# I must be lonely



## W.Goepner (Jun 3, 2014)

I find as I get up in the mornings, that I am eager to sign into the  forums and see what others have said. I look for some comment or other,  on something I stated in my thoughts of whit or depth.

I search for signs that You have read my latest excerpt, and have posted  a reply. By noon, my time, being eight pm there, I wander if you are  doing well and have not, fallen ill or something.

Yes, I must be lonely. My highlight of the day, is direct comments to  anything I have written, I get the joy of acknowledgment, in those brief  encounters.

Do not get me wrong, I do not blame anyone for my letdown, when there  are no messages in my e-mail from the forum, after all if I do not write  something, in one or another, there is nothing to send me.


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## stormageddon (Jun 3, 2014)

Not as lonely as me, dear Goepner. It's currently 3:20 am, I have to be up at 6:30 for school, and yet here I am, talking to a dog on the internet v.v

Also, I think it's been something like a fortnight since I promised you a critique - there will be a critique. When it's coming, I cannot say, but there will be one. I promise!


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## escorial (Jun 3, 2014)

hang in there dude.


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## Riptide (Jun 3, 2014)

Eh... my curse exactly. I have to shut everything off if I want to write anything. And I get those email notifications so I know if I've been commented on or not, but still I check... every time I check.


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## Elvenswordsman (Jun 3, 2014)

Loneliness becomes us as we choose to hold social conditions.

What about when we decide that they matter not, and that we prefer to enjoy what we enjoy. Sometimes we can't deal with people in real life.

I find when I'm lonely, I go out and just talk to as many strangers as I can. It started with chatting up girls, getting their numbers. Now it's about just generating social contact.

If you need to reach out, I'm always here for anyone experiencing that loneliness. I know the depths, and I'm always up for a chat.


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## Bishop (Jun 3, 2014)

I dunno... I've got a couple of really close friends, a loving wife, but I still look forward to the forums more than I'd care to admit. *cough* look at my post count *cough* *cough* that's three months worth *cough* *cough*

Must be dusty in here. Or maybe I'm getting a cold.


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## BabyGizmo (Jun 3, 2014)

I find myself doing the same. To afraid to leave my Maui condo. Fear of the world I've known for less than a week. I find myself hiding in this digital world I've decided to call home. Knowing that you all will still be here no matter where I am in this world. Just a few clicks away are my friends behind my screen. Checking my emails every 10 minutes hoping for a conversation to strike on a post. Thank you for being here my digital friends.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

Then it is easier to make, "cyber friends", than personal ones. I guess the idea of not letting them see the real me is a boost to the smaller ego. To see the support of you who are either of like mind or just there to say hang on is warming. Thank you for understanding. I did not realize that people felt the same. Thank you for being friends.

stormageddon; I know the life you find your self in. I have been in the same unable to sleep, watching the clock every ten to fifteen minutes before having to go to work. I would rather have those days then the doldrums of unemplyment.

escorial; Hanging in there is all I seem to be doing. Hanging around waiting for the next turn of events.

Riptide; Waiting for the email to see what anyone has to say about anything, greater joy when it is a reply to something I said directly. I am a mixed up person. I crave attention yet find it difficult to speak in front of a crowd. Within these cyber walls I do not have to worry about the looks I do not see. Only the responses and notoriety I crave. 

Elvenswordsman; To know there is someone, I can turn to and dump myself on to, means almost as much as the fact you saw fit to comment on my call for attention.

Bishop; You choose a avatar of a character that fits your personality. You stand true to those around you, and you have need for more, In that need, you recognize it in others and see fit to answer my call.

BabyGizmo; From every one of my real life friends I ever had who's parent/parents traveled, be it military or business, or just lifestyle. It was the hardest life I have heard of. Different schools, different faces, and just when they thought they would be settling in, or feeling comfortable, time to move. Yes a cyber family feels more real than the outside life does.

Thank you, each and every one of you. There is times when the world we create seams to be stalled. We sit back and cannot seam to find a single voice that we can listen to. Then we make a statement or a noise, then the voices become clear.

Today was one of those days that I was in need of a Hi  and received it.

I will tell you a bit here. I think you all deserve to know this. Read my story, in place of every character's name, put Bill. You will see every one of my hopes, Dreams, Feelings, desires, and aspirations. My love to guide, to support, and give. Read "Bagla's Children, The Searcher", see who I am. 

I have placed links at the bottom of each passage to the next one to ease the finding.


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## Nicholas McConnaughay (Jun 4, 2014)

I have had a lot of moments of loneliest, but I wouldn't describe myself as a lonely person.   I mean, I, uh, I have this social-anxiety problem that really makes it difficult to go out and meet new people. It's a bitch to be certain. I'm not very good with people, but I have been lucky. I'm a loner that got lucky, I suppose, in that, I have a handful of good friends in my life and a good family. I have had a lot of hardships in life because of myself, who I am, (not what I am. I've learned not to refer to myself as an inanimate object.) and yeah, I try to keep busy. However, it's difficult without people to talk to. I tend to obsess when someone doesn't reply to a message that I sent on Skype, Facebook, or something else like that. I have some obsessive compulsive disorder in that regard and many. (I have a list of every movie that I have ever seen, written in alphabetical order, least to greatest, critical reception, and in order of box-office gross. Quite proud.)    Like others have said, if you ever need someone to chat with, bounce ideas off of, do whatever, I am always willing to lend an ear. I don't usually like writing critique for short-stories. I don't even like posting them all that much. I have 'em all on my website.  I prefer to talk to them without an audience.  Less formal that way.  And I feel like it takes the fun out of reading pieces if I, or the reader, spends the entire time dissecting and looking for spelling and grammar errors. (It's totally good if that's the sort-of thing you're looking for.)   After all, if you insult my work and others see you insult my work, I'm likely to pull a J.D. Salinger and start weeping in the parking-lot.     Joking. Probably.    Let me know if you ever want me to read your stuff, ... I'll be swift. (that goes for anyone reading this)


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

Nicholas McConnaughay,

Is that? Oh you probably get that a lot. 

I can ad you to a list of people I know with social-disorders. I do not judge. People of all walks have stepped through my life, and I through theirs. I tend to make friends and for some reason turn them away. Or that is how it seems. 

I might be giving you a chat up on the read. I am still not sure of a few things.


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## PiP (Jun 4, 2014)

W.Goepner said:


> I find as I get up in the mornings, that I am eager to sign into the  forums and see what others have said. .



Me too, WG. Some of the members make me laugh out loud with their witty comments while others make me cringe. My husband reads the newspaper on line and I read WF. WF is far more interesting


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## Schrody (Jun 4, 2014)

Bishop said:


> I dunno... I've got a couple of really close friends, a loving wife, but I still look forward to the forums more than I'd care to admit. *cough* look at my post count *cough* *cough* that's three months worth *cough* *cough*
> 
> Must be dusty in here. Or maybe I'm getting a cold.



Same. Except the wife part :mrgreen:


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## escorial (Jun 4, 2014)

there are so many lonely people in this world...the reasons are vast but the world can be a cruel,uncaring place.


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## Schrody (Jun 4, 2014)

escorial said:


> there are so many lonely people in this world...the reasons are vast but the world can be a cruel,uncaring place.



Ain't that the truth. This is like second or third thread about loneliness in past, what, two days, and somehow I feel somebody guessed my mood because I'm feeling that way too. Not much lonely as I don't know where my life is going.


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## dale (Jun 4, 2014)

i spend too much time on forums and facebook. but some people actually watch too much TV. so i don't feel so bad about it.
i least i don't watch TV. except during colts season.


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## escorial (Jun 4, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Ain't that the truth. This is like second or third thread about loneliness in past, what, two days, and somehow I feel somebody guessed my mood because I'm feeling that way too. Not much lonely as I don't know where my life is going.


.....life's a journey of discovery and while some end up as rock stars and some as homeless people one thing will never change and that is you are unique as an individual.


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## midnightpoet (Jun 4, 2014)

Except for my wife, I am alone.  When we moved out here in the boondocks, leaving the metroplex, i lost touch with my friends.  My relatives have either died or live far away.  My wife has some old friends she stays in touch with.  Mine were too busy to talk, so I found WF.  I find it interesting and informative to talk on line to interesting people in different areas of the world.
Anyway, writing has been a over 60 year interest of mine.  I've been published, but nothing major.  And I'm never too old to learn. I'd much rather do this than mow the lawn and help vacuum.


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## Gumby (Jun 4, 2014)

W.Goepner said:


> I find as I get up in the mornings, that I am eager to sign into the  forums and see what others have said. I look for some comment or other,  on something I stated in my thoughts of whit or depth.
> 
> I search for signs that You have read my latest excerpt, and have posted  a reply. By noon, my time, being eight pm there, I wander if you are  doing well and have not, fallen ill or something.
> 
> ...




Not lonely so much as addicted. WF is very addictive.


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## InstituteMan (Jun 4, 2014)

So, I have always been a mildly popular kind of guy, a starter on the high school football team but not the captain, if that makes sense. I am sure that the guys who couldn't make the team were jealous of me, but I always thought that I could do a better job than the captain. I have a wife I love, children who frequently bedevil me by filling my house with their friends, professional colleagues bordering on friends all over the world after so many years in a small field, and close friends from my community and even still from college who I keep up with.

Yet I check in here to start everyday. I look for messages and replies, and I value the opinions of many here more than some of the folks I see in flesh and blood. In a strange way, I feel like I found my tribe here. I am not the only one with 483 works in progress, or the only one who enjoys a pun or a clever turn of a phrase. I am not the only one who contemplates how a re-arrangement of the details of a friend's experience might make a good book. I am not the only one with this weird combination of neurotic self doubt and extreme confidence in what I am doing. 

People here get me in ways almost no one else does, so I keep coming back eagerly.


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## PiP (Jun 4, 2014)

Gumby said:


> Not lonely so much as addicted. WF is very addictive.



You're right it IS addictive!

Schrody, I'm pleased to see you've reinstated your banana avatar - it always brings a smile to my face  :icon_cheesygrin:


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## Schrody (Jun 4, 2014)

midnightpoet said:


> I've been published, but nothing major.  And I'm never too old to learn. I'd much rather do this than mow the lawn and help vacuum.



I would say being published is a major thing  P.s. your avatar always reminds me of my novel, maybe because it's about a plant 



escorial said:


> .....life's a journey of discovery and while some end up as rock stars and some as homeless people one thing will never change and that is you are unique as an individual.



I knew that since I was kid. 



PiP said:


> You're right it IS addictive!
> 
> Schrody, I'm pleased to see you've reinstated your banana avatar - it always brings a smile to my face  :icon_cheesygrin:



If I knew that, I would never change it!  Also, that pic is gonna be on the back covers of my books (when I publish through CreateSpace).


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## aliveatnight (Jun 4, 2014)

Like all of you, I can relate. Having severe emotional problems, it makes it hard to be around people. Social anxiety doesn't make that any better. It's safer here, and I'm glad that on here there is people who have the same interests as I do. And to everyone, if you ever need anything, I'm always here to help.


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## Pandora (Jun 4, 2014)

I am healing because of the kind goodness I have found on WF. Here members are protected, cared for, that is not true of all forums, maybe writing forums but not other areas. I can feel lonely at anytime whether I am alone or not. It is more a mood for me, a disconnect. It will be a year here soon, I too look forward to signing on, I believe I have friends about, people I care about, that is living!


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## InstituteMan (Jun 4, 2014)

Whether lonely or not, I daresay anyone still following this thread is entertained. Perhaps not _pleased, _mind you, but certainly entertained.


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## Emz (Jun 4, 2014)

I know how you feel w.goepner, im am lonely a lot... Thats what dogs are for!


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## BabyGizmo (Jun 4, 2014)

I checked some of these replies via email last night. This was the first page I went to after logging in this morning. I re-read the whole page. Its true as a few of you have said. We are a family. And sadly I do rely on you guys for my social interaction during the day. Sure I could walk down to the beach and make friends with a local or walk up the block to the coffee shop and make friends with the handsome young writer that sits in the same corner every morning drinking straight black coffee. But I don't. I walk out onto my balcony with my laptop and coffee in hand, log in, and troll this forum in hopes of social interaction and a way to break my writers block.


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## Emz (Jun 4, 2014)

Aha, i always look at this in the morning too haha


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

I think I should have titled this addicted. Look I was not whining or feeling sorry for myself or some petty BS. I made an observation of finding myself rushing to sign in so I could get a fix of conversation. I was a bit down for my editor, has real life issues and needs time to deal with it. I am eagerly awaiting their return to my story so I can continue the process. 

So Thank you to those who feel the same, out of connection feeling as me. Thank you to those who offer their support to those of us with the need to talk once in a while.

I might be reading into a couple of remarks, but the song thing perturbs me. Please do not continue.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

There ar things I do not want. Debates, Sarcasm, and preferential lines being crossed. 

One, there are people under adulthood that visit these threads and this forum. There are even adults that do not need things like that tossed in their faces, or want them to be.

Two, preferential comments need not be slung around like dirty clothes. I realized that this sounded like I wanted a dating sight or some other... no I was actually stating I was concerned about how I find, 'I' run to my computer trying to see if 'my' manuscript has received any more critiques, Just to find myself surfing the threads to see what people are saying.

Three, sarcasm aimed at people expressing feelings of any nature, is a way of saying, *In My Opinion*, "I hear ya, but I rather make you feel worse, so I feel better". I know I opened up a problem for the forth point, Debates. 

Four, As I said, *in my opinion*, Debates are not necessary to try and get your feelings, or points, across to someone who thinks differently. Difference of opinion is life, the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can proceed with making things better, by integrating those differences into a better whole. If this has set a chord in your brain to thrumming, STOP! think! Review! Was this directed at You? Do 'You' fit those shoes? If Not, Do Not Put Them On! They are not yours to do so. 

Remember what some joke and tease about might be a irritation to someone, Be Careful. Please.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

Pidgeon84 said:


> Welp, there goes my night... :/



Sorry  Pidg. 

I should not have started this thread. What was meant to be a "cum by ya" moment has digressed and I was not fast enough to stop it.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

Cran, Sam, Powers that be in control. Please hit delete and remove this thread. I would not want it to progress into the trash any further.

In eighteen + hours it died.


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## Emz (Jun 4, 2014)

Sorry, i was putting some randome stuff on, I'll stop... Verry sorry


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## Potty (Jun 4, 2014)

Just a gentle reminder to keep things on topic. Song lyrics are better placed in the appropriate forum.


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## Schrody (Jun 4, 2014)

W.Goepner said:


> I think I should have titled this addicted. Look I was not whining or feeling sorry for myself or some petty BS. I made an observation of finding myself rushing to sign in so I could get a fix of conversation. I was a bit down for my editor, has real life issues and needs time to deal with it. I am eagerly awaiting their return to my story so I can continue the process.
> 
> So Thank you to those who feel the same, out of connection feeling as me. Thank you to those who offer their support to those of us with the need to talk once in a while.
> 
> I might be reading into a couple of remarks, but the song thing perturbs me. Please do not continue.



No, no, you weren't whining, just expressing your feelings. Sorry we didn't respect that.



W.Goepner said:


> Not only broken, disrespected.



Sorry.


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## Cran (Jun 4, 2014)

W.Goepner said:


> Cran, Sam, Powers that be in control. Please hit delete and remove this thread. I would not want it to progress into the trash any further.
> 
> In eighteen + hours it died.


I've just looked through this, and taken out the trash. 

We have plenty of threads for off-topic and even off-colour posts where we can all enjoy them and no one gets hurt. There are plenty of forums out there who delight in putting people down, or treating them like dirt; this is not one of them. If you don't like the blues, then don't go to the speakeasy - simple; it's a big place with lots of other things going on.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

Cran said:


> I've just looked through this, and taken out the trash.
> 
> We have plenty of threads for off-topic and even off-colour posts where we can all enjoy them and no one gets hurt. There are plenty of forums out there who delight in putting people down, or treating them like dirt; this is not one of them. If you don't like the blues, then don't go to the speakeasy - simple; it's a big place with lots of other things going on.



Thank you, Cran. I had not intended it to be a blues room, even though I was feeling down. Thank you for cleaning it up, and not closing it down.

People are welcome to voice an opinion, that is what it is about. I just could not believe how it went, in less than 24 hours.



Schrody said:


> No, no, you weren't whining, just expressing your feelings. Sorry we didn't respect that.
> 
> 
> 
> Sorry.



I apologize also, There was plenty of things popping off that should not have been. We'll see from here what happens. There was a lot of good happening also, I hope it comes back.


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## A_Jones (Jun 4, 2014)

im not lonely and I enjoy signing on.  I think we have a wonderful group here!  Also I am excited about my writing and cant wait for people to read my latest chapters and respond.   I wish I had more time to devote to the forums!


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## W.Goepner (Jun 4, 2014)

All right Apologies all around. 

Let me see, Oh! So I still have not heard from my editor, I hope he is all right. Course he is in a time zone eight hours ahead of me, so there is only a couple of hours we can direct communicate each day, other wise it is pm him, pm me,... Eager, eager.



A_Jones said:


> im not lonely and I enjoy signing on.  I think we have a wonderful group here!  Also I am excited about my writing and cant wait for people to read my latest chapters and respond.   I wish I had more time to devote to the forums!



I enjoy it also. I was stating that the way I feel, wanting to sign on hoping to see a comment or someone, just saying HI. Oh yes, Hi A_Jones.



Emz said:


> Sorry, i was putting some randome stuff on, I'll stop... Verry sorry



Random stuff is what eases the way we feel at the time. It is when random, becomes raunchy and borders on personal, that draws the line tight, then it breaks. The line broke once and was getting ready to break in more places, the thread felt out of control. 

Remember helping doe not mean hurting/damaging, it gets confused quite often, and quite easily.


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## Plasticweld (Jun 4, 2014)

Just a thought as I read down through the thread. Many here profess some degree of loneliness and a lack of real world contact with friends or people in general. Many of you are familiar to me as I have read your posts and stories and gotten to know some of you to some degree. 

The difference between this forum and real life contacts is just courage. If anyone here professes to be lonely try spending as much time listening to someone you meet as if you if you were reading their story here on the forum. Most people, I will be bold and say all people who suffer some degree of loneliness fail to do  more than make cursory contact with others. 

Everyone you meet has a story, if you ask someone how they are, expect and answer and ask for  more details. If you have time and energy to read someone's story have the same time for someone who does not write. 

I have lots of friends, close friends that I can count on" the kind that will show up with a shovel and a bag of lime and not ask questions kind" I have those friends because I am that kind of friend to them. Friends take time and energy, they take a good portion of who you are with them; both good and bad.

I do not mean to go on to some personal rant at the same time each of us in the coarse of the day decide what is important, we still control our destiny and our future, yesterday is no excuse for today. 

I have found some good friends here on the forums, I enjoy their intellect and humor, I too enjoy finding out that someone commented on something I wrote or said, I make a point of reading and commenting on what others have said. If you notice under the "Like" icon those given and those received look at any member who has given very few likes, you will find they have received only a few also. The forum offers you the best real world example of what works, those that have given much receive much those who give little get little. 

Sermon over :icon_cheesygrin:


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## Nicholas McConnaughay (Jun 5, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> Just a thought as I read down through the thread. Many here profess some degree of loneliness and a lack of real world contact with friends or people in general. Many of you are familiar to me as I have read your posts and stories and gotten to know some of you to some degree.
> 
> The difference between this forum and real life contacts is just courage. If anyone here professes to be lonely try spending as much time listening to someone you meet as if you if you were reading their story here on the forum. Most people, I will be bold and say all people who suffer some degree of loneliness fail to do  more than make cursory contact with others.
> 
> ...


Some don't fit it socially. Some have problems that can make it extremely difficult to them. The world isn't black and white, and the same thought-process that works for you may not work for somebody else. I think that a lot of what you said is assumption. In my opinion, I think it's unfair assumption as well. I mean no disrespect, but I just have seen a lot that makes me disagree. I am not talking from personal experience either. Although, I have social-anxiety, and I can most certainly say that it wasn't as simple as putting in the extra-effort. I have had family members that suffer from bipolar disorder and crippling anxiety. I mean no disrespect, but I've seen reasons to believe that it isn't that simple. I suppose that something like this can't easily me understood unless you suffer from it yourself.


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## Schrody (Jun 5, 2014)

W.Goepner said:


> All right Apologies all around.
> 
> Let me see, Oh! So I still have not heard from my editor, I hope he is all right. Course he is in a time zone eight hours ahead of me, so there is only a couple of hours we can direct communicate each day, other wise it is pm him, pm me,... Eager, eager.



Based on what I read (on Internet), most people wait for some time to hear from their editors, and reasons may vary, if you're not satisfied with him, why not finding a new one?

OT: I know to have "blues" days (although I call it depression, even though it's not, it goes away in a day or two), when I feel lonely, and WF is my only "window" to the world. I know some of you might say I'm addicted, but when I can't go to the Internet, I feel disconnected from the outside world. I don't have a crisis, I'm just sad. And bored, so I know how it feels when somebody says he/she wait for replies, I do that too, sometimes. I have a good, normal life (I believe/hope most of you have), I'm not complaining at all, it's just sometimes I don't feel like anything. Sometimes I feel like crying for no reason, sometimes I'm nervous for no reasons (there are reasons but totally trivial), but then again, tomorrow, day after, I'll feel fine like I used to. I think everybody had bad days, especially if you're under a lot of stress. I'm glad I "have" this forum where I can come when I'm "depressed", and glad if I can help someone who's also "depressed". If you're ever lonely, come, and we'll talk with a cup of tea/coffee.


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## Plasticweld (Jun 5, 2014)

Nick I am an old guy, been around, it is that simple. Challenge: treat the next person you have contact with like he or she is  your new best friend, you will have a new friend.   Looking at your post count at 56 you have never given anyone here a single like, that is almost impossible to believe you have not found a single thing here worthy of praise, a smile or simple respect.  Start finding the good in stuff, you can use all the social anxiety, bipolar excuses you want none of it cuts and ounce of believability with me. You are sitting behind a computer screen that lets you be anything you want. You can be 6 foot tall, good looking, be rich, have a girl on each arm, unless you post a selfie know one here is going to know. Don't chose to be broken man when you do not have to be. Find a post to like, find some writers here who you enjoy to read and read all of their work. There is such a mixture of brilliant people here that I know you can find some who identify with you, but it starts with you taking the first step.  

Look at this way, you already got advice from the old guy who responded to your post and cared enough to  make sure that you did not let you just wallor in self pity. Also adding you to my friends list so there:stung: be a friend back


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## Nicholas McConnaughay (Jun 5, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> Nick I am an old guy, been around, it is that simple. Challenge: treat the next person you have contact with like he or she is  your new best friend, you will have a new friend.   Looking at your post count at 56 you have never given anyone here a single like, that is almost impossible to believe you have not found a single thing here worthy of praise, a smile or simple respect.  Start finding the good in stuff, you can use all the social anxiety, bipolar excuses you want none of it cuts and ounce of believability with me. You are sitting behind a computer screen that lets you be anything you want. You can be 6 foot tall, good looking, be rich, have a girl on each arm, unless you post a selfie know one here is going to know. Don't chose to be broken man when you do not have to be. Find a post to like, find some writers here who you enjoy to read and read all of their work. There is such a mixture of brilliant people here that I know you can find some who identify with you, but it starts with you taking the first step.
> 
> Look at this way, you already got advice from the old guy who responded to your post and cared enough to  make sure that you did not let you just wallor in self pity. Also adding you to my friends list so there:stung: be a friend back



I didn't make any excuses. I was referring to a family-member of mine that suffers from bipolar disorder, (my mother) ... and I am not wallowing in self-pity either. I appreciate you calling it an excuse by the way. She has months at a time where she is extremely depressed or incredibly angry. It isn't an excuse, that's her life. And I find it terribly offensive and ignorant of you to call it an "excuse". 

 This is the first time that you and I have had a conversation, and you are passing judgement as if we're neighbors. I am a writer and I have social-anxiety. It has bothered me a lot throughout my life. I choose to write about it. Most writers tend to write about their feelings. And as this site demonstrated, various writers have this feeling of compartmentalization about them. I don't whine about it, in-fact, oftentimes, I make light of it. I use it as a strength. I am not a broken man. I'm a quiet man. This isn't a matter of being broken. If you read my earlier post, I said that I have a handful of friends.

 I am talking about the idea that some people are different. They aren't always going to be the same way as you. It isn't something that is up for discussion, that is a fact that you need to understand. It doesn't matter if you are fifty years old, you can still be wrong and rude. I believe you succeeded at both of them.

Also, the *Like a Post *thing, I'll leave them a comment when I enjoy their post. I don't much care for the feature.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 5, 2014)

Social-disorders are real. I will not insult anyone by saying I do not have one, or claim to know theirs. Mine, I am shy to the spotlight, though I desire it. It is minor compared to those like my aunt's was, she was a reclusive person. Toward the end she could not stand to be with her own children for more than a short while. 

I do not profess to know these disorders, I have been around them, I have seen and lived with others who have them. My father was domineering, my mother too supportive, and my brother the typical older brother, pick and tease, harass, and at times awful mean. What I choose to do with this upbringing is a choice, a choice to let it control me or I control it. Most, not all, social-disorders can be overcome in the same manner. I can not say anyone's, is no less than mine or greater, I have only just met them from the other side of the screen, If I were to meet you in person what would I see? I hope, a friend, One that would let me see the stronger person, in control of their discomforts.

Yes, Quite often it is a matter of choice, even in the smallest of degrees of the greatest fears. No one is anything less for their choice to stay within their safety zones, Because I, personaly do not know their fears, and no one else can lay claim to that knowledge. We might understand or sympathize, we can have similar experiences, but we can never know the true depth of the other person's Fear.


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## midnightpoet (Jun 5, 2014)

Schrody said:


> I would say being published is a major thing  P.s. your avatar always reminds me of my novel, maybe because it's about a plant
> 
> Thanks, Schrody.  I never thought much about my publishing credits, because they were mainly on-line mags (short stories and poems).  I did have a poem published - "Grit" magazine, i think.  I'd have to look it up.  I've won a few contests, both short stories and poems, but it's been a long time.  I appreciate the interest.  I've finished 3 novels, have started on two more.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 6, 2014)

All right the point again. There are times, when I wander why I am signing in to the forum. Is it because I crave the conversation through the writings or the basic chitchat on the different threads? Is things that damn slow for me that I find myself running to the forum to get what some would call a social fix? is it me or do others feel of like mind?

I know I go through a case of the doldrums because I am unemployed and not come to terms with myself as to where to go from here. Like I mentioned about my story. I want to get it to the publishers hopefully by years end. Therefore I rush to see if anyone has commented on the posts I have so I can work the rough edges out. My editor and I have made it through chapter three and are into four. He has a wedding he is doing all the floral for and he needs time for it. he also provides plants for landscaping and other stuff. The wedding is another week away and I am penning it as best I can.



> Originally Posted by *Gumby*
> 
> 
> Not lonely so much as addicted. WF is very addictive. :smile:



Gumby is very correct. the forum is addictive. and therefore I come running to it often. I found I was the same when I was once a AOL user. There was a chat room there "some pub" of some sort. I could not wait to get in. What I found funny then one of my moods was to go in as the "Big Black Cat" I would strut about sampling drinks and swimming in the hot tub, or curl up an a lap. It was addicting to be something I could never be in the real world. 

Now here I try to be myself, listen, read, comment, and offer advice. Some times I get peeved at people taking a general comment personal. Stressing that 'Not Me" bit. I finely have to say, "so what!" Really it was never meant for those who do not have the same issues. It is basic grammar, "I, you, he, We, you, they." I had guys get all peeved at me in the ARMY, "Do not include me in that we. I had no problem understanding." I would get from them. Sure to be correct it should be "There are those of us who have issues, we need more..." Though they would jump to the defense even with that. (Whew did I go tangent or what? Guess I am still sore over those comments)

As I was saying, I try to be more me. I try to support and advise, listen and talk. I do not always achieve the results I attempt and if I confuse then I hope you(general) ask me to define. Believe me when You critique my work, I will attempt to define it to you and correct it. Do not take my responses as arguments or stubborn attitude. I respond in like manner as you critique. I am in hopes it gives a, "give and take" feeling. 

I see I have dribbled on here and I need to get to the most recent passage from my editor. Hope this gives a better impression of me.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 6, 2014)

Pandora said:


> I am healing because of the kind goodness I have found on WF. Here members are protected, cared for, that is not true of all forums, maybe writing forums but not other areas. I can feel lonely at anytime whether I am alone or not. It is more a mood for me, a disconnect. It will be a year here soon, I too look forward to signing on, I believe I have friends about, people I care about, that is living!



Hey Pandora, I feel bad I passed your post by. I am glad you can find comfort here like I do. I am glad Cran and the other staff have taken the time to clean out this thread of the trash that fell into it. Not the people but what they had let drift out of their heads. The only problem now, is I seem to be the only one typing of late. LOL Oh well I guess I can keep myself entertained that way.

IN a crowd of friends I can be very alone. I miss the people I raced with, I miss the feel of being one of the Five car teem with my brother. Even though I stood around listening to the chat between the rest of the drivers than having them speaking with me. I chatted more with the crews of the other drivers, more than with the drivers themselves. Yup alone in a crowd. I miss a lot from those days.

So stepping in here makes a big difference for me. Pandora, It has been a year for you since joining the forum? Wow it has been only a couple of months and I feel like it has been a lifetime.

Thanks for stopping in and come back any time.


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## Schrody (Jun 6, 2014)

midnightpoet said:


> Thanks, Schrody.  I never thought much about my publishing credits, because they were mainly on-line mags (short stories and poems).  I did have a poem published - "Grit" magazine, i think.  I'd have to look it up.  I've won a few contests, both short stories and poems, but it's been a long time.  I appreciate the interest.  I've finished 3 novels, have started on two more.



Hey, that's more than I ever achieved. You should be proud, it doesn't matter where it's published, just a fact somebody thought your stories are good enough they want to read/publish them is a big thing!


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## W.Goepner (Jun 7, 2014)

Hey everyone. I want to pull away from the lonely bit, and discuss my greater fear/fears. One is *Acrophobia*. Not to the extreme of I cannot take heights completely, but I can become white knuckled at the slightest unexpected movement. I tried to watch a video of the workers climbing the last bit of a over five thousand foot tower. When they had to go out side of the framing of the tower to climb the extension so they could change out the light in the beacon. I turned it off. My stomach was going into a knot. The other is *Claustrophobia*. Again not to the extent I cannot go into a closet, no mine is I am fine until the Air gets stale and hot. I can get panicky in a large room if it gets too warm. 

I can attribute both of my fears to my older brother. I think I was all of four when my brother and his buddies went climbing a young pine tree, They discovered that if they climbed up high enough that they could slide down the outside and not get hurt. I was one for following them, and when I got to the top, well they slid off. The tree went to swinging with me up at the top. As high as I was and my slight weight was just enough to set it swinging, hard. They thought it was great fun, watching me swing to and fro. They even helped the tree to swing further. How I managed to keep hold. I will never know.

Claustrophobia? A combination of three things. Older brother, pillows, and me. Enough said. Oh yes! and he loved to make me scream.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 7, 2014)

midnightpoet said:


> Schrody said:
> 
> 
> > I would say being published is a major thing  P.s. your avatar always reminds me of my novel, maybe because it's about a plant
> ...



Well midnightpoet, I have to agree with Schrody, any publishing of a piece is fantastic. It gets your name out there and your stuff seen. When you publish a bigger works those who remember your blips and blurbs in the mags and internet pieces, will likely read it for they recognize the name. Good work and keep it up. I wish I could be in those shoes.


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## dither (Jun 7, 2014)

W.Goepner said:


> I find as I get up in the mornings, that I am eager to sign into the  forums and see what others have said. I look for some comment or other,  on something I stated in my thoughts of whit or depth.
> 
> I search for signs that You have read my latest excerpt, and have posted  a reply. By noon, my time, being eight pm there, I wander if you are  doing well and have not, fallen ill or something.
> 
> ...



WG,
i identify with every word you said there,
you might be lonely, but you're not alone.


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## bazz cargo (Jun 7, 2014)

Someone can be lonely even in a crowd.

Writing by its very nature is a solitary experience, now with WF and all the internet kerfuffle a person can connect up with fellow sufferers. With anonymity comes a degree of no repercussion honesty. With a shared interest comes camaraderie, with coffee come cookies.  

Relax, enjoy yourself.


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## dither (Jun 7, 2014)

bazz cargo said:


> Someone can be lonely even in a crowd.




Yup!

That's me.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 7, 2014)

dither said:


> > Originally Posted by *bazz cargo*
> > Someone can be lonely even in a crowd.
> 
> 
> ...


A lot of people feel alone in a crowd. I find when I do, I need to get socializing, find someone to talk to. That is hard, I believe it is because I fear rejection, making a fool of myself, and the biggest thing, no one will like me. I Need To Be Liked! 

I would say, many with social anxieties, have the same fears. There are those who wear the most down right loathsome clothes to hide themselves, only to draw attention instead. Some fear going out in public because they feel naked, no matter how much they wear. In a crowd we stand alone, because we are individuals. What we chose to do with that individuality, makes us who and what we are. 

It is my experience that, those of us who stand alone when surrounded by people, tend to want to be noticed, but fear the consequences. Some of these anxieties are brought on by early social development snafus, quite often brought on by a parent's attempt to show us off to their friends. This is carried over into schooling, when the parent tries to get us into some thing we cannot do, or feel awkward in doing. The mothers that wish their daughters to be what they could not, the fathers trying to push the sons to be the athlete they were unable to be. 

Many, many, things bring it about, it is what we choose to do with it that makes us who we are. If we chose to struggle, in an attempt to over come it. Each step we take to gain the top, or the next plateau, makes us all the stronger.


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## bazz cargo (Jun 8, 2014)

> A lot of people feel alone in a crowd. I find when I do, I need to get  socializing, find someone to talk to. That is hard, I believe it is  because I fear rejection, making a fool of myself, and the biggest  thing, no one will like me. I Need To Be Liked!


This is normal. Advertisers and politicians and preachers, bullies and family and friends, even total strangers know how to tap into this strange wrinkle of humanity. A sort of emotional lever or button that sets us apart from rocks. Some of us recognise and can use their intellect to dodge the worst of the damage, a lot of us go through life at the whim of every 'not nice person' and get royally screwed all the time. 

There are times when I miss the debate forum. If anyone wants to debate this subject I can set up a group for self awareness.


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## W.Goepner (Jun 8, 2014)

bazz cargo said:


> This is normal. Advertisers and politicians and preachers, bullies and family and friends, even total strangers know how to tap into this strange wrinkle of humanity. A sort of emotional lever or button that sets us apart from rocks. Some of us recognise and can use their intellect to dodge the worst of the damage, a lot of us go through life at the whim of every 'not nice person' and get royally screwed all the time.
> 
> There are times when I miss the debate forum. If anyone wants to debate this subject I can set up a group for self awareness.



No Debate group, but a discussion group, I do not mind. After being in the dump society, that group of people that seem to be stuck on the bottom of the others shoes, I have learned that when I feel dumped out, I just need to talk. 

It is like when I quit smoking, ahem, pardon, I mean gave up cigarets, in 1989. I chose to cut back for a year, a bit at a time and in the later portion I started challenging the cigaret. Literally, asking it what it held over me. I also had to give myself a reason to smoke it, of course there is no good reason to smoke, There are a trillion excuses to, but no reasons to smoke cigarets, smoke anything actually, tobacco related. If I could not give myself a reason, I put it back in the pack. Five minutes or five hours, then the next time I would repeat the process. Then one day I needed to go for a blood test, the Practitioner  that ordered they test said fasting and no smoking 12 hours before the test. that was November 28 1989. I still have the dreams of puffing away at a cigaret and someone saying "I thought you quit?" Puff puff, "I did." puff puff. I would wake from these looking for the pack I just had, in the dream.


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