# Rsearching the Emotions/Psychology Involved in a Boy Growing to Adolescent to Adult



## BelovedDoll (Dec 30, 2010)

I`m working on a story in which involves a deity that has been trapped in a human (male) body and is developing human emotions. I would imagine human emotions may be a struggle for him to get a grasp of at first and trying to figure out what was going on, so I envisioned that a stage like a boy going through adolescence would be the best scenario.

Problem is, being a girl, I don`t really know much about what goes on in a guy`s head. To add to the difficulty, apparently talking about what goes on internally and emotions is a difficult subject for guys. But despite the challenge, I still want to look into it. I need to know how things are for a guy dealing with new changes and how he handles things during that confusing/crazy time. I want to be sure that I can accurately portray these struggles and such for this character, I don`t want to misrepresent.

If you feel uncomfortable saying out in the public, you can always pm me. I don`t need any personal information so you needn`t give me any. (You can changes names of people to protect their id if you want.) Though giving me a smuch detail about the experiences you had while going through puberty would be great. Below I have some questions to start off with, but I may ask additional questions to you. Remember these are asking about your personal experiences and observations. I`ve already read up on the general stuff online so I`m looking for specifics so that I can get a full understanding of what`s going on.

It`s ok if you are a full-grown adult or still a teen.  I`ll take input from either group. It is also ok to share anything you may feel were "crazy" (like if you did any wrist-slitting). I`m looking to learn all the different aspects concerning this time of your life and what effects it had on you. You also don`t have to answer every single question if you don`t want to, you can answer only some of them if you wish.

I apologize in advance if it seems like my questions are jumping around.

1. Before puberty hit you, what sort of a personality were you as a child? (Ie, shy, outgoing, difficult for your parents to try and feed you, had a lot of friends, etc.)

2. As puberty started for you, how did the interaction change between you and your friends (if any changes took place)? Like what activities changed, any attitudes about your friends, did you become more competitive with them, etc.

3. How did your attitude towards girls change? Was this change gradual or was it "over night"?

4. Were you raised/influenced to not show emotions because of you being a boy? If so, what sources influenced you (father, tv, friends, etc)? Were any of these sources the main influence or were they pretty much even with one another in more influence they had on you in showing emotions?

5. What emotions were socially acceptible for you, as a guy, to show?

6. Did you experience any frustration about anything that you (now) see as puberty-specific? If so, what were they? (Ie, frustration about there being so many changes with your body, changes with your thoughts/feelings, changes that were going on with other people, etc.)

7. Did any fear arise during puberty? If so, what fears were you experiencing?

8. How did you cope with or deal with the above frustrations/fears?

9. Did you get involved in a lot of fights? Please specify as to whether the fights remained nothing more than verbal or if they got physical. If you had both verbal-only and physical type of fights, which type had the most frequency? (Ie, did you have more verbal fights than physical fights.) Also, if you were involved in fights, what was the average of the frequency that you were in them? Were you the one that threw the first punch or was it usually the other guy who usually punched first? (Feel free to share any additional information in regarding to these fights if you want to, such as who usually won the fights, whether or not the fights you were in had to be broken up by somebody else, if any fights resulted in anyone needing a doctor, what started the fights, where did the fights take place, were your opponents usually friends or non-friends, what was going through your head as you fought your opponent, was there any resolve to the problem that resulted the fight, did you want to fight or were you brought into it either by force or by thinking there was no other way, etc.)

10. Did you have any concerns for your appearance? If so, which gender of your peers were you the most concerned with how they perceived your appearance? (Ie, were you more worried about how girls thought of how you look.)

11. How important were girls to you? How did you view them? Were you willing to do anything to get their attention? If so, what were some things you did to try and attract them? Were you wanting just any girl or were there "standards" a girl had to have for you to want to pursue her? If so, what were these "standards"? What made you want the girl in the first place (ie, what attracted you to her)?

12. What were your attitudes towards authority? (Any kind of authority, such as tecahers, parents, police officers, elder sibling, etc.)

13. Were you bothered by any of the changes that were occurring with your body? (If you already talked about this in a previous question, feel free to skip this one.)

14. Were you involved in any "pecking order"? If so, how was your "rank" decided upon among your peers?

15. Were you picked on? If so, was it usually by guys or girls? Do you remember what they were picking on you about?

16. How much anger were you feeling/expressing during puberty? Did you have any seemingly uncontrollable outbursts? If so, what caused these outbursts? What were you thinking or feeling about the outburst after it took place? How did you handle your anger? How were other people (your friends, family, girlfriend, teachers, etc) handling your anger?

17. What were your thoughts on other guys? Was there any difference in how you thought about your friends vs guys who weren`t your friends (maybe not enemies per say but just guys who were only acquaintances or strangers)? If you felt any kind of negative emotion/thought towards these guys, what caused you to think that way? How did  you react to those negative thoughts?

18. If you and another guy both wanted the same girl, how was it handled? Did it change what action took place if your rival was your friend vs a non-friend? Did it change what action took place if the girl favoured either one of you or if she was neutral to the both of you (ie, maybe she either just didn`t know either very well or maybe she was friends with both of you, any circumstance on the girl`s part that would suggest that both of you would have equal chance of getting with her)?

19. What were your first/early thoughts/attitudes about sex? What thoughts/feelings were in your head as you willingly participated in your first sex act? (Ie, were you excited or nervous about it, if so, why, what about, etc.)

20. What were most of the interactions with girls like? If you had said or did something that upset a girl and made her cry, what was your typical reaction/thought process?

21. If you had a girlfriend, what was your general attitude towards her friends and family? (Feel free to speak about the different girlfriends if you had more than one.)

22. If there was anything about a guy going through puberty that you wish people would understand or know about, what would it be? What would be the lesson about male puberty that you would teach to people? Would there be anything about how people raise/treat teen/puberty boys that you`d like to see change as to be a benefit to the growing young guy?

23. If you had the chance to go back in time and meet your teen self, would there be anything you would tell your younger self about puberty? Would there be anything you`d try to change that you said or did during that time?


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## KrisMunro (Dec 30, 2010)

1. Before puberty hit you, what sort of a personality were you as a child? (Ie, shy, outgoing, difficult for your parents to try and feed you, had a lot of friends, etc.)
I was outgoing, a little terror. I got into all manner of shady situations, but rarely ever got caught. I had a close ground of friends, and even they didn't know much about my hidden life. I grew up in a life where I had to be good a separating parts of my life out, depending on who I was with. "I can do *this* with these people, *that* with those ones, and *something else* with family." These lines rarely ever crossed over. I think my little rebellions were part of me not liking the lines that were drawn.

Dad left when I was fairly young, and mum had to work late to support us (brother and me). For some years, we looked after ourselfs; got to school, came home, organised dinner (usually take out), and spent a lot of time running about the streets getting into mischief. I had a particular knack with playing with fire and explosives. We made a small cannon that could shoot flaming balls into the night sky; they went really high. We were never destructive and never started fires just to see things burn. 

Mum sent us off to boarding school for high school. It was a co-ed school, and while the mischief continued, it was in different areas. I came out of school squeaky clean with good morals and ethics. Never lied or stole anything since.. mind, we occasionally did silly things like using neighborhood pools at night while we were drunk. Harmless fun. 

2. As puberty started for you, how did the interaction change between you and your friends (if any changes took place)? Like what activities changed, any attitudes about your friends, did you become more competitive with them, etc.
I went from being confident to shy. Suddenly having a vested interest in girls, talking to them could produce a good or bad outcome; all revolving around whether they liked me. Being disliked by females became something of a fear, resulting in me being uncomfortable around them (or at least the ones I liked).

While at boarding school, I had a couple of girlfriends, but nothing really worked out. We had our late night parties in each others units (which was punishable by expulsion), but the group dynamic usually prevented me from making any moves. Talking with them was bad enough, but doing it in a group.. wasn't going to happen.

One time, during a gathering in our own flat (just the guys), we had a teacher catch us. We thought we'd be done for. There was beer and drugs laying about the place. It was the only time that a teacher walked in when I was at one of these gatherings. Chance had it that he simply asked for a beer and sat down with us for a quick drink. He never mentioned the drugs, or whether he noticed our efforts at hiding them. 

Also, suddenly other males became something of a support and a threat with relation to finding a girlfriend. You needed them with you when you were out and about, but there was the added risk that the girl would talk to me to ask about my friend. Mind, it happened the other way too (the girl talking to the friend to ask about me).

3. How did your attitude towards girls change? Was this change gradual or was it "over night"?
Overnight. I was 17 when I found a girl forthright enough to take from me what she wanted. Sex became 'just another thing' very quickly. Chance had it that she was bi-sexual, and when you throw threesomes into the mix, your views on others change. I was with her for two years, and ended it when I found out she was cheating on me. My next two girlfriends were also bi-sexual.. the second lasted another two years. At one point we had a three-person-relationship, lasting several months.

This time allowed me to see that girls wanted sex just as much as males. So the fear that the girl wont like me, wasn't really something to worry about. If one person wasn't interested, it wasn't really about me, there were other things going on that prevented the relationship. I also found value in female friends again. Once sex isn't on the cards, you can talk with them much easier; not saying that sex was the main issue, only that without the thing hanging behind the scenes, the conversations became interesting rather than tinged with other options. 
 

4. Were you raised/influenced to not show emotions because of you being a boy? If so, what sources influenced you (father, tv, friends, etc)? Were any of these sources the main influence or were they pretty much even with one another in more influence they had on you in showing emotions?
Hard to answer this.. my responses here aren't going to be relevant to your story. I had an upbringing where my close family could readily see my emotions, so I had no concept of a need to hide them.

5. What emotions were socially acceptible for you, as a guy, to show?
As a kid, all of them. It was only when friends commented on how 'crying is for babies' or 'you said you love your mum, haha' that I became more reserved about somethings. I didn't really get why it was a problem at the time. Even now, I think those people were wrong in putting barriers on others emotions/feelings.

As a teenager, I didn't cry anymore. Physical pain just hurt; didn't produce wails from me anymore. Crying from emotional pain was done in private, and you kept it under wraps unless you were with one or two very close friends. You couldn't 'love' anything except cars, women (in general), surfing, drugs, etc, etc. Love directed towards a specific person was taboo; mostly because of other people being uncomfortable seeing the display.

As a man, all these blocks come down. It's now fine to tell your mum, your wife, your best mate that you love them. No one is going to say anything about it.. or they'd get someone shouting back or punching them. "Don't you ever tell me I can't tell my mum I love her!!" I still don't cry from physical pain.. in fact, physical pain even hurts less now. It can be blocked out to some extent. Emotional pain is still handled more or less in private, but people don't comment negatively if they see a grown man cry. Even kids who ridicule their mates for crying wont usually do the same to a man that cries... maybe because it must be something bad to produce the reaction. 

6. Did you experience any frustration about anything that you (now) see as puberty-specific? If so, what were they? (Ie, frustration about there being so many changes with your body, changes with your thoughts/feelings, changes that were going on with other people, etc.)
Nothing emotional.. I handled everything without really realising it was happening. The physical changes weren't so easy. And almost entirely due to acne.. which I still get near two decades later. It was this that made me particularly insecure around females. If I eat properly, I'll have perfectly clean clear skin, but throw in some coke, chips, and some junk food, and I get a few small spots. Back when I was a kid, and lived on junk food, my face was pretty bad at times (not nearly as bad as some people I've seen). Usually, there were only a few spots, but this was enough to frustrate me. I wish I'd known about the diet thing back then.

Looking back, the acne wasn't really that bad. But my perception of it made all the difference. I was still able to get girlfriends, and be considered somewhat attractive by others. 

7. Did any fear arise during puberty? If so, what fears were you experiencing?
Everyone fears that they've got a small.. ahem 'ego'. Until a female offers comfort, they really just don't know whether they've got what it takes to keep a woman happy. There was also a small fear that I'd go through puberty late. Not much else bothered me. I took it in stride.

8. How did you cope with or deal with the above frustrations/fears?
I didn't have any coping mechanism.. just took each day as it came. 

9. Did you get involved in a lot of fights? Please specify as to whether the fights remained nothing more than verbal or if they got physical. 
Rarely got into fights. I was one of those kids that got along with nearly everyone. The fights I did get into were on the streets with strangers. I never threw a punch.. usually because I was outnumbered or the others had weapons. I've been in some gang fights, along with riots against the police.. none of which I'd intended to be in, nor actively participated in. They're more a sign of the people I hung out with.

I did punch my brother once; the only real punch I've thrown. He used to bully me regularly. After many years of the abuse, I finally lost it. Rather than breaking things to show my frustration, I (warned him first, then) launched a punch into his jaw that knocked him on his ass. His friend jumped up to defend my brother, so I smacked him too. I walked out of there terrified that both of them would come running out to beat the living piss out of me. They didn't. It was also the last time my brother picked on me. 

10. Did you have any concerns for your appearance? If so, which gender of your peers were you the most concerned with how they perceived your appearance? (Ie, were you more worried about how girls thought of how you look.)
Aside from acne, I never gave it much thought. I dressed fairly nicely, but mostly casually. I always wore aftershave (per advice from one of my female friends), and I still put some on when I go out, despite being married. I was concerned about how females would see me, but always relied on my male friends to dictate what was appropriate; I'm largely fashion illiterate. If they told me to wear a half tucked in collared shirt to a night club, that's what I wore. 

11. How important were girls to you? How did you view them? Were you willing to do anything to get their attention? If so, what were some things you did to try and attract them? Were you wanting just any girl or were there "standards" a girl had to have for you to want to pursue her? If so, what were these "standards"? What made you want the girl in the first place (ie, what attracted you to her)?
Initially, girls occupied much of my thoughts. I'd do most things to get their attention, except things like hard drugs, dance, or strip in public... if girls wanted that, they weren't for me. The girls appearance mattered a lot to me as a teenager. I always ended up with beautiful females, and turned down several not so attractive ones. I couldn't say what attracted me to them.. or I could say, face, smile, breasts, thin waist, smaller than me.. but at the end of the day, a great many combinations of these things are what I find attractive. As a kid, I loved larger breasts, when I got my third lasting girlfriend, she had the smallest breasts I'd laid hands on.. and I now love small breasts.

The length of the intended relationship also affects my willingness to be with a girl. If it's just a casual thing, I wont be so picky about appearances. If it's for a long term thing, I'm wanting something I find more attractive; keeping in mind that there's more than just physical attraction.

Most of my relationships have started as one night stands. Something during that period caused them to want to stick around, and then eventually become a partner. I was a little cocky about this.. if I could get a girl I wanted a relationship with into bed, I knew I could get her to stick around. 

12. What were your attitudes towards authority? (Any kind of authority, such as tecahers, parents, police officers, elder sibling, etc.)
As a kid, I didn't really relate to them as people. They were this other 'thing' that could tell me what to do, even if they were wrong. As a kid being able to see auras, I made some comments to my early teachers about how they looked. A few parent teacher meetings later, I learnt that these authority figures were often stupid and wrong, and I was the one who had to change my behaviour because of it. I see politicians, police, lawyers, etc as much the same. They cannot see the whole picture, and the rules they enforce are often counter productive.

13. Were you bothered by any of the changes that were occurring with your body? (If you already talked about this in a previous question, feel free to skip this one.)
Everything happened before I really noticed. I remember at boarding school, I was in the shower and a bunch of older boys flung the curtains over. They looked down, shrugged, and moved to the next shower in line (another year 8 student was in there). The curtain flung aside and they shouted disparities about how his balls hadn't dropped yet. I didn't even know what they meant.. never knew my balls had dropped, or that they were different before.

Everything from hair growing through to my voice changing happened without notice. I think I remember one person saying "Hey, your voice is different", but as I rarely spoke to him, I figured it was just his poor memory. 

14. Were you involved in any "pecking order"? If so, how was your "rank" decided upon among your peers?
I was in the middle. Not popular because I didn't try. Yet not unpopular.. I never really cared for anything like this, so I just made friends with people who accepted me as I was (or at least how I was comfortable showing myself).

15. Were you picked on? If so, was it usually by guys or girls? Do you remember what they were picking on you about?
Rarely. The first six months at boarding school were terrible. But a couple of year 12s took an interest in my welfare. Overnight, everyone stopped being mean to me.. and I never knew what they did to have this happen, or what I did to have them intervene. Of course, there was the occasional dispute or insult around school, but for the most part nothing went wrong.

16. How much anger were you feeling/expressing during puberty? Did you have any seemingly uncontrollable outbursts? If so, what caused these outbursts? What were you thinking or feeling about the outburst after it took place? How did you handle your anger? How were other people (your friends, family, girlfriend, teachers, etc) handling your anger?
No outbursts.. I've got some great control over my emotions. But I still get angry when I remember how my brother used to treat me. He's forgotten much of it, or at least he didn't see it as being as bad as I did.

17. What were your thoughts on other guys? Was there any difference in how you thought about your friends vs guys who weren`t your friends (maybe not enemies per say but just guys who were only acquaintances or strangers)? If you felt any kind of negative emotion/thought towards these guys, what caused you to think that way? How did  you react to those negative thoughts?
Guys were just mates. I was pretty picky about who I was friends with, and because of this, I had some strong ties with a select few friends. I don't see any of them anymore, but I'd still do anything to help them if they asked.

18. If you and another guy both wanted the same girl, how was it handled? Did it change what action took place if your rival was your friend vs a non-friend? Did it change what action took place if the girl favoured either one of you or if she was neutral to the both of you (ie, maybe she either just didn`t know either very well or maybe she was friends with both of you, any circumstance on the girl`s part that would suggest that both of you would have equal chance of getting with her)?
This happened fairly often.. sadly. Usually, the girl decided.. and sometimes it was 'neither'. And that helped settle any disputes between the mates. We honestly thought that she's 'just have to' take one of us, and that would settle things.

Me, my first girlfriend, and a mate went to another friends house for some drinks. The idea was for my mate to hook up with the friend. It would have kept everyone happy. My girlfriend decided that she'd have me and her friend, leaving my mate alone. Who was I to argue..
 
My mate was pretty upset about it. He did burnouts on my driveway as he left. The next day, we apologised to each other, him agreeing that he'd not have declined if the offer was made to him. Guys have a way of getting over their differences pretty quickly.

19. What were your first/early thoughts/attitudes about sex? What thoughts/feelings were in your head as you willingly participated in your first sex act? (Ie, were you excited or nervous about it, if so, why, what about, etc.)
I'm not sure I remember this far back... I would have been very young when I saw my first dirty magazine. Sex was mostly a foreign concept that slowly took form into something accurate. 

The first time I had sex, I didn't really have sex.. I was too nervous. Luckily, my partner thought it was sweet, and we tried a couple more times before getting the act done. Seeing her naked was more intimidating than awe inspiring. Guys have to perform during sex.. and girls, by nature, avoid this pressure. The buildup to the event was nerve-wracking for me. If she'd sprung the event on me, it might have been better.. or it might have been worse. 

20. What were most of the interactions with girls like? If you had said or did something that upset a girl and made her cry, what was your typical reaction/thought process?
I always hated upsetting females. Still do. So I rarely upset them.. but occasionally I'd say something that was taken the wrong way. If she got upset, I used to apologise and walk away.. I couldn't handle it. 

21. If you had a girlfriend, what was your general attitude towards her friends and family? (Feel free to speak about the different girlfriends if you had more than one.)
At boarding school, her friends were already my friends, so it wasn't anything to worry about. I never met their families. Actually, pretty much all of my relationships were with people already connected to my group of friends. You know, you get introduced to someone new.. and you hit it off. 

22. If there was anything about a guy going through puberty that you wish people would understand or know about, what would it be? What would be the lesson about male puberty that you would teach to people? Would there be anything about how people raise/treat teen/puberty boys that you`d like to see change as to be a benefit to the growing young guy?
I had this so easy I've not got any concerns.. if I had to say something, it would be about how strongly guys feel the need to have sex. Much like females do.. but guys are more forward in their efforts.

23. If you had the chance to go back in time and meet your teen self, would there be anything you would tell your younger self about puberty? Would there be anything you`d try to change that you said or did during that time?
"Don't say 'no' to Diane...". "Buy shares in Microsoft"


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## Guy Faukes (Jan 6, 2011)

Holy sweet mother of... I'm a guy trying to figure out a girls mind. And I understand the guy's mind quite well. 
Wanna exchange notes?


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## Guy Faukes (Jan 6, 2011)

Before I start off, a good book to read on this subject is “The Boy Code” by William Pollack. I read “Reviving Ophelia”, and I can tell you that reading material specific to another gender is not be easily accessible since we aren’t that gender, but it can still offer insights i.e. I can logically understand both sides, but the emotions girls go through/are compelled by are hard for me to access. 

1., 2 & 6. Before puberty hit you, what sort of a personality were you as a child? (Ie, shy, outgoing, difficult for your parents to try and feed you, had a lot of friends, etc.)
I was reclusive before and after, being an outsider looking in. With puberty came the “guy code” and we all get a sense on how we should behave (more traditionally masculine) 
3. How did your attitude towards girls change? Was this change gradual or was it "over night"?
It changed during puberty in the sense that I thought that I should really start pursuing girlfriend, especially when that fear that “if you’re not with a girl, you might be gay” started creeping in. Homophobia and the traditional male view go hand and hand. I started awkwardly asking a few out, and being a clumsy teenager, didn’t work too well.
4. & 5. What emotions were socially acceptible for you, as a guy, to show?
Anger and apathy are the acceptable emotions for a guy to show. We feel the rest, don’t get me wrong, but we usually have to suppress them or use anger as the outlet for them.  Shame, especially in high school, is the tool to prod guys who forget that rule.
7. Did any fear arise during puberty? If so, what fears were you experiencing?
Fear of rejection, shame and loss of face were all major fears.
8. How did you cope with or deal with the above frustrations/fears?
Just apply yourself harder to the “Boy Code”, act cool and aloof, suppress your fears and emotions and act tough. For some of us, we maintained a degree of individuality and inner understanding. Still, fear and frustrations are part of a lot of guys’ life growing up.
9. Did you get involved in a lot of fights? Please specify as to whether the fights remained nothing more than verbal or if they got physical. 
Not really. The myth is that testosterone makes men more violently aggressive. It might make us more competitive, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we’re more prone to rage and fighting. What makes men more aggressive is probably social conditioning. Look at male role models in the media... yesh, we’ve got to live up to that.
10. Did you have any concerns for your appearance? If so, which gender of your peers were you the most concerned with how they perceived your appearance? (Ie, were you more worried about how girls thought of how you look.)
Definitely. You don’t want to look/dress effeminately otherwise you get picked on, and you want to attract the girls. You also don’t want to 
11. How important were girls to you? How did you view them? Were you willing to do anything to get their attention? If so, what were some things you did to try and attract them? Were you wanting just any girl or were there "standards" a girl had to have for you to want to pursue her? If so, what were these "standards"? What made you want the girl in the first place (ie, what attracted you to her)?
I was/am a good guy. When I hit puberty and started pursuing them, I thought being nice, accommodating, helpful, going in with roses and poetry all that jazz is what attracts/keeps them. Being older, I know there’s more to it. 
12. What were your attitudes towards authority? (Any kind of authority, such as tecahers, parents, police officers, elder sibling, etc.)
Obedient. I was an oddly logical little guy and thought it was counter productive to be a little jerkwad to people that were reasonable to me, even if they were authority. 
14. Were you involved in any "pecking order"? If so, how was your "rank" decided upon among your peers?
Ahh yes, pecking orders. In high school, you always get the self-assigned elites, with guys, it’s no different. Luckily, I went to a pretty decent high school, so rank didn’t matter too much. I hung out with the ‘normal’ group that was in between all the other groups (if you could call them that). 
15. Were you picked on? If so, was it usually by guys or girls? Do you remember what they were picking on you about?
I was in elementary school. Usually by guys through that pecking order on how I dressed and behaved (lacked understanding of how people perceived me as being important… wish I kept that). High school, not so much, had weeks without incidents. 
16. How much anger were you feeling/expressing during puberty? Did you have any seemingly uncontrollable outbursts? If so, what caused these outbursts? What were you thinking or feeling about the outburst after it took place? How did you handle your anger? How were other people (your friends, family, girlfriend, teachers, etc) handling your anger?
I have anger issues up to today. Guys probably feel angry at themselves for not measuring up to the emotionless, rough and tough masculine standard completely. Being unable to express and sometimes not being able to understand those emotions exacerbates the problem even more. I bottle/d up my anger and had a hard time venting properly. 
17. What were your thoughts on other guys? Was there any difference in how you thought about your friends vs guys who weren`t your friends (maybe not enemies per say but just guys who were only acquaintances or strangers)? If you felt any kind of negative emotion/thought towards these guys, what caused you to think that way? How did you react to those negative thoughts?
If they were friends, whatever. Seriously. Cool to have them around and chill.
If they weren’t friends, they were probably that for a reason. We just avoid thinking or interacting with these people.
Strangers warrant a certain degree of caution, but if they have anything in common with us “come on, let’s talk and play!”
18. If you and another guy both wanted the same girl, how was it handled? Did it change what action took place if your rival was your friend vs a non-friend? Did it change what action took place if the girl favoured either one of you or if she was neutral to the both of you (ie, maybe she either just didn`t know either very well or maybe she was friends with both of you, any circumstance on the girl`s part that would suggest that both of you would have equal chance of getting with her)?
I was pretty aloof in one sense or another. Usually I just let the other guy have her and brushed off any feelings she had towards me. I had intimacy issues, so it was a good way of distancing myself. Unfortunately, girls like guys who don’t try, it eliminates that desperate smell off us so unfortunately, they were still attracted to me.
19. What were your first/early thoughts/attitudes about sex? What thoughts/feelings were in your head as you willingly participated in your first sex act? (Ie, were you excited or nervous about it, if so, why, what about, etc.)
Seriously, it’s just like an overwhelming desire, a craving, like a fire that desperately needs to be put out. I lost my virginity during a party with lots of alcohol. Being the prude I was, that was probably the only way I could do it. My thoughts were chaotic and… alcohol soaked… but you do get this sense of self-actualization by losing your virginity and taking that step to “becoming a man”. 
20. What were most of the interactions with girls like? If you had said or did something that upset a girl and made her cry, what was your typical reaction/thought process?
I was aloof with intimacy issues with girls, but I still had a heart. I tried to make it up to her one way or another, or genuinely show her that I didn’t mean it. 
21. If you had a girlfriend, what was your general attitude towards her friends and family? (Feel free to speak about the different girlfriends if you had more than one.)
You should really remember that at a young age, the overwhelming desire for guys is just to get tail or action in one form or another. Heck, some guys even don’t leave this stage. 
If her friends and family didn’t get in the way of our relationship, that was fine. 
22. If there was anything about a guy going through puberty that you wish people would understand or know about, what would it be? What would be the lesson about male puberty that you would teach to people? Would there be anything about how people raise/treat teen/puberty boys that you`d like to see change as to be a benefit to the growing young guy?
I would issue “the Boy Code” to every man, woman and child out there, force them to read it and get the guys together and have them discuss it in comfortable manner. That book has a lot of useful information and some good answers to problems facing guys.
23. If you had the chance to go back in time and meet your teen self, would there be anything you would tell your younger self about puberty? Would there be anything you`d try to change that you said or did during that time?
There would be a lot I would tell him. But that would take up a lot of space. Honestly, I would tell him to not worry about what people think and just do more things. Learning things when you’re kid makes it a lot easier later on, hehe.

Do you mind filling out this questionnaire on my thread as a female?


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