# Head First



## hinge (Feb 21, 2004)

Okay, after a bunch of one-liner articles and whatever, I'm finally feeling the urge again to whine about girls. 

[Insert confetti throwing here] 

Alright, based on my own experiences, which I really think I should ignore, I fall in love with girls all the time. And again, when I say "fall in love", I'm probably not meaning the real thing. Anyway, I fall in love with girls on the basis of almost nothing. What I mean is that I can barely know a girl, and then think I want to spend the rest of my life with her. It's weird, I know. 

I guess this all goes back to my stupidly high standards. I mean, I know no girls are perfect. But when I keep myself distanced like this and am not learning more about them, I am able to keep them, for the lack of a better term, in a pristine state in my mind. I get to pretend that they're perfect and let myself fall into my own trap. 

It's not that I don't want to know more about the girls, it's just that my trademark wussiness prevents that. The problem is that I feel something too early, and when that happens, I pretty much lose the power to approach her. Therefore, it leaves me stuck at a certain stage. I can never know more about the girl and vice versa, because I become almost paralyzed. I know it's an excuse, but that's what I really think. 

And on the other side of the spectrum, it seems to me it takes girls too long to feel anything more than friendship. Maybe it's just with me, but I can never tell if a girl is interested. I'm really lacking the common sense in this area. So I don't even know if a girl was interested ever in my life. It's kind of offputting in a way. But it seems to me that they take much more than what I need to feel something. For me, it's like they need to know everything before they show any sense of, and I really need a new word now, interest. But I can't even gauge this because I've never known. 

Maybe that's why I've never had a girlfriend (Yeah, yeah, laugh it up). Without the acknowledgement of, I should look up another word in a thesaurus, interest, I'm always too afraid to step over the so-called line. Again, I bring up my phobia of not being sure of an affirmative answer. 

I'm guessing maybe all my problems lie in this inherent difference between boys and girls. 

Or maybe it's just my Asian mullet. 

-Lin


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