# [march] (1 Viewer)



## midnightpoet (Mar 4, 2016)

Cool wind blowing free
wildflowers sunning themselves
warm colors waving


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## aj47 (Mar 4, 2016)

midnightpoet said:


> Cool wind blowing free
> wildflowers sunning themselves
> warm colors waving



I love the third line. But with the motion of waving, you may wish the sunflowers to be moving instead of lying in the sun.  Also, I think the wind line could be improved--*wind* is a strong word for the picture you paint in the next two lines.  By that I mean a wind might be something the flowers would seek shelter from.


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## PrinzeCharming (Mar 4, 2016)

Tony,

This was an enjoyable piece. I believe it can really come to life with a few suggestions. 



midnightpoet said:


> Cool wind blowing free
> wildflowers *sunning themselves*
> warm colors waving



First, I'll agree with *annie *- 



astroannie said:


> *wind* is a strong word for the picture you paint in the next two lines.  By that I mean a wind might be something the flowers would seek shelter from.



Be delicate with your piece. Be gentle to the beautiful wildflowers you created.  In addition, be more creative without the redundancy. I know you have it in you. Wind blows, water is wet. You know? Guide us further into this imaginary field. 

*Example: *

Cool breeze tickles leaves, 
wildflowers sunning themselves
warm colors waving 


Thank you for sharing!


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