# prithee, warm thine absinthe thoughts



## jpatricklemarr (Jan 7, 2011)

prithee, warm thine absinthe thoughts
o’er my wicked flame
let fables spill and ease the chill
of heav’n’s cruel game

poets sow their maudlin dreams
deep in papyrus fields
thus reaping there each stanza fair
blessed hubris yields

prithee, wash thine absinthe thoughts
down with water sweet
let metre force the artist’s course
to heav’n’s own heartbeat


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## SilverMoon (Jan 7, 2011)

J - just the most beautiful poem! I will admit I had to look up a few words. "absinthe"... good thing I found it's meaning or I'd be lost. A liquor made of wormwood and herbs. Yum...


You pull off Old English very well. I've seen to many attempted - failures.

I recently heard that writing about writing is not encouraged but in your case I'm sure an exception must be made.


Superb and elegant writing!


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## jpatricklemarr (Jan 7, 2011)

SilverMoon said:


> "absinthe"... good thing I found it's meaning or I'd be lost. A liquor made of wormwood and herbs. Yum...
> 
> *Absinthe is said to cause hallucinations. It was illegal for a long time in the states and, though now legal, the types available in the states are NOT the strong elixer of legend.*
> 
> ...



Thanks for the comments!


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## SilverMoon (Jan 7, 2011)

> *Absinthe is said to cause hallucinations. It was illegal for a long time in the states and, though now legal, the types available in the states are NOT the strong elixer of legend.*


 
Where can I find it! I need an excuse for my hallucinations...


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## jpatricklemarr (Jan 7, 2011)

Order Czech Absinthe Alcohol Liquor Online - Real Absinthe for Sale

It isn't cheap. And there is apparently some ritual involved in its proper consumption. Research is our friend.


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## SilverMoon (Jan 7, 2011)

> Research is our friend. :wink:


 
That's for certain. I'm going for the "search"!


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## Lamperoux (Jan 7, 2011)

beautiful. 

@SilverMoon, i don't think this is old english. this looks more elizabethan (like shakespeare's tim)

this is old english

hwaet we gardena in geardegum.

i don't know why i'm saying this, just feel like trying to be enlightening.


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## SilverMoon (Jan 7, 2011)

Thanks, L. Always up for enlightement and stand corrected.

Sounds right out of The Jabberwocky.



> hwaet we gardena in geardegum.


 
Not nearly as pleasing to the ear as the Elizabethan, noting that J did a fine job which is the real topic of interest. But thanks for the lesson.


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## jpatricklemarr (Jan 7, 2011)

Yea, Lamp, you are correct. And, to be honest, not sure what inspired the use of that sort of language. The first line came to me out of the ether and I was bound to maintain its sensibilities. And, wow, I had forgotten how painful Old English can be. Haven't read any since my college lit courses.

SilverMoon, I'm sure you can find absinthe readily available in your neck of the woods. Cold water and a sugar cube is involved in the ritual, thus the reference to sweet water in the poem. 

J


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## Firebird (Jan 8, 2011)

Loved the first and final stanzas of this poem. Not so sure about the second one though. The meter and meaning don't seem to work for me. 

Thanks for a great read.

Love,

Firebird


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## shadows (Jan 8, 2011)

Loved this Jeff and I don't normally like ye olde English


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## jpatricklemarr (Jan 8, 2011)

Firebird, sorry the second stanza didn't do it for you. Any suggestions? I'm fond of it, but not to the point where I refuse input from my WF comrades. I find I'm wrong much more often than right, so it pays to leave my pride at the door. 

shadows, I'm glad ye enjoyed.


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## darkonone (Jan 8, 2011)

the second stanza is fine, if you change 'sew' to 'sow', and 'thus reaping there'--> i don't know what to change it to, i'm afraid

i don't like the word 'prithee' particularly here, and the first line is really archaic. 

also i'm not sure how to read it, could you say where the stresses are in the 2nd and 4th line of each stanza (or in every line, if you've got the time)? is 'blessed' 1 syllable? is 'heav'n' 1 syllable both times?

to heavn's own hearbeat---> since you're responding so much, could you just explain this too?

in general, it's a pretty good poem, i think you might lose potential readers with that first line, some old-style is fine but it can just be confusing.


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## Lamperoux (Jan 8, 2011)

jpatricklemarr said:


> Yea, Lamp, you are correct. And, to be honest, not sure what inspired the use of that sort of language. The first line came to me out of the ether and I was bound to maintain its sensibilities. And, wow, I had forgotten how painful Old English can be. Haven't read any since my college lit courses.
> 
> SilverMoon, I'm sure you can find absinthe readily available in your neck of the woods. Cold water and a sugar cube is involved in the ritual, thus the reference to sweet water in the poem.
> 
> J


 
it's always fun to read that gibberish. i wanna learn it, but unfortunately, high-school doesn't have an old english course haha. i wanna get into linguistics tho, so maybe i'll learn it one day. 

@SilverMoon, glad i didn't come out as a ... well...you know...smart ass. the only reason english is as 'smooth' a language as it is now is because of the French Normans overtaking britian and slowly morphed thier language with the crude english language. though it didn't sound to pretty either until the time of men like shakespeare.


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## jpatricklemarr (Jan 8, 2011)

darkonone said:


> the second stanza is fine, if you change 'sew' to 'sow', and 'thus reaping there'--> i don't know what to change it to, i'm afraid
> 
> i don't like the word 'prithee' particularly here, and the first line is really archaic.
> 
> ...



darkonone, I appreciate you taking the time to read the piece, but to make the changes you suggest would change the integrity of the piece. I've never written anything quite this "archaic" sounding before, but the first line of the first stanza came to me "as is" and, thus, set the tone for the rest of the piece. I'm not one for flowery language for the most part, as you would know had you read any of my other work, but I won't shy away from it either. Reading only modern sounding poetry would be like only listening to modern music. It would mean someone missed the genius of Bach and Mozart, the majesty of old hymns, the swagger of Dean Martin, the rockabilly of Elvis and the game-changing sound of the Beatles. I would hate to think anyone would think of Lady Ga(g)-Ga(g) as the beginning of good music. In the same way, many of the modern poets need to embrace some of the forms and language that once was common if (and ONLY if) it serves the poem they are writing. Does that make sense? Sorry if it sounds like a lecture, but your reply made it clear you didn't "get" where I was coming from.

J


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## darkonone (Jan 9, 2011)

Very well, I said that because you'd said you just chose those words because they popped into your head, I must not have read the next line, that you felt bound to maintain its sensibilities-- if there is a reason for it, then its fine. 

Again, the old-style stuff is fine in moderation, the problem is it can, and in this case does, lead to confusion, especially about the meter of the last line of each stanza.


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## Lamperoux (Jan 9, 2011)

@dark: Not everyone reads shakespeare and chaucer, but those who do and take the effort to understand it have a greater appreciation for the multi-faceted beauty of the text. it's also an accomplishment that one can be proud of.


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## Chesters Daughter (Jan 9, 2011)

Don't ye touch a word, Jeff. This, in a word, is glorious. I had no problem with the meter at all and my hat's off to you for being able to write "old school". I agree that an occasional trip back in time is quite pleasing, a welcome break from all this modernity. And the message ain't too shabby, either.


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## darkonone (Jan 9, 2011)

Lamperoux said:


> @dark: Not everyone reads shakespeare and chaucer, but those who do and take the effort to understand it have a greater appreciation for the multi-faceted beauty of the text. it's also an accomplishment that one can be proud of.


 
Yes you've made at least that last part quite clear.

By the way, as I said, this is a pretty good poem, I just feel that it could be made better, if I thought it was hopeless I wouldn't be commenting on it. You should certainly change at least one word.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sewing


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## Lamperoux (Jan 9, 2011)

darkonone said:


> Yes you've made at least that last part quite clear.
> 
> By the way, as I said, this is a pretty good poem, I just feel that it could be made better, if I thought it was hopeless I wouldn't be commenting on it. You should certainly change at least one word.
> 
> Sewing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


 
yea, that's what it is supposed to be. it's fine as sowing or sewing. weaving words or planting them...


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## jpatricklemarr (Jan 9, 2011)

Lamperoux said:


> yea, that's what it is supposed to be. it's fine as sowing or sewing. weaving words or planting them...



I changed it to "sow" for clarity's sake.

And, darkonone, I took no offense to anything you said, and I hope you didn't take any to my reply.


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## arkayye (Feb 26, 2011)

My first read back and what a pleasure. Welcome to 2011, however late. It's good to be back.


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## Achilles (Mar 1, 2011)

Thine = thy in this poem.

thy is to your as thine is to yours.

Otherwise, it was a good read. Quaint and economical.


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## eleda (Mar 3, 2011)

My first time back on WF and i was stunned to read your poem. Firstly, it works just fine for me, as on rare occasions, I have enjoyed an absinthe libation. The timbre of your words sets the mood of the piece beautifully. However, the second stanza does lose me a bit, only a bit in this one sentence:


> thus reaping there each stanza fair


 some little nuance in wording, I guess. What do i know, bli me? Lovely and beautifully executed.
Cheers!


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## toddm (Mar 20, 2011)

I like the archaic feel - adds a potency like wine to the emotions
many of my poems have a bit of an old feel too, not old english - just not modern, maybe victorian
great stuff - keep writing!


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