# Hello from Mississippi



## Primal (Mar 28, 2014)

I'm Robb, from the Mississippi Gulf Coast.  I'm here to in an attempt to regain my excitement and drive for writing.  When I was younger I wrote constantly, doing my best to keep up with the ideas filling my head.  This continued into my adult life, with me consistently putting out page after page daily.  I didn't write to be famous, or to make money.  I wrote because it was the one thing in my life that never failed to bring me joy.  If I had a bad day at work, I could sit down at the typewriter or computer and it all went away.  Putting all those people in my head onto paper did more good than any drug or alcohol.  When I had a day off, I rarely left my desk.

 This continued up until Hurricane Katrina.  Like most people, we ran.  We were limited on space, so we took the absolutes:  Ourselves, pets, clothing, medical records, etc.  We expected to be back home and back to everyday life within a week.  That didn't happen.  A couple of weeks later, we came back to find nothing:  The house was gone, along with everything that made it _ours._  We lost our home, our jobs, friends, irreplaceable photographs and so much more.  The thing that hurt the most for me, however, was seeing my filing cabinet sideways in the mud, everything inside destroyed.  Everything I wrote as a child, every idea I put down, every image that had sparked an idea - All of it was gone.  It hurt, but I didn't realize just how much until later.

 We went to Texas for a few months, and the timing couldn't have been better:  I found NaNoWriMo just in time to take part for the first time, and I succeeded in completing my novel!  I felt even more driven to write, to get it all out, to give a voice to all those worlds in my head.  Two days before the deadline I finished my novel, posted my word count, and went to bed feeling like myself again for the first time since the storm.

 I woke up the next morning ready to do it all again.  I sat down at my desk, took a sip of my drink, and nothing.  The ideas were still there, the mobs of people where still fighting for my attention, still begging me to give them a voice.  I was ready to do just that.  I had no doubt that I could do that.  

 The moment my fingers touched the keyboard, there was nothing.  I just couldn't find the words anymore.  

 That has been the case ever since.  The ideas are still there, even more than before, but they just don't seem to survive the voyage from my brain to my fingers.  No matter how excited I get about an idea, it just fizzles when I try to put it down.

 I used to lose myself in the story as I wrote it.  I used to feel a sense of exhilaration when my fingers touched the keyboard and began to move as if they had a life of their own.  I used to get lost in the act of creation to the point that I had to force myself to stop.

 I miss that.  I want that back.  It is my hope that by reading your stories and interacting with you all here that I might find it again.  I want nothing more than to sit at my desk and WRITE, rather than getting up hours later feeling dejected and lost.  I want to feel like a writer again.

 That's why I'm here.

 Anyway... It's nice to meet you all.  I look forward to getting to know you.


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## Pluralized (Mar 28, 2014)

Welcome, Robb. You've come to the right place, my friend. Thanks for sharing your story - you obviously write pretty well!

Dig in, there is a lot to see here. See you in the Literary Maneuvers, I hope. 

Plur


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## PiP (Mar 29, 2014)

Hello, Rob  Welcome to our creative community - we are a friendly group so when you are needr support just shout

Thank you for sharing your story; it sounds like you've had a pretty tough time.

If you are looking for inspiration, deadlines and a reason to write why not enter our monthly Prose Challenges? They are great fun and help to keep you focussed. 

What's happening with your NaNoWriMo novel?

PiP


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## Ixarku (Mar 29, 2014)

@Primal/Robb:  That's rough, man.  I'm from Florida, so when storms like Katrina hit, we tend to pay attention.  I think it was the year before Katrina when we had 4 storms hit the state at different times.  I count myself lucky that the worst I had to deal with then was a power outage for a few days.  You guys on the Gulf coast had it much worse than most of us.

Dig in, and whatever you do, don't lose hope.  You can't regain lost material things, but you can regain what you once were.  The worse feeling in the world doesn't come from failure, it comes from giving up.


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## Primal (Mar 29, 2014)

@Plur:  I appreciate the compliment.  I don't always have that confidence in my writing, but that's never stopped me before:  It was always enough for me that I was writing.  I refuse to let myself be slowed down by grammar and structure as those could always be fixed after the fact.  I'd rather just let it all flow out and do damage control afterwards.  

I will absolutely be digging in and will certainly be seeing you.  I've been browsing a bit and have noticed that you seem to be everywhere.  I have no doubt we'll run into each other more than a few times here.

@PiP:  It does seem to be a friendly place.  Hopefully I can make some worthwhile contribution to that.  It seemed rough at the time, but less so now:  I've always felt that how bad a situation is depends on the person, and each person has their own idea of what's "too much"  What seems unbearable to one person is just another thing to the next.  I see people go through things that that would wreck me, yet they push through it with head held high and a smile on their face.  They may look at me or another and think the same thing.  It's all a matter of personal perspective, I suppose.

I will check out the Prose Challenges.  Thank you for the suggestion!

As for my NaNoWriMo novel... It sits on my hard drive, waiting for me to return to it.  I have always, when I finished writing something, put it away to age.  After I have forgotten about it for a while, I go back to read it again with a fresh eye and make changes or notes before putting it back in storage.  I'll repeat this process until I feel like it's done.  I figure if letting it age improves wine, it's worth at least a try with my writing.  I'll be pulling it out again soon for a reading.

@Ixarku:  As I said above, it seemed very rough at the time.  As you deal with those storms yourself, I'm sure you know how easy it is to let yourself relax after a few seasons of false alarms.  I'm afraid that is what got us with Katrina:  Several of the previous hurricanes just didn't deliver the horrors they promised at the start, and we got used to that.  I won't make that mistake again.  LOL

I think I did give up for a little while after the storm.  Doing NaNoWriMo gave me a much needed purge, something to help me deal with everything I was feeling and going through, but once that was done I simply shut down that part of myself.  Now that I'm missing it and want it back, finding the something I need to jumpstart it again is proving difficult.

That's a big part of the reason I'm here.  I can give up and feel disgusted with myself for doing so, or I can keep at it until I find what I lost.  Even if I don't find it, I may find another way.  I may not, but at least I'll have given it my best.


Thank you for your replies.  I think you are right, Plur:  I'm _exactly_ where I need to be.


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## Pandora (Mar 30, 2014)

Robb, trauma will do that to a person. You will write and you will cry and purge it all out. There are many hearts here, good people who care, good to find.
I'm glad you joined WF, welcome.


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## Primal (Apr 5, 2014)

Thank you, Pandora.  I've been exploring and believe that you are right about the people here.  I'm looking forward to my time here.


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## Pandora (Apr 5, 2014)

You are welcome Robb. I remember feeling a little overwhelmed by all that is here when I joined on, so much good reading and learning to do. I'm still discovering
and enjoy every day I'm here. That feels really good. I am glad you are here to share with us.


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## Plasticweld (Apr 5, 2014)

Gee Robb for a guy with writers block you seem to have no trouble writing a story. Maybe what you need to write is the story of what happened after Katrina, I would be interested in reading it. it could be that is what is clogging your brain and you need to exorcised that demon. 

You sound like someone who will fit right in, you already seem to have the skills to present your story and make it seem interesting ,your intro is proof of that.. Welcome--Bob


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## Gumby (Apr 15, 2014)

> Putting all those people in my head onto paper did more good than any drug or alcohol.



Absolutely.  

Welcome to the site. I think that you'll write again, just let it come naturally and don't worry if your first attempts are rubbish, it will get better.


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## J Anfinson (Apr 15, 2014)

It's great to have you here. It can be rough to get stories going sometimes, maybe you just need the right inspiration so you'll know where to begin.


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## Bishop (Apr 15, 2014)

In of itself that's quite a story! And it's awesome that you finished a novel, congrats!

Welcome to the writing forums!
Writing Forums: Novel writing month? No, this is National Novel Writing Lifetime.


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## Johns_25y (Apr 15, 2014)

Welcome to the forums, Robb. Nice to meet you. :-o


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