# A Dream in Living Color



## Primrose (Jul 26, 2012)

*Removed for the time being*

So I've recently been thinking about this story idea I had and I've decided I'd like to make it a novella to self-publish for an eReader format. I'd like to get my name out there because let's face it, I'm not going to be 22 forever. I'd like some feedback on this segment which will head Part I. Eventually it'll have some elements of romance and I'll probably continue to update this post rather than leave the whole thing to lay out. This is what I have for now.
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REMOVED TO BE USED FOR A CLASS ASSIGNMENT​


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## playingthepianodrunk (Jul 26, 2012)

Some mornings when they wake me, I go to the bathroom and stare at  myself in a mirror and wonder. Whose eyes are these? How curiously empty  they are--and yet... There is a look in them unlike any other. I wonder  sometimes if I’m really looking at my face or the face of someone else.  

 Flowers don’t talk, of course—at least not in a language we can  understand. I think everything has a language of its own; the trees,  walls… I think it all talks sometimes, just not when we’re around to  hear it. They don’t like us to know what they’re talking about. I think  they don't want to offend us.

The truth of the story is that I woke at dusk on an autumn day and  everything was new. It was like being born, I think, but I can’t  remember that either. I woke up with four white walls around me and the  soft light of the sunset pitching through the barred window. I remember  that I almost cried, because it was the prettiest thing I had ever seen.  It drew me from the bed and I watched the color steal across the  horizon until all that remained was blue. And I watched the stars come  alive one by one.

I often find myself in far-off places. Scotland, sometimes Norway or  Sweden. I went to Germany once too. I’ve been on the beaches of  Australia, tomb hunting in Egypt, and exploring in the Amazon. I’ve been  bitten by snakes, I’ve talked intimately with the tigers and played in  the pools of waterfalls with elephants.

The trick is to be so far away from the place where you are that you can’t possibly walk back, not all at once.

I dig it, if only for the sentiment. Some parts were really beautifully written. I think you can really make a nice story out of this. I'd like to read more.


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## Korrie (Jul 26, 2012)

This has a lovely tone to it, and some truly memorable lines. I think my favourite might be:



> It’s a shame they’ll let just about anyone name a person.



Comments on the read... hmm... it has a very dreamy and hallucinatory feel to it, befitting of someone so imaginative. You definitely spark interest. Personally, I'd like to know more about her real world situation and history - though it is early days in the story, so I am just being impatient, perhaps.


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## Primrose (Jul 27, 2012)

Thanks for the response! I'm tweaking it a little, so hopefully I'll have a longer and more edited version to show off by morning.


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## Primrose (Jul 27, 2012)

Edited to add some length.


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## Segrotlo (Jul 28, 2012)

Well done.  It moves enough to keep interest, yet it is also subtle.  Mary has the kindest thoughts of those around her and her of predicament.


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## Primrose (Jul 29, 2012)

Yaaaaay! Thank you so much for the comments, guys. I'm glad this reads at least somewhat successfully. It's hard to imagine how a lobotomized mind would think, but if it sounds good I guess I'm doing something right, yeah?


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## CrimsonAngel223 (May 8, 2015)

wow, nice i like it


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