# Ships



## Boofy (Sep 17, 2015)

*Relation**ships*

We set sail
on our new life together.
On a tiny little sloop…
Will it hold in this weather?

Quick, jump ship,
to the next bonny one.
There’s a hole in the hull
of the one that I’m on.

Should I wait?
Should I try to repair things
when another boat is calling,
sleek and so very tempting?

That one sunk
but I’m on to the next one.
With not a cloud in sight,
my next voyage has begun.

Oh but wait,
look out on the horizon!
Clouds are rolling in
and it’s hardly surprising

as I jump
again, on to the next one.
Hopping ship to ship,
never settling for long.

Why, you ask,
don’t I pick one and stay?
Well, I wanna get to Heaven
but I don’t wanna pray.​


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Sep 17, 2015)

....Huge misclick. Ignore the LOL. 

I wish I had something to add. Hrm.... Nope. I don't see anything, as picky as I am. >.> Good work. Enjoyed it.


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## Boofy (Sep 17, 2015)

Aw, get a mod to take her away! The undeserved LOLs, I cannot bear to look at them. Seriously though, tah, Growls :3

I wanted to make it sea shanty-ish. Iunno if it comes through for anybody else but I can't get the damned thing out of my head, hah.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Sep 17, 2015)

Boofy said:


> Aw, get a mod to take her away! The undeserved LOLs, I cannot bear to look at them. Seriously though, tah, Growls :3
> 
> I wanted to make it sea shanty-ish. Iunno if it comes through for anybody else but I can't get the damned thing out of my head, hah.



Well that changes how one reads it...

-Drums on desk, begins a bad Flogging Molly impression- 

I can see it. It stands nicely as a poetic piece...

...But if, say, a chorus was added, one might could sing it like a drunken sailor. ;}


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## Boofy (Sep 17, 2015)

Ah, now there is an idea, first mate Growls. You're on! :3


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## Bard_Daniel (Sep 17, 2015)

Nice! It had a crisp quality to the lines. The metaphor you were working with was well done as well.

Cheers Boofles!


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## Boofy (Sep 18, 2015)

danielstj said:


> Nice! It had a crisp quality to the lines. The metaphor you were working with was well done as well.
> 
> Cheers Boofles!


Aw, Daniel, thank you! :3 And a Boofles to boot. Ain't this day already great?

I guess this one was a jokey piece about people not sticking with relationships. Doesn't matter where you jump ship to. You're on the high seas. Unless you become a landlubber (more commonly known as the bachelor) you're going to end up with the same problems eventually. Captain a ship and go down with her if need be, damn it. That is your job. You can't just up sticks and abandon ship at the first sign of trouble. Unless there is absolutely nothing to salvage, surely that original love can be brought to the fore again? Surely your first thought should be for the relationship, and not for a do-over. You've got to know the next one is going to be just as hard.

Everything is instant gratification these days. You can instant message, there's fast food, billions of apps and convenience items, all seemingly designed to destroy what was left of our concept of patience. My sister has had four fiancée's in as many years. I can't help but think that society's new definition of "the one" is flawed if we insist on finding a partner without any baggage or upkeep. Romance as a genre gave us hefty expectations but, unlike in the stories, the honeymoon stage isn't everlasting. That is why we named it so. There is a good reason why the guy-gets-girl scene typically comes riiiiiiight at the end of a movie. ;D

Tah for reading, Mr ^^


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## Mesafalcon (Sep 18, 2015)

*Relation**ships*

I like when people do creative stuff like this. I was expecting some poem about the ocean.

+1 on that directly from the falcon's mouth - or beak?


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## Boofy (Sep 18, 2015)

Silly wordplay is just about my favourite thing, Mesa. I actually have rocks with "ON" and "'N' Roll" painted on them in bold print. I am rather pleased with it myself, as titles go, Really glad you're on board! :3

And thanks so much for the +1! I am going with beak. Beak feels right to me. ^^


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## Mesafalcon (Sep 18, 2015)

Boofy said:


> Silly wordplay is just about my favourite thing, Mesa.



I'll give you half credit on that comment, cause the poem itself is not that silly. I mean - it can be  A LOT more silly!


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## JustRob (Sep 18, 2015)

Being such a well-balanced person, but perhaps not when the sea is rough, I shall make equally well-balanced comments. What else would you expect of me? No, don't answer that.

The line "Should I try to repair things" didn't work for me, maybe because "things" is too vague and upsets the rhyme. I'd suggest something like "Should I work at repairing the thing" but you'll have jiggle it to scan well probably. "the thing" eliminates both the vagueness and the rhyme discrepancy. Well, that's exhausted my ability to focus at this time in the morning. 

I loved the sentiment in the last verse and it's also the one where the rhythm was clearest. I struggled with the fit of the words in some of the others. Isn't that the sentiment of the whole piece though, jumping from one imperfect experience to another until the perfect one falls into place at the end, or am I being too profound?

Oh dear. Since my angel wrote _that_ poem I'm reticent to mention a certain work of mine which tackles the real problem in life, how anyone can live happily ever after the fairy tale has ended. Only the lucky few can find the right ship and sail off into the sunset. Come to think of it though, at the end of the novel that I _haven't_ written yet ...


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## Boofy (Sep 18, 2015)

You know I've got to say, Rob, that line really doesn't gel well with me either. There are a couple that break the flow a little throughout. That whole verse is a bit of a nightmare, if I am honest. It could probably use a harsh revision, loathe as I am to mess around with it.

Mornings are usually my thing, though this particular morning has me questioning whether I am actually a morning person, or whether all other mornings were flukes, and this particular morning is the defining one. Befuddled isn't the word... I'll find something to suitably describe it tomorrow morning. 

I couldn't have asked for better critique at such an early hour! Of course, you're a pleasure to talk to; Sharp, insightful and charming as ever. Thank you for your help :3


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## Sonata (Sep 18, 2015)

Boofy said:


> Aw, get a mod to take her away! The undeserved LOLs, I cannot bear to look at them.



I also accidentally hit LOL - apologies galore.  For some unknown reason I had taken my specs off so could not see what I was doing.


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## Boofy (Sep 18, 2015)

Well my LOL was intentional! Hehe. I seem to be getting misplaced LOLs thrown at me of late (not that I am entirely complaining ;D).

Thank you for the likes and yes, for the LOL too, Sonata, accidental or no! :3


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## JustRob (Sep 18, 2015)

Boofy said:


> Of course, you're a pleasure to talk to; Sharp, insightful and charming as ever. Thank you for your help :3



Sweet words won't win me over now, not since you've declared your feelings about Martin Freeman. I mean, Manchester isn't even a shire county, or are you sort of beyond its boundaries? Manchestershire would sound like a Victoria Woodism if you aren't. Go ahead and abandon your sinking ships then. I'll stay with mine until it sinks, not that my angel would ever let that happen. Once more unto the breach dear friends, once more. Or close the wall up with our uncle Fred. He was actually a very strange man, but my family preferred not to talk about him.

Of course, speaking of family, jumping ship has its consequences. If my grandfather hadn't jumped ship in London then I might have known who my ancestors were. Actually though, if he hadn't I wouldn't be here or anywhere at all, would I? Forget that then. Too philosophical, or do I mean existential?


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