# Ways to Defeat a Witch? (preferably funny ways)



## Goob

I'm interested in different ways to defeat a coven of witches. It's for a comedy so the crazier, the better. Right now, I have them killed off by fire, but it feels too serious. I considered water (like in Oz), but I don't think that would be believable since they're from earth and we have so much water here. Something from witch mythology would work best.


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## Underd0g

There's the old broomstick bomb. No ignition so maybe remote detonated.


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## Underd0g

Maybe substitute hemlock root and eye of newt with Mentos and Pepsi. I think it sucks the oxygen out of the room.


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## Underd0g

Peanut allergy.


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## Underd0g

If they cook their children in a gas stove, you could rig it. If it's a wood stove you could put something toxic on the wood.


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## Underd0g

You could hack their iPhone and change their spell instructions. I think there's an AP called 'Spell Check'. I know it always screws up my texts.


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## Underd0g

Convince one witch that the other witch is going to kill her, so that she kills her first.
Oh man I'm tired, sorry about hijacking your thread, I'll quit now.


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## Phil Istine

Underd0g said:


> You could hack their iPhone and change their spell instructions. I think there's an AP called 'Spell Check'. I know it always screws up my texts.



I love this idea - spell checker with buggy coding.
Maybe ingredients in the cauldron with similar names could be mixed up by it.  For instance, the name for deadly nightshade is belladonna which actually sounds quite enticing.  Or maybe their translation software becomes muddled with one of the witches having Germanic roots - the word gift in English means poison in German, so maybe one of them brings a gift to the party and misunderstands what's going on (this latter one need not be modernised with software - it can be a misunderstanding due to language).


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## Arachne

You could have them destroy the coven themselves by getting into a crazy battle with each other. It could start with bickering and turn into casting spells. As a simplified example, one could get turned into a frog and accidentally hop into a boiling cauldron etc etc.


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## Guard Dog

Coat their broomsticks in oil of Poison Ivy and Poison Oak.

...but keep in mind this is only effective if your witches go "Commando". :devilish:

( Then it'll cause 'em loss of guidance control. )





G.D.


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## Goob

Thanks for all the creative suggestions, everyone. They helped me out a lot.


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## Ralph Rotten

Have him throw water on a witch, and she makes squealing noises like she's melting, then says "Psyche!  Water doesn't kill witches!"
And he says "But trucks do" as a pickup runs her over.


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## Tatami_Matt

Trick them into saying their own name, which, magically, turns them into a toad, rendering them harmless. A real pacifist way to defeat witches!


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## Guard Dog

I recall reading somewhere that cutting a witch's left foot off renders her powerless too... but only ones that gain their power through a certain rite... one where they place their left hand on top of their head, their left foot in their right hand,while standing on their right foot, and proclaiming that all between their two hands belongs to Satan.

So maybe a yard littered in old fashioned bear traps would be useful? Could certainly cause some interesting or entertaining moments if someone isn't aware that it has to be a specific foot, and not just one of 'em.

Yes, I know a thing or two about witches... Can't be married to the women I have been, for as long as I was, and not learn _somethin'_ about 'em... 



G.D.


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## Hill.T.Manner

So nobody is gonna mention dropping a piece of architecture on her?


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## Guard Dog

Hill.T.Manner said:


> So nobody is gonna mention dropping a piece of architecture on her?



Doesn't that require a pet tornado?

Edit:
On second thought, I just came up with something that sounds like it belongs in a "Far side" cartoon:
A fellow up in a tree, wearing military fatigues, a woman sprawled underneath, knocked out and a crunched doll house on her head, and the fellow talking into a radio;
"Operation Dorothy is a success. Repeat, Operation Dorothy is a success." :thumbl:




G.D.


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## Ralph Rotten

Sounds like Home Alone but with witches.


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## Ralph Rotten

"And what do we burn, apart from witches?"


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## NathanielleC

Give their shop a bad Yelp review.


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## Myk3y

Goob said:


> I'm interested in different ways to defeat a coven of witches. It's for a comedy so the crazier, the better. Right now, I have them killed off by fire, but it feels too serious. I considered water (like in Oz), but I don't think that would be believable since they're from earth and we have so much water here. Something from witch mythology would work best.



Witches get stitches, yo!

A poorly-wired charge cable for their wand could wreak havoc. Sneezing powder in their hats, tainted newt, or sugar in their tea will do the job.

As we all know, witches love to partake of snuff - but not the tobacco variety. And we know they are averse to sugar and spice and all things nice - I would dose their snuff with babies tears of laughter or little girls squeals of joy.


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