# A Hustling Huzzy comes home with me,



## Divus (Aug 5, 2012)

IV *A Hustling Huzzy*
	A young female has come into my life.     I am not exactly sure as yet what I have got, except that her Mum’s name was Molly,      I know now pretty much for sure that she is an Irish huzzy through and through but worse, she has spent most of her formative years in South Wales, itself an area for breeding formidable females.   Being a mere London boy,  I am aware of the battles for supremacy to come in matters of him versus her.   Somehow there has to be an acceptance of the respective roles in life - ie he up on the saddle asks her down in the engine room to go where he wants to go.    But it doesn’t always work out quite like that.

For a start, her in the engine room can claim reluctance on the grounds that the way is neither proven nor safe.    In equine terms that means that there could be a mini strop otherwise known as a shy.   The considerate rider of course has to be aware and cogniscent of such a fear in his equine companion which may indeed be well grounded  but it may also be  a way by which the engineer tells the navigator who holds the power.   In fact this little girl showed her independence long before we left the confines of the stable yard.   Oh she allowed herself to be groomed and tacked up, after all what is there to object about a little preen, lots of stroking and the application of smelly things.     Where the problem developed is that the Old Man thinks that the smelly things should be fly spray, tail disentangler and  mud fever lotion whereas the new girl on the block seemed to prefer L’Oreal.   She is worth it, after all.   If she was blessed by Mother Nature with a long silky tail then it must be swishable at all times.

Once the beautifying process has been completed there is the question of the gear.   Now, she has a broad back, this girlie, and there is absolutely no reason why she should not wear the old horse’s Pathfinder saddle  which is admirably suited for horses with broad backs.  However this Celtic wench has demanded that, if she is to wear Joe’s cast offs, that at least she can be given a nice new thin saddle cloth.     The bridle and bit came along with her and for the first week she wore it, bit included, without complaint.    But for the next couple of rides she threw her head about knowing full well that I had to look for a cause.   So I had to rummage in the tack room for something less controversial.    By her way of thinking if I am to be her master, then it is appropriate that I pay the full price for notional ownership.   Second hand goods may be acceptable but only if the design is classical and the quality irreproachable.   No cheap foreign tacky rubbish will be acceptable    As luck would have it, the thirty year old rolled leather bridle set she chose was too large for her pretty little head and she knew it.    However in the meantime, as a temporary measure, I could utilise the one bridle set that did fit her but only on the understanding that one day in the not too distant future I bought her a rolled leather set, just like one of my previously owned horses had used.   Of course it would have to be hand made.

So imagine, we had reached the stage where we were going out for a hack  That’s exactly where she’s got me at her mercy.      Even though she is only 15 hands high, I need to use a mounting block to stand on, prior to putting my leg over her back.      She knows full well that the dodgy bit for me is just after I put my foot in the stirrup iron, prior to lifting my other leg off the step;  she knows that if she moves away, just a foot will do, then I would be stuck in limbo land.     And a quick side step is exactly what she did.    Then when I dropped down inelegantly onto her broad back, she had the right to jib at my clumsiness.    She has not as yet pointed out that if I were just that little bit more agile then there would be no problem.     I pointed out that if she had not moved away at the critical moment then there would be no discussion.     All I got in answer was a smile.    But I am beginning to rumble what the fundamental issue is.     If, when we are out on the hack,  a call of nature occurs, I have to ask her for permission not only to dismount but also to remount     I realize that if we can’t get this issue sorted then she will have wrested control.      Worse, when we go to the pub for a glass of red, if she decides to be difficult because I have taken too long or because my breath smells or something, then she will have the power to make me walk home.    And what’s the point of using the horse to go to the pub if she won’t bring you home?

Well, after just ten days, that was the stage where we were.   Everyone says what a pretty little docile thing she is, and there she is, with me already wrapped around her pretty little toes.      It will always be my fault if things don’t go right between us - she will just stand  and smile - knowingly.    It is the battle of the sexes all over again.


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## garza (Aug 5, 2012)

This is as good as it gets.


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## The Backward OX (Aug 5, 2012)

I thought you said you wouldn’t buy another horse.




Divus said:


> So imagine, we had reached the stage where we were going out for a hack That’s exactly where she’s got me at her mercy. Even though she is only 15 hands high, I need to use a mounting block to stand on, prior to putting my leg over her back. She knows full well that the dodgy bit for me is just after I put my foot in the stirrup iron, prior to lifting my other leg off the step; she knows that if she moves away, just a foot will do, then I would be stuck in limbo land.


Divus, be grateful for small mercies. Imagine you are a medieval armoured knight. Those guys had to be lifted on to their battle horses with a block and tackle, or crane.



> But I am beginning to rumble what the fundamental issue is. If, when we are out on the hack, a call of nature occurs, I have to ask her for permission not only to dismount but also to remount I realize that if we can’t get this issue sorted then she will have wrested control.


You could always have a catheter inserted. The nurses can be quite gentle, on their good days. 

Cheers.


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## Gumby (Aug 5, 2012)

Oh, excellent!  I am so glad you've found yourself another Irish huzzy. Or maybe, she's found you.


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## Divus (Aug 5, 2012)

Thanks for the compliments Guys - but perhaps I should have made it plain - the horse in question is not to be 'my' horse, as she belongs firmly to a friend of mine  who needs some help in schooling the  mare,    The horse is a baggage - a lovable baggage it is true but nevertheless a horse with a mind of her own.   She is quite a character.

My friend caught me cleaning my saddlery and decided it would be a good thing for all concerned to put me to work.


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## Foxee (Aug 5, 2012)

Divus, I know you've mentioned before that you write without any thought to publication but that's a shame. A collection of these little bits that you write about the horses would be very enjoyable and I can think of at least two people who would love it.


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## Divus (Aug 5, 2012)

Dear Foxee, 
The horse stories are already written and the necessary editing would represent merely a time consuming chore.  There is already enough copy for several books.     The market would be the private horse owner who traditionally buys from the tack shops and the feed merchants.    My writing picks up where Anna Sewell left off over a century ago.

However it is the necessary critiques to shape the book that call for the expertise,which no computor software can provide.   It is a job for the old fashioned publisher who has well trodden access to the equine distribution network in the UK and in the US.      My biggest problem as author  is that I can't  read and judge my own work.   I simply can't view it as a 'viewer' might.   Yes, I have already proved through  the two horse forums to which I contribute that  there is a market for my work but I don't yet have the keys to profit from the knowledge.         I have to  accept that I can't hope to access the potential paying readership without professional help.
My producing a book might be possible but my marketing it and distributing it would present a much bigger problem.   And just maybe I wonder if  it is a little too late in my life to try.

Foxee, this summary pretty much sums up why I have not really tried to  publish.    It would be nice to see my name on a book cover but as it stands, it would be in truth the act of a vain man.

DV


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## tinacrabapple (Aug 5, 2012)

Divus, She sounds like a beauty!  Glad you are enjoying her.


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## TinyDancer (Aug 6, 2012)

_I enjoyed this, I don't feel I'm a good enough writer to offer any constructive criticism, but it was fun and fresh and the part about Loreal made me 'laugh out loud'  _


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## garza (Aug 7, 2012)

Divus - Methinks you misjudge the broad appeal of your stories. Suppose Alf Wight had felt the same about his veterinary stories? Look what we all would have lost. 

The stories and the life lessons embedded in them should delight anyone with any feeling atall atall.


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## Cran (Aug 7, 2012)

Very good. 




> But I am beginning to rumble what the fundamental issue is.


 Is that meant to be _tumble_?


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## Divus (Aug 7, 2012)

Garza, It is not that I misjudge the potential appeal of my work, it is more that I can't see how I, at my age, can find my way into the professional world of publishing.      Over 14,000 viewers on American horse forum have read "DiDi - "Whither goeth She".   On a British managed horse forum  nearly 9,000 viewers have read  another horsey thread written in similar vein.  But regardless I can't see me self publishing.     
To put a book together would call for the critical eye of a professional publisher.  To sell the book calls for a means to collect the proceeds of sales.    
I have approached a couple of the traditional publishers of horsey books, including Allen but, so far, I have never managed to strike a chord with them.

Now that Kindle sells for Amazon more ebooks than paper books I can only see the market more and more difficult for the new and unknown author to enter - unless they go down the self publishing route.


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## Divus (Aug 7, 2012)

Garza, I wrote the attached thread back in 05-30-2011 under trhe title  "Writing the story of life with Joe"

QUOTE 


Join Date Jun 2010 Location Britain Posts 339
[h=2]Writing the story of Life with Joe[/h] I have been writing the book about my horse Joe over five years of more.   It was composed as a series of articles, some of which have been published in the local village magazine, others which have appeared on several internet forums.    The story traces my life with a cussed cob.   

When I had the idea of putting together a book, the articles had to be edited for tense, person and continuity.   Luckily I have a retired neighbour whose job it once was to edit in-house management reports for a major steel company.     I have since re-read the articles so often that I have  became word blind to the content.       The editor made some of his own corrections and in the process some of my individuality and style was diluted.     Nevertheless, eventually 60,000 words were assembled in Book 1 entitled: _’Life with Joe’._

I market tested samples of  my writing on two horse forums - one British, one International.   On the whole I received favourable responses and fairly high viewing numbers running into thousands.   At first I was encouraged but then it dawned on me that any article using over 750 words was too long.   Modern youth prefers to read in paragraph only lengths of prose dotted   by ‘smilies’ and ‘LOLs‘.

In the meantime I had been asking myself where  I was going with this effort.    I contacted a traditional publisher and he was helpful but I soon realized that all of the costs of production would be for my account.    His business was focussed  on me the writer, not the book.    Noticeably the printer’s corporate in house capability to critique was limited as was the ability to market.

Kindle seemed to me to be an ideal outlet until I bought a tablet to experiment with.    Type in: ‘horse‘ and you will be advised  that there are over 2000 titles vaguely associated with the word ‘horse’ including  books on cows.          To be taken on as a writer by Kindle involves working with Create Space and that process again involves spending savings on what is becoming to feel like a project of self aggrandizement in old age.   Also the use of MSWord is not acceptable, I would have to learn to use yet another specialist software package - Ugh!             

Slowly but surely  I recognised that  being selected by a reader for even consideration to purchase  is the key element in selling a book.     Then my wife told me she buys all her books from a second hand charity shop in our local town for a £1 each.     If I were to seek to buy a book of similar content to mine, I’d probably look up the book section in a mail order catalogue specialising in horse tack or maybe I might browse the shelves of the local feed supplier.     Bookshops, which have not yet gone into liquidation, usually stock one or two of the books written by the  famous names in equitation, although they can supply any book still in print as long as the buyer knows the title, the name of the author and preferably the ISBN number.   Sadly my christian name is not ‘Rumer‘.    

My book is directed at the private owner who usually has little interest in competition but who faces every day life coming to terms with  the antics of a cussed cob with a mind of its own.

I decided to print up a hard copy on an A5 format, without photos in New Courier font 12 pt size.   I  bought three A5  ring binders into which could  be filed  pvc envelopes in which A5 pages of print could be interleaved.     I could also include one or two coloured photographs of the horse.   I could even embed videos in colour.       I printed  off a copy of the file of the book  in MS Word on a CD and slipped that into the binder.      I lay the ’manuscript’ on a shelf in my study and went downstairs to sent a round robin email to friends and family telling them of my progress.    Included in the list of 'friends'  were some of the contributors to the horse forum who had shown interest in my stories.        I offered to email a copy of my ’composition’ to them.    The file although huge will transmit as an attachment as long as I chose a quiet time of the day  or night.      Three weeks later I am still awaiting a request for a copy of my book.        

Now I must be honest.    I am retired and I have time to waste.    I am not looking to earn money from my writing  which is in an old fashioned style.   There is no sex,  nor drug taking and absolutely no mention of fashion in  the book.         The story is all about how to stay the boss when dealing with half a ton of  wilful, four legged,intelligent animal which is able to run at 30 miles per hour, equipped by nature with a mouth the size of a full grown alligator and which costs about $5000 a year to maintain.     The story is neither science fiction nor even horror but it is full of action and jam packed with human emotion and frustration. (Isn't that a form of sex?)

Anna Sewell died shortly after her book ‘Black Beauty’ was published.   She earned very little from writing it.      The modern reader can now download via Amazon a copy of her famous, market leader masterpiece for nothing.     Somewhere in all this there is a lesson for me to learn.      Do you think I should take the hint?

PS What should I do about the book: ‘Living with DiDi’ my other manuscript about an equally difficult Irish huzzy of a mare.

UNQUOTE


Dear Garza,
Of course it would be nice to see a book written by me sitting on the shelf of my book case.
But just how do I break into this world? 

There are literally a couple of hundred horsey stories written by me and sitting in this laptop.     Editing those stories for tense, spelling, punctuation etc  presents one problem  but to critique them and to create a constant theme for a book is something else.    To form a book I'd need help.

But where do I find such a publisher these days?    They appear to be a dying breed these days.
DV    
​


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## Terry D (Aug 7, 2012)

Divus said:


> But where do I find such a publisher these days?    They appear to be a dying breed these days.
> DV
> ​



In an earlier post you mentioned self publishing.  That is a very good option these days.  LuLu and CreateSpace are just two 'publish-on-demand' services which can get your collection between covers for you at very little cost.  Here's a thread where some of  the ins-and-outs of self publishing are discussed.

http://www.writingforums.com/publishing/121815-lulu-smashwords-kindle-pod-information-thread.html

There are others in the archives of the Publishing forum.

Just something to think about.


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## garza (Aug 7, 2012)

A traditional publisher would, I believe, be your best bet. That would relieve you of the expense of publicationl. And I would consider dumping the edited version that you say had your personality rubbed off. You chose a non-fiction editor, and non-fiction folk have a difficult time understanding how stories should be told, even when the stories are non-fiction. I speak from experience. Even though your stories are true, then need to be told in an appealing way, and your way of writing has a definite appeal. I know something about horses. For example, if you fall off a big horse it hurts more than if you fall off a little horse. 

I read somewhere that 21 is the magic number when trying to sell to traditional publishers. You have to be rejected by the first 21 before you get into the area where you will find a publisher who shows interest. I have no idea how to pitch a work such as yours, but there are others here who do know. 

The same rule of 21 probably applies to finding an agent as well, and a good agent is someone you need to have on your team. Again I speak from experience.

Follow Terry D's advice about looking into self-publishing, but in the meantime make up a query letter to start circulating to agents and publishers. Again there are people here better equipped than I am to advise you on writing such a letter. There's no law lays you can't explore all options and decide for yourself what's the best way to go.


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## Divus (Aug 7, 2012)

Garza - thanks for the tips and the well wishes.

As far as the falling off is concerned - the height of the horse doesn't matter - it is the speed the horse was going at when you came off that makes the difference.

But if you worry too often about falling off, then it is best you don't ride a horse because the chances of falling off are fairly high.    It is then just a question of what you fall onto as to what you might break.  For sure you will bruise.


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## garza (Aug 9, 2012)

Divus - Truth to tell I've only fallen off one horse and that was my fault for not paying sufficient attention to instruction. This was about a three-year-old quarter horse trained for the show ring - barrel racing, pole bending, calf roping, and such. The horse had never had a bit in his mouth. His handler warned me that the horse had been taught to be very sensitive. So off I set on a merry gallop across a beautiful pasture. I decided to change course a bit and gave the horse a healthy slap on the side of his neck with the rein.

No one told me until later that a properly trained quarter horse can turn 90 degrees at full gallop. I learned that for myself. For sure I did bruise, but what really hurt was the look the horse gave me as he stood patiently waiting for me to get back aboard.


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## Divus (Aug 10, 2012)

Garza

"as he stood patiently waiting for me to get back aboard".

Sounds like you had a good horse there - maybe you should have bought him.

The obvious questions are: 'did you get back aboard & did he stand still whilst you were mounting up?

As far as falling off is concerned, horse riding is one of those pursuits like motor cycling, which if invented in the 2nd half of the twentieth century would be banned by the Health and Safety Executive for being too dangerous.

I don't know of a mature regular horse rider who doesn't bear the scars acquired from falling off, or being trampled on or being kicked.     But even with all my scars and bumps I only wish I had started earlier in life - about 4 years old would be appropriate.

I started to write about how easy it was to fall off, then I realised that if I posted the article, I might tip off the local H&SE inspector.   My fear here in the UK is that some day they will ban or restrict the riding of a horse in the community and confine the sport to the arena.

Dv


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## garza (Aug 10, 2012)

Divus - And the answer is, yes, indeed, I did climb back aboard despite the 'you don't know what you're doing' look from the horse. 

To put this incident in perspective, I was barely 16 at the time and still in my first year at university. The lady who owned this horse and one other was the widow of a man who had bred and trained quarter horses for horse shows. We became acquainted and she asked me to come over on Saturdays to ride the horses. She didn't ride, and the handler who worked for her and had worked for her husband for probably half a century was crippled by arthritis and couldn't ride. It was my first experience riding properly trained horses. Before that I'd ridden an old plow horse quite a bit, and horses from a public stable. In both cases a heavy hand was needed to control the animal. These quarter horses were mind readers, it seemed, and the merest indication of what I wanted was sufficient. The two remaining horses were the last her husband had trained.


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## Foxee (Aug 10, 2012)

I think you underestimate the appeal of the stories, Divus. I'd say send a collection of these to a publisher with a cover letter and see what happens.


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## Divus (Aug 10, 2012)

Garza, Horses can become almost an addiction which will stay in the back of your mind for a lifetime.
We don't meet with many QHs in the UK which is a shame because in many ways they are an all round breed which can be schooled to do anything.  During business trips I've ridden a couple in Texas and California.      In some respects they match with our British Thorobreds in that they can do most things tolerably well and some things very well.

At the age of 16 when you fell off, you would have bounced. that's the advantage of being young.
As for the horse - yes it would have known you were inexperienced from the moment you took  up the reins and swung your leg over its back.
If it came back after your fall and stood by you; then kept still whilst you remounted; then it was saying "Now let's try again and don't fall off this time".
Well schooled horse do not like their master falling off - they know it is their human who secures for the horse what the horse needs in life: security, food & water, shelter & routine.

As for the horse reading your mind, maybe a little, but more likely it picked up from your body language what you had been thinking to do.  So when misguidedly  you asked it
to turn at speed, the horse responded to the aids given off by your body.      If you watch the Dressage at the Olympics you can get some idea of just how subtle those aids - sometimes as little as a turn of the rider's head, can be.     A QH, regularly used for cutting out cattle from a herd, is a very special horse which will respond to the cowboy's posture in the saddle.

The Mexicans, who worked the cattle in Texas, were originally taught to ride 'Doma Vaquera' style by the Spanish.    In Spain, the horse carries the matador in the bull ring - and in Portugal, the matadors actually fight the bulls from horseback.   It is dishonourable, in both countries,  to the Iberian rider for the horse to be hurt.

In a way you've proved my point with your story in that you have held a memory of a horse for a lifetime.   Horses can be magical creatures to sensitive people.


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## Cran (Aug 11, 2012)

Foxee said:


> I think you underestimate the appeal of the stories, Divus. I'd say send a collection of these to a publisher with a cover letter and see what happens.



In the meantime,_ prepare to be nominated_ ...


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## Divus (Aug 15, 2012)

Guys,  				DiDi - the book
	At home we have made a decision that  we will take the first step towards publication and cobble together a  book based on my ownership of a horse named DiDi.   Most of the anecdotes which will go together to make the story have already been written but there is a need to compile and edit the work.

Bloomsbury Press offers a professional critique service and that is what I feel my work needs.

A synopsis of the books runs: that I venture  out,  find and buy the horse which proves to be unfit for general hacking  but which does show an  aptitude for  competitive dressage.    I send her off to school with a semi professional rider.     The pair of rider and horse make good progress and together  they move quickly up the levels of competition.   Then one day, for no apparent reason the horse freaks out.
We try ourselves to work out why suddenly she is misbehaving.  Eventually we call the vet.    After some misleading advice we discover the two ailments which are affecting her, one of which is incurable.      Finally we have to put her to sleep. 
As owner I then suffer severe pangs of grief at her demise.

The target audience is the amateur horse rider, who owns and  manages his/her own horse, and many of whom have had to put their own  horse down.     It could  also click with the dog owner and even the non horsey reader who has lost a close relative or friend.   The book is essentially a highly emotional tragedy.

The difficulty in marketing a book of this genre is that the typical horse owner/rider buys books, if they buy any books, in an animal feed store or a mail order tack shop.       
But let us take the project step by step.   First we have to assemble the writings.

Dv

Oh my, what have you Guys encouraged me to do.


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## Divus (Aug 18, 2012)

*Falling off a horse*
Garza’s recent question about falling off a horse gave me cause to smile.       I started to write this article then filed it before posting it on the Forum.    But a recent press article reminded me of Garza’s question.     

A student rider is never taught how to fall off a horse even though  the chances of the novice falling are quite high.    An accident is more dependent upon the mood of the horse than for the rider simply to lose his or her balance.        If a horse shies for any reason, say a bird rising from a hedge or a sudden unexpected noise,  then the horse might react sharply and long before the novice rider has adjusted to the stresses involved, he/she will find him/herself  lying on the ground.      Every horse rider must expect to fall off at some time.

This weekend Melanie Reid, who is a wheelchair bound journalist who broke her spine by falling off a horse, wrote an article in the Times Magazine on the subject of the Equestrian Olympics,  In the article she pointed out that the captain of the show jumping team had broken his neck riding a few years ago.     Another member of the same GB team  had previously crushed his vertebrea.  A key member of the GB cross country team had also broken her neck a few years ago.  They all eventually repaired physically and carried on with riding as soon as they could.   Even Melanie is presently learning to ride again with the help of the riding for the disabled  (RAD) organisation.

I once asked a stunt rider friend of mine as to the best way of falling off a horse without getting hurt.
Very quickly he explained that what must be avoided is banging the head, even when wearing a riding hatbecause a blow to the head might introduce concussion and other health issues.         Banging the spine might break the back and leave the rider paralysed.    Dropping at least five feet and landing on the shoulder might break a bone or, as a minimum, dislocate what is a complex mechanism.           Landing underneath the horse is simply to be avoided at all costs because a horse weighs 600 kilos ie about the same weight as that of a small car.       Breaking a knee joint is quite easy, as is breaking a leg or an arm.       Putting the hand out might result in breaking the bones in the hand.    

“*No*“, my friend said. “*What is always best is to jump off the horse where the ground is soft before you are thrown off where the ground is hard.”

*He recommended throwing oneself off to the front and over the horse’s shoulder.      By stretching the hands out in front, the rider might protect the face.   My friend  always tried to hit the chosen spot of ground on his well padded stomach and padded knees and then to roll out of the way of the horse’s feet.   Incidentally my stunt man idol got well paid for jumping off the backs of horses and whilst he suffered numerous bruises and the occasional cut, he never broke any bones during his career.    I must mention that in his youth he had been a professional light heavy weight boxer.  I wondered sometimes how often he had been knocked out!

Mind you the chances of any novice rider  being thrown and thereby being  hurt too seriously at the first attempt are statistically not high   so long as you are discarded from the horse in a an arena laid down with soft loose sand.     Riding school horses are generally chosen for being  placid.

What it is important for the novice rider to keep in mind, is that unless you have obviously broken something  serious, then it is expected that immediately after falling off, it is best for the rider  to get back on as soon as possible. Otherwise the brain might get the idea that horse riding is dangerous.        It is.


PS  Horse riding can also become a life long obsession.


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