# I am flawed and addicted



## Plasticweld (Jan 23, 2016)

* I am flawed and addicted *by Bob Brown

For most of my life, I saw no need for them.  In my late 40s, I think I got addicted to them, in my mid 50s now I can’t get by without them.

It started out with an occasional use, you know… just to kind of help out, make things easier. At first I hid my usage, yes, I was ashamed. I was covering up a flaw, a weakness. It started out like all of the bad things in life, I didn’t buy them myself, but bummed them from a friend. He was quick, to share his little dependency with me. He said all the right things, "A lot of people use them Bob, nothing at all to be ashamed of," and then he added, "You see the commercials on TV all the time, guys use them all the time… especially guys your age." It didn’t make me feel any better.

You can get them without a prescription, but it’s recommended that you see a doctor. I had no intention of seeing a doctor and I figured maybe it wasn’t that bad. Sure, I needed help, but not bad enough to see a doctor. I would work around it, I was after all a big strong guy, and big strong guys don’t have to rely on them to function.

I found some, cheap… low dosage, just enough to help me out. They worked great for a while. I carried them in my pocket, just like the commercial says. "Cause you never know when the moment might arise." As the years passed I found I needed to up the power to get the same results. I used to struggle, but could often fake my way through just about anything, now I found that I couldn’t do anything without them.

With more frequent use, some of the stigma went with it, something to joke about, share with other old guys my age. Sure, I am worried about my dependency, I might even go see one of those doctors someday I check my pockets to make sure I have them with me. I keep spares everywhere and always have a pair within arm’s reach. While I don’t need a little blue pill I do need a pair of number two cheaters to read the latest Viagra ad. I am left with the age old question. Which came first? The glasses or Viagra.


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## Hairball (Jan 26, 2016)

In our house, the glasses did.

In this forum, it's best to steer away from the Viagra, or people will think you're lazy. It all comes down to choices.


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## PrinzeCharming (Jan 27, 2016)

The equivalent for writers is a caffeinated drink.


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## ned (Mar 7, 2016)

the writing is great - flowed well, with no trips.

it is voiced dryly and factualy - without any humour until the final payoff.
but the punchline didn't really clinch for me - although the concept is clever.

maybe, a bit of humour in the telling would lift this piece, and be less reliant on the finale.

cheers
Ned


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## loulou59loujodry (Mar 11, 2016)

Not sure I understood what you were doing with the first few sentences?  Is the lack of punctuation intentional?  Are you making the point that you need reading glasses and did not have them on?  

When you say "For most of my life I have I saw no need for them" I think you need to delete "I have" 

Granted, I am "slow" sometimes and don't get the joke--so disregard my comments if I just didn't "get it"

Hope this is helpful,  loulou59


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## escorial (Mar 11, 2016)

enjoyed that..cool


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## Plasticweld (Mar 11, 2016)

ned said:


> the writing is great - flowed well, with no trips.
> 
> it is voiced dryly and factualy - without any humour until the final payoff.
> but the punchline didn't really clinch for me - although the concept is clever.
> ...



Ned, thanks for the kind words and the advice,  I agree with you about adding more humor along the way so it all does not rely on the punch line at the end.    This was written in a fit of disappointment with myself as a writer.  I had not written anything in awhile that was fun, and decided just to get something on paper to sort of cleanse my soul.    


Thanks for taking the time to read and comment....Bob


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## Reichelina (Mar 20, 2016)

I LOL'ed.  

So guys will need them eventually huh?
LOL.


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## beatrice-cenci (Mar 23, 2016)

I really enjoyed that! I was drawn in from the beginning and I found myself trying to guess what drug he was addicted to. I was sure it was going to be cocaine lol . You write really well too, flowed nicely. 

Keep it up!


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## Plasticweld (Mar 23, 2016)

Thanks Beatrice and welcome to the forum.


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## sigmadog (Mar 25, 2016)

I liked it and agree with Ned that it would benefit from some added punchlines along the way. In stand-up, I think the goal is a laugh line every 10 seconds or so and I think in writing we should try for something similar.

Your post also reminds me of a joke I wrote (when I was flirting with stand-up comedy):

"I know I'm watching the right channel for my age group when the ads are all for Viagra and adult diapers. I like to use Viagra and Diapers at the same time, because at my age I still want to have sex, I'm just not sure how it will end."

Never got much of a laugh with it, because comedy club audiences are too young. They think "prostate" is an ice cream topping.


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## nathan sturley (May 4, 2016)

I enjoyed this greatly. The only critique I would add is you should not have named viagra. You could possibly have let the reader guess as it became more and more clear. That way the reader comes to their own conclusion which always imbues them with laughter as they reached the punchline by themselves and that recognition done on their own rewards them with pleasure. I think though it was wonderful to read.


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## SenileBeagle (May 15, 2016)

I loved this, Bob!  But what I'd really like to know is...did the pills hop you up like the Energizer Bunny? 


 Did you keep Going and Going and Going?   :witless:


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## Plasticweld (Jun 6, 2016)

SenileBeagle said:


> I loved this, Bob!  But what I'd really like to know is...did the pills hop you up like the Energizer Bunny?
> 
> 
> Did you keep Going and Going and Going?   :witless:




In all honesty you would have to ask my wife....We all know guys lie about stuff like this all the time :}


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## MichelD (Jul 5, 2016)

That was really funny.


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## DATo (Aug 21, 2016)

A fun way to start the day - reading your story, that is. *LOL*


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## AdventureSeeker (Sep 21, 2016)

I like your honesty in how those in this situation would feel. What most don't understand when trying a new drug is that they usually like the way it feels so much that it becomes a "need". Good job, I am eager to read more of your work.


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