# Meeting Notes



## ChicagoHeart (Oct 26, 2011)

Hi all, I'm working on a book about a quirky commitment phobic woman with a penchant for alcohol, daydreaming, and other distractions. It's put together in several "journal like" entries that sort of stand alone and this is the first one. It is a bit of a rant but hoping it gives insight to the nutty way her mind works. I have 6 parts so far but this first entry is admittedly the weakest , so I'd love some feedback. Thanks to anyone for taking the time

*Meeting Notes*

Big Pharma probably has a pill for this. Something I could swallow right now that would help me mentally check back into this meeting. Of course it would probably make my hair fall out, my tongue swell, and eliminate my sex drive. On the other hand, it’s probably best to lose my sex drive if I’m bald and can’t speak because my tongue is three times its normal size.


But back to this meeting. What a colossal waste of my time. Two hours now in a room full of people discussing subjects I can’t seem to truly care about. Revenues, cost cutting, marketing strategy… I have to admit that today, I am genuinely disinterested. If I wasn’t the manager, I’d fire me.

Hi, my name is Bridget. Every day, (well, _almost _every day- I seem to max out at four days per week) I come to this office and pretend to give a damn. Ok, not quite true. I only started not giving a damn about 5 months ago. 

_Do you have feelings of hopelessness , loss of interest in daily activities, decreased ability to concentrate? If so, Zoloft might be right for you. Tell your doctor if…._

I don’t think I’m depressed though. I think I’m just keenly aware that there must be something more meaningful to do in life than posture for position on the corporate ladder. Then again, thinking about that _is_ kind of depressing. How much better it is to be blissfully unaware of these pressures. Alcohol helps there. Makes me blissfully unaware. 

But I digress. Right now I have about ten seemingly important (by society’s standards) tasks on my plate. They’re growing mold they’ve been on my plate so long. I could divide them roughly in half between personal and professional tasks. One of those tasks is “create a to-do list". This diatribe actually started as a to-do list but I lost focus and it quickly became a diary of real-time irrational thoughts. Actually, it started out as meeting notes illustrated with my favorite graphic doodles, morphed into a to-do list, and then became a diary of real-time irrational thoughts. 

_Are you easily distracted? Have a hard time finishing tasks? Find yourself daydreaming? Consider yourself an underachiever? If so, ask your doctor about Concerta….._

Focus. So today, I’m sitting in this meeting and thinking, “what if I walk out of this room right now, just keep walking, exit this building, get in my car, and start driving west?” 

West, because it’s warmer and my car would never make it in a cold climate. I’m worried it’s not going to survive this Chicago winter as it is. But who am I kidding? It wouldn’t make 200 miles in the mildest of climates on the smoothest of roads. I’d have to get a tune up, an oil change and new tires. All of which completely stall my fantasy of impulsively running away to California. I’d have to create a to-do list just to leave in a reliable getaway car. And given that this diary of real-time irrational thoughts was formerly a to-do list….. Well... I could take a bus. If I take a bus, then I can mark off “oil change, tune-up and new tires” from my (mental) to-do list. 

Forget the bus. Too much to sort out ahead of time. Find schedules, buy tickets, make connections, and then you’re looking for a cab to get to a motel. Not that I have any real experience with busses. I imagine they are much like trains only running alongside cars rather than above them. And I’ve had no luck with trains. I live a half block from the train station and can’t successfully get from point “A” to point “B” without detouring to point “C” somewhere in the middle. I either read the schedule wrong, or miss my stop, or forget to have cash for the ticket. I’m not sure what else the CTA has to do to prepare me to use the public transit system but I feel completely inadequate when surrounded by seasoned commuters. Plus, there is nothing like sitting on a train watching out the window as the landscape changes to make me forget about my destination. The temptation to get off the train and step into a completely new place pulls on me like a gravitational force. Next thing I know, I’m late for an appointment and coughing up cab fare so I can back-track to my original destination.

Buses and Trains are out.

I will have to escape in a car. I could steal my boyfriend’s car. He doesn’t use it anyway since he got his second DUI and lost his license. I mean it’s been two years so I don’t think he’s planning on getting his license reinstated (or finding a job for that matter) anytime soon. And I could just leave him my car for emergencies. Perhaps I’ll just ask if I can borrow. No reason the getaway car has to be stolen. Why add real fugitive stress to my escape from reality? Another plus: it’s an SUV- very conducive to packing up and driving halfway across the country. This might be an omen. If I were seeing a guy with a job and a license, I’d be stuck in the Corporate American Rat Race logging meeting notes forever. But as luck would have it, I’m on my way to escaping in a reliable, barely driven SUV with new tires. 

Funny how things work out.


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## AveryT (Feb 11, 2012)

It seems like you can relate well to the way your character is feeling, which is always a plus.

Generally, I think it's a nice inner monologue. But I felt my eyes glazing over a little bit reading the last three paragraphs, when she starts thinking about where to go. The train of thought is relatable, but I feel there should be something to loosen it up.... Maybe that's just me, though.

I don't know if this is still relevant, but if so, I hope I could help.

Avery


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## oornelakes (Feb 11, 2012)

I may have felt similarly to AveryT above. 

Just a thought, but if you had Bridget chairing the meeting so that she's forced to be more active in it, you could then intersperse her wayward thoughts with her involvement in the meeting. 
That would break things up, and would throw up some possibilities for humor as she'd be forced to keep returning to the moment to get on with the meeting. 

This kind of writing's harder, perhaps, because your character has got to be very entertaining to keep the reader interested. But if you've got a great voice, it can be very good.


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## mkm8816 (Mar 4, 2012)

Hello! 

Your implementation of humor is commendable! I laughed out loud a number of times. I think that oornelake's idea 





> if you had Bridget chairing the meeting so that she's forced to be more active in it


 is an extremely good one, as it would also allow her to internally comment on her own comments.  I think you're well on the way to having a very comic character, but I think that perhaps you could make her more interesting by making her have a more put-together external life to contrast the internal melee.  If she's telling people to be passionate while thinking about how much she doesn't care, or telling people to eat healthily in order to be more productive while fantasizing about a doughnut it might add an additional complexity. Overall, I found your blurb entertaining, and I would most definitely continue reading. 

MK


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## ChicagoHeart (Mar 13, 2012)

thanks for the feedback ( sorry its taken so long to respond, I have been away for a couple of months.) Yes, to be honest, my own eyes glaze over in the middle of this.  I have had a hard time putting it away because it was just a blurb but then i kept sort of adding to it somewhat disjointedly and the character and story sort of grew into something more - to the point where I think i will have to seriously rewrite that whole first page in order for it to work with the subsequent parts.   Its coming out as nearly a diary sort of structure now with each entry gradually revealing a little more about this character and her true issues. It will decidely need editing when i'm done but i think i'll have to just write it all out in draft form and then figure which parts to keep and which to rewrite or toss altogether.  I will  post the second bit and then if you bear with me those afterward get (i think) much deeper and funnier.


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## aroberson (Apr 10, 2012)

Lovely train of thought- obsessive thinking to be sure!!! How delicious!


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## ChicagoHeart (Jun 11, 2012)

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## ChicagoHeart (Jun 11, 2012)

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## jrajendra (Jul 19, 2012)

I agree with AveryT regarding losing the interest and glancing towards the last few paragraphs I really like the inner monolgue and wish I could incorporate that into my writing! But for some reason, my writing always turns out to be a 3rd person objective narrator with almost no emotion, so my attempt at writing humor becomes an observation. I blame my science background! Haha! I loved reading your work here.


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## jroland0482 (Jul 24, 2012)

Sorry no much critique from me because I very much enjoyed it


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## D Johnston (Sep 1, 2012)

I actually didn't find it too slow in the middle - the long, rambling paragraphs sound like a person daydreaming. And the interruptions with the drug ads were a nice touch. I agree with the others on one thing, though. Since it's being told from a first-person, real time perspective, it would be nice if we heard what was actually going on in the meeting. Just drop in the occasional line of corporate lingo to drive home the message. A description of what else is going on in the room might work, too - again, it really emphasizes that whole "I'm thinking about everything but what my boss is saying" feel.


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