# Rue



## Squalid Glass (Jan 2, 2013)

A short poem I've spent the day exploring.

_____________________________


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## Gumby (Jan 2, 2013)

Firstly, I _love_ the title. It serves the double duty of being a possible girls name and the regret the voice of the poem is feeling. I also like that the whole story isn't spelled out, it gives the reader some breathing room to make their imagination work for it. Well done, SG.


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## Abbey08 (Jan 2, 2013)

First, let me say that I like the poem. The idea of regret and feeling inconsequential because N did nothing for the girl is nice.

A question: What is with all the dashes? Are they intended to take the place of specific punctuation? I've seen them used in prose, am familiar with one fellow poet who uses them a lot. Whasup?

Lorraine


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## Squalid Glass (Jan 2, 2013)

Often I use them in place of semicolons and commas. It's just a style thing - an homage to Dickinson.


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## Arcopitcairn (Jan 2, 2013)

A perfect size, with just the right amount of punch. Great piece!


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## Ilasir Maroa (Jan 3, 2013)

Squalid Glass said:


> A short poem I've spent the day exploring.
> 
> _____________________________
> *
> ...


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## Squalid Glass (Jan 3, 2013)

With "console", I figured the object was understood, and thus left it out. 

With "null", yes - as in null and void. Meaningless.

Without telling too much about the poem's meaning, I didn't mean for the girl to be dead. The poem is more about the regret of inaction when watching someone suffer over the loss of a loved one.


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## Bloggsworth (Jan 3, 2013)

I'm happy with everything but _null_. Null has all sorts of nothingness connotations bar an emotional one - It really isn't the correct word for either the emotion or the poem.

Null - Related to zero, of no value, without legal meaning or importance. I think a word like or relating to useless would fill the bill more accurately as it would complement the rest of the "what if" expression.


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## Squalid Glass (Jan 3, 2013)

I initially had useless, but the rhythm was completely off.


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## Ilasir Maroa (Jan 3, 2013)

I didn't mind null, too much.  It's a reasonable metaphor.


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## Vitaly Ana (Jan 4, 2013)

This is a great piece. The especially liked the second stanza. The message in S2 has delicate tension and the clarity is excellent while still leaving the reader some room for interpretation. The first stanza is nice but almost happens too quickly as if there is something incomplete (intended?). S1 (again I like it but it feels like chop, chop chop) S2 feels rounded; polished.

Really fun for me to read. Thank you for sharing it 



Squalid Glass said:


> A short poem I've spent the day exploring.
> _____________________________


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## arkayye (Jan 6, 2013)

The cold left me numb and the struggle was both inside and out. That made for a rounded and interpersonal image. A relational dynamic, smouldering despite the snow. Spring is coming up, fast!


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 6, 2013)

I am afraid Bloggsworth is right, 'feel null, thinking' is, to some degree, an oxymoron, are you empty or thinking? 'futile' ? alliterative at least


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## Squalid Glass (Jan 6, 2013)

If only "futile" was 1 syllable. 

I wouldn't necessarily consider "null" to be a cognitive word - to me, it would suggest more of an emotional adjective, and thus on a different wavelength than "thinking", which would be a cognitive verb. 

...I think I'm overanalyzing this, haha.


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## arkayye (Jan 6, 2013)

Nulled (?)


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## candid petunia (Jan 6, 2013)

I've read this before but as I read it again now, the poem showed more clarity.

I like how you don't say much and leave most of it to the reader's imagination. I imagine two friends who are close friends but he wishes they could be more. The pang of regret, wishing he could/should have console her, probably didn't because the deceased was her lover? 

A powerful piece, and very delicious! Thanks for sharing.


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 6, 2013)

A little further removed from the meaning, but, "Now I feel flat, thinking" ?


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## Squalid Glass (Jan 6, 2013)

Hmm... I shall consider.


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## aj47 (Jan 6, 2013)

I too feel it's the right size for its message and the title is a deft choice.


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