# A Shock Absorber's Story



## Gaurav (Feb 13, 2016)

My soul resides in the driver’s seat,
But my heart’s inside four tires.
*
A confused, perplexed being I am,
They call me a shock absorber.
*
Whenever the car bumps into trouble,
I lead the way through all the struggle.
*
There’s pride in the pain that I suffer every day,
Speed breakers and accidents which I regularly face.
*
I pull off my work with grace and courage,
There’s beauty to my life, with a farce little stain.
*
The driver in the seat never bears any brunt,
The shock absorber is the one who suffers from the front.
*
It affects me a lot, but I don’t stop my work.
The more you hit me, the better I become.
*
The dude inside the wheel inspires me the most,
Whenever I’m down, I look up to his stunts.
*
He doesn’t even crib in darkest of hours,
He bursts out in a second and saves the day.
*
I want to be like that airbag who’s beyond any pain,
He’s learnt to find joy in a life of stain!


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## PrinzeCharming (Feb 13, 2016)

Good evening, I'm Anthony. 

I'll share my thoughts on your work with two colors.

Red for feedback, blue for subject of feedback. 



Gaurav said:


> My soul resides in the driver’s seat, (Okay, so instantly - car metaphors. I am intrigued.)
> But my heart’s inside four tires. (Interesting concept. That's powerful. Not just one tire, but all four. Open for interpretation for audience. Good.)
> 
> A confused, perplexed being I am, (An emotional connection. Nice.)
> ...





I like the metaphors until the end. That's when it ... goes off the road. The passion is maintained throughout the piece. I love the raw emotions conveyed. Take my feedback with an open mind. You have a lot of potential to build and refine this into a greater piece. Thanks for sharing!


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## Gaurav (Feb 13, 2016)

Thank you so much for such a detailed review! I really appreciate your feedback.


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## PrinzeCharming (Feb 13, 2016)

No, seriously, continue expressing yourself through writing. Rev up your creative engine. Take a test drive through different methods and styles. Anyone to say their, "_*soul resides in the driver's seat" *_and _*"their heart is inside four tires" *_has such a strong will-power to move through obstacles. Just that line alone sets up many different perspectives. It could mean the passion to be the leader (the driver) of something larger (a car). It implies commitment and determination. Their soul isn't just there for a vacation, but it RESIDES in that seat. That's powerful. Then, to say their heart is inside four tires. That draws so much empathy out of me. I can feel the value behind that attempt. In fact, I am also a shock absorber. I can relate so much to this piece!


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## Gaurav (Feb 13, 2016)

I tried to personify my character (shock absorber) which itself was a metaphor for a man suffers due to others but stays optimistic.

I am lucky that while writing, just to maintain the flow, I happened to use this style. But to be honest, I never really thought it could get multi dimentional perspective. That's just sheer luck.


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## PrinzeCharming (Feb 13, 2016)

Gaurav said:


> I tried to personify my character (shock absorber) whoch itself was a metaphor for a man suffers due to others but stays optimistic.



Trust me. I know what you meant. That's what makes it amazing. 



Gaurav said:


> I am lucky that while writing, just to maintain the flow, I happened to use this style. But to be honest, I never really thought it could get multi dimentional perspective. That's just sheer luck.




When you  write something, then it's interpreted correctly, AND it goes deeper into  meaning. That's when you know you did something right.


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## Gaurav (Feb 16, 2016)

Thanks for the compliment!


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## escorial (Feb 21, 2016)

one of the strangest topics i've ever read for a poem......


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## Bloggsworth (Feb 21, 2016)

Good stuff but, as has been pointed out, needs editing to improve it further.

As a former car mechanic, I regret to inform you that the springs are the shock absorbers and what people call shock absorbers are actually dampers damping the oscillations of the springs.


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## Gaurav (Feb 27, 2016)

escorial said:


> one of the strangest topics i've ever read for a poem......


Not sure if it's a compliment or criticism!


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## escorial (Feb 27, 2016)

never crit man....cool


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## Gaurav (Feb 27, 2016)

escorial said:


> never crit man....cool



Just kidding! Thanks for your comment.


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