# Kind of scared



## Pidgeon84 (Feb 27, 2015)

So I think I've finally found a way to start my hormone therapy and begin my transition to becoming female. I'm really torn because it's been such a long time coming. Such a long fucking time. But I'm so scared. Scared of the reactions of every one around me. I'm not one to usually care but there are so many acts of violence against trans people that it's different this time. It's also hard because I feel like I've never had anyone to teach me how to be a girl (though I'll be the last person to tell you there's only one way to do it). But I have no idea how to do so many things. Some that actually require know how and some that are completely subjective. But I've really come to the point where I can't let the cons hold me back anymore. So tomorrow I'm calling and setting up my first assessment for hormone replacement therapy. I'm sure this won't be my last update on this.


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## Riptide (Feb 27, 2015)

You go girl!

Don't worry, the best of us females are still learning the trade too, you'll fit right in.
Anyway, the best of luck!


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 27, 2015)

Riptide said:


> You go girl!
> 
> Don't worry, the best of us females are still learning the trade too, you'll fit right in.
> Anyway, the best of luck!



Haha glad I'm not the only one. And thank you!


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## InnerFlame00 (Feb 27, 2015)

It's normal to be scared because it's a big change, even if it's one you've wanted for a long time. I will pray for your safety - I know there are hateful people out there who will attack someone just because they are different and it makes me so mad. I'm not sure how things are in Denver as far as the general attitude  towards trans people, but you'd be surprised how much people just don't  care enough to look twice at a person's face they pass, nevermind pass  judgement. I tell myself that any time I feel self conscious. So it may not be as bad as you thought. I imagine that once you are far enough into the therapy the average person will not be able to tell anyhow .

As for how to be a woman - boy is that complicated! Sometimes I don't understand women and I am one; being born a woman doesn't give me an advantage there. I don't think there's a woman out there who really feels like they've got it all down - and that IS a part of being a woman . I can tell you to be prepared for the emotional roller coaster though - the female hormones are potent stuff. They make me do some crazy things sometimes lol. Hint: chocolate is a great cure all. If you ever have any questions feel free to PM me and I'll help if I can! I can't help with the makeup side of things (my mom never taught me...I never did figure it out  ) but I know lots of philosophical stuff and a TON about how to make your frikkin hair behave already lol. And I'm sure the others on the forum would  be more than willing to offer advice as well .

Congrats on your decision! I'm happy for you that you are taking steps to being who you want to be. Good luck with it


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 27, 2015)

Well luckily Colorado tends to be a very progressive place. However, we are surrounded by our polar opposites on literally every side. So there is some residual neanderthalism (no offense to those living in those states :lol. But again it's good hear that there are other women who have the same questions about these things as I do. Makeup is one of the big things I am just clueless on. I need one of my friends to give me some serious lessons! And my hair, girl, forget about it. A mind of its own! 

Anyways, I so appreciate your kind words and well wishes innerflame!


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## J Anfinson (Feb 27, 2015)

While I am somewhat of a neanderthal, I do wish you well, pidgeon. Everyone deserves happiness.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 27, 2015)

Crap! I um, have many neanderthal friends! *cringe*

Really though, thank you. I totally agree, I'm not hurting anyone, but some folks don't like people like me being happy. But it seems like none of you guys here are like that. Which I really appreciate.


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## LeeC (Feb 28, 2015)

I hope you find the peace and happiness you are looking for


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 28, 2015)

I couldn't wish luck upon a nicer person. You deserve to be happy, Pidg, and I'll be beaming fuzzy warm feelings to you all day tomorrow.

Keep us posted.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

Oh my god, Bruno. I'm tearing up a little bit! Thank you so much!


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## am_hammy (Feb 28, 2015)

Had no idea you were pursuing all this, but wow. I admire you for going for it, even though it scares ya. But it will be all worth it in the end, yes?

You deserve happiness and a true chance at it. Will be thinking about ya and I hope everything goes well.

I'm not ridiculously girlie, but I am a girl and if ya ever have any questions I'm only a PM away! I hope the entire process for you is beautiful and I hope that the people around you give you nothing but support and love. Good luck with it all! And yes, definitely keep us all posted ^_^


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## J Anfinson (Feb 28, 2015)

Pidgeon84 said:


> but some folks don't like people like me being happy. But it seems like none of you guys here are like that. Which I really appreciate.



Just point those people out and I'll have my associates take care of them.

But seriously, no offense taken. I'm sort of a fence-sitter.


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## popsprocket (Feb 28, 2015)

Good luck Pidge!


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

am_hammy said:


> Had no idea you were pursuing all this, but wow. I admire you for going for it, even though it scares ya. But it will be all worth it in the end, yes?
> 
> You deserve happiness and a true chance at it. Will be thinking about ya and I hope everything goes well.
> 
> I'm not ridiculously girlie, but I am a girl and if ya ever have any questions I'm only a PM away! I hope the entire process for you is beautiful and I hope that the people around you give you nothing but support and love. Good luck with it all! And yes, definitely keep us all posted ^_^



Haha Boofy didn't draw with me boobs for nothing! Lmao but I'm gonna say now, it's gonna be so worth it. Not doing it is just eating away at me. Anyways, I'm sure I'll have many a question to send your guys' ways. Thank you! 



J Anfinson said:


> Just point those people out and I'll have my associates take care of them.
> 
> But seriously, no offense taken. I'm sort of a fence-sitter.



Oh man, it's so nice having friends with personal hitmen! Lol


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

popsprocket said:


> Good luck Pidge!



Thank you Pop! ^__^


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 28, 2015)

And, just to add, as a warning to anyone with anything other than helpful intentions, I come from a very large Italian family. If anyone says anything even _slightly_ less than positive in here -- so help me gosh -- we will genuinely eat you.

Carry on.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 28, 2015)

Bruno Spatola said:


> And, just to add, as a warning to anyone with anything other than helpful intentions, I come from a very large Italian family. If anyone says anything even _slightly_ less than positive in here -- so help me gosh -- we will genuinely eat you.
> 
> Carry on.



Hahaha! You completely had me set up for that punch line... Nothing like that at 1:30 in the morning for me...

Ah yes but no negativity here. Although I don't feel as strongly about it myself I've always felt as if I identify more with women if anything. I tend to prefer female company if not simply to avoid the competitive 'alpha male' spirit, and much else as well.

Besides, I'm skinny! I wouldn't be tasty! Haha!

Nothing but love and best wishes here! 

Since my words fail to do our feelings justice, here's a picture on our behalf:
View attachment 7786


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

Bruno Spatola said:


> And, just to add, as a warning to anyone with anything other than helpful intentions, I come from a very large Italian family. If anyone says anything even _slightly_ less than positive in here -- so help me gosh -- we will genuinely eat you.
> 
> Carry on.



I'm Scandinavian! My family pillage and plunder you! And then we'll offer your priests irresistible threesomes (anyone?) 



Crowley K. Jarvis said:


> Hahaha! You completely had me set up for that punch line... Nothing like that at 1:30 in the morning for me...
> 
> Ah yes but no negativity here. Although I don't feel as strongly about it myself I've always felt as if I identify more with women if anything. I tend to prefer female company if not simply to avoid the competitive 'alpha male' spirit, and much else as well.
> 
> ...


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## am_hammy (Feb 28, 2015)

Pidgeon84 said:


> Haha Boofy didn't draw with me boobs for nothing! Lmao but I'm gonna say now, it's gonna be so worth it. Not doing it is just eating away at me. Anyways, I'm sure I'll have many a question to send your guys' ways. Thank you!



Hey no problem! And honestly, it didn't even occur to me. You're simply Pidge. Regardless of whatever physical things change, you'll always be Pidge.


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## Boofy (Feb 28, 2015)

I have two trans friends, both male to female. Three counting wonderful Pidgerino ^^ One is finally in the middle of her treatments now! She waited so damned long to get the green light from the NHS (They made her do all sorts of therapy and hoop jumping first of course) but she's thrilled! It was hard for her to feel like she would be accepted too. She was also worried that she didn't really know how to be a girl. You may feel ungainly at first but as soon as you are physically more of who you've always been, you'll start to gain confidence like she did, I'm sure of it. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Support is important in this process. I know it must be damned confusing for you. /e-cuddle and all of my luck

Oooo... banana peels appeared out of thin air when I gave you my luck... ominous?


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

am_hammy said:


> You're simply Pidge. Regardless of whatever physical things change, you'll always be Pidge.



This is something I live by. Cause that's just how everyone knows me. No real labels cause I'm so all over the place lol. I'm just Pidgeon 



Boofy said:


> I have two trans friends, both male to female. Three counting wonderful Pidgerino ^^ One is finally in the middle of her treatments now! She waited so damned long to get the green light from the NHS (They made her do all sorts of therapy and hoop jumping first of course) but she's thrilled! It was hard for her to feel like she would be accepted too. She was also worried that she didn't really know how to be a girl. You may feel ungainly at first but as soon as you are physically more of who you've always been, you'll start to gain confidence like she did, I'm sure of it. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Support is important in this process. I know it must be damned confusing for you. /e-cuddle and all of my luck
> 
> Oooo... banana peels appeared out of thin air when I gave you my luck... ominous?



It really is hard when you're just inundated with gender roles. If so much as came home with nail polish on it was like the end of the world. Forget actually acting like a girl let alone becoming one. But I've worked hard at surrounding myself with a group of very supportive people. Like you guys! So e cuddles right back at... at... Is it raining banana peels?


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 28, 2015)

Pidgeon84 said:


> Haha Boofy didn't draw with me boobs for nothing!




Whoa, hey! I am blind as a mole rat bat...! Hahah! See, I didn't even notice! It just looked so natural on ya'! My lawdie I'm laughing right now! I seriously just now processed this fact.

I've always been jealous of boobs! Muscles just aren't as fun, no matter how big they get... Lucky!


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

Crowley K. Jarvis said:


> Whoa, hey! I am blind as a mole rat bat...! Hahah! See, I didn't even notice! It just looked so natural on ya'! My lawdie I'm laughing right now! I seriously just now processed this fact.
> 
> I've always been jealous of boobs! Muscles just aren't as fun, no matter how big they get... Lucky!



Lmao! I know right! Not to give out a little tmi... But the hormones do a good job in that department ;D


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 28, 2015)

I'm certain you'll, ah...have fun! xD

Most people say they get in the way, but I just call them natural buffer zones against hard surfaces and general impact, as opposed to immediate rib cage damage! 

That's the thing is taking things too seriously. I tell my family all the time they need to laugh and smile more.Being socially uptight is what made everyone miserable back when.  I have grandparents that get offended If I say words like 'fart.' It's hilarious.  But living with old folks gives me nice perspective on different things. 

Change can be awkward but humor is key! We're all friends, we can laugh about it together.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

I totally agree! My mom tells me I'm not serious enough, but I see where that attitude got her and I don't need that in my life.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 28, 2015)

I like to go to starbucks and similar places simply to soak in the stress of others and laugh knowing I never have to worry as much as they do...Haha. I know it's cruel!

Of course I don't believe children should lack proper discipline and whatnot, (Believe me I hate most other people my age) And of course social standards still exist-

But the people that become all uptight like that just shrivel into bitter sacks! Ew. I want to grow better like wine, not sour like milk!


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## joshybo (Feb 28, 2015)

Good luck on your journey!  We've not interacted much, but just know you have my support for whatever that may be worth.  We only get one life to live (probably).  Enjoy yours and be happy in it, Pidgeon!


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

joshybo said:


> Good luck on your journey!  We've not interacted much, but just know you have my support for whatever that may be worth.  We only get one life to live (probably).  Enjoy yours and be happy in it, Pidgeon!



I shall try my hardest! I will also try, in case there is more than one life, to not be reincarnated as a mosquito! Anyways, thank you good sir! I'm sure once Boofy starts cracking the whip we'll have plenty of opportunities to interact lol


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## Schrody (Feb 28, 2015)

J Anfinson said:


> While I am somewhat of a neanderthal, I do wish you well, pidgeon. Everyone deserves happiness.









:mrgreen:


Good luck Pidge, and way to go! It's a huge step and I'm proud of you! Don't listen to others, they haven't walked a mile in your shoes, and they don't have the right to say anything. I don't understand humans; we're the same specie and yet, we hate everyone who's "different" (regardless of skin color, beliefs or sexual orientation). It makes me sad and mad at the same time. Please, don't let those people put you down, and please, don't think there's something wrong with you - you're perfect, a product of millions of years of evolution, and when you became what you always wanted you'll be even more perfect! We love you and you have all the support you can get here. You go tiger (or should I say tigress?) 

EDIT: and please don't think there's only one way of how to behave (dress, look, you get the drift) as a woman, there aren't unfeminine behaviors anymore, we're not in the '50's  Everything you do will be characterized as a womanly behavior because you will be a woman


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## Gargh (Feb 28, 2015)

I'd be scared too; you'll be in a vulnerable position whilst you transition, but have faith in yourself that you know what you're doing! If you've got support and, hopefully, the people that matter onboard, then you'll be okay. Bon voyage


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

Schrody said:


> :mrgreen:
> 
> 
> Good luck Pidge, and way to go! It's a huge step and I'm proud of you! Don't listen to others, they haven't walked a mile in your shoes, and they don't have the right to say anything. I don't understand humans; we're the same specie and yet, we hate everyone who's "different" (regardless of skin color, beliefs or sexual orientation). It makes me sad and mad at the same time. Please, don't let those people put you down, and please, don't think there's something wrong with you - you're perfect, a product of millions of years of evolution, and when you became what you always wanted you'll be even more perfect! We love you and you have all the support you can get here. You go tiger (or should I say tigress?)
> ...



I just wish that's how everyone thought. I don't generally care what people think of me, but this is a little different. With a lot of people, nothing I do will ever be seen as womanly. Then there's the chance of violence. Which... Sucks. But I have to say, you guys are too good to me and really have me looking on the bright side of things right now!


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

Gargh said:


> I'd be scared too; you'll be in a vulnerable position whilst you transition, but have faith in yourself that you know what you're doing! If you've got support and, hopefully, the people that matter onboard, then you'll be okay. Bon voyage



I do have all the people that matter to me board! I've worked really hard at making it that way. It's really shining through right now! You guys have me really excited and inspired to go on with this!


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 28, 2015)

This younger generation is the one that will erase a lot of the ignorance in the world, I think. More and more people are free-thinking and logical, rather than stuck in old-world views based on outdated information and hate/fear. We're living in a world where our children _will_ be exposed to more cultures, sexualities, and radical ideas about what gender actually means, whether you want it or not. It's just a natural progression of the western world, I think, and let's hope that spreads elsewhere, like exposure therapy on a mass scale.

It's social evolution in utero, so to speak. Just sayin'. I think that's fucking great. Your kind of bravery changes the world, and no matter how small a part you play in the grand scheme, it all builds to significance. I hope the world will be entirely free of its mental shackles, one day. NOW LET'S TAKE IT TO THE STREETS.






Eh, after breakfast though *rumble*


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## Schrody (Feb 28, 2015)

Pidgeon84 said:


> I just wish that's how everyone thought. I don't generally care what people think of me, but this is a little different. With a lot of people, nothing I do will ever be seen as womanly. Then there's the chance of violence. Which... Sucks. But I have to say, you guys are too good to me and really have me looking on the bright side of things right now!



Hey, if you encounter an idiot he can beat you just because you're wearing a T-shirt of a band he doesn't like, so there isn't a safe person. Nevertheless, you can't let fear dictates your life, you should live it to the fullest and be grateful for every day spend on Earth, and that goes for everyone. I know you're scared, I'm scared too sometimes- it's the world we live in, but we mustn't let that prevent us from our desires and happier life.  I know it's hard, and probably will be even harder before it becomes better and easier, but when it's over, you'll be glad you did it (I suppose you gave it a lot of thought and decided what's best for you).


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

@Bruno : I really hope that's what we're coming to!  It certainly seems that way though. I just wish the old train of thought didn't fight it tooth and nail. Anyways, for breakfast I've made us some panca... Where'd they go? Hammy! 

@Schrody: Are suggesting that there be some people who don't like my favorite shirt?!


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## popsprocket (Feb 28, 2015)

Pidgeon84 said:


> I'm Scandinavian! My family pillage and plunder you! And then we'll offer your priests irresistible threesomes (anyone?)



"No thanks, I don't like threesomes with beautiful people."

-Athelstan






"Also, I'm pretty good looking and I know it."

-Athelstan "Humble Monk"


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

popsprocket said:


> "No thanks, I don't like threesomes with beautiful people."
> 
> -Athelstan
> 
> ...



Seriously though, hottest... threesome... Ever.


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## popsprocket (Feb 28, 2015)

His eyes are pretty intense. I'm not saying I'm into men, but for realsies:


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## Firemajic (Feb 28, 2015)

Pidge...you WILL always be pidge, fabulous, inspirational, courageous and just plain wonderful, and I adore you. Peace my friend...Jul


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 28, 2015)

Hey, Pidge: did you know another name for the common pidgeon is a rock dove? Maybe you picked that name . . . or maybe it picked you.

Bruno wins the thread. Boom. Shot to the heart.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

popsprocket said:


> His eyes are pretty intense. I'm not saying I'm into men, but for realsies:



Mmmmmmm... Were we discussing something? Oh! 



Firemajic said:


> Pidge...you WILL always be pidge, fabulous, inspirational, courageous and just plain wonderful, and I adore you. Peace my friend...Jul



I adore you too! ^__^ thank you so much. For real. 



Bruno Spatola said:


> Hey, Pidge: did you know another name for the common pidgeon is a rock dove? Maybe you picked that name . . . or maybe it picked you.
> 
> Bruno wins the thread. Boom. Shot to the heart.




Well it definitely picked me. It's my last name. I love the hidden beauty in it though. I love the new meaning you given it!


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## Schrody (Feb 28, 2015)

Pidgeon84 said:


> @Schrody: Are suggesting that there be some people who don't like my favorite shirt?!
> 
> View attachment 7789



Dunno :-s


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## JustRob (Feb 28, 2015)

I was educated at an all boys boarding school, a testosterone incubator, and I concluded that I'm not that impressed by testosterone junkies. I did meet plenty of neuter minds there though and that made the experience worthwhile. I think that my mind has always been neuter while my body has done its masculine thing in the past but now I'm getting much older my body seems to be agreeing with my mind that being neuter is quite acceptable. 

A friend told me that a girlfriend of his had given him a dress as a present but he'd never had the courage to wear it. To my mind he'd never had the figure either and I would have considered the proposition quite acceptable if he'd lost some weight first, so give some thought to your wardrobe. We are our minds. Beyond that we choose the clothes that we wear, the way that we adorn, pierce and impale our flesh, so what does it matter what flesh we choose to wear? Very little to my mind. It's just a question of what we feel comfortable in, thinks he having tried walking in his wife's stilettos. That's feasible as we both take the same size shoes by the way. To understand a man one is advised to walk a mile in his shoes, but I would never get anywhere near that far in some of the things that some women wear. As I said, it's what makes us feel comfortable, but also we need to consider what makes those around us whose company we value feel comfortable. When people talk about needing courage to "come out" I wonder whether they understand entirely that it is others who have to take courage as well in openly displaying their attitudes to the revelation. People prefer to sit quietly on the fence and can be disquieted when forced to face the decision. If you are happy that the people that matter to you will be happy then there is no down side there though.

This gender game is a strange one. I was in a mental hospital for a while in my youth and I met a homosexual there, in the days when such a thing was considered an illness. He was a great conversationalist and invited me into his padded cell, the room that he'd chosen to occupy himself as it was soundproof and excluded the noise from the rest of the ward, I hasten to add. He assured me that I was quite safe as he didn't fancy me. Despite being decidedly heterosexual I felt put out by this, having always assumed that I had some choice in the matter even if I'd already made my choice at that boarding school. He complained that he'd been assigned to the ugliest female psychiatrist in the hospital and that she was an aversion therapy herself that would avert him from ever becoming a heterosexual. I recollect that her nail varnish was just a single stripe hastily drawn down the centre of each nail, but then she clearly didn't feel the need to spend much time adorning the sow's ear that was her body. Contrarily for my part my psychiatrist was a gorgeously elegant Indian lady who wore fabulous saris, someone who could have won him over in an instant. I did wonder whether these people really understood the human mind. They decided that I could leave that place when the assessment panel questioning me fell off their seats in laughter and realised that my affliction was highly infectious but probably a good thing for society. Humour doesn't cure the madness of humanity but it makes it far more tolerable.

A change of clothes or a change of flesh, where's the difference in the end? Choose well and I wish you well with your choice and always remember that a sense of humour will overcome many obstacles and open many doors.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

@Rob 

That's such a good way of looking at it. I think a sense of humor is something I've developed because I've realized that it's kind of the most important thing in overcoming obstacles. Though it's funny how much importance I've placed in the simple change of wardrobe. It seems like a rather small thing, but I've put a lot of weight on it. Maybe too much. Though I think you, Rob, and the others have shown me that's it's maybe not SO important. So thank you.


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## Deleted member 56686 (Feb 28, 2015)

I'm not going to get into some great speech(mostly because I'm having a crappy day), but you know you have a lot of friends here, Pidge. 

So go knock em dead


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

I will, thanks Musty!


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## escorial (Feb 28, 2015)

being scared is all part of life's journey...your need to do it must make you so strong and so weak at times but it's something you must do..and your strength of character  must be formidable dude..


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## InnerFlame00 (Feb 28, 2015)

On boobs though...while they have advantages there are some key disadvantages you must be prepared for. Sleeping on your stomach will never be the same for one. Also, boob sweat. We like to pretend our lovelies are perfect and nice all the time but sweat happens and it's not pretty sometimes lol. Not to mention that boobs can sometimes be jerk magnets lol.

The way I figure though - You coming over to the female side is just another victory for us females! One less male in the world MUAHAHAAAAA!! Welcome to the superior sex :queen:


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## midnightpoet (Feb 28, 2015)

Wish you luck, and I admire your courage.  Social change comes slow, but like the black lady who sat in front of the bus, each person doing something positive can make things move faster.  People still get upset if a guy has long hair or wears pink.  It's not what a person looks like on the outside that defines character, but what's on the inside that really shows what he or she is really made of.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

escorial said:


> being scared is all part of life's journey...your need to do it must make you so strong and so weak at times but it's something you must do..and your strength of character  must be formidable dude..



I think I can! I think I can!  thank you, sir. I will do my best! 



InnerFlame00 said:


> On boobs though...while they have advantages there are some key disadvantages you must be prepared for. Sleeping on your stomach will never be the same for one. Also, boob sweat. We like to pretend our lovelies are perfect and nice all the time but sweat happens and it's not pretty sometimes lol. Not to mention that boobs can sometimes be jerk magnets lol.
> 
> The way I figure though - You coming over to the female side is just another victory for us females! One less male in the world MUAHAHAAAAA!! Welcome to the superior sex :queen:



I will certainly learn how to deal. Believe me. Boob sweat is nothing lol. Anyways I will truly enjoying ascending to goddesshood 



midnightpoet said:


> Wish you luck, and I admire your courage.  Social change comes slow, but like the black lady who sat in front of the bus, each person doing something positive can make things move faster.  People still get upset if a guy has long hair or wears pink.  It's not what a person looks like on the outside that defines character, but what's on the inside that really shows what he or she is really made of.



Right, some are people won't take the time to look past the exterior, but screw em!


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## InstituteMan (Feb 28, 2015)

Good luck, Pidge! 

Transitions are hard even when they are little transitions like when InstituteWoman and I decided to start making brown rice instead of white rice at home. The transition you are facing is way harder and scarier than trying to get more whole grains into your diet.

I'm old enough to remember when the kind of transition you're facing was not an okay thing, and I am from a time and place where I would have not approved when I was younger. The thing is, you don't need me to approve of diddly-squat, and I've known a few people who have dealt with this very issue before. From knowing them, I figured out that being and living as a trans person isn't some terrible thing. I also realized that they wouldn't have gone through all of the challenges if this wasn't something they _had _to do. From knowing you around the boards for awhile, I know that this is who you are, and that's cool. 

Now that I am older and wiser and have seen more of the world than the little sliver of bigotry I grew up in so long ago, I realize that it doesn't matter that I can't entirely wrap my head around what you're going through, because it just isn't something I have to wrap my head around. All I need to do is support you along the way.

I mention all of that just to let you know that even when you face the neanderthals (as I surely was once upon a time), your very presence in their lives may help them grow their compassion and grace a little bit more, or maybe even a lot more. It's not your job to turn bigots into better people, mind you, and I hope you won't encounter any bigots at all (I fear that won't be the case, though), but I hope that knowing you are helping people around you by bravely living as yourself will make some of the smaller nonsense bearable. You really are making a better world for kids being born now.

On one final note, if you EVER need to sue someone, or to threaten to sue someone, shoot me a PM. I am the last person you would want to take that task on, because I just don't work in litigation at all, so there is zero chance I would have the expertise needed to handle such a situation. I know people, though, and I can put you in touch if you need them.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

InstituteMan said:


> Good luck, Pidge!
> 
> Transitions are hard even when they are little transitions like when InstituteWoman and I decided to start making brown rice instead of white rice at home. The transition you are facing is way harder and scarier than trying to get more whole grains into your diet.
> 
> ...



It makes me so happy to see people who were once on the bigoted side of the fence and came over to the other side. And have to face bigots every now and then. I'll guess I'll just have to learn how to deal with them and not be affect by their words. But if worse comes to worse I'll shoot you a message. Let's hope it doesn't come to that though!


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 28, 2015)

The call has been made! I feel so good about this, which is due in large part to you guys! Thank you so much guys!


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 28, 2015)

Fuck yeah! That's the first important step -- can't imagine how you're feeling right about now.

 Good for you, Pidge. Good luck.


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## J Anfinson (Feb 28, 2015)

InstituteMan said:


> The thing is, you don't need me to approve of diddly-squat



^ This. All the way. Even though some of us may have reservations on the subject, it should never keep you from doing what makes you happy. That's what freedom is all about, and I'll defend freedom above all else.


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## TJ1985 (Feb 28, 2015)

I'm a simple man with simple opinions. For a while I spent all my time changing myself to satisfy others. If someone said my hair was too long--even if it was the dead of winter--I'd go get a 1/8" buzz cut. If someone said my car was too dirty, I'd go get it washed immediately even if it took money I needed for something else. If somebody said my boots were too "out of style", I'd take money I could use for a need and buy boots. My hair was keeping my head warm, my wallet needed money more than a carwash, and my boots were three months old. I didn't need those things, but I did that stuff so others would be happy. 

Pidge, I need you to do a favor for me, and it's very important to me. It's a big job, it won't be easy, and it may not always be fun, but it's important to me. Are you ready? 

I need you to go forth and be the best damn Pidge that _*you *_want to be. If somebody doesn't like you, fine, that's their loss for not getting to know you. Just be the you that you're happiest being. That's all. Some might cap this off with "make me proud", but that's not what I'm about. Don't care about what makes *me *proud, busy yourself being the person that makes *you *proud! If you do so, _that _will make me proud.


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## Pidgeon84 (Mar 1, 2015)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Fuck yeah! That's the first important step -- can't imagine how you're feeling right about now.
> 
> Good for you, Pidge. Good luck.


The first step has been a decade in the making. I really think it is the most important step, but also the hardest one. So I feel amazing at having taken it.  So good! 



J Anfinson said:


> ^ This. All the way. Even though some of us may have reservations on the subject, it should never keep you from doing what makes you happy. That's what freedom is all about, and I'll defend freedom above all else.



Well, I am well on my way to becoming what I have always envisioned. To putting other people's reservations behind. At this point I'm on the fast track to becoming what I think will be the most content with myself I've ever been. 



TJ1985 said:


> I'm a simple man with simple opinions. For a while I spent all my time changing myself to satisfy others. If someone said my hair was too long--even if it was the dead of winter--I'd go get a 1/8" buzz cut. If someone said my car was too dirty, I'd go get it washed immediately even if it took money I needed for something else. If somebody said my boots were too "out of style", I'd take money I could use for a need and buy boots. My hair was keeping my head warm, my wallet needed money more than a carwash, and my boots were three months old. I didn't need those things, but I did that stuff so others would be happy.
> 
> Pidge, I need you to do a favor for me, and it's very important to me. It's a big job, it won't be easy, and it may not always be fun, but it's important to me. Are you ready?
> 
> I need you to go forth and be the best damn Pidge that _*you *_want to be. If somebody doesn't like you, fine, that's their loss for not getting to know you. Just be the you that you're happiest being. That's all. Some might cap this off with "make me proud", but that's not what I'm about. Don't care about what makes *me *proud, busy yourself being the person that makes *you *proud! If you do so, _that _will make me proud.



Oh my goddess, TJ. I am so touched by this. So touched. You bet I will work my ass off at becoming the best me I can be. I think that's my life's goal and I think this is a huge step in that direction. Thank you so much!


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## am_hammy (Mar 1, 2015)

Pidgeon84 said:


> The call has been made! I feel so good about this, which is due in large part to you guys! Thank you so much guys!



Yay! That's fantastic Pidge! What an incredible journey you're officially, offiiiiicially starting. Super happy for you and taking that next step. Each moment along the way now will become more and more exciting. Even if it's difficult it will all be worth it in the end for you, I just know it. ^_^

You deserve the biggest pile of pancakes right now!


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## Pidgeon84 (Mar 1, 2015)




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## Gofa (Mar 1, 2015)

Hope you have someone to talk through a new way of perceiving the world.  A friend changed from him to her. The hormones effect your thinking quite a lot. You need to surf some of the waves that come through. 
Im sure this has been spoken of but understanding chemical states is important as psychology rarely over comes brain chemistry. You learn to wait the stuff out 
this is how i feel not who i am.  
As my friend says about high heels dont knock them till youve tried them   

All the best pidge.  My goal in life is to be myself.  In that we share a compass.  Different map but thats not too big a deal


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## Pidgeon84 (Mar 1, 2015)

I do have people to talk to. A wonderful bunch of folk. So apparently I'm more surrounded by love than I had originally thought!


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## Gofa (Mar 1, 2015)

Aint that the truth for most of us.  Well done you for spotting that


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## Pidgeon84 (Mar 2, 2015)

Gofa said:


> Aint that the truth for most of us.  Well done you for spotting that



Indeed. I did not expect the amount of good vibes. There was big group of friends that wished me well. A group I I expected to be really mixed.


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## Ariel (Mar 2, 2015)

Congratulations!  My advice for anyone would be to always be yourself and to do what makes you happy.


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## Pidgeon84 (Mar 2, 2015)

amsawtell said:


> Congratulations!  My advice for anyone would be to always be yourself and to do what makes you happy.



I feel like I'm finally on my way to do just that. Feels great.


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## Ariel (Mar 2, 2015)

I bet!  I'm excited for you.  I wish you all the best.


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