# Important things about furniture



## qwertyman (Jan 22, 2017)

I really have not time for this, but I have spent the last hour aligning the rectangular coffee table with the edge of the sofa.

It just doesn't work.

Any suggestions?


P.S No Japanese solutions, they do my head in.


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## PiP (Jan 22, 2017)

What shape is the sofa?


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## Bloggsworth (Jan 22, 2017)

I have, but I'm not sure you'd want to hear it.


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## qwertyman (Jan 22, 2017)

PiP said:


> What shape is the sofa?



Depends where you're standing.


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## PiP (Jan 22, 2017)

qwertyman said:


> Depends where you're standing.



So are you trying to align the edge of a straight table with the edge of a curved sofa? If so, think outside the box


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## qwertyman (Jan 22, 2017)

Bloggsworth said:


> I have, but I'm not sure you'd want to hear it.



Wait! don't say anything. 

I forgot to mention; where do I put the ashtray?

Yeah, it's that serious.

Somebdy's sniggering, I can hear them...probably Dither.


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## PiP (Jan 22, 2017)

I was trying to keep a straight face because it's just the sort of question my husband asks


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## Ariel (Jan 22, 2017)

A coffee table should be about two and a half feet from the edge of the sofa and be centered to the main portion. The ashtray goes on the right edge and roughly half a foot in.


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## Kevin (Jan 22, 2017)

What a mysterious thread.


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## Phil Istine (Jan 22, 2017)

It doesn't matter so long as the coffee table is close enough to the sofa so that you can put your feet up on it.


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## Bloggsworth (Jan 23, 2017)

Ariel said:


> A coffee table should be about two and a half feet from the edge of the sofa and be centered to the main portion. The ashtray goes on the right edge and roughly half a foot in.



Left foot or right foot?


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## qwertyman (Jan 23, 2017)

PiP said:


> So are you trying to align the edge of a straight table with the edge of a curved sofa? If so, think outside the box



Box! What Box? There's no room for a box. 

Wait...are you suggesting I put the sofa in a box? That might work. The box would have to align with the ashtray and...erm...and I could sit on the coffee table. This needs more thought.


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## sas (Jan 23, 2017)

This is a sign to throw out the ash tray.


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## qwertyman (Jan 23, 2017)

sas said:


> This is a sign to throw out the ash tray.




Gasp! 

That's what this Japanese Feng-jitsu (whatever) bloke suggested. Well not exactly, he said the ash tray was the elephant in the room. No, what he really said was, 'the ash tray was the whale in the bath', which is when I broke down. 

I started off with a sofa, a coffee table and an ashtray and now I have a box, some feet, a bath and, a whale ...and, an Oxford comma.


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## Ariel (Jan 23, 2017)

Bloggsworth said:


> Left foot or right foot?


I'm American so that would be imperial standard measurement.  30 inches is the distance it should be--or about a leg-length.


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## Bloggsworth (Jan 23, 2017)

Thats a "Jambe," we've gone metric...


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## qwertyman (Jan 27, 2017)

Okay, nobody leaves until the person who moved the coffee table puts it back where it was.




And cake is canceled.


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## PiP (Jan 27, 2017)

qwertyman said:


> And cake is canceled.



*sulks* not even cookies? I just made a special batch of square cookies.


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## ppsage (Jan 27, 2017)

Is the table made out of coffee or just coffee-colored? Cause if it's not real coffee, just toss it now.


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## sas (Jan 27, 2017)

Ariel said:


> I'm American so that would be imperial standard measurement.  30 inches is the distance it should be--or about a leg-length.



Others knees would bump using my leg measurement. I'm 5 feet when I lie (not down). And, if you don't call it a cocktail table (be classy, baby), then call it what it is: a stinky feet table.


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## escorial (Jan 27, 2017)

If the baliffs arrive put coffee table..Lot 203 on top of lot 204....All your concerns forgotten...


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## qwertyman (Jan 28, 2017)

ppsage said:


> Is the table made out of coffee or just coffee-colored? Cause if it's not real coffee, just toss it now.



No it is not made out of coffee and it is not coffee coloured. (Sigh!) In that respect it is an impostor. (Bigger sigh!) If it helps, in future I will call it the 'de-caff table'. 

Here is a picture.


 The sofa is not mine and was borrowed for demonstration purposes only (I have my reasons). Obviously, this in the care-free days before the ashtray. You see my problem?


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## ppsage (Jan 28, 2017)

I thought this was becoming a hopeless situation but from the picture I believe I see the problem. That's not a coffee table. Not even a de-caff. It's a doghouse with the sides removed for cleaning. I suggest getting a dog that doesn't smoke and forgetting about the ashtray.


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## PiP (Jan 28, 2017)

You need a side table not a coffee table.


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## qwertyman (Jan 28, 2017)

sas said:


> ... I'm 5 feet when I lie (not down). And, if you don't call it a cocktail table (be classy, baby), then call it what it is: a stinky feet table.



Thank you, I used to have a cocktail table, but nowadays you can't get the staff.

If you are applying for the situation, I am afraid you are over qualified...having five feet, only two being necessary.

Hands up who can spot the other problem with this table.

Cake for the correct answer, (not recommended for diabetics).


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## sas (Jan 28, 2017)

Which table? Glass or wood one? I prefer the glass one, and love that I can easily change the support system when bored. Hmmm. Could I ever get bored?

Your wood table is way too anal (of course, so is your glass one...but ...butt, it has a reason). Put it underneath that window. Find more interesting art objects to place on it. Pay attention to varying heights. Get side table, as suggested. Lose the ash tray. It says "idiot lives here." Smiles. Sas


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