# Bonfire



## playerpiano (Sep 11, 2017)

Beautiful greed does not envy, it consumes
Warmth and light chasing away the dark
Forgetfull that patience promises dawn.


----------



## haribol (Sep 11, 2017)

Much has been said in these three lines of the poem, and indeed beautiful greed does not envy and it is beautifully said and this is the test of a good poet. Light chasing the dark is a beautiful, nuanced image, says a lot summarily.


----------



## jenthepen (Sep 11, 2017)

I agree with haribol. This is a deep and meaningful poem. I have read it carefully and find it appeals to my intuition. Do I correctly sense a warning for caution, or at least an appeal for pause for thought, in that last line?


----------



## escorial (Sep 11, 2017)

Great read...


----------



## lordusan (Sep 11, 2017)

Beautiful greed does not envy, it consumes  *Great sounding line, thought I would almost venture to say its a little chunky and unclear. Perhaps it's just an issue with the use of beautiful on an emotion (which is possible of course). While cool-sounding, it's kind of weird line to wrap my head around - after all, isn't the definition of greed very closely tied to envy? Either way, good job.*
Warmth and light chasing away the dark *So the dark is good here, AFAICT, which is cool and a definite swerve on the normal light equals good. However, I feel like this is where the consistency of the poem starts to hit the brakes. The next lines threatens the warmth/light that 'patience promises dawn', which is cool sounding, but doesn't dawn bring more warmth and light? Is greed stopped by patience?*
Forgetfull that patience promises dawn.

Overall, beautiful poem. It was music to my eyes, although it seems to have gone over my head.


----------



## playerpiano (Sep 12, 2017)

Indeed. Bonfires require fuel and you can't reconstitute ash. You are warm in the night but your left bereft in the morning. In the meantime the fire is both dangerous and grand. Undeniably beautiful but hungry and a metaphor for things we ought not touch but do.


----------



## Pete_C (Sep 13, 2017)

The first line of this is a potential stumbling block. I read it twice to get it right, but I can imagine some not seeing envy as a verb and thinking something is missing. Some will read it right first time, you'll read it right every time, but I think that most readers won't. It's not such great phrasing that it needs to be preserved, so I'd suggest a rewrite of that line to ensure the flow works first time, every time. That aside, it's a nice piece.


----------

