# New World



## musichal (Jun 7, 2015)

deleted, see blog​


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## aj47 (Jun 7, 2015)

OOO!  Good use of form!  Well-done.  May I link to it in Common Forms of Poetry Described in Detail thread?

I'd like to list examples of various forms, but unless people tag or label them, finding them is tough.


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## musichal (Jun 7, 2015)

Thank you.  Certainly.


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## am_hammy (Jun 7, 2015)

Awesome. Love the way it looks and the flow is great. Always have good stuff you share! =)


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## A. Baderkhan (Jun 8, 2015)

I liked it !
thank you


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## jenthepen (Jun 8, 2015)

Perfect poetry! I really enjoyed the atmosphere you created with this one.


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## Fats Velvet (Jun 8, 2015)

The only line I stumbled on was 

"the men yearned to return to families"

Their families, obviously, but it just sounds funny.

The contrast between the captain and the crew is well done, and historically accurate.  Columbus was driven by ambition and more than a little blind faith in what he believed was a divine mission to sail west.  The poem hints at his zealous disregard for practical dangers.

I'm not going to lie.  The poem makes me a little bit uncomfortable since it doesn't mention what happened AFTER Columbus made landfall, not that it needs to, but I believe the image of Colombus as a hero doesn't work even in a metaphorical sense.  Of course, your Columbus may as well be Captain Ahab.  History isn't the point, so I'll withhold my criticism of the title "New World".


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## Firemajic (Jun 8, 2015)

Fabulous Triolet... Musichal, well done!


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## inkwellness (Jun 9, 2015)

The repetition of the line...


> “Sail on! Sail on!” the captain cried, frustrated.


...gave the piece an appropriate sense of urgency and of crisis. And the angry seas played for a nice rival/challenge/mirror to the poor captain.

Nice work.


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