# Carpe Diem



## notsocordial (Jun 15, 2019)

“I guess sometimes the greatest memories are made in the most unlikely of places, further proof that spontaneity is more rewarding than a meticulously planned life.” Redmerski struck the chord here. It got me thinking about how we waste so much time pondering and procrastinating things while we could have just gotten done with it and have our answers served on a plate. I wish executing this was as easily done as said. Let me take you through my journey (wouldn't say successful yet) of how I embraced more spontaneity and overcame my fears; how I focused on seizing the moment.


When I was a kid, I shied away and was intimidated easily. I would have the right replies to everyone and everything that seemed wrong but could never get it out. Even now, actually. I would just say it in my head because I was afraid of outcomes, circumstances, and repercussions. I would gulp the words down my throats and keep it to myself. Talking about the things I felt gave me anxiety. I opened up only with my mother. But, even then, I would filter the headlines and keep the deeper stuff to myself.


A lot of these fears were attributed to the kind of culture that prevailed in the place I lived in. Customs, traditions and age-old rules have always posed as a stigma to what could have been and what is. And, being a girl, it did not make it any easier. Constantly being told what we can do and what we cannot have held us back. Thus, giving rise to fears of failing at things, being made a fool of. It holds us back from trying out new things and that is where fear and lack of spontaneity comes into play.
Sleep did not come easy to me. I would imagine scenarios and conversations that I could have had. I would lie on my bed and think of everything I was told I could not do. Gradually, you accept it.


Your brain assures you that you are really not capable of doing things that you wanted to because you have been told so. "You cannot retort back to your elders", "You cannot pass that exam", "you cannot craft that DIY", "you cannot ride that bike 10 km", "you cannot make friends easily", "you cannot laugh so loudly", "you cannot sit in this manner", " and slowly but steadily you start accepting these. When you are repetitively told you cannot do something, you start believing in that. I did, too. Maybe my "cannots" were different than yours, but it leads to the same inference. Fear. Seizing the moment requires an uber amount of courage.


Mostly because of these amazing people I have around me. My mother, especially. She showed me that I could do what I wanted to and no matter what the obstruction, I had overcome those successfully and there was nothing in the world I could not do if I wanted. I figured I was capable of so much more than my "cannot". When I did not give a damn about what others thought of me and just focused on my betterment, I actually did get there.


I always had a passion for writing and putting my thoughts on a plate. But, I was too afraid of how people would react if I missed a word on the stage or made vague statements. A teacher and a friend of mine, back in school, pushed me into it. They told me that they believed in me and it was all that I needed. I participated in a Debate Competition and bagged the first position. There was no looking back. I was in good shape for "seizing the moment". I expanded my areas in all the ways I possibly could to the best of my ability. Every time I was shrouded with self-doubt and questions, I would try looking through the eyes of someone who loves me and know immediately how much they trust in me and my capabilities. So, thank you, guys!


Just last night, I really wanted to do some really good dancing and I and my friends were standing outside a pub and just listening to the music blazing from the inside. We were wearing clothes that were completely Indian and people were sure to judge us. There was this instance, I looked at a friend of mine and asked her if she wanted to join me inside, and she was unsure since the dress code was not "acceptable" but we just followed our guts and ran inside- danced the heck out for a good 30 minutes and came out all happy and new! People stared at us, for sure, but eh, who cares? We seized the moment.


If you guys have read "The Power of your Subconscious Mind", you know that the conscious mind works exactly by how and what you tell your subconscious mind. If you tell yourself that you are not capable of something, your mind makes sure you don't. It doesn't know what is right or wrong, it just follows a command. So, if you tell your brain, "Hon, you can do it!", you really can. No huge thing was ever accomplished inside your comfort zone. So, instead of wasting time making plans, convincing yourself to execute them, delving in fear of the unknown, of things that might even be non-existent, postponing actions because of fear and delaying progress, giving millions of excuses as to why this time is not right, why don't we just do it for once and see what happens? We will have our answers. Right?


So, good luck seizing the moment. Good luck getting over your fears and being spontaneous. That's how you make memories.
Carpe Diem.


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## Winston (Jun 15, 2019)

Wow.  You're writing really has improved over your last few posts.  I did catch a slightly disorienting first-to-third person perspective shift between paragraphs 3 and 4. Minor distraction.   
But good use of examples and supporting information.  You painted a clear picture of you and the space around you.  And, most importantly for this piece, how you impact that space, encouraging others to do the same.

On a personal note, I would just counter that it's more than simply "seizing" what is in front of you.  A person must also have skills and some ability.  Being bold is not enough on it's own.
In your case, you had your mother (and other amazing people) providing support.  Perhaps I would have included that in your conclusion:  Surround yourself with "can" people, not "cannots".
You were a leader at the pub.  Encourage others. Keep it up.


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## Ralph Rotten (Jun 15, 2019)

Good piece, you worked through your points in a logical manner, there were no derailments, you got us into your world so we could see how you were culturally forced thru a cattle chute (essentially). The arguments were strong and consistent.

The only negative I'd have would be that this piece felt like you should have written it less formal, more casual. Y'know, talk more naturally so you get in your own character and expressions. Less narrator and more Notsocordial. You sound like an interesting character; let it shine thru your writing.


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## notsocordial (Jun 20, 2019)

Thank you so much! I will work on my negatives 

Thank you, means so much!


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## Bard_Daniel (Jun 20, 2019)

I also agree that the pieces keep coming in stronger and stronger, better and better. You've developing your craft and it's a magnificent sight to see. I do agree that the piece might benefit from either choosing to make it formalized or less formal, but that is the only gripe that I have with it. Right now, it stands in the middle and I'm not certain that best suits the manner of the work.


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## dither (Jun 22, 2019)

notsocordial,
I'm a bloke, a very old bloke now of course, I can't relate to the whats how and whys. The cans the can nots and the must nots of a woman's world.
Imagine being a boy, the eldest of five, constantly being told how lucky he is, how clever he is, he can do/be anything and yet, he's a total wimp, he simply doesn't dare. The bottom line..... A total failure.
I'm in my sixties now and I mourn my life, the life that wasn't.
There are two sides to every coin notso.
I was easily intimidated as a kid, I too sheid away and, ultimately RAN away.
I wish you well notso and sincerely wish you luck and that you keep grasping the moment.


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