# Dark Energy



## ned (Mar 17, 2019)

*this one missed the boat for the poetry challenge 'Long Shadows' - so here it is anyway.....**



Dark Energy*
*
in every place
pervading space,
blackness at its heart

a satanic curse
upon this universe
growing off the chart

invisible, mystical,
intrinsically physical,
always with us from the very start

an abomination
of anti-gravitation
tearing god's creation
apart*


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## dannyboy (Mar 17, 2019)

hi ned,

wanted to let you know I read it - not my sort of poetry - the rhyming just weakens it all for me but that is just my taste - as a style of this sort of poem it works really well, if a little - "so what"...any way it could be made to pack a punch (not that all poems need to)?

if it is all god's creation then wouldn't dark energy (as part of that creation) be doing exactly what is was meant to do?

thanks again

Danny


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## ned (Mar 18, 2019)

hello Danny - thanks for reading and commenting - especially a poem outside your comfort zone.
(one of the challenges and delights of critique!)

so what? - really, I don't know how to pack more of a punch than the destruction of the universe!
- maybe I could ramp up the drama by replacing 'pulling' with 'tearing'....

I'm glad the poem gave you philosophical pause for thought - as it did myself, _after_ writing it.

is self-destruction part of the creator's plan? - which is not very satisfying - creator becoming destroyer.
is the universe a botch-job? - then the creator is not perfect.
is there is no creator, and the universe is simply the result of natural forces?
in which case, the term 'god's creation' can be viewed as nothing more than a metaphor.

cheers...........Ned


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## Kevin (Mar 18, 2019)

ned, you've got a lot of 'concept' words, in fact, it's all concept and no specific image. Satanic, why is is satanic? Or are you saying he's more powerful than God? When you go into it it doesn't seem thought out. It's like reactive. So if it's supposed to be Judeo-Christian it's more like -ish, not the actual thing. Anyway... I see black space, maybe with some stars in it, that has some sort of 'gel' to it that can be torn ,  if you can tear something like that- like... can you tear a cloud? Nebulous, in that it's wide concepts , no definite shapes to them.


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## TL Murphy (Mar 18, 2019)

There is no denying that this dark energy (or anti-energy) exists.  Whether it is inherently evil depends on one’s world view. In a secular view of the universe, or a dualistic view (like Taoism), entropy could be called dark energy.  Entropy is clearly an integral part of the cosmic clock-works, which, when translated into a mono-theistic view (Jude’s/Christian/Islamic) could be called “part of god’s plan”. If we consider the final state of entropy, where all energy is converted to mass, a solid, stagnant state, that seems to be the prerequisite for a Big-Bang.  And so it starts all over again.  From an omniscient, or cosmic viewpoint, entropy and big-bang are the yin/yang or the inhaling and exhaling of the cosmic body. It happens over and over again.  What we see as evil, or dark energy is the universe winding down.  Then it winds up again. I probably won’t be around to see it.  If we look at history in a dualistic way, we can see the same thing happening in the rise and fall of civilizations.  So this sense of breathing in and breathing out is something that pervades every aspect of existence.

The poem raises these abstract, metaphysical questions.  Personally, to say these things in a more poetic way, I would like to see a poem that shows us this dualism in fractal display of microcosm and macrocosm. What I mean by this is the fact of birth and renewal that we see mirrored in the very small and the very large. and in everything we do. This does not negate the abstract metaphysical questions raised in the poem and perhaps poems like this need that certain amount of abstraction to possibly raise the metaphysical issues to the surface but it works better if the abstract is grounded in the concrete with analogies to our common, everyday experiences.


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## ned (Mar 18, 2019)

hello Kevin - dark energy is only a concept - as the poem states, it is invisible, hence not a great candidate for 'a specific image'
all that science knows is the effect it has on the universe - so that's all I can express.
they've done the maths, and worked out that 73% of all the mass and energy in the universe is dark energy.

'why satanic?' - take the small amount of trouble to look it up - and pick one of its meaning - any one will do.

'tearing apart' - a well known figure of speech (sigh)

cheers for the input.......................................................Ned


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## ned (Mar 18, 2019)

wow! thanks TL, where do I start?

the overwhelming view of cosmologists is that the universe will end in heat-death.
a vast, cold dark universe devoid of matter - comprising of only stray, isolated photons.
the worst scenario, perhaps, to presuppose another big bang - it' seems a one-way ticket to oblivion.

With that said, I fail to see how life relates to cosmology, other than ultimate death.
and why would I want to? - I like astronomy and physics because it isn't the study of some aspect of mankind.
science has a beauty for me - that transcends the imagination of worldly affairs.
and I work hard on getting my facts right.
is there room for religion? perhaps as a counterpoint with claims on the definitive truth of the cosmos.

this is a short poem, with four short verses, simply stating the effect of dark-energy - 
because beyond the metaphysical, there's not a lot to say.

cheers................................Ned


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## TL Murphy (Mar 19, 2019)

Well, as I see it, everything is an aspect of everything else.  Therefore anything can be a metaphor for anything with the right kind of persuasion. The nature of focus seems to show us that knowledge is universal so the study of anything reveals truths about everything. But you could be right about heat death.  In fact, it's getting a little warm in here.


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## RHPeat (Mar 19, 2019)

Ned

Heat death comes for the stages of the sun. When our sun starts to expand when it dies; It will put earth in its atmosphere. It is happening to Mercury now because it has a flat axis and only one side is to the sun all the time. We'll cook when that happens to earth. That's a few billion years from now. But we could be hit by a comet tonight coming form beyond the Kuiper Belt or Oort Cloud which is really out there. (the farthest known parts of our solar system. All the orbits of comets are elliptical, and they come from out there. The sun's gravity draws them in. Thanks to Jupiter it shields us from many roughs floating around out there. They hit Jupiter instead of us most of the time. But a big enough comet could make earth into a fire ball again. 

Look up Kuiper belt on the internet and you'll see how far out it is. They also think there may be a Planet X might be out there, the size of Jupiter that could be gobbling up things as well. 

and it all ties together right down to the electrons that make up the whole Universe or universes as they are saying now. We're all made of the same stuff. In fact all the chemicals in your body are star dust which means you have gone supernova many time. If you look at the water and air are made of on this planet you'll have to realize you have probably breathed some of what I exhaled and drank some snow off the mountain I live on or the one Tim lives on. 

It's pretty wondrous to imagine but the watershed is something poets have been writing about for a few centuries. I think Rumi has a couple of poems about the watershed. It all flows to the ocean to be evaporated and then the clouds come inland and precipitate into dew, rain, snow, sleet, etc. Then it melts in the seasons and flows into rivers which goes to the ocean to repeat it all again. It's been doing this for eons. I think you drank some crocodile tears last night. Are you laughing yet. The same thing holds true of the Oxygen. It just keeps blowing around the planet all day and all night. You are a part of it all no matter what. Welcome home stardust. When our start goes Nova maybe you will be shot out into space again as stardust. Good luck on you next trip. I hope you will be conscious of yourself again. 

As for the double darkness: There is nothing dark about dark matter or dark energy. The terms are derived as a name for energy and matter that can't be seen or felt like other forms of energy or matter, but they know they are there because of their mass is measurable, or everything would fly apart. So there is an energy that is not measurable that holds the solar system together as well as all other systems. And there is matter that isn't seen that exists because it has a measurable weight as substance with gravity. Without gravity you'd fall off the planet. It's holding things together not tearing them apart. Find out your facts. 

a poet friend
RH Peat


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## ned (Mar 19, 2019)

hello RH -

"Are you laughing yet?" - no I'm not, I'm mad as hell that you should blithely assume that I don't already know all this stuff.
(what on earth has the well-understood water cycle got to do with my poem?)

but even so, you have got your facts wrong.....

heat-death is a term applied to the cosmos, not stars.
the sun does not have the mass to go supernova - yes, it will expand and kill everything on Earth.
hopefully, by that time, the descendents of mankind will have colonised another solar system.

double darkness??? - really, you are confusing dark energy with dark matter - in a really confusing way...
they are two very distinct and entirely separate phenomena of the universe.

dark matter - *attracts* normal matter - has no measurable effect on solar systems or the large-scale universe 
- only on galaxies and their clusters.

dark energy - a *repulsive* force - although inherent in the fabric of all space-time - its effect is only apparent 
in the accelerating rate of the expansion of the universe.

as stated in my poem, dark energy is invisible - but so is any dark thing in the darkness of space.

as dark energy expands space-time (producing more dark energy) the clusters follow like corks on a river.
until they will be so spread out, their light won't reach one another. That is the bigger picture.

locally, in the cosmic short time - our galaxy will collide with the andromeda galaxy - but that's like measuring
a manhole cover to prove the Earth is flat.

"Without gravity you'd fall off the planet" - thanks PH for that insight!
but one could argue there is no such thing as gravity - it's just a convenient handle.
what actually stops me from drifting off the planet is curved space-time, falling on me like a torrent and pinning me to the surface.

believe me, I do my research thoroughly PH - and by all means, question my poetical ability, but I suggest you should be more wary before you are so bold as to tell anybody to "find out your facts"
in no way am I suggesting that I am particularly clever - just that I read different books to most!

as it stands, none of the critiques admit to liking the poem.
but at least it has sparked some interesting debate from the spiritual to the physical.

cheers..................................Ned


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## Firemajic (Mar 19, 2019)

ned said:


> *this one missed the boat for the poetry challenge 'Long Shadows' - so here it is anyway.....**
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Hello Ned, I did enjoy your poem and I had 2 thoughts about it... I am intrigued with black holes, deep space, dark matter and dark energy... so to read your thoughts was very interesting and fueled my passion to learn more, because to me, the subject is so mysterious... 

Now ... going in a different direction entirely... your first stanza, in my opinion is a wonderful metaphor for narcissistic people.... I have met many in my life, and your first stanza describes them brilliantly...then the second stanza expresses that thought even more....

well... anyway, I know this was probably not the intent of your poem, but a really good poem will let the reader take from it what they may...and for me this worked as a very strong metaphor.... sorry for blathering on and on, but I enjoyed reading..... and thinking...


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## ned (Mar 19, 2019)

"it's getting a little warm in here"

that'll be global warming TL - the term 'heat-death' is a little disingenuous -
it's not death from heat, like a laser-gun - but the equilibrium of heat in the universe
so that entropy has reached its maximum - still pretty chilly, I reckon.

the rest of your comments reminded me of the Buddhist monk who asked the hot-dog vendor
"can I have one with everything?" 

cheers...................................Ned


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## ned (Mar 19, 2019)

hello Fire - thank you for your kind comments.

it's a thin line to walk when writing a poem about science - it could be rather dry

so I keep to the facts while sprucing it up with metaphors, biblical terms etc..

but that leads to wider considerations, which is great....and I'm so glad it worked for you

cheers................Ned


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## TL Murphy (Mar 20, 2019)

Hey Ned, how many Zen-Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?


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## ned (Mar 20, 2019)

TL Murphy said:


> Hey Ned, how many Zen-Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?



errrrrrrr..............none?.............the light bulb can only change from within...........

how many WF poets does it take to change a light bulb? .............four

the light bulb is a metaphor for an idea,
which is a simile of concept,
which alliterates with concede,
which has assonance with tree, 
which rhymes with three.

plus one more WF poet to critique the work, criticising the use of arbitrary terms to result in a number.

no more please!...................cheers.............Ned


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## TL Murphy (Mar 20, 2019)

No more what?  Critique?

It takes two Zen-Buddhists to change a lightbulb - one to change the lightbulb and one not to change the lightbulb.


By the way, I’ve said enough here.  I understand that this forum is not the place for long-winded digressions, which I am prone to. So I will step back now. But thanks for the rigorous discussion.  I’ve learned some things, and if you choose to leave the poem as it is, I think you have at least grappled with it’s issues and satisfied yourself.  The message is clear and honest enough.  I fully respect that. I think lots of people will appreciate it.


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## unveiledartist (Apr 23, 2019)

ned said:


> _this one missed the boat for the poetry challenge 'Long Shadows' - so here it is anyway....._
> 
> 
> Dark Energy
> ...



This is a unique poem comparing dark matter to satan. I think there may need to be some familiarity to satan and god, what they are to understand the nature of the poem. With that said, I think you can flesh it out more and give an imagery "story" so the emphasis will be describing what is wrong with tearing god's creation apart. 

In other words, how does something mystical mean its an abomination and on that note how does mystical or unknown "thing" destroys god's creation.

I think there is much more to this poem you can flesh out. Maybe put imagery in the third stanza? 

Other than the expanding of the poem, it works out well.


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## ned (Apr 24, 2019)

_"This is a unique poem comparing dark matter to satan. I think there may need to be some familiarity to satan and god, what they are to understand the nature of the poem. With that said, I think you can flesh it out more and give an imagery "story" so the emphasis will be describing what is wrong with tearing god's creation apart. 

In other words, how does something mystical mean its an abomination and on that note how does mystical or unknown "thing" destroys god's creation.

I think there is much more to this poem you can flesh out. Maybe put imagery in the third stanza? 

Other than the expanding of the poem, it works out well." 
_
hello Unveiled, welcome to the poetry forum - and thank you for reading and commenting.

it's always a good idea to read through previous critiques to see if your thoughts have already been addressed.

as said, 'satanic' and 'god's creation' are figures of speech that are not necessarily supernatural.
if you want to read them that way, that's fine - but you can not define the poem with certainty as being such.  

as said, I clearly state that dark energy is invisible - what imagery do you suggest?
like the wind, I can only describe its consequences.

I don't think I really need to explain why the destruction of the universe is 'wrong' - even if it is a completely natural process.
I do stress physical, rather than metaphysical.

but yes, I hope the poem hints at the wider implications of dark energy, that touch on philosophy and religion.

cheers....................................Ned


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## unveiledartist (Apr 24, 2019)

ned said:


> _"This is a unique poem comparing dark matter to satan. I think there may need to be some familiarity to satan and god, what they are to understand the nature of the poem. With that said, I think you can flesh it out more and give an imagery "story" so the emphasis will be describing what is wrong with tearing god's creation apart.
> 
> In other words, how does something mystical mean its an abomination and on that note how does mystical or unknown "thing" destroys god's creation.
> 
> ...



You're fine. We take away different things from poetry. I wrote one about why do we put sacrifice (jesus) over the focus of our loved ones. My friend got fired up as if I insulted her somehow. Not many people take into consideration that the "poet is not always the poem." I'm not christian but she wanted to save me nonetheless.

So, it's fine. The poem also works because you can create other poetry from it. But extending the imagery is only a suggestion.


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## ned (Apr 24, 2019)

unveiledartist said:


> You're fine. That's a relief!
> But extending the imagery is only a suggestion. As opposed to a commandment? - thou shalt make unto thee any graven image



smiley face moment....................Ned


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## Bard_Daniel (Apr 25, 2019)

I just wanted to say that I especially liked your final stanza and that I thought it framed the poem in its entirety. 

I also liked it!


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