# Sleep



## shadows (Feb 20, 2011)

My mind races,
  thoughts too over-cooked
  to douse in that last sweetness
  of deep sleep.

  As I fidget and turn,
  limbs tangle in crumpled bedsheets
  until finally I drift into nightmares
  that die so slowly,
  leaving me pulling thorns
  from a lingering image.


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## Squalid Glass (Feb 21, 2011)

I enjoyed this greatly. Nice and compact, painting a great picture of the frustration of sleep, and the frustration of waking.


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## shadows (Feb 21, 2011)

Thanks very much for taking the time to read and comment Squalid.


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## Foxryder (Feb 21, 2011)

Your craft for short verses excels in this poem once again. A sleeper whose state seesaws from a decent dream to nightmarish torture.

Just one minor suggestion, I don't mean to be disrespectful. Verse two could make use of a few commas immediately after 'turn' and 'slowly'. 

Wonderful work again, Shadows.


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## shadows (Feb 21, 2011)

Thanks very my foxryder and you aren't being in the least bit disrespectful.  I have been a bit lazy when it comes to punctuation, will fix.


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## Foxryder (Feb 22, 2011)

You're most welcome, Shadows. Better still, you know your punctuations. I guess you basically wanted the raw fact to be out in the open, and you've made that point. I'm not that good punctuating my works, but time and commitment are all I need.


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## caelum (Feb 23, 2011)

Nice one, Shadows.  I agree with everything Foxryder said.  I think you capture the struggle falling asleep can be very nicely.


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## Gumby (Feb 23, 2011)

Hey shadows, I enjoyed this one a lot. I commiserate with you, as I am a fellow zombie of the night, too.


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## shadows (Feb 24, 2011)

Thanks very much Caelum and Gumby.

I hate nights like these and wake up thinking it would have been better if I hadn't bothered going to bed.


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