# Men: Would you feel jealous/threatened



## mbear (Jan 4, 2019)

Setting up scene: You and your girlfriend are sitting on a dock. Her childhood friend (male) was there. Girlfriend kind of made a jerk comment to the childhood friend about his girlfriend friend because she declined an invite to something and your girlfriend said she probably didn’t want to mess up her hair. The childhood friend then picks up your girlfriend, takes her to the top area of the dock and jumps in with her into the water, the entire time saying things about how glad he is that she doesn’t mind messing up her hair. Your girlfriend is ticked the entire time afterwards about it. 

In this situation, do you feel like this is starting to boarderline on flirting, and would make you suspicious of him, or would you figure they have kind of a brother/sister type thing going on and the childhood friend just likes to annoy her?


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## Sam (Jan 4, 2019)

Too many 'friends' and thus I have no idea to whom the 'him' refers. 

The answer to your question will be found in the manner in which you've characterised said 'him'. You should have, as a base, at least the workings of a character bio. Who the person is, what they like, what they're good at, etcetera. From that, you will be able to ascertain if the character in question would show any form of jealously towards the situation you've proffered above.


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 4, 2019)

For me it would depend on body language mainly, his and hers, so write that in in the way you want it to go, open, innocent fun, or something a bit more, you tell us.


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## mbear (Jan 4, 2019)

Sam said:


> Too many 'friends' and thus I have no idea to whom the 'him' refers.
> 
> The answer to your question will be found in the manner in which you've characterised said 'him'. You should have, as a base, at least the workings of a character bio. Who the person is, what they like, what they're good at, etcetera. From that, you will be able to ascertain if the character in question would show any form of jealously towards the situation you've proffered above.






So sorry!!! I asked my question quickly and while being interrupted several times by my offspring. I want to write this segment tonight, so I wanted to get answers quickly. Therefore, I did not double check my post before submitting. I am a fairly non-jealous person in life. So, I want this to seem platonic and good natured, but then I thought that men may not care for another man to pick up their girlfriend, even if they are just friends. It may not even be gender specific, my normal meter is a little off with jealousy issues, and I have had people surprised that neither myself or husband care in certain situations. You made a wonderful point about developing his character more and figuring out if it would fit his character to be jealous or feel the childhood male friend was overstepping.


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## mbear (Jan 4, 2019)

Thanks for the insight! Good point to add the details of the body language to clue him in on if it’s platonic or not.


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## Cran (Jan 5, 2019)

I'd be wondering if I really want a girlfriend who makes "jerk" comments to her friends. 

The only other thing I'd want to know is the safety and climate situation - in some parts of Oz, jumping off a jetty (or dock) can get you killed (eg, salty crocs, blue-ringed octopi, kiramanji jellyfish, etc). And in some parts of the world, jumping into water in winter could mean thumping onto ice, or just freezing to death.


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## mbear (Jan 5, 2019)

Cran said:


> I'd be wondering if I really want a girlfriend who makes "jerk" comments to her friends.
> 
> The only other thing I'd want to know is the safety and climate situation - in some parts of Oz, jumping off a jetty (or dock) can get you killed (eg, salty crocs, blue-ringed octopi, kiramanji jellyfish, etc). And in some parts of the world, jumping into water in winter could mean thumping onto ice, or just freezing to death.





She is not normally a jerk. She is actually quite the opposite. This is very out of character. The place they are at brings out a lot of unresolved feelings that she has been running from for years due to a tragedy. She is only back for her parents’ anniversary because her mother is the master at mom guilt. Her childhood friend was also caught up in the tragedy and has been running life due to it. The girlfriend of the childhood friend is an obvious poor choice and instead of being a mature adult about it, the MC has regressed to how their relationship was during their teenage years and in some ways, the childhood friend has too. 

This takes place during the start of summer so the lake will be safe as far as temperature, but a little cold. And it takes place in a location where it’s completely safe to swim.


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## bdcharles (Jan 6, 2019)

The younger me would have felt very threatened by this display of closeness, like it was something I couldn’t achieve. Present day me wouldn’t feel jealous or threatened at all. But if you’re asking how to write this, it would probably be the sort of event that would lead to some tension.


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## Guard Dog (Jan 11, 2019)

I'd intercept the 'friend' before he got far with her, and remind him that if he keeps his hands to himself that I will as well.

...then I'd probably throw _him_ in the water, as a 'graphic demonstration' of why he needs to mind his manners, thereby ensuring that I do as well.

Anything after that would be determined by the girlfriend or her friend, with a reminder to them both that I'm not _required_ to have to deal with either of 'em.


But then, I've learned to deal with things immediately, and not wait 'til they're a bigger problem later on.

...and also that it's no fun going home with an 'angry wet hen'.

Edit: I'm offering this as a 'real world' perspective that doesn't have so much to do with jealousy as it does with seeing potential problems later, and stopping or diverting them before they get worse.

How it all played out would depend on the other two individuals, and would be quite informative concerning my own place with them. Possibly even showing me that I needed to put them both behind me and seek 'greener pastures'. 

G.D.


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## Pallandozi (Sep 6, 2020)

mbear said:


> Setting up scene: You and your girlfriend are sitting on a dock. Her childhood friend (male) was there. Girlfriend kind of made a jerk comment to the childhood friend about his girlfriend friend because she declined an invite to something and your girlfriend said she probably didn’t want to mess up her hair. The childhood friend then picks up your girlfriend, takes her to the top area of the dock and jumps in with her into the water, the entire time saying things about how glad he is that she doesn’t mind messing up her hair. Your girlfriend is ticked the entire time afterwards about it.
> 
> In this situation, do you feel like this is starting to boarderline on flirting, and would make you suspicious of him, or would you figure they have kind of a brother/sister type thing going on and the childhood friend just likes to annoy her?



Gender is irrelevant here.    If someone is doing something physical to a friend of mine, and my friend makes it clear that they do not consent to that treatment, then I have a problem with that.


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## Amnesiac (Sep 8, 2020)

I don't know if I'd feel threatened, per se. Body language plays a big part. Also, why the hell is the guy-friend even _there_, in the first place? I also don't think that men and women can be close friends without someone having inappropriate thoughts/feelings. That could just be me, though...


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 9, 2020)

Amnesiac said:


> I don't know if I'd feel threatened, per se. Body language plays a big part. Also, why the hell is the guy-friend even _there_, in the first place? I also don't think that men and women can be close friends without someone having inappropriate thoughts/feelings. That could just be me, though...



I don't know if it is just you, but I don't believe it's everyone. Do you confine your female friends to those you find physically attractive, or do you have weird and inappropriate thoughts ?  
I suppose I can't speak for what my friends are thinking, but I am ancient and skinny, I can't really imagine their thoughts are lascivious.


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## Joker (Sep 9, 2020)

Amnesiac said:


> I don't know if I'd feel threatened, per se. Body language plays a big part. Also, why the hell is the guy-friend even _there_, in the first place? I also don't think that men and women can be close friends without someone having inappropriate thoughts/feelings. That could just be me, though...



Oh, so do I want my lesbian friend or does she want me?

:-s


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## Lee Messer (Sep 10, 2020)

bdcharles said:


> The younger me would have felt very threatened by this display of closeness, like it was something I couldn’t achieve. Present day me wouldn’t feel jealous or threatened at all. But if you’re asking how to write this, it would probably be the sort of event that would lead to some tension.



Yep, I see a conflict. Most likely would cause an issue.

Only situation I can see it as "ok", is an "open relationship" so to speak.

Had many a girlfriend ask me the question of why I don't cheat on them. Apparently it's some sort of pandemic among men by the various accounts I have had the displeasure of hearing about.
My response is the same even though I did actually cheat one time, and that was to end a relationship of being cheated on twice in my marriage with contiguous supposed friends.
I guess I could add to this for that very reason.
Why have I never cheated on a girlfriend unless they said it was "ok" (that meaning an "open relationship")?

I am homophobic even by proxy. What I mean is, I am not gay. There, I said it. I'm sorry if your offended, but I reserve my right to my body. done.
Now, why do I never have sex outside of my relationship? Many reasons. My order of reasons are first functional, then psychological, and lastly emotional.
I'm a pretty good candidate for civility in terms of love and passion I suppose, but the subject of territory may make me look somewhat feral in terms of jealousy.

1. The worry of getting caught is too stressful, and dampens my desire (Can't function when worried).
2. I am somewhat a germaphobe when it comes to gametes. I don't like undesirable men's gametes on my skin or in my mouth (See "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective").
3. I love my partner as much as I love my childer, and would not want to hurt them.

As honest as I can get unless I missed a point.

Yeah. I see a problem. It's an unpleasant situation for me because of tenet number two. I'm not sure how I would react without reaffirming information to the opposite assumption. I would likely respectfully disengage the relationship if not for receiving a sperm donor to my diet, but to avoid HIV. Just saying. I don't like to mix my food.


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## MikeDwight (Sep 10, 2020)

I haven't had a single friend in my life. I haven't chosen a friend or expressed myself in my life. I don't have any gender of any friend for a second in my life. I get setup for all your overly human scenarios while I promote to my parents work that gets done and who did it with me to hear total blazing fire for no reason about gender and any of it. Death and Taxes.


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## MistWolf (Dec 5, 2020)

My first reaction is "Keep your hands off her." Not out of jealousy, but out of concern for her personal safety, especially if the guy is a stranger to me and/or she's not comfortable around him. If we're all friends and this is obviously normal, friendly horseplay, that's a little different.

As far as jealousy goes, that depends on our private conversation after the event. I have also been around long enough to know I can't make anyone stay with me. If anyone doesn't want to be around me anymore, there's nothing I can do to keep them from leaving. Also, if I don't like their behavior, I have to either accept it, or stop being around that person. That said, my reaction can be colored by stress, anger, unresolved issues, or any other negative emotions and I might react poorly.

What I would do is ask myself what kind of person the current boyfriend is, what is emotional state is what is in character and what is needed from the scene to drive the story forward.


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## Matchu (Dec 5, 2020)

On first perusal - two people jumping off a jetty together - is the most romantic of activities.  Because of the universality, the common, shared experience, or cliche, it has potential as a comedic scene: first rotation our character sees all this 'Remember how it feels, Honey?  I'm king of the world, Honey.'  Second rotation - dry actor picks up the interloper and throws him in [to sharks], or any variations thereof...


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## indianroads (Dec 5, 2020)

A lot depends on history with regards to how I would feel. Has there been inappropriate flirting in the past? Were they once boyfriend & girlfriend?

My alarms would definitely go off, but how I would react would depend on the circumstances.


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## Matchu (Dec 15, 2020)

SHOWDOWN with @Lee

SC1 Waterside.  LEE & HOT CHICK 1 (of 7) SEATED.  SUNSET.  FREDO approaches with wiggle.

FREDO: Well hello guys.  Give me a kiss you big hunk of sexy man meat. 

SPITTLE OOZES DOWN THROAT OF LEE (close up)

SCENE 2

@LEE THROWS SELF FROM PONTOON

END


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