# Cloud  Illusions



## shadows (Dec 26, 2010)

He acts strange,
  talking dreams and schemes
  floating on cloud illusions
  when not asleep.

  Too often 
  he repeats the same question
  never hearing my answer.

  I’m tired of dancing
  away from his reach
  as he clings child-like
  despite my - _no_

  Something’s lost
  but he doesn’t  see 
  his world spins backwards
  out of time with mine. 

  Yet I can’t leave.


----------



## Sync (Dec 26, 2010)

Hello Shadows

a sad story told well. In a way I thought the last line went too far but without, it feels missing. so well done because the 'can't' can mean anything.

thanks for the read

enjoyed

Sync


----------



## shadows (Dec 26, 2010)

Hi Sync

Thank you very much for reading and your thoughts.  Originally I had it without the last line but as you say, it felt incomplete so I'm glad you felt that too.


----------



## SilverMoon (Dec 26, 2010)

Shadows, not meaning to sound too abstract _or_ concrete, but are you speaking of an aspect of yourself? Sad, indeed, but I think you need to nail down this "character" a bit more. Because I really don't have an idea of who your protagonist is, I'm in a bind. Once I understand a bit more I might be able to make some suggestions.



> Yet I can’t leave


 
I did like the succinct drama/frustration of the ending. Silver


----------



## shadows (Dec 27, 2010)

Hi Silvermoon

No, he isn't an aspect of myself but someone else, who spends his time talking fantasy scenarios (hypotheticals) or sleeping.  He has regressed to child-like behaviour but doesn't see that he is any different than he was.

I will look at how to make him clearer.

Thanks very much for reading and commenting.


----------



## Gumby (Dec 27, 2010)

I love the sad poignant feel this one has, there seems to be a touch of guilt at the end too, which adds another layer.


----------



## shadows (Dec 27, 2010)

Thank you Gumby.


----------



## SilverMoon (Dec 27, 2010)

Shadow, I've gone over and found it a bit more clearer.

And I love the following. One would associate dreaming but we discover he's wide awake in his own reality. _Floating on a cloud's illusions. _A nice twist.

Very good! Silver


----------



## shadows (Dec 27, 2010)

Hi Silvermoon

I'm glad it is clearer now.  I have the same trouble - I read a piece late at night and my brain just doesn't function properly.  Come back to it in the morning after a sleep and it all makes sense.


----------



## caelum (Dec 27, 2010)

I'm going to plagiarize Gumby and also call it poignant.  Very nice, Shadows, love the sombre tone .  I know a few people that this poem reminds me of, people whose minds I can never connect with.
-cae


----------



## shadows (Dec 27, 2010)

thank you Caelum for reading this and for your thoughts.  I wonder if anyone can connect with their minds.  I can't


----------



## Foxryder (Dec 27, 2010)

Hi Shadows,

I absolutely get the whole emotion here. A feeling of want to shake off something, but feeling otherwise. And the drawback? Arrrrrgh! Nice theme, nice wordings.

Fox....


----------



## shadows (Dec 27, 2010)

Thanks very much for the visit to this thread Foxryder.  Arrrgh the drawback about sums it up.


----------



## Chesters Daughter (Dec 28, 2010)

I love this, Shadows, get it completely. I suppose on my days you wear my shoes.


----------



## shadows (Dec 28, 2010)

Thanks very much Lisa - the same size shoes


----------



## apple (Dec 29, 2010)

shadows, this is just another scenario, but I immediatly thought of an elderly person going through the phases of dementia.  They live in the past and in places we could not even begin to understand or enter.  They are child-like and clingy.  I enjoyed the poem, and you relayed the plight beautifully.  Well done.

apple


----------



## shadows (Dec 29, 2010)

Thank you very much apple.  You could well be right in your interpretation.  I don't know for sure.


----------



## Jane Martin (Dec 29, 2010)

A close friend of mine is in the early stages of Alzheimer's & this connected with that in a way no other piece I've ever read has done.  That was my knee-jerk reaction to this.


----------



## shadows (Dec 29, 2010)

Hi Jane

I'm sorry about your friend it must be very hard for you to watch them deteriorate and remember how they once were. 
Thank you for commenting and it you related to my words I'm happy.  It's part of the reason for sharing my poetry.


----------

