# Sound a straw makes when sipping last drops?



## cinderblock (Aug 11, 2016)

How would you describe the sound a straw makes when you're sipping the last drops of juice or coke? Y'know that sort of loud, disruptive, repetitive, staccato?


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## Terry D (Aug 11, 2016)

I wouldn't. Everyone knows that sound, so I would feel no need to describe it. I'd probably just say something like: ...and Rambo slurped up the last few drops of his malt through his straw, noisily sucking air at the end.


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## Sam (Aug 11, 2016)

Gurgle?


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## PrinzeCharming (Aug 11, 2016)

As Terry mentions, this is a universal sound. Why describe something your reader can instantly hear, from prior experience, within a few simple words? As long as the reader knows there's nothing left on the bottom of the damn cup, they can feel for the character or even narrator introducing these thoughts.

Ex. 

The sound of air passed through the straw. My friend sounded like a deprived anteater. "Okay, does that mean you want a refill?" I wanted to ask him, but I kept my thoughts to myself. 

Give these scene more engagement for the reader. Don't give the reader another deprived anteater. Make the reader feel as if this is no different than any other day sucking complimentary air.


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## Sleepwriter (Aug 11, 2016)

slurp


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## cinderblock (Aug 12, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> As Terry mentions, this is a universal sound. Why describe something your reader can instantly hear, from prior experience, within a few simple words? As long as the reader knows there's nothing left on the bottom of the damn cup, they can feel for the character or even narrator introducing these thoughts.
> 
> Ex.
> 
> ...





Terry D said:


> I wouldn't. Everyone knows that sound, so I would feel no need to describe it. I'd probably just say something like: ...and Rambo slurped up the last few drops of his malt through his straw, noisily sucking air at the end.




Thanks guys, I definitely have a better picture of what I'll write. I'll figure it out. 

I like to ask these questions even if I scrap the idea in my head, because well, I still want to know what my options would've been, had I written it into the scene. And I've had times in the past, where I'd make up a description, only to be reading another book, and finding the author using a very simple, common description for what I took elaborate efforts to describe, and I'm going, "DUH, why didn't that come to mind? Of course, there's a word for that," or other times where it's not "DUH," but I learn there really is some esoteric word for what I described. Of course, at the same time, I am aware of cliches and tend to avoid phrases that are too easy. 

BTW I understand it's obvious to the reader, but I have a very minimalistic style. I rarely get into details (I leave everything to the reader), so when I do, it's to emphasize something, and in this scene, it was to emphasize how quiet it was. Sort of like the equivalent of owl hooing in the background.


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## dither (Aug 12, 2016)

I suppose it depends on the context, where the story is going in _A _given moment.

The " rattling " sound of.....
The "rattle of"......
That all too familiar "rattling" sound " rattle" of....


dithering...


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## cinderblock (Aug 13, 2016)

dither said:


> I suppose it depends on the context, where the story is going in _A _given moment.
> 
> The " rattling " sound of.....
> The "rattle of"......
> ...



Rattle... my favorite one yet.


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## bdcharles (Aug 13, 2016)

An impatient, plasticated rattle that twanged his nerves. 

Depends on pov, voice, etc etc


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## dither (Aug 15, 2016)

bdcharles said:


> An impatient, plasticated rattle that twanged his nerves.
> 
> Depends on pov, voice, etc etc



May i add to this the words irritation/agitation?

I'm finding this fascinating.


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## Bishop (Aug 18, 2016)

I like the violent slurp of the straw's vacuum hunting down the last few drops of cola.

Then again, I get poetic about soft drinks.


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