# Abortion: My Story, My Heartache



## ashleyc8705 (Feb 3, 2008)

This is my third published article. It is not for the faint hearted. Please do not preach or lecture to me. I know I have made mistakes and I am only human. Please do enjoy. 


Abortion: My Story, My Heartache - Associated Content


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## Scott Tuplin (Feb 18, 2008)

This reminded me so much of a friend of mine, who is also serving a jail sentence at the moment but not for anything as serious as sex offences.

Only difference is that his girlfriend decided to keep the baby, and perhaps isn't doing as well as she would be if the father was around but is still bringing up the baby girl as best she can. 

She has the support of friends & family, however, and I was just wondering that if you had had that same support would you have kept the baby?

I understand this is a very sensitive subject for you, so don't feel you have to answer.


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## devilcurls6981 (Feb 18, 2008)

wow.... thats really powerful.


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## Truth-Teller (Feb 18, 2008)

I have a question: are you going to tell your husband?

If you were raped, I'd understand. You weren't raped. You went along with it--with him. I call that selfish.

What have you learned? Trust no one. Trust no man until the day you die.


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## JosephB (Feb 18, 2008)

You feel you did what you had to do. It's done. So I hope you can forgive yourself.



> I have a question: are you going to tell your husband?
> 
> If you were raped, I'd understand. You weren't raped. You went along with it--with him. I call that selfish.
> 
> What have you learned? Trust no one. Trust no man until the day you die.


I agree whole-heartedly. Dying alone, hating the world, can't be as bad as all that. And you can always have a dozen cats or so to keep you company in the meantime. 

I wish we could hang Truth-Teller. 'Cause man, you always _nail it._


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## devilcurls6981 (Feb 19, 2008)

Truth-Teller said:


> I have a question: are you going to tell your husband?
> 
> If you were raped, I'd understand. You weren't raped. You went along with it--with him. I call that selfish.
> 
> What have you learned? Trust no one. Trust no man until the day you die.



woah.... yeah it wasn't rape but it was still a bad situation to bring a child into.
So, who are you to call her selfish, its her body not yours, so you have no right to judge what she did with it. And she told you not to preach, and what do you do, preach.


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## SevenWritez (Feb 20, 2008)

devilcurls6981 said:


> woah.... yeah it wasn't rape but it was still a bad situation to bring a child into.
> So, who are you to call her selfish, its her body not yours, so you have no right to judge what she did with it. And she told you not to preach, and what do you do, preach.


 
Forums such as this should allow for a multitude of opinions. She is sharing a story, and if she doesn't want to receive criticism for it--be it personal or technical--then she shouldn't post it in the first place. Truth-Teller spoke his mind just as he has the right to. Get off your horse.


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## devilcurls6981 (Feb 20, 2008)

SevenWritez said:


> Forums such as this should allow for a multitude of opinions. She is sharing a story, and if she doesn't want to receive criticism for it--be it personal or technical--then she shouldn't post it in the first place. Truth-Teller spoke his mind just as he has the right to. Get off your horse.



yes, I know this. If he/she can say what they feel I can.


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## MusicSoundsBetterWithYou (Feb 20, 2008)

Then say what you feel. Damn.

To the writer:
A powerful piece of work.
I was sucked in from the start.
I was almost feeling your pain.


Though i do not agree with Abortion AT ALL, your perspective of the whole subject, almost made me change my mind.

But i would also like to pose this question also:



Scott Tuplin said:


> She has the support of friends & family, however, and I was just wondering that if you had had that same support would you have kept the baby?




EDIT: Through reading a second time, I do feel that you were quite selfish.
No i;m not trying to put you down, but simply stating what i felt from what you wrote.
To come out with such a hateful mindset .. I dunno.

I'm too young to fully grasp all of this.
Take my comment as you will.


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## Dr. Apopolus (Feb 20, 2008)

You did what you had to do. No one wants to raise the daughter of a sex offender.


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## MusicSoundsBetterWithYou (Feb 21, 2008)

True. But you could've at least given her up for adoption.


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## Mishki (Feb 21, 2008)

Selfish?!  How ridiculous.  The writer was in a shitty situation.  She made the best choice she could at the time.  That's not selfish; that's _reason_.


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## MusicSoundsBetterWithYou (Feb 21, 2008)

It wasn't rape. It was sex that both agreed to.
Give it up for adoption.
I don't mean to sound like a dickhead, but it's what i would've done in your situation.
You should've have been more responsible when having sex out of marriage.


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## Mishki (Feb 21, 2008)

MusicSoundsBetterWithYou said:


> It wasn't rape. It was sex that both agreed to.



So?



> Give it up for adoption.


I'm glad that you think you're qualified to issue orders to everyone else.  



> I don't mean to sound like a dickhead, but it's what i would've done in your situation.


How could you possibly know that?  Have you been in it?

ETA: Oh, you're a guy.  It must be easy to sit in the condemner's chair when it's literally impossible for you to be in the situation.



> You should've have been more responsible when having sex out of marriage.


Because clearly, the precise thing that people who are too irresponsible to use birth control should do is raise children.


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## MusicSoundsBetterWithYou (Feb 21, 2008)

delete.


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## MusicSoundsBetterWithYou (Feb 21, 2008)

Quote:
                                                                      Originally Posted by *MusicSoundsBetterWithYou* 

 
_It wasn't rape. It was sex that both agreed to._

So?
*
Are you being purposely ignorant? If it's sex that you both agree to then you HAVE to factor in the chance of getting pregnant.*

     Quote:
                                                 Give it up for adoption.                                 
I'm glad that you think you're qualified to issue orders to everyone else.  
*
I;m not issuing orders. Read it in context. Giving it up for adoption would've been the best thing to do instead of abortion.*

     Quote:
                                                 I don't mean to sound like a dickhead, but it's what i would've done in your situation.                                 
How could you possibly know that?  Have you been in it?

ETA: Oh, you're a guy. It must be easy to sit in the condemner's chair when it's literally impossible for you to be in the situation.
*
Yes, i haven't experienced it, but morally, and according to what i believe, it's what i would have done.*
     Quote:
                                                 You should've have been more responsible when having sex out of marriage.                                 
Because clearly, the precise thing that people who are too irresponsible to use birth control should do is raise children.

* ...
Lol. Just lol. So instead they should just murder them? Please.
That's the most stupidest thing anyone has ever said.
The purpose for sex is to PRO CREATE, not to fucking abuse it for your pleasure and be shocked that GASP surprisingly! you're pregnant.*


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## Truth-Teller (Feb 21, 2008)

Abortion is not reason; it's always for _selfish _motivation.

Either you don't have enough money, can't support it, or don't want it, because it's a waste of time. Let the consequence fit the crime. You decided to be irresponsible; now, it's time for you to be _res-_ponsible.


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## Mishki (Feb 21, 2008)

MusicSoundsBetterWithYou said:


> *Are you being purposely ignorant? If it's sex that you both agree to then you HAVE to factor in the chance of getting pregnant.*


This statement makes no sense.  Sex and pregnancy are not a mathematical equation or an experiment; there is no factoring of a variable involved.

What you mean to say is that you may become pregnant, and if so, that necessitates that you have a baby and not get an abortion.  That is an opinion, and not a matter of fact.  You can believe that it's wrong, and that's fine, but it is not a matter of objective reality.
*



			I;m not issuing orders.
		
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*It sure looked like an imperative to me.
*



			Read it in context. Giving it up for adoption would've been the best thing to do instead of abortion.
		
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*In your opinion.
*



			Yes, i haven't experienced it, but morally, and according to what i believe, it's what i would have done.
		
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*That doesn't carry a lot of weight.

*



			Lol. Just lol. So instead they should just murder them? Please.
		
Click to expand...

*Abortion is not murder.  You may disagree with it morally, but it's not part of a universal ethic.

*



			That's the most stupidest thing anyone has ever said.
		
Click to expand...

*I'd say that _that_ is the "most stupidest" grammatical error I've ever read, but sadly, it isn't.  And I'm not prone to exaggeration.  At least you can properly use an article, and I can't say that for everyone.

*



			The purpose for sex is to PRO CREATE,
		
Click to expand...

*The purpose for whom?  I don't have sex to procreate.  It is not my purpose when I choose to engage in the act, so how can it be the act's purpose?  Actions don't float around willy-nilly in the stratosphere.  They're performed.

I guess senior citizens and the infertile shouldn't have sex, according to your logic.

*



			not to fucking abuse it for your pleasure
		
Click to expand...

*Enjoying sex is abusing it?  You seem to have bigger problems than your knowledge of grammar...

*



			and be shocked that GASP surprisingly! you're pregnant.
		
Click to expand...

*I happen to not be pregnant, and have never been.  In spite of having sex.  A lot. GASP!



			
				Truth-Teller said:
			
		

> Abortion is not reason;


You may not _like_ abortion, but the process by which someone comes to the decision to have one, like any other, is reason.  



> it's always for _selfish _motivation.


By your logic, so is the decision to try to have children.  People choose to have babies because they _want_ them, do they not?  It's not for the good of the world.  It's not a philanthropic act.  It's because they want to.

However, when people choose to terminate their pregnancy, it's usually because they feel that they cannot provide for a child at that time.  



> Either you don't have enough money,


Making a decision because you don't have enough economic resources is selfish?  Curious.  I'd hate to see what that logic train looks like.



> can't support it,


I guess having children that you _cannot_ support is the opposite of selfish?  



> Let the consequence fit the crime.


Sexual intercourse is not a crime.



> You decided to be irresponsible;


What's irresponsible is having children that you cannot possibly care for, and subjecting them to deprivation, neglect and/or abuse. 



> now, it's time for you to be _res-_ponsible.


Like having a baby and adequately _taking care of it_, and adoption, terminating a pregnancy _is_ responsible.  _You_ simply feel that it is wrong.

Or, perhaps you don't care about the ethics and your words are simply manifesting your misogyny.  Either way, you're making subjective statements without any supporting facts and without even vaguely approaching a reasoned argument.


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## FantasyWitch (Feb 21, 2008)

That is really intense.
I don't know how to explain my feelings about it because i have lost a baby too, but I get it and it was very powerfully writen.


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## devilcurls6981 (Feb 21, 2008)

Mishki said:


> This statement makes no sense.  Sex and pregnancy are not a mathematical equation or an experiment; there is no factoring of a variable involved.
> 
> What you mean to say is that you may become pregnant, and if so, that necessitates that you have a baby and not get an abortion.  That is an opinion, and not a matter of fact.  You can believe that it's wrong, and that's fine, but it is not a matter of objective reality.
> It sure looked like an imperative to me.
> ...



that was exactly my point


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## FantasyWitch (Feb 21, 2008)

When did this become a whither abortion is right or wrong debate??
Shouldn't you respect the poor girls  wishes and remember for some people this is a very delicate subject. Not to go all MOD on you but can you keep the debate to the debate section or pm's??


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## Mishki (Feb 21, 2008)

FantasyWitch said:


> When did this become a whither abortion is right or wrong debate??
> Shouldn't you respect the poor girls  wishes and remember for some people this is a very delicate subject. Not to go all MOD on you but can you keep the debate to the debate section or pm's??



Fantasy, you're right.  I just couldn't stand aside and watch the poster get condemned for, you know, being a woman.  Being pro-life--the belief that fetuses deserve protection--is one thing, but the desire to punish a woman for having sex is something else.  And that something is just pure misogyny, and that's exactly the crap that TT and Music were spewing forth.  They deserve to have their asses handed to them.

Ashley, I apologize.


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## Truth-Teller (Feb 21, 2008)

When you're in your 40's, you'll understand.


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## Linton Robinson (Feb 21, 2008)

I hope your book deals in part with the intolerance one meets from the public  on such matters.


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## MusicSoundsBetterWithYou (Feb 22, 2008)

What the hell?
I wasn't saying the writer should be punished for her actions ..

But you're right. Forget it.


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## SevenWritez (Feb 22, 2008)

Ok, um...let's stray away from the debate and head back to the article. So, to the two men and the pissed off feminist, both cool your jets. As for the article, I thought it was pretty dry. The only reason I continued to read it was because I knew it was an honest account by a real person. As for voice and flow, I felt as if I was reading some 16-year-old's diary, and I didn't care what happened, because you as a writer didn't make me. I'm sorry for what you went through, but unless you were raped I believe you should have at least carried the child through until it was born and handed it off for adoption. Yes, I'm a guy, so I can't possibly understand what it is to go through personal turmoil, but under the circumstances you provided, I would say the better decision would be to let the child be born. However, it's your life and your decision, and I commend you for being brave enough to allow yourself open to criticism such as this. Due to your last line (or few to last, I can't remember), about your child meeting you in God, you may get some heavy backlash from the religious folk as it is a bit of a contradiction. To believe in heaven you need to think of the whole "life at conception," deal. To follow that line is to believe that what you did was murder, which, according to the Twelve Considerations, is a big fat no-no. Nothing against you personally for it, but I don't think it fit in well considering the lines that preceeded it. Anyways, that's it.


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## Truth-Teller (Feb 24, 2008)

Here's an interesting article: Artist hanged herself after aborting her twins - Telegraph

If you boyfriend didn't want the baby, would you have carried out an abortion, even if your family was supportive of you?


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## Hawke (Feb 24, 2008)

This is a touchy subject for some, one that has been debated countless times and will no doubt be debated countless more, the subject often evoking a wide range of emotions and opinions, including very personal ones. I understand that. The thing is, this work has been posted in the Non-Fiction section, not the Debate section. Please keep to critiquing the writing. 

Thank you.


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## velo (Feb 24, 2008)

I'm horrified at the judgment and second guessing from the forum members.  Critique her writing all you want, but leave your personal morals out of it.  The author had an incredibly tough personal choice to make and she made the one she felt was right for her at the time.  You weren't there, it wasn't your pregnancy or boyfriend or life.  Not a single damn one of you have any business telling her what she "should" have done.  

I felt the article was well constructed but there were a couple awkward transitions.  I liked the journal-entry style but it almost seemed like it was there to smooth over gaps in the story.  I realize there are length limits but I would have liked to learn a little more about the MC and understand her situation/choice a little more.  The voice came across as scared and confused, appropriately so.  I liked it.  It worked well but could have used a few minor tweaks here and there.  But then again, what piece couldn't use a few tweaks here and there?  Well done.


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## marmot (Feb 24, 2008)

The anti-abortion crowd is made up of hack and slash reactionaries that want to deny females the right to own their own bodies. To the stupid anti-abortionist, women are just mindless incubators. 



They are completely disgusting, and they are plagued by bourgeois-christian sentimetalism. I would somewhat tolerate that viewpoint if it came from a poor worker in the third world, but it is unacceptable from people having access to internet and who call themselves writers.


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## MusicSoundsBetterWithYou (Feb 24, 2008)

Women aren't just mindless incubators.
I never said that.
You're right though. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want to do their own body.
But not when you're killing a future life.
That's just murder, isn't it?
I do agree though that abortion shouldn't be made illegal.
It would only drive women to perform it more desperately and in more dangerous conditions.
I just think it's morally wrong though.
Oh and don't call me stupid just because we don't agree on a topic, stupid.


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## marmot (Feb 24, 2008)

I don't call people "stupid" based on inane things like music taste, but I think I am entitled to do that when I read someone having a fundamentally reactionary and dangerous position. There are fundamentally wrong opinions, not every opinion holds the same weight. 

If you think it should be legalized, then you are OK in my book. 

Anti-abortionists love to use emotionally-charged words like "murder", "baby", "life", etc when speaking about their arguments. Regardless if it is "murder" or not, the fetus holds a biologically parasitical relation with the host, and the host should choose whether to bear it or not. Pregnancy is not just a bigger belly, it entails a lot of physical, and emotional weight.


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## SevenWritez (Feb 24, 2008)

marmot said:


> The anti-abortion crowd is made up of hack and slash reactionaries that want to deny females the right to own their own bodies.


 
Not true, but an entertaining notion none the less.



marmot said:


> To the stupid anti-abortionist, women are just mindless incubators.


 
I'm anti-abortion, but I don't jump on someone if she chooses to abort her child. I ENJOYED Juno. Anyways, you're just as big an idiot as the people you choose to stereotype.





marmot said:


> They are completely disgusting, and they are plagued by bourgeois-christian sentimetalism. I would somewhat tolerate that viewpoint if it came from a poor worker in the third world, but it is unacceptable from people having access to internet and who call themselves writers.


 
It is unacceptable for people to believe that a fetus quite possibly harbors life? It is wrong for them to condemn someone when you are condemning them for the own beliefs they hold? I myself don't have too much conviction in either side of the fetus argument, but again you are implying that those who feel abortion is murder are somehow a blind ignorant force of...um..."bourgeois-christians." And you know, there are women who are against abortion, as well. Not all of them are religious, either. Imagine that.


Anyways, to any mods reading this, can this thread please be closed? Few people are actually speaking of the article, and this has more or less become a moral/ethics cock war. No, I am not excluding myself, my earlier post had my personal opinions seeping through as well.


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## marmot (Feb 24, 2008)

> Not true, but an entertaining notion none the less.


 
Yeah, it is entertaining for the 16 year old pregnant girl who is about to ruin her life because a bunch of goddamn bible thumpers are obsessed with a lump of cells.



> It is unacceptable for people to believe that a fetus quite possibly harbors life? It is wrong for them to condemn someone when you are condemning them for the own beliefs they hold? I myself don't have too much conviction in either side of the fetus argument, but again you are implying that those who feel abortion is murder are somehow a blind ignorant force of...um..."bourgeois-christians." And you know, there are women who are against abortion, as well. Not all of them are religious, either. Imagine that.


 
Yeah, and there are also blacks that are uncle toms, and women who support patriarchy.

I never said that people against abortuon are necessary ignorant, just reactionary and stupid. Stupidity isn't a synonimous to ignorance, because there are plenty of people with worthless opinions that happen to read a lot..

Anti-abortionists want females to be owned by the state, because the state sanctions their ability to do whatever they please with their body.


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