# I'm not worthy. At all.



## JoltedDescendant (Jun 24, 2013)

The moment I joined this forum I've been exploring the different sections of this wonderful community and I always see a common characteristic among writers here in WF.

All of you are experienced and mature. Many of you have encountered situations I have yet to even hear of. I'm still young and I feel unworthy if I ever posted here. I'm not exactly talented or gifted at all which is why I still can't exactly bring myself to posting my intro. It seems very weak in terms of diction and voice. I just lack what everyone here has and I fear that I'll just look like a random teenager who wanted attention. Not to mention, I'm not hard working at all. I'm lazy; I'm incredibly social; I am terrible at facing that facts. And, I feel depressed whenever I see work that draws tears from my eyes. Most of you who post in the workshops are brilliant writers and have years of experience that I don't have. 
Where can I gain that confidence? 
How did anyone here (who is in the same boat as me) find the courage to post something he/she thought as: mediocre, immature, fantasy like, or just wannabe professional material? I just feel so down after reading those beautifully weaved passages.

I don't know if I can be the writer everyone here is capable of becoming. I just don't think I'll improve or ever get anywhere near your level. 
I just don't like to disappoint people. I don't want to be a disappointment and I hate being that ignorant teenager who just writes because some stupid idea just popped into their head. 

I'm probably the most blissfully unaware member there is on this forum and let me just say, I act like an absolute idiot. I challenge myself (like I did by coming here) and I fail/ reach some off coordinate area that no one else can reach. No being can reach it because it's horrible. It is too painful to view or to attempt at reaching. One would have to completely disrupt their flow of concentration -1000000000000 times to reach where I do.

Even after all the help that I gain from posting, I still can't see myself creating the work that some of you produce. I'm glad to have joined but I don't know when I'll grow that confidence. I just hope it's soon. My contest deadline is closing and I have 4 days to make my work contest material.


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## Brock (Jun 24, 2013)

It's not like you are in a physical group -- face-to-face -- where we can all look you in the eyes and laugh at you.  Just be who you are and if people don't care for what you have to say or write they'll just ignore you.  I get this from my wife all the time.  Not everyone here is the next Pulitzer winner.  There are surely many like you here.

They're all gonna laugh at you!
They're all gonna laugh at you!
They're all gonna laugh at you!


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## JosephB (Jun 24, 2013)

You're being way too hard on yourself. Just relax, interact and learn.  It's awfully hard posting that first bit of work -- I remember. But once  I got over that hurdle, I learned my writing was better than I thought  it was -- and I got some great feedback that allowed me to start making  improvements almost right away. And once you get a little confidence, you'll feel more motivated. We all had to start someplace -- that  you're young or inexperienced doesn't matter. Look at this this way  -- you're getting a big head start on a lot of folks.


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## Pluralized (Jun 24, 2013)

Everyone here has one thing in common, and that is the first post. It's true, there are many talented people here, but the beauty of your writing and material is that it is yours. You produce it, and so should be proud. There are many of your peers producing nothing at all.

Don't be so down. It only gets better, and you will learn if you try. Like any society, there are many levels of participants here, not all of them immortal. Only most of them.


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## FleshEater (Jun 24, 2013)

I am not experienced and post all the time. I've been writing now for less than a year. It isn't about confidence, really, but more about the desire and want to learn.

It sounds like you're right where you need to be, already aware that you're not the greatest writer that's ever lived and all those before you should cower in fear. 

To this day I still hold my breath when I hit "Post Reply" in the Workshop because I know what's coming. If you know that you're not that good, but want to become the best you can be, then that's all you really need to get along here. Instead of looking at all the work and getting intimidated, look at it as your opportunity to receive one on one advice from some excellent writers that only want to help. 

My biggest piece of advice for you to remember, is that you've got a long road ahead of you. No one becomes a great writer over night, so write easy knowing we've all been down that road and are all still headed down that same road.

Sincerly,

Flesh Eater


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## JoltedDescendant (Jun 24, 2013)

I don't know what I should reply with. I guess this is all I can manage.

*I will post as soon as possible. Thank you (to all the replies above) for those encouraging words.*

That is all.

JD signing out.


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## Blade (Jun 24, 2013)

Brock said:


> It's not like you are in a physical group -- face-to-face -- where we can all look you in the eyes and laugh at you. Just be who you are and if people don't care for what you have to say or write they'll just ignore you. I get this from my wife all the time. Not everyone here is the next Pulitzer winner. There are surely many like you here.
> 
> They're all gonna laugh at you!
> They're all gonna laugh at you!
> They're all gonna laugh at you!



Good post. I kind of felt like stepping on the poster but could not find any place to hit.](*,)

Any how JD give it a try. There are lots of little cubbyholes around where you won't be noticed at first.:listening_headphone


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## Bruno Spatola (Jun 24, 2013)

Stars can't shine without a spark to ignite them. They begin as mere clouds, gathering more and more material over time until, eventually, they lose stability and falter under their own gravity.

You're at that stage, I think, and it's the toughest one. I remember my first post three years ago, and I felt exactly the same. I knew I wasn't good enough, that's why I came here (you too, I'm guessing?). I was even more terrified when I began submitting a piece of my work, because I had no confidence in it -- I felt like a bee in a hornet's nest. I could only see the flaws, constantly second-guessing myself, fearing my poor disguise would be easily foiled.

Then I got angry, ha. I slapped myself in the face, hit the post button and went offline like a coward. What did I have to lose? 

I came back to a response I couldn't believe: someone liked it! I shed a couple of tears for no reason I could find, then wrote a bit more and posted that too, and even more people liked it. I'd already improved from the great feedback, that _does_ happen overnight. 

What I'm saying is, you won't know until you go for it. You can't generate the heat needed to become a star if you don't, and you _are_ a star in the making; everyone is, I'm sure of it.   

I agree with all that the others have said, too. I'm only a little further along the road than you, by the way, and I still have those feelings. Self-deprecation can be positive sometimes -- that's where my humility comes from -- but don't be so hard on yourself. It's a creativity killer, trust me.  

Good luck. I'd be happy to read your work.

PS: wax on, wax off.


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## Ariel (Jun 24, 2013)

Trust me, wanting to get feedback and help is the first step.  Maybe it's because I'm spending a lot of time around toddlers but it's like learning to walk.  You're going to fall down.  At that point you have two options: get up and try again or lay there and bawl until mama picks you up.  The second option is always tempting but the first gets you places.


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## beanlord56 (Jun 24, 2013)

I'm just as inexperienced as you. I don't post my stories or questions about writing because I don't have to. I lurk around in sections where I find the answers I seek. I still have a bit of paranoia about posting my stories, but I know I will post snippets eventually. Just relax, sit back, stay metal, listen to some sick metal, live long and prosper, and don't forget to be awesome.


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## philistine (Jun 24, 2013)

I thought this was a _Wayne's World_ tribute thread at first.


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## Terry D (Jun 24, 2013)

By the way,  JoltedDescendant, your OP above was quite well written. I imagine you will do just fine.


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## JoltedDescendant (Jun 24, 2013)

After all these replies I finally posted. My friend kept skyping me to convince me and in the end, I just gave up and posted. It's out there now. I'm so ashamed. Gr. I feel like I have to take it down. it's embarrassing to keep up there. No one is going to read it.


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## Staff Deployment (Jun 24, 2013)

JoltedDescendant said:


> All of you are experienced and mature.



:coffeescreen:


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## Foxee (Jun 24, 2013)

J.D., you're psyching yourself out. Just write and quit worrying.


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## shadowwalker (Jun 24, 2013)

Everybody starts out scared, worried, embarrassed - and almost everybody learns, over time, how to improve their writing. They may remain scared, worried, and embarrassed, but their writing improves just the same. I don't know anybody whose first book was worthy of a Pulitzer. And never compare yourself to other people, not here and not in any area of life. You do the best you can; nobody can ask for more (If they do, ignore them. They're probably worse off than you.).


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## Jeko (Jun 25, 2013)

JD, I believe you are going through a phase I went through about a year and a half ago. There is a time when a writer believes they are king of the world, able to craft worlds like Tolkien and characters like Gaiman and plot twists like some kind of supreme literary god. In this time, I believe, a writer has the capability to write reams and reams of stories, but they lack any of the practice or discipline needed to make those stories enjoyable to read.

You are past this stage. Furthermore, you appear to hate it with a vengeance. Good! You are now on a new road - it is like starting at Secondary School after finishing Middle School; suddenly, everyone looks bigger than you, and they can act bigger than you at times. But what they want most of all is to see you advance. It doesn't matter how gifted or talented you are - everyone can write. With writing comes ideas - with ideas, a story - with a story, practice - with practice, evolution.

You are aware of your shortcomings - we all have them! Those who cannot realise them are the ones who will fail, but that you are able to speak openly about your feelings as a writer speaks volumes for the passion and talent you clearly have. Your clarity of communication is _exceptional_. 

You have a passion for writing - that is something you cannot buy, and having it at a young age will not only benefit all the storytelling you do, but all your work in general.

Your work can bring you to tears - _good _tears. I too have wept over my work, at times when I keep trying but it never becomes what I want it to be. It shows one thing; you care. 

The mark of a truly great writer, in my opinion, is not someone who can weave brilliant stories with the greatest worlds and characters and plot twists imaginable; no. A truly great writer, for me, is someone who can write the most awful piece of prose the world has ever seen, and carry on. 

There is only one cure for feeling downtrodden by your own talent, and that is to keep writing. Pick a good time every day, or every two days; make it a routine. Write regardless of how you feel or how you think you're feeling. Write the story.

I have been writing for four and a half years. I spent the first year of that writing the worst sci-fi adventure the world has ever seen. I spent the next year writing the second worst sci-fi adventure the world has ever seen. After that I moved on from sci-fi and wrote the worst fantasy adventure the world has ever seen. Then I became inspired and had a revelation and wrote the worst imitation of Neil Gaiman's Coraline the world has ever seen. Then I wrote something that I got bored of. Then I wrote something that I realised I couldn't get a good story out of. Then I started writing what I'm writing now.

You are already far ahead when it comes to being a writer. The most important thing you need to do now is write. Write regardless of everything but the story, and let yourself naturally progress into becoming a great writer. Be prepared to fail, and enjoy it when you do; those who don't try don't get the luxury of failure, and all the education it brings.

(and I am reading your work; for the first time in my life, I am enjoying a prologue)

Good things to you,

Cadence


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## Apple Ice (Jun 25, 2013)

I'm roughly about your age, JD. Everyone has been very nice. All I'm going to say is stop moping about and do it. All this "Woe me" business isn't going to get your anywhere. You've gotten very good advice from some of the most active and wise forum members, so use it.


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## JosephB (Jun 25, 2013)

Right -- I'd say newbies get to play the "woe is me" card once -- after that, it gets pretty annoying.


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## Jeko (Jun 25, 2013)

It's not a 'card' - it's a genuine artistic phase. I feel like I've only just gotten out of it - and I only did because I kept posting my work here and began to see more clearly the more advice I got. That and I now have a strict writing routine I adhere to. I know what it's like to feel like you're at the bottom of the ladder. The trick is to start climbing, no matter how much it hurts.

(Yay, metaphors!)


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## JosephB (Jun 25, 2013)

It may be a "a genuine artistic phase" -- for some people anyway -- but after a point, that doesn't make complaining about it any less annoying. So you vent (_that's_ the card)  -- get it out of your system and then go about your writing. Capiche?


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## Jeko (Jun 25, 2013)

It shouldn't matter if it's annoying; that's all I'm saying. No-one vents for other peoples' enjoyment.


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## JosephB (Jun 25, 2013)

I know why people vent, Cadence. The point is that once you've done it and you get the necessary encouragement (and I offered mine), it's time to move on and do the work. That's the point Apple Ice was making -- and I was agreeing with her.


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## Jeko (Jun 25, 2013)

Cool. I think I read your post a little more negatively than you intended it to be. 

Personally, I'm happy for people to vent as much as they like. Honesty is the best policy - trying to sweep any troubles you have under the rug can make them more problematic.


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## JosephB (Jun 25, 2013)

Well, venting has it's limits. Asking for help or encouragement is one thing  -- but it's a fine line before it crosses into self-indulgence. This is  especially true "in real life" when you have a captive audience -- it  often burdens people unnecessarily -- and it's stressful for them,  especially if they can't do anything to help you. That applies  here to a much lesser extent of course, because people can simply not  respond. But past a point, it can still be pretty selfish.

Of course, the  OP isn't there yet -- but we've had plenty of members in the past who  have come back time and again to complain about any number of writing  related ills -- they tend take advantage of the new people who haven't  been subjected to it -- and it just gets old. As someone here put it so  eloquently -- at some point it's time to "just shut up and write."


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## Apple Ice (Jun 25, 2013)

Well if it is a genuine 'artistic expression' it has to be one of the most counter-productive I've seen. I can only hope they express it and move on as quickly possible


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## BryanJ62 (Jun 30, 2013)

There's another me out there. Somehow he turned 17 and he hacked my computer. I sound sarcastic but I'm being honest. You are a teenager, correct? Stealing a line from the movie Little Miss Sunshine - _These are prime suffering years._ Your mind and body are growing and sometimes it hard to catch up. You're probably exhausted most of the time. You may not believe it but this is actually an exciting time, sadly you won't realize that until your 30 (give or take). I wish I had the technology we have today when I was 17. Wait: On second thought, no. I would still be explaining the pictures. I guess what I'm trying to say is enjoy the ride. This is the first of many trips you'll take and each one has its own identity. It doesn't get easer but it does get better.


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## BryanJ62 (Jun 30, 2013)

The bottom line Cadence, you never stopped writing. How many of us have walked away after the first try? Me. How many of us realized we were pretty stupid to do such a thing? Me again. Good for you!


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## Grape Juice Vampire (Jun 30, 2013)

Heh. This was exactly how I felt, and it took me a long time before i finally joined and posted. I was so afraid that what I was writing was stupid and interesting only to me. To my complete and utter surprise, the response to what I posted was positive, and gave me the confidence boost I needed. And, the tips I got were very helpful and I'm still using them today. I haven't posted anything else since (life got in the way, slowing all writing for me) but I know that when I do, people here just want to help.


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## Robert_S (Jun 30, 2013)

This is my thoughts on it and it is going to be a rather cold fish in the face: If you don't do it, it won't get done. You'll spend years, decades, whatever, wondering "what if I had tried..." and if you go to your grave with that in your mind, it's going to feel terrible. No one is going to do it for you. It's completely your responsibility.

Lastly, a bit of advice from "A League of Their Own" It's supposed to be hard. If it was easy, everyone would do it.


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## SarahStrange (Jun 30, 2013)

Here's the thing dude, we're all the same. We're all equal. None are greater or lesser than others. 

In the end we're all just meaningless specks of dust floating on a pebble in the ever-expanding, chaotic, crazy universe. 

When you think of life like that (as a buddhist like me does) then posting your stuff doesn't seem like that big of a deal. One piece of dust might like it, another speck of dust might not. But in the end, we're all dust in the wind... dust in the wiiinnndddddd. on an unrelated not-- OMG Kansas.

You don't have anything to worry about. Everyone here is pretty darn supportive and pretty darn nice about critiquing. Plus, we aren't even _allowed_ to be mean on this forum, or the moderators with git 'cha with those big mean red letters and bold faced font. eek!! 

Chillax bro and happy writing! :encouragement::encouragement:


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## popsprocket (Jun 30, 2013)

> In the end we're all just meaningless specks of dust floating on a pebble in the ever-expanding, chaotic, crazy universe.










But yeah, don't sweat it. Everyone here wants everyone else to succeed in their writing. That means being helpful in any way we can. We were all intimidated by sharing our work at first, but as you get more confident it gets easier. Unfortunately the only way to become more confident is to take that first step


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## Blade (Jun 30, 2013)

Robert_S said:


> This is my thoughts on it and it is going to be a rather cold fish in the face: If you don't do it, it won't get done. You'll spend years, decades, whatever, wondering "what if I had tried..." and if you go to your grave with that in your mind, it's going to feel terrible. No one is going to do it for you. It's completely your responsibility.


In a word do not "default".uker:It cannot possibly accomplish anything and will only serve to haunt your days.


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## BryanJ62 (Jun 30, 2013)

_


SarahStrange said:



			in the end, we're all dust in the wind... dust in the wiiinnndddddd. on an unrelated not-- OMG Kansas.
		
Click to expand...

_ 
  I had that song ringing in my head non-stop three weeks ago and now it's back. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!!!!!!!       :deadhorse:


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## J Anfinson (Jul 1, 2013)

JoltedDescendant said:


> All of you are experienced and mature.



View attachment 4738

Glad to see you posted to the workshop. Feedback from total strangers is a great way to get honest opinions, unlike what you'd get from family or friends (they tend to tell you it's wonderful, even if there ARE problems). It's hard to take that leap and put it out there though, I know. But I wish I'd thought of looking for a writing forum instead of doing what I did. After writing a few short stories, and thinking they weren't too bad, I put them on Smashwords. There's no better wake up call than getting bad reviews *publicly* saying your characters are shallow, wooden, uninteresting, your endings suck, and your stories are mostly telling instead of showing. There were a few good reviews too, but it couldn't make up for the bad ones, at least in my mind. I almost thought I'd give up writing, until I discovered that there were forums out there where I could learn from others. So I unpublished everything I'd written, and gave forums a try, and I'm glad I did. Even I can tell a world of difference between my first stories and what I'm writing now. I was nervous posting my first piece on here, but people were nice. I got mostly helpful advice, and now I don't feel ashamed when I post something I'm working on. Some may like it, some may not, but even when someone here doesn't like it at least they tell you why, and how you might make it better. And that, my friend, is sometimes priceless.

Hope to see you posting again. Good luck, and never give up.

J.


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## Cat M. (Aug 12, 2013)

Hey, don't worry about experience or anything. We're all here either to learn, to get something out, or to have fun- and in many cases, a mix of those. I'm fourteen and I'm on here, and though I haven't posted any of my work yet, I intend to do so sometime tonight. So, experienced? How 'bout no. 
Plus, think of this: writers in general have very, very distinctive personalities, and though we (yes, that includes you!) are all different, most of us are really interesting, accepting people with enough insight to realize that one person's trash is another's treasure- I read E.E. Cummings for the first time when I was six and immediately discounted him as bad, then eight years later picked up the same book of poetry and fell head-over-heels in love with "anyone lived in a pretty how town." That to say, there will always be somebody out there who likes what you do. It's a matter of taste, sir, and the fact that one man doesn't like caviar doesn't make it any less a delicacy.


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