# Oedipus Rex (297 Words) [Language]



## garnerdavis (Jun 21, 2011)

This is a post from my blog. I received a comment that the "kissing" scene is unbelievable. Yet it actually happened, in real life. Do you find it unbelievable? Is it written in a manner that's unconvincing?  Does it matter whether it's believable or not?

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Boy, am I pissed!  Oedipus has gone missing, and all signs point to my wife, Sophia, as the guilty party.   Oedipus is my pet iguana, named after the ancient Greek king who married his mother and killed his father.  Not that I condone such behavior. No, I just thought it fitting to put all the money my parents spent on a degree in Greek history to some use. 

Sophia's had it in for Oedipus since the day I brought him home last year.  As I recall, her first words on seeing him were “the only way that lizard stays in this house is in the form of a wallet!”  Nonetheless, she vehemently denies any involvement in his disappearance.  But she’s the one with opportunity and motive, especially after last week’s lip-lock fiasco. 

Sure, she claims she was simply making friends with him, yet she clearly didn’t know when to quit.  Oedipus behaved the perfect gentleman when Sophia rubbed his flank.  And when she chucked his chin, he even nuzzled her fingers.  She should’ve stopped there.  I know I would’ve.  Instead, she took liberties, ones which – I might add – understandably went unappreciated.  She kissed the iguana on his mouth; in my opinion, an assault no different from a man shaking hands with a woman he barely knows, and then grabbing her breast!  The obviously-affronted Oedipus reacted somewhat like the woman would in such a situation; he bit Sophia’s lip … and then dangled from it like some bizarre tribal ornament. 

The timing of Oedipus vanishing from sight, the very next day, did not escape my notice.  And in hindsight, I’m also starting to wonder about that evening’s supper entrée.  Sophia had never cooked “barbecued pulled chicken” before, and I suspect she’ll never have to cook it again either.


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## Bilston Blue (Jun 21, 2011)

I think it passes as believable, as it should if it happened and you don't try to over-embellish the scene, which you don't here. In answer to the question you ask:


> Does it matter whether it's believable or not?


Yes, it does matter. If it isn't believable the reader will put it down quicker than... well, quicker than I can think of a decent witticism to insert here, but you get the point. The skill people like JK Rowling, Stephen King, and Dan Brown demonstrate, regardless of what you think of them as writers, is their constant ability to suspend your disbelief.


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## garza (Jun 21, 2011)

The male of the species _iguana iguana_ is properly called a garrobo. Under the circumstances described he will bite. What I find difficult to believe is Sophia's behaviour. I would also question her ability to properly barbeque a garrobo. The meat can be quite tough and they are more often made into soups or stews. Lengthy simmering would probably be needed before the meat could be pulled to be grilled. If she did all this, then to make me, as a reader, believe it, more information about Sophia needs to be provided.


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## Sam (Jun 22, 2011)

Bilston Blue said:


> I think it passes as believable, as it should if it happened and you don't try to over-embellish the scene, which you don't here. In answer to the question you ask:
> 
> Yes, it does matter. If it isn't believable the reader will put it down quicker than... well, quicker than I can think of a decent witticism to insert here, but you get the point. The skill people like JK Rowling, Stephen King, and Dan Brown demonstrate, regardless of what you think of them as writers, is their constant ability to suspend your disbelief.



[ot]Decent witticism offered: "The difference between reality and fiction is that fiction has to make sense".[/ot]


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## 0rganic (Jun 25, 2011)

The writing feels a bit choppy...almost forced. Allow yourself to express history in the words you think in your head not the words you want to sound good in your head


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## The Backward OX (Jun 25, 2011)

The kissing scene per se is believable but the story overall is not. You claim this is the way it happened in real life, yet post it in a Fiction forum, so I don't know what to think. 

And what does the word ‘pulled’ mean in a cooking context? It must be an Americanism.


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## 0rganic (Jun 25, 2011)

The Backward OX said:


> And what does the word ‘pulled’ mean in a cooking context? It must be an Americanism.



I agree with your post.

Also, "pulled" means when "meat becomes tender enough that its weakened connective tissue allows  the meat to be "pulled", or easily broken into individual pieces"

Pulled pork: Fileulled pork over rice.jpg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


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## garnerdavis (Jun 26, 2011)

The Backward OX said:


> The kissing scene per se is believable but the story overall is not. You claim this is the way it happened in real life, yet post it in a Fiction forum, so I don't know what to think.
> 
> And what does the word ‘pulled’ mean in a cooking context? It must be an Americanism.



To be precise, I witnessed a woman kiss an iguana on the mouth, only to have the iguana bite her lip and dangle from it, until I could pry him off.  That's the real life part. Everything else is made up (including the parties involved, and the context in which the kissing occurred), as part of my fictional character's daily blog.  Thus, the story is posted in a fiction forum.

Organic responded as to the meaning of "pulled."  Pulled pork and pulled chicken are very tasty American dishes.


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## Syal (Jun 26, 2011)

It's one thing to see a strange woman kiss a lizard, it's another to have Sophia do it when she's already expressed distaste for its presence.  I'm getting the impression that she's got some kind of weird lizard fetish and psychological issues.

If there was some way for her to _accidentally_ end up mouth-to-mouth with Oedipus, I think it would work better.


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## Just Daisy (Jul 2, 2011)

I absolutely _loved _this. My only suggestion would be to add to Sophia's character a little more. Maybe give her some background so that the carving up of an iguana doesn't seem quite so farfetched. Perhaps she spent a couple of summers with the scouts? I can think of a few ways to incorporate something like that and still maintain humour, particularly if you include a sideline story about how you found out she _was _in the scouts.


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## Jane Martin (Aug 23, 2011)

I enjoyed it and the kissing scene is believable.   Sophia's initial reaction to the iguana then her attempts at befriending him were not unconvincing to me considering that my mother has consistently emphasised that she hates their dog but her behaviour clearly contradicts her statements.  I dont think that's overly uncommon.  Part of the comedy came from her initially tentative attempt to befriend him, then beginning to think he's not too bad, to kissing him & getting a shock.  There are plenty of eejits who kiss pets of all species, its common enough not to be questioned in terms of realism.


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## slightblasphemy (Aug 23, 2011)

Creative, nice job


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## JessBradley (Aug 11, 2012)

There are plenty of eejits who kiss pets of all species, its common enough not to be QUOTE]

I kiss my Border collie (bitch of course) at least several times a day- yet never once does she think of me and an eejit.  

Loved the piece garnerdavis, nice to come to the humour section and have something raise a decent smile if not outright laughter. The visualisation came on strong for me until it filled in all the unwritten gaps such as expressions, the yelling, the smile on the lizards face...lol


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## Jane Martin (Aug 23, 2012)

Loved the description of the iguana dangling like a tribal ornament, it made me giggle.


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## Brubster (Aug 29, 2012)

This is hilarious. I love the ornament line -- go oedipus!


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## ScrapNook (Aug 30, 2012)

I love it and yes I laughed (still smiling about it.)  I am a Texan so I know exactly what "pulled" means.  We eat "pulled" something at least once a week.

Maybe one day while watching animal planet or something there is a dog whisperer or something that is dealing with a couple similar to you and your girlfriend and he suggests that the woman show more affection to the dog/cat/whatever and that will help her relationship with the animal and in turn help her relationship with her significant other. Your girlfriend jokingly  caresses the lizard, sorta mocking the couple on TV and bends down to kiss the lizard and he bites her....love love love the dangling part.  

Which makes you wonder...seen something like this on America's Funniest Videos and it always makes me wonder...Why doesn't the person filming the event, put the camera down and offer some assistance?  Instead, you can hear them chuckling behind the camera and the victim screaming for help.


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## Boone (Oct 13, 2012)

I read somewhere that the leading cause of Salmonella (or some disease) was reptile kissing, so I guess it's believable. The pulled pork and the wallet line are funny. I would punch up the phrase "and boy am I pissed." It's pretty banal.


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## anonick (Nov 6, 2012)

I liked the idea of the piece, but there was no build-up to Sophia kissing the lizard, why would she when it's established she hates it? That's the only reason it seems unbelievable I guess.

If you write it much longer and more relaxed, and there needn't be a punchline after every sentence, it would come off as better.


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## Donthebat (Nov 30, 2012)

It's no worse than kissing a frog, except frogs have not got teeth and if you're lucky it may turn into a handsome prince. Perfectly believable...


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## Pluralized (Dec 4, 2012)

Was it believable? Well, yes, though if you're looking for some kind of impact it seems the lizard's chomping of your sweetie's lip should have been more descript. Her reaction at having been bitten in this way would have been the most important piece of focal subject matter, yet the whole bit fades somewhat when her reaction is the implied killing. 

Seems a bite to the lip would cause a more sudden, visceral reaction like jumping up, back hunched over, lizard dangling from face. 

One thing I like to look for in any reading, whether for pleasure or work, is the way it flows. I thought your first few sentences flowed pretty well. Overall, well done!

 -R


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## Ethan (Feb 20, 2013)

garza said:


> The meat can be quite tough and they are more often made into soups or stews. Lengthy simmering would probably be needed before the meat could be pulled to be grilled. If she did all this, then to make me, as a reader, believe it, more information about Sophia needs to be provided.



I have a particularly aggressive Bearded Dragon or as I call it a Pogona Vitticeps_,  and I am having a barbecue next Tuesday. As an expert on cooking and eating reptiles, I was wondering how you would suggest I cook the aforementioned  beast, Should I marinade? Cook live (as Lobster)? Tenderise ?_:deadhorse:_or just deep fry? (We Irish are very prone to deep frying)?_


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## Kay (Feb 24, 2013)

Ha ha ha! I love this!

I agree that Sophia's character could be developed a bit more - perhaps showing more gradually how she started to make friends with with Oedipus, before he bit her.


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## Roscone (Mar 1, 2013)

Brubster said:


> This is hilarious. I love the ornament line -- go oedipus!



He would have made a pretty wallet.


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## WechtleinUns (Mar 4, 2013)

Loved this piece of fiction! It is reminiscent of a monologue, or a stand-up comedian, telling some wild story to an audience in a nightclub on hooker st. The age of the main character seems a bit ambiguous. Although, given the mention of his mother in the story, I suppose he would be in High School, or at least, a recent graduate of Middle School.

Practically speaking, the relationship between Sophia and Oedipus would be made perfectly believable by lengthening the period of adjustment. If Sophia gradually warms up to the Iguana, and soon starts treating it as part of the family, then the kissing scene works perfectly. Also, the fact that she cooked the lizard after the fiasco would become a testament to her character. You could exploit that testament by working in a few details about her past in the opening paragraph.

For example, you said that your "parents" wasted a lot of money on a Greek history degree. Perhaps the narrator could complain about all the Greek "barbecue" classes he'd been forced to attend with his mother. Then a description of what goes on inside such 'classes', becomes an easy way to justify the cooking of Oedipus.

Interestingly, I would say that making believable fiction is a lot like writing good computer code. If you try to access a variable before you declare it, then you get a compiler error. The machine doesn't truly "believe" in your variable, I suppose. In the same way, talking about an action in a piece of fiction won't work, unless you declare the variable first. If the mother is the variable, then you have to set her 'value' to a data type that is congruent with the 'value' of the action.

To give an example, An accountant can't just defuse a bomb one day. But if another character notices that he has an open manual of "Advanced Electrical Wiring and Circuit Building" on his desk, then the variable has been declared. So when you access it by putting the accountant in front of a ticking time bomb, the reader is more prepared to accept that his character(i.e. data type), is congruent with the action(data access).

And I can't believe I just used programming language concepts to illustrate techniques involved in the writing of fiction. Jesuchristo, soy tan necio...


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## lowprofile300 (Mar 14, 2013)

Ethan said:


> I have a particularly aggressive Bearded Dragon or as I call it a Pogona Vitticeps_, and I am having a barbecue next Tuesday. As an expert on cooking and eating reptiles, I was wondering how you would suggest I cook the aforementioned beast, Should I marinade? Cook live (as Lobster)? Tenderise ?_:deadhorse:_or just deep fry? (We Irish are very prone to deep frying)?_



 I am still laughing. Ethan, that was classic


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## whatever (Apr 11, 2013)

Witty and funny, you just need a better way to explore the dynamics between the woman and the iguana so that people won't be surprised that she kissed him.


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## mblank (May 8, 2013)

I enjoyed your story.  It was quite funny and the kiss sounded believable to me.  The language is a little awkward in places.  An exercise that helps me with this is to read my writing out loud.  I recently received a suggestion to tape record it and listen.  I haven't tried it yet, but it's supposed to be even better for revision.  Thanks for the laughs!


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