# Finding Fall



## tinacrabapple (Oct 1, 2014)

Finding Fall

Looking for a relaxing spot on the city park bench
under the tree.
Noticing a patch of trees along the highway;
I could pitch a tent and toast a few s’mores.
These corners feel like places I could hang my hat.

If only to escape from the constant anxiety 
of wishing to be there, instead of here.
Worrying I should be there, but I am here.

Walking through the yard, sitting on the deck, 
thinking, thinking, thinking.
tick, tick, tick- the beauty of fall is fading and falling,
wrestling and blowing.
I might miss it, if I don’t look.
Looking and noticing, noticing and wondering
when will it stop, just once, 
so I can look out on that mountain
and think only of Fall?


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## Blade (Oct 3, 2014)

I can certainly get caught up in the spirit f this piece. You want to sit back and relax and enjoy the colours of fall but there is some sort of relentless inner clockwork going on that prevents settling and keeps you revved up and on the go.nthego:

The thing is that nature is generally pretty colourless. The norm is green, brown, grey and black with brightness appearing in the brief emergence of some flowers and in the turning leaves of autumn. The turning of the leaves though is also a keeping of time which can remind you of the schedules and pressures of human life.

The turning of green to patches of colour and then to full colour to fallen patches and barren branches is a visible clock changing from day to day.

I think does bring out the time stress side very effectively.:thumbl: Good work.


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## tinacrabapple (Oct 5, 2014)

Thank you Blade for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and supportive critique.  I appreciate your thoughts.  

It is true that the colors ones sees in nature are relatively limited to the greens and browns.  I think this is why I feel such an urgency to stop and look, because it is the one time of year in which there is by far more color than one could hope for.  I am finding fall by not doing too much, but just as much as I can.

Thanks for the like Firemajic.


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## escorial (Oct 5, 2014)

read like a piece out of a diary....a moment in time captured


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## Firemajic (Oct 5, 2014)

It is true that the colors ones sees in nature are relatively limited to the greens and browns. I think this is why I feel such an urgency to stop and look, because it is the one time of year in which there is by far more color than one could hope for. I am finding fall by not doing too much, but just as much as I can.

Thanks for the like Firemajic.[/QUOTE] Urgency--thats it..there is an urgency about fall, And that is what you so skillfully captured.  Peace...Jul


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## Blade (Oct 5, 2014)

tinacrabapple said:


> It is true that the colors ones sees in nature are relatively limited to the greens and browns.  I think this is why I feel such an urgency to stop and look, because it is the one time of year in which there is by far more color than one could hope for.  I am finding fall by not doing too much, but just as much as I can.



I was thinking that if walk into a woods in the middle of June and then go back in the middle of August you will see pretty well the same thing. In contrast, at the height of fall, not only do you have lots of colour but visible change as well. A single day can make a big difference.

What I think the poem brings out is the parallel between fall and restless human life.:icon_shaking2:


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## Ethan (Oct 5, 2014)

There is a melancholy undercurrent to this piece and it's slightly disturbing, There are hints of distraction which made me think of alzheimers. Was this intentional? It was neither comforting nor uncomfortable. yet I felt an undercurrent of unease This, for me, was a strange and disquieting piece. I cannot explain why?


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## wainscottbl (Oct 5, 2014)

> These corners feel like places I could hang my hat.



Not sure I care for this simile. IMHO, too cliche. Can you think of something different? 



> If only to escape from the constant anxiety
> of wishing to be there, instead of here.
> Worrying I should be there, but I am here.



It can work both ways depending on what you want to express and all that but should the last line be part of the other to lines as one single sentence. I think it should as it continues the idea, finishing it up with a sort of sigh that it can't be that way. So a suggestion. Not a critique per se because you may want it the way you have it

I really like the last stanza. Very musical with the alliteration. Overall enjoyed the poem. Nice capture of feelings and what was seen. Very impressionist quality to it.


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## tinacrabapple (Oct 5, 2014)

Thank you all for the comments.

The "hang your hat" part is cliche, but on the other hand it conveys the idea of being more comfortable anywhere but where you are, such as work or being inundated with laundry.  Camping in a tent is as appealing as home, hence the desire to hang the hat.  But you are correct, it is cliche.   

The lines in the second stanza convey the revved up feeling that stress makes one feel no matter where you are.  It follows you like a plague and to escape you try to go somewhere else, even if only in your mind.  But then there is the panic that you won't get stuff done, if you keep daydreaming and aren't where you are supposed to be.  It's not that complicated, but it certainly drives the format of the poem.


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## wainscottbl (Oct 6, 2014)

tinacrabapple said:


> Thank you all for the comments.
> 
> The "hang your hat" part is cliche, but on the other hand it conveys the idea of being more comfortable anywhere but where you are, such as work or being inundated with laundry.  Camping in a tent is as appealing as home, hence the desire to hang the hat.  But you are correct, it is cliche.
> 
> The lines in the second stanza convey the revved up feeling that stress makes one feel no matter where you are.  It follows you like a plague and to escape you try to go somewhere else, even if only in your mind.  But then there is the panic that you won't get stuff done, if you keep daydreaming and aren't where you are supposed to be.  It's not that complicated, but it certainly drives the format of the poem.



Yeah. Pope talks about being too scrupulous about writing...and critique of course. Sometimes the expression is more important than a few faults.


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