# What is the female equivalent to a 'bro'?



## InstituteMan

So, I am writing something where I want to refer to 'bros and [the female equivalent of bros in contemporary American society].'

I am not sure what term to use for the female equivalent of bros. I am looking for the term for the women who date and marry bros, not for women who act like bros. BTW, if you don't know what a bro is, well, that is no indication that you are not a well adjusted member of society or anything.

The only pop culture term I know of that seems possible applicable is the term 'basic bitch', but that seems offensive to me. I am more than willing to use offensive terms in my writing, and I certainly am not using the term 'bro' in an endearing fashion, but anything referring to women as 'bitches' seems to be upping the ante quite a bit to me. Maybe I am just old fashioned, and I am willing to use whatever term such women use to refer to themselves as a group, if there is such a term. I just don't know it.

Anyone have ideas or suggestions or knowledge for an older dude who is not at all a bro?


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## Pidgeon84

lol I know me and my girlfriends use insults to greet each other all the time. I also just call them dude, that doesn't really strike me as a gender specific word.


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## InstituteMan

Pidgeon84 said:


> lol I know me and my girlfriends use insults to greet each other all the time. I also just call them dude, that doesn't really strike me as a gender specific word.



Thanks, Pidge. I am needing to be gendered in this particular reference, so dude won't work, but you give me some solace on the offensiveness worry.


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## Greimour

I think you might be giving too much credit to the ingenuity and creativity of masses. 

Men in Black: "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it."

My point is, the answers I know of are the incredibly simple and obvious "Sis" or "Sister"

Where you have "homeboy" you also have "homegirl"

"Bro's before ho's" meets "Sisters before misters"

~~~

The differences you have are dependent on the people and culture. You have chicka(s)/Chika for example... depending on the who (in that case a latin female). Mainly though, there isn't really a term that I am aware of that has the same weight as 'bro'. Women tend to be a little more mature and realize how stupid it sounds so the occasional inspired fads for using the terms die quickly. The only ones that really stand out are literally the opposites. 

Top 3 Feminine version of 'Bro' :

Girlfriend
Chika
Sis/sister (not just from the term 'bro' but also adopted from sisterhoods found in college sororities)

~ My guess would be in that order too ~


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## ppsage

Sisters. 'Sistas,' if you're willing to risk a higher degree of race identification. As (I'm guessing) G has indicated above, the commercial powers which confiscate popular idiom have yet to see profit in popularizing a female version, but most readers will get what you're attempting anyway.


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## InstituteMan

Thanks for the thoughts and suggestions, Greimour and ppsqge. The point about commercial interests is particularly apt. I shall continue to mull.


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## Plasticweld

I think the dynamics behind women or girls who are friends is actually quite unique, in one moment they are fierce allies the next they are catty towards each other.   I find it very interesting that we would even need to struggle with a term that is so common place amount men that it even requires thought for women.


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## InstituteMan

So, in a fit of possible insight or insanity, I broke down and used the google machine. I learned that the ever delightful Urban Dictionary says the term I am looking for is 'bro-ette' while the whatever-wave-we-are-on feminist blog Jezebel tells me the term I want is, indeed, 'basic bitch.'


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## InstituteMan

Plasticweld said:


> I think the dynamics behind women or girls who are friends is actually quite unique, in one moment they are fierce allies the next they are catty towards each other.   I find it very interesting that we would even need to struggle with a term that is so common place amount men that it even requires thought for women.



I can't discern whether this phenomenon is 'nature or nurture,' and this isn't absolutely universal (based on my sample size of two daughters) . . . but this is a common scenario. A scenario that I have seen repeated over and over and over and over again amongst a group of girls.


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## Plasticweld

Having had a teenage daughter in the house along with my wife I can think of no other term that works as well.  The only time women tend to be overly sentimental about another woman is when they are in different locations.  I always referred to my wife as biscuit in such times, it was polite yet direct.  The other line that always came to mind. -I am not sure of the movie- The one where some says " Beaches,  we got no beaches here!"  I of coarse changed it to "Biscuits, we got no biscuits here."


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## Morkonan

InstituteMan said:


> So, I am writing something where I want to refer to 'bros and [the female equivalent of bros in contemporary American society].'
> 
> I am not sure what term to use for the female equivalent of bros. I am looking for the term for the women who date and marry bros, not for women who act like bros. BTW, if you don't know what a bro is, well, that is no indication that you are not a well adjusted member of society or anything.
> 
> The only pop culture term I know of that seems possible applicable is the term 'basic bitch', but that seems offensive to me. I am more than willing to use offensive terms in my writing, and I certainly am not using the term 'bro' in an endearing fashion, but anything referring to women as 'bitches' seems to be upping the ante quite a bit to me. Maybe I am just old fashioned, and I am willing to use whatever term such women use to refer to themselves as a group, if there is such a term. I just don't know it.
> 
> Anyone have ideas or suggestions or knowledge for an older dude who is not at all a bro?



Define "bro."

I mean _really_ define it. You seem to be all over the place when trying to describe exactly what it is you want. That might be the problem you need to solve in order to get over the hurdle.


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## garza

Growing up in a racially mixed neighbourhood in Mississippi, I learned what is now called Ebonics in parallel with my acquisition of English. Sista is street, sister is home and church. Bro and bredda are street, brother is home and church.


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## InstituteMan

Morkonan - The 'bro' term has been much discussed and debated in some corners of the blogosphere that I read, but you are correct that the definition is slippery, so others may have something else in mind. In the context I am writing, I am particularly looking for a term to go with the white, at least upper middle class guys who descend upon a typical large American university wearing flip-flops, often carrying a lacrosse stick, maybe belonging to a fraternity, and calling one another 'bro.' I am trying to find the basic term for the women who ultimately wind up pairing up with those guys on a semi-permanent basis. I am trying to identify the term the women would use to describe themselves, not whatever term a a 40 something guy like me or one of the bros would use to refer to them. Last fall those young women at the nearest university seemed to wear running shorts and topsiders to class, unless they were wearing leggings and little else below the waist.

garza - You make a good point about racial implications. I am trying to reference a particular type of young, privileged American white person here.


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## ppsage

Still pretty sure the term is an alcoholic beverage marketing device not required or effective for the more intelligent gender.


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## InstituteMan

ppsage said:


> Still pretty sure the term is an alcoholic beverage marketing device not required or effective for the more intelligent gender.



I suspect and fear that you are correct to a large degree.


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## ppsage

InstituteMan said:


> I suspect and fear that you are correct to a large degree.


Perhaps the story here revolves around the increased susceptibility of males to ersatz community.


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## Morkonan

InstituteMan said:


> Morkonan - The 'bro' term has been much discussed and debated in some corners of the blogosphere that I read, but you are correct that the definition is slippery, so others may have something else in mind. In the context I am writing, I am particularly looking for a term to go with the white, at least upper middle class guys who descend upon a typical large American university wearing flip-flops, often carrying a lacrosse stick, maybe belonging to a fraternity, and calling one another 'bro.' I am trying to find the basic term for the women who ultimately wind up pairing up with those guys on a semi-permanent basis. I am trying to identify the term the women would use to describe themselves, not whatever term a a 40 something guy like me or one of the bros would use to refer to them. Last fall those young women at the nearest university seemed to wear running shorts and topsiders to class, unless they were wearing leggings and little else below the waist....



Ah... I remember when "Preppies" could be a good fit with that sort of description. (Derived from "Prep School", those privileged few with economic security in a sheltered environment with, consequently, shallow values and lifestyles.) Then, there's the old "WASP" term. (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, ubiquitous, generic, social values and sitcom-like predictability) 

Make up your own term! 

Seriously, that's where those sorts of terms come from, isn't it? Someone put a word with an idea and it caught on. Shakespeare is owed for hundreds of words and ideas that have been formalized in the English language. Surely, you can think up one new word to be equally proud of? 

Bronettes, Bropers (Bro-worshippers), wait a sec... brainstorm!

Ooohh... I got one! How about "Caddies?"

You know what a golf caddy is, right? They follow their chosen upper-crust, privileged, master, carrying their load, seemingly oblivious to the disparity. Now, the aspect you're focusing on isn't the true plight of the caddy, often a socially displaced cast-off in "proper" society. What you're going for is that seemingly slavish devotion and dimwitted disregard for their seemingly total dependence upon someone who, as it turns out, actually does little or nothing of any substance.

There ya go! The name you're looking for is "Caddies." ie: The Bros and their Caddies. Doesn't that sound "right?" (At least in the few attributes you seem to be examining.)


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## Apple Ice

I never expected to see the term "basic bitch" on here. I found that really funny for some reason. All the suggestions here are good, though.


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## garza

InstituteMan - I was once a 'young, privileged American white person' but now I'm 'Just Another Gringo in Belize' to quote Jerry Jeff Walker. My good fortune in my earliest youth was to be in close association with people of African American and Native American descent in addition to my multi-culural home with Irish, Scots, Jewish, English, Sicilian, and French influences. 

Many of the expressions that became part of the broader U.S. culture, eventually influencing the 'young, privileged American white person' and becoming part of that persons expanded awareness, were expressions I heard and used as a child. 'Bro' is such an expression. After 1946 and the return of my brother from the U.S. Navy the common greeting between me and my best friend Josh, of African American descent, became 'Yo, Bro!' We already had the 'Bro.' My brother taught us the 'yo' bit.

When a new generation adopts an expression from an earlier generation, the new generation often believe they are the inventors of the expression. In the same way I heard rap in New Orleans years before rap was put on record and became a popular 'new' form of expression. It was corrupted, of course, and what is called rap today is no such thing.


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## InstituteMan

garza said:


> InstituteMan - I was once a 'young, privileged American white person' but now I'm 'Just Another Gringo in Belize' to quote Jerry Jeff Walker. My good fortune in my earliest youth was to be in close association with people of African American and Native American descent in addition to my multi-culural home with Irish, Scots, Jewish, English, Sicilian, and French influences.
> 
> Many of the expressions that became part of the broader U.S. culture, eventually influencing the 'young, privileged American white person' and becoming part of that persons expanded awareness, were expressions I heard and used as a child. 'Bro' is such an expression. After 1946 and the return of my brother from the U.S. Navy the common greeting between me and my best friend Josh, of African American descent, became 'Yo, Bro!' We already had the 'Bro.' My brother taught us the 'yo' bit.
> 
> When a new generation adopts an expression from an earlier generation, the new generation often believe they are the inventors of the expression. In the same way I heard rap in New Orleans years before rap was put on record and became a popular 'new' form of expression. It was corrupted, of course, and what is called rap today is no such thing.



Exactly. While I am still wrestling with the particular tale in question, I am trying to juxtapose content shallowness of a privileged group with those who are less privileged for a variety of reasons. I am not sure that I am executing my intent well, but that is what I am trying to do. The possibilities of falling out of that privileged group, for one reason or another, is also part of what I am trying to turn over. It is a big subject, and I fear that I may have to pare back my ambitions to get anything written on this one beyond the tripe I have produced thus far.

All of that said, I am really benefiting from and enjoying this discussion. This is one of the things I love about WF. I asked a facially simple question that implied a lot, perhaps more than I intended, and the good folks here have pulled it apart and analyzed what I said and what I meant and what those things mean in a broader society. This is a huge help to me!


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## Pandora

Friend


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## InstituteMan

Pandora said:


> Friend



A loaded term sometimes, but also often sweet. You have given me many ideas with a single word, Pandora. Plus, I think that you are factually correct.


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## Morkonan

InstituteMan said:


> Exactly. While I am still wrestling with the particular tale in question, I am trying to juxtapose content shallowness of a privileged group with those who are less privileged for a variety of reasons. I am not sure that I am executing my intent well, but that is what I am trying to do. The possibilities of falling out of that privileged group, for one reason or another, is also part of what I am trying to turn over. It is a big subject, and I fear that I may have to pare back my ambitions to get anything written on this one beyond the tripe I have produced thus far....



I've got something for you, on that... I hope you don't mind some brain-food. Think on it..

What you're talking about is a frequent subject in fiction. We often see it in pop-culture movies, but there are plenty of books on the shelf with this motif. I'll hazard a guess and say that there are approximately five bajillion of these sorts of stories on the YA shelf, alone. That doesn't mean that you should not write yours! No, that's not what I'm saying. But, I am saying that you need to put some "uniqueness" on it that makes the story stand out.

For instance, what is it about the "privileged" that we see so often reviled? Well, it's their downturned noses and self-absorbed behaviors, right? They shun socially and economically dispossessed "undesirables." They call them all sorts of names. They even gave one name to a movie - "Nerds." 

But, in reality, these "privileged" kids, either coming from powerful or socially rich families or just plain loaded and full of themselves, aren't really what we see in the paper every day... We see super-stars and celebs who are so disconnected from reality that "Let them eat cake" would fly out of their mouths the instant the mob stormed the gates. We see rich kids getting off of criminal charges because they are deemed to be too economically and socially sheltered from reality to be able to make informed decisions... Seriously.

This isn't the largest part of reality. At best, it's a snapshot of a minor segment. The truth is that all kids go through the same sorts of stages of development, physically, socially and emotionally. They're all looking for their own identities and trying to wrestle with just plain "growing up." For the privileged classes, that privilege only affords them more tools to use, more opportunities to explore and, sometimes, a larger set of blinders than even the poorest, most dispossessed, child would have. These "Bros" screw up in large ways because they "can" screw up in large ways. No urban youth from a broken house with little financial means is going to crash their Lamborghini into a busload of nuns after a three-day drinking binge. But, that poor kid might get a gun and hold up a liquor store for the thrill of it. One kid is going to make the paper because of who their father is or how notable their family is. The other is going to be quietly absorbed by the system and purposefully forgotten.

Do you see theme I'm thinking of, here? Of course, the appeal of a one-sided story is grand. Everyone loves concentrated sweetness! But, there's two sides to everything, or should be - The Universe loves symmetry.

When you're telling your story, try to add realism by exploring, at least in part, the "other side" of the game. (I suggest a subplot, perhaps one in which your outcast is forced to realize that even though they have been cast out, there are people within the privileged group that feel just as helpless or lost as they do.) Rich kids have feelings too. Rich kids get snubbed, cast out by their peers and made to feel "poor." Kids can be cruel to anyone, regardless of whether we would think that cruelty would be logical. Largely, and this is a great bit of opinion, kids are about empowerment. Seeking it, flocking to those who appear to have it or finding it within a group of peers. It's natural and it's just as much a part of their journey of self-discovery as how they form their social connections and how they justify them to themselves. 

(PS - It's not just kids/adolescents, either. This sort of behavior occurs throughout life. It's just that it's more marked in adolescents.)


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## InstituteMan

You raise many important issues, Morkonan, but this is one I have wrestled with over the years:



Morkonan said:


> For the privileged classes, that privilege only affords them more tools to use, more opportunities to explore and, sometimes, a larger set of blinders than even the poorest, most dispossessed, child would have. These "Bros" screw up in large ways because they "can" screw up in large ways. No urban youth from a broken house with little financial means is going to crash their Lamborghini into a busload of nuns after a three-day drinking binge. But, that poor kid might get a gun and hold up a liquor store for the thrill of it. One kid is going to make the paper because of who their father is or how notable their family is. The other is going to be quietly absorbed by the system and purposefully forgotten.



FWIW, the words I am currently trying to bludgeon into submission are a very short story/essay that is getting narrower and narrower in scope every time I go back to it, just because I made my horizon too large at the start for the form I am working in. Hence, the need to try to find precisely the right word here, because I am trying to not use too many of them.

I would like to be able to write what you are describing. I can understand what you are saying, but I am also realistic enough to admit that currently my reach exceeds my grasp on this front. There is not any help for it but to try and strengthen my grip, and that requires writing . . . and editing . . . and revising . . . and writing . . .


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## aj47

BFF


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## Morkonan

InstituteMan said:


> ...I would like to be able to write what you  are describing. I can understand what you are saying, but I am also  realistic enough to admit that currently my reach exceeds my grasp on  this front. There is not any help for it but to try and strengthen my  grip, and that requires writing . . . and editing . . . and revising . .  . and writing . . .



Ah, gotcha!

Another idea,  maybe it'll help - It appears that you've got a lot of ground to cover  in a short piece. So, you might trying doing the unexpected - Don't  cover so much _ground_!  When in doubt's about space, stop  "going places."  For instance, how much of what you want to say can be  said in one room? How many people do you need for it? How long will it  take in order for you to naturally evolve the conversation and actions  that take place in a believable manner? Can it be done in a few hours,  "story time?" A day? A weekend?

I use movie references pretty  frequently. It's just because I can be more sure that someone has heard  of a particular movie than a particular story. Plus, the visual memory  helps people recall the concepts, since we all have different takes on  what any particular story looks like as it unfolds itself, to us.

So,  think about all those "Weekend At" movies, if you scoff at the idea of a  very small setting as being useful. "Breakfast Club" was only a few  hours in a library, minutes in some school hallways and such. "The Big  Chill" is only a weekend retreat at a house. "Rear Window", a Hitchcokian yarn in a room.

The  thing is, it's all about what you write and, more than that, HOW you  write it. Whenever you "move" people somewhere or you have to go into  "Setting" details, you must dedicate a significant number of words that  don't really have anything to do with your "Theme." 

If you're  really trying to focus on a complex theme in a traditional short story,  then make other things less complex.  Think it over. Maybe something  like that would work for you? At the very least, it may save you a few  hundred words worth of scene-change and setting descriptions.


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## Morkonan

Reason for editing - "Derp." That is all.

(I can't figure out how to delete posts.. Someone remind me again.)


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