# Peace of Mine



## Firemajic (Jun 30, 2016)

_A thousand years from yesterday
I stumbled through today
without a hand to hold
no one to show the way

In sorrow I have walked
with fear close behind
searching in desperation
to find this peace of mine

In a world full of chaos
I searched for a quiet place
where at last my soul could heal
and my pain would be erased

In the silence of the mountains
I searched for the face of God
saw in the infinite star filled sky
paths where angels  trod 

Peace was not on the mountain
I am still a hollow shell
angels walk the heavens
but Freaks are lost in hell


_


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## Reichelina (Jun 30, 2016)

Peace of _mine! _
That's very witty. 

But what makes me love this is the fact that I can relate to it, you know. 
Everyone can. 

Thanks for sharing this, Julia.  --kisses and hugs--


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## WriteMind (Jun 30, 2016)

Yes, this is very relatable and eloquent. 

The only thing that I wish was possible was a consistent end rhyme scheme, but it works just fine the way it is.


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## Firemajic (Jun 30, 2016)

Reichelina said:


> Peace of _mine! _
> That's very witty.
> 
> But what makes me love this is the fact that I can relate to it, you know.
> ...



Thank you ! It is a pleasure to read your charming comments... Love you bunches!

WriteMind... thank you for reading, I thought my end rhyme was consistent... hahaa.. I appreciate your insight and comments..


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## WriteMind (Jun 30, 2016)

It was the 4th stanza, third line that was throwing me off on the 
Rhyme scheme.

I'm still learning, so I'm trying not to say too much criticism for fear of being wrong.


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## Firemajic (Jun 30, 2016)

Hummm, well, the second and 4th line of each stanza, the end word rhymes... instead of using rhyming couplets, I felt this rhyme scheme served the message better...


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## Aquarius (Jun 30, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> _. . . but Freaks are lost in hell _



. . . of their own making. :love_heart:


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## PrinzeCharming (Jun 30, 2016)

I absolutely love the flow depicted throughout this piece. The emotions are clear. Finding inner peace is a .. excuse my French, _bitch_. Stay strong. You're almost there. 

The only thing I would suggest is omitting '*me*'. I believe it flows nicer without. What do you think? 



Firemajic said:


> _A thousand years from yesterday
> I stumbled through today
> without a hand to hold
> no one to show me  the way
> ...


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## Firemajic (Jun 30, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> I absolutely love the flow depicted throughout this piece. The emotions are clear. Finding inner peace is a .. excuse my French, _bitch_. Stay strong. You're almost there.
> 
> The only thing I would suggest is omitting '*me*'. I believe it flows nicer without. What do you think?




I agree, and have edited accordingly.. Thank you for your help... I appreciate...


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## Firemajic (Jun 30, 2016)

Aquarius said:


> . . . of their own making. :love_heart:




Not so, Dear Aquarius... I was born into a ready made hell, and it has been my life long quest to find something better... to rise above it... and I say this with ALL due respect and love...


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## Terry D (Jun 30, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> _A thousand years from yesterday
> I stumbled through today
> without a hand to hold
> no one to show the way
> ...



Okay, take this for what you had to pay for it:

The two lines I've put in bold seem at odds with one another. "To find this peace of mine" to me, implies -- since it is possesive -- that you have found peace. The last line, however, suggests (in dramatic fashion) you have not. This dichotomy is a bit confusing for me. Of course that could be your entire point and I'm just too dense to 'get it'.


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## Firemajic (Jun 30, 2016)

Terry D said:


> Okay, take this for what you had to pay for it:
> 
> The two lines I've put in bold seem at odds with one another. "To find this peace of mine" to me, implies -- since it is possesive -- that you have found peace. The last line, however, suggests (in dramatic fashion) you have not. This dichotomy is a bit confusing for me. Of course that could be your entire point and I'm just too dense to 'get it'.




Nooo, you are not dense ... I thought that by saying "struggling to find" implied that I have not found it... but I see your point... I will see what I can do... in a "dramatic fashion", of course..... lmao... love that drama!! Thank you...


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## Sonata (Jun 30, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> ... I was born into a ready made hell, and it has been my life long quest to find something better... to rise above it... and I say this with ALL due respect and love...



You might not have found anything better yet, but you will.  I know you will.  (((hugs)))

I do not think I need say that I loved your poem.  Thank you.


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## CJL4307 (Jun 30, 2016)

A great message and beautiful poem that flows nicely! Also if i may add incredibly brave to be open about your own life and struggles. There is freedom in such openness. 

"In sorrow I have walked
with fear close behind
struggling to find a way
to find this peace of mine"

The only bit that has me slightly hung up just because you have used the word 'find' so closely in these two lines.

Perhaps, struggling on hardened path, to find this peace of mine could remedy this. Of course this is just a suggestion. Beautiful as is!


"Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.  Matthew 7:7


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## ned (Jun 30, 2016)

hello - really liked this poem - with its poignant yet uncomplicated message

read effortlessly, nice job on the rhythm, and the angst in the final line nailed it -
as you have no doubt noticed, I'm not one for flawless rhymes - the feelings and imagery
expressed are far more important to me.

I was hooked by that great opening line onwards...
Ned


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## Nellie (Jun 30, 2016)

Hey Juls, I love this as it is VERY similar to something I wrote years ago, but about Time. The first two lines are what brought me in to this poem. I think the title is enticing, also. Beautiful!


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## Aquarius (Jun 30, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> _
> In sorrow I have walked
> with fear close behind
> struggling to find a way
> to find this peace of mine _



How would you like the following?

'In sorrow I have walked,
with fear not far behind,
looking for a way
to find some peace of mind'

Just an idea, of course. :love_heart:


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## Firemajic (Jul 1, 2016)

CJL4307 said:


> A great message and beautiful poem that flows nicely! Also if i may add incredibly brave to be open about your own life and struggles. There is freedom in such openness.
> 
> "In sorrow I have walked
> with fear close behind
> ...




Thank you CJ, I edited and reworded according to your suggestion, and... thank you for your kind, wise words, I appreciate so much...


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## Firemajic (Jul 1, 2016)

ned, Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, I missed your "nits" though..

Sonata... Thank you for your comments, and for the Hugs...

Nellie, your comments are as fabulous as your poetry.. thank you!

Aquarius... I just wanted to say "Peace of mind" in a different, unexpected way.. Thank you for your suggestion...

Thanks to all who "liked" this poem.. I am grateful...


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## Bard_Daniel (Jul 2, 2016)

This is some really goods stuff, Firemajic. Your talent is shining through here, as always!

Great work!


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## escorial (Jul 2, 2016)

the freak is so much part of you in poetry as in life.....but still you roll on with your work and that is so cool.......


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## Bluuee (Jul 2, 2016)

I love it!
Really great peace, and i could sense the emotions as the poems goes on.
I like the use of "common and simple" words in poems like that

Great job!


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## Firemajic (Jul 3, 2016)

escorial said:


> the freak is so much part of you in poetry as in life.....but still you roll on with your work and that is so cool.......



LOL... Right, there is no way to escape the Freak... Thank you Escorial, for understanding.
Daniel, it is always a pleasure to read your comments, Thank you...
Bluuee, Thank you for reading and commenting, welcome to the fabulous poetry thread...


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## WriteMind (Jul 3, 2016)

I'm loving this place!

Firemajic, keep going with your instincts.

The members here have been very helpful with suggestions.

They have helped me turn my projects in the right direction.

It’s nice to see the evolution of your work with the help of others here.

Keep it up!


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## kaminoshiyo (Jul 3, 2016)

When you find your way out, maybe I'll join you 

Nice poem. Reflective.


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## Firemajic (Jul 3, 2016)

WriteMind said:


> I'm loving this place!
> 
> Firemajic, keep going with your instincts.
> 
> ...




Haha, Yeah, my fellow poets are my mentors, and I am so thankful for them, they helped me find my voice, and WF gave me a safe place to express myself.... Thank you!


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## Firemajic (Jul 3, 2016)

kaminoshiyo said:


> When you find your way out, maybe I'll join you
> 
> Nice poem. Reflective.



Fabulous... Thank you, Kaminoshiyo...


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