# Holy God, Batman!



## hinge (Feb 15, 2004)

I know it may not show, but I am a Christian. In fact, I go to a Taiwanese Presbyterian Church. I'm a devoted member and an active participant. But the reason I say it may not show is that most of the time, the most obvious thing I reflect from my beliefs is my little cross necklace. I realize I need more than that if I want to be a true Christian. I mean, aren't I supposed to give off that certain light that can inspire others? 

I'm not saying I'm not a good citizen, but that's really not enough either. It's more like I'm a goody-good, than a person of God. I mean, it's easy to tell that I'm struggling a little in my walk. I'm not really focused on Him. This is plainly seen in all my Hero Punch articles whining about girls and my insecurity, instead of pondering about more important things. 

I guess the majority of the problem does lie in my general sense of insecurity. I mean, with the existence of so many religions and so many naysayers, how am I supposed to trust this God? There are so many things in this world that lead me to doubt my own religion sometimes. I've spent many hours trying to prove and emphasize to myself the reasons why I should keep at Christianity. I mean, what makes Christianity special? And why should I continue to believe? 

It was then, only recently, that I realized that I was going about this the wrong way. Because when I thought about not having religion and not having God by my side, the pressure was almost unbearable. I mean to have no means of support, it was something that just utterly depressed me. I had to ask myself why I was questioning God? Hadn't he provided me with faith and family and friends and an overall sense of goodness? 

Why was I trying to evaluate Him and judge my own religion to justify my participation? All that doubting was absolutely pointless because I finally realized that God doesn't need me. He doesn't NEED me at all. I'm the one that needs Him.


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## Penelope (Feb 15, 2004)

You need to go to France .. right away.


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## hinge (Feb 16, 2004)

Heh, is that so?


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## Penelope (Feb 16, 2004)

yes .. if you still go to school .. you would not be allowed to wear that 'little cross necklace' .. haven't you heard?


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## hinge (Feb 16, 2004)

I guess not..

I think lately I've been too introspective, fine, self-absorbed to pay attention to the news


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