# Writer's Failsafe- Prologue and chapter listing



## Nykimbur (Jan 20, 2009)

To R.L. Stine, best kids witer ever.​ 


“The visions which will then be acquired will be of a very high order. It may be after some little while has elapsed that the Theurgist will be astonished to find that his role of a detached observer of a vision has ceased and that, in some way, the vision is taking place about his own being, and that he is plunged into a tremendous spiritual experience never to be blotted out from conscious memory throughout the number of his days on earth. Initiations, in the real sense, and not in the implication of a formal lodge room ceremony, may there be instigated, the Theurgist taking part therein as a candidate to the sacred mysteries. To these initiations, needless to state, application is not made in any written form. They simply _occur_. And when they do, there is no doubt or vagueness as to what is occuring.”​ 

Israel Regardie, _The Tree of Life_​ 









*Sailor Moon *​ 
*by The Daddy*​ 

This thing has been bugging me for the past three years and I personally think it's amazing that this could ever have lasted so long over something so stupid.
In the summer of 2000 I one day stumbled upon the old episodes of an anime dubbed shoujo called Sailor Moon; the episode was midway between the one where Rai wins a boat trip and Serena sneaks on board as a 'journalist'. Out of boredness I started to watch the cartoon almost regularly; I discovered that it was about 'the adventures of a 14 year old schoolgirl heroine against evil', usual stuff, but I'd never seen anything like it since I am of course a male and I try to avoid girly shit like that. The last episode of the old series, where Queen Beryll is defeated and the scouts lose their memory inspired me to include her in a short story I was writing about a gang of kids; in which she appears from another dimension or something (i wasnt a very good writer back then). Soon after, I just watched the episodes for fun every morning and couldn't get her out of my mind. I was a slight insomniac (it used to be horrible) and at night the heat kept getting to me and I got really irritable. I hallucinated that she was in my bed and I could never sleep, and when I did sleep, I dreamt of her. After a day or so, I decided to keep her firmly out of my mind and I went like that for about five days, and then I was okay, but still a bit uneasy. The uneasiness remained for three years. The year after, I got bad grades in a lot of subjects coz i was too shy and not concentrating on my work enough. This was not like me at all. I'm the daddy! The year after was better, but I finally truly awoke to something I had not realised. one of my friends was watching TV and I said that Sailor Moon was an okay cartoon. After a minute or so, he said politely, " Well, it's not very good so far" And I realised that he was right. It was shit!
I can't remember the exact day Sailor Moon became a girl rather than a cartoon, but it must've been sometime around a week or a year after I first saw it.
Pardon me for being a pussy, but I liked meeting Serena. So young and so perfect, yet older than me, the eldest child in the family.
By putting Sailor Moon in a story where she briefly appears on earth and then dissapears again, as if she never existed, symbolises what I felt; that she was unreachable, untouchable, and that she would never know me and would always love another. It's a feeling that is totally unique; very sweet and completely unallegorical. Perhaps I wanted this feeling, because I know I have always loved selflessly. My mother sometimes got angry at my insomnia when I was a child, but I was convinced it was my fault; I was happy for my younger brother when he was happy; and then, Serena, when I was 12 years old.
While even though she didn't know me, I was satisfied with keeping it to myself.
Would I tell her now, were she even REAL herself?
Perhaps not.
By this time, I had few friends in my own school coz i'd become so withdrawn in the previous year, and the many who know me agree that I've changed. It continues to this day.
Some days, I feel very passionate for Serena, and later on, nothing but cold draughts and emptiness. I don't understand fully; she ruined my life and yet I love her. I suppose this is what they call love; for I have never had any sexual feelings towards her, and that's saying something. They say it is a far greater thing to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but how can I have lost my love to one that does not exist!
We've been reading Romeo and Juliet in school (i think it's shit) and I think, well at least they both knew each other. I just feel really stupid and bitter about this, i mean i hear so much these days about girls being a waste of time or taking a chance, but at least these people are in the material world, right?
Has anyone ever heard of anyone falling in love with a cartoon character? Has the daddy gone mad? Well, I nearly did, but don't worry, she means little to me any more.
She doesn't love me anyway.
All of this has however left a weak smile after the tears, so to speak. I lived with this for three long years until breaking point, and I realised that she was my gift as well as my curse.
I can honestly say there is only one thing I have ever learnt in my life that I've enjoyed.
There's no girl like an anime girl.



Prologue​ 


WARNING: Do not attempt the following unless you have exhausted all other options. ​ 

Writer’s block. It begins with the question every writer dreads. What do I write when I _can’t_ write? 
The answer: An autobiography. The subject you know better than anyone else. It may not be pretty, but damnit, it’s writing! Let’s get one thing straight, first thing: This isn’t just some diary or blog, I wrote this because I was having trouble writing anything else. As a writer, this bio was my main focus for most of five and a half years. As such, you’ll find it’s somehwat above average for a non-fiction piece or general diary. This is essentially a failsafe, a fallback for writing. It’s big, excessive and less refined than a work of fiction. It’s not necessarily my best work, but it does the job. If there’s one thing this bio has, it’s conviction. I never muddle my words.
Having written and lost my first major novel by the age of thirteen, I was anxious to start again in the same vein of fantasy I was developing, based on videogame and cartoon worlds. However, due to shifting religions and the subsequent loss of TV, as well as of course the heavy loss of my previous novel, I found myself losing inspiration in my daily life, a key facet of fiction of which loss of can and did lead to fatal results: Writer’s Meltdown.
Before I continue, here’s my list of general rules for good writing:


*Nykimbur’s 5 Rules of Good Writing*​ 

*(1) **The majority of your work must be fiction- *Fiction is true writing, writing expressed in its fullest form. If you’re writing mostly non-fiction or poetry, you’re not a real writer, with exceptions for the occasional in-depth study.
*(2) **You must write characters of both sexes-* Writing a character of your own sex is simple enough, writing a character of the opposite sex displays true talent.
*(3) **Remember the three fundamentals of writing: Reflection – Inspiration – Imagination- *All three are required for fiction, only one is required for non-fiction, hence my term for it: Lopsided Writing.
*(4) **A good writer is always writing. Lack of writing indicates unbalanced fundamentals- *Conversely, constant writing can be unbalanced but good. See the exception to (1).
*(5) **A fertile life is the key to a fertile imagination-* Don’t isolate yourself.

This book is the exception to the rules. It comprises the majority of my work over the last five and a half years, yet it’s non-fiction, the protagonist is me, I’m mainly using only one of the three fundamentals: Reflection, I’m writing constantly, yet unbalancedly, and I’ve become increasingly isolated over the last five and a half years. So how, considering these factors, have I produced a good piece of work? The answer again is that this is an autobiography, the one area of writing which I’ve found has the tendency to turn conventional rules on their head. As an aside, here’s my three sub-rules of good fiction writing:

*(1) **You have to fall in love with your novel.*
*(2) **You have to become each and every character.*
*(3) **You have to enjoy writing it. Never force it.*

By my tenth school year, the best I could manage was a short creative writing piece for GCSE coursework called The Teddy Bear Robber, which was deemed genius but too long, and had to be severely edited for the piece I handed in the next year. It was around this time near the end of year 10 that I began this autobiographical diary. I was inventing imaginary lovers and experiencing mind-bending visions (which had gotten markedly stronger at least a year prior to starting the bio). My fiction was becoming reality.[A1] Going into my eleventh year, with GCSE’s looming and a romantic infatuation with a cartoon character, I found my fiction increasingly slowing down under the weight of my own burdens. But where my fiction was declining, my non-fiction was heavily gathering pace. And so began my five and a half year foray into self-reflection…

Oh, to be 15 again. OK, this autobiography; part diary; basically consists of my extremist political, spiritual, psychological and philosophical views, a lot of venting and what I make of my multilayered life, as I mention later on. As I also mention, I suppose the best way to describe me would be an extremely schizotypal person who likes to write. In a word, schizotypal would be me, in the most professional sense. I’m quite random a lot of the time, bear with it, I’m trying my best to structure my thoughts. 
I’m looking into Raja Yoga, the religion my family’s changed to about two years ago (which I strongly advise you to research for the sake of this book); I’m still not quite sure if I follow it, but for the time being, I’ll live and talk by their beliefs, one of the things I’m finding difficult to come to terms with though is the celibacy. Baba’s what we call God in my religion. I do believe in past lives and karma independently because I think and feel too complexly to be a child. I am apparently nearing the end of my cycle of rebirths in this world and I would like to leave a tribute to the dying world. If you wish to fully understand everything I’m talking about, please research further into certain videogames, movies, cartoons, beliefs etc. I refer to the past in school years a lot, especially year 8, which in normal years is the latter half of 2000 and former half of 2001, so when you see ‘year 8’ just think ‘2000 to 2001’. Alright, let’s see how long I can take this. 
At the time of writing, it’s four days to my sixteenth birthday, but I have compiled over 31,000 words of my autobiography already. My life has been very strange, but almost normal, relatively. I like to write. My interests also include Anime and videogames. In my beliefs, I am almost 5000 years old and this is my, and most likely your, last life before time repeats itself again. To get some things straight, the world is 5000 years old, and it used to be a very wonderful place. I’ve had some good times in this life, which I’m glad of, seeing the state the world’s in now. Oh yeah, I hate Graphics technology for GCSE. Me and some guys only chose it in year 9 because we thought it was something to do with computers. Well, the beginning part of this bio is just a bunch of notes I wrote down about a year ago when I started this. I’d prefer to leave them as they are, so a short parenthesis before each one if it’s required; I’ll give some background, but bear with a lot of it. The Golden Age is the time of heaven on earth, what I believe I see in my visions, which is the only reason I follow Raja Yoga. Research Raja Yoga and the Brahma Kumaris too to get more insight. The stars and dashes later on, before I start writing dates, represent different days. You might see the occasional star next to a word; it’s a below note. The EDITS you see riddled throughout are as Word Comments, some of them dated, some of them not. I got a crush on a cartoon character a few years ago, it came back to haunt me, that’s all you need to know for now. 
Also, I was a little mentally unstable at the beginning, but I address these issues later on. You’ll find my imaginary lover quite amusing. Anyway, read on.

CONTINUED...

[A1]You may be thinking something sceptical like “Teen diary. What makes it better than any Livejournal blog?” My answer is that this is a blog primarily addressing writers, gamers and spiritualists, which the average reader should find something in to sustain their interest. I am essentially a videogame-generation writer.


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## Nykimbur (Jan 20, 2009)

*Part 1*​


*1- **Near the end of year 10: On being fucked up*​


Detailing my position on various issues​


*2- **Beginning of the year: some more shit*​


Detailing the beginning of a school year​


*3- **Near my birthday: Conflicting titles*​


Detailing my 16th birthday and the title of the book​


*4- **Sailor Moon: I had to cut out a lot of stuff here, coz y’know, it was too much*​


Detailing my crush on a cartoon character​


*5- Reincarnation forums: Magic and writing ‘n’ stuff*​


A debate on Reincarnation Forums​


*6- Some more stuff: Nice day Tuesday*​


Centred around a day off school​


*7- Notes *​


My notes in school​


*8- End of the year*​


End of the school year​


*9- Practical List*​


List of tasks I prioritised​


*10- Consolation*​


Someone consoling me about Sailor Moon​


*11- Remnants of a lost novel*​


A lone scene from my lost novel​


*12- Bianca’s Anniversary*​


Celebrating the birth of my imaginary girlfriend​


*13-**College*​


First year of college​


*14- Priorities*​


Detailing my priorities​


*15- Does that mean it’s gone forever?*​


Comment on the condition of my lost novel​


*16- Like mixing liquid gold with mud*​


Comment on my visions​


*Part 2*​


*17- OCRemix.org*​


Videogame music remix site​


*18- Day of prophecy*​


Centred around my most powerful vision ever​


*19- My characters will be reborn again*​


Comment on rewriting my lost novel​


*20- Writing high*​


Writing while high on Frappes​


*21- Fundamental force of the universe*​


A vision​


*22- Reminiscence*​


Reminiscing my early high school days​


*23- Industrial Darkness*​


Detailing my dark visions​


*24- Videogames for girls*​


Videogames as played by girls​


*25- Zara*​


One of my little sister’s friends​


*26- Auntie’s flat*​


Visiting my aunt​


*27- The Final Variable*​


One of my theories​


*28- Killer 7*​


A videogame​


*29- Glue Girl*​


One of my stories​


*30- Why I hate Wind Waker*​


A rant about a bad videogame​


*31- The Unabomber*​


My view on the Unabomber​


*32- Dirty old man*​


A comment made by a woman about me on a bus​


*Part 3*​



*33- The Rotunda*​


Jobsearching IT place​


*34- Sephiroth vs. Ganondorf*​


Videogame character versus debate​


*35- Myhiddentalent.com*​


My old pieces on a writing website​


*36- Shigeru Miyamoto- Videogame master*​


Videogame developing legend​


*37- **Holiday** notes*​


Notes while on holiday​


*38- The Orchard*​


New jobsearching IT place​


*39- Nintendo Wii*​


Games console​


*40- Bullying analysis*​


Analysis on bullying​


*41**- Visceral Wind Waker bashing*​


Bashing a guy over a bad videogame​


*42**- Myhiddentalent reviews*​


People reviewing me on a writing website​


*43- Action for Employment*​


Jobsearching place​


*44- Lost stance on females*​


My issues with females​


*45- I just wrote*​


On my writing​


*46-**College** again*​


My second attempt at college​


*47- Perfect Dark Source*​


An online videogame​


*48- The Secret History Of The World*​


A new book by Jonathan Black​


*49- My own place*​


Moving into shared housing​


*50- Day of enlightenment*​


End chapter with an account of my past life regression, my list of existential theories and four short fiction pieces​


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## Nykimbur (Jan 21, 2009)

Anyone?


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## DavidGil (Jan 21, 2009)

Nykimbur,

I don't normally post like this and it's rare I'm online around here these days, but I think you need to be told what I'm going to say. I've been wanting to say this on other threads you've created, but I always hit the delete button also.

Well, what I think you need to be told is the fact that I don't think this is really publishable. While this may sound mean and it probably is, I just doubt there are many readers or publishers that will want to buy a 'biography' that contains your thoughts on video games, crushes on a video game character etc. If you prove me wrong, I'd like to know. I doubt you will though. If they do also, then I might as well have just compiled a lot of my non-fiction writing and put it into a book.

In all honesty, while this doesn't put my writing in a good light that I have linked in my signature, the chapters you've listed are more fitting for places like where I write (there is some useful information though). People will read it on the web, but I doubt they'll pay for a book.

Your best bet is to try and self-publish this or post extracts (edited of course) from it on various websites throughout the web that pay a % of the ad revenue that traffic to your writing generates. Failing that, keep it as something to look back on. Also, if you decide to post extracts on websites that offer a % of ad revenue, be careful to read everything first.

Heck, later in your life, you may have experiences that occur in your life that might be worth putting into a biography and you can draw from the stuff you've already written. But right now, there isn't much worthy stuff to go in a biography here, in my opinion. I just don't think it's sellable.

Edit: You'll probably dismiss what I say and be annoyed. Well, that's your right and despite what I've said here, I  do hope that you find success.


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## Nykimbur (Jan 22, 2009)

Fair points, DavidGil, but I think if I publish a few fantasy novels first, people will eventually become interested in my bio.


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## Raging_Hopeful (Mar 6, 2009)

Even if you publish a few novels (which would require some sort of talent mind you) NO ONE will want to read this drivel. My suggestion? Write it for yourself, save it as a memoir for your poor children who will patiently paw through it as you drool beside them, senile with old age and self-delusion. 

Video games for girls? ARE YOU SERIOUS? Let me outline what the summarized headings summarize about who you are as a person:




> Detailing my crush on a cartoon character


Pathetic.



> *28- Killer 7*​A videogame


Even more pathetic. 



> Someone consoling me about Sailor Moon


You should never, EVER admit this to anyone. Especially people in the professional publishing world. You'll screw yourself before you've even had a chance to query.



> Celebrating the birth of my imaginary girlfriend


I'm starting to think you have a mental problem. Seriously. A dissociative condition that renders you incapable of seeing how your imaginary parallels are not in fact real, and thus, especially not interesting to those who don't "live" there with you. 



> Bashing a guy over a bad videogame


Again, pathetic and no one cares.



> Videogame character versus debate


Only prepubescent boys and men who live in their parent's basements would find this interesting.

Maybe you should take some of your "chapters" (it pains me to use a literary term to associate with this... stuff) and submit it to some video game magazines? Your debates, thoughts, and reflections on playing video games, since it is obviously an extensive part of your life, might be well received. Or they'll think you're nuts. Or an idiot. But its worth a shot? Right?

Just, uh, don't quit your day job (I'm making the bold assertion that you in fact have a job.)


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## Nykimbur (Mar 6, 2009)

I don't think my crush on Sailor Moon was pathetic. In a way it was quite beautiful. Blame my mum if anything; she was never there for me, which led to the Sailor Moon and Bianca (or Reverse Fight Club Effect) issues.


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## Tom (Mar 6, 2009)

Nykimbur said:


> I don't think my crush on Sailor Moon was pathetic. In a way it was quite beautiful. Blame my mum if anything; she was never there for me, which led to the Sailor Moon and Bianca (or Reverse Fight Club Effect) issues.



I disagree.

Having a crush on Sailor Moon is the same as having a crush on your invisible girlfriend, there both not real and express just how lonely you are Nykimbur.

But I think you know that already. You did address it as an 'issue'.


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## Nykimbur (Mar 6, 2009)

They're issues, for sure, but they're not pathetic, they're quite understandable considering how my mum abandoned me for most of my life.


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## Tom (Mar 6, 2009)

Hmm. I just find it difficult to comprehend somebody getting a crush on a cartoon character. Why not a normal person? A girl at school?

I also can't see how your mother abandoning you effects you having a crush on Sailor Moon..

I don't know. I can't connect the dots because the dots aren't mine. Obviously you know more than me, I'll shut up now.


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## edropus (Mar 6, 2009)

Tom said:


> Hmm. I just find it difficult to comprehend somebody getting a crush on a cartoon character. Why not a normal person? A girl at school?



Why bother developing a crush on someone who's just going to leave/hate you?  Cartoon characters might not give you real affection, but they don't reject you either.



Tom said:


> I also can't see how your mother abandoning you effects you having a crush on Sailor Moon..



See above.  That'd be my guess.



Tom said:


> I don't know. I can't connect the dots because the dots aren't mine. Obviously you know more than me, I'll shut up now.



I'd wager that you've always had at least one source of support and comfort in your life, or at least you never went without that for a long period of time when you were a child.  Just a guess.

Unfortunately I can relate to most if not all of what Nykimbur talks about here.  I am, more or less, his target audience.  If you don't count sleeping, eating and work, I've probably spent more hours playing videogames than anything else in my life.  I was a lonely, friendless child for years, and found comfort in video games.  Video games were mostly based on, if not at least influenced by, anime, so that lead to that.  I never had a crush on a character, but I did think that Jasmine from Aladdin was pretty hot for awhile.

But my life did eventually turn around and I abandoned the idea that I was special and unique and abandoned the hope that someday a catalyst or method would come along that would bring out that thing inside me that made me so special.  And my life got better, and normal.

I just think, Nykimbur, that you're still too wrapped up in it.  You write about things like cartoon crushes and visions and video games and whatnot.  Or, at least, you WROTE about them.  But you wrote about them in the moment, when to you it was still very tragic and dramatic and very serious.  But the fact is that these things aren't serious, or really sad.  Maybe if you stopped taking it all so seriously you could produce something new, where you can look back with perspective - and hopefully a sense of humor - on the infatuations of your past.

That's a book that I might actually be interested in reading.

Maybe it's just too early.  Give yourself time.  My only advice is to stop looking on your situation as grave and unique - because I don't think it's really either.


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## Tom (Mar 7, 2009)

edropus said:


> I'd wager that you've always had at least one source of support and comfort in your life, or at least you never went without that for a long period of time when you were a child.  Just a guess.
> 
> Unfortunately I can relate to most if not all of what Nykimbur talks about here.  I am, more or less, his target audience.  If you don't count sleeping, eating and work, I've probably spent more hours playing videogames than anything else in my life.  I was a lonely, friendless child for years, and found comfort in video games.  Video games were mostly based on, if not at least influenced by, anime, so that lead to that.  I never had a crush on a character, but I did think that Jasmine from Aladdin was pretty hot for awhile.
> 
> ...



You're right. Alright, I admit, I was lucky. Not that lucky though, as I did only have one source of support. Better than nothing, but in ways, I can understand a little of what Nykimbur is saying. 

Besides, edropus, I think you managed to sum things up quite simply there. I also wouldn't mind reading a book of you putting all this into perspective and taking a comedic approach to it. Plenty of people are doing it on this forum, and plenty of comedians do it. Use those moments to make someone laugh.

That's good advice. Listen to Edropus.

Tom.


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## Nykimbur (Mar 7, 2009)

I'm glad you understand Edropus, in another thread I've listed the main reasons why people should find my bio interesting, namely Sailor Moon, Bianca, my taste in videogames, my visions and my debating ability. All of those factor in to create a good book. IMO anyway.


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## SparkyLT (Mar 7, 2009)

Wait, I don't mean to pounce on you, but did you just say that Sailor Moon, Bianca, your taste in videogames, your visions and your debating ability all factor in to create a good book? I hope I either read that wrong or you were joking. But let me take this as an opportunity.

Things that make a good book. An interesting story is one thing - in fiction and bios. Interesting to a large amount of people, I mean, not just gamers and anime fans. 

For instance, I could write about my (albeit temporary) infatuation with Vampire Knight, and though the VK fans might be amused by it - _might_; personally I'd rather read the manga itself than read about someone else chattering about it - no one else would give a damn.

I could do a detailed history of my favorite band, Nine Inch Nails. The NIN fans might find it interesting and insightful - probably not, they're an opinionated crowd, and I don't hold most of their opinions - but the over-forty and under-twenty would mostly be in the dark about what NIN even _is_. Then there'd be those who know of the band but hate it. A relatively small audience, here.

I could do an analysis of Assassin's Creed, IMO one of the best games ever. But my audience would be more-or-less only be teenagers over 18 and other folks probably not over 30.

See where I'm going?

Your main argument is that once you're big and famous, people will willingly eat up whatever shit you spit out. Sorry, man - you're not Stephen King, J. K. Rowling, or Stephanie Meyer. It's not very likely you'll get famous. Nothing personal, but not many writers reach star status, and to be honest I don't think you're good enough.


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## Nykimbur (Mar 7, 2009)

I'm a good fantasy writer, I think my fantasy pieces will become successful.


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## SparkyLT (Mar 7, 2009)

But _that_ successful? Do you honestly think you're that amazing an author?


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## Nykimbur (Mar 7, 2009)

I've got at least three great pieces lined up, and five more which will probably be good as well. And my bio, which is another three pieces.


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## SparkyLT (Mar 7, 2009)

Way to avoid the question. Do you think you're an amazing writer or not?


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## Nykimbur (Mar 7, 2009)

Yeah, I think I'm pretty good.


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## SparkyLT (Mar 7, 2009)

Ah screw it, if you think you're so good, why do you even ask our opinions? I can tell already that no matter what we say, you'll go on and do whatever you like. Why waste our time?


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## Nykimbur (Mar 7, 2009)

Fair point.


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## SparkyLT (Mar 7, 2009)

Then my job here is done.


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## 2.0 (Mar 8, 2009)

SparkyLT said:


> Ah screw it, if you think you're so good, why do you even ask our opinions? I can tell already that no matter what we say, you'll go on and do whatever you like. Why waste our time?


 
While "Fair point," is an appropriate response, it doesn't really answer the question. I was going to ask the same basic question before I read this far.

After starting threads upon threads just exactly the same as this one...  why continue to do it? What are you getting out of this? I really do want to know...


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## DavidGil (Mar 8, 2009)

He's getting attention, making an arse of himself and perhaps enjoying all of this. 

Personally, why not quit bumping this and his other threads? He will keep posting as long as others respond. 

Could do with living in the real world Nykimbur if you're serious about any of this.


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## MEShammas (May 18, 2009)

Nykimbur, please understand that I am not trying to be mean, but...

You are no better than anyone else, and no one else is better than you. How you define better is up to you, but really--and I say this with hope that you change yourself--you have an inflated ego that is nearly about to pop.


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## ThatWierdGuy (Aug 5, 2009)

I haven't read all of the OPs posts, and while he sounds egotistical and maybe slightly narcissistic, you guys are being a little harsh.


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## Like a Fox (Aug 5, 2009)

Haha. He's banished now so it really doesn't matter.
Though reality checks are rarely soft serves.


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## GraysonMoran (Aug 5, 2009)

Well, I am used to seeing people with no publishing history putting up rules for how to write on the internet, but this advice is just breathtakingly nuts.


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