# And just walk away



## BostonsOwn (Feb 4, 2021)

I know I’m dyin’
Just a bit as time goes by

And you know, I’m crying’
I still see that look in your eye

So while you try to say
You got nothin left
I feel you say my name
In the back of my chest

So here we are, we’re dyin’
And there’s no goin’ back

But all the same, I’m cryin’
Dreams are never made to last


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## ritudimrinautiyal (Feb 5, 2021)

Dreams are never made to last. And hope is not supposed to die. 
Nice one. 
Keep writing

Ritu


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## 2020Syd2020 (Feb 6, 2021)

Hello, 

I like the structure and the way this reads in terms of flow, I’ve made a few suggestions below for you.

Cheers

Syd






BostonsOwn said:


> I know I’m dyin’
> Just a bit as time goes by
> 
> I think _just a bit _weakens the impact of the first line
> ...


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## BostonsOwn (Feb 6, 2021)

2020Syd2020 said:


> Hello,
> 
> I like the structure and the way this reads in terms of flow, I’ve made a few suggestions below for you.
> 
> ...



Thanks - I’m still working with it - I took the beat and structure from faith no mores “take this bottle”


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## Annie. Marie (Feb 6, 2021)

This sounds like it would make a fantastic song. I also like how you take away the "g" in your ing suffixes. 

My only edit would be to continue your pattern and take away the "g" in L4.

Thank you for sharing!

-Annie


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