# they come screaming



## musichal (Jun 24, 2015)

deleted, see blog​


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## LeeC (Jun 24, 2015)

Put me in mind of being a critter trying to cross a freeway, one that got a measure of natural redress ;-)

No critique because I couldn't poet my way out of a wet paper bag.


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## Mesafalcon (Jun 24, 2015)

LeeC said:


> No critique because I couldn't poet my way out of a wet paper bag.



I think you could. If you can write stories, you can write poetry on some level, right?

Another nice one, hal, like the format on this too, I should try that one day!


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## Sonata (Jun 25, 2015)

There is not much I can say except that as in nearly all your poems Hal, I can "see" what your words say.


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## Firemajic (Jun 25, 2015)

:nevreness: Sounds like 5 o'clock rush hour.... good stuff Musichal! love your style... Peace always...


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## LeeC (Jun 25, 2015)

P.S.


So adaptable to a multitude of situational interpretations, a measure to me of good poetry (like Frost's "An Old Man's Winter Night").


This morning, trying to get out a little with the dog, crossing the road in my wheelchair your poem came to mind. All the overly endowed youth (no worse than I was but with more materially and less demands on their time), unaware that getting wherever they're going is a primary consideration, "strutting their style" with eyes glazed over and log-thumping music blaring. 


Did I ever tell you about having to ride fourteen miles on horseback through blinding blizzards to a one room schoolhouse


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## Kevin (Jun 25, 2015)

> couldn't poet my way out of a wet paper bag.


^^^and yet there you have it: _Poetry_♫.  :angel:

I saw a single line of cars, speeding, lights on (night) some (driver implied), impaired(drunk implied), *so close they scare- *the 'reporter' bravely or foolishly too close to the action. Enjoyed. Thank you.


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## Gumby (Jun 25, 2015)

LeeC said:


> > This morning, trying to get out a little with the dog, crossing the road in my wheelchair your poem came to mind. All the overly endowed youth (no worse than I was but with more materially and less demands on their time), unaware that getting wherever they're going is a primary consideration, "strutting their style" with eyes glazed over and log-thumping music blaring.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## Nellie (Jun 25, 2015)

As the last line says, "they crash", then I would say this is about rush-hour traffic. There is always gonna be those who think they can speed right by you, read while driving, text while driving, weave in-and-out of traffic, etc. There is always a wreck in rush-hour.

Great poem, musichal!


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## McJibbles (Jul 8, 2015)

I really like the style of this one. Makes you want to read it aloud in an ominous voice, then shout as you arrive at crashing. Perfectly built up. 

What inspired you?


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## musichal (Jul 8, 2015)

McJibbles said:


> I really like the style of this one. Makes you want to read it aloud in an ominous voice, then shout as you arrive at crashing. Perfectly built up.
> 
> What inspired you?



Actually, a blank screen.

Well, and the idea that short verses ending "ing" every 4th verse would create a driving effect.


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## Darkkin (Jul 8, 2015)

I think I watched too many nature shows as a kid because the first images that popped into my head were stampeding herds across the Serengeti.  Zebra, wildebeest, antelope, lions, wild dogs, the whole nine yards.  The one word that really made me pause was pipes.  Pipes in a stampede, how could there be pipes in a stampede...tail pipe, and wham!  Stuck in traffic.  But wait, what if it was a bushman smoking a pipe--Whoosh, back on the plain!  I know it's about traffic, but I really had a bit more fun with the migrating herds.  Nicely done.


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## CoercedAntiHero (Jul 9, 2015)

great rhythm  and the last line definitely ended it well. I imagine some turtle watching the  road pondering whether or not to cross. Then, after witnessing a car run off the road, decides to finally waddle to the other side. nice one!


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## midnightpoet (Jul 9, 2015)

I think everyone who's driven a car in traffic can relate; this reminds me of my many trips home from shopping, one lane country road at night, deer on both sides, giant semi's blaring down the road, all brights on, me hugging the right hand white stripe while praying and trying not to stare at the oncoming lights.:shock:


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## musichal (Jul 9, 2015)

midnightpoet said:


> I think everyone who's driven a car in traffic can relate; this reminds me of my many trips home from shopping, one lane country road at night, deer on both sides, giant semi's blaring down the road, all brights on, me hugging the right hand white stripe while praying and trying not to stare at the oncoming lights.:shock:



Exactly.


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