# Love At First Sight



## walkbyfaith (Jan 25, 2011)

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LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT*​




Anonymous: _Hey Anne, may I borrow your bag?_

Anne: (_Handed it over- Quite confused..._)

Anonymous: (_Tagged a key-chain to her bag_)

_They say it brings good luck.. _(_Smiled and left._)

Anne: (_Clueless.. She was left staring at that boy as he walks away._)





For months, that key-chain was left hanging there. Within every second  spent were their laughter and growing affections for one another. But  whatever it was they both felt, nothing made sense for it was kept  hidden.



Days gone by and they grew a lot older.. But through the years,  something within him never changed. It was his stare- as if he's always  asking for something. He seemed so inquisitive. It made Anne more  confused.



One day, the boy was late from school and danger loomed on his way home  when three guys started firing shots at him with no apparent reason. It  was sudden, and he died.



The girl wept after knowing that her best friend, her desire, just got  killed... Nothing was left but their memories together and that  key-chain.



Time took part on the healing of her wound. And she has now become a  famous doctor in the country- single and enjoying the indulgence of  success, almost forgetting about her yesterdays. 

But this night is just so different. She's having trouble to sleep. She  got up from bed and pulled a pending medical report on her desktop when  something fell on the floor. 

It was the key-chain. As she picks it up, she noticed a crack on it's  ornament. Never over the years did she notice it's hollowness, as void  as her lover's heart.. Yesterday relived once more.. 

But what disturbed her nostalgia was a piece of paper inside it's  ornament. It's a letter written by the boy the first time he saw her in  school.....




"_Hey, I don't know who you are. I'm looking at you as I write this  letter. I can see you smiling and I'm completely  dazzled..... I think, this is love at first sight..._"​


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## Tripp (Jan 25, 2011)

Good start! I'd like to see a little more descriptiveness, though that may not be what you're going for.
Watch your tenses. Your piece seems to be in past tense, but then you have these in there too:
"... as if he's always asking for something."
"As she picks it up..."
Look forward to reading more!

Tripp Dakota


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## The Blue Pencil (Feb 2, 2011)

I'm not sure if this is a script or short story....
I really enjoyed the theme, it was very touching and intruiging. I think you should add just a bit more detail and fill out the story a bit.


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