# Sturggling to Write



## RebelGoddess (Mar 1, 2019)

Hello, everyone!

I wrote my novel (or, the first half of my novel haha) when I was sixteen and "finished" it at 18. Long story short, it was (rightfully) rejected by a publisher. In 2009 I started to rewrite it and made a lot fo quality edits. But I never took it further, despite thinking about it every day. Recently I had the opportunity to work with an agent for a weekend, a time where she looked at my first ten pages and gave feedback. I received very positive feedback and some tips that have vastly improved my writing. But I lost my digital copy of my novel after many moves and only have the original hard copy with some notes. As I'm working to retype it up, I find myself stalling and I can't figure out why. I know I have massive apprehension given my original rejection, but I'm still struggling. As I re-type my novel and change it as I go, I keep getting caught up in the idea that it's just not good enough, despite what the agent said. 

What do you do when your inner voice says "it's not good enough and never will be"? I've tried overcoming it and forcing myself to work (something that worked for sending this agent the first ten pages of my novel), but I'm still struggling. As a side note, I have passive anxiety. How do yuo overcome this? What do you do to shut that stupid voice up and just get down to writing? Thank you!!!

~Rachel


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## Cephus (Mar 2, 2019)

You ignore your inner voice and do it anyhow.  Learning how to turn off your internal editor is essential to writing.


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## Olly Buckle (Mar 2, 2019)

Try setting yourself a routine, so many words, or a set amount of time, each day. Keep it well within the bounds of reasonable and don't go over, if you said two hundred words, stop dead at two hundred words. Routine gets things done, ask the army, and not stretching yourself too much means you stop before it gets too annoying, and hopefully even look forward to getting started again next day.

If you want to do more don't do it on that project, start something else, and set yourself a routine on that as well.


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## Pete_C (Mar 4, 2019)

I tend to work on the basis that if I'm not happy with it, the reader won't be happy with it. Start with Chapter one and don't move on until you get it right. Once you have the voice, tone, pacing and structure where you want it, the rest becomes easier. 

Rewriting over and over again achieves nothing unless you are sure it's the best it can be. I tend for rewrite first chapters around 20-30 times, and once I'm happy the rest needs no more than three drafts at most.


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## Amnesiac (Mar 4, 2019)

Well, first item of business is to get it onto the page so that you can have a digital copy again. Next, save it to an external hard drive, flash drive, or better yet, to Google Docs, so that you will always have it.

Don't get too balled-up with the editing, at this point. Just get it into a document. Editing can come later. Right now, just set yourself a pace that you can type a certain amount each day, according to your own endurance. Don't judge it or edit it, right now. That can come later. Everything can be fixed later, except for a blank page, right?  Good luck!


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## Theglasshouse (Mar 5, 2019)

Misread the post. I suggest you listen to radio shows, look for stories based on real events, poems, movies, paintings, so that you can feel inspired. Why real events? Because sometimes if you don't get good results brainstorming you can research for possible stories worth writing about. There are some internet radio stations in case you have disdain for watching TV. The public domain, fairy tales are fair game as well, and even rewriting some old stories long forgotten.


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## moderan (Mar 6, 2019)

I look at my bills.


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## bazz cargo (Mar 6, 2019)

Hi Reb...

There is a story about a painter who never finished his work, his agent had to wrestle it out of is hands before it was overdone to death. 

No artist or craftsperson ever manages to crit themselves objectively, just write your best and let it stand on its own merits.

Good luck
BC


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## Terry D (Mar 8, 2019)

The truth is, you are probably not good enough... yet. The only way to make progress, and to measure that progress, is to make a daily date with your keyboard and keep it, then to send out what you write and see what happens. If you wait until you are sure your work will sell you will never get anything done. Everyone doubts themselves -- at least anyone who is really serious about the craft.


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## luckyscars (Mar 9, 2019)

RebelGoddess said:


> What do you do when your inner voice says "it's not good enough and never will be"? I've tried overcoming it and forcing myself to work (something that worked for sending this agent the first ten pages of my novel), but I'm still struggling. As a side note, I have passive anxiety. How do yuo overcome this? What do you do to shut that stupid voice up and just get down to writing? Thank you!!!





Terry D said:


> The truth is, you are probably not good enough... yet. The only way to make progress, and to measure that progress, is to make a daily date with your keyboard and keep it, then to send out what you write and see what happens. If you wait until you are sure your work will sell you will never get anything done. Everyone doubts themselves -- at least anyone who is really serious about the craft.



Terry is right on.

Spoiler Alert: That inner voice doesn't shut up.

The trick isn't overcoming self-doubt, but rather sidelining it. Not letting it shame you into not improving.

Somebody online put it this way, and I agree: "Sucking at something is the first step toward being kind of good at something". It's really that simple. 

Nobody is born a good writer. Talent exists but without practice and relentless self-development it's worthless. A talented writer who doesn't put time into practice is NEVER as good as a less-talented writer who does. That's why you don't get too many professional novelists in their teens. The one common thread among all successful writers is they _never give up _. 

It takes time. Sometimes it takes a _lifetime. _But if you are serious about being a writer, a lifetime is worth it.


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## moderan (Mar 9, 2019)

Cephus said:


> You ignore your inner voice and do it anyhow. Learning how to turn off your internal editor is essential to writing.



No, it isn't. This is dumb. 


> ...your internal editor is essential to writing.



This is better. Learn what works for you by persisting. Some folks outline, some folks pants. I edit as I go and rarely do extra drafts. Others edit later. But that inner editor helps you to place those words in proper order, determines how one scene flows into another, etc. 
There's no excuse for struggling to write, in my not-so-humble opinion. This is based on the mistaken idea that inspiration is to take place before the writing, which seems also to be an opinion held by the same people who think that their every word is sacrosanct, untouchable, inviolate. Just start writing. Just sit down and start doing it. If it doesn't happen, find something else to do. If this happens over and over, you're probably not destined to be a writer. It's ok -- you'll probably save yourself a lot of heartache and make better money.


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## Ralph Rotten (Mar 9, 2019)

RebelGoddess said:


> Hello, everyone!
> 
> I wrote my novel (or, the first half of my novel haha) when I was sixteen and "finished" it at 18. Long story short, it was (rightfully) rejected by a publisher. In 2009 I started to rewrite it and made a lot fo quality edits. But I never took it further, despite thinking about it every day. Recently I had the opportunity to work with an agent for a weekend, a time where she looked at my first ten pages and gave feedback. I received very positive feedback and some tips that have vastly improved my writing. But I lost my digital copy of my novel after many moves and only have the original hard copy with some notes. As I'm working to retype it up, I find myself stalling and I can't figure out why. I know I have massive apprehension given my original rejection, but I'm still struggling. As I re-type my novel and change it as I go, I keep getting caught up in the idea that it's just not good enough, despite what the agent said.
> 
> ...





Okay, this is gonna be a little harsh.
I see lots of first-time authors who waste years on that first novel.  They keep tweaking it, and drag it around like a ball & chain, eternally polishing the turd to a dull finish.
But the deal is; your first book is prolly crap.  Until you pen at least 200,000 words, you are still learning, and most of what you write will be substandard to your post-200k self.
So my advice to you is to put that book on a shelf somewhere and move on.  Write something else, and keep writing.
Right now, that first book is more of a liability because it is keeping you from progressing as a writer.  Move on, write better stuff.


You don't have to look very far to find an author who regrets publishing their first book.


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## Ralph Rotten (Mar 9, 2019)

Think of writing as if you were competing in the Olympics.
You would not walk in off the streets and race Micheal Phelps.
You would spend years practicing, and learning, and perfecting your craft.
Writing is no different. You need to do a lot of it to gain the experience needed to craft a book-length story.


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## luckyscars (Mar 9, 2019)

moderan said:


> No, it isn't. This is dumb.
> 
> 
> This is better. Learn what works for you by persisting. Some folks outline, some folks pants. I edit as I go and rarely do extra drafts. Others edit later. But that inner editor helps you to place those words in proper order, determines how one scene flows into another, etc.
> There's no excuse for struggling to write, in my not-so-humble opinion. This is based on the mistaken idea that inspiration is to take place before the writing, which seems also to be an opinion held by the same people who think that their every word is sacrosanct, untouchable, inviolate. Just start writing. Just sit down and start doing it. If it doesn't happen, find something else to do. If this happens over and over, you're probably not destined to be a writer. It's ok -- you'll probably save yourself a lot of heartache and make better money.



I think he/she probably means inner-critic more than editor. If so, I see both sides of that coin.

On the one hand, I do think an internal critic is vital. You can't possibly have high standards if you don't have a voice in your whispering 'this is shit' when what you are writing _is_ shit. Otherwise you get Twilight.

But the word I used is sideline and I mean that literally. The internal voice of self-doubt belongs on the sidelines, like an old school coach there to call you out viciously when you are cutting corners/being lazy/falling into cliches/surfing PornHub/ whatever it is that is holding the writer back. They are there to rattle the cage, to push you in the right direction, to identify what does and does not work. 

But the crucial thing IMO is that coach must be a _coach _and not an armchair cynic. The relationship should be constructive and healthy and, where warranted, _positive_. They should not be on the field, tripping you up and pulling you down. There's plenty of real people around to do that.


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## Ralph Rotten (Mar 10, 2019)

"Otherwise you get Twilight."
LOL


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## RebelGoddess (Mar 12, 2019)

The thing is, an agent recently told me I'm good enough. But that was when I edited my old version. It's so hard to make myself work on my old manuscript. It's hard for me to type up my old stuff because I get so lost in the "this could be so much better" while I'm trying to retype it. But thank you!!! I like the idea of just typing up a couple of pages a day and then going back to work on it. Thank you!!!

~Rachel


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## Olly Buckle (Mar 12, 2019)

What a pain losing the digital copy! It happened to me early on and I now use a little usb stick on my key ring to record on every time I stop work. It also has the advantage one can whip it out and say 'have you got a computer, I'll show you'. They are very cheap if you keep an eye out for a 'sale', and you can get everything you ever wrote on the smallest one, writing takes hardly any space. I had a friend who was an accountant, he used to record the day's work on four of them, one would stay in the office, one would go in his pocket and the other two would be dropped in the letter box on the corner, one to his address, one to his friend's. That seems like taking things a bit far, but that is accountants for you


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## Cephus (Mar 12, 2019)

Olly Buckle said:


> What a pain losing the digital copy! It happened to me early on and I now use a little usb stick on my key ring to record on every time I stop work. It also has the advantage one can whip it out and say 'have you got a computer, I'll show you'. They are very cheap if you keep an eye out for a 'sale', and you can get everything you ever wrote on the smallest one, writing takes hardly any space. I had a friend who was an accountant, he used to record the day's work on four of them, one would stay in the office, one would go in his pocket and the other two would be dropped in the letter box on the corner, one to his address, one to his friend's. That seems like taking things a bit far, but that is accountants for you



You can also just keep copies up on Google Drive and it's always available no matter where you are.


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## gene (Mar 19, 2019)

When I set down to write I have never suffered from writers block. I set down and write it just happens, I have no idea how this works. Having said this, after writing for a couple of hours and I go back to re-read what I have just written, I find some of what I have written to just be there and of no real value to the story line. So I back it all out, leaving the main body and thought there. I then wait, go away for awhile or the next day and re-read again. I can see it all much clearer, because I didn't loose patience and rush the story. I then began to fill in the blanks, with fewer words and better ideas. 

Point is I don't throw out the baby with the bathwater. Step back and take a broader view of your story, allow your mind to work its magic without rushing it all.

And if that doesn't work, throw it all out and start another story, I have five times......lol


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## Joseph Walsh (Mar 19, 2019)

I would try making and taking notes. Make notes of your stories, even write small parts of the story and then add them on later. Take notes of other people's stories that you like that would fit your style. I write non-fiction so this is a bit easier for me to do. I will make notes of factual information and then add them together by a logical connection of pieces. I take notes of people I admire and see what they have done in their writing process by observing their books and imagining how they formulated this book in the first place.

If that does not work then do not force anything, it will come across in your writing; try to let your writing breathe but most importantly do not force anything.


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## moderan (Mar 19, 2019)

Oh gods, by all means force it. Put a figurative finger down your figurative throat or squeeze your figurative cheeks together and figuratively do a squat thrust. Take some figurative laxative. That's exactly what you need to do. Poop that damn story out!
Remember that your words are not semiprecious stones. There will be other words, and you'll love those just as much. Copy is just copy. Write until your figurative fingertips bleed, just to get all of the bad writing out of your system as fast as possible.
Ah GuarONtee that'll help. Don't agonize over an individual story til it's done and you're happily polishing it and dreaming of possible markets. Let the disillusionment set in later, when you're subbing to said markets.


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## Megan Pearson (Apr 4, 2019)

Olly Buckle said:


> I had a friend who was an accountant, he used to record the day's work on four of them, one would stay in the office, one would go in his pocket and the other two would be dropped in the letter box on the corner, one to his address, one to his friend's. That seems like taking things a bit far, but that is accountants for you



Olly, your friend is a wise man! 

Getting back on topic, Rebel, normally I would say to work your way through a piece (maybe not as colorfully put as our friend Moderan here), but working our way through a piece often is the only way to make sure it gets done. 

However, and I'm reading between the lines here, with "several moves" I'm assuming you're several years removed from that story, right? I'm just speculating here, but your anxiety might be from mentally having shelved it and now you want to return to something you shelved as 'finished'? 

Here is a potentially ridiculous idea--and if it is, just disregard it. Instead of taking out the old story and trying to retype the hard copy (and reliving it as you retype it), how about just making it into a new story? If you really like the story (and I'm assuming you do), why not revive it with new purpose? Go through the old manuscript and make note of elements you really liked. What resonates with you? You are in the unique position now to look at it for what it is, not for what you would like it to be or thought it was. It's very likely there's a lot there that you've forgotten about. Those might be the parts you'll now want to skip. Maybe you'll want to change the POV? Or the plot? What happens if... (you get the idea)

Maybe there's something about the story that your inner voice is picking up on that really doesn't work. Have you tried facing that inner voice and finding out if there is any truth to it? If so, then fix it. If not, then shelve the inner voice.

There is no harm done if you take what you learned in that manuscript and apply it to a new story. Finding a story you're passionate about telling will make the next several months (years?) much easier. Plus, you have a lot more miles under your belt today than you did as a teen. Why not give yourself a little credit and put those miles to work for you? 

Be bold. 


Go

Write.


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## JessicaT (Apr 5, 2019)

I'm young and just starting out, but I hope this helps.

I first write out my stories on paper and later copy/type them into Word. When I'm typing them into Word, I copy them as written (except for obvious typos) with these exceptions:

1) Questionable stuff gets changed to red to stand out _again_ later in editing.

2) Anything that I actually decide to go ahead and change (so far it's just adding or altering a word or making a [note]) I type in purple.

The idea, for me, is to simply type them into Word as accurate as possible from the written pages. I even insert page breaks where the written word from a page ends and the word count for that page ("End written page XX - XXX"). It's my personal compromise of "pen and paper" being the best form for my writing (it simply flows better for me) and "keyboard" being the best form for editing, etc. later.

Hope this helps some how!


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## KenTR (Aug 8, 2019)

RebelGoddess said:


> What do you do when your inner voice says "it's not good enough and never will be"? I've tried overcoming it and forcing myself to work (something that worked for sending this agent the first ten pages of my novel), but I'm still struggling. As a side note, I have passive anxiety. How do yuo overcome this? What do you do to shut that stupid voice up and just get down to writing? Thank you!!!



In order to work toward doing something well, you first have to be comfortable with doing it badly. Forgot where I heard this.

I find that the deeper I get into a story, the more engaged I become. So just write. Rip through it. You may come up with a passage you really like, or a stretch of killer dialogue the you _know_ is good. Use that to empower yourself, but don't stop. More good stuff will come. 

Don't write for the people who are critiquing or giving you guidance; write it for yourself. Pretend, maybe, that it's just an exercise and that you have no plans to show it to anyone. That might help with some of the anxiety.


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## Olly Buckle (Aug 10, 2019)

As the op was back in March I do wonder how you are getting on? Did you re-type, or have you got involved in some other project maybe ?


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## RLBeers (Aug 18, 2019)

This is just my OCD taking over. The R and the U in the word struggling in the title are transposed.


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