# Prison Life



## Philip Smith (Feb 2, 2012)

*For those of you who don't know I guess now's as good a time as any to tell you I was just recently released from a Maximum Security Prison in the state of Texas. I spent 10 years of my life for a crime I did commit. I'm in the minority as far as inmates are concerned. I admit my guilt. In doing so I also acknowledge the pain I put my love ones through. Meaning no Daddy, no brother, In order to get my life back on track I must forgive myself and in there lies my biggest problem. I have yet to accomplish that. I'm my own worse enemy, and I know it. For me to succeed I must empty my soul and heart, my emotions and thoughts, my loves and hates. I hope you follow my rantings and I please ask you to comment on any of it (including my spelling and grammar mistakes) Along the way i'm also getting to know myself and what's scary is there are things I don't like, but can improve. Thank you for entering my life as I entry yours.*


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 2, 2012)

Hello Phillip, welcome to the outside, it must be a bit scary and insecure after ten years maximum security, I don't know how much Texas prepares you for release, but somehow i don't see them spending lots on it. Anyway, a few small points on the writing.

For those of you who don't know I guess now's as good a time as any to tell you I was *just*Try reading it without this word, sometimes it adds something (The sentence was just  ) usually not recently released from a Maximum Security Prison in the state of Texas. I spent 10 years of my life for a crime I did commit (Committed?. I'm in the minority as far as inmates are concerned. I admit my guilt. In doing so I also acknowledge the pain I put my love ones through. Meaning no Daddy, no brother, period, not comma In order to get my life back on track I must forgive myself and in there lies my biggest problem. I have yet to accomplish that. I'm my own worse worst enemy, and I know it. For me to succeed I must empty my soul and heart, my emotions and thoughts, my loves and hates. I hope you follow my rantings and I please ask you to comment on any of it (including my spelling and grammar mistakes) Along the way icapital'm also getting to know myself and what's scary is there are things I don't like, but can improve. Thank you for entering my life as I entry enter yours.

I am not sure about the logic of this "I must empty my soul and heart, my emotions and thoughts, my loves and hates." These are what differentiate a man from a machine. My feeling is that to move forward you may have to learn to accept them, and accept your past, then you can create a future they do not dominate, but which is based in reality. Good luck with that. People with a future vision and determination can cope with the most amazing obstacles though.


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## Rustgold (Feb 2, 2012)

I believe 'commit' is the correct word Olly.


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## The Backward OX (Feb 2, 2012)

The people one loves are their love*d *ones, with a *d.*


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## The Backward OX (Feb 2, 2012)

Rustgold said:


> I believe 'commit' is the correct word Olly.



I believe Olly's replacing two words with one.


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## Rustgold (Feb 2, 2012)

The Backward OX said:


> I believe Olly's replacing two words with one.



So he was 
I do have to say though, I still believe 'did commit' is the correct term to use.  I know the saying 'one word is better than two'; however in this instance, 'did commit' flows better for me than 'committed'.



> Meaning no Daddy



I get the cringe worthy image of Prince Charles tongue tying over the word ‘mummy’ in an effort to be cute (or something).  Just plain Dad sounds much better.



> I have yet to accomplish that


I'm yet to accomplish this.


@philip : I'm sure you'll see a massive reduction in these grammar imperfections once the cobwebs get blown off.  And feel welcome to tear apart any pieces I put on here should I ever be brave enough to do so.


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## garza (Feb 2, 2012)

To say 'a crime I committed' is a simple statement of fact. To say 'a crime I did commit' makes the statement emphatic. In this instance going for the lower word count, normally good, causes a loss in meaning.

Welcome to WF Philip. Forgive our haggling over nits.


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## Cran (Feb 2, 2012)

garza said:


> To say 'a crime I committed' is a simple statement of fact. To say 'a crime I did commit' makes the statement emphatic. In this instance going for the lower word count, normally good, causes a loss in meaning.


Agreed.


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## Kevin (Feb 2, 2012)

Rustgold said:


> So he was
> .
> 
> 
> ...



That _is_ how people talk in much of the southern states. It's not trying to sound like anything, but authentic.


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## Philip Smith (Feb 2, 2012)

Thanks Mr. Buckle. I'll get better at all this. I really appreciate your words and help.


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## Philip Smith (Feb 2, 2012)

Thank you all. For the first time since re-entering your "world" (again) I feel like a belong. I also want to thank you all for commenting on my story. I take all comments as good comments.


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## Divus (Feb 3, 2012)

Philip - this forum is a club made up of  English speaking people from all over the world  who enjoy writing.   
The response you have had illustrates the point.  You are very welcome to join.
'Mr' Olly is known to everyone as 'Olly'.    You will make him fall off his perch if you refer to him as Mr.

We can edit your work, but it is difficult for us to teach you English grammar and punctuation.  If I were writing on a horse forum I
would suggest you found a teacher.  You certainly need a text book which teaches grammar.   In England there are adult education classes
in which you can learn as an adult what you should have learned as a youngster.   Look where you live in Texas  for an adult education class. 
Or, if classes are not readily available to you, seek out a retired school teacher or the like, who might agree to help you.  Pensioners, and I am one, need something to do in their old age.

My fear is that we can correct a short piece of prose but the criticism will sooner or later wear you down and you might become depressed and that is not what you need.      

Secondly, make a list of what of the events you want to write about.  Put the subjects in some form of order.     For example start  describing yourself, your upbringing, your family then move on to your crime, your arrest etc etc - create a logical progression.

When writing you must have in mind an audience or maybe even a message.  Your stories should follow the tone of that message.  Already I see 'repentance' in what you have written so far.     Lots of people warm to a repentant sinner.

I suggest you buy a copy of The Shawshank Redemption.  Read it several times and then take it apart and study how the story develops.  You will also benefit from a copy of The Collins Concise Dictionary - the big thick one.

Writing is one of those skills which improves with practice.  So write at least a 1000 words every day and make it part of your daily routine.  Write the first version in draft, then hours later read what you have written back to yourself.   Do the words run smoothly?
Always spell check your work.      Correcting the grammar is more difficult and that is the area for which you need a friend.
Finally save a fair copy in the computor for compilation.

There is a certain pathos, an angst, a regret, in your writing which tempts me to read your work.    I have read the short articles which you have posted on the Forum but be aware that you have to write at least 40,000 words to claim to have written a book.      However to attract a reader to your work, you will have to improve your understanding of grammar.

Philip, to achieve your objective you have a long walk in front of you but a man who has spent a decade in prison should be able to cope.
I, and many others here, wish you luck.

Dv


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 3, 2012)

Some ways I can agree with what Divus says others I would qualify, For a start off you should always address me as 'Mr.' , except when using 'Sir' 

Seriously, grammar is the study of what exists, not a set of made up rules that are 'right'. When someone speaks 'ungrammatically' they are using a different form of it from the formally accepted one, but it is not 'wrong' if their peers understand what they mean by it. On the other hand speech is transient, writing stays there to be looked over, so people tend to be much more critical of grammar that does not conform to the norms. The problem with that is that it tends to make a break in their reading, disturbs the flow, and stops them getting the idea you are trying to put across. Reading a book of grammar may not be the easiest way to absorb the conventionalrules, reading well written books you enjoy is probably easier.


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## Philip Smith (Feb 3, 2012)

Thanks Oily, you are correct. I take all comments with a grain of salt. After 10 years inside I've grew pretty thick skin. I've also realized comments from different parts of the world vary to that part of the world. Meaning certain things are accepted here but not across the the pond and vise versa. But again I thank you all.


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 4, 2012)

If you are interested, however, I would recomend "Rediscover Grammar" by David Crystal ISBN. 0-582-84862-8. He includes sections on the way language is used in speech, national variations, and the 'leet speak' of electronic communication as well as the traditional 'recieved' English, and manages to keep it all in easily understood, bite sized, chunks, with a bit of fun a thrown in.


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## The Backward OX (Feb 4, 2012)

I wonder if it covers the 'i before e' rule? :twisted:


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## bazz cargo (Feb 5, 2012)

> I wonder if it covers the 'i before e' rule?


Is that the one measured by thumb?


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## Winston (Feb 14, 2012)

If you ever think that a perspective from "the other side" might be helpful: My wife, two sisters-in-law and I have all worked in corrections.

Take care of yourself.  Give a s4it, and watch who you hang with.  Good luck and stay strong.


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## Philip Smith (Feb 14, 2012)

There's good and bad in every color. In Texas you would have wore grey. We wore white. I had a lot of friends who wore grey. Thanks


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## iykewifey (Mar 20, 2012)

Olly Buckle said:


> If you are interested, however, I would recomend "Rediscover Grammar" by David Crystal ISBN. 0-582-84862-8. He includes sections on the way language is used in speech, national variations, and the 'leet speak' of electronic communication as well as the traditional 'recieved' English, and manages to keep it all in easily understood, bite sized, chunks, with a bit of fun a thrown in.


I will love to read this book, i need to improve in my grammar, being in portugues speaking country for a decade.

thank you Olly.


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## jakebarrington (Apr 17, 2012)

Very powerful, I assume it's true as it is put in the "non-fiction" section.


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## Lilly Davidson (Apr 20, 2012)

Hi Phillip 

What was your crime? I need to know that before I can get to know you. It obviously was something very bad. Your honesty is refreshing and a great start to beginning anew. 

Are you going to write your life story? You will have some terrific material compared to most of us I would think.


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## Industrial (Apr 20, 2012)

Yooooo!

I hate the prison systems because they make you feel like tainted goods. I don't care if you killed ten people! It still doesn't give them the right to judge your life, lock you up, and label you. 

They are going to take you away from your family and try to play you off as an evil person. They are the same ones that created a hell for you and your family. So in reality they are the same as the people they lock up. The only difference is that they lie about it. 

So who are the real monsters?

 I say that because I know there are people locked up that are good; just like there are corrupt prosecutors. Shit I read in the papers the other day that thousands of court cases needed to be reviewed because of sloppy DNA evidence, and the whole time the prosecutors knew all about it!!! See its their job to win their cases, some of them are damm good at it, and the whole time they could give a fuck about the lives they ruin.

 THE LAW IS BLIND!

 For all you non believers out there realize that some people never had a chance and they never will. These are people just like you and me. They dealt you a shitty hand and I call it destiny because they have to lock up someone. How else are they going to scare the masses into doing what they want?

Remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. If anything now you have a cause. Something to fight for. You were wronged by the system and I believe you. Now get em'!


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## Lilly Davidson (Apr 20, 2012)

Well I see what you are saying but we have to have a strong legal system even if it is not perfect. Otherwise how can the majority of normal peaceful citizens be protected? We all have a right to a peaceful free life, nobody has a right to taint that for anyone else.

 Phillip is saying he was guilty. He paid for his crime. I would like to know what he did because yes, that does make a difference to me. Certain crimes are not forgiveable. This will eventually between him and God, the ultimate judge is his conscience. 

That said, I think stories about being in prison are very interesting and if well written, likely to sell well.


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## Industrial (Apr 20, 2012)

If he already paid for his crime by serving a ten year sentence why does he have to wear the label of felon for the rest of his life which is going to have a undeniable effect on his chances of becoming a peaceful law abiding citizen?


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## Lilly Davidson (Apr 21, 2012)

Hey Industrial, 
that's a difficult question. 

Here I think the important thing is really how we write about our experiences and what we hope to achieve.


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## Industrial (Apr 21, 2012)

Lilly Davidson said:


> Hey Industrial,
> that's a difficult question.
> 
> Here I think the important thing is really how we write about our experiences and what we hope to achieve.



That's what I'm aiming for. Consider it food for thought to anyone that wants to write about prison life.


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## Lilly Davidson (Apr 21, 2012)

Well I loved 'Prison Break'!  I also remember reading 'Papillon' years ago, riveting stuff. 

Actually prison experiences are a very interesting area, I think if well written such writing is very saleable. Drama and books about law and the penal systems are something very very worth doing.


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## AustinReis (Apr 30, 2012)

We went and toured a Prison once. They brought out 5 inmates. Minorities such as yourself. They were very honest to us about what they did. Such as drugs and Accidental Manslaughter. One guy, Billy, had been there for over 50 years. He was beaten as a child, which led to him befriending Heroin addicts. My heart went out to them, mostly all of them broke down into tears. But the question " What are you most afraid of now?" was asked. And every single one of them replied that Leaving was. They were so used to routine, and knowing everyone around them. That the thought of strangers scared them. My heart went out to them and you. All that should be done from now is improve. You are out now, live life to the fullest. Facing the dark side is one of the hardest things to do. But I know you can do it.


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## Lilly Davidson (May 1, 2012)

Phillip, 

I think AustinReis's posting is a very humane one. I hope Phillip that you will come on and discuss your hopes for the future and your writing - I hope I did not upset you with my initial remarks. Upon reflection, it is not important that you say what you did. The important thing is to move on now and be the best you can. How are you getting on with your writing?


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