# Punny Poetry!



## Spudley

Hehehe!   :twisted:  Punny Poetry.

Any kind of poem is okay, as long as it prominently features at least one pun.

Haiku is popular for this sort of thing, and limericks are also often punny (see Penelope's Fishmonger Fred for a couple of good examples). But I'm leaving it open; I just want to see what comes up.  

Right. Here goes, starting with a haiku.


For Hamburger Hill
General must muster his men
So, he mustard them


[edit] ps - hmmm..... there's a certain poetic irony in the fact that this marks my 300th post! :lol:


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## larryta3

Once there was a lady that writes
On her computer instead of types
She loved to search for sites
And flies her kites
She doesn't want to give up her rights


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## Penelope

The grey rabbit raced to her lair.
A whippet was hot on her trail.
Hounded to a breath of a hair.
The dog's day would surely not fail.
She bounded across the field
into the bramble bush.
The whippet had to yeild,
his loss, no win, nor a push.
The hound was limp and panting
by the rabbit's run.
A hot dog, I'll be granting
no relish, not even a bun.

(best I could do - for now)


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## larryta3

I saw a fur ball of rodent one day
He was actually a mole under some hay
When I tried mowing it down
I saw mold on a glass that it licked around
Wonder where that animal went on top of the bay


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## SinamonAngel

A Fish Tale 

...and they swam and they swam 
til they reached a water hill 
...and they bobbed up and down 
as they enjoyed a little thrill 

...they laughed and laughed 
having snuck out from their school 
...but soon they would find out 
why tis not good to act the fool. 

...all at once came a fright 
with a splash and a cold spray 
...the surfers were skimming 
and rolling atop the cool waves. 

...and they ducked and weaved 
and they almost lost a TAIL fin 
...and they swam and they swam 
til in school, they were again. 

ARenee August 13, 2003 

not sure if this qualifies as a true pun, but the lil addition of TAIL may make it so.... I enjoyed reading the punny posts! 

 :lol:


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## larryta3

why are we here right living to be
there or anywhere in between like a bee
swarming around smelling sweet flowers
or existing with great magical powers
can't I just be me


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## Penelope

There once was a fishmonger name of Stu. 
Stu floundered from a bout of the flu. 
His clientele sent him mail 
and snails by the pail. 
Stu's muscles, they grew and they grew.


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## larryta3

there once was a kitty
who loved life and was so witty
she laugh at anything 
from jokes to her earring
and of course she had a nice kitty

yes, her kitty was little at first
but it grew until she had a nice nest egg or burst
her jokes were great
she made laughter with every plate
she became the famous kitty with humor thirst


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## larryta3

there once was a teddy bear
which loved you as if to care
she threw big kisses and hugs
and gave big bear tugs
but she clings to the one that bugs


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## larryta3

a lady was here
but she couldn't hear a thing
so she screamed until


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## larryta3

there was a shiny bright sun
who wanted some company with a run
he found a man and his son
to help with his fun
yet the race was won by Mr. Pun


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## chop_n_change

There was a young man from Hyde,
who fell down a sewer and died,
his unfortunate brother,
fell down another,
and now they're interred side by side.

 :twisted:

if you don't get it, just say the word interred, and see what else it sounds like that might fit the whole sewer theme.


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## Spudley

There was a huge fellow named Shaw
Who was eight feet tall from his head to the floor.
His growth finally stopped,
When he ate some blood-covered rock:
After that he never grusome ore.


(and in case you didn't get it, the pun is "grusome ore" --> "grew some more"...  yeah, yeah; I know ... *groooaaaaaaan* )


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## chop_n_change

Our Spudley's a writer who would,
just keep punning all day if he could,
although big tall guy Shaw,
had grown eight feet or more,
the real groan was the pun there, Spud.

(just joking, of course my fellow englishman!) :lol:


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## chop_n_change

There once was a lady called Pen,
who felt a bit caged by her name, now and then,
caught drunk stealing cars,
and always between bars,
she now swims in the lock with a hen.

errr.... yeah.

(no relation to the Pen who frequents this forum. i'm sure she's a nice lady and doesn't get drunk and steal cars or swim with hens(!?)  :lol: )


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## larryta3

One day a man found a dollar
He put it into the bank and hollered
I'm going to be rich
And told of his winning pitch
Now the man won a million with a special collar


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## Rage2Fury

*Lost & Found*

Black and Blue,
It comes back to you.
Tattered, ripped and torn apart.

Suddenly you remember the day it was lost,
Only wanting to forget.


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## gordon

Spud u like gave me a fright
When all the puns had begun
To wear me down caused me to frown
Went for a drink only way to think
Carling lager god bless you
Gave me a thought or maybe two.
Drunk to continue
In innuendo


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## Rage2Fury

*Listen*

A thought of tragedy,
Thought of sin,
Insane thoughts,
I keep within.


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## larryta3

He has  his wire rim glasses for reading
And of course he is still leading
In the race that requires drinking from tall glasses
And peanut butter, banana and malasses
Yes, he comes from good breading


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## Beatrice Boyle

She was stunning, wow, what a catch
 And truly, the best of the batch
 He was truly smitten
 By the love bug was bitten
The Pyromaniac had found his match! :twisted:


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## Spudley

hehe! Good one Bea. I like it


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## larryta3

He caught her in the sunny light
And her clothes were shimmering bright
She was drinking very lite, diet pepsi of course
And the cold weather made her hoarse
When she saw him, she was a beautiful sight


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## Beatrice Boyle

Poor Tom was a terrible sleeper
And became the neighborhood peeper
At the thought 
He'd be caught
He would sneer
But he wound up in jail
Where he proceeded to wail
"I was at the 'peek' of my career!" :cheers:


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## Rage2Fury

Hunnie bunny look so fine...
In that red dress, oh
So divine
Taken
Aback 
Look at you
By manners you lack
Hunnie bunny view askew...


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## larryta3

Once there was a little blue pen
He could write many things in a tin
Alice took the pen with her
At which her kitten was in her pen just purr
What happened to the pen is a mystery to send


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## Rage2Fury

*Street Monger*

Tin can...
Out on the street
Myself looking for heat
One man taken aback by food 
Bin man...
A sinned, forgotten trash can man
Sleeping with tin can rats
Cold now lonely
Alone...


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## Capulet

A tiny shack up the way
Where spinners work all night and day
The shack caught fire, they spun so hard
Best efforts fail, no flames retard
A siren rings, the fire truck tolls 
For loom, the bell tolls

 :shock:


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## Penelope

LOL - Great one Catapult!


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## Capulet

Capulet!


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## Rage2Fury

*smiles*  Ding, ding, ding!


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## AdamR

Capulet said:
			
		

> A tiny shack up the way
> Where spinners work all night and day
> The shack caught fire, they spun so hard
> Best efforts fail, no flames retard
> A siren rings, the fire truck tolls
> For loom, the bell tolls



Well done! Excellent!


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## Capulet

Ack, except I didn't proofread my own writing well enough.

It should be "a fire truck ROLLS" not tolls!!! :shock: 

No pudding for me tonight. :cry:


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## larryta3

There was once a man who could
Beat any person around that should
He loved his veggies and also his beets
But his downfall was his smell feet
Imagine a man from the Smelly Woods


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## Rage2Fury

Five Syllable Mad House
____________________

Goblins and ghoulies,
ghonies and ghost"s".

Flying the graveyard
must not leave their posts.

When Halloween comes
they'll all have some fun.

But when it is gone
their puns will be none.


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## larryta3

There was a lonesome ghost
Who Booooooooooo with burnt toast
He wanted to scare
But couldn't yell or care
Imagine him wanting a special toast with pot roast


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## Rage2Fury

(toast... you recently posted another poem with toast in it.  Something special?)

All around the cardboard box,
the police chased the inmate.
A girl walked by, and she started to cry,
turns out she was evil.

Three dead cops...


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## Beatrice Boyle

Spudley, as a fellow lover of puns, I think that,   since you started this post, I think it needs a refresher course from you on what constitutes a pun...I think we've gone off course here, don't you?  :-k


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## larryta3

I really can't see it...maybe i am blind with my glasses.....yes, maybe we need to be enlighted again on puns...


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## Spudley

Pun: (n) A humourous play on words which plays on similarities in spelling or sound between two words or phrases which would otherwise have entirely different meanings.


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## larryta3

There was a old lady named Sue
Who loved her console tv that was blue
But she loved helping people better 
Consoling sick and elderly depends on weather
She watched tv when she could,too


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## Rage2Fury

Together you must forget her,
and find peace amongst yourselves.
To finder you must reminder,
that the methane has passed!


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## larryta3

There was once a man that could swing a ball
The fartherest of any golfer around and he was tall
He had him a nice old caddie who
Drank hot tea at lunch with his own caddy, too
He won the game that was written on the wall


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## larryta3

There was once a bridge playing cat
Who loved the game so much that she sat
For hours and when she got up
She was hungry for it was time for sup
Now she had to cross the bridge for that


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## Savien

He tumbled out of his peugot
and tired to hold on, but out he did go
into a thousand pieces he did blow
and once a driver who could never be beat
wandered the track, trying to find his own seat.


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## Savien

Three very old and tattered Serbian planes
intending to inflict some serious pains
alas, all three broke down in flight
and commenting on their useless plight
the american commander: "Serbs you right!"


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## Anyachan

*not sure if this is really a pun or not*

Love and death the same to me
(They flow as though a river)
I must decide which I shall be
A lover or a liver?


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