# Modern novelty



## Pursuit (Jul 22, 2015)

Modern novelty 

*Embryo protected by walls of a mother.
Awakening to a strange abode.
Flawless attention--truly my lover.
Truly I love her, stories get told!

Blissful eyes encounter colorful sight.
Delicate surface yonder the view.
Father escorts---while holding me tight.
Thriving world, so much to do!

Cosmic experience into linguistic mystery.
Transmitting codes through sound.
Strange taste---palate curious for history
Broken signals going around and around.

Span of life hard, callous reminder.
Treacherous land attempting to sow.
Growing yet dying---old to minor.
Animation of cravings, seeking to know.*


----------



## Firemajic (Jul 22, 2015)

Pursuit said:


> Modern novelty
> 
> *Embryo protected by walls of a mother.    Fabulous first lines!
> Awakening to a strange abode.
> ...





I really enjoyed this poem... very original message! Intriguing imagery... oh yeah! Your imagery... much better! Good work... Thank you for sharing your poem with me... Peace... Julia


----------



## Mesafalcon (Jul 22, 2015)

I like the use of bolds.

Nice opening line too!

Since we went through that whole ordeal with Imminent momentum...

I am seeing all your poems in color now. (but now I deceide the color scheme)


----------



## Pursuit (Jul 23, 2015)

Mesafalcon said:


> I like the use of bolds.
> 
> Nice opening line too!
> 
> ...


 Do not over attach yourself to the past, colors have influence on the human eye that is science.


----------



## Lewdog (Jul 23, 2015)

I liked the poem, and can't really say many bad things about it, but I think you can still bestow imagery with less adjectives clogging up the poem.  I get that it is a child being born and learning to speak and read, but you left me on the hook and didn't reel me in.  You might think about adding a couple more stanzas to this and bring the child more through the journey of life.


----------



## Pursuit (Jul 23, 2015)

Lewdog said:


> I liked the poem, and can't really say many bad things about it, but I think you can still bestow imagery with less adjectives clogging up the poem.  I get that it is a child being born and learning to speak and read, but you left me on the hook and didn't reel me in.  You might think about adding a couple more stanzas to this and bring the child more through the journey of life.


 I was going to make the poem longer, than i realized I'm not  a good enough writer lol


----------



## Lewdog (Jul 23, 2015)

Pursuit said:


> I was going to make the poem longer, than i realized I'm not  a good enough writer lol



Come on, write about puberty!


----------



## Mesafalcon (Jul 23, 2015)

Pursuit said:


> Do not over attach yourself to the past, colors have influence on the human eye that is science.



These two ideas don't quite connect.

I won't attach myself to the past when it becomes the past, not 24 hours ago...

And... ya, that's right about colors! They are there as an option for us to use!


----------



## Pursuit (Jul 23, 2015)

Mesafalcon said:


> These two ideas don't quite connect.
> 
> I won't attach myself to the past when it becomes the past, not 24 hours ago...
> 
> And... ya, that's right about colors! They are there as an option for us to use!


 Past is the past, whether its minutes or years.. in this case another poem.


----------



## escorial (Jul 23, 2015)

read it a few times and iv'e read all the replies...it's like every word at the start of each line makes me stop and read it in parts not as a whole...i do like that though


----------



## Oblivious Plunge (Jul 23, 2015)

Reading your poem reminds me of lifestyle. As I understood it it's about the wonders of life and perhaps milestones. Milestones such as marriage, exploring the world and being adventurous- realizing your time is limited and you will never have the chance to explore it all and thus make the best of it. I like it!


----------

