# The Universe is but a Tapestry



## Smith (Jun 2, 2016)

We all had to write a poem in my 6th hour on the last day of school. I wrote this at the last possible second, as usual.

The other kids liked it, and so did my teacher, but I don't think it's finished. Not even close. Or maybe I thought it was, but now I see greater potential for it.

---

We're all threads in the tapestry of existence,
weaving in and out, changing our color and material,
contributing through the unknown length we've been given.

We decide who to intertwine with,
and we decide who to sever ties with,
in a bigger picture that we won't see finished.

Sometimes we lose sight of our thread,
or question if we should've ever started.
Don't worry: life works itself out in the end.

Because without a single one of us,
the whole thing would unravel.
We're all what holds everything together.

Trace your needle back, connect the dots,
and you'll see everything's happened for a reason.
We part ways for now, but we might cross paths again.


----------



## afk4life (Jun 2, 2016)

That's pretty good. I'd say -- and it's just my opinion -- maybe instead of

weaving in and out, changing our color and material

Maybe use "shifting" instead? It's a nicer word imho poetically. And we don't always decide whom to intertwine with, and sometimes people cut ties off (I'd choose a better way phrase this without using those words). You're way optimistic about life/people, I'm not. I'd say while it's good just maybe that thread sometimes becomes piano wire or something... but like I said I'm pretty cynical.


----------



## DesertPrince (Jun 3, 2016)

Indeed it is a Tapestry ..
Unfinished poems give us the chance to imagine the end of them
Thank you


----------



## escorial (Jun 3, 2016)

so often there is this underlining trend in your work about relationships..which is cool and it works but I was more interested in the side of the poem about life experiences..contradictory response but I would like to see you expand on your poetic horizons and see what you come up with...


----------



## Sonata (Jun 3, 2016)

Second line, second stanza - I would suggest "sever ties" and not "cut ties".

Final line - I would delete "ways for" and lose the comma so it reads "We part now but we might cross paths again." 

Minor nits as on the whole I like it, as I usually do with your poems.


----------



## Firemajic (Jun 3, 2016)

Life, as a tapestry is a cool metaphor, Smith... Tighten these threads, make them colorful, keep your message clear and concise, avoid sweeping statements and keep this personal, I want to hear about Your personal experiences, your own beautiful tapestry... This has a lot of potential, and I love the concept.. life is like a tapestry, threads of joy, pain, grief, and disappointment, disillusion and wisdom gained through your personal journey, woven into something unique... your personal story..


----------



## Phil Istine (Jun 3, 2016)

I loved this piece; I find the metaphor of a tapestry and life quite compelling.
I feel that the second stanza could flow more easily if you slightly alter L1 and L2.

Not wanting to re-write your work for you as it's yours but:

We decide who to intertwine with.
We decide who to cut ties with.

might flow better as:

We decide with whom to intertwine.
We decide with whom to sever ties. (thanks to Sonata for 'sever').

I love this concept and hope that you post the finished article for all to see.


----------



## -xXx- (Jun 3, 2016)

this would make a fabulous open to a themed senior class publication;
personal detail explorations of each member of the larger class "swatch of life".
it would be even cooler as an "all city project".
one of the scholarship foundations might even be willing to sponsor
it in conjunction with faculty oversight and submission. 
i would be inclined to put the lovely moirai throughout.

dreamweavers indeed


----------



## Mesafalcon (Jun 5, 2016)

interesting read


----------



## Smith (Jun 5, 2016)

afk4life said:


> That's pretty good. I'd say -- and it's just my opinion -- maybe instead of
> 
> weaving in and out, changing our color and material
> 
> Maybe use "shifting" instead? It's a nicer word imho poetically. And we don't always decide whom to intertwine with, and sometimes people cut ties off (I'd choose a better way phrase this without using those words). You're way optimistic about life/people, I'm not. I'd say while it's good just maybe that thread sometimes becomes piano wire or something... but like I said I'm pretty cynical.



Maybe "altering" would be better. Regardless, thanks for getting me to rethink the word choice!

"decide who to cut ties with" applies to you and I, as well as the people who are out of our control, and cut ties off with us. It's universal. 

I used to not be so optimistic. I've come a long way, and I'm very fortunate. I hope that I will have the strength and wisdom to face life's next challenge.



DesertPrince said:


> Indeed it is a Tapestry ..
> Unfinished poems give us the chance to imagine the end of them
> Thank you



Thanks for reading!



escorial said:


> so often there is this underlining trend in your work about relationships..which is cool and it works but I was more interested in the side of the poem about life experiences..contradictory response but I would like to see you expand on your poetic horizons and see what you come up with...



That's part of what I meant when I said that I think this is unfinished. I want to take this piece and explore with it. Go places that I've never gone with in my poetry.

Cheers esc! 



Sonata said:


> Second line, second stanza - I would suggest "sever ties" and not "cut ties".
> 
> Final line - I would delete "ways for" and lose the comma so it reads "We part now but we might cross paths again."
> 
> Minor nits as on the whole I like it, as I usually do with your poems.



Ooo, I like sever.

Aww, thank-you Sonata. ^_^



Firemajic said:


> Life, as a tapestry is a cool metaphor, Smith... Tighten these threads, make them colorful, keep your message clear and concise, avoid sweeping statements and keep this personal, I want to hear about Your personal experiences, your own beautiful tapestry... This has a lot of potential, and I love the concept.. life is like a tapestry, threads of joy, pain, grief, and disappointment, disillusion and wisdom gained through your personal journey, woven into something unique... your personal story..



Appreciate it Jul! 

Yes, I think this unfinished piece has opened a whole new room to a big house I'm exploring. Or hell, maybe a new house altogether. A vacation home.

Will definitely create something that's finished from this soon.



Phil Istine said:


> I loved this piece; I find the metaphor of a tapestry and life quite compelling.
> I feel that the second stanza could flow more easily if you slightly alter L1 and L2.
> 
> Not wanting to re-write your work for you as it's yours but:
> ...



Flow and rhythm are things I've always struggled with.

I agree, I like "sever". 

Hope to have something more complete soon!



-xXx- said:


> this would make a fabulous open to a themed senior class publication;
> personal detail explorations of each member of the larger class "swatch of life".
> it would be even cooler as an "all city project".
> one of the scholarship foundations might even be willing to sponsor
> ...



I like that idea, would definitely be very cool to see everyone's "tapestry" so to speak. 



Mesafalcon said:


> interesting read



Thanks.


----------



## CJL4307 (Jun 5, 2016)

An interesting take on life. I really enjoyed the images you created, likening our lives to that of a tapestry. A tapestry can be a beautiful work of art or a dismal mess but either way it was crafted with intention, care, purpose. It is largely up to us to see something great become of it. I especially enjoyed envisioning these intertwined threads. Each part working together, in what is an increasingly fragmented world.


----------



## Bard_Daniel (Jun 6, 2016)

You definitely conjured up some poetics here, good sir!

Definitely worth the read! Thanks! : D


----------



## Smith (Jun 23, 2016)

Thank-you! 

When I get time I really want to keep working with this idea. I think I could refine it and make it something even better.


----------

