# 01/16/09 - The Author



## Hawke (Jan 16, 2009)

Hello, Dear Writers, and welcome to the first LM of 2009! Your challenge this round is:

*The Author*
In 500 words or less, and in keeping with the rules and guidelines of WF, write (well, let's leave that open to your choice) in the style of Dr. Seuss. 

*Submissions may only be posted in this thread or in the thread provided in the* *Writers' Workshop* (you must provide a link to your submission in this thread if you opt to use the Writers' Workshop). Everyone is welcome to participate. Note: Judges are welcome to participate, but their entries cannot receive a score. 

Submissions will be accepted until midnight my time, Jan. 30th  (2 weeks)
Judging period: Jan 31st - Feb 6th
Results will be posted on or before Feb 7th

Good luck to everyone!

Your judges for this round are:
Katastrof
Raging Hopeful
Tiamat10
yours truly (me)


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## Raging_Hopeful (Jan 16, 2009)

OOOO!! I'm looking forward to judging this one!!


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## Hawke (Jan 16, 2009)

Me too!


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## Raging_Hopeful (Jan 23, 2009)

*gasp* What happens if no one submits? Can I judge the next one if it comes down to nixing this one???

*is very concerned*


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## garmar (Jan 24, 2009)

I love Dr. Seuss. Can't wait to submit an entry! Looks like I only have a few days to do it.


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## C.Gholy (Jan 24, 2009)

This entry is 222 words, not including the title. I wish other people would submit too, because I enjoy reading the entries and this challenge is fun. 
Peggy and her puppy named Wuppy 

I couldn't help thinking about it,
but I would love some grand strawberry pie. 
Food found in supermarkets were boring and bland, 
it makes my eating mood poor.
Pouring the wine, I whined to myself about my shopping spree yesterday:
accessories galore.
I found some fame in my community too.
My nickname is Shopping-Spree-Peggy. 
Lazy people also call me SSP. 
Twenty is a great age to browse through the pages of a story. 

My puppy, Wuppy hopping around me, 
made me feel happy. 
Fluffy white fur, 
which caused some awes to occur. 
She liked to dance
 in the hope of finding romance. 
She too young for that, 
but she won't get stung by heartache, 
I'll make sure of that. 
Walks the cute walk 
and woofs the cute woof, 
but don't be decided; 
I've received several bites from her before. 

I still care for her;
I just gave her huge scares.
I enjoy reading to my dog, 
although I'm not sure she understands me. 
If I compared my dog to a top model, 
that model shall surely struggle.  
The boyfriends I have, 
won't stop Wuppy being my best friend. 

I take her everywhere, 
from Tokyo to Angleterre. 
A good thing my Daddy is very rich,
and loves us both very much.
He's a top author and dedicates them all to me.

Perhaps you would like to come shopping with me and my puppy, Wuppy sometime?


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## Katastrof (Jan 27, 2009)

*No Green Eggs or Ham*

She stands in line for the bread,  
Twiddling her thumbs, rubbing her head,
  Trying to keep warm,
  Trying to keep form,
  As her babies sleep hungry in bed.

  It shifts as the day goes by,
  But no one moves or blinks an eye,
  When the snow starts to fall,
   When the breeze becomes a squall,
  Freezing their will in place,
  Heads slumped down without face.

  Like a millipede it advances by inches,
  Yet not one brown segment flinches,
  As the wind attacks their coats,
  As cold despair moves up their throats.
  A thousand legs with a single plight;
  How will I feed my family tonight?

  Icicles grow on their hearts,
  As the evening sun departs,
  And the worm of a line dies,
  Slowly withering in its demise,
  Breaking apart from the slice of a blade;
  A sign that reads: “Closed for the day”.

  So alone in the snow she treads,
  Back home is where she heads,
  To open the door,
  And to wish once more,
   That her babies weren’t hungry in bed.

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Ya I know, but that's all I got.


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## Raging_Hopeful (Jan 27, 2009)

Ferret One
Ferret Two
Ferret plays
Ferret poos

Paint can perched on the edge of the chair
Oh no ferrets, you don't dare!
But yes they do, they aim a hop
Knock the can and the top goes "POP"

On the carpet, on the cat
Now it's a BLUE cat in the hat!
Cat runs screaming down the hall
Ferrets give chase, having a ball

I stare blankly at the spilled "midnight shore"
Tiny blue pawprints mark the floor
Boxes upended, blankets all strewn
I sigh and quickly leave the room

When the roomies get home and start to shout
I claim I wasn't here, I had gone out.


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## Tiamat (Jan 29, 2009)

*Funny Bunny (311 words)*

[an]This was fun.  Those of you who didn't submit just suck.  That is all.[/an]
 Hi.
I am a bunny.
A funny bunny.

A funny bunny who has his merits,
For bunny or not, I don't like carrots.

You see...

Bunny hops I like to do
I like to run around the room and chew
On things that don't belong to me
Unless you give me celery

I don't like carrots or cucumbers
Or even juicy yamglumbers
No leafy greens or apple slices
Only a celery stick suffices

I hop
I flop
I plop
I bop
I run and play and eat nonstop

I won't eat carrots like the rest.
I've tried.
They simply don't digest.

Oh look, here comes my human now
With something in hand for me to chow
Crunchy and green, I think I see.
Oh please, let it be celery

Wiggle, wiggle
Sniffy sniff
Now that's a different kind of whiff

Here it comes
I have my doubts
Oh, no!
She gave me Brussels sprouts!

I can’t!
I won’t!
I couldn’t!
I don’t!

Hey, wait!  Don’t go!
Come back!  Hello?

Awww.

I am a bunny with a rumbly tummy.

Yucky.
Icky.
Eew.  Eew.  Eew.
I think I’d rather eat my poo.

But wait, what is that over there?
It might be tasty, I do declare.
I think I smell a wholesome vapor
Coming from that there newspaper.

Crunch, crunch.  Crunchy, crunch.
Rip.  Tear.  Shred.
Hmmmmm…
I think I’ll eat this instead.

Yes, I am a funny bunny.
Who doesn’t care for hay and honey
I’ll go for parsley
Less than sparsely
And as for kale
It won’t prevail

So take heed my little human friend
This is what I would recommend
If you should want your bunny’s affection
Don’t make him eat the business section


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## Raging_Hopeful (Jan 30, 2009)

Bollocks. The submission rate is pitiful!!


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## Raging_Hopeful (Jan 30, 2009)

Not that the submissions thus far aren't wonderful and making up for the lack of the rest! :-D


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## qwertyman (Jan 30, 2009)

Dr Who?


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## Foxee (Jan 30, 2009)

qwertyman said:


> Dr Who?


Wrong doctor!

Have ye no Google to go to?


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## qwertyman (Jan 30, 2009)

Er... excuse me that was my submission.


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## seigfried007 (Jan 30, 2009)

"Submission! Submission!" Qwertyman pouts
"Submission! Submission!" Platoon Leader insists
"Submission! Submission!" Copyeditor shouts
But it's against Dominatrix no one can resist!


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## velo (Jan 30, 2009)

What will be, after the end of me?
Vexing indeed, the thought
of an end to this me

Even when I wonder what will be, I see with eyes
born to me.

I cannot see without there being 
a me.
So how can there be an
end to me?

Who are you? “I am”, says he, “aware of me.
So I know what it is 
to be”

can you know what,can you 
think how then, it will be
when there is no more 'me?'

“No,” says he,
“for everything I have seen is 
part of  'me',' without me, 
there is no you!”

No me?  “No”  
But I am me! 
“No, I am me”

And yet we are still we.
Each thing we see we see
as part of, and through, me.
But your me is not me.
Who are we?  

What will be? Who will see? When there is 
no more me? 
No more we?  Even we will cease to be

You and me?
Or is it
you and me?

Is there me when I end?
Does my question portend
that there is no end? That me will always be me?

Or is this thing I see,
in mirrors and bright glass,
face and skin, all that is?
Nothing but mortal flesh, doomed to end?  

Do not know.
Can not see.  
What will be
when there is no more me.
Yet for now, this is me.
What wonders will I see.....


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## JosephB (Jan 30, 2009)

*The Flumax *

“Tim and Sue!” the mother said.
“It’s time for you to spring from bed!”
“Why should we?” cried both Tim and Sue,
“When there’s not a thing for us to do!”

Mom crossed her arms. She shook her head.
“Now, Tim and Sue, get out of bed!
I’m going out, I’ve things to do.
Now I mean business, Tim and Sue.

Behave, you two, when I’m in town,
or that Flumax might just come around!
If you do things you shouldn’t do,
the Flumax knows it, Tim and Sue.”

As usual, their mom was drugged,
so Tim and Sue just smiled and shrugged.
“There is no Flumax, oh, no way.”
And so they went about their day.

“What should we do?” They couldn’t choose.
“Why don't we drink some of Dad's booze?”
“What should we drink that doesn’t stink?"
“Scotch doesn’t stink, it makes you think.”

Sue said. “That’s good! The best I’ve tasted.”
“That's all,” Tim said, “We might get wasted.”
"Lets find Mom’s pot. She smokes a lot.
Let’s see just how much pot she’s got.”

Tim rolled one up, and took a hit.
He coughed and said, “Now, that’s good shit!”
Tim gladly passed the joint to Sue.
She took a hit and got high too.

Then they heard a terrible sound,
a noise so loud, it shook the ground.
They heard a laugh, they heard a yell,
Tim and Sue said, “What the hell?”

“The Flumax?” asked both Tim and Sue.
They didn’t know what they should do.
Should they hide? Should they run?
“Oh, just when we were having fun!”

They heard his horrible Flumax call,
and then he walked right through the wall.
“Now listen here, both Tim and Sue,
Do you know what I’m here to do?

When kids are bad, it makes me mad
When they behave, it makes me glad.
It’s too late now, that's how I feel.
You’ll make a tasty Flumax meal!”

Tim thought, “I’d like to stay alive!”
He knew Dad had a forty-five.
“Before you eat us, have drink!”
And that gave Tim some time to think.

He said, “Here Flumax, have a scotch."
Then Tim kicked him in the crotch.
He yelled at Sue, “Go grab dad’s gun!
Oh, Flumax, you can’t spoil our fun.”

Sue said, “Now Flumax, make my day!
I’ll blow your Flumax ass away.
We’ll let you go. We’ll let you run,
and we’ll go back to having fun.”

The Flumax ran right out the door,
then they heard the Flumax roar,
“I let you win, I cut you slack,
but understand that I’ll be back.”

“We don’t care,” said Tim and Sue.
“We’ll know exactly what to do.”
Tim just laughed and cracked a beer.
“We’ll have fun without the Flumax here.

When Mom goes out to meet a john,
We’ll do what we want when she is gone.
The same when Dad is scoring crack,
I think that Flumax won’t be back.”


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## Raging_Hopeful (Jan 30, 2009)

So... since there are only a few submissions I'm assuming only one winner?


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## eggo (Jan 30, 2009)

My entry,

Killing Time


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## Katastrof (Feb 1, 2009)

This should probably be locked again, because Hawke's last post was lost.


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## Hawke (Feb 1, 2009)

*** Locked again ***

Thanks, Katastroff.


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