# 3 new haikus



## asahmed1 (May 8, 2011)

Golden dress
midnight walk...
Crashing waves


Morning breeze...
Arms wide open
Top of grass green hill


Rainy night
At red light...
Misery


What you think?


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## Martin (May 8, 2011)

Me think you should spend some more time reading and commenting others' pieces, before posting more yourself...


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## asahmed1 (May 8, 2011)

I think you should get out more...Tell me what is wrong (don't give me your traditionalist arguments). Couldn't you see the imagary?


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## Martin (May 8, 2011)

I wasn't paying attention to your pieces, just to the fact that you hardly spend any time commenting others' work. Note that WF is a give and take place.

As for your pieces, I wouldn't call them any kind of haiku really. They are just images that doesn't really tie together in any enlightening way.


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## Trides (May 8, 2011)

Interesting. Even though it's good to be concise, you might want to expand the second line of each. That's where I think you could open them up and connect them... like this:

Rainy night
At red light, horns blare
Misery


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## asahmed1 (May 8, 2011)

I am sorry to ask, defined enlighted way?

I have commented...past few pieces.


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## Trides (May 8, 2011)

Enlightening: giving intellectual or spiritual light; imparting knowledge


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## asahmed1 (May 8, 2011)

You mean something philisophical. Some expression of wisdom. However, when I read haikus, it expresses something about current conditions. It is just common things observed. I see them in some haiku magazines. I also read about writing haikus and various techniques, haikus consist of muiltiple senses, or human emotion, etc. Some techniques like narrowing, and comparisons as well. But, never read about enlightment.


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## Trides (May 8, 2011)

asahmed1 said:


> You mean something philosophical. Some expression of wisdom. However, when I read haikus, it expresses something about current conditions. It is just common things observed. I see them in some haiku magazines. I also read about writing haikus and various techniques, haikus consist of multiple senses, or human emotion, etc. Some techniques like narrowing, and comparisons as well. But, never read about enlightenment.


 Well, yes, haikus ought to be concrete, but that does not mean they do not have figurative significance.


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## Martin (May 8, 2011)

Haikus come from a Zen Buddhistic Japan. Through a haiku it should be expressed, that the author somehow had en enlightened moment of understanding ways of nature. It should not merely be observations of common things, but also the nerve that ties those common things together. It's such a sensitive form, that without having had an actual experience - or an enligthening moment, or a stroke of wisdom, however you wish to put it - it will prove much more difficult to actually put something worthwhile down on paper.
If we stray too far from the traditional or original ideas of any given form, we might as well call it something else or call it nothing at all. This 'enlightenment' we talk of, is not something uniquely attributed to haikus at all. Haikus are just a minimalistic form (three lines and a syllable count), mostly of two images tied together with a kireji; a kind of revelation that makes us understand the images' inter-connectedness.


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## SilverMoon (May 9, 2011)

Thank you Martin. This is just what I needed to hear. I've never written a haiku before but thought I'd give it the old college try. I Googled and found absolutely no explanation of this particular craft better than yours above. Correct me if I'm wrong but I've read that a haiku should contain 17 syllables in three phrases...5, 7, 5. And yes, the haikus I've read mostly address nature/wisdom.

asahmed, I particularly liked this phrase:



> Rainy night
> At red light...
> Misery


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## asahmed1 (May 10, 2011)

Thanks Silver Moon.  5-7-5 is the general structure that you learn. However, i read that in order for it to be a true japanese haiku it should be less than 13 sylibles. Japanese and English are different, so it must not be treated the same. But, that is their argument. And I agree, it is about quality of the work not the quanity. 

I love wisdom, and I use to read spend my time reading others, and forming my own. I am glad  I know this about Haiku, I always thought it was an expression of wisdom, but never saw it. Now, I can focus on it. Thanks guys!


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