# PMSing and Messing.



## notsocordial (Jun 4, 2019)

Women have their emotions all over the place. They have to look after themselves, pay the bills, balance their career with their personal lives, their families, their babies, the big babies they married, the pet's babies and this is only a fraction of those things. A whole another level of problems involve what to wear, how to not get stared at, how to keep a zero figure, and the list is endless. To put an icing on the cake, we have been blessed with this necessary evil, called menstruation. The blood flow and the cramps are the easiest part, the tougher part is the PMSing. The title PMSing and Messing just made perfect sense together.


For people, who are not acquainted with this yet, PMS is Pre-Menstrual Syndrome and PMSing has caught on with time as people became more aware and open about menstruation. What happens is women go through a series of symptoms including bloating, tender breasts, acne, body ache, and these vary in women. So, this, in turn, gives rise to irritability, mood swings, and emotional outbursts. This is all you need to know to go through with this article because, No Uterus, No Opinions 
So, I was just calculating something and I found that basically, PMSing starts two weeks before periods and one week we have to go through with the period so basically, in a year we suffer for almost 36 weeks! I'd rather give birth to a baby. Now, that is giving me more anxiety.


My day started off with tossing and turning in my bed, my body feeling as if it had suddenly gone sore. I feel unnaturally sleepy and I wonder what I had done last night that got me so tired. Nothing, absolutely nothing. Then, I remember that this might be because of my approaching periods. "It's still 5 days away, though", I talk to myself. "Doesn't matter, it's here", says another voice. Unwillingly, I wake up from my bed and drag myself to the washroom and get ready like a lazy log (this has nothing to do with periods, every day is a struggle ).
I can feel parts of my body aching and losing their strength, I feel irritated with everything everyone says and that's when I know it's REALLY here. The mood swings are frequent and I want to eat everything that comes my way. I wonder how many more days until I gain my normal self back. All the meals of the day were pretty fancy and heavy and I could feel my tummy rumbling for food still. Now, I feel bloated. Is it because I ate too much? Or is it me, PMSing and messing around?

I come back home after a tiring day and I sit in quiet in my room. I open Social Media and see a picture of someone holding a cute little puppy with its gleaming eyes staring at me. I look at it closely and tears flood my eyes. I feel so overwhelmed with the picture that now I want to have a puppy! I scroll down and see a friend of mine on a trip to Bali. I see more pictures. I start thinking about what I have been doing with my life and why I have not seen Bali yet. I start rethinking my career decisions, my relationship choices. I analyze everything that I had done in my life and start creating scenarios in my head. Fuck you PMS and me, for PMSing!
I remember an old friend and start reading our old chats, I recall all the memories and start crying copiously. It is as if it doesn't have a stopper. I stop crying all of a sudden and turn on Netflix. I play FRIENDS. I mean, what can go wrong now? But it's the episode where Phoebe has a monologue with her triplets before giving them away to her brother and I am back to Square One!


I pause it. Now, my head starts aching. I think maybe it's because of all the crying that I did. I decide to read a book. Maybe that will distract me. But I am craving to eat something sweet. "I will order a cupcake", I decide. I place the order and now I am reading a book. My tummy hurts. I feel something being turned and twisted in my tummy. Oh! A cramp. Come, I was awaiting you! I struggle through the pain when I get a call from the valet to pick the order up. Now, all my zeal to eat that cupcake is lost. I decide to drink some milk and sleep.


The next morning I wake up with more pain. I don't even have to go to the washroom to be sure. I know it in my gut that I am up for a whole week of pain ahead of me before I finally feel normal again.


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## Amnesiac (Jun 4, 2019)

Two weeks before onset of menses, double up on your calcium intake. Additionally, sea vegetables have also been known to help with cramping, etc.

(Six years as an Army medic, and I'd get reamed by the command if I allowed female soldiers to be excused for PMS symptoms, so when they would come to sick-call with PMS, these are two of the most useful things I've discovered. Additionally, (check YouTube), there may be acupressure points or Yoga asanas that may help...)


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## Bard_Daniel (Jun 4, 2019)

notsocordial,

This is a good piece on a topic I have no experience about. While, "no uterus, no opinion" comes off a little strong, maybe it was meant that way. Have you considered a blog? I think that this- not as your main topic but as a post, would fit quite nicely in it.

Just my amateur opinion. I think your pieces are getting stronger, though. So, good work!


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## Ralph Rotten (Jun 4, 2019)

Your symptoms sound a lot like when I am on the wagon.


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## Olly Buckle (Jun 4, 2019)

> A whole another level of problems involve what to wear,



I am sorry, I don't have the knowledge to explain properly what is wrong with this, but my ear says 'Wrong' for a couple of reasons, I wouldn't put 'whole' and 'another' together and I would put an s on the end of involve if I phrased it like the first one, but it seems optional with a slightly different inflection in the second

 A whole other level of problems involves what to wear, 
or 
 Another level of problems involve what to wear, 

I hope that makes sense, I am sorry I can't explain further.

To look forward too. The missus went for her HRT patch prescription today and only got half of it because of shortages due to Brexit, as she remarked to the Pharmacist, "They picked on the wrong demographic there, I'm getting warm already".


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## Ralph Rotten (Jun 4, 2019)

Can you edit a rant?
Safely anyhow?


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## notsocordial (Jun 5, 2019)

Bard_Daniel said:


> notsocordial,
> 
> This is a good piece on a topic I have no experience about. While, "no uterus, no opinion" comes off a little strong, maybe it was meant that way. Have you considered a blog? I think that this- not as your main topic but as a post, would fit quite nicely in it.
> 
> Just my amateur opinion. I think your pieces are getting stronger, though. So, good work!




Hey. "No Uterus, No Opinions" was in reference to FRIENDS, the series. And, I do have a blog. Please visit:  https://notsocordial.com/ for more! Thank you!!


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## notsocordial (Jun 5, 2019)

Olly Buckle said:


> I am sorry, I don't have the knowledge to explain properly what is wrong with this, but my ear says 'Wrong' for a couple of reasons, I wouldn't put 'whole' and 'another' together and I would put an s on the end of involve if I phrased it like the first one, but it seems optional with a slightly different inflection in the second
> 
> A whole other level of problems involves what to wear,
> or
> ...



Thank you so much.I will make the corrections


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## notsocordial (Jun 5, 2019)

Ralph Rotten said:


> Can you edit a rant?
> Safely anyhow?



Um? I can try?


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## Ralph Rotten (Jun 6, 2019)

I meant could Olly safely edit that rant?
I put on my kevlar as soon as I read it.


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## Olly Buckle (Jun 7, 2019)

It is a writing forum, I think it's safe to crit. the writing, I wouldn't crit. the content.


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## Bayview (Jun 7, 2019)

For me, I was turned off by the opening, which has a lot of over-generalizations about women. I know, it's meant to be overstated for humour, but it didn't work for me. I have a uterus, but I don't get PMS, my emotions are rarely "all over the place", I didn't marry a big baby, I don't let my pets have babies, etc.

I wonder about making the piece more personal. This is YOUR experience of being a woman and dealing with hormones or whatever, and that can be funny and insightful without trying to speak for all women. Maybe?


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## notsocordial (Jun 7, 2019)

Bayview said:


> For me, I was turned off by the opening, which has a lot of over-generalizations about women. I know, it's meant to be overstated for humour, but it didn't work for me. I have a uterus, but I don't get PMS, my emotions are rarely "all over the place", I didn't marry a big baby, I don't let my pets have babies, etc.
> 
> I wonder about making the piece more personal. This is YOUR experience of being a woman and dealing with hormones or whatever, and that can be funny and insightful without trying to speak for all women. Maybe?



Umm, yeah, maybe.


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## Olly Buckle (Jun 7, 2019)

Or make it less definite:-

"Many women have their emotions all over the place. They may have to look after themselves …"


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## Ralph Rotten (Jun 7, 2019)

Naw, if that is really you then go with it, spice it up even more even. I thought it was sharper than funny, but very sharp. As I said, I put on my kevlar when I read it.
When you hear that tornado warning, you get to the basement!


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## Ralph Rotten (Jun 7, 2019)

Olly Buckle said:


> It is a writing forum, I think it's safe to crit. the writing, I wouldn't crit. the content.




I was trying to make a stereotypical sexist generalization that she was about to go Linda Blair on you for correcting her rant.
Way to go, ruining my blatant sexism.


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