# Have you Ever?



## aj47 (Dec 27, 2016)

Have you ever said, "No worries," when they asked if you're okay
since you knew they didn't really want to hear about your day?
Did you smile and make light banter when you had a troubled mind?
Have you ever lied, "No worries," to be kind?

Have you ever said, “I’m sorry,” when you knew it wasn’t true?
Have you ever made apology for what you didn’t do?
Did you take responsibility to try and make amends?
Have you ever lied, “I’m sorry,” to your friends?

Have you ever said, "I love you," even though it was a strain,
for the sake of some relationship you thought you should maintain?
Did you think it was expedient to make that sacrifice?
Have you ever lied, "I love you," to be nice?


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## Absolem (Dec 27, 2016)

astroannie said:


> Have you ever said, "I love you," even though it was a strain,
> for the sake of some relationship you thought you should maintain?
> Did you think it was expedient to make that sacrifice?
> Have you ever lied, "I love you," to be nice?



I really love this poem. The rhyme scheme carried me through a wonderful piece. This final stanza is my favorite. Solid homerun. Only change I would make would be to say ' just to be nice' on the final bit. Good job mate


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## aj47 (Dec 27, 2016)

Absolem said:


> I really love this poem. The rhyme scheme carried me through a wonderful piece. This final stanza is my favorite. Solid homerun. Only change I would make would be to say ' just to be nice' on the final bit. Good job mate



To my taste, "just" is a word that should only be used as a synonym for "fair" and not as a helping/filler/weasel-word.  Plus it would mess up the metric scheme I have going. 

I appreciate that you like it.  Thank you.  It's a rework of something old I did for a challenge.  I got no feedback, so I'm bringing it here.


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## Absolem (Dec 27, 2016)

astroannie said:


> To my taste, "just" is a word that should only be used as a synonym for "fair" and not as a helping/filler/weasel-word.


Just saying


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## JustRob (Dec 27, 2016)

astroannie said:


> To my taste, "just" is a word that should only be used as a synonym for "fair" and not as a helping/filler/weasel-word.



Just what do you mean by that? Sorry, I'll go away and read your poem now.

No, sorry, it's dinnertime and my angel is calling. No, make that screaming.


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## sas (Dec 27, 2016)

Great poem. Nailed it, kiddo. As I've gotten older I do those things less.


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## Bard_Daniel (Dec 27, 2016)

I really liked your poem, astro. It rang so powerfully to me. Great work!


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## Nellie (Dec 27, 2016)

astroannie said:
			
		

> Have you ever said, "No worries," when they asked if you're okay
> since you knew they didn't really want to hear about your day?
> Did you smile and make light banter when you had a troubled mind?
> Have you ever lied, "No worries," to be kind?



That IS my life, every day. Thanks for telling it like it is.


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## ned (Dec 28, 2016)

hello - I enjoyed reading your poem - so true, and really liked the clever word-play

I'm a bit hung-up on the opening - for me, 'no worries' is (a largely Australian) response
to gratitude, or sometimes a positive answer to a request. 
but maybe, that's just a cultural thing.

also, I would leave out 'they' - for succinctness and rhythm 

JUST some thoughts
Ned


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## Ell337 (Dec 31, 2016)

I think this will ring true for a lot of people. Certainly does for me. 

For the sake of visual consistency I would capitalize the first word in each line. I know that you haven't in the sentences that run on over two lines, but visually it looks odd. And it is a valid poetical convention to do so. 

Also I think there are still some words that can be deleted to keep things tight. I wish there was the option to have strikethrough text, it would make offering edits / suggestions easier. Any way you can compare with the deletions below. 



astroannie said:


> Have you ever said, "No worries," when asked if you're okay
> Since you knew they didn't want to hear about your day?
> Did you smile and make light banter when you had a troubled mind?
> Have you ever lied, "No worries," to be kind?
> ...


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## JustRob (Dec 31, 2016)

JustRob said:


> Just what do you mean by that? Sorry, I'll go away and read your poem now.
> No, sorry, it's dinnertime and my angel is calling. No, make that screaming.



It took me a while to get back to this and actually read the poem. Sorry again. It was worth it though. Just brilliant! ... if you'll pardon my use of that word (er, "just" I mean, not "brilliant"). What was all that about saying sorry, by the way?

P.S.
Those curtailed last lines to the stanzas are very effective at leaving the final questions hanging in the air. Clever.

P.P.S.
Yes, definitely my kind of poetry. I think you must have got the message by now. 
Ah, it's teatime!



Ell337 said:


> I wish there was the option to have strikethrough text, it would make offering edits / suggestions easier. Any way you can compare with the deletions below.



Strikethrough is available using the advanced editing tab. It's the last icon on the toolbar. See?


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## Ell337 (Dec 31, 2016)

JustRob said:


> It took me a while to get back to this and actually read the poem. Sorry again. It was worth it though. Just brilliant! ... if you'll pardon my use of that word. What was all that about saying sorry, by the way?
> 
> 
> 
> Strikethrough is available using the advanced editing tab. It's the last icon on the toolbar. See?



aah thanks. I tend to stay away from the advanced editing. I shall use it more often!


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