# Dost thou proclaim sanity?



## Rick Keeble (Jul 22, 2017)

_In a world ruled by gods and men,
__who holds in their hand nature's pen?

When words are smitten to deaf ears,
dost one conclude their deepest fears?

Thy skilled soothsayer is portrayed,
as nothing more than a beggar paid.

A wandering derelict of the past,
his bardic tongue now shall avast.

On a park bench, he sleeps at night,
oft Poe's "The Raven" he will recite.

'Tis thy chilly nights he dreads the most,
so in his prose, he gets engrossed.

The birds doth come and hearken in,
as he weaves his tales and rhymes within.

This man was once like you and me,
so sad this world could never see._


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## sas (Jul 22, 2017)

Well, I love this. But, I warn you, I once got smacked around for posting a poem speaking with a foreign tongue (Shakespeareian). I was hooked off the stage. 

Nice work. Sas


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## Firemajic (Jul 22, 2017)

Hello, Rick... I must say I am quite impressed... it is not easy to use a set of rhyming couplets without sounding like Dr. Seuss ... I love the voice and mood of this poem, and your message is elegant and melancholy. This is a fabulous poem! Bravo


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## sas (Jul 22, 2017)

I should have said what Fire said. Smiles. Love it. Impressive work.


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## Darren White (Jul 22, 2017)

Budgie, applause


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## SilverMoon (Jul 24, 2017)

Rick, getting past the 'tis and thy(s) I find this poem to be remarkably well crafted - brilliant, indeed. It's nearly 2am here, so will return tomorrow_ which I guess is today _with more. Laurie


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## CrimsonAngel223 (Jul 24, 2017)

Thought-provoking. Splendid piece.


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## Warhol (Jul 24, 2017)

I very much enjoyed this, I have no critique for it. This piece made my day.


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## Chris Green (Jul 25, 2017)

Very nicely crafted with an olde world feel. The only small suggestion I would make is in the second line, I think that "hand" should be plural not "hold" but that is just my opinion. The opening line speaks of "Gods and men" more than one. So the second line using "hand" feels off to me, but overall a masterpiece of writing.


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## andrewclunn (Jul 25, 2017)

I both like and meta-like this.


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## SilverMoon (Jul 26, 2017)

> Rick, getting past the 'tis and thy(s) I find this poem to be remarkably well crafted - brilliant, indeed. It's nearly 2am here, so will return tomorrow_ which I guess is today _with more. Laurie


_"I'm late, I'm late for a very important date
I can't be late for Rick - but I was Rick, because I was sick."_
​
Now, on the mend I can tend to this extraordinary poem of yours (got Shakespeare out of my mind)

Your ABAB rhyme scheme is impeccable. Even has me thinking of Frost's couplets in his "Neither Out Far Nor In Deep" ( I can only slant rhyme. Had tried writing a ABAB about my plucky cat but she could not digest it, spat it out on me then hissed. So, never gave it another go...)

OK. I favored the these last four couplets because you directly bring plight of the human condition to your derelict. All above lacks the very personal, the very moving which you describe so masterly, here. In fact, this can read very effectively as a poem on its own. 
_
On a park bench, he sleeps at night,
 oft Poe's "The Raven" he will recite.

 'Tis thy chilly nights he dreads the most,
 so in his prose, he gets engrossed.

 The birds doth come and listen in,
 as he weaves his tales and rhymes within.

 This man was once like you and I,
 so sad this world has passed him by._ 


I do have a question about your choice of title. I read more of the lonely here than insanity.All in all, your word choices are precise and again, as so with your rhyming. Bravo!


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## Space Cadet (Jul 28, 2017)

Great piece, Rick.  You can really craft a couplet.  Such a creative poem and a fun read.  Bravo, Sir.  -- Wesley.


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## Rick Keeble (Aug 8, 2017)

Laurie, the simple answer is....I came up with the title first and built the poem around it!


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## SilverMoon (Aug 8, 2017)

That's how it works with me sometimes. Or maybe just the first, middle or last line of a poem or a grouping of words.


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## Deleted member 56014 (Aug 9, 2017)

_This man was once like you and I,
so sad this world has passed him by.

_There's no need to say anything. You know what you did and you know you did it good.
Great job. I never built anything around a title. I feel like if I put a title on it, I create a barrier, a limit as to what I can write. Stupid I know. Anyway, great job once again!


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## Sara Ella (Sep 12, 2017)

Well done Rick  I love the rhyming and the old feel - both the words and the subject. Nicely done!


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## Articulate Lady (Sep 12, 2017)

Very well done. I think the hardest part for me is making things rhyme in poetry, but this is very well done. Thank you for sharing.


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