# Where's your mother ship?



## Schrody (Feb 3, 2014)

WF is such a large community, it's members are all around the world, so let's get to know each other a little better!  Write where from are you, not just continent, write country/state, and a few sentences about your home. 

I'm from Croatia, little Mediterranean country across Italy.

Where's your mother ship?


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## Gavrushka (Feb 3, 2014)

Sounds good to me 

I live in the forgotten wilderness known as North-Eastern England. I live in a hollowed out pork pie on the edge of a small village, as do many Northerners. It's idyllically situated near to the main East Coast train line, and motorway.


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## Schrody (Feb 3, 2014)

Gavrushka said:


> Sounds good to me
> 
> *I live in the forgotten wilderness *known as North-Eastern England. I live in a hollowed out pork pie on the edge of a small village, as do many Northerners. It's idyllically situated near to the main East Coast train line, and motorway.



Sounds good as well.  I'm in the capital, in "periphery" of the city, and I need about half an hour to get the city center. This part of the city is not too much builded, there's a few houses, then nothing, then houses. Across my home is a big, beautiful forrest, it's really pretty in the spring when everything blossoms, and in the winter when everything turns white. They said some deers can be seen, some of it will even come to your house  My older cat, the one who looks like yours (still remember the name  ), knows to hunt little wild rabbits and then bring them to us as a present. He once brought a shrew. It's a wilderness, all right. And now I said too much. Your turn guys (and gals)!


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## stevesh (Feb 3, 2014)

I live in a small town (pop. 2500) near the capital of the state of Michigan (that's the one shaped like a mitten), USA. The mobile home community I live in is mostly surrounded by farmland.


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## Pluralized (Feb 3, 2014)

I live in the rolling hills northeast of Atlanta, near Lake Lanier. Billboards, litter, and lots of sprawl.

But I should mention my Mother Ship is Boulder, Colorado.


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## T.S.Bowman (Feb 3, 2014)

I currently live in Northern Kentucky. Just across the Ohio River from Cincinnati.

I grew up on Saginaw Bay in Michigan. The town I lived in had/has a population that never got much over 2000 people.


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## Gumby (Feb 3, 2014)

I live in the little town of Mena Arkansas, just across the Oklahoma border. Lots of trees, hills and woods. It's beautiful, very green.


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## Pandora (Feb 3, 2014)

We live on Lake Spivey, a little known gem, about 15 minutes south of the Atlanta airport. We are in the unincorporated area
of Jonesboro GA,  known for it's Civil War history and Gone With the Wind inspired mansions and setting. 
There is a quaint train depot built in 1867 in downtown Jonesboro. As a little girl I loved the movie and how my life 
has brought me here still amazes me.


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## Schrody (Feb 3, 2014)

I see that a lot of you live in the small cities. I grew up in a capital with population of 700.000+ What's it like to live in small cities/places? I bet you know more people than I do!


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 3, 2014)

I live in a little town called Forest Hill, in the south east of London. Very green.

I used to live in Blackheath, which got its name due to the fact that many who died from The Black Death were buried there.


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## Schrody (Feb 3, 2014)

Bruno Spatola said:


> I live in a little town called Forest Hill, in the south east of London. Very green.
> 
> I used to live in Blackheath, which got its name due to the fact that many who died from The Black Death were buried there.



Cool. The name, not the deaths.


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## Jeko (Feb 3, 2014)

I live in Milton Keynes. It's a bit shit.

I'd excuse my French, but I'd rather _be _French than live in Milton Keynes. :smile:


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## ppsage (Feb 3, 2014)

In the mud hills of west Oregon, in the 2000 person ghost-town from a once timber mill and rail logging hub. Temperate rain forest existed here for the last few minutes of geologic time, but we are mud hills because for several hours previously, this area was the sedimentary bottom of a vast lagoon, wrinkled now by a subducting plate. I have a river and a lake, which used to be a log pond, to look at, but I also have municipal utilities. One grocery and a usable library but no eateries which I patronize. Forty miles to metropolitan dining; I have a very fuel-efficient vehicle.


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## Schrody (Feb 3, 2014)

Cadence said:


> I live in Milton Keynes. It's a bit shit.
> 
> I'd excuse my French, but I'd rather _be _French than live in Milton Keynes. :smile:



You've got a point.


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## popsprocket (Feb 3, 2014)

I live in a sleepy little city called Brisbane, Australia. Population? 2.2 million.

It's a pretty good place really. 30 minutes drive to the best beaches in the world, 15 minutes drive into the city centre, at least half a dozen large shopping centres within a 30 minute drive, museums and galleries out the wazoo.


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## Kevin (Feb 3, 2014)

> I'd excuse my French, but I'd rather _be _French than live in Milton Keynes


- lol Submit that to the town council...make a great motto or billboard.

My neighborhood used to be referred to as "Dogpatch" and not in a good way.


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## Schrody (Feb 3, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> I live in a sleepy little city called Brisbane, Australia. Population? 2.2 million.
> 
> It's a pretty good place really. 30 minutes drive to the best beaches in the world, 15 minutes drive into the city centre, at least half a dozen large shopping centres within a 30 minute drive, museums and galleries out the wazoo.



I'm jealous.  My WIP takes places all over Australia, so it's was fun discovering all those new places to me (and I'm not talking about famous cities like Sydney or Melbourne)


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## popsprocket (Feb 3, 2014)

Schrody said:


> I'm jealous.  My WIP takes places all over Australia, so it's was fun discovering all those new places to me (and I'm not talking about famous cities like Sydney or Melbourne)



... Australia has places worth using as a setting!?


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## Pluralized (Feb 3, 2014)

Cadence said:


> I live in Milton Keynes. It's a bit shit.
> 
> I'd excuse my French, but I'd rather _be _French than live in Milton Keynes. :smile:



There must be something redeeming about MK.... Pearl Jam is coming there in July.


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## Lewdog (Feb 3, 2014)

I'm not telling, I have enough stalkers already.


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 3, 2014)

Pluralized said:


> There must be something redeeming about MK.... Pearl Jam is coming there in July.



A pearl in shit is still a pearl in shit.


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## midnightpoet (Feb 3, 2014)

I live in a small town in west Texas, that has more goats than people (as a matter of fact, i think some of them voted in the last election).  The biggest joke in town is a sign at the city limits that says "Playground of west Texas."  I nearly choked with laughter when I saw it.  We nearly ran out of water last  year during a drought and came close to burning up in a wildfire a few years ago.  It may not be the greatest place, but it's a great spot to hide out from my creditors.


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## Potty (Feb 4, 2014)

Cadence said:


> I live in Milton Keynes. It's a bit shit.
> 
> I'd excuse my French, but I'd rather _be _French than live in Milton Keynes. :smile:



Think you have it bad? I live in Banbury...


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 4, 2014)

Potty said:


> Think you have it bad? I live in Banbury...



That sounds fictional. Is that where all the banned members of forums live? That data has to go somewhere, man. CIA man; they control gravity man.


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## Potty (Feb 4, 2014)

[video=youtube;nYcfpRUPpRU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYcfpRUPpRU&amp;app=desktop[/video]

Content advisory. 

The reference to smelling like coffee is because we have a Craft factory in the center which belches out clouds of coffee steam. Actually quite pleasant if you like that sort of thing... Sucks when they burn it on occasion.


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 4, 2014)

A tiny village in East Sussex called Staplecross, there used to be a windmill (the sails were the cross) that ground staples (Wheat, barley etc.). This is the expensive bit of the home counties, a mile away in one direction is Bodiam with a medieval castle, steam railway for tourists and river, in the other direction Seddlescome with a village green inhabited by geese and surrounded by ancient cottages, a pub and the manor house. We are  bit smaller, a bit more everyday, not picturesque or touristy and quite a few people who are locals rather than commuters. We have lived here for about twenty years and in the area for about thirty having moved out of London when our eldest was about three or four. I grew up in North London and lived in London most of my life before coming here, with a brief spell in an Essex new town as a teenager.

Despite what Cadence says there are advantages to living in a new town, the houses work properly and don't have stuff like rising damp for a start; what other town that sort of size would have a decent, purpose built theatre? 
 Looking back it was a pain as a teenager, partly because being a new town skewed the age range so there were a lot of families with very young children (Milton Keynes should be a little more mature than that) but more because things were spread out over a large area and we had no transport. There was a concious effort to provide facilities, probably not always the ones we wanted, but compared to similar size, established towns in Wales or the Scottish borders the place is a hive of activity with endless opportunities, but probably more appreciated by the thirty somethings.


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## Schrody (Feb 4, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> ... Australia has places worth using as a setting!?



Shame on you, pops! Whitehaven Beach, Hamelin Poll (Shark Bay), Great Barrier Reef, Jack Hills... all wonderful places  Especially Jack Hills who has a great part in my WIP.


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## Gavrushka (Feb 4, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> ... Australia has places worth using as a setting!?




I've a whole chapter of my latest novel set next to the Edith River; apparently it is where the Drop bear population is at its densest.


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## popsprocket (Feb 4, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Shame on you, pops! Whitehaven Beach, Hamelin Poll (Shark Bay), Great Barrier Reef, Jack Hills... all wonderful places  Especially Jack Hills who has a great part in my WIP.



Oh! I've been to Whitehaven. It's very nice. Unfortunately beaches aren't my thing and it was all kind of lost on me.



Gavrushka said:


> I've a whole chapter of my latest novel set next to the Edith River; apparently it is where the Drop bear population is at its densest.



I know that drop bears are a joke, but koala's really are vicious creatures when you piss them off. They have dirty great claws and can use them.


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## Schrody (Feb 4, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> Oh! I've been to Whitehaven. It's very nice. Unfortunately beaches aren't my thing and it was all kind of lost on me.



Okay, but you can't say Australia doesn't have interesting places.


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## popsprocket (Feb 4, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Okay, but you can't say Australia doesn't have interesting places.



:icon_frown:


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## Schrody (Feb 4, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> :icon_frown:



There, there. :couple_inlove: I really think Australia is beautiful (although I've never been there, so maybe that's the reason  ).


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## Terry D (Feb 4, 2014)

I live in the countryside between Burlington and Ft. Madison, Iowa. My home is on a ridge overlooking the Mississippi River valley and I'm about three miles from the Father of Waters itself (closer during flood season). The ridge on which I live use to be a place where Sauk and Fox indians would make summer camps. I was born and raised 45 miles from here in Galesburg, Illinois, birthplace of the poet Carl Sandburg, George Washington Gale Ferris (the inventor of the Ferris Wheel), and a home--for a while at least--to Jack Finney _(The Body Snatchers_, _Assault on a Queen_, etc.), George Reeves (TV's Superman), and Ronald Reagan. Finney published a collection of short stories entitled _I Love Galesburg in the Springtime_.


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## PiP (Feb 4, 2014)

I live on the edge or the ocean in the Vicentine Coast Natural Park on the West Coast of Portugal. The beaches and countryside are unspoilt which makes this the perfect location for those looking for peace and tranquility away from the hustle and bustle of life. Although I live by the sea, the ravages of of mass tourism such as concrete highrise, tacky touristy shops and tourist "terrorists" have not encroached on our corner of paradise. "Locals" consist of many different nationalities which on occasions make for some interesting cultural experiences.  Despite years of Portuguese lessons, language still remains the major barrier to complete social integration. Heigh-ho....


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## bookmasta (Feb 4, 2014)

Sunny Southern California.


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## N J Xkey (Feb 4, 2014)

I live in a seaside town in West Sussex (South East of England). Nice place to raise the kids (countryside and coast, not a great beach though!). Nothing very exciting to say about it, Oscar Wilde lived here once upon a time I think that's its only claim to fame!


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## Blade (Feb 4, 2014)

I live in Kitchener, ON, Canada (pop. ~ 224,000) in south western Ontario about halfway between Toronto and London. Generally a great place to live, spacious, quiet with lots of green space. I actually have a lawn bowling club and a small, mostly wooded park just out behind my place.

I grew up about a hundred miles north east of here in a small village which has since mushroomed in size due to cheap housing demand. Nice place to grow up but I don't miss it having little taste for unemployment and red-necks.


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## Lewdog (Feb 4, 2014)

Blade said:


> I live in Kitchener, ON, Canada (pop. ~ 250,000) in south western Ontario about halfway between Toronto and London. Generally a great place to live, spacious, quiet with lots of green space. I actually have a lawn bowling club and a small, mostly wooded park just out behind my place.
> 
> I grew up about a hundred miles north east of here in a small village which has since mushroomed in size due to cheap housing demand. Nice place to grow up but I don't miss it having little taste for unemployment and red-necks.



Wouldn't halfway between Toronto and London be in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean?


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## Blade (Feb 4, 2014)

Lewdog said:


> Wouldn't halfway between Toronto and London be in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean?



:sunny:​ I was referring to London ON, aka 'The Forgotten City', and erroneously assumed that readers would be familiar with it (not at all obvious) or could deduce its location from evidence implied. (why bother). Does ~ fifty miles west of Toronto work for you?ukel:


Kevin said:


> My neighborhood used to be referred to as "Dogpatch" and not in a good way.



It is interesting how a town or neighbourhood can get a bad reputation that sometimes just wont seem to go away. People get a bad impression, never go there and so the tag sticks. I cringe when i see an article like "10 worst places to live in the US" because I figure there are people living there who are working hard to 'right the ship' and must be discouraged and angry at a national put-down. Most unfair!:sulkiness:


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## Lewdog (Feb 4, 2014)

You know what you do when you think something is implied...you make people think an imp lied...wait that's not it.  :hopelessness:


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## Blade (Feb 4, 2014)

Lewdog said:


> You know what you do when you think something is implied...you make people think an imp lied...wait that's not it.  :hopelessness:



:snowman: Clever. I do think implications are valuable in that they save both yourself and a reader from long windedness when the information could be easily deduced from information provided given that anyone was actually interested. Just a brevity preference really.eaceful:


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## bazz cargo (Feb 4, 2014)

I'm Moving next door to piglet.


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## popsprocket (Feb 4, 2014)

Schrody said:


> There, there. :couple_inlove: I really think Australia is beautiful (although I've never been there, so maybe that's the reason  ).



Alright, maybe Australia is nice. It just doesn't really occur to me because I live here.



pigletinportugal said:


> I live on the edge or the ocean in the Vicentine Coast Natural Park on the West Coast of Portugal. The beaches and countryside are unspoilt which makes this the perfect location for those looking for peace and tranquility away from the hustle and bustle of life. Although I live by the sea, the ravages of of mass tourism such as concrete highrise, tacky touristy shops and tourist "terrorists" have not encroached on our corner of paradise. "Locals" consist of many different nationalities which on occasions make for some interesting cultural experiences.  Despite years of Portuguese lessons, language still remains the major barrier to complete social integration. Heigh-ho....



The only piece of advice I ever got for language learning that worked was when my French teacher told me to think in French as much as possible. At first it was a word here and there and then it was whole sentences.

Of course, now I can speak all of about 10 words in French, so don't hold it against me if that method doesn't pan out...


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 4, 2014)

I visited a village in France for six weeks where no-one spoke English, later I had a job in a kitchen fourteen hours a day with a staff who only spoke Spanish and Andaluse. My French and Spanish are not very grammatical, and I have not used them for a bit, but I used to be fairly fluent.


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## Lewdog (Feb 4, 2014)

Blade said:


> :snowman: Clever. I do think implications are valuable in that they save both yourself and a reader from long windedness when the information could be easily deduced from information provided given that anyone was actually interested. Just a brevity preference really.eaceful:



It would have been more interesting if you lived in the middle of the ocean!


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## Kevin (Feb 4, 2014)

Languages? Imitation. That's the secret.  Start with the accent. I started doing it as a put-on but pretty soon I was good at it. Now I can't help it.  Put me on the phone with a Persian and in under 30 seconds I'm speaking with 'v's or a Balochi brogue.  I had a new customer once and after five minutes she asked if I was Swedish. She was. Oops.  Go with it. Don't be embarrassed.


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## Schrody (Feb 4, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> Alright, maybe Australia is nice. It just doesn't really occur to me because I live here.



Probably


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## Blade (Feb 4, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> Alright, maybe Australia is nice. It just doesn't really occur to me because I live here.


:nonchalance:I feel the same way about Canada. Thing is there are tourism promoters and such running around distributing all sorts of flashy scenic photos around the world that give a rather unrealistic impression of the realm. What I mean is, I don't spend much time in the mountains near Jasper gawking around all day, OK?ukel:


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## The Tourist (Feb 4, 2014)

I live just outside of "The Peoples' Republik of Madison" in Wisconsin.  Unlike Moscow, we not only have fat communists, but numerically more of them than during even Russia's Soviet rule...


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 5, 2014)

Thought I would have a look and copy and pasted





> "The Peoples' Republik of Madison" in Wisconsin


on to Google, ran down the list, 'News events for Madison', that might be interesting, first post by 'The Tourist'. Well, well.

Edit, Go to 'images' and three of the nine images are of knives, a big fish locally.


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## Schrody (Feb 5, 2014)

Blade said:


> :nonchalance:I feel the same way about Canada. Thing is there are tourism promoters and such running around distributing all sorts of flashy scenic photos around the world that give a rather unrealistic impression of the realm. What I mean is, I don't spend much time in the mountains near Jasper gawking around all day, OK?ukel:



There's an unrealistic impression, prejudice, everywhere you look. We know that Canadians don't spend that much time outside (hiking), just as we know that Australians don't prepare bbq every day on the beach, or my people all day on the beach. We know, but we like the thought of it.


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## The Tourist (Feb 5, 2014)

Olly Buckle said:


> three of the nine images are of knives, a big fish locally.



I'd like to see the link, it's probably very old news.

About ten years ago on some forums where commercial polishing was big, if you said "Ben, Ken, Dwade, Rob and Chico," everyone in the WWW knew us by our first names.  That changed dramatically, and fame was very fleeting.

The cutlery world is a big brotherhood, and the friendliest hobbyist organization I know.  The guys listed helped newbs, told them where to buy equipment and now companies like Edge Pro cannot keep sharpening supplies in stock.  Even higher-end imported Japanese stones are now common-place here.

The hot place to be for blade-heads is now the knife section at 1911 Forum.  While we do not suffer fools and trolls, it's one big, fantastic man cave of boys and toys.  

I never liked fame.  Frankly, I don't like most people.  I appreciate retirement more despite being a lot better polisher now.


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## InstituteMan (Feb 5, 2014)

My mother ship is currently under more than a foot of snow in the Kansas City area. I am actually out in the country on the Kansas side. For those of you not familiar with Kansas City (aka, everyone:wink, the Kansas City you usually see/hear about is on the Missouri side of the state border, although Kansas has a city of exactly the same name that abuts the Missouri version. If you don't mind standing in traffic, you can actually have one foot in Kansas, one foot in Missouri, and each foot in a different Kansas City.


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## Schrody (Feb 5, 2014)

InstituteMan said:


> My mother ship is currently under more than a foot of snow in the Kansas City area. I am actually out in the country on the Kansas side. For those of you not familiar with Kansas City (aka, everyone:wink, the Kansas City you usually see/hear about is on the Missouri side of the state border, although Kansas has a city of exactly the same name that abuts the Missouri version. If you don't mind standing in traffic, you can actually have one foot in Kansas, one foot in Missouri, and each foot in a different Kansas City.



So on which Kansas did Dorothy refer?


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## The Tourist (Feb 5, 2014)

Schrody said:


> So on which Kansas did Dorothy refer?



Just a guess, but I'd wager she'd like less wind and fewer monkeys...


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## dale (Feb 5, 2014)

i live in indianapolis, IN. population of close to a million. basically the largest "small town" in the world.


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## InstituteMan (Feb 5, 2014)

Schrody said:


> So on which Kansas did Dorothy refer?



I am not a huge Wizard of Oz fan, so I may be missing something here, but I believe that Dorothy was from rural Kansas out on the prairie. Generally when someone says they are from "Kansas" they hail from somewhere in the state of Kansas but outside of the Kansas City metropolitan area. Someone who says they are from "Kansas City" usually hail from one of the two Kansas Cities - either Kansas City, Missouri or Kansas City, Kansas - or at least the greater KC metropolitan area.


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## Schrody (Feb 5, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Just a guess, but I'd wager she'd like less wind and fewer monkeys...



Then maybe she shouldn't eat so much beans, and have... fun with monkeys 



dale said:


> i live in indianapolis, IN. population of close to a million. basically the largest "small town" in the world.



Nuh-uh.



InstituteMan said:


> I am not a huge Wizard of Oz fan,



:havingaheartattack: 



InstituteMan said:


> but I believe that Dorothy was from rural Kansas out on the prairie. Generally when someone says they are from "Kansas" they hail from somewhere in the state of Kansas but outside of the Kansas City metropolitan area. Someone who says they are from "Kansas City" usually hail from one of the two Kansas Cities - either Kansas City, Missouri or Kansas City, Kansas - or at least the greater KC metropolitan area.



I was kidding, but thanks for clarification


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## InstituteMan (Feb 5, 2014)

Schrody said:


> I was kidding, but thanks for clarification



Aha . . . I fear that I fell into a common trap for pedants in this area . . . :wink:


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## Sam (Feb 5, 2014)

In the countryside approximately five miles from the nearest civilisation, in South Armagh, Northern Ireland, a place known both derogatorily and affectionately as 'Bandit Country' because the leader of the IRA, as well as his second-in-command and over thirty additional members, lives in the area (about five hundred yards from my doorstep).


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## Gumby (Feb 5, 2014)

InstituteMan said:


> Aha . . . I fear that I fell into a common trap for pedants in this area . . . :wink:



Uh, oh...another potential candidate for the Cran-key award?





 
                 Name: *The Cran-Key Award*
        For being a self-confident opinionated pedant with the annoying habit of being right more often than wrong.                                                                          _Issue time: 
Issue reason: For being a self-confident opinionated pedant with the annoying habit of being right more often than wrong. _


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## The Tourist (Feb 5, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Then maybe she shouldn't eat so much beans, and have... fun with monkeys



While I'm familiar with the Croatian euphemism of "beans and monkey fun" as being an 'adult role playing romp' I'm not sure the forum knows that, you naughty little girl.  They do know...LOL

I used to play "pirate and slave girl" with my wife, but alas, I started to lift weights and no longer fit into the dress...


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## Schrody (Feb 5, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> While I'm familiar with the Croatian euphemism of "beans and monkey fun" as being an 'adult role playing romp' I'm not sure the forum knows that, you naughty little girl.  They do know...LOL



You learn something new every day. That's what this forum is about, right?  



The Tourist said:


> I used to play "pirate and slave girl" with my wife, but alas, I started to lift weights and no longer fit into the dress...



Ah, yes. The old, traditional, Croatian game. One can't play that game and have it enough. I sewed a new dress for my darling, because he gained a little weight. For the one's who doesn't how it goes: a slave girl is dressed in a slutty outfit (in heterosexual relationship that's always male, but in the same sex roles change), tied up to the pole (or a radiator), while the pirate drinks rum, and occasionally lift up his eye patch so he could see naked body with his good eye. He wears hook all the time, but I don't know how he goes to the bathroom. While the pirate is drinking, and yo-ho-ho-ing, slave girl must free herself. If she succeeds before pirate drinks all the rum, she's free, and then commands the pirate to do anything she wants with words:" dance little piggy, dance". Such a great game. And great for larger company too.


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## The Tourist (Feb 5, 2014)

Schrody, you don't need to write fiction--I'm waiting for your autobiography.

"Crass Croatians and Cutlasses."

If I could somehow get a bow and arrow into your mitts I'd write the screenplay myself...LOL


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## InstituteMan (Feb 5, 2014)

Gumby said:


> Uh, oh...another potential candidate for the Cran-key award?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I like awards!

Oh, wait a minute.

Nevermind.


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## Schrody (Feb 5, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Schrody, you don't need to write fiction--I'm waiting for your autobiography.
> 
> "Crass Croatians and Cutlasses."
> 
> If I could somehow get a bow and arrow into your mitts I'd write the screenplay myself...LOL



We'll think of something.  I'll dictate, and you write. We can fabricate it a little (no one will know)  We're gonna be rich!


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## popsprocket (Feb 5, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Ah, yes. The old, traditional, Croatian game. One can't play that game and have it enough. I sewed a new dress for my darling, because he gained a little weight. For the one's who doesn't how it goes: a slave girl is dressed in a slutty outfit (in heterosexual relationship that's always male, but in the same sex roles change), tied up to the pole (or a radiator), while the pirate drinks rum, and occasionally lift up his eye patch so he could see naked body with his good eye. He wears hook all the time, but I don't know how he goes to the bathroom. While the pirate is drinking, and yo-ho-ho-ing, slave girl must free herself. If she succeeds before pirate drinks all the rum, she's free, and then commands the pirate to do anything she wants with words:" dance little piggy, dance". Such a great game. And great for larger company too.



Everything about that is terrifying.

Nightmares will be had.


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## Schrody (Feb 5, 2014)

popsprocket said:


> Everything about that is terrifying.
> 
> Nightmares will be had.



But... but it's our tradition! And if we can't keep our traditions and legacy, then we're doomed as a species. Doomed, I tell you!


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## The Tourist (Feb 6, 2014)

Schrody said:


> We'll think of something.  I'll dictate, and you write. We can fabricate it a little (no one will know)  We're gonna be rich!



...now where have I heard these exact words before, they're so familiar...

Oh, I know!  It's sounds like the haunting specter of my life and nightmares--the infamous Red Queen.  Beware of young females who tell you how great it's going to be.  Thankfully I love the abuse and drama.

Sounds like a lost cause.  I'm in...


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## Schrody (Feb 6, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> the infamous Red Queen.


 
Nonsense. My hair isn't red. 



The Tourist said:


> Beware of young females who tell you how great it's going to be.  Thankfully I love the abuse and drama.



Ah yes, many fine men fell under their spells. 



The Tourist said:


> Sounds like a lost cause.  I'm in...



This time next year Tourist, we'll be millionaires!


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## Blade (Feb 6, 2014)

Schrody said:


> There's an unrealistic impression, prejudice, everywhere you look. We know that Canadians don't spend that much time outside (hiking), just as we know that Australians don't prepare bbq every day on the beach, or my people all day on the beach. We know, but we like the thought of it.



:mask: Cool. I think that in countries that have an extensive geography the parts that are scenic or remarkable are really rather tiny in relation to the whole and are often remote as well. The national image tends to catch one off guard as it is probably entirely different that what one sees day to day.:nonchalance:


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## The Tourist (Feb 7, 2014)

Schrody said:


> This time next year Tourist, we'll be millionaires!



Nah, just send me a Croatian knife, I've never owned one.  But a million dollars, between my wife and gumar I'll never see a nickel.  A knife I can keep...


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## Schrody (Feb 7, 2014)

Blade said:


> :mask: Cool. I think that in countries that have an extensive geography the parts that are scenic or remarkable are really rather tiny in relation to the whole and are often remote as well. The national image tends to catch one off guard as it is probably entirely different that what one sees day to day.:nonchalance:



It's all marketing.


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## Schrody (Feb 7, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Nah, just send me a Croatian knife, I've never owned one.  But a million dollars, between my wife and gumar I'll never see a nickel.  A knife I can keep...



I'll send you the deadliest Croatian weapon: a tie (cravat).


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## The Tourist (Feb 7, 2014)

Schrody said:


> I'll send you the deadliest Croatian weapon: a tie (cravat).



I understand.  I had to wear one for almost 30 years, and it almost killed me...


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## Schrody (Feb 7, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> I understand.  I had to wear one for almost 30 years, and it almost killed me...



Yeah, we're serial killers all right (in case you didn't know cravat/tie is an Croatian invention)


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## The Tourist (Feb 7, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Yeah, we're serial killers all right (in case you didn't know cravat/tie is an Croatian invention)



Ahhh, so you guys are responsible.

Now, I don't think you guys (would the plural be "Crotes"?) are responsible for the falafel, because one of them almost did me in, as well.  Bieber is Canadian, so I can't hang that on you, either.  I think socialism derives from Marx.

I do have a touch of eczema, and my wife claims I make angry noises when I scratch in my sleep.  I wonder if I'm actually speaking Croatian.  You guys export really dry skin?


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## Daivo (Feb 7, 2014)

well, firstly i am from a dark place in the far north, not to far. I am English used to live in the north east, but moved to Spain as a kid. so please bare with me when i make stupid mistakes while writing on a forum, as this is not an essay. i reserve my best grammar for when i need it (in my book writing) even then i need to reread and edit every 5 seconds but i care not, so why should you?
enough excuses to drive people insane with my "text message" posts. i am currently inbetween houses never in one place too long, beleive it or not i sometimes sleep in a cave house (google it, not so bad on the inside) lovely during the summer when it is roasting hot outside, the inside of a cave is usaully the same temperature all year round, so in the winter it can be a bit chilly but as it is so well insulated you like your chimley and bobs your uncle. 
otherwise i am at a friend flat or my girlfriends flat.
to be honest it is a nice feeling knowing you can change your surroundings easily and never be in one place to long.


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## The Tourist (Feb 7, 2014)

Daivo said:


> my girlfriends flat



Hey, been there...

But just love her for who she is.  Heck, your hair will most likely thin out one day, and she'll still love you.  Besides, flat girls look better in cocktail dresses.  She's probably a good person, cherish her!


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## Daivo (Feb 7, 2014)

i should have used the word "apartment" i think. a lot less confusing, but all is good in that department. Must start growing my hair to the perfect comb-over length, or hair transplant i don't know... you have just opened a whole nightmare of hairlessness. not going to sleep well tonight


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## The Tourist (Feb 7, 2014)

Daivo said:


> not going to sleep well tonight



You keep talking about her in a public forum like you did, and you'll be sleeping with one eye open for quite a few nights.  LOL.

The apartment reference?  She looks more buxom then when she is standing in an apartment?  Is it the lighting?


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## patskywriter (Feb 7, 2014)

"… my girlfriend's flat …" !!! Love the differences between British and American English! I still remember the horrified looks on my coworkers' faces when an English visitor said that he wanted to "pop out for a fag" (duck out for a smoke). LOL! 

Anyway, I live in Durham, North Carolina, a small city of just over 200k. There's going to be some poverty and homelessness just about anywhere you go, but Durham has weathered the economic downturn quite nicely. Much of North Carolina is known for hyperconservative, single-industry, dying towns, but in contrast, Durham is a modern, multicultural city with many industries—no longer tobacco, but now education, health services, high-tech/software, and believe it or not, food. There's a large "creative class" here as well.


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## The Tourist (Feb 7, 2014)

We here in "the colonies" also use the word  'flat' for an apartment.  Here it has the connotation of being a cheap flop house, i.e., a "cold water flat."  Watching him squirm was half the fun.

But back to the important stuff now that he's embarrassed this women on an international forum.  Just how flat is she?  

Sure, point the finger at me, you hypocrites!  I'll bet some of our female members were thinking the same thing!  LOL


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## Daivo (Feb 7, 2014)

No comment, i am no longer going to dig my grave any deeper than it already is, the sofa in her "apartment" isn't exactly comfortable. 
Have to point the finger at someone lol 

Wonder what people would think if you ask them if they fancy a fag.. I reckon nice black eye would follow in some cases


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## Schrody (Feb 9, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Ahhh, so you guys are responsible.



We're making world a better place 



The Tourist said:


> Now, I don't think you guys (would the plural be "Crotes"?)



Plural is Croats, of course 



The Tourist said:


> I do have a touch of eczema, and my wife claims I make angry noises when I scratch in my sleep.  I wonder if I'm actually speaking Croatian.  You guys export really dry skin?



No, we export sun, clear sea, and unemployment  And I thought it's clear we speak Croatian. I mean, this is Croatian forum, right?


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## Schrody (Feb 9, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Besides, flat girls look better in cocktail dresses.



:rofl: Oh, you.



Daivo said:


> Wonder what people would think if you ask them if they fancy a fag..



I'd fancy a fag :icon_cheesygrin:


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## The Tourist (Feb 9, 2014)

Schrody, sorry girl, but I'm a "leg" man.  Tall girls, high heels, a dress slit from here to Zagreb, and I'm a very happy man.

When I think of the woman who rocked my world, all of them were "over-tall and under-wide."

Besides, stop and think of it from my point of view.  It's hard to run uphill all night, if you catch my drift...


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## Schrody (Feb 9, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Schrody, sorry girl, but I'm a "leg" man.  Tall girls, high heels, a dress slit from here to Zagreb, and I'm a very happy man.
> 
> When I think of the woman who rocked my world, all of them were "over-tall and under-wide."
> 
> Besides, stop and think of it from my point of view.  It's hard to run uphill all night, if you catch my drift...



No, it's okay. I like tall girls and high heels too. I love word games, and how you made flat sounds... flat  

I might introduce you to my friend; she's tall (even without heels), and she can move mountains, literally.  She can swim across the Atlantic ocean in 2 hours! Once she had a picnic at the Challenger Deep, it was so much fun (I was in a submarine).


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## Kevin (Feb 9, 2014)

_I like... girls and high heels too. I love word games, and _  Mmmm...Croatia...Curo-o  Ashia....Ah-dree-ahtic...


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## The Tourist (Feb 9, 2014)

Schrody said:


> No, it's okay. I like tall girls and high heels too.



Which begs a question.  Your avatar...

Behind you are red cabinets.  Being an old mechanic, I would *assume* that those are Sears tool cabinets, which usually hold wrenches, drills, Japanese sex robot servo-motors, and bean dip--you know, the common tools a biker might own.

Many of those cabinets are quite tall, and you're standing next to one.  Ergo, it implies height.  In good ol' Amurkin feet and inches, how tall are you?

(Oh, and I need a gasket set for 1987 Tokyo Denki "Koharu" model.  The servo is out again.  Some of the old parts boxes have Croatian instructions, can you help a guy out?)


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## Schrody (Feb 9, 2014)

Kevin said:


> _I like... girls and high heels too. I love word games, and _  Mmmm...Croatia...Curo-o  Ashia....Ah-dree-ahtic...



Ah, dry attic. And I had a such big hopes it would flood, and kill all those roaches... 



The Tourist said:


> Which begs a question.  Your avatar...
> 
> Behind you are red cabinets.  Being an old mechanic, I would *assume* that those are Sears tool cabinets, which usually hold wrenches, drills, Japanese sex robot servo-motors, and bean dip--you know, the common tools a biker might own.



No, it's Bloomingdale's (they have a mechanic section now) newest line of red, shiny, tool boxes for insecure women who would like to catch some muscle guy, pretending to love bikes, and it turns into kitchen cabinets when needed. Pretty cool, huh? Ah, but you forgot a 6" sabertooth tooth which can cut even through diamonds.



The Tourist said:


> Many of those cabinets are quite tall, and you're standing next to one.  Ergo, it implies height.  In good ol' Amurkin feet and inches, how tall are you?



According to Google (damn you metric system!), I'm 5 feet (although I have only two) and 5¾ inches, so I'm almost 6 feet.  Not too tall for you, unfortunately. 



The Tourist said:


> (Oh, and I need a gasket set for 1987 Tokyo Denki "Koharu" model.  The servo is out again.  Some of the old parts boxes have Croatian instructions, can you help a guy out?)



Well, what are we here for? To help each other (and to drink schnapps, but that's not the point), of course. Just mail it to me, and when it comes a month later, I'll be glad to help you.


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## The Tourist (Feb 9, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Well, what are we here for? To help each other (and to drink schnapps, but that's not the point), of course. Just mail it to me, and when it comes a month later, I'll be glad to help you.



Well, you'll have to be careful with Koharu, she's one of the early models with actual skin pores and blue eyes.  Very coquettish.

It does creep my wife out when she opens the wrong cabinet door to put away red shop rags and sees those cold blue Asian eyes peering out from the clutch pullers.


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## Schrody (Feb 9, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Well, you'll have to be careful with Koharu, she's one of the early models with actual skin pores and blue eyes.  Very coquettish.
> 
> It does creep my wife out when she opens the wrong cabinet door to put away red shop rags and sees those cold blue Asian eyes peering out from the clutch pullers.



Nah, I like blue eyes. Bring (her) it on!


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## The Tourist (Feb 9, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Nah, I like blue eyes. Bring (her) it on!



Clearly, you and I have the same taste.  So it begs the question, how does a young Croatian girl come to decorate her apartment in the same fashion as an old Amurkin biker?  And once having done so, how does a girl like that know about Japanese robots...

One of us has serious problems, and I've been tested, so it might not be me.


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## Schrody (Feb 10, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Clearly, you and I have the same taste.  So it begs the question, how does a young Croatian girl come to decorate her apartment in the same fashion as an old Amurkin biker?  And once having done so, how does a girl like that know about Japanese robots...
> 
> One of us has serious problems, and I've been tested, so it might not be me.



Well... it's a family house; it has three apartments. We used to be in the second, but had to move to the first (it's a really long story), so I didn't decorate the kitchen, my bf mother did (because that was their apartment, they're now in the second), she adores everything red and shiny, so it's not my fault  

I love robots, especially Japanese, since they're the most technology advanced. And I'm not crazy, my mom got me tested!


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## The Tourist (Feb 10, 2014)

Schrody said:


> I love robots, especially Japanese, since they're the most technology advanced. And I'm not crazy, my mom got me tested!



I actually do collect Japanese robots.  The one pictured here is quite large.  I wear size 11 Harley boots, and this robot stands taller than the pair in the background, he's easily over two-feet tall in Amurkin inches.  (That's 60.960 centimeters for you.)

I like anything with a motor.  In fact, I think I like machines better than most people.

What does the average Croatian think of knives and target shooting?  Is that your opinion, as well?


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## Schrody (Feb 10, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> I actually do collect Japanese robots.  The one pictured here is quite large.  I wear size 11 Harley boots, and this robot stands taller than the pair in the background, he's easily over two-feet tall in Amurkin inches.  (That's 60.960 centimeters for you.)
> 
> I like anything with a motor.  In fact, I think I like machines better than most people.
> 
> What does the average Croatian think of knives and target shooting?  Is that your opinion, as well?



Cute puppy (and a robot), maybe we should organize some fights, I have a big cat, we should make money  (if someone didn't get it, it's a joke).

Average Croatian guy likes gun better. For work, self defense, robbery... you name it. You can hardly find a man with a knife, and if you do, you're probably gonna be robbed in a matter of seconds. Yeah, baseball as a sport will never succeed here, because all baseball bats were bought by local mobsters and guys who loaned you $1000 (well, obviously, they loan you croatian money) and you have to pay back $10 000. Also, average (not average average, but average as a lot of people) Croatian guy has a hick mentality, and if you deal with them you'll get a headache from their conservative, retarded thinking.


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## The Tourist (Feb 10, 2014)

Schrody said:


> you'll get a headache from their conservative, retarded thinking.



Yikes, you're going to hate Amurkin Harley guys.  We believe that all good music ended about 1968.  We believe Darth Vader is soft on crime--cutting a guy's hand off is for a common thief, not for sedition which should be a capital offense.  The best bikes derive from a 1936 blueprint.  The only reason the USA has liberals is that we flipped a coin with Satan, and Satan won.

Oh well, enjoy the video--it's what I truly believe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2olCKnTVPI


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 11, 2014)

It always makes me wince when I see riders with bare arms, shorts too sometimes.
A little statistic, at thirty miles an hour on tarmac bare flesh abrades at the rate of one centimetre for every yard travelled. Come off at speed and there will be a red stripe on the pavement for the first yard or two, then it turns white, that is the bone grinding off and tendons snapping. Full leathers and gloves for me every time; hot weather? Go faster.


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## Gavrushka (Feb 11, 2014)

Olly Buckle said:


> It always makes me wince when I see riders with bare arms, shorts too sometimes.
> A little statistic, at thirty miles an hour on tarmac bare flesh abrades at the rate of one centimetre for every yard travelled. Come off at speed and there will be a red stripe on the pavement for the first yard or two, then it turns white, that is the bone grinding off and tendons snapping. Full leathers and gloves for me every time; hot weather? Go faster.



I used to race a push-bike (for a very poor living)... One day, when descending a hill, a pickup truck pulled out on me. I tried to go down his inside, but clipped his bumper. I remember sliding along the tarmac on my left side whilst cursing the driver. - I needed 24 stitches in my arm, and the nurses were awed as 'they could see how everything worked', as part of my arm had been stripped bare, exposing tendons.

When I arrived back home, a couple of days later, I picked up my cycling top and a four ounce lump of flesh dropped out of it... Ewww...


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## The Tourist (Feb 11, 2014)

Olly Buckle said:


> It always makes me wince when I see riders with bare arms, shorts too sometimes.



And there's the difference between us.  Much like my mother, you find a problem with every solution instead of the other way around.

I am part of a culture that ponders the possibilities first, not cringing at all of the imaginary problems that might happen.  If you want to stay home, that's your business.

The proper response on this matter is,  "The Tourist is a free Amurkin citizen, and of legal age."  Personally, I find something very sad about any person who's first response to anything is fret and worry.

Heck, you might choke on a crumpet and die a horrid death.  You could fall into the Thames.  The monarchy might waste evermore resources of your government as they sit around, doing nothing.  Yikes, I can think of bezillion ways you could come to an untimely disaster.

I like to ride powerful, artfully built Harleys.  And my teeth are white and straight, to boot.


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## Schrody (Feb 11, 2014)

The Tourist said:


> Yikes, you're going to hate Amurkin Harley guys.  We believe that all good music ended about 1968.  We believe Darth Vader is soft on crime--cutting a guy's hand off is for a common thief, not for sedition which should be a capital offense.  The best bikes derive from a 1936 blueprint.  The only reason the USA has liberals is that we flipped a coin with Satan, and Satan won.
> 
> Oh well, enjoy the video--it's what I truly believe.
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2olCKnTVPI



Nah, stupid/conservative people live all over the world (although, the stupidest one lives in Croatia).


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## irishmoe (Feb 12, 2014)

I'm from Ireland but have been living here in Taiwan for the last 11 years.


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 12, 2014)

Olly Buckle said:


> Come off at speed and there will be a red stripe on the pavement for the first yard or two, then it turns white, that is the bone grinding off and tendons snapping.



That reminds me: I must redecorate the lounge.


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## Schrody (Feb 12, 2014)

irishmoe said:


> I'm from Ireland but have been living here in Taiwan for the last 11 years.



Hello, and welcome!  How's the life in Taiwan?


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## InstituteMan (Feb 12, 2014)

irishmoe said:


> I'm from Ireland but have been living here in Taiwan for the last 11 years.



Cool. Are you in Taipei, Taichung or elsewhere? I have visited on business several times, and I was surprised by how pleasant the island is. Very friendly.


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## Daivo (Feb 13, 2014)

It might be unasuring for you all to know, I own what the Spanish call a "cebollero" which is the typical knife you would see a chef slicing an onion with at high speeds. Mine is just under 30cm semi-professional. Just to set the record straight i do not use it to rob, threaten or kill. unless you are an innocent carrot or onion  it's latest victims include a couple of onions, carrots, celery and a nice 8mm slice out of my index finger's nail... which i have to say is not pleasant at all. the impact of the knife hitting your nail creates a bruise, the flesh directly under your nail is very very sensitive and full of nerves. My left index finger is now twofold it's original size.
But still i prefer knives to guns, as with a gun everything would be mirepoix (irregular cuts around 1.5cm or more) with a knife in the right hands you have a lot more control, and besides who can make a tasty stock or dish with a gun? I'd like to see Heston Blumenthal try who by my guess is the best guy for the job.
Just for the record, don't try using a sharp knife or any knife after a couple of pints, it doesn't end well. 
bit late to reply on the knife gun thing maybe but I had nothing to say about fighting robots.


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## Schrody (Feb 13, 2014)

Daivo said:


> I'd like to see Heston Blumenthal try who by my guess is the best guy for the job.
> Just for the record, don't try using a sharp knife or any knife after a couple of pints, it doesn't end well.
> bit late to reply on the knife gun thing maybe but I had nothing to say about fighting robots.



:icon_cheesygrin: Hey, V brought knives to gun fights, that's pretty bad ass.


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