# I Love You, Summer!



## xiaoman (Aug 3, 2016)

Twenty  degrees Celsius here, no complain, 
 You can enjoy yourself on the cool sand，
While it is so hot somewhere in the inland,
 that you can cook eggs on the top of a train. 
 In the woods, chickadees pleasantly sing,
 happy  as the happy face of the sun.
 kids bike, run, laugh, having lots of fun,
 in summer, you can do many a thing:
 Gardening, barbecue, camping, chasing deer,
 but not all the time using the internet.
 if possible, tour around the planet,  
 if not, go to the farmer's market that's near.
 oh, I love summer, your days and nights,
 and wish my friends a good time with delights！

August 3, 2016


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## Galivanting (Aug 3, 2016)

usually not the biggest fan of rhyming poetry but this feels better than most... not super forced (only forced rhyme for me was "complain/train", being the first line it did stand out a bit)

also i think chickadees may have had their time in the poetic limelight... i understand if in your mind the birds are literally chickadees but if any songbird would do theres so many to pick from with names just as fun. sorry i know its a weird critique, just something that came to my mind.

i feel this really creates a nice pastoral scene to live in, builds a picture of lower alabama for me, brought me right to being a kid escaping the heat to go to the coast.

writing happy poetry seems difficult and i liked this one, so bravo


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## musichal (Aug 3, 2016)

xiaoman said:


> Twenty  degrees Celsius here, no complain,
> You can enjoy yourself on the cool sand，
> While it is so hot somewhere in the inland,
> that you can cook eggs on the top of a train.
> ...



I think some stream-lining would improve flow.  Something like:

Twenty C here, no complaint 
on the cool sands.
So hot inland,
eggs fry atop rooves of train.
Chickadee hymns from trees
praise a happy sun,
as kids run and bike
and all summer fun.
The time for doing,
not for glowing screens.
Scents of mown grass, bar-b-ques.
Go.  Discover.  Camp, chase deer.
Tour farmer's market.
Summer fun
on summer night.
Summertime,
lovers' delight.


Something like that, but better.  Play with it some more - you have some good ideas.


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## Sonata (Aug 3, 2016)

A delightful poem - but oh how I wish it was only 20° Celsius here.  That would be my idea of comfort and bliss.

I really did enjoy your poem though, even though I was jealous of the cool temperature!


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## Firemajic (Aug 4, 2016)

xiaoman, there is an innocence in your poetry that I love, unpretentious and full of joy...


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