# Worst Dates of All Time



## Foxee (Mar 7, 2013)

*We have a good dates thread (and before all the wiseacres of the forum start up, this is about chemistry between people, not chronology from the calendar. Okay? Okay.) so I think we need a bad dates thread, too, because those are usually much funnier than good dates. So if you had an absolutely agonizing dating experience here and we'll offer therapy in the form of laughter.*

***

Just so happens, my worst date of all time happened in college. My best friend set me up on a blind date so on the night of we dressed well and prepared to be impressed. Our dates turned out to be "Rocky" and "Riad" from Baghdad and they were going to take us to dinner. Thank goodness I wore something nice, right? Rocky was my date and he looked handsome in a kind of dangerous way but he'd have to stay pretty restrained in public so I wasn't too worried.

There was no car, bus, or helicopter waiting outside, we were going to walk. Oh okay, well, we're college students so I can understand this. 

Ambling down the broken pavement, we chatted about what dinner was going to be. Neither I nor my friend had ever had curry before and our dates were delighted to hear this because they had cooked a curry dinner for us. I'm not sure what had happened to my normal abilities to judge a situation because normally I would have run screaming from guys I didn't know going to an apartment. All I can say is I wasn't alone and you do stupid things in college.

We get to the apartment and there is no furniture but a broken armchair and a radio. The kitchen has tables and chairs, thank goodness. I don't remember much of the meal except for the wall of heat from the curry and the fact that lemon-lime wine coolers are like throwing gasoline on the fire. Partway through the meal my friend put her fork down and gave me a meaningful look. Meaningful for HER but I didn't know what it meant. I was already done because the wax was melting out of my ears.

Later, she informed me that she saw a cockroach ambling along the counter behind me.

The rest of the evening was no better. For some reason we stayed long enough to dance to the radio in the empty apartment and we switched dates. (Not like that, all you people with dirty minds) That still didn't save things, we never really wanted to see Rocky and Riad again and apparently they weren't real entranced, either.

Very...very...strange.

***

Surely there is someone else who's had a bad date. Tell me about it. I need to feel better after remembering this!


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## nicolam2711 (Mar 7, 2013)

I actually feel bad enough for starting a thread which made you create this one and remember this! It sounds horrific. Specially if there are cockroaches (only ever had to deal with these on a girls holiday while drunk. That didn't go well).

My worst ever date wasn't even that it was a terrible date. I'd met the guy through my cousin on night's out. Unfortunately when sober he was very boring and spent a lot of time complaining about his work and how all his friends had girlfriends. Dinner and Ted the movie. The movie I hated and there was someone else in the film snoring. He unfortunately still thinks it went well and any time we happen to bump into one another I just avoid he idea of going out again. 

Not the worst date imaginable but my worst so far haha.


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## Ariel (Mar 7, 2013)

My worst date would have been the time the guy I was there with locked me in his apartment and went to bed.  I shivered for three hours on his couch before he got up and took me home.  I didn't have a phone and there were no windows.  I have not seen him since.  He was the guy I dated in high school and I'd thought I'd give him another chance.


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## dale (Mar 7, 2013)

one time i was in a real rural, hilljack part of indiana. (don't ask why) so i'm at this cook-out and this older woman
starts standing by me and being real friendly and asking me all kinds of silly get to know you questions. so i talk to her
for what seems an eternity, but was probably about an hour. she finally gets to the point and basically says she wants
me to hook up with her daughter. the girl's a legal adult, but probably 15 years younger than me. she looked ok, so i
said i'd go out with her. i was fairly drunk. so blah-blah-blah....me and girl hang out for a couple hours. she's kind of the
quiet type, but we end up at her parent's house and her mom actually tells us to go to the bedroom. i'm getting a weird
vibe, but i'm drunk so i go to the bedroom. we do our thing....no problem there.....and as soon as we're finished, the whole
damn family....mom, dad, and even her little 10 year old brother burst into the room as if it's a celebration of some kind.
i just sit up in the bed like ....OMG....and then her mom starts rambling on about how she can get me a job on a watermelon
farm and she knows a nice trailer we can move into and basically starts reinventing my entire life for me. i'm just really freaked
out at this point and nodding incoherently. so i did what any self-respecting man would do. i waited till they calmed down, ducked
out the door in an escape plot worthy of the count of monte cristo, and never went back to the hills again.


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## nicolam2711 (Mar 7, 2013)

Did this actually happen?! That's so weird.


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## Whisper (Mar 7, 2013)

amsawtell said:


> My worst date would have been the time the guy I was there with locked me in his apartment and went to bed. I shivered for three hours on his couch before he got up and took me home. I didn't have a phone and there were no windows. I have not seen him since. He was the guy I dated in high school and I'd thought I'd give him another chance.



After reading some of your past experiences, if I ever move next door to you, I'm not sure if I would want to be your best friend or avoid you like the plague. Do you have a book about your life out yet because I most def want to read it.:culpability:


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## JosephB (Mar 7, 2013)

Bah. I didn't see this and just posted one of my worst dates in the other thread. Oh well.

Geez Dale, it took you all that time to get a weird vibe??


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## dale (Mar 7, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Bah. I didn't see this and just posted one of my worst dates in the other thread. Oh well.
> 
> Geez Dale, it took you all that time to get a weird vibe??


lol. yeah. the male ego is amazing, ain't it? it can find any excuse for women finding him sexy as justified, no matter how insane it comes off.


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## Ariel (Mar 7, 2013)

Whisper said:


> After reading some of your past experiences, if I ever move next door to you, I'm not sure if I would want to be your best friend or avoid you like the plague. Do you have a book about your life out yet because I most def want to read it.:culpability:


My life hasn't been that crazy.  I just grew up in a bad neighborhood with parents who were weird and have had some tragedy.  Also, appalling taste in men.


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## DPVP (Mar 7, 2013)

i don't know what counts as the worse for me

i one time met this woman at a club. we started talking and she said i looked familiar. its a club that mainly had people from the area so i figured she had seen me getting grocery's at some point. latter she brings it up again and i mention that sometimes patients on the ambulance say i look like Robert Patterson.

from their she tells me about how she had to go to the hospital recently and the EMT she had was a real jerk ( but she did not say jerk). finally figured out that EMT was me latter at home.


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## Foxee (Mar 7, 2013)

nicolam2711 said:


> I actually feel bad enough for starting a thread which made you create this one and remember this! It sounds horrific. Specially if there are cockroaches (only ever had to deal with these on a girls holiday while drunk. That didn't go well).
> 
> My worst ever date wasn't even that it was a terrible date. I'd met the guy through my cousin on night's out. Unfortunately when sober he was very boring and spent a lot of time complaining about his work and how all his friends had girlfriends. Dinner and Ted the movie. The movie I hated and there was someone else in the film snoring. He unfortunately still thinks it went well and any time we happen to bump into one another I just avoid he idea of going out again.
> 
> Not the worst date imaginable but my worst so far haha.


I don't know, that sounds pretty bad to me! It's okay, I just like having the two threads, now we have all the bases covered. 


amsawtell said:


> My worst date would have been the time the guy I was there with locked me in his apartment and went to bed.  I shivered for three hours on his couch before he got up and took me home.  I didn't have a phone and there were no windows.  I have not seen him since.  He was the guy I dated in high school and I'd thought I'd give him another chance.


Holy crap, that's scary-weird. If he was that strange in high school what made giving him a second chance seem like a good idea?


dale said:


> lol. yeah. the male ego is amazing, ain't it? it can find any excuse for women finding him sexy as justified, no matter how insane it comes off.


Sounded like a cautionary tale about getting drunk to me! I remember reading about a scenario like this in Cold Mountain, can't believe it actually happened. So what do you have against watermelon farming? (J/k)


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## Ariel (Mar 7, 2013)

To be honest it was usually my mother that pushed me to date him.  She thought he was handsome and I guess she wanted me to be with a handsome guy.  The worst guys I've dated we're guys my mom liked.  The best one has been the one and only guy my dad's liked. Go figure.


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## nicolam2711 (Mar 7, 2013)

Actually I also had a first and last date at 18 which I don't really remember. Started off lovely but far too many shots of whatever he bought later I needed a taxi home. Too much alcohol on a first date is not good.


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## Ariel (Mar 8, 2013)

I had a weird blind date once.  We had spoken on the phone a few times and we got along well on the phone.  Then when we met in person we had nothing to talk about.  He was far more interested in going to concerts, drinking, and playing pool while my interests have always leaned more towards books.

Anyway, he looked like a garden gnome and was about a head shorter than me--and I'm not tall.  We decided to remain friends and neither of us kept in touch.


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## WechtleinUns (Mar 11, 2013)

Well, I can tell you there was this one time when I tried to upgrade from the 2.4.3 Linux Kernel to the 2.6.4 Linux kernel. Oh, wait... do computers count?

Yes, I am aware that I have no life. It's okay though, because I work in I.T. :twisted:


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## Jagunco (Mar 11, 2013)

Hmmmm welllllll

I was once into the terror of internet dating and drove down to meet this bird who turned out to be crackers. I turned up at her house and was ushered and for a bit I actually thought she was squatting. There was no carpets or furniture and the bed was a mattress on the floor.

I nipped outside after a bit and hurredly phoned a friend to call me back and pretend there was an emergency. After the 'emergency call' I did off at a rate of knots, neither of us phoned the other again.

More recently I was on another internet date (yeah you never learn eh) and invited this lass out to a music night at a pub. It was great music as it was the night all the Folk music students at the local university were there to play their stuff so it was high quality stuff.

However my date proceeded to drape herself over me in the most provacative fasion. While I have nothing against this we were in a Folk Club with a lot of old reserved people in and i was trying to listen to the music. She was actually going for my Uncle Joe as well while the music played and it was obvious to anyone who looked over. To top it all she sweated like a walrus in a sauna and I was literally drenched to the skin with her sweat.

But it did not end there! Afterwards we went back to hers and moved to the bedroom for a bit "How's your father" and for various reasons I wasn't really in the mood but did my duty. She then went crackers on me and listed numerous things she wanted me to which I won't bore anyone here with. I hadn't been eager to begin with and had literally just finished so wasn't really up to round two. This however was lost on her and she fairly leapt accross the bed at me forcing me to actully tell her to back off, which is something the male pride should not have to bear.

Well that didn't work and at this point I'd had enough. I jumped out of bed landed in my trousers and left saying I had to be up early for work then made my escape after dropping her off at the off lience so she could purchase more beer which got me to thinking she liked a drink a little too much.

She text me the next day and didn't bother arguing or even replying when I informed her I wasn't keen to meet again


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## Foxee (Mar 11, 2013)

Jagunco said:


> I jumped out of bed landed in my trousers and left saying I had to be up early for work


There should be video of this and it could be used for escape training purposes.


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## JosephB (Mar 11, 2013)

Bad dates do make awesome stories. The woman next door to us was single for a long time -- a really lovely, smart woman. She went out with dud after dud, and we used to a big get a kick out of listening to her stories -- like the guy who was a reincarnated Egyptian prince. (Why isn't anyone a reincarnated Egyptian janitor?) Anyway, she eventually met a guy on eHarmony.com and is now happily married. Good for her, but I really miss her date recaps.


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## Lewdog (Mar 11, 2013)

So I took this girl out on what I thought would be a romantic picnic at a state park that was about an hour long drive away.  We stopped at a bagel shop and had some awesome sandwiches made then went to the park.  Well, then she had to go powder her nose, which we couldn't find a port-o-potty anywhere and drove around for about an hour all over the park to find one.  We finally did a little hiking before settling down to eat.  Everything was going fine until she asked me about her hair and what she should do with it.  I said something harmless like, "It might look nice with some highlights in it," which then led to her blowing her top.  "What?!?!?  My hair isn't nice enough for you the way it is??  Oh I get it, you like blondes more!  I've seen you looking at them and now I know for sure!" she flipped her wig.  So that led to a VERY long and awkward, ride home.


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## Ariel (Mar 11, 2013)

That sounds like she was the kind of girl you shouldn't take on outdoor dates.  Sounds a little too worried about looking perfect.


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## Lewdog (Mar 11, 2013)

amsawtell said:


> That sounds like she was the kind of girl you shouldn't take on outdoor dates.  Sounds a little too worried about looking perfect.




Haha yeah she would work perfect in an all white suit where the straps buckle in the back.  This same girl early on, while dating admitted to starting an argument just to see how I would act, and to see if I would get physical.  I made her mad because as she tried to argue with me I just kept agreeing with her, and when she asked why, I told her I try to avoid confrontations.  They are useless and a waste of time.


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## Foxee (Mar 11, 2013)

Ouch, Lew. That sounds like a lose-lose situation.

It's really weird, I had just started this thread not long ago when a guy from the past tried to 'reconnect' on Facebook. This was another dating experience that had actually been blocked out of memory, apparently. (See why I didn't date much? Dating is just...scary)

We had met at a music festival (a Christian one) and started writing back and forth. Seemed like we had a lot of compatible interests and I was given to believe that he really liked me. I was still in high school and totally unsavvy about guys so when he sent me a dozen roses on Valentine's day I thought it meant something. With one thing and another he finally asked if it would be all right to come from Maryland to Pennsylvania for a visit. My parents figured he was Christian, I hadn't been secretive about his letters (it's not like they were racy) and he'd be under their watchful eye.

Mr. Romantic calls my best friend at the time and asks what kind of gift I might like. Between the two of them they cooked up the idea of an anklet, she knew I wanted one. So when he drove up and met my mom and I everything was great, we led him from the turnpike back home and he called...his parents, supposedly, and let them know he was okay. That evening we go over to Best Friend's house where she and her BF snuggle in the recliner while Mr. Romantic and I stretch out on the couch and watch Aliens (what? to some people this is a good romantic flick!) and I'm wearing the anklet and feeling like million bucks...

...yeah. It's pathetic but it gets worse, read on if you dare. Besides, if you don't like this guy by now there's something ahead you'll like.

During the weekend that he was visiting, I was stupid enough to think his attention was on me. What my friend later explained was that he liked girls and women, period. Not only did he pay a lot of attention to me but to anything else in the vicinity of the female persuasion. I was too blinded to notice.

There was a family get together at my grandmother's, a nice safe thing to do. So we went and he sat in the kitchen with me (away from everyone else who was outside) and told me lies until my grandmother came in, puzzled, and said that he had a call. In the garage. On their phone (cellphones weren't big yet). The call was from...

*drumroll*

HIS GIRLFRIEND!

Who had been mugged, supposedly, and was in distress. Maybe.

Did you see this one coming? Because I certainly didn't.

One does not treat guests badly even if they are a great thundering pile of poop and wossname was there for another day or two by prior agreement. So, probably somewhat in denial, we thought we'd go (with my little brother accompanying) to the dam where there was swimming. 

I showed him a back way to get there and in traversing that road he didn't know that at one point where the road swerved and pitched up suddenly, there was a railroad track and an opposite bend. Being a showman by habit, good ol' wossname gassed it, probably quite proud of his car and shooting testosterone out of his pores. 

I swear to God I did not plan this.

When we landed it wasn't on the road, it was angled over the track with one wheel ripped almost off. Nobody was hurt but nobody was going anywhere either. He managed to inch it off the tracks, we found someone who let us use their phone and now I was stuck with a guy who had an actual girlfriend and yet had visited "To see what happened". The only way to get rid of him was for my dad to get a car dolly and drive his butt home.

My dad had to stay there overnight, thanks to the long drive, and met the girlfriend, who entered that evening with a drawn out, drippy, "Hiiiiiii, family!!" before falling all over wossname.

I love my Dad. If anything proves that he loves me it's that he managed to get rid of wossname and not go to jail for murder in the meantime.

My mother burned the letters. I was really angry because I wanted to do it.

So, present day (two days ago, in fact), wossname gets in touch on FB and asks if we can 'reconnect'. As Best Friend said, "There are good reasons why he is in your PAST." To give wossname a bit of credit, he apologized for being stupid in the past and was okay with my reply that was a nice version of, "Yes, you were stupid. I forgive you. Have a nice life."

Harsh? I don't think so.

***

btw, cheapo anklet only survived about as long as the 'date' did and ended about the same way.


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## Whisper (Mar 11, 2013)

After reading this thread, I feel better about my life.

Thank you.


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## Ariel (Mar 11, 2013)

Ouch, Foxee.

There was this guy in high school that for some reason (I can't see why, I always thought he was unattractive) all my female friends decided to date/sleep with.  He cheated on friend 1 with friend 2.  Friend 2 married him and was shocked(!) when he cheated on her (sadly not with friend 1 because I find those things hilarious).  Anyway, since high school any time I run into this guy or he finds me on Facebook he's tried to get me to sleep with him. I have always told him no. 

His latest Facebook attempt was answered with a straight-up, "No, I'm not interested. We're not friends and we aren't going to be friends.  Go away."

His reply was that I have issues.  That may be so but at least I don't have to try dealing with his scummy come-ons.


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## Lewdog (Mar 11, 2013)

I thought we decided a long time ago that we wouldn't bring up our facebook conversations on here!





Just kidding!  :redface2:  I guess I should clarify, I mean I'm kidding I'm not that scummy guy.


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## Whisper (Mar 11, 2013)

amsawtell said:


> His reply was that I have issues. That may be so but at least I don't have to try dealing with his scummy come-ons.



I think my reply would have been:

Yes I do have issues and I don't need more.


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## Ariel (Mar 11, 2013)

Lol, Lew.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure scummy guy can't write a grammatically correct sentence with a gun to his head.

Err, that doesn't make much sense, does it.

Whisper, I just blocked him and called it good.


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## alanmt (Mar 11, 2013)

I went on a blind date once with this guy who was only a few years older than me but he was the spitting image of my grandfather from 20 years earlier when I was a kid, and he even sounded like him. He was nice and cool and I felt very bad because it wasn't his fault, but every second with him was mind-bending and creepy and made me sick to my stomach.  

I once cooked a really fantastic gourmet meal for this woman I had just met, and she politely declined the wine because she was a newly recovering alcoholic and I felt really bad about that but then she ate maybe three bites of the rest of the dinner.  I found out later that she also had untreated anorexia. She answered every question, even open-ended ones, with no more than a few words, eyes darting around like a frightened bird's.  Ah well, I enjoyed the leftovers.

I am pretty sure I have already mentioned the woman who had inherited her mother's house and the stuff her mother left out on the kitchen counter three years earlier before going to the hospital was still there, and the place smelled like dying dog because she had three dogs and two of them were dying and in rough shape but she couldn't bear to put them to sleep and when she was trying to satisfy me orally she kept taking breaks to not so surreptitously glance at the nearby Cosmo magazine, which was open to an article on how to give a great bj, and put the recommended techniques woodenly into play and being a gentleman I had to pretend not to notice.


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## Kevin (Mar 11, 2013)

Reading these I feel as if I've missed out on some of Life's greatest... somethings.


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## Foxee (Mar 11, 2013)

amsawtell said:


> Anyway, since high school any time I run into this guy or he finds me on Facebook he's tried to get me to sleep with him. I have always told him no.


Sheesh, that could almost be a thread of it's own, bad Facebook come-ons.


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## Ariel (Mar 11, 2013)

Almost.  I like reading about all the bad dates but I kind of feel bad that the good dates have fallen so far down.


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## Foxee (Mar 11, 2013)

I guess I should probably add there. I've got to have a good date story somewhere.


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## Lewdog (Mar 11, 2013)

My best date ended up with a trip to the hospital I believe.


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## Foxee (Mar 11, 2013)

Lewdog said:


> My best date ended up with a trip to the hospital I believe.


Do we want to know?


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## Lewdog (Mar 11, 2013)

Foxee said:


> Do we want to know?



Some might, but not those you would want to meet in a dark alley somewhere.  Nah, it wasn't anything illegal, well at least what I can remember.


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## JosephB (Mar 12, 2013)

Lewdog said:


> My best date ended up with a trip to the hospital I believe.



Mine too -- 9 months later.


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## Kevin (Mar 12, 2013)

My grey matter had been forcably extricated. I perambulated in abject utter humiliation, limping, a shoe dangling at each collarbone; a stocking on one foot only. The vampirice had drained nearly every milliliter, worn every millimeter. As the sun rose I wondered: What place is this? How did I get here? Where's my car parked?  Discarded prey, I broke down and nearly wept.


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## Foxee (Mar 12, 2013)

Only NEARLY wept?


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## nicolam2711 (Mar 14, 2013)

This thread has led me to believe that I either only meet quite normal, sane, boring people. Or I have okay taste in men?
But anyway this is a very interesting thread.


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## Brock (Mar 15, 2013)

It was about 12 years ago.  I had just separated from my first wife and took on a roommate named Vince.  Vince and his girlfriend, Kelly would fight constantly to the point where I finally had to give him an ultimatum.  The fighting had to stop or he had to go.

There was one girl that I was very interested in that was in the equestrian program at our local college.  I took her out to eat for our first date and we hit it off great.  We had the same sarcastic sense of humor and liked the same type of music.  The date went well enough that she wanted it to continue back at my house.

As we pulled in the driveway I saw my friend Chad standing on the front porch drinking a beer.

"Brock, you need to come in here and see this," he said.  "Leave her in the car."

So I walk inside and of course my date followed anyways out of curiosity.  Chad guided me to Vince's bedroom where I saw blood all over the bed and floor.  Here Vince and Kelly got in to another fight, but this time they took it a step further and decided to swing golf clubs at each other.  Chad explained that Vince's club connected with Kelly's head and knocked her unconscious.  He then picked her up, threw her in his truck and drove to the hospital where he left her at the ER entrance and left.  I would later find out that they had to drill in to her skull in order to save her life.

The police then showed up at my house and wouldn't let anyone leave until 3 in the morning.  My date, Chad and I all sat on the couch for hours while the police turned my house in to a crime scene.

Needless to say, I never had another date with that girl.


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## Kevin (Mar 15, 2013)

Foxee said:


> Only NEARLY wept?


 She didn't bother to give me her number.


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## Lewdog (Mar 15, 2013)

Brock said:


> It was about 12 years ago.  I had just separated from my first wife and took on a roommate named Vince.  Vince and his girlfriend, Kelly would fight constantly to the point where I finally had to give him an ultimatum.  The fighting had to stop or he had to go.
> 
> There was one girl that I was very interested in that was in the equestrian program at our local college.  I took her out to eat for our first date and we hit it off great.  We had the same sarcastic sense of humor and liked the same type of music.  The date went well enough that she wanted it to continue back at my house.
> 
> ...




Did they yell fore?  If not that was very un-courteous of both of them.


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## popsprocket (Mar 15, 2013)

Not too many bad date experiences, but my worst was probably one where the girl had a bored and unimpressed look on her face the whole time. Couldn't change her mood no matter what so I tried to call it a night but she kept saying she was having fun and that we should go do the next thing. If she was having fun then it didn't show and it was kind of grinding on my nerves that I seemed to be the only one feeling really uncomfortable.

There was also the girl who gave me a full-face slap after _she_ asked if we could drive with the roof off and it messed up her hair. I gave her heaps of warning and she was dead-set on seeing what a convertible was like. Not going to lie, she was pretty nuts.


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## Morkonan (Mar 15, 2013)

I'm no Casanova and don't count bedpost notches, though I have a few... But, I've never had a "bad" first date. In fact, in any situation which I can think of that was a "first date", they've all turned out well and all have had followups, some turning into long-term relationships.

But, I have strict definitions of "first date." I don't count "introductions" where your friends hijack you into meeting _"this perfect girl that I know you'll love and you guys will be so great together and SQUEEEEEE!!!"_..... But, some of those didn't turn out to bad, either.

I've had a few strange experiences, though:

Me and a friend were more or less "set upon" by a sorority once. All at once... It was planned in advance. We were invited over for a meet & greet, but we found out later that nobody else was. I now consider myself properly meeted and greeted... 

I once was introduced to a girl and nothing much came of it, since she didn't show much interest. Then, she rethought things months later and acted as if I was her long-lost love the next time I saw her. (Nice girl, strange though. I think she had snakes in her head.)

I met a woman at a club, had an awesome time, things got hot and heavy, we were headed out the door to her place when she turned to me and told me she was married and was aiming to get back at her husband for cheating on her... With visions of shotguns and police lights, I declined to pursue that particular relationship any further. 

I took my first "real" girlfriend to see the movie "Q." It was... a horrible movie. But, we didn't notice, fell in love, had a relationship over several years.. Turned out nicely, despite the movie.


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## Foxee (Mar 15, 2013)

Brock said:


> The police then showed up at my house and wouldn't let anyone leave until 3 in the morning.  My date, Chad and I all sat on the couch for hours while the police turned my house in to a crime scene.
> 
> Needless to say, I never had another date with that girl.


Ouch, that might be the wrong kind of excitement for a first date.


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## The Rust on the Razor (Mar 18, 2013)

A friend and I driving along, spotted two of friends old school mates outside local KFC. Pick them up, we were on our way to a party- did they want to come? Yes indeed, although they were still eating KFC and one of these school friends was chomping on a hot apple pie. I had long hair at the time, new friend (now in the back seat) had sticky apple pie hands- of coursethe natural course of action here is here you go grubby paws, meet nice clean hair, the perfect cloth of choice when you haven't picked up a moist towelette with your dinner. The outcome? Not so bad. We've been married 11 years now and have two fine boys who thankfully aren't fans of apple pie.


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## Kryptex (Mar 26, 2013)

I'm 17, so I've yet to experience what you all have been through :rofl:

But I have had a few bad ones, the worst of which was when I went on a date with this girl and we went to the cinema to watch a film. It was past 9 and she fell asleep whilst watching it. I went to wake her up, and shoved her a little. This resulted in her having some spasm of some sort and punched me in the face, all the while, bringing up her knee, which hit the drink that was in the holder, causing diet pepsi to smother itself on my clothes.

Not the best of dates.


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## Morkonan (Mar 26, 2013)

Kryptex said:


> I'm 17, so I've yet to experience what you all have been through
> 
> But I have had a few bad ones, the worst of which was when I went on a date with this girl and we went to the cinema to watch a film. It was past 9 and she fell asleep whilst watching it. I went to wake her up, and shoved her a little. This resulted in her having some spasm of some sort and punched me in the face, all the while, bringing up her knee, which hit the drink that was in the holder, causing diet pepsi to smother itself on my clothes.
> 
> Not the best of dates.



Actually, it's things like that which make life so enjoyable and relationships so memorable.  Just think - If you and she had hit it off, gotten engaged, married and had kids, you'd have a wonderful story to tell them.

"Your mom punched me in the face and dump a drink in my lap, just like she does at home!"


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## JosephB (Mar 26, 2013)

I wasn't in a fraternity, but I had friends who were. At this one frat party, they were serving "hunch punch." For those who don't know, hunch punch is a zillion proof grain alcohol mixed with Hawaiian fruit punch. The problem is, for the uninitiated, it goes down easy and you can't really tell how powerful it is. The guys drink beer mostly, so I'm pretty sure it's designed primarily to get girls wasted. Anyway, I met a girl who seemed like she wasn't that drunk and when some of us decided to move on to a bar, I asked her along. Without saying anything, at a stoplight, she opened the window -- not the door as you would expect -- put her head out and thew up all over my passenger side door -- didn't even come close to getting any of it on the street. Try spending your morning cleaning vomit off your car -- all with a really bad hangover. Not too fun.


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## spartan928 (Mar 27, 2013)

I went on a couple dates with a veterinarian tech years ago and we seemed to hit it off. After a couple nights out she asked me to come over to her place and she'd make dinner. She talked a lot about how much she loved to cook so I was looking forward to eating home cooked eggplant parmagiana instead of my typical single guy fare of ziti and ragu sauce. The one caveat of the evening she laid on me was she had a few cats. No big deal I thought, my kids had two cats. Hell, I liked cats, no problemo. When I arrived, the place smelled exquisite. I saw 3 cats wandering around, gently brushing against me. Sweet and friendly felines. This is nice I thought, so we downed the eggplant parm and a bottle of wine. She asked if I'd like a tour. Of course I said. We went through her little apartment and she showed me all her eclectic furnishings and decorations. 

Then we came to the basement. 

"Keep in mind I said I have a few cats," she said standing at the basement door. "You know, it's just really hard for me. I really can't ever let them be put down." 

I was confused at what she was driving at until the door swung open. She flicked on the lights and a swarm of at least 15 cats scurried off to all corners of the basement. A dark gray feline hiding in a pocket along the stairwell screeched and howled at me so close to my face I shrieked right back at him in some kind of idiotic self-defense. Every one these cats was completely wild and pissed off. 

"So, you got a few cats," I said with a touch of sarcasm.

She went on to say how much she loved them all and could never part with them. Actually, she took decent care of them, but the sight of all those shrieking, angry cats was too much. I politely thanked her for a nice night and we parted ways soon after to our separate lives and separate cats.


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## spartan928 (Mar 27, 2013)

sorry..ipad hiccups


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## spartan928 (Mar 27, 2013)

edit


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