# Disturbed by Spring



## toddm (May 9, 2011)

_Thoughts of one Mr. Edgar McMillan upon awakening on a fine May morning._

My dark room is disturbed:
the night of glorious storms
and joyful fury has passed,
leaving a bitter quietude.
But what now is this chitter-chatter? 
Twittering birds outside mock me
with their sing-song silliness.
Begone, you tormenting imps!
Enraged, I thrust open the shades
and oh! the glaring sun explodes
in my eyes, and blinds me.
When right vision returns,
the morning-scene repulses me:
a rainbow is frowning at me
with sickening colored bands,
through urine-golden air.
I frown back, and turn away
to my happy bed, to peace.


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## toddm (May 10, 2011)

I feel the need to point out that this piece is entirely ironic in intent - I'm afraid that the irony may not be immediately apparent

I know people who are like this -


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## shadows (May 10, 2011)

Hangover?


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## toddm (May 10, 2011)

shadows said:


> Hangover?


 
funny, but actually no - this isn't even written from my own perspective - it is the mirror opposite of how I personally would respond
it is somewhat a parable about bad attitudes


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## candid petunia (May 11, 2011)

pessimists? kill-joys, who hate life?


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## toddm (May 11, 2011)

candid petunia said:


> pessimists? kill-joys, who hate life?


 
Exactly - you ever meet those people who would rather remain cocooned in their own misery/depression/pain, than allow opportunities for joy to enter in when it comes? - who manage to put a bad spin on even very good and wholesome and happy things

---todd


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## candid petunia (May 11, 2011)

Can't say I did exactly, but one comes across slightly depressed people all the time.

Liked the words you've used here:

_But what now is this chitter-chatter? 
Twittering birds outside mock me
with their sing-song silliness._


_Enraged, I thrust open the shades
and oh! the glaring sun explodes_


_a rainbow is *frowning* at me
with sickening colored bands,
through *urine-golden air*._ urine-golden air? Hahahhaha! This cracked me up!  And who doesn't love looking at a rainbow?



Talk about being pessimist. Who wouldn't be cheered by nature? Great work, you've put it across very nicely. :thumbl:


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## Trides (May 11, 2011)

This reminds me of someone I know.  I don't think your narrator is really miserable and depressed, (s)he just likes peace and quiet and solitude... I also think it's interesting how you describe the night as "the night of glorious storms / and joyful fury," because the narrator seems to dislike action and movement and yet (s)he describes the storms, which might be interpreted as gloomy by other people, as glorious and joyful.


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## obi_have (May 11, 2011)

Some people aren't morning people. I can appreciate the sunrise just as much as the next guy but I like it better when it's a photograph...and I'm looking at it in the afternoon.

EDIT: I forgot to say good job though, You totally painted a picture in my mind.


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## SilverMoon (May 12, 2011)

Sorry, double post. Read below.


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## SilverMoon (May 12, 2011)

Toddm, this piece was so melodramatically over the top that I feared for your well being. Ha! I was ready to send you a comforting PM! I thought you were writing in the very ligit Confessional genre. 



> it is the mirror opposite of how I personally would respond
> it is somewhat a parable about bad attitudes


 
You will get this across in your poem if you employ the Second Person. Rather go *he *or* she. *You will becpme the Strong Objective Observer narrator. The narrator who spies the dark side of The Human Condition with a flair for describing a nearly funny disposition. See if you read the difference.

Enraged, he thrust open the shades
and oh! the glaring sun explodes
in his eyes, and blinds him.



> Begone, you tormenting imps!


 
I am absolutely in love with this line! May I borrow it so I can direct it at some people I know?



> a rainbow is frowning at me


 
A fine "Anthropormorphism". 

*attribution of human characteristics to nonhumans:* the attribution of a human form, human characteristics, or human behavior to nonhuman things, e.g. deities in mythology and animals in children's stories
Keep 'em coming! Laurie


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## ISeeBull (May 12, 2011)

I think that the first half of the poem reads alot like Dickinson's  "I dreaded that first robin so" which is also a comedic take on the dread of coming spring (at least according to some peoples readings of it) The exaggerated language of the second half of the poem, from 9 on really get the irony across, love the almost cartoonish violence of the scene.


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## Trides (May 12, 2011)

SilverMoon said:


> A fine "Anthropormorphism".


 I think personification might be a better word for that... but yeah, I agree with you, especially as the narrator frowns back, sort of confirming the rainbow's living status.


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## SilverMoon (May 12, 2011)

_A bit different._
*somebody who embodies something: an embodiment or perfect example of something*
*representation of abstract quality as human: a representation of an abstract quality or notion as a human being, especially in art or literature*
*attribution of human qualities to abstracts: the attribution of human qualities to objects or abstract notions*
Personification takes it steps furthur.


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## Trides (May 12, 2011)

Oh well, agree to disagree. It's just a technical thing anyway.


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## toddm (May 12, 2011)

candid petunia said:


> _a rainbow is *frowning* at me
> with sickening colored bands,
> through *urine-golden air*._ urine-golden air? Hahahhaha! This cracked me up!  And who doesn't love looking at a rainbow?
> 
> Talk about being pessimist. Who wouldn't be cheered by nature? Great work, you've put it across very nicely. :thumbl:



thanks, glad you got a kick out of the 'urine-golden air' - that certainly is putting the ill spin on plain wholesome sunshine : )


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## toddm (May 12, 2011)

SilverMoon said:


> Toddm, this piece was so melodramatically over the top that I feared for your well being. Ha! I was ready to send you a comforting PM! I thought you were writing in the very ligit Confessional genre.


 
I sent this piece to a friend of mine, who was taken aback that I was secretly such an ornery pessimist - then I had to explain that it was not my thoughts, I was trying to make the opposite point etc etc



> You will get this across in your poem if you employ the Second Person. Rather go *he *or* she. *You will becpme the Strong Objective Observer narrator. The narrator who spies the dark side of The Human Condition with a flair for describing a nearly funny disposition. See if you read the difference.
> 
> Enraged, he thrust open the shades
> and oh! the glaring sun explodes
> in his eyes, and blinds him.


 
You know, I did consider changing to 2nd person, especially after my friend's reaction, but then it just didn't seem to carry the same punch for me - I like it actually being his thoughts we are reading - so I compromised as you can see above, and added a subtitle to clarify a bit



> "Begone, you tormenting imps!" I am absolutely in love with this line! May I borrow it so I can direct it at some people I know?


 
Certainly, if it suits you : ) maybe they will be a bit more deserving than these poor little cheerful birds



> "a rainbow is frowning at me" "A fine "Anthropormorphism".


 
thanks, and I do think anthropomorphism is the right term, in my mind it means giving inanimate objects or animals human characteristics - personification is when an abstraction becomes, as it were, incarnate in a human, as in "Hitler is the personification of evil."

thanks Laurie - for your comments - you may enjoy a few of my other posts, but I will warn you, most of them are a great deal more cheery than this one! : )
---todd


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## toddm (May 12, 2011)

Trides said:


> This reminds me of someone I know.  I don't think your narrator is really miserable and depressed, (s)he just likes peace and quiet and solitude... I also think it's interesting how you describe the night as "the night of glorious storms / and joyful fury," because the narrator seems to dislike action and movement and yet (s)he describes the storms, which might be interpreted as gloomy by other people, as glorious and joyful.


 
He finds joy and exhilaration in storms and fury, and finds actual quiet to be "bitter"; he thrives on chaos - 
the joys of others grate on him - he finds "happiness" and "peace" in his dark sad bed of isolation


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## toddm (May 12, 2011)

ISeeBull said:


> I think that the first half of the poem reads alot like Dickinson's "I dreaded that first robin so" which is also a comedic take on the dread of coming spring (at least according to some peoples readings of it) The exaggerated language of the second half of the poem, from 9 on really get the irony across, love the almost cartoonish violence of the scene.



I like your take on it - now I'm going to have go and find that poem by Emily -


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## toddm (May 12, 2011)

Trides said:


> I think personification might be a better word for that... but yeah, I agree with you, especially as the narrator frowns back, sort of confirming the rainbow's living status.



I think the kernel for this piece came about recently when I saw a glorious rainbow - I had the thought as I gazed upon it that it is somewhat peculiar that something so happy and beautiful is shaped like a frown, and not a smile -


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## Chesters Daughter (May 14, 2011)

I love this! I've been labeled an eternal pessimist to which I reply I would rather be pleasantly surprised than deeply disappointed. I am a morning person, but prefer they dawn cloudy. My room and my bed are my sanctuary and silence is my best friend. Your chitter chattering birds really got me, I live in what seems to be a bird sanctuary, the noise is ridiculous and once spring rolls around their voices ring out in so many different songs at 5am, it's maddening. Come summer, some of the overly exuberant buggers start at 3, what the heck are they doing at three? And they wake my parrot, whose screeching is even worse than their concerts. It's like you wrote this about me, I love storms, brilliant sunlight is fine in small doses, but only when I'm in the mood, otherwise, I even wear my sunglasses at night, lol. Urine golden and frowning rainbow are wonderful original images. Keep it first person, Todd, more impact that way. I didn't for a moment think it anything other than ironic, and how I love irony. Excellent piece, concept wise as well as word choices and imagery. Thank you for this one. And now everyone will think I'll all gloom and doom and I suppose that would be a good observation. Much enjoyed.

Best,
Lisa


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## toddm (May 14, 2011)

ChestersDaughter said:


> I love this! I've been labeled an eternal pessimist to which I reply I would rather be pleasantly surprised than deeply disappointed. I am a morning person, but prefer they dawn cloudy. My room and my bed are my sanctuary and silence is my best friend. Your chitter chattering birds really got me, I live in what seems to be a bird sanctuary, the noise is ridiculous and once spring rolls around their voices ring out in so many different songs at 5am, it's maddening. Come summer, some of the overly exuberant buggers start at 3, what the heck are they doing at three? And they wake my parrot, whose screeching is even worse than their concerts. It's like you wrote this about me, I love storms, brilliant sunlight is fine in small doses, but only when I'm in the mood, otherwise, I even wear my sunglasses at night, lol. Urine golden and frowning rainbow are wonderful original images. Keep it first person, Todd, more impact that way. I didn't for a moment think it anything other than ironic, and how I love irony. Excellent piece, concept wise as well as word choices and imagery. Thank you for this one. And now everyone will think I'll all gloom and doom and I suppose that would be a good observation. Much enjoyed.
> 
> Best,
> Lisa


 
Thanks, Lisa for your comments - I can relate with your pessimism somewhat, but I call it realism - I don't expect too much, but then I don't expect the worst either - but like you said, if you don't expect much, you are either proven right, or pleasantly surprised - you are never disappointed

It's funny your experience with the feathered-folk - I love birds, but then at the same time, they recently invaded our attic and we had a nest of very noisy cheeping houseguests boarding up there - I had to extract them, and found that really birds are pretty dirty little creatures (and mama birds are pretty mean spirited, especially when you relocate their young outdoors) - but still, I am enamoured with their fair voices and aerial acrobatics.

I recall laying there one morning in bed next to my sleeping wife, just listening to the fair voices of spring dance through our window - although so simple, it can be an almost mystical experience when heard rightly - that is until one's bedmate growls out: "can't you make them shut up!!" Oh the discordant heartbeats of humanity!

---todd


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