# Need some help with an idea for my fantasy story.



## Jorian Branham (Jun 27, 2010)

Okay, I haven't worked out too many of the details yet, but I have a main idea of my story. The viewpoint of the story is going to be a third person limited, but I plan on making it follow an old storyteller doing what he does best. I plan on having each chapter start out with the man talking and then fade it in to the story. The story will be about a secret society of wizards or such like that in the current world(I know, it's been done before). The story will follow a new person in the group who later turns out to be the chosen one (Again, it's been done before). There will be an immortal "dark one" who will soon rise, and the new boy in the secret organization will be the one to stop him. I plan on sending him out to the seven wonders of the world to recover seven pieces of armor that will give him new magical attributes to help him defeat the dark one. I think i am going to make the story into an eight part series to fit the whole adventure in. Like I said, I don't have too many details worked out, but I think the story could work. Any advice is deeply appreciated, as well as any ideas for other stories I could start on. Please reply.


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## Loulou (Jun 28, 2010)

Hey Jorian Branham,


Welcome to the forum. Not sure if this query is in the right place, since this is a workshop for actual peices, but I’ll try and be helpful.

First off I like your ideas about voice and that you’re going to have this old storyteller narrate. Gives you heaps of opportunity and scope and piques my interest certainly.

With regards all the wizards that you admit has been done before... really, I have to ask, why do it if it’s been done before? It’ll have to be much better than anything _ever _written on the subject and that’s a tough challenge. Why not begin with something fresh. I know a guy who’s been fortunate enough to have a book accepted by Random House and his agent said they get so many submissions of wizard/vampire novels that they’re sick of them. So I’d really go with some other theme.

Good luck, be sure to post what you come up with.


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## darknite_johanne (Jun 30, 2010)

cool! try to put something more specific in it, and think of more things to put in it that will be completely yours.


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## columbo1977 (Jun 30, 2010)

Loulou said:


> Hey Jorian Branham,
> 
> With regards all the wizards that you admit has been done before... really, I have to ask, why do it if it’s been done before? It’ll have to be much better than anything _ever _written on the subject and that’s a tough challenge. Why not begin with something fresh. I know a guy who’s been fortunate enough to have a book accepted by Random House and his agent said they get so many submissions of wizard/vampire novels that they’re sick of them. So I’d really go with some other theme.
> .


 
Problem is almost all ideas have been done in Fantasy and SF, the idea is to put your own spin on it. You could still do your story just do something to make it original.

just my oppinion. 

Graham


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## Linton Robinson (Jun 30, 2010)

But once you have a secret wizard society with a dark lord and a chosen one.... what's left to be original?   This isn't a plot idea, it's like a template.
I seriously doubt any editor, reader of agent would read pas the first line of a query.

The only thing you've got going here is the 7 Wonders thing.   Try starting with that and figuring out a story that doesn't involve more freakin' wizard boys.  "Jumper" is an example.  

You are either capable of coming up with something that's not_ fanfic a clef_ or you're not.


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## seigfried007 (Jun 30, 2010)

I'm with Loulou and Lin.

The only thing I liked was the storyteller narrator. What might make him cooler is to find out he's the kid who thought he was some chosen one, or perhaps the dark lord in retirement.

Dark Lords have been done to death (but never "done" to death) and always suck. I have seen one that was even kinda decent since Star Wars. 

What makes a bad guy great for me is when he's his own guy, doing what he thinks is right. What might be even cooler is to all kinds of blustering about 'what's right' and eventually have the dark lord realize he's been the bad guy... and stop. Maybe swear off magic altogether. And it'd be better, perhaps, if he kills the chosen one and that's when he realizes he's the bad guy.

Nobody says Chosen Ones have to live, only that they have to do something important. Sometimes, that something important is dying--not necessarily in any heroic or cool way either.


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## Linton Robinson (Jun 30, 2010)

Good news:  You are the Chosen One
Bad news:    You have been chosen to be sodomized by a segosaurus throughout eternity


(Good news:  You are God's chosen people
Bad news:     .............   )


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## The Quill (Jul 4, 2010)

Jorian Branham said:


> Okay, I haven't worked out too many of the details yet, but I have a main idea of my story. The viewpoint of the story is going to be a third person limited, but I plan on making it follow an old storyteller doing what he does best. I plan on having each chapter start out with the man talking and then fade it in to the story. The story will be about a secret society of wizards or such like that in the current world(I know, it's been done before). The story will follow a new person in the group who later turns out to be the chosen one (Again, it's been done before). There will be an immortal "dark one" who will soon rise, and the new boy in the secret organization will be the one to stop him. I plan on sending him out to the seven wonders of the world to recover seven pieces of armor that will give him new magical attributes to help him defeat the dark one. I think i am going to make the story into an eight part series to fit the whole adventure in. Like I said, I don't have too many details worked out, but I think the story could work. Any advice is deeply appreciated, as well as any ideas for other stories I could start on. Please reply.



First - welcome to the forums. You'll find a great bunch of people here only too willing to help. Despite what you might think at times - they all mean well and any remark made is meant to help you - even if at times you'd like to murder one or two - now there's a great story!

Okay, down to business:-

Yes, I accept it's all be done before. However - don't let that put you off. Try to find a new way of telling the story. 

Now - I could not see anywhere in your post any kind of time period - is it 'space age', 'modern', 'medieval' or some other time. Perhaps if you were to (say) shift the time period to something different, you might have a 'newer' version of something old. And that just might make all the difference.

I wish you well and look forward to seeing your opening chapter.


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## MeeQ (Jul 4, 2010)

columbo1977 said:


> Problem is almost all ideas have been done in Fantasy and SF, the idea is to put your own spin on it. You could still do your story just do something to make it original.
> 
> just my oppinion.
> 
> Graham



I disagree, there are ideas that haven't been done before... Obviously, Or they would have been made/written/executed.


As for your idea mate, if i ever pick up a book and the first page reads like something even close to another piece. I won't be read by me, ever.
Originality is the only thing 'we' have that makes us unique; compared to the corporate trollop that is pumped out by monkeys and type writers. (Someone will get it)

Find that special idea, and run naked with it down the road of imagination and creativity. 
Feel free to smoke and drink there too... The ladies of the oldest profession known to man are also welcome; for a small fee of-course.


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## Chris Miller (Jul 4, 2010)

Wow, what a fun thread. Here's my two cents:

You don't need to worry what others think of your ideas at this stage. Really, I'm kind of of the opinion that putting them out there like this is a form of trying to reap what you have not sown. To keep a man from doing a thing, get him to talk about it. The time to try to engage readers (and yes they are indispensable) is after you have put in the hard work. It is then that their more objective reactions might benefit you.


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