# Capturing the Wind



## xiaoman (Dec 3, 2018)

Capturing the Wind


It  goes as swift as a horse of Jedi,
Howling through many a naked tree.
Sweeping snow  away for a thousand miles,
 crazily, but captured by my poetry.


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## ned (Dec 4, 2018)

hello - this is an interesting poem - a mix of original ideas and odd references.
a short poem, so every word counts.

it goes - is not a great start, for a poet - use your imagination - galloping etc, since you have a horse metaphor

howling - is a bang on cliche, which again shows a lack of imagination - I like naked tree - but 'many a' is clunky
put it in the plural, perhaps

Sweeping snow away for a thousand miles - does it? - doesn't wind bring the snow? - get real with it

the final self-reference is cute - but only works if you nail it....so work on that to bring it home

cheers........................Ned


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## xiaoman (Dec 5, 2018)

Thank you Ned! I really appreciate it! 

I will improve it later. Galloping is a good word. I could not think of it ! 

Here is the second bilingual journal by Poetry Hall, I wonder if I could put it here? If not please let me know thanks a lot fit your clicks! Best wishes to you all!


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## Firemajic (Dec 6, 2018)

xiaoman, I always enjoy reading your work.. you have a unique poetic voice... as ned said, this could be improved with some thought and careful word selection, but still, a fun read... I have missed you and your poetry, it is wonderful to hear from you


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## Gumby (Dec 12, 2018)

Some lovely images in this. I think if you cut the first three words, 'it goes as' , so it started with 'swift' would improve that first line. I get what you are saying here and I like the idea.


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## miraj (Dec 16, 2018)

cool lovely images.


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## xiaoman (Dec 22, 2018)

A Parody of Leisure 
After reading Leisure by W.H.Davies


by xiaoman Dec.16,2018


What is this life if, one drives thousands of miles,
Without giving happy and relaxed smiles.


No time  to meet his lover's tender eyes,
And see birds  fly joyfully in the sky.


No time for a gym workout and jog outside,
But fix eyes on the small window day and night.


No time to help his parents shovel snow,
But plays and throws the dice in a casino.


No time to enjoy roses and gentle spring breeze,
But in his room smokes crazily like a chimney.


This will be a poor life that wastes time, 
It should't be led in one's years of prime.


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## Namyh (Jan 7, 2019)

Xiaoman - The wind can whistle, howl and do all those things. I'm very glad you caught it and thanks for sharing some of it here. Namyh


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