# Me bitching about a BS religious story. Strong Language



## cellardoor (Nov 21, 2006)

This is the story:
"A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each share their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?

Repost this as Love vs. Sex if you truly believe in God..,

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what.....and if you stand up for him you will repost this

90% wont repost"





Wow.

First, let's discuss the actual story elements.
There's a girl. Fine. Small town. Fine. Stays over too late and has to walk home through the suburbs. Fine.
Now, for some reason, there's a dark alley in the middle of suburbia right next to her house. Totally implausible, and in fact stupid, but fine. Keep it. Random scary guy at the end of the alley, she decides to keep on walking towards him BUT she prays for God's help and everything's fine. She goes home safe.
So the next day she finds out that a girl was raped in this alley twenty minutes after her? What the fuck are the odds of another young girl walking through the same alley late at night? I'll give that a Stupid percent chance of happening. Ass.
Then she catches the bad guy. Good job, bitch. Because she could totally have seen the dude's face at night in a dark alley, because he was looking straight at her even though he saw two tall men next to her. Brilliant.
Why wouldn't the rapist leave the alley after seeing those "two tall men"? And why didn't those two tall men kick his ass to stop him from raping another girl? God only helps people who pray? I thought God helps those who help themselves.
Well, if praying alone is enough effort to get God's help in such a profound way, you'd think people who prayed would get helped all the time. Oh but, they don't.
So the moral of the story is: pray to God or you'll get raped in that dark alley right next to your house in the middle of suburbia, which could totally happen, and totally will happen, especially if you don't repost this story. And those who don't pray to God deserve to be raped, simply because they didn't ask for God's protection.
Now THAT'S good ol' Christian Friendliness right there.
This seems a lot like bullshit propoganda on the level of Hitler's Aryan race.

Let me tell the real story.
A dumb little shit is walking through the suburbs late at night, coming from her friend's house. She stupidly goes in this random dark alley brilliantly placed next to her house, sees some incredibly sketchy dude hanging out at the end of the alley, and decides to KEEP ON WALKING TOWARDS HIM. Brilliant, you fucking waste of oxygen. Coincidentally, the dumb bitch walking down an alley towards a creepy guy whos obviously a rapist is ALSO a devout Christian! So, she prays to God. "Help me God," she thinks. She suddenly feels much safer and keeps walking down the alley.
All of a sudden the dude starts raping her. "Help me please God," she thinks. And nothing happens. "Oh God, please help me." Nothing. Then the guy stabs her right in the eye with a knife, rapes her corpse for another five minutes, ditches the body in a dumpster, goes home and has a mug of hot chocolate.
Ten minutes later another girl walks down the alley and makes it home safe.

So. If the first girl had still been raped, the second girl wouldn't have been. However, the first girl got first priority, because she prayed to God.
Think about this. The first girl, if she had been raped and killed, would have gone straight to heaven, and the second girl would've been safe. But, instead, dumb whore #1 gets away safe, and even catches the bad guy- after dumb whore #2 got fucking raped. Good job, God. You couldn't have divinely inspired the guy to go get some pancakes or something instead of RAPING PEOPLE?

Solid.

And, what the fuck is this Love vs. Sex crap? Shouldn't it be Bullshit vs. More Bullshit?


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## Hodge (Nov 21, 2006)

Not funny. Be more clever and refute the idiocy of the chain email with more reason and less profanity.


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## cellardoor (Nov 21, 2006)

i wasn't trying to be funny, and i don't see what profanity has to do with it. it seems pretty well reasoned out to me.


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## Hodge (Nov 21, 2006)

Uh huh. You may want to read it again, then. Maybe a little more objectively. Your constant ridicule of a character you already think is fictional really wrecks your credibility and doesn't make the reader want to continue reading the piece. It's arbitrary, and frankly, immature. Try taking the reasonable bits and expanding upon them rather than hiding them amidst a sea of anger and profanity.


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## Jimbob (Nov 22, 2006)

Cellardoor,
You've pointed out that an obviously dumb story really is dumb. Hopefully, such a story won't persuade too many girls that they can walk around whereevr they please if they just pray. 

Now, maybe you could write something about the fundamentalist Christians who are sending cash donations and egging on Israel to keep fighting the Palestineans in the hope of bringing on Armageddon. Or you could write about the ones who are doing everything they can to stop the teaching of evolution in high-school biology. Or those that have managed to shut off information on contraception and counseling on abortion to impoverished people in third-world countries in foreign aid programs. 

In case you've missed my point, I think you've picked an unworthy target. 

Jimbob


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## cellardoor (Nov 22, 2006)

This story is the kind of garbage being circulated around the internet by fucking propogandists. There are people who actually believe this garbage story. It's just wrong to prey on people like that.

So, yeah, it pisses me off.

oh also i didn't write this to be serious, i just want people on writingforums to discuss the actual story.


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## Rob (Nov 22, 2006)

Sure it's a bullshit story, but so what? This one tells us nothing about God, prayer, Christians or Christianity. It's just a bullshit story. Some people will smile and forward it. Some will bin it and move one. Bin it and move on.


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## Flexbile Garphite (Nov 22, 2006)

cellardoor said:
			
		

> There are people who actually believe this garbage story. It's just wrong to prey on people like that.


 
This story doesn't really prey on anyone. It just tells them to pray more.


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## mammamaia (Nov 22, 2006)

i agree it's a totally stupid, badly written story that will posssibly encourage stupid girls to rely on god and prayer and heaven-sent angelic heavies to keep them safe, when they stupidly do stupid things... 

for that reason alone, it should be eradicated from the net and its author sentenced to walk through dark alleys in his/her nearest big, bad city for the next ten years [or for however long it takes to become a homicide statistic]... 

i also have to agree that all that obscenity wasn't needed to expose this bit of merde...


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## cellardoor (Nov 23, 2006)

eh


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## Changeling (Nov 28, 2006)

Cellardoor, ignore them.  You're right in you're rant.  Aside from the technical hitches of the story (of which there are many) it is pure Christian propoganda as unintelligent and irrational as only Christian propoganda can be.  They have managed to raise idiocy to an artform in this one.
   Your rewrite is a superior and more realistic version.  This story is for the true Ostriches of the human race.
   Here's a thought.  How heavenly can heaven really be when your sitting beside God on a cloud looking down at all the friends and family he has sent to hell?  Boy did he screw things up when he created Christians like these eh.  Infallibe my ass.


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## Winged Sandals (Nov 28, 2006)

This would probably be better fit for the debate forum, don't you think?  You would probably get more of the type of replies you're looking for there.  ^^


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## Rob (Nov 29, 2006)

Changeling said:
			
		

> Cellardoor, ignore them.  You're right in you're rant.  Aside from the technical hitches of the story (of which there are many) it is pure Christian propoganda as unintelligent and irrational as only Christian propoganda can be.  They have managed to raise idiocy to an artform in this one.


How do you know who wrote it? Was it written by christians? I could write something like this and send it out, just for fun, and I'm an atheist.

You want to rant? Go ahead. Rants are often unintelligent and irrational. What was your point again?

Honestly, this so called story tells us nothing about christians or christianity. It's just a story. Who knows or cares where it comes from. If it's bullshit then it's bullshit. It's no big deal. Thing is, you have to pick your fights in life. Ranting at this is pointless. There are bigger issues. Christianity is responsible for bigger evils. (And some good).

Cheers,
Omni


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## Jolly McJollyson (Dec 1, 2006)

It doesn't take much to make something funny when it's already funny.  I did like that you "gave it a Stupid percent chance of happening."  That made me laugh.  Still, that kind of one-liner is all this story really merits.  Then to the trash can with it.


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## Knightskye (Dec 14, 2006)

This sounds like one of those ridiculous things people post in bulletins on MySpace.  There are dumber stories, like ones about hooks instead of hands, or scary clowns showing up at 3:30 a.m. with a knife, standing over someone's bed.


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## Siglark (Dec 15, 2006)

I totally agree with your rant. I suffered through 8 years of this bullshit in religious education (I'm a catholic) untill I got confirmed and was finally able to move on. Your use of profanity was warranted and I was nodding my head through. The people who have criticized you don't realize the greater harm that this kind of profanity causes. You have picked a target worthy of your scorn.


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## heatherlouise (Dec 15, 2006)

Jimbob said:
			
		

> Cellardoor,
> You've pointed out that an obviously dumb story really is dumb. Hopefully, such a story won't persuade too many girls that they can walk around whereevr they please if they just pray.
> 
> Now, maybe you could write something about the fundamentalist Christians who are sending cash donations and egging on Israel to keep fighting the Palestineans in the hope of bringing on Armageddon. Or you could write about the ones who are doing everything they can to stop the teaching of evolution in high-school biology. Or those that have managed to shut off information on contraception and counseling on abortion to impoverished people in third-world countries in foreign aid programs.
> ...


 
im sorry but i think that it is out of order christians fighting to stop evolution being taught at school.  what, do you just assume everyone to be a christian and want to hear the bible stuff??
and what do you mean when you say shut off information on contraception amd counseling on abortion??  
and i think that you have every right to rant.  it is just teaching teenage girls to be more stupid that we allready are.  instead of saying don't go down a dark alley where men are lurking, it is saying, go ahead, walk down the dark alley with a lurking man and prey to something that we don't even know if it is true because yeah, that'll save you.  same as the easter bunny can save you from drownding if you stick your head in a bathub of water.  
the story is complete crap and i totaly think the swearing was justified.
heather


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## cellardoor (Dec 17, 2006)

jimbob was telling me to write satirically about the people stopping the teaching of evolution and etc., not saying they were good

but thank you for agreeing hahaha


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## thechair (Dec 18, 2006)

There really is no point in debunking glurge...glurge debunks itself.


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## WrittenEscape (Dec 18, 2006)

I found it entertaining that you had nothing better to do than to trash some stupid bulletin on myspace.  IF it truly had anything to do with religion (which I don't think it did, it probably was some atheist posting for the fun of it), then why are you trashing it?  You think it's dumb, great; not everyone does.  Many people in this generation need religion to feel any kind of belonging at all.  That bulletin would not have been a declaration of faith, but that fact that it could be forwarded would have shown that sense of belonging.


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## acapella (Dec 21, 2006)

I have to admit I did think there were some funny parts, and if the purpose of this was to entertain then you succeeded. However if the point of it was to say something about religion, then you failed in that, and only discredited yourself. Gave me a chuckle though!


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## emma lange (Dec 21, 2006)

cellardoor,
It sounds more like an over reaction then a reaction.
And a bit more like an outhouse door then a cellardoor.
Why so much anger?  Why so much energy and so 
many words spent on something you identify as 'stupid'?
Just curious,
emma


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## golfprincess (Dec 22, 2006)

*Maybe she was ugly?! lol!*


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## emma lange (Dec 22, 2006)

My real criticism of the story is that the writer has missed the real story.

My first impression was that the unraped girl would be experiencing questions and perhaps guilt about being spared. To me that's the story. Her conflict and resolution.

Anyone agree, disagree?

emma lange


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## The Amory Warrior (Dec 22, 2006)

I've gotten this story before in email forwards, and as a Christian myself, I can say it's pure bs.

As for the rant, it made me laugh. But I agree. Peice of crap forwards like that don't deserve to be read. Quite frankly, neither do most forwards on the internet.


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## emma lange (Dec 22, 2006)

I love your avatar, Armory Warrior, could I ask where you got it?

I agree with you about internet posts, but I do think the situation could support a real story.  The girl in the story is extremely insensitive to the 
victim.

emma lange


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## zeeby (Dec 22, 2006)

hehe


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## Hakeem (Dec 22, 2006)

> *Maybe she was ugly?!*


 I think that's the only explanation.


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## Raging_Hopeful (Dec 23, 2006)

Okay well -I- thought it was amusing to say the least. I enjoyed it for its sheer raw "rantingness" and I thought you wrote humorously. Thanks for the laugh cellardoor! 

Cheers,
Linz

(Why does it all have to be serious debate and analysis? I appreciate some low-brow humor from time to time, especially at the expense of bullshit stories such as this.)


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## lakotadan (Dec 27, 2006)

I heard this story twenty years ago to emphasize the need to stay close to God...it is one of the many control switches used within religious cults.](*,)


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