# Kebner's Mill



## musichal (Jun 16, 2015)

deleted, see blog​


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## Firemajic (Jun 17, 2015)

The imagery in this charming poem is outta sight! You set the scene puurrfectly for the reader.. Love that! I was quite intrigued as to where you were going to lead me on this trip, I was completely NOT expecting this,  Musichal... The seeming randomness of the encounter, and the words exchanged, shows how a brief exchange an change you... Thank you for a cool read.... Peace always... jul


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## musichal (Jun 17, 2015)

Thanks, Jul.  I appreciate your observations, and will merely add that the hawk is a more important character than he seems at first 'glimpse'.


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## jenthepen (Jun 17, 2015)

A wonderfully intriguing poem, Hal. I love the philosophical twist.

jen


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## Firemajic (Jun 17, 2015)

musichal said:


> Thanks, Jul.  I appreciate your observations, and will merely add that the hawk is a more important character than he seems at first 'glimpse'.




Ok.. so I reread ... hmmmm... I must have taken the wrong trail to Kebner's Mill....that's what happens when I am without adult supervision.... I realize the hawk matters...but...?


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## musichal (Jun 17, 2015)

The hawk is a metaphor which clues the younger man to better understand the older one's earlier reply which had seemed irrelevant to him at the time.  The younger man looks forward (or 'up' if you will) to his future, while the other has the higher view of looking 'down' upon the past.  It is simple, his reply to the younger man did answer the question of why he made the long steep climb at his age - because he was "shorter of breath and one day closer to death."  Enjoy it while you can, it won't be forever - and I'll do the same - was basically his reply.  Though it is best left for the reader to puzzle out himself, of course.


EDIT:  Actually, I put more thought into this poem than any other I have ever written.  The hill, the mill and the direction of the two men all have meanings similar to that of the hawk as described above.  At first I was thinking of having the young man coming down, but quickly realized that was the wrong way 'round.  He looks up (to the future), the old man looks down (upon the past).  The old man reached the summit first and was on his way down, another statement of their differences.

The mill represents industry, work.  The old man, his age metaphorically as the hawk, flies high above - his days of industry mostly, perhaps fully, in the past.  With his answer to the question why he climbed, I sought also to imply the difference in perception between the two from the same summit.  

I don't know how often we stop to consider subtle messages in poems we read; this one certainly fails to titillate, and perhaps I did a poor job in this attempt of an older style.  Most readers these days seem to prefer the quick fix, poetry or prose, all wrapped up with a pretty bow, everything spelled out and with an obvious end, like an action flick.  I don't mean you good folks here.  I don't know.  Think I'll find another thread and enter something  humorous. Forgive my melancholy musings;  it's raining and there's a chill in the room.


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## Firemajic (Jun 17, 2015)

lol... well, I messed that up for you then... sorrrry Musichal... it's me... not your lovely poem...


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## Firemajic (Jun 17, 2015)

musichal said:


> The hawk is a metaphor which clues the younger man to better understand the older one's earlier reply which had seemed irrelevant to him at the time.  The younger man looks forward (or 'up' if you will) to his future, while the other has the higher view of looking 'down' upon the past.  It is simple, his reply to the younger man did answer the question of why he made the long steep climb at his age - because he was "shorter of breath and one day closer to death."  Enjoy it while you can, it won't be forever - and I'll do the same - was basically his reply.  Though it is best left for the reader to puzzle out himself, of course.
> 
> 
> EDIT:  Actually, I put more thought into this poem than any other I have ever written.  The hill, the mill and the direction of the two men all have meanings similar to that of the hawk as described above.  At first I was thinking of having the young man coming down, but quickly realized that was the wrong way 'round.  He looks up (to the future), the old man looks down (upon the past).  The old man reached the summit first and was on his way down, another statement of their differences.
> ...





Musichal... There was nothing wrong with your metaphor... Yes it was subtle, but that is the beauty of it.. I need to slow down when reading some poems.. like this one...I love that one can read this poem and enjoy the many layers of meaning and message...  Thank you ...sorry about your melancholy mood...


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## Mesafalcon (Jun 18, 2015)

Ever think about making short stories out of these?


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## musichal (Jul 10, 2015)

Not really, this one tells the story I wanted to tell, though perhaps I was too subtle.  Just about everything in it is allegorical.


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## inkwellness (Jul 11, 2015)

I can tell you have put a lot of thought into this one. It is both a riddle and an answer with good writing all along. I enjoyed the free verse rhyme scheme and the only nit I found was the last line of the first stanza. It didn't flow as well as the rest (with the new sentence starting mid-line) but it could just be me. You be the judge. 

Either way, nice read. Thanks.


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