# cyber v physical friends



## escorial (Apr 26, 2015)

how do you define each one..?


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## InstituteMan (Apr 26, 2015)

The same way I define obscenity.

Seriously, I don't really distinguish between friends based upon the medium of our friendship.


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## escorial (Apr 26, 2015)

InstituteMan said:


> The same way I define obscenity.
> 
> Seriously, I don't really distinguish between friends based upon the medium of our friendship.




i get that.....let me put it this way...if you could choose one without the other..which one..?


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## InstituteMan (Apr 27, 2015)

escorial said:


> i get that.....let me put it this way...if you could choose one without the other..which one..?



That's tough call. If I can keep my family, I would probably opt for my cyber friends--if only because some of my physical friends are also cyber friends, so I could kind of kill two birds with that one stone.


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

you have what i don't a physical/cyber friend....i guess that may be the best scenario..


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## LeeC (Apr 27, 2015)

Outside immediate family, I've only had a few close physical friends in my life, tending to stand off mostly. Remember I grew up in near wilderness, happy with my own company and the creatures around me. Never really had what you call cyber friends, thinking of it more as communication, that is until here where there are a few I'd do whatever I could for. Don't know that this really answers your question


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

LeeC said:


> Outside immediate family, I've only had a few close physical friends in my life, tending to stand off mostly. Remember I grew up in near wilderness, happy with my own company and the creatures around me. Never really had what you call cyber friends, thinking of it more as communication, that is until here where there are a few I'd do whatever I could for. Don't know that this really answers your question



 is human interaction more important than cyber interaction ..?


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## InstituteMan (Apr 27, 2015)

escorial said:


> is human interaction more important than cyber interaction ..?



We're humans interacting cyber-ly right now. It's all human interaction, and it's all equally important or unimportant, depending upon how you look at it.


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

InstituteMan said:


> We're humans interacting cyber-ly right now. It's all human interaction, and it's all equally important or unimportant, depending upon how you look at it.



i think were all comfortable with the feeling the difference is slight with technology ....could you have the same relationship with someone you may never meet as you would with a friend you meet weekly?


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## LeeC (Apr 27, 2015)

escorial said:


> is human interaction more important than cyber interaction ..?


At this stage of my life, I've formed more what you might call friendships here than in physical life. It may depend in part on one's situation. I've been happy writing and associating with individuals to varying degrees here in the last year plus. In physical life when I'm outside getting some sun and learning to walk again, there's only one person that stops in just to chat awhile. Of course it may be that others I'd known just felt ill at ease, who's to know and it doesn't bother me. I like my solitude.


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

LeeC said:


> At this stage of my life, I've formed more what you might call friendships here than in physical life. It may depend in part on one's situation. I've been happy writing and associating with individuals to varying degrees here in the last year plus. In physical life when I'm outside getting some sun and learning to walk again, there's only one person that stops in just to chat awhile. Of course it may be that others I'd known just felt ill at ease, who's to know and it doesn't bother me. I like my solitude.



it don't bother me and often people will use the term cyber friends and it always makes me think do they value one over the other....maybe there is very little in it.!


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## LeeC (Apr 27, 2015)

These New Hampshirites sport bumper stickers, "My wife, maybe my dog, never my gun."

I turn that around to, if you bother my wife or dog, you're going to see more than a gun ;-)


- - - - - - - - update - - - - - - - -
I think it's more a case of who you're comfortable with, than the distinction you mentioned.


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

LeeC said:


> These New Hampshirites sport bumper stickers, "My wife, maybe my dog, never my gun."
> 
> I turn that around to, if you bother my wife or dog, you're going to see more than a gun ;-)
> 
> ...


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

i get more intellectual banter on here than with friends..and i do value that


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## LeeC (Apr 27, 2015)

Way past my bedtime, see you when the sun comes around again


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

goodnight LC


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## TJ1985 (Apr 27, 2015)

For me, I don't build fences. Friends are friends, enemies are enemies, and people are people. Online friends are cherished because oftentimes it's not so easy to grow tired of them like offline friends. With an offline friend, too much exposure is just too much. The downside of online for me is that it's so easy to misunderstand or be misunderstood and that causes rifts between people. 

I tend to make friends and acquaintances. A friend, I'll give them my time, my insight, myself. An acquaintance, I might give them advice if the solution is dummy obvious, but I'm not going to kill myself to help 'em. To put it differently, I would take a bullet for my friends, I'd take a five minute break for my acquaintances. That said, I have no real friends offline, but I have several online, hundreds. I've been goofing around forums for years and in the span of the last ten years I've probably met 25,000 people and spoke to each them enough to know if I did or didn't like them. Obviously, they all don't stay in touch, but I've got a few friends I met 15 years ago. To me, there's no distinction between online friends and offline friends. 

Of course, there are downsides to both, but the upsides greatly outweigh the downsides. I know of few male friends who'd tolerate having a conversation with me about cars whilst I sat around in less-than-casual attire. Online, people don't know these things unless you tell them, so you just don't tell them. Conversing with my online pals is very easy on the wardrobe. That works great when I've been sick and haven't felt like going to the trouble of putting on... pants.


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

TJ1985 said:


> For me, I don't build fences. Friends are friends, enemies are enemies, and people are people. Online friends are cherished because oftentimes it's not so easy to grow tired of them like offline friends. With an offline friend, too much exposure is just too much. The downside of online for me is that it's so easy to misunderstand or be misunderstood and that causes rifts between people.
> 
> I tend to make friends and acquaintances. A friend, I'll give them my time, my insight, myself. An acquaintance, I might give them advice if the solution is dummy obvious, but I'm not going to kill myself to help 'em. To put it differently, I would take a bullet for my friends, I'd take a five minute break for my acquaintances. That said, I have no real friends offline, but I have several online, hundreds. I've been goofing around forums for years and in the span of the last ten years I've probably met 25,000 people and spoke to each them enough to know if I did or didn't like them. Obviously, they all don't stay in touch, but I've got a few friends I met 15 years ago. To me, there's no distinction between online friends and offline friends.
> 
> Of course, there are downsides to both, but the upsides greatly outweigh the downsides. I know of few male friends who'd tolerate having a conversation with me about cars whilst I sat around in less-than-casual attire. Online, people don't know these things unless you tell them, so you just don't tell them. Conversing with my online pals is very easy on the wardrobe. That works great when I've been sick and haven't felt like going to the trouble of putting on... pants.




downside,upsides on both is a given and yeah...i get the feeling you can take either one....pretty much what i reckon too


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## PiP (Apr 27, 2015)

Interesting question, escorial.

Being an expat I live in a rather an  incestuous bubble, as you probably realised from reading my blog post about yesterday's shindig. Friends here can be rather 'full on' and friendships rarely (never) without drama. On balance, I have more in common with my cyber acquaintances because our interest in writing forms a bond long before any friendship develops.


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## dither (Apr 27, 2015)

I don't have  real physical friends, wouldn't know to, so no contest.


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## Plasticweld (Apr 27, 2015)

There are many advantage to online friends.  I have far more physical friends than online friends, I also have many friendships that started online and developed pasted that.  _"I figured maybe I better qualify that after reading it" _I have in the past been President and involved in the Christian Sport Bike Ass.  as the title says Christian motorcycle group that is internet based, it started out small a handful of people and I think now has a membership of just under 2000 I lot of the original members and leadership past and present have become very close friends.  I also do counseling for a variety of different things, mostly marriage.  I have never been able to separate myself from those I counsel and have normally begin to care about anyone who I spend a great deal of time with.  I cultivate friends wherever I go by looking for them and by being a friend first.  I have found that if you treat everyone as a new best friend either online or in real life that before you know it you have lots of best friends.  That also leads to a fair amount of disappointment, I have far more people that have let me down and disappointed me than anyone I know.  I figure it is all worth it for the privilege of having the true friends that I have today. 


There are some real plus to online friends, I don't have to let you use one of my trucks, loan you money, bail you out jail, come get you at 2 am or buy lunch every time we meet.  The reality is  that even if any of my online buddies asked I would do it anyway, I have done as much for strangers.


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

PiP said:


> Interesting question, escorial.
> 
> Being an expat I live in a rather an  incestuous bubble, as you probably realised from reading my blog post about yesterday's shindig. Friends here can be rather 'full on' and friendships rarely (never) without drama. On balance, I have more in common with my cyber acquaintances because our interest in writing forms a bond long before any friendship develops.



i had a feeling your pov would be the same as mine...and it was reading your blog yesterday that made me think about cyber freinds and how important they are


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

dither said:


> I don't have  real physical friends, wouldn't know to, so no contest.



you have a blunt/poetic way of describing everything.....


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## escorial (Apr 27, 2015)

Plasticweld said:


> There are many advantage to online friends.  I have far more physical friends than online friends, I also have many friendships that started online and developed pasted that.  _"I figured maybe I better qualify that after reading it" _I have in the past been President and involved in the Christian Sport Bike Ass.  as the title says Christian motorcycle group that is internet based, it started out small a handful of people and I think now has a membership of just under 2000 I lot of the original members and leadership past and present have become very close friends.  I also do counseling for a variety of different things, mostly marriage.  I have never been able to separate myself from those I counsel and have normally begin to care about anyone who I spend a great deal of time with.  I cultivate friends wherever I go by looking for them and by being a friend first.  I have found that if you treat everyone as a new best friend either online or in real life that before you know it you have lots of best friends.  That also leads to a fair amount of disappointment, I have far more people that have let me down and disappointed me than anyone I know.  I figure it is all worth it for the privilege of having the true friends that I have today.
> 
> 
> There are some real plus to online friends, I don't have to let you use one of my trucks, loan you money, bail you out jail, come get you at 2 am or buy lunch every time we meet.  The reality is  that even if any of my online buddies asked I would do it anyway, I have done as much for strangers.



i absolutely admire the last two lines and what came before was very inspiring


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## Lewdog (Apr 27, 2015)

I choose whatever friends buy me the best gifts.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Apr 27, 2015)

If any of you guys actually met me, and did indeed fall into some trouble, like, I dunno, getting abducted, fighting an entire biker gang, or even a random attack by rogue saiyans, 

I would most definitely have your back. And I know most of you would have mine! That's a 'Real' friend. 

Cyber friends are like...one of your hundred facebook friends. That doesn't count, my friend. Hahah. 


Sometimes I prefer purely virtual friends on occasion. Sometimes I just need a virtual, simulated female  A.I. to be impressed and tell me I'm awesome without bias. Hahah.


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## ppsage (Apr 27, 2015)

So, I just got to the part in the history of Imperial Spain where Phillip II builds the Escorial as a refuge from the duties of being monarch and emperor. Duties which he took seriously as an assignment from God, in a way which perhaps only a Spanish Hapsburg was able. I get the impression that he's not that successful in his friendships; being King it's hard to know who to trust I guess. Seems like he could have used an anonymous avatar and some virtual friends.


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## Pluralized (Apr 27, 2015)

I know a lot of 'real' friends that still sit beside each other and stare into their phones. 

Real friends will come and pick you up if you break down on the side of the road. Cyber friends will happily ignore you. 

Real Cyber Friends are the best ones - they'll actually PM you and be a part of your Cyber Life. Sometimes, they'll click the like button and stuff too.


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## aj47 (Apr 28, 2015)

escorial said:


> i think were all comfortable with the feeling the difference is slight with technology ....could you have the same relationship with someone you may never meet as you would with a friend you meet weekly?



Can you have the same relationship with two people, period?  I think not.  

My husband and I do the standard cohabiting etc. but we also enjoy a cyber friendship.  When he's at work, we chat online during the day.  A lot of it is mundane stuff, how's-your-day, sharing links, etc.  But it's also i-love-yous and so on.   

I have cyber friends whom I've never met.  I don't really have any friends that I don't interact with in some way online, whether it be via Facebook or e-mail or what-have-you.  So I don't really see a distinction.


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## PiP (Apr 28, 2015)

I met one of my cyber friends from Australia. She was travelling Europe and stopped off in the Algarve and although we only had a few hours together it was the most incredible experience. Our blogs were our link so we already knew we had so much in common. I'd love to go aussieland and perhaps one day I will pluck and courage and go.


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## Mistique (Apr 28, 2015)

escorial said:


> i think were all comfortable with the feeling the difference is slight with technology ....could you have the same relationship with someone you may never meet as you would with a friend you meet weekly?



Yes, I would think so. I have met a friend on here and we are no writing letters which we have done for the past few years. He knows me better than most real life friends do. For me its nice to have both. I have a few real life friends that mean the world to me, but I can't see them as often as I would like. The faitigue of the MS makes it hard at times to see my real life friends, but no matter how tired I get I can always connect with my internet friends


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## Loveabull (Apr 28, 2015)

The advantage to being online is for those of us who aren't the most articulate speakers can WRITE. The internet also allows us to transcend distance...The UK, Israel, Thailand-there are even translation options on Facebook. But real live friends, too many moves, too many quirks, and weird relatives. But an extended network of friends through work. There are a few women I know at work. I can be having the worst week and see them and say " Hey girlfriend, give us a hug" and I'm okay again...


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## escorial (Apr 29, 2015)

Lewdog...long time since I've seen you post man

CKJ....I like your honesty..respect dude

PP..good to hide away sometimes...man

Plu..it's a small world...if you break down..pm..me....ha

Astroannie.....were all individuals...thanks

Pip..that sounds like a hoot..nice

M...you make a very valid point there kidda

Loveabull..cyber hugs lack well behind..true


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