# ‘Ave a real rant



## Olly Buckle (Dec 27, 2015)

There is a thread, started by Mesafalcon, for things that annoy you, it’s well-meaning, and quite interesting sometimes, but for heaven’s sake, we are supposed to be writers! There are single word answers in there, things like ‘peanut butter’. Even then, there is something interesting in peanut butter annoying you, and they fail to show it. Probably because ‘things’ are rarely inherently annoying, certain continuous noises perhaps. No, what we are being told about is the person being annoyed rather than the perceived source of annoyance. Well, yes; that is what good writers do, tell us about ourselves. We have a good thread where people can express themselves, expand their abilities; and post things like ‘peanut butter’! Not that I am a total killjoy, even writers should have time off, nothing wrong with the odd humorous remark, I make them myself sometimes; but on the other hand, come on, we are writers, let’s have a busman’s holiday of a thread; come back with a Basil Fawlty; ‘ave a real rant.’


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## BobtailCon (Dec 27, 2015)

We need a new forum rule; for every one word answer, the offender must post a piece of their work into the new "Brutal Critique" thread.


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 27, 2015)

BobtailCon said:


> We need a new forum rule; for every one word answer, the offender must post a piece of their work into the new "Brutal Critique" thread.



Not even two sentences and he wants rules and regulations. I reckon a real rant rates at least a hundred words, definitely multiple sentences. What there is a rule about is debate, so I am not really going to go off on one other than to say what a golden chance this is for* you* to get in a real good rant on the subject of your choice instead of trying to impose rules or comment on my rant.


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## BobtailCon (Dec 27, 2015)

Olly Buckle said:


> Not even two sentences and he wants rules and regulations. I reckon a real rant rates at least a hundred words, definitely multiple sentences. What there is a rule about is debate, so I am not really going to go off on one other than to say what a golden chance this is for* you* to get in a real good rant on the subject of your choice instead of trying to impose rules or comment on my rant.



Oohh, I don't think people want to hear my rants, after all, no debating [-X


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 27, 2015)

There was a news item recently about Lexus and Range Rover being the two cars most likely to be involved in an own fault accident which got discussed considerably. No-one seemed to  touch on the main point though to my view, good driving is a matter of attitude. Of course there is a whole separate issue of what constitutes good driving, but when you think that around three thousand people a year died on British roads over the last eighty plus years, and many more than that had life changing injuries, it makes me think ‘good driving’ is that which makes this less likely. Anyway, attitudes; I reckon one of the places they show up is when people tlk about parking, I know it is anecdotal, but I heard a Range Rover driver say that he always parked on single yellow lines, ‘They don’t tow you and they only issue one ticket, at sixty quid a day it is cheaper than N.C.P.’. 
They give themselves away when they talk about traffic wardens as well, I know ‘obeying orders’ and ‘only doing my job’ don’t count as valid excuses since Nuremberg, but it depends a bit what the job is, they are not running gas chambers, they are enforcing easily obeyed and well advertised laws that maintain the flow of traffic. Can you imagine what it would be like without them and those selfish b’s could get away with double parking? They would block the street and block people in and say ‘Well I left me hazards on’.


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 27, 2015)

BobtailCon said:


> Oohh, I don't think people want to hear my rants, after all, no debating [-X



Exactly, they can't come back and argue, go on, treat yourself, you know there is something; what is it about the way that idiot does the washing up? Can't they learn to ....


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## BobtailCon (Dec 27, 2015)

Olly Buckle said:


> No-one seemed to  touch on the main point though to my view, good driving is a matter of attitude.



Honestly, I'm just waiting for self driving and electric cars to become bigger. We have no reason to shun such technology when it is so close to our fingertips. The downside to capitalism is that these huge oil companies DO have their gooey, oily fingers in our pie, and the only thing we can do to stop them is stop buying gas, but who's going to do that? 

People want to have a Star Trekkian future so badly, but they aren't willing to give up their V1000 truck that runs on pure diesel because they "like to go muddin'." It's pretty sad. The US military has recently announced that we now have laser weapons for jets and LASER BUBBLE SHIELDS, but we're still reliant on fossil fuels? Pathetic.

And I haven't even said a thing about self driving cars. Not much of an argument here, there are too many irresponsible drivers, drunk drivers and idiots to not have self driving cars. If people want to drive, they can race or whatever on private tracks, it would be similar to owning a firearm, you don't fire it on the street, you fire it at a range. It's become obvious that training people better in driving WON'T solve bad driving. The inherently obvious solution is self-driving, electric or hybrid) cars.

You're welcome, humans. No getting wiped off of the planet from global warming.


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## dither (Dec 28, 2015)

I don't think that there is anything that annoys me so much as to rant. I think that i'd have to be seething to absolute boiling point but even then it doesn't last very long,  then i usually just retreat into darkness and languish in my very own  abyss until such a time that i feel ready to re-surface. I scream inside sometimes, not sure if that helps at all. Writers are thinkers and maybe less inclined to rant.

Just a personal view.


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## Schrody (Dec 28, 2015)

BobtailCon said:


> We need a new forum rule; for every one word answer, the offender must post a piece of their work into the new "Brutal Critique" thread.



Yes! But, the thread should be placed in the Workshop...

I used to write a blog about what bothered me (and it was a page or two long), now I'm over it.


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## dither (Dec 28, 2015)

" brutal critique"?

"A page or two long"?


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## Riis Marshall (Dec 28, 2015)

Hello Olly et al.

One of my prominent and recurring annoyances concerns poor use of our language that can usually be attributed to pure laziness, stupidity or sheer ignorance.

Here is one I heard the other day: It was during a television advertisement for some very nice folks who would like to sell you a new kitchen. While talking about how truly great this kitchen would be, and clearly trying to convince viewers these were without doubt the greatest kitchens of all time, she said: '...and there are loads of _*quality inclusions*_ like soft-close drawers, real granite worktops, dovetail joints, etc.'

Now, just what the hell are quality inclusions and why should I want loads of them in my kitchen? Yes I know our language changes over time but this pushes the envelope. I always thought inclusions were little, ugly things that shouldn't be wherever they were found, messing up an otherwise tidy entity of one kind or another.

I was going to start a thread in 'Writing Discussions' with this post but it seems to make sense to put it here.

And lest you think my criticisms are limited to the advertising industry, here is one from a long time ago: Somebody asked a news analyst how she thought President Reagan was going to handle a confrontation with either Congress, the Senate or both and her reply was: 'My guess is he will want to play this in a _*vestly fashion*_.' And this from somebody whom I presume would describe herself as a journalist and who makes her living with language.

The mind boggles.

All the best with your writing.

Warmest regards
Riis


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Dec 28, 2015)

Games likes Fallout. 

They betray you in thinking that it is an open-world scenario. Go anywhere. Kill anything or anyone you want to. In a way, it one-ups Skyrim. Because Skyrim places certain NPC's as 'protected,' if they have quests tied to them. They cannot die. In fallout, you can kill anyone you want if they annoy you. That's the only redeeming fact about the series. 

Why? 

The enemies are poorly scaled. Like an MMO. Certain enemies of certain levels inhabit certain areas. But because it's an OPEN WORLD GAME, there is NO guidance or direction as to how exactly you should proceed, besides what is known as 'quest chains' which string together.

What does this mean? 

You, the player, will have no idea how difficult any given quest or game area will be. 

You can be exploring, having a jolly time, doing a quest, and suddenly encounter enemies twice or three times your level, and die. 


Because why would an RPG bother having opponents that scale to your level, allowing open exploration without fear of death lurking around each corner?

I understand certain quests, areas or bossfights having a level requirement is a common thing.

But the entire game is laid out this way.

That's simply how it is. 

I can't remember, but in an interview, either in a gaming magazine or whatnot that I read, they directly stated that this was intentional. That if you go to the wrong area before you're ready, you will die. 

And for some reason, the billion+ gamers that love fallout simply continue playing despite this fact.

I refuse. 

Fix your damn broken system so that I can actually explore without dying every five seconds from a deathclaw or what have you.

That's my freaking rant right there, and I've got plenty more. :twisted:


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## bazz cargo (Dec 29, 2015)

I have an inherent dislike of an economic system that punishes people for being poor. I can live quite happily with there being a wide diversity between incomes, but why give discounts to people who can afford to pay and charge more to those who can't? 

As an example, key meters for electricity. The cost per unit is higher and it is paid for in advance and it is impossible to not pay for the service. Direct Debit is cheaper per unit, paid after the electric is used and can often fail to be funded. is there a rational explanation?

I have had enough of the 'Big Six' energy companies and their rip off tactics, there will be interesting times ahead....


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## midnightpoet (Dec 29, 2015)

I don't know if the electric companies in the UK have gotten into this "deregulation" thing, but it's all the rage here in the colonies. Having worked for almost 40 years in the industry (gas & electric) I can't say it's improved things.  It was advertised as a boon for the consumer, but really was pushed by the big corporations to save money on their bills.  All it got me was the big exit door, and a lot of employees lost their  jobs.  Outsourcing and off-shoring were the big thing, and neither of the companies I worked for are still in business in the same form (both got bought out).  I suppose I should be glad I'm still getting a pension, but a lot of the #$@& that went on was abominable.
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## Kevin (Dec 29, 2015)

People who drive too safe. Oh, I’m not going to go on and on, I’m just going to cite a few examples. 

1)      the slow-driver: the person that drives at or below the speed limit. Their rationale is that they are being safe, which, if they are all by themselves on the road, perhaps they are, but only because they are so lacking in motor-skills that at a higher rate they might panic or crash. That is not to say that the vehicle cannot handle the road at such velocities, no, it is they, them, the driver, that is incapable, whether through nervousness or unco-ordination at maneuevering at higher speeds. The problem I have is that they are not ‘by themseves’, but rather are surrounded by a community in which they are the minority. They are driving at l_ess than _the flow of traffic. They actually cause a hazzard by their overly conservative driving habits, doing everything at a relative slow-motion speed, the other drivers having break unexpectantly do to the bottlenecks they create. They've done studies. It's proven...


2)      The person that stops not at the intersection, but feet before it: again, they think they’re being ‘safer’ by staying back away from the traffic, but actually what they’re doing is creating confusion for the other drivers. We see a person like this and we say ‘what the hell is going on?’ We wonder if there is some hazzard, some thing in the road, perhaps sirens that we can’t hear, or something. You see, we’re taught that in proper driving one should stop ones vehicle so that the front comes close to, but does not _cross_ the plane of the painted line that is the crosswalk. That is the proper location, not twenty feet past it; not not twenty-feet behind it. If one were to do this on ones driving test, they'd fail you. Why have you arbitrarilly decided to modify this? Are you that incompetent of a driver that you cannot judge the position of the crosswalk and you therefor error on the side of caution by staying wa-aaayyy back there? Or is it that you have a constant, overwhelming fear of other vehicles suddenly violating the rules and turning head-on into your lane? ‘Constant fear’, is that it? Hmmm…

3)The person that drives into the filling station and hogs the air: Why is it I contantly run into these? You know who you are. There you are, in your Mitsubishi Meekly, your Ford Foose-Sputter, your Toyota Namby (or is Pamby?) at the station with your whole family: wife, Griselda; children, Petoogle and Pigsly, parked at the only air available for several stations. And there I am, waiting. I watch as you carefully fill the tire. _Okay, you’re done_, I think, but then you pull out your handy-dandy pressure gauge…_just kick the tire, maybe_… A little more… ah good. That ought to do it. Nope. You put a little more in and check again-tssst-tsst tsst- too much. Let a little out. _Buddy, what is this, do you work for NASA?_ Tsst-tsst- check tsst-check-oops, too much. Add a little, check-tsst-check-tsst… _Oh christ…he’s moving to the next one…


edit: Thanks Olly... I feel better now._


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Dec 29, 2015)

People who invade internet communities, thinking that they're the greatest thing since sliced bread; and attempt to gain fame. There is at least one in every possible forum, who is currently attempting it, or has succeeded in doing so. Acting like someone on Xbox live doesn't get you any friends. Or respect. No one appreciates your insults, pointed comments, sarcastic observations, depraved sense of humor, or your bloated ego. At least, no one with a brain and sense of decency. 

Most of these people, in the real world, behave and live like animals.

What a prime slice of humanity you are, good sir/madam.

No wonder the internet is the only place you can make friends.

Fin.


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## Thaumiel (Dec 29, 2015)

*Bookshop Story (An unnecessary narrative)*

The rain falls in sheets onto the packed market streets of an ancient town. Cathedral bells and a central clock tower chime in uneasy unison as I climb the rapids washing down the hill upon which a saint lost his head. As I make it to the top I know it's not much further to my quarry, the scent of it's glued spine almost filling my excited nostrils. I make it to the door of Waterstone's Keep damp but undeterred.

Parting the simple folk sheltering from the elements just inside I make a bold entry. Deftly, I move through piles of uninteresting tomes and scrolls pushed on those too feeble to plunge the depths of the keep. Ushering child and adult alike out of my way, I make for the stairs. The smells of coffee and cake mixes with scent of my prey as I ascend but I take no notice. 

Further in, I charge now, so close. Finally, I find the family of ancient parchments my desired belongs to, but it is not there. Could I be mistaken? I look again, thumbing my way through in case it hides beneath the rest, but it is not there. Perhaps it has ventured into a different family nearby. The search reveals nothing.

Losing hope, I confront one of the slow residents of this most dangerous area. The confused look in their eye tells me I have picked badly, so I usher them to ask a wizard known as a 'manager'. The manager looks into its divining square, the parchment I desire is not here, yet it will arrive in two weeks.

Back home I go, waiting as always. For my desired parchment is never there.


[Seriously, why do they never have the books I go in for?]


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## Cran (Dec 29, 2015)

Crowley K. Jarvis said:


> Games likes Fallout.
> :twisted:


I'm not very good at video games, especially those which require fast reflexes or exact movement - I'm what they used to call physically handicapped. 

So that's why I play games like Fallout 3 (or New Vegas) and Skyrim, and I leapfrog my saves and save regularly and often, so that when the game freezes or when I've stumbled into a situation that means gruesome, painful and bloody death - for me - I can reload from the last good save and take it from there. Just like the guy from Next, I have seen the future and I can change it; death avoided. 

Earning the right to go toe-to-toe with a Deathclaw or Yaoi Guai(?) or upgraded giant scorpion or nightcrawler or that nasty mutant hornet thing is what the game is about. I've got to the point more than once when I've become the one to be feared, when I am the meanest SOB in the Valley, and it's boring. Time to start again, small and fearful of every shadow.

I've also learned to heed the advice the games give out. Don't Feed the Yaoi Guai - That is All. Going out unprepared is a recipe for needless sacrifice.

I am annoyed with Fallout New Vegas for halving the number of perks my character can get; I would have preferred if they had doubled the points needed for each level and left the perks alone. Too many complaints about Fallout 3 being too easy, I guess.

I did spit venom about the hard-to-kill level of the mutant mummy things with the instant-death-laser-eyes in Borderlands ... until I worked out how not to go rushing into a straight-up fight.

===========

This thread reminds me of a stand-up comedian who used to do a routine called "know what I hate?" - 

"You know what I hate? I hate it when I turn my head to spit out the window ... and I've forgotten to wind it down"

I hated instant coffee ... until I tried it with hot water.

I hate it in summer when I'm driving down the main street of my town in my shorts and I've left the car at home. Fore!


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## BobtailCon (Dec 29, 2015)

Crowley K. Jarvis said:


> People who invade internet communities, thinking that they're the greatest thing since sliced bread; and attempt to gain fame.



Yeah, it's pretty fucking aggravating. Luckily, with this community, it seems that those people are still criticized. We don't seem to let people get away with those things [-X


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Dec 29, 2015)

Cran said:


> I'm not very good at video games, especially those which require fast reflexes or exact movement - I'm what they used to call physically handicapped.
> 
> So that's why I play games like Fallout 3 (or New Vegas) and Skyrim, and I leapfrog my saves and save regularly and often, so that when the game freezes or when I've stumbled into a situation that means gruesome, painful and bloody death - for me - I can reload from the last good save and take it from there. Just like the guy from Next, I have seen the future and I can change it; death avoided.



I thought I was the only one who saw it that way. Every character is like a time traveler. 

Now Skyrim, I like. I just wish they wouldn't mark annoying NPC's as protected. My desire to murdle them goes unfulfilled. 

My Argonian, however, is unkillable, and still getting stronger. Normal enemies are like flies, and only bosses take more than three strikes to kill. 

Perhaps I'm simply impatient. Fallout seems to be a longer grind with a higher risk of dying, and eventually my lack of tolerance for loading saves overcomes any desire I had to conquer the game. It just doesn't seem like the game can be explored with any kind of natural progression. Learning curve I suppose, as you gain knowledge of what can and can't be done, where things are, which quests to do... Either I'm annoyed that I didn't have lockpicking for a chest, or don't know where to buy ammo for a certain weapon, or make repairs... Or which areas are even safe to run through. 

Which is also why I don't play Dark Souls or any similar games... :}


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 3, 2016)

First, as we are an international group, a word on British speed limits; we have two national speed limits, 70 mph on dual carriageways and 60mph on single carriageway roads, the urban speed limit is generally 30 mph, though 20 mph limits are being increasingly introduced.

I can understand people who become upset at people who drive well under the speed limit, I was following a car on a main road the other evening that was not getting above 30mph, half the limit, and braking every time he saw headlights coming the other way. That was frustrating, on the other hand I can tell myself that it was possibly a newly qualified driver and their first time driving after dark, if that was the case I would rather they drove within the limits of their capability while they got used to it, rather than driving faster than they are capable of doing safely because they are under pressure, people who break the limit annoy me far more.
Not everyone who breaks the limit falls into the same category mind, a lot of people drive at between 30 and 35 in a built up area, I have heard different rationales for this. The first, and most annoying, is “Everybody does it”, well I don’t, and if you don’t do it yourself you become aware of all the other people who don’t, they follow me at a reasonable distance, they don’t try to overtake when there appears to be a clear road, they don’t try and ‘burn me off’ at traffic lights, they drive reasonably and carefully within the legal parameters and are not generally responsible for the 2-3000 deaths and ten times that number of life changing injuries that occur every year in this country. ‘Everybody does it’ is simply a carless excuse used by people who assume they are above the law and know better than the qualified professionals employed to set the limits. They are the sort of people who drive looking only at the back of the car in front, completely unaware of the majority of road hazards or other factors which might apply, such as the comfort of the people who live beside the road and have to listen to  their noise levels, they are unimaginative dolts. Further, their driving in this manner gets them nowhere on the whole, I see them pull away from me fast having managed to get past, and shortly after I catch them up, the average speed in most urban environments is well under 30mph, in central London it is below 10mph, doing 40 for a few hundred yards creates no advantage.

One of the limit breakers I hate most is the forty mile an hour man, he does forty everywhere, in 60 limits and in 30 limits, it is the speed he feels most comfortable at in his ancient Rover. What is it makes him think he has the capability to exceed the limit safely by 30% in some places when he only feels safe at 30% below it in others?

The other day I came across another very annoying driver on the A3 coming out of London. This is a 50 mile an hour limit dual carriageway and I was doing that speed following him when he suddenly slowed to 40; the reason, we were going through a speed camera. Not only was he quite willing to break the limit by ten miles an hour, he didn’t even know what the limit was, despite reminder roundels on every other lamp post and an extra, larger one just before the camera. Drivers that unaware of their surroundings should not be on the road even if they were obeying the law.

Drivers who come up behind me fast and flash their lights for me to pull over make me wish they would meet Martin, he was a policeman I met on holiday in Turkey. He told me he would cruise at 70 in the unmarked Range Rover waiting for just that to happen, guess what he did then.

I don’t drive deliberately slowly, I get out of the way of the impatient bastards so they can get past and I can see their accident coming up in front of me, I don’t hang about unnecessarily on roundabouts and at traffic lights, I don’t try and wind people up or get them to do foolish things, but I do observe the limit, because if you are driving properly, checking mirrors, observing to the limits of vision front and back, really on the ball and taking account of all the hazards, that is probably as fast as anyone would wish to go, and if it isn’t then maybe there are unseen factors they are unaware of, and they should be extra cautious.


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