# The Silly Ragdoll



## 4xdblack (Mar 7, 2017)

Back for another round of poems. I normally prefer to write free verse style poems, but this time I decided to do a couplet. I hope you like it!

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*~ The Silly Ragdoll ~*


_Ragdoll Ragdoll, lying on the ground._
_Lifeless, boneless, without a sound._
_Oh Silly Ragdoll, why do you stay_
_Watching life pass you, day after day.
_
_Ragdoll Ragdoll, someone's here to play,_
_Lift you, swing you, and snatch you away._
_Oh Silly Ragdoll, I can see you dreaming of a far away land._
_Where you laugh and you play, where you can finally stand.
_
_Ragdoll Ragdoll, won’t you hold out your hand._
_I can take you to that place, to that far away land._
_Your salvation is here, don’t you want to be free?_
_You wait every day, but your still eyes won't see._
_I know you can do it, I’ve seen you before._
_But now all you do, is lie on that floor.
_
_You beg and you plead, you pray to be freed._
_You wait for your hero to come on their steed. _
_And yet when all is said and done_
_You still did nothing to hold on.
_
_Ragdoll Ragdoll, lying on the ground._
_Lifeless, boneless, without a sound._
_Oh Silly Ragdoll, why do you stay_
_Content with yourself, wasting away._


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## Firemajic (Mar 8, 2017)

I love the imagery of a limp, helpless rag doll... abandoned... waiting to be rescued...Stanza 4 is in my opinion, weak and could be edited out completely, or rewritten to make it stronger. The use of rhyming couplets gives this a "sing-song", lilting sound and it fits and enhances your message. You nailed the mood but I would love to see you strengthen the imagery... Thank you for a cool read...


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## Bard_Daniel (Mar 8, 2017)

I like your couplets, 4xblack. = D

Though I agree that your fourth stanza could be worked on or crossed out to make the poem even stronger. It does need seem to fit.

Thanks for the read and keep on writing!


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## 4xdblack (Mar 8, 2017)

Firemajic said:


> I love the imagery of a limp, helpless rag doll... abandoned... waiting to be rescued...Stanza 4 is in my opinion, weak and could be edited out completely, or rewritten to make it stronger. The use of rhyming couplets gives this a "sing-song", lilting sound and it fits and enhances your message. You nailed the mood but I would love to see you strengthen the imagery... Thank you for a cool read...



Thanks for the compliments! 

Personally I've read over this poem so much but the one thing that keeps bugging me is the last two lines on stanza 3. I feel like it is both necessary and could be completely edited out. It creates the transition into stanza 4, to suggest that the Ragdoll has full ability to help itself, but will do nothing but beg someone else to do everything. But at the same time, the poem would not really change if it was completely removed.


Also, could you elaborate how stanza 4 is not necessary?



danielstj said:


> It does need seem to fit.



How so?


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## Bard_Daniel (Mar 8, 2017)

It seemed like it was detached from the rest of the poem and almost seems to go off on a tangent on its own.

This is just my opinion.


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## 4xdblack (Mar 8, 2017)

danielstj said:


> It seemed like it was detached from the rest of the poem and almost seems to go off on a tangent on its own.
> 
> This is just my opinion.



Yeah that was actually my intention lol. I felt like if I added the words "ragdoll" one more time, I might make someone flip a table. lol


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## Firemajic (Mar 8, 2017)

4xdblack said:


> Back for another round of poems. I normally prefer to write free verse style poems, but this time I decided to do a couplet. I hope you like it!
> 
> ___________________________________________________________
> 
> ...




The lines with the ***** contradict each other..... I am having trouble staying online, I will explain when I can use the "go advanced" option...


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## Firemajic (Mar 8, 2017)

4xdblack said:


> Back for another round of poems. I normally prefer to write free verse style poems, but this time I decided to do a couplet. I hope you like it!
> 
> ___________________________________________________________
> 
> ...




The **** are the lines that contradict each other...


I truly love this poem, and I love the imagery of a helpless rag doll, and a rag doll IS helpless to move on it's own power, it can not.


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## 4xdblack (Mar 8, 2017)

Firemajic said:


> The **** are the lines that contradict each other...
> 
> 
> I truly love this poem, and I love the imagery of a helpless rag doll, and a rag doll IS helpless to move on it's own power, it can not.



Ah, I see what you mean. Actually, the theme here isn't helplessness, but reluctance and neglect. The ragdoll has every opportunity to be set free (your salvation is here), it has the power to move (I know you can do it, I've seen you before), or rather it use to have the power before willingly giving it up. And now it begs to be free (you beg and you plead, you pray to be freed), but it expects someone else to make it happen (you wait for your hero to come on their steed). But, it still won't do anything to help itself. (you still did nothing to hold on). 

Which means that you've exposed a critical flaw in my poem, lol. I think I should definitely take your advice and work on the 4th stanza to make it more powerful, and to make the theme more clear.


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## ArtBlinked (Mar 9, 2017)

4xdblack said:


> Back for another round of poems. I normally prefer to write free verse style poems, but this time I decided to do a couplet. I hope you like it!
> 
> ___________________________________________________________
> 
> ...



I really, really liked this. I may be way off base but it seems to me that the poem speaks to those who live comfortable but torn lives.

The ragdoll watches life pass before them. It wants to feel free but it's also waiting for a hero to come give it that freedom. It doesn't do anything to change its situation because it's content enough to stay where it's at. 

But contentment with themselves is what makes them the ragdoll that they are. Seems to speak to people who can both be miserable and content enough to do nothing with themselves, or at least not do what they really want. They are just ragdolls watching life pass before them because sometimes it's more comfortable to watch than act on a hope of the impossible -that a ragdoll can stand and walk and run. 

Eh, maybe I'm thinking too much haha. This poem seems to have so many possible meanings when you think about it. But honestly it was a great read and I loved it. 

Sent from my SM-G860P using Tapatalk


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## 4xdblack (Mar 9, 2017)

ArtBlinked said:


> I really, really liked this. I may be way off base but it seems to me that the poem speaks to those who live comfortable but torn lives.
> 
> The ragdoll watches life pass before them. It wants to feel free but it's also waiting for a hero to come give it that freedom. It doesn't do anything to change its situation because it's content enough to stay where it's at.
> 
> ...



Honestly, that is 100% exactly my inspiration behind the poem. That was spot on. I love your interpretation of it. thank you for such nice compliments.


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## Firemajic (Mar 9, 2017)

I think I got hung up on the idea that a Rag doll is an inanimate object, she only comes to life when someone moves her, without someone to move her from place to place, she is helpless and stays where she was abandoned, powerless to change her situation, even though she wants to... so, in light of my linear thinking, my critique is way off base, and I am sooo sorry... please ignore my critique.
I love this poem and as I was reading I went to a different place... exactly what a wonderful poem should do.. right?


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## 4xdblack (Mar 9, 2017)

Firemajic said:


> I think I got hung up on the idea that a Rag doll is an inanimate object, she only comes to life when someone moves her, without someone to move her from place to place, she is helpless and stays where she was abandoned, powerless to change her situation, even though she wants to... so, in light of my linear thinking, my critique is way off base, and I am sooo sorry... please ignore my critique.
> I love this poem and as I was reading I went to a different place... exactly what a wonderful poem should do.. right?



Lol I'm glad you liked it then. I still think two more lines could take that 4th stanza to a whole new level... but, man, this is really difficult.


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## Firemajic (Mar 9, 2017)

4xdblack said:


> Lol I'm glad you liked it then. I still think two more lines could take that 4th stanza to a whole new level... but, man, this is really difficult.




If I may offer you a suggestion..... live with this poem for awhile, then revisit it later and see what happens.. ')


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## 4xdblack (Mar 10, 2017)

Firemajic said:


> If I may offer you a suggestion..... live with this poem for awhile, then revisit it later and see what happens.. ')



Alright, I'll try that.


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## mark_schaeffer (Mar 11, 2017)

A couple of immediate questions: what led you to write this poem? Also, who are the poets you spend the most time reading? I like the ragdoll idea but couplets are probably the hardest form to succeed at because it infantilizes most subjects and causes you to focus on the form and not the material. I would have been a better reader of this in free verse where your feelings would have been more exposed. Never too late...


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## Nellie (Mar 11, 2017)

Firemajic said:


> If I may offer you a suggestion..... live with this poem for awhile, then revisit it later and see what happens.. ')



I agree, although I also agree with ArtBlinked. I see this poem thru those eyes. But sometimes if you will live with a poem for a bit and visit it in a few weeks, it's always refreshing to re-read it and see it from a different perspective. 

I like the way it is.


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## Ariel (Mar 11, 2017)

The content and the message are fine. I enjoy the rhyming couplets but have no idea why the meter is so slap-dash. Tighten up the meter and I think that will fix some content issues.


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## 4xdblack (Mar 11, 2017)

mark_schaeffer said:


> A couple of immediate questions: what led you to write this poem? Also, who are the poets you spend the most time reading? I like the ragdoll idea but couplets are probably the hardest form to succeed at because it infantilizes most subjects and causes you to focus on the form and not the material. I would have been a better reader of this in free verse where your feelings would have been more exposed. Never too late...



Yeah like I said, I normally write free-verse, this is my first time doing a couplet. The reason I went with couplet is because that's how it was when the inspiration hit me. To answer your questions; I don't actually read poems that much. Whenever I come on here to post one of mine, I'll check out some of the other poems posted on here. But that's the extent of my poem reading. I just write when the inspiration hits me. And for your other question, I got the inspiration from myself, as I often do.. In this poem, the ragdoll is actually speaking to itself.




Ariel said:


> The content and the message are fine. I enjoy the rhyming couplets but have no idea why the meter is so slap-dash. Tighten up the meter and I think that will fix some content issues.



That's probably due to the fact that it's my first time writing a couplet. I've never been really good with rhymes, I always prefer free-verse. But when the inspiration hit me, a couplet was the form it took. So I had to write it that way.


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## Ariel (Mar 11, 2017)

That's what I'm saying, the form suits the content and language--just tighten up the meter.


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