# A Woman's Daydream



## jenthepen (Jan 24, 2015)

If men were perfect, just imagine
how delightful that would be...

Never thoughtless, never boring,
no more nights of grunts and snoring,
always turning up with flowers,
talking sweet romance for hours;  
treats to eat, champagne to drink
and no more whiskers in the sink.
Love notes on the bed would rest,
instead of dirty socks and vest.
He’d never shout, he’d never moan.
If running late, he’d always phone.

If men were perfect, just imagine
how delightful that would be…

…but one snag in my mind is stirring, 
just one thought keeps reoccurring;
when he’s left all his faults behind,
might he not start to notice mine?


----------



## LeeC (Jan 24, 2015)

Been watching your pieces to see how you achieve such natural rhythm, counting syllables and looking at word choices, still thinking I'm missing something :-(

I tell myself that I get carried away with what I'm trying to say, but this piece pokes another hole in my comprehension. Best I just enjoy, and stick to my prose 

I can't help but mention this brought to mind a couple quotes, if you'll forgive me.

"The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book."  ~  Wilson Mizner

"We owe to the middle ages the two worst inventions of humanity — gunpowder and romantic love."  ~  André Maurois


----------



## Firemajic (Jan 24, 2015)

jen--I have one word--Perfection!!! From content, rhythm, to rhyme this just flows flawlessly. It is lyrical! And--No, he would not notice my faults--I have none...lol.  Thank you for sharing this delightful poem with me.    Peace always...Julia


----------



## Gumby (Jan 24, 2015)

_*Le gasp!* _ you mean we ladies aren't perfect already? 

LOL! Good one, jen, really enjoyed this.


----------



## Nellie (Jan 24, 2015)

jenthepen said:


> when he’s left all his faults behind,
> might he not start to notice mine?



[-( Never! 

Wonderful daydream! Thanks for making my day!


----------



## QDOS (Jan 25, 2015)

Dream on sister, to you I paraphrase, [FONT=&Verdana]
To work through this haunting maze, [/FONT]
Fixed beneath your constant gaze,
Not letting your hopes be raise, 
For us Men we have our ways,
Wearing a smile to amaze. 
And avoid all dismays,
PER-FIC! Always!

  QDOS


----------



## jenthepen (Jan 25, 2015)

Hmmm, those soft 'man smiles' are pretty irresistible, I'll give you that.


----------



## aj47 (Jan 25, 2015)

*NitCentral:* when he has left his faults behind,

It works better with the phrasing of the line that follows.

I enjoyed this.


----------



## rcallaci (Jan 25, 2015)

The beat, pace and rhythm flow and glide into each other to create a perfect storm of poetic wonder. I couldn't find a tic or a flaw in this piece. It was beautifully written ,witty, funny, a little sardonic and a little dash of sarcasm. Those writing bones are quite amazing.

<< Astroannie stated: NitCentral: when he has left his faults behind,

It works better with the phrasing of the line that follows>>

I could see her point -but leaving the 'all' in- places a heavy accent on the last word of the poem- MINE- Why mess with per....


my warmest
bob


----------



## escorial (Jan 25, 2015)

all builds to the last line for me..then it levels out..cool


----------



## jenthepen (Jan 26, 2015)

Thank you, everyone, for the great comments, laughter, suggestions and compliments! I wrote this as a bit of fun and wasn't sure if it was a little too flippant to post. I'm glad I did and relieved that I didn't start a sex war! What a fun and friendly place this is! :cheers:


----------



## Olly Buckle (Mar 14, 2015)

astroannie said:


> *NitCentral:* when he has left his faults behind,
> 
> It works better with the phrasing of the line that follows.
> 
> I enjoyed this.



I also looked at this line nd wondered about 'all', then I decided I could live with that, it is only a change of emphasis, but wanted to lose 'not' from the next line.
when he’s left all his faults behind,
might he start to notice mine?
but it really is nit picking personal taste. More interesting is how long you have been discussing my faults with the missus?


----------

