# Rambling Thoughts -- Why does there have to be a "U" in Humor?



## ClosetWriter (Feb 26, 2011)

Ha ha - oops make that another "U" in humour.

I have always wanted to write a book, but have never been able to keep focused long enough. I have started several literary journeys, but each has ended, sadly, a couple blocks from home. I always find myself disoriented and lost; not even a GPS could get me back on track.

My goal has been to author something compelling and deep. However, getting something “deep” from a “shallow” mind can be an overwhelming task. I can’t keep focused long enough to stay on subject for more than a paragraph or two, but if I could write a book of rambling thoughts, with no particular direction other than the fact that they sit next to each other on a page – then I might have something. Hmmmm – now where was I? Wow – this is going to be harder than I thought.

Okay – okay, so where do I start? What should I start rambling about? It is raining today. Rain is good, right? We need the rain. Farmers need the rain. I saw a couple farms, on the way in to work, with their hay fields laying cut in rows waiting to be bailed. I say bailed, but most of them don’t seem to be bailing it any more. It seems to me that most of them gather it into big rolls now. 

I always loved farms in the summer time. When I was a kid there were many farms around my house. A field that was half corn and half alfalfa butted right up to our back yard. I used to play in the corn all summer long. Cornfields actually have their own sound. I remember finding a small tree that grew along the fence that separated the two crops. I would climb up, and sit on a branch that reached out over the corn side of the fence. The warm, gentle, summer-breeze would make the corn stalks rattle. It was hypnotic, and I sat there for what seemed like hours. I wish I could still do that. Why can’t I? Probably because when someone sees a kid walking through their field, they assume he is just exploring, and they laugh about it. However, when someone sees a fifty-year-old man walking through their field he is trespassing, and they call the police. That really isn’t fair. 


I love nature, and could spend days exploring. I think I would have been a great explorer. The problem with me being an explorer now is that the glory days of exploration are long gone. Oh sure – I could explore the vast untouched planets of our galaxy, but that would take a few more resources than I have available. I would have to build a rocket ship (although I should be able to find some plans on Google). Back in the glory days all you needed was a horse, and a little bit of beef jerky. I could probably come up with both of them if I tried hard enough. However, any place that I could reach, today, with a horse as my mode of transportation would not be much of a discovery, so why bother. I want some beef jerky.

I have had many great ideas in my life, and if they hadn’t later turned out to be stupid they might have worked. I did invent the Reebok Pump tennis shoe. I told my wife about the idea of pumping up a tennis shoe, and while I was devising my marketing strategy -- Reebok was somehow able to steal the idea from my head, and beat me to the punch. I have to take blame for that. I wasted too much time trying to come up with my business plan; that’s how they beat me to the market. I was trying to be thorough. There were many issues that had to be resolved before I took “my” version to the market. What color should they be? Which, later to be indicted pro athlete, should I pick to endorse the product? How over-priced should they be? And last but not least, which third-world orphans should I employ in my sweatshops. Business can be a complicated thing.

After having my idea stolen right out from under me (by the man), I have learned to do things a little different. Before I put too much effort into anything I research it. I turn to the world’s expert on research – Google. Recently, while looking up a few ideas that I had, I found out that someone else had, not only thought of the same thing, but they have also taken the time to create a web site, and post it online. I decided there is no such thing as a unique idea. It doesn’t matter what I come up with some smartass has already thought of it. No wonder they keep making sequels to movies, and remaking old songs; there are no more fresh ideas left in the world – so sad. Mankind has contemplated every scenario that could ever be imagined, and tried to make a buck off of it. 

There is nothing wrong with making a buck; Lord knows I sure could use a few. I find it very interesting how other people never seem to have enough. Everyone always thinks they need more. I would just like to have enough to pay my bills, keep my house looking nice, keep the cars in good running order, have food on the table, take nice vacations from time to time, have a nice nest egg in the bank, a decent roll of cash in my pocket, a cabin on 100 acres surrounded by woods with private lakes and wildlife in abundance, a bank account big enough to influence the power hungry politicians that will change laws to benefit me, and all my endeavors as I slither through life devouring everything, and everyone that gets in my way of making more, and more, and more money as I go. That’s all I need, and I would be happy. I don’t know why people have to be so greedy.

The bottom line is being happy. When I was a kid being happy meant sitting down, and watching cartoons while I ate my Captain Crunch cereal. Things have sure changed since then. For one, I found out that even though they say something is fortified with 12 essential vitamins it doesn’t necessarily mean it is good for you. Then again no one really worried too much about what was good, or bad, for you because we trusted everyone. We actually ate spam, and I don’t mean the unwanted email kind.

Okay – I’m bored. I got to run; cartoons are coming on.


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## Stephanie Jones (Mar 7, 2011)

I can't count the number of "books" I have started, only to watch them fall to pieces. I loved this line, "but if I could write a book of rambling thoughts, with no particular direction other than the fact that they sit next to each other on a page". It made me chuckle. I feel the same way when I look at the various attempts to accomplish a manuscript. I suppose we should both just keep at it and let the editors figure the rest out. 
I guess. 
Either way, your voice seems to be needed and I encourage you to write more.


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## Baron (Mar 7, 2011)

> Rambling Thoughts -- Why does there have to be a "U" in Humor?
> Ha ha - oops make that another "U" in humour.



Because the Brits and the Aussies spell properly.


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## ClosetWriter (Mar 7, 2011)

Eye do knot dowt that... Mysellf -- I kount on help frum Microsoft Werd's speel-chek. Forgive mee butt it is brokun at the moement.


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## Sir Roberts (Apr 30, 2011)

Baron said:


> Because the Brits and the Aussies spell properly.


 
Baron is most correct.


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## Courtjester (May 18, 2011)

Dear ClosetWriter – there’s many a true word spoken in jest! Delightful ramblings! I am sure many of us are familiar with the sentiments you express. I thoroughly enjoyed your outpouring. How about some more? 
​Regards,​The Courtjester​


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## ClosetWriter (May 18, 2011)

Thank you sir. I have not posted in quite some time, but am about to right now on the non-fiction thread. 

Thanks again.


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## Bruce Wayne (Jul 7, 2011)

Who would have thought so much could have come from and opening statement of "it's raining today".


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## MissTiraMissSu (Jul 16, 2011)

This, I like. Rambles are great for when you're low on creativity~
You have... inspired me!
Thanks!


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## ClosetWriter (Jul 19, 2011)

MissTiraMissSu said:


> This, I like. Rambles are great for when you're low on creativity~
> You have... inspired me!
> Thanks!



I am glad you liked it... I may even try it again.


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## Bloggsworth (Jul 20, 2011)

Baron said:


> Because the Brits and the Aussies spell properly.



No - It's because others spell improperly...


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## Prof (Jul 29, 2011)

Improperly ?  Nonsense, Mark Twain had it right.  "I have no respect for a  man who can't think of more than one way to spell a word."


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## ChicagoHeart (Aug 1, 2011)

rambling is good exercise...


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