# Truthblind



## McJibbles (Jul 18, 2015)

Smiling faces
 And bright eyes
still leave space
for cruel lies

 A Haloed head
And kind words
Hide dark deeds
Truth unheard    

The deceiver do not blame
but believers of good names.


----------



## Mesafalcon (Jul 18, 2015)

Short, ryhmes. 

Good, i like. 

7/10

Have a good one


----------



## Firemajic (Jul 18, 2015)

McJibbles said:


> Smiling faces
> And bright eyes
> still leave space
> for cruel lies
> ...





Mcjibbles... I love the message.. but for me, your last 2 lines, is the real truth, one that most do NOT want to acknowledge... sometimes we have only ourselves to blame.. Rock on, McJibbles... Thanks for a cool read... Peace..


----------



## Patrick (Jul 18, 2015)

The first two stanzas form a good start, but the final couplet is flawed grammatically. "The deceiver do not", and "but believers of good names"? My advice is to put this part of the poem back in the lab.


----------



## jenthepen (Jul 18, 2015)

Good poem, McJibbles. The final couplet is confusing, as Patrick pointed out. I understand the meaning and I think it is an important message that deserves to be clarified if you can. Maybe it would help if _Deceiver_ was capitalized and 'good names' put into inverted commas but a complete rewording without losing the message would be the best option if you can find a way.

I think this one is worth some effort so I hope you work on it and I'd love to see what you come up with.

jen


----------



## escorial (Jul 18, 2015)

i think the first stanza is a hoot....the rest fits in well to....


----------



## Darkkin (Jul 18, 2015)

Oddly enough I think, I get the gist of the final couplet.  The message is clean, tight, rhymed and just faintly cryptic, but that is why I like that final couplet, it makes you pause and think for a moment.  Did I just read what I thought I read?

Overall, nicely done.


----------



## McJibbles (Jul 18, 2015)

Woot! Killed it! Do I get a raise?


----------



## Darkkin (Jul 18, 2015)

McJibbles said:


> Woot! Killed it! Do I get a raise?




Grease the right palms and be kind to Turtles and we'll see.


----------

