# Bad Movies



## mathmaster12 (Apr 29, 2013)

Hey everybody!
I am compiling a list of bad movies. If you want explain why their bad or you can just post the title. My addition to the list Titanic 2.
Yes they actually made it, and it was so bad I was laughing through the entire movie.


----------



## Lewdog (Apr 29, 2013)

This is actually pretty tough, because I very rarely finish a movie once I start to lose interest in it.  The last one I did watch that was pretty horrible, was "Nightstalker" starred Danny Trejo, and was about Richard Ramirez.


----------



## Ariel (Apr 29, 2013)

"Master of Disguise"


----------



## beanlord56 (Apr 29, 2013)

Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace - Gungans, kids, badly written dialogue, and a nonsensical plot.
Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones - Unappreciative, overly emotional Anakin, terrible romance with even worse romantic dialogue, and yet another nonsensical plot.
Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - Even more unappreciative, overly emotional Anakin, even worse dialogue, and a better yet still nonsensical plot.
The Last Airbender - As a fan of the show, this film offended me. Nearly everything from the show was cut, it was racist, too much telling and not showing, mispronunciation of the names, etc.
Dragon Ball Evolution - Remind me how this is even related to Akira Toriyama's manga and anime.
Batman (1989) - I never did like Tim Burton's rendition of Batman. Batman broke his one rule, and Joker was more of a mobster than a psychopathic mass murderer. 
Batman Returns - Again, never liked Burton's Batman. I didn't like Devito's portrayal as Cobblepot, nor Pfeiffer's Catwoman.
Batman Forever - Both Jim Carrey as Riddler and Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face were both trying to be Joker and not Riddler and Two-Face.
Batman & Robin - It's a giant toy commercial. So much neon. Bat-nipples, bat-crotches, bat-credit card. And the ice puns. Oh God, the ice puns.
Star Trek: The Motion Picture - Exceedingly slow, even for Star Trek, and was nonsensical.
Star Trek: Generations - Outrageously dumb. It's a Next Generation film, and Shatner took up more screen time than he needed thanks to his ego.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - Shia LaBeouf being Shia LaBeouf, even Mac didn't know whose side he was on, and a plot that's everywhere at once.
Avatar - Sam Worthington's bad acting and inability to keep an American accent, a really bad and predictable plot, and getting awards solely based on how pretty it is. I don't care what technological leaps it made.
Spider-Man - Let's take the source material, throw it out, and make Peter Parker a whiny pansy.
Spider-Man 2 - Let's do the exact same thing we did last time.
Spider-Man 3 - Let's do it a third time, and introduce Venom, but give him next to no screen time. And let's be honest, every time you saw Eddie Brock (Topher Grace), you were expecting the rest of the That 70's show cast to show up and do the Circle.
Alien: Resurrection - To quote Joss Whedon, "It wasn't a question of doing everything differently, although they changed the ending; it was mostly a matter of doing everything wrong."
Alien vs. Predator - Just another monster mash-up. The plot was terrible. The human-Predator tag team thing was ridiculous. All the charm of Alien and Predator was gone.
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem - Makes the first AVP look like a masterpiece. The lighting was way too dark. The over-the-top violence, even for an Alien or Predator movie, was unsettling. The plot was even worse than the original. 
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines - It completely destroyed the timeline for the series. And why the heck was SkyNet kinky?
Terminator: Salvation - Despite having Christian Bale in it, it has Sam Worthington with is bad acting and inability to keep an American accent in it.
Clash of the Titans (2010) - Sure, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes, but yet again there's Sam Worthington. Post-conversion 3D is a terrible idea. And the kraken only appeared for maybe a total of 2 freaking minutes.
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - Way too much was thrown at me at once. There was no previous mention of the pirate lords, the nine pieces of eight, green flashes being the only way to escape Davy Jones' locker, Tia Dalma (despite her quirks) being the goddess Calypso. As with the others, far too many allegiance shifts within short time frames. And Keira Knightly, while gorgeous, was only good in the first one when she was the damsel in distress. Starting with Dead Man's Chest and continuing into this one, she was only that annoying woman who tried to hard to be awesome.
Transformers - Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, so much tan, annoying people, there was absolutely no coherence or sense in the plot, and it has Michael Bay's name on it.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, so much tan, annoying people, there was absolutely no coherence or sense in the plot, and it has Michael Bay's name on it. Also, I thought Megatron was the leader of the Decepticons, not the Fallen. What happened?
Transformers: Dark of the Moon - Shia LaBeouf, so much tan, annoying people, there was absolutely no coherence or sense in the plot, and it has Michael Bay's name on it.

I can go on forever, especially on the Star Wars Prequels. For the Prequels, I would like to refer to redlettermedia.com for in-depth details that "Mr. Plinkett" cover very well and crudely.


----------



## J Anfinson (Apr 29, 2013)

The Blair Witch Project - For something that was hyped up to be "absolutely terrifying", I sat staring at the screen dumbfounded thinking, "Did the director pay the critics to say nice things?"
Then again, I couldn't stand Cloverfield and every other "found footage" I've come across.


----------



## NathanBrazil (Apr 29, 2013)

C.H.U.D.  

C.H.U.D. stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller, but this is a cover for the real meaning Contaminated Hazard Urban Disposal or was it the other way around?

One of the early victims runs out to the fire escape to "escape" from one of these humanoids then promptly runs back in to get dead.  Honestly, I don't remember how she died.

You need exploding sinks. You got 'em.  Why are they exploding?   We don't know and we don't want to know.  


Amazingly this did well enough in the box office to warrant a sequel.


----------



## Lewdog (Apr 29, 2013)

J Anfinson said:


> The Blair Witch Project - For something that was hyped up to be "absolutely terrifying", I sat staring at the screen dumbfounded thinking, "Did the director pay the critics to say nice things?"
> Then again, I couldn't stand Cloverfield and every other "found footage" I've come across.



"The Blair Witch Project" only cost $22,000 to make and ended up grossing $250 million worldwide.  Not too bad.  Here's a list of some other low budget value flicks.

The 15 Cheapest Movies That Went On To Become Cult Classics | The Sixth Wall


----------



## Pluralized (Apr 29, 2013)

Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. A fine film, one of my favorites. It's pretty bad.


----------



## NathanBrazil (Apr 29, 2013)

There was a rumor floated that Blair Witch was the real deal - a documentary.   I can't imagine there being enough in the trailers to draw viewers to the theaters.


----------



## Rustgold (Apr 30, 2013)

Lewdog said:


> The 15 Cheapest Movies That Went On To Become Cult Classics | The Sixth Wall



Interesting that most of these are horror flicks.  If I was into producing films, I'd be highlighting this fact.


Anyway, the worst movie (that I've actually seen - because there's plenty I pass on watching) for my mind might be Dune.


----------



## Jeko (Apr 30, 2013)

Oblivion.

Ugh.


----------



## moderan (Apr 30, 2013)

Almost anything on the Lifetime Movie Network or SyFy channel. These are often quickies made by the Vancouver BC film factories and star a galaxy of almost-stars, feature outlandish premises and worse dialogue. Good examples would be the recent "Dirty Teacher", one of a host of tutor-pupil potboilers on the first network, and "Mansquito", which is perhaps the second-worst film I have ever viewed in its entirety. The worst of all time is a film called "The Lost Tribe", which a firnd of mine and I rented from Blockbuster some years ago. The tribe was so lost that they weren't even in the movie, which consisted mostly of dirty-water travelogue and was as uneventful as a typical compsci lecture.


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

How about just about anything with Adam Sandler in it -- and that goes double for anything recent.


----------



## moderan (Apr 30, 2013)

JosephB said:


> How about just about anything with Adam Sandler in it -- and that goes double for anything recent.


Add in Jim Carrey, Jack Black, and anyone whose first name is Ryan.


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

For me the only exception is _Dumb and Dumber_ -- I think that's because Carrey was balanced and somewhat modified by Jeff Daniels. I really like that movie for it's sheer silliness and that the humor is fairly good natured as opposed to a lot of the comedies now.

I was really looking forward to the movie _Bernie_ based on a true story about a funeral director who befriends a spiteful old lady, gloms of her a while and when he can't take her ordering him around and general foul nature -- he shoots her. The particulars make it such a great stranger-than-fiction story. Then I saw that Jack Black was playing Bernie, the funeral director -- and I was pretty sure he'd blow it. He tried to be understated, but he just couldn't pull it off. What a waste of good story -- would have been great for the Cohens.


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

amsawtell said:


> "Master of Disguise"



Terrible. Someone told us it was kid-friendly. We usually vet movies beforehand, but we didn't. That was a mistake. Too dumb for adults, too crude for kids -- and there wasn't a single laugh in it.


----------



## Ariel (Apr 30, 2013)

I saw it in theater in high school because a friend (we went in huge groups back then) said he wanted to see it.  There were two groups in the theater and the theater staff came in and asked us if we wanted them to leave the lights on about 30 minutes into the film because we were making comments back and forth about how terrible it was.  Funniest thing about the movie was the comments we were making.

The friend that wanted to see it got huffy and mad at everyone but we told him to shut up and sit down, we paid to see it too.


----------



## Robert_S (Apr 30, 2013)

moderan said:


> Almost anything on the Lifetime Movie Network or SyFy channel. These are often quickies made by the Vancouver BC film factories and star a galaxy of almost-stars, feature outlandish premises and worse dialogue. Good examples would be the recent "Dirty Teacher", one of a host of tutor-pupil potboilers on the first network, and "Mansquito", which is perhaps the second-worst film I have ever viewed in its entirety. The worst of all time is a film called "The Lost Tribe", which a firnd of mine and I rented from Blockbuster some years ago. The tribe was so lost that they weren't even in the movie, which consisted mostly of dirty-water travelogue and was as uneventful as a typical compsci lecture.



Funny you bring up SyFy (I hate their new moniker), but they acknowledge their movies are never intended to be critically acclaimed. They expect them to be taken as campy, ridiculous, etc. So you pretty much summed up everything they know and they are good with it, even if we are not.


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

They used to show some of the SyFi special effects on_ The Soup._ Pretty funny. "Special" as is special needs special.


----------



## Robert_S (Apr 30, 2013)

I can't think of anything not included in the previous lists. Possible addition to the "anything starring" list, would be anything with Brendan Fraser in it. Good effects, a step above frat boy humor and that's all there is to those movies.

Just thought of one, in the superhero category: Daredevil. Michael Clarke Duncan and Leland Orser earned their right to be there more than Affleck and Garner. Affleck's character kept trying to prove his goodiness and all it did was make me root for Kingpin. When the romance scene came up between Daredevil and Elecktra, it didn't even measure up to Happy Day's standard, it was so over the top. Failed all around.


----------



## J Anfinson (Apr 30, 2013)

moderan said:


> Add in Jim Carrey, Jack Black, and anyone whose first name is Ryan.



Lets not forget Rob Schneider.


----------



## Robert_S (Apr 30, 2013)

J Anfinson said:


> Lets not forget Rob Schneider.



Who? 
.
.
.
Seriously, who?


----------



## beanlord56 (Apr 30, 2013)

Robert_S said:


> Who?
> .
> .
> .
> Seriously, who?



Schneider makes Ben Stiller and Kevin James look like they're as talented as Harrison Ford or Patrick Stewart. I think he was in a movie a few years ago with Stiller, James, and a few other modern "comedians". I can only think of one movie he was in for sure: Animal, which was incredibly stupid.


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

Schneider was in that awful Deuce Bigalow movie. I think they even made a sequel to it. Then he was in one of those person trapped in another person's body movies -- he was in the body of a teenage girl. Or maybe it was the other way around. But you can imagine the hilarity.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Apr 30, 2013)

_The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Chinatown, Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction, Memento, One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, Cape Fear, Rear Window, Schindler's List, Dr. Strangelove, Citizen Kane, To Kill a Mockingbird._ Now they all sucked big time, seriously. 

_Master of Disguise_ was an amazing comedic achievement; I don't know what you guys are talking about, and Rob Schneider is a modern day Chaplin IMO. _That's_ how important he is to the industry. It'll be a sad day when he's not around. 
_
Oblivion_ was amazeballs -- Cruise's best movie by a long way. I honestly don't understand anyone who thinks differently. 

_Happy Gilmore_ is easily the greatest film ever made. Sandler should have gotten an Oscar for that role, the guy was robbed. He's one of the most versatile actors currently working. Let's see your movies if you think you can do better!


----------



## Robert_S (Apr 30, 2013)

Bruno Spatola said:


> _The Shawshank Redemption, The Godfather, Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Chinatown, Forrest Gump, Pulp Fiction, Memento, One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, Cape Fear, Rear Window, Schindler's List, Dr. Strangelove, Citizen Kane, To Kill a Mockingbird._ Now they all sucked big time, seriously.



Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree. I'm not sure how you think "Cuckoo's Nest" sucks, or really, how any of those sucked, though I have to admit, "Strangelove" didn't really engage me and I haven't seen Memento, but considering you think all of those sucked, I'm going to assume Memento is actually pretty good.


----------



## moderan (Apr 30, 2013)

Some folks don't get sarcasm.:single_eye:


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

You have to admit, any of those movies would have been better if Rob Schneider had been in them.


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

Bruno Spatola said:


> _Master of Disguise_ was an amazing comedic achievement; I don't know what you guys are talking about, and Rob Schneider is a modern day Chaplin IMO.



That is amazing. Schneider was disguised as Dana Carvey and I didn't even know it. The impression was spot-on.


----------



## Leyline (Apr 30, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Schneider was in that awful Deuce Bigalow movie. I think they even made a sequel to it. Then he was in one of those person trapped in another person's body movies -- he was in the body of a teenage girl. Or maybe it was the other way around. But you can imagine the hilarity.



It was the second Bigelow film that gave rise to one of Roger Ebert's most famous short reviews. Schneider reacted badly to a pan made by another critic, pointing out the reviewer had never won a Pulitzer. Ebert fired back: "Dear Mr. Schneider, I have won a Pulitzer. Your movie sucks."


----------



## Pluralized (Apr 30, 2013)

beanlord56 said:


> Schneider makes Ben Stiller and Kevin James look like they're as talented as Harrison Ford or Patrick Stewart. I think he was in a movie a few years ago with Stiller, James, and a few other modern "comedians". I can only think of one movie he was in for sure: Animal, which was incredibly stupid.



Rob Schneider was in fine form again in the movie The Hot Chick. That thing was awful.


----------



## mathmaster12 (Apr 30, 2013)

Snow White and the Huntsman


----------



## JosephB (Apr 30, 2013)

Leyline said:


> It was the second Bigelow film that gave rise to one of Roger Ebert's most famous short reviews. Schneider reacted badly to a pan made by another critic, pointing out the reviewer had never won a Pulitzer. Ebert fired back: "Dear Mr. Schneider, I have won a Pulitzer. Your movie sucks."



Ha ha. I didn't know that came as a result of this movie. I just knew the line was the story behind his book, _Your Movie Sucks --_ a collection of his harshest reviews.

I probably agreed with Ebert 75% percent of the time, and on Rotten Tomatoes, I almost always read his review first. But some were out of left field. For example, he totally loved _The Hangover._ I thought it was awful -- just the kind of thing he usually hated. I didn't read his review until after I saw it -- and I would have bet money that he panned it. Anyway, it's too bad he won't be around -- I always enjoyed his reviews, whether I agreed with him or not.


----------



## NathanBrazil (Apr 30, 2013)

JosephB said:


> That is amazing. Schneider was disguised as Dana Carvey and I didn't even know it. The impression was spot-on.





Pluralized said:


> Rob Schneider was in fine form again in the movie The Hot Chick. That thing was awful.






So Rachel McAdams is Dana Carvey?  I am so confused.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Apr 30, 2013)

Yep. Michael Jackson has been dead for years, really. Rob Schneider. You don't believe that skin condition crap, surely? It's a different guy; wake up America!


----------



## philistine (Apr 30, 2013)

Any superhero movie ever made... ever. Add to that any 'comedy' portraying college life in the US, parody films (it seems the definition of parody has been permanently altered- it connoted hilarity back in my day), and any horror made past 1979.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Apr 30, 2013)

I watched the first two Raimi Spider-Man movies and enjoyed them a lot. I liked the first two X-Men movies as well, actually. I even enjoyed Tim Burton's Batman films, and _Iron Man_ made me laugh a bit, but ultimately left me hollow. The Superman film with Christopher Reeve isn't that bad. 

Other than those, I'd agree. Superhero movies rarely deliver the goods.


----------



## Leyline (Apr 30, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Ha ha. I didn't know that came as a result of this movie. I just knew the line was the story behind his book, _Your Movie Sucks --_ a collection of his harshest reviews.
> 
> I probably agreed with Ebert 75% percent of the time, and on Rotten Tomatoes, I almost always read his review first. But some were out of left field. For example, he totally loved _The Hangover._ I thought it was awful -- just the kind of thing he usually hated. I didn't read his review until after I saw it -- and I would have bet money that he panned it. Anyway, it's too bad he won't be around -- I always enjoyed his reviews, whether I agreed with him or not.



Same. He was really the only 'big name' reviewer who's writing I ever sought out, because it was almost always witty and enjoyable no matter if my opinion differed. He truly loved movies, and was a scholar of cinematic history. He was also one of the few career critics to actually get a script produced: Russ Meyer's infamous _Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls_, which is hated by many. I find it hilarious and just chock full of film in-jokes.

In regards to _The Hangover_, he did become noticeably more lenient with film after fighting cancer. According to him it was a wholesale attitude change concerning life itself, a deep personal decision to try and enjoy things more for what they were rather than what he wished them to be. And, he _did_ write _BVD_, so there was a level to him that delighted in raunchy humor and ridiculous situations.

BTW, Ebert and Schneider made up during his sickness. Schneider sent him a huge floral arrangement with a note that said (paraphrasing) "I hope these flowers suck much less than my movie." Ebert said that truly touched him.


----------



## Tiamat (Apr 30, 2013)

Cabin Fever.  Still remains one of the dumbest movies I've seen.

And to what somebody already said (movies with Jim Carrey/Adam Sandler/Rob Schneider etc in them), I add Will Ferrell.


----------



## moderan (Apr 30, 2013)

Hear hear. A most unfunny man.


----------



## Terry D (May 1, 2013)

In my opinion--and I know it's in the minority-- but two of the worst movies ever made were _Apocalypse Now_ and _Natural Born Killers_.


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

Grant it, it was a midnight movie and I had a righteous buzz on, but I kept dozing during _Apocalypse Now -- _a bunch histrionics and big build up to nothing. I gave it a second chance not too long ago and pretty much felt the same. I was also nonplussed by_ Natural Born Killers _-- just couldn't get into it.


----------



## moderan (May 1, 2013)

I don't care for Oliver Stone output in general. Apocalypse Now would have been better-served, I think, without Brando. He made the whole trip anticlimactic, especially in contrast with Dennis Hopper's wildly histrionic performance heralding his appearance.


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

That sums it up. And right off, I can't think of an Oliver Stone movie I liked.


----------



## Kevin (May 1, 2013)

Hey stoners, that was Coppola...but yes, that movie doesn't hold up. The director's  cut scenes with all the models and French colonials seemed like they were written by a teenager (no offence to any a' you prodigies here..)


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

I think he knew that -- so did I. We're talking about two different movies. _Apocalypse Now _and_ Natural Born Killers..._


----------



## Kevin (May 1, 2013)

(I liked _platoon,_  I can't watch _n b killers, _or that Kennedy thing)  Bad movie?: The American President (the movie)


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

Forgot about _Platoon_ -- not bad. The Kennedy thing with Costner was a joke.


----------



## Robert_S (May 1, 2013)

"Volunteers" with Tom Hanks. A terrible movie and the only the only thing I can remember about it is that it was one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 1, 2013)

I don't like to use the word 'bad' when talking about movies, but, for me, Clint Eastwood's works, as an actor and director, walk a fine line between cringe worthy and brilliant. I often don't know what to feel. 

Last one I saw was _In the Line of Fire_, and I'm just as conflicted. Am I right in saying he's one of the most polarizing filmmakers and actors?


----------



## J Anfinson (May 1, 2013)

Bruno Spatola said:


> I don't like to use the word 'bad' when talking about movies, but, for me, Clint Eastwood's works, as an actor and director, walk a fine line between cringe worthy and brilliant. I often don't know what to feel.
> 
> Last one I saw was _In the Line of Fire_, and I'm just as conflicted. Am I right in saying he's one of the most polarizing filmmakers and actors?



I like some of his movies. Yet some are a yawn.


----------



## movieman (May 1, 2013)

JosephB said:


> I was also nonplussed by_ Natural Born Killers _-- just couldn't get into it.



Censored version or director's cut? From what I remember, Natural Born Killers is one of the few cases where the censored version of a movie ended up more violent and depraved than the original.

Other than that, it's basically a $50,000,000 art movie with half of a Tarantino script and half Oliver Stone.


----------



## Leyline (May 1, 2013)

Oliver Stone is crap. _Platoon_ is a hideously pretentious art-film Jesus allegory. It's takeaway message is basically: 'Yeah, the Vietnam war was bad, but one of those soldiers might have been a Jesus metaphor.' 

Actual email from my uncle, who did two tours in Vietnam:

"Hey, neph!

Yeah, you're right. Platoon is awful and sort of funny. Trying to make soldiers magical and special is always hilarious to me. We were stupid kids doing what we were told. That's why _Full Metal Jacket_ is still the best Vietnam movie. No other movie captures the 'What the (expletive) are we doing here?' feeling better. So glad you 'get' that.

Your uncle,
Roger."


----------



## Leyline (May 1, 2013)

Correction: went back and found the email. He actually signed off as 'Old Unk', a reference to _Sirens Of Titan_, the paperback of which he handed to me as a kid.


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

Bruno Spatola said:


> I don't like to use the word 'bad' when talking about movies, but, for me, Clint Eastwood's works, as an actor and director, walk a fine line between cringe worthy and brilliant. I often don't know what to feel.
> 
> Last one I saw was _In the Line of Fire_, and I'm just as conflicted. Am I right in saying he's one of the most polarizing filmmakers and actors?



Loved_ Unforgiven_, really liked _Million Dollar Baby_ -- didn't like _Gran Torino _at all. Thought it was corny and predictable. It was like -- OK we'll give this a big twist, instead of making another white person straightens out inner city black kid or group of black kids movie, let's make the kid Hmong! And grant it, Eastwood's character wasn't your typical saintly white savior -- but please. And I kept waiting for Eastwood to make the kid do wax on, wax off.


----------



## Leyline (May 1, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Loved_ Unforgiven_, really liked _Million Dollar Baby_ -- didn't like _Gran Torino _at all. Thought it was corny and predictable. It was like -- OK we'll give this a big twist, instead of making another white person straightens out inner city black kid or group of black kids movie, let's make the kid Hmong! And grant it, Eastwood's character wasn't your typical saintly white savior -- but please. And I kept waiting for Eastwood to make the kid do wax on, wax off.



I adore _Unforgiven_, my favorite western movie, echoing Ford and Hawks but critiquing the format at the same time. _Gran Torino_, IMO, tried to do the same thing with urban vigilante movies, but just doesn't do it as well. i enjoyed the hell out of it anyway.


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

Speaking of White Savior movies -- or close to it -- I remember you told me how much you hated _Precious. _I subsequently saw it with the film club we're in with church people -- they all wear Birkenstocks and drive Volvos with "Coexist" bumper stickers on them -- and they all just ate it up. I thought it was terrible!


----------



## moderan (May 1, 2013)

JosephB said:


> I think he knew that -- so did I. We're talking about two different movies. _Apocalypse Now _and_ Natural Born Killers..._


Yeah. And only one of us is a stoner. Cheez. I hate war movies in general. I hate war and don't want anything to do with glorifying it. A-Now I watched initially because of the Conrad connection and because I like Hopper and Sheen. Don't care for Brando. Never did.



Robert_S said:


> "Volunteers" with Tom Hanks. A terrible movie and the only the only thing I can remember about it is that it was one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen.


I loathe Tom Hanks. Have never seen a person so puffed-up with himself in all of my days. I like exactly one movie he stars in-The Terminal, which is wonderfully Kafkaesque. Otherwise, the fact that he is in it makes me not want to see a film. Likewise Tom Cruise. Their self-important personae overshadow anything they might bring to the table. Hanks is a decent producer and indifferent director. Maybe he should just stay behind the camera.



Leyline said:


> I adore _Unforgiven_, my favorite western movie, echoing Ford and Hawks but critiquing the format at the same time. _Gran Torino_, IMO, tried to do the same thing with urban vigilante movies, but just doesn't do it as well. i enjoyed the hell out of it anyway.


Unforgiven is watchable. Not so the others, imo. Great pianist though. Fantastic knowledge of jazz. Good director.
I keep imagining NBK as if Tarantino had actually directed it. Coulda been a contendah.


----------



## Captnq (May 1, 2013)

Having read people's lists, I'm not sure you people know what a bad movie is:

A bad movie is a movie that fails to entertain.

So, Let's take some examples:

The Rocky Horror Picture Show - Is it bad?
No.  It's horrible. It's so poorly made that one shot even has the camera  man in it. However, it bad-ness is so relentless that you cannot help  wondering, "What horrible thing is going to happen next?" In that respect, it draws you in. It is entertaining, because of the badness. So, while a horrible movie, it can be entertaining, and thus, not bad.

Soul Surfer - Is it bad?
I watched this movie and felt insulted from scene one. Every moment I was forced to watch this was painful. The main character has zero development. I actually enjoyed watching the shark bite off her arm. When she left to go somewhere else where white people don't normally go to help them heal through the power of Surfing and God after a tsunami, I felt that it was such a non-sequitor that I actually had to get up and walk out to think about what the hell was going on. Her moral is, god took my arm so I'd help these Non-Us people.

Well, actually, what I took away is, God killed thousands so you'd stop being a bitch.

At about that point, I actually prayed to a god I do not believe in and asked for a swift and merciful death so I would not be forced to endure one more frame. I am here to type about it, so either there is no God, or he's a sadistic bastard.

THAT is a bad movie. It isn't even entertaining in the horrible fashion by which it was made.

Someone else listed AVP as a bad movie. yes, poor scripting, Hamfisted, and the only way the plot advances is by people using the idiot ball. That said, I found myself rooting for the heroine and was actually a little sad at the end. The fight scenes were okay. Is it a good movie? No. But not being a GOOD movie is not the same as being a BAD movie.

Another example, Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace
Now, did the movie have any phantoms in it? No. Not a single phantom. Were the graphics awesome and that light saber fight cool as hell? Oh yeah. It was entertaining. It had problems, could be better written, but you cannot deny parts of it had value.

If parts of a movie has value, it's merely a poorly written movie, not a bad one.

Think of it on a scale of 5 to -5. A bad movie is somewhere around 1,0,-1. Some movies try to go for horrible, like the Scary Movie franchise. Usually they miss, sometimes they hit. The scene where one of the main character's cocks his shovel and a shotgun shell flies out never fails to make me smile. The rest of the movie... not so much.

I mean, reading some of these example "bad movies" I think some of you are either unfamiliar with what "bad" means, or you are just too sensitive.

But for me? Soul Surfer. BAD. Worse then Cyberbully.


----------



## Captnq (May 1, 2013)

movieman said:


> Censored version or director's cut? From what I remember, Natural Born Killers is one of the few cases where the censored version of a movie ended up more violent and depraved than the original.
> 
> Other than that, it's basically a $50,000,000 art movie with half of a Tarantino script and half Oliver Stone.



It was an art movie. You really need to have seen it in the theater to get it, though.

Picture open night. It's near the end of the movie, the audience is Howling and Cheering as Micky and Malory Knox are slaughtering people. They make it off into the sunset for a happy ending then...

You see picture after picture of REAL serial killers. The cheering and clapping kinda die away as it sinks in just who they've been rooting for. The director held up a mirror to the audience and they did NOT like what they saw. Natural Born Killers was, in my opinion, one of the biggest practical jokes ever, and it was awesome.


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

Captnq said:


> I mean, reading some of these example "bad movies" I think some of you are either unfamiliar with what "bad" means, or you are just too sensitive.



If I think a movie is bad -- it's bad. I don't really care all that much about other people's standards or criteria.


----------



## moderan (May 1, 2013)

JosephB said:


> If I think a movie is bad -- it's bad. I don't really care all that much about other people's standards or criteria.


Yep. Opinions are opinions. Folks are bound to disagree.


----------



## JosephB (May 1, 2013)

Well, there are people whose opinions I value -- but that mostly matters _before_ I see the movie. And if I'm shooting the breeze, I might want to know what someone thought of a movie -- kind of like what we're doing here. Otherwise, it doesn't really make much difference. It all comes down to personal tastes and preferences.



moderan said:


> Yep. Opinions are opinions. Folks are bound to disagree.



There's only one exception to this, where it matters to me. Or it feels like it matters. That's when you're close to someone and you have a strong connection to a movie -- and you really want that person to like the movie because you want to share that connection. For example, I love the novel and movie, _The Heart is a Lonely Hunter_ and not too long after I met my wife, we watched it together. She enjoyed it -- but wasn't moved in the same way. Not a big deal -- but I was kind of disappointed. I still feel that way a little when I really like something and she doesn't. Fortunately, our tastes are pretty similar.


----------



## Case (May 10, 2013)

No spoilers here, but "Oblivion," while not being the worst movie I have ever seen, has a plot twist that made me question certain motivations in the film to the point where I was not on-board with the film by the end.


----------



## Mariner (May 10, 2013)

Iron man 3


----------



## Terry D (May 10, 2013)

While the current re-boot of the Star Trek franchise are acceptable movies, I hate the 'alternate reality'_ deus ex machina_ they used to eliminate the need to hold to timelines and histories established in previous series.  Lazy writing in my opinion.


----------



## Immat of Kafir (May 10, 2013)

Can't believe Twilight hasn't been mentioned (more? I didn't read every post). That entire series is terrible in my opinion. A common opinion, I believe, but an opinion nonetheless. I can't stand them. Everything about the series is godawful.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 10, 2013)

I don't think they're terrible, just very poorly written and acted, with a highly disturbing love triangle.


----------



## Ariel (May 10, 2013)

I've never watched the movies.  Reading the books was bad enough.


----------



## Immat of Kafir (May 10, 2013)

When I hear people praise them, I just don't understand it. The main actress, rarely has a face different than  and a love triangle with a diamond-plated zombie and a dog. No wonder she can't figure out how to shut her mouth. She dumbstruck with how terrible a situation she's got herself into. XD


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 10, 2013)

People moaning about the movies is more annoying than actually watching them these days, in my opinion. Just ignore them, seriously -- they're not worth your time if you dislike them so much, so don't waste another second of your life . It was hard for me to ignore at first, because I find it so fundamentally unlikeable, but now I just shake my head and move on. Lifts a weight off your shoulders.

They do suck though, lol.


----------



## Immat of Kafir (May 10, 2013)

I don't normally "moan" about them, they were just the first to enter my mind, and I need some posts so I can have a fully activated account. I can't really think of many terrible movies... I've gotten used to horror movies ending as they always do. Everyone dies, the killer is still alive, etc. Whatever. There seems to be no creativity in the genre. Cheap scares, and uncreative ends. They must not know how to write a good ending.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 10, 2013)

There's a Carrot Top movie that is genuinely terrible in every aspect. I don't remember what it's called. 

Ed Wood is the most famous director of terrible movies. Uwe Boll is the current king of crap.


----------



## Kyle R (May 10, 2013)

*Snakes on a Plane
*
I saw a good chunk of it and decided that as a horror, it wasn't that scary. But, if you look at it as a comedy, it's actually not that bad! (If you view it as a parody of the horror genre it actually works quite well.) That's kind of sad though, when a film works better if you make fun of it. 

It earned a lot of money at the box office, though, I suppose because Samuel L. Jackson was in it.


Speaking of snakes, I thought *Anaconda *was rather bad, too. Cheesy dialogue, plus Ice Cube's poor acting, and John Voight's terrible fake accent. It was a monster movie that I thought was more corny than scary.

*Crank *with Jason Statham is another one I cringed at.

*Spider-Man 3* - not a terrible movie, overall--there were some good parts in it. But the third act was so over-the-top it became silly and eye-roll inducing. Venom, one of my favorite comic-book baddies, became more of a comedic punchline than a villain.

*The Dark Knight Rises*, the ending of the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy. Just like Spider-Man 3, everything in this film fell apart for me in the third act. Warning! Some spoilers here for those who haven't seen it.

In the final action sequence of the film, the great chamelion actor, Gary Oldman, was reduced to a bumbling sidekick who is trying to grab a detonator on a runaway truck. The conflict of the scene? _The truck is bumpy and he keeps losing his balance, and dropping the detonator!_ Will he turn it off in time??? *slaps forehead* Gary Oldman is used for _that_?

Bane turned from a merciless criminal mastermind into a cheesy-voiced thug at the end. The big climax? If you take away the spectacle of hundreds of NYPD officers fighting hundreds of thugs (which was cool to see, I admit that!), then the big showdown really boils down to this: 

Batman and Bane have a fistfight.

And of course Bane's mask gets knocked off and he goes "Gasp gasp! Oh, you've beaten me, Batman! You are a true hero!" (Okay he didn't really say that, but it seemed that way.)

The twist with Miranda Tate would have been a shocking one if their romance actually meant anything. Instead they just slept together randomly in the beginning of the film in order to set up the twist later on. 

It all just seemed contrived to me, like a plot-by-numbers script. I really wanted to like the movie, but it seems like they went for spectacle instead of substance at the end. 

The first two-thirds of the film I enjoyed though. The payoff just felt disappointing.

Michael Caine was excellent though, as always.


(Just my opinions!)


----------



## JosephB (May 10, 2013)

There's really no other point to watching a Twilight movie other than to complain about it afterward. Or during for that matter. Kind of their raison d'être, I'd say.

PS -- And I'm shocked that a Carrot Top movie would be bad. I guess even a comic genius like Carrot Top can't hit it out of the park every time.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 10, 2013)

Found it. It's called _Chairman of the Board, _from the director that brought us classics such as _Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2_ and _Inspector Gadget 2. _I saw it on an episode of _The Larry Sanders Show _when one of the actors was fake promoting it.

"A surfer becomes the head of a major company."


----------



## J Anfinson (May 10, 2013)

I'd like to also add pretty much every parody movie made in the last 15 years or so. Don't know if anyone's brought that up yet.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 10, 2013)

Yeah, pretty much, aside from a couple of Mel Brooks movies.


----------



## JosephB (May 10, 2013)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Found it. It's called _Chairman of the Board, _from the director that brought us classics such as _Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2_ and _Inspector Gadget 2. _I saw it on an episode of _The Larry Sanders Show _when one of the actors was fake promoting it.
> 
> "A surfer becomes the head of a major company."



You had me pretty pumped -- had a good idea of what my Friday night looked like. But it's not on Netflix or Amazon. Bad news for Carrot Top devotees. Oh well.


----------



## J Anfinson (May 10, 2013)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Yeah, pretty much, aside from a couple of Mel Brooks movies.



Spaceballs was actually on my list of exceptions. At least there were some memorable lines from it. I don't think I've watched a parody in probably 5 years. They're not even the slightest funny anymore.


----------



## moderan (May 10, 2013)

Mel Brooks' movies are older than "fifteen years ago", though. I'd include almost all Woody Allen movies, which I cannot stand. Also anything made by Lifetime or Oxygen channels. Also anything made from something featured on MTV or Fox, with the possible exception of the Beavis and Butthead movie, which I find funny at times. And damn near anything with a dragon in it.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 10, 2013)

Years shmears.

I've only seen _Annie Hall_. I found it watchable. Woody Allen just gets on my nerves to be honest.


----------



## Lewdog (May 10, 2013)

Any movie with Dane Cook in it.


----------



## Travers (May 10, 2013)

Lewdog said:


> Any movie with Dane Cook in it.



+1 for that (except for Mr. Brooks).

The worst film I've ever seen was Corpses, with Jeff Fahey. It had an awful script, awful acting, awful directing and awful effects. It went past "so bad it's good", and ended up at horrific.


----------



## Staff Deployment (May 11, 2013)

"The Life Aquatic"

Wow that sure was a CGI shark with stripes painted down the side like a race-car! Glad we spent nearly 15 bucks and three hours to see it.


----------



## Travers (May 11, 2013)

Staff Deployment said:


> "The Life Aquatic"
> 
> Wow that sure was a CGI shark with stripes painted down the side like a race-car! Glad we spent nearly 15 bucks and three hours to see it.



I couldn't disagree more! I loved The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou.


----------



## JosephB (May 11, 2013)

I agree. It's a little uneven, but overall, I thought _The Life Aquatic _was great. Very inventive and funny. Although it's more whimsical -- it doesn't go for big laughs. The CGI isn't meant to be taken as realistic. Jaguar Shark?? Anyway, Willem Dafoe in those ridiculously short pants was worth the price of admission.


----------



## Robert_S (May 11, 2013)

Bruno Spatola said:


> I don't think they're terrible, just very poorly written and acted, with a highly disturbing love triangle.



In other words...lol.

I never watched the Twilight movies. I saw bits of them, from when I installed my mom's new HDTV, but otherwise I have no interest.


----------



## Case (May 11, 2013)

RE: Twilight movies

Maybe the posters in this thread have not seen the series? I avoided the book and the movies as they didn't appeal to me.


----------



## Robert_S (May 11, 2013)

There was a western comedy, with Tom Berenger, called "Rustler's Rhapsody" that I managed to watched from start to end, I think, but it was terrible.  It tried to be an over the top hero vs. villain western comedy, but they made it a point to analyze aspects of humor and heroism vs. villainy and that was killer for it. It died after the opening credits and simply lumbered along like a zombie, wasting away and eating up viewers' time and happiness.


----------



## JosephB (May 11, 2013)

Case said:


> RE: Twilight movies
> 
> Maybe the posters in this thread have not seen the series? I avoided the book and the movies as they didn't appeal to me.



Well, I saw the first one. We watched it specifically so we could have a good laugh. It did not disappoint.


----------

