (POV of person on drugs)

Setting up a shot in the mental hospital


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## Trides




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## BabaYaga

Wow! That looks amazing- the make up looks really good!Congratulations, that's awesome


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## BruceDowns

here's a clip (raw data) from the scene when the guy wakes up in the mental hospital and finds out he killed his friends. I have a few cut ins and close ups to edit into the scene. I was proud of the talent I had on this project. Take a look.

AC009101.MXF - YouTube

INT. MENTAL HOSPITAL - MORNING 

Jake opens his eyes and struggles to adjust his vision. 

He is laying on a hospital bed, handcuffed to the bed. 

A police officer sits outside the door as a nurse enters the room carrying a syringe. 

*JAKE* 
Where. Where am I? What happened? 

*NURSE *
Shhh. Now this is going to make you 
rest. 

*JAKE *
(Struggling) 
NO! I don’t need rest, I need to 
get out of here. 

*NURSE *
Honey, I don’t think your going to 
be going anywhere for a very long 
time after what you’ve done. 

*JAKE *
What? No! I was protecting 
everyone. I saved them, I...I 

Jake closes his eyes tight, trying to remember the night before. 

*JAKE *
There were zombies. I tried. 

*NURSE *
No honey, they were your friends.


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## Wryture

Brucedowns is also a indietalk.com poster, are you the same person? 


I personally preffered the mannequin version, kids think zombies are cool and in association with drugs it's a recipe for disaster, no matter how prohibitory you tone your film. But when it's around you, substance abuse is something you tend to exclude from discussion a priori, just for the sake of preserving any sense of calm at all.

You ought to make your script about an energy drink addict.


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## unsunghero

well done xx


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## DanielR1994

I love the idea.  I think it would actually help prevent teens from doing drugs.  What I have realized is that teachers and psychologist or a social worker saying think of what would happen to your family does not help stop the problem because they do not care.  By saying that their friends and other significant people in their life can get hurt it'll help more.  My only criticism is that zombies are popular now and people might interpret it as if you do drugs you will see zombies.  That may or may not hinder the problem


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## BruceDowns

hi guys, here's a sneak preview of the short film.  I would love to hear your feedback.  We still a few small edits before its finished.  

Zombie Party Draft2 - YouTube 

Thanks, Bruce


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## Terence Champion

I think the ending makes the whole piece fall a little flat. It seems a little tooo cliche to have it seem like he awakens to realise it was all a bad dream. 

I like the fact that the main character sees other people as mannequins. Although I think that if we the audience realise that the mannequins are actually people before he does, this may have a more disturbing effect as we realise that everytime a mannequin is smashed, etc, we know it is actually a real person dying.

I feel the message at the end comes across too strongly as some sort of anti-drugs advert which I think is uneccessary as the events within the script are enough to get across this anti-drugs message.


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## patskywriter

I enjoyed the use of music. I wish the lighting were better, but I understand this wasn't a high-budget production. Good job! If you can, fix the word "Staring" at the beginning; I'm sure you meant to say "Starring."


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## GonneLights

Well... I don't really like it because I am an experienced drug user and as such find any anti-drug message patronising, ahaha. But, the premise is alright; my qualms with any anti-drugs campaign is that they're far too extreme. Like those 'Meth: Not Even Once' adverts, faaaarrrr too extreme. And this sort of echoes that; the drug you have described is not speed. Speed makes you need to DO THINGS. He may accidentally run someone over, but it's more likely he would have had the reflexes to dodge him, and speed has never made anyone think all their friends were mannequins. Alright, I get that it's symbolic, but when you're talking about drugs it's _not _symbolic, not to the people who see it.

The drug you've described is *PCP*. Nobody in their right _mind _would take PCP. And no other drug has this effect on people. You could hit forty sheets of acid and smoke a house of methamphetamine, you wouldn't do this. Most hallucinogens are too inabilitating, you couldn't kill your friends if you wanted to, and amphetamines don't change your personality at all, those crackheads that go out killing already went out killing. And everyone in the drug world knows this, everyone in the drug world will recognise the only thing this film can pertain too is PCP; nobody outside the drug world knows what PCP is, but they know that speed doesn't do this, and everyone inside the drug world _doesn't take PCP.

_So, I really don't think it will have the desired effect. But, the premise of dehumanising the people around you is good, and you're... Well, not the first to have done that, but the first to have done it from an anti-drugs perspective. On the influence of some drugs you will feel like the people around you aren't real, and that can be very damaging, not for them, you won't get violent, but for you. And you may very well metaphorically kill these unreal people off, and wind up in your own metaphorical prison, so, I like it from that angle. But it's just too much, man, too much, too much. I can't get into it.

But, I'm the sort of person you're warding people away from, so don't listen to my criticism, hahaha. And well done on actually going out and doing it, it's really cool that you've been able to manifest this.


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## BruceDowns

Terence Champion,



Terence Champion said:


> I think the ending makes the whole piece fall a little flat. It seems a little tooo cliche to have it seem like he awakens to realise it was all a bad dream.



maybe it didn't come out as i planned, when he wakes up at his desk it's still part of the sleep deprived drug induced hallucination.  When he wakes up in the hospital is when he actually comes too.  Please watch it again and see if it makes sense now.  Thanks.

Zombie Party Draft2 - YouTube


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## BruceDowns

Hi Everyone thanks for watching the second edit.  Below are the final edits.  Thanks for your feedback.  

:30  Typo - starring instead of staring (need to color balance this scene)

2:59 Can't hear dialogue - Turn up “this will have to do” just a little

3:41 Need to color balance 

4:20 Need to setup the fact that someone is using their home camera... Shot of that person with camera... or Put a flashing REC with safe title markers like would be in a home camera viewfinder.  Too drastic a jump from filmic to home camera. 

6:00 lip sync is a bit off

6:53 Sound fx, please use the same “thump” sound of boy getting hit by car as you used at 10:12

7.30 needs some close-ups to break up the scene.  Too long on wide shot 

7:47 add zombie sound fx of boy on top of girl (hungry zombie type fx)  

8:19 add zombie sound fx when Alice is getting attacked by zombies

8:51  bad lighting - try to fix in color correction 

9:20  Audio - take out low rumble of air handlers, or overdub with new audio needs some closeups to break up scene 

10:00  Shorten the driving sequence. 

10:56  add impact hit followed by background screaming/crying from partygoers

11.18  dialogue is lost in music.  Can't hear lines. Also add Alice screaming (we have a lot of clips of her screaming/crying)

11:22  add background screaming/crying with each hit – it doesn’t have to be to loud

11.30  Lighten up the background faces in color correction.... can't see reactions. (trust your judgment on this)

11:41  Do you think we should add a thump sound when Jake gets tackled to give the impression that he hit his head and was knocked out? 

While Jake is getting tackled add Alice crying sound from 11:40 on until the hospital cut 

12.00  Shorten sequence.. Needs to be lightened up.

13.34 Clean up audio

13.37  audio out of sync

13:53  Cut just before the camera shakes. 

Credits:
Typo - Psychiatric nurse  instead of Psychiatic nurse
Typo - Psychiatric aide  instead  of Psychiatic aide
Typo - Stunt choreography instead of Stund choreograpyhy
Typo - Makeup instead of Make-up - spelled both ways in credits.
Typo - all the songs have WRITEN instead of written Sam's Club, not Sam Club.


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## Taknovrthewrld

Seems like a solid 'quick flick'. You should hook up with an amateur director and have it made. I'm sure you could rig up the special effects for the mannequins.


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## Easee

BruceDowns said:


> CLOSE UP OF STUDY BOOK & FADE OUT:
> Unless you plan on directing this, I would refrain from using camera directions like close up, fade in and out (except the very beginning and very end.)
> Of Jake turning the page from 10 to 11
> You don't need ...Of Jake, just ...Jake turns the page from 10 to 11
> 
> Camera pans the desk showing S.A.T. study books, half empty cup of coffee pause camera on study book showing page 30.  Pan up to Jake’s face nodding and fighting sleep then camera pans down to study book.
> Again, see above. A script shouldn't have camera direction in it, that's the director's job.
> 
> *Jake*
> (talking to himself, frustrated) I'd refrain from doing this too much, let the dialogue tell the actors how to act.
> The biggest test of my life and I can’t stay awake, and now I’m popping speed at my own house when my parents are downstairs.
> 
> *Jake*
> (Pissed off) We don't need the pissed off notification, because he's saying I'm going to kick his ass. We know he's pissed off.
> I’m going to kick his ass.
> 
> *Steve*
> (With a mischievous smirk tells to his friend)  Same thing, I'm not doing this to be a jerk, but actors don't like this.
> This is going to be fun.
> 
> INT. JAKE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
> 
> Jake hangs up his cell phone, appears to be more awake and angry, <--- describe how he looks when he's awake and angry throws on a jacket and sneaks out of his room and down the stairs to the kitchen.  Parents are in the family room, dad asleep on the sofa and mom sitting on the chair watching TV.  Jake grabs his car keys and sneaks out the front door. Is the family room close to the door? Wouldn't mom hear?
> 
> INT.JAKE’S CAR – NIGHT
> 
> Jake is anxious, driving in a hurry to the field party. <--- This is hard to imagine from a director's POV. An example of how it could be fixed would be; Jake wipes sweat from his brow. EXT. WINDING FIELD ROAD - NIGHT Jake's car whips around a corner.  While driving he receives a text message, it’s a picture of his Alice sitting on a log with John’s arm around her.  Jake is now extremely angry, slams his fist on the dash and speeds up.
> 
> While driving he looks back over his shoulder because they appear to him as mannequins. <--- Again, this is near impossible for a director to convey. The audience can't see how they appear to him. Another way would be to have it say, Jake looks over his shoulder and sees three mannequins. While looking back he hears a thump and his car rides over a bump. Again, try to avoid character POV thoughts and senses. There's a loud thump, as his car rides over a bump. Easy to fix. :chuncky:
> 
> While the police are walking him to the police car Jake sees all the people who he thought were lifeless mannequins laying on the ground were actually his classmates with blood everywhere.  As the police car is leaving Jake sees the EMS arriving. Cool development here! Nice action, interesting twist.
> 
> Title “Don’t do Drugs” appear on the scene like a police blotter then underneath it shows the following text. <--- Title's are fine as long as they are part of the story. Example; Three weeks later, 1973 etc. So in this case totally legit.
> Jake was tried as an adult and sentenced to life in prison without parole for the murders of 4 classmates and friends including his best friend Steve.



I think it's better as a story without the repeat of the beginning, but hey it's your story, don't let me tell you anything.

One thing to keep in mind for scripts is to imagine if you are reading your script as a director. Think from a reader's perspective, "If I had to make this into a movie, would it be hard or easy? Can I visualize this? Is this something the audience can see?"

Cool story though, very different.

I'm seeing now, that you were in fact directing it, so ignore any comments about camera direction. Oops.


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## Industrial

Hey you should send this script to the people that do those Above the Influence commercials!


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## mari

:mrgreen: makeup is great!


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## Amanda786

Wow! That's really good


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## farefar

I love the script. The only thing I would change is the "dont do drugs" bit. My reasoning being that we as the audience can already see the reason why Jake is in this mess. He popped speed. However when you then use text to deliver an already delivered message it becomes redundant. Kids hate to be told what to do. The message is better delivered without the text. Other than that I loved it.


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## Eliyahu

Not that I would know first hand or anything but speed generally does not make you hallucinate in such a drastic way.   

Have you considered making it about "bath salts" instead?  It would go more nicely with your zombie theme IMO.


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## OLDSOUL

Awesome dude!


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## BruceDowns

Hi Guys, here's the final short film of my script, now titled “Zombie Party, PSA”.  We got lucky because the guy that we cast as the lead is a principal actor in the new Harrison Ford movie “Ender’s Game” which is in post-production.  I directed it myself but I have a lot to learn, lol!!! Take a look and let me know what you think.  Thanks. 
Zombie Party, PSA - YouTube


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## Staff Deployment

I read the first post and remembered seeing that concept before.

Here it is:
[video]http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=La6T8Bq6CsU&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DLa6T8Bq6CsU[/video]

I'm fairly certain it isn't the uploaders original content, however. Regardless, it has nearly a million views and has been very well recieved.


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