# I Cannot Bear (double villanelle)



## aj47 (Jul 30, 2013)

I weep because I cannot bear to write.
Some things are best unwritten, so they say.
My tears pay silent tribute to my plight.


And if my soul had wings and could take flight
Could I maintain the needed strength to stay?
I weep because I cannot bear to write.


I sit at my computer in the night,
In hopes my words can somehow find their way.
My tears pay silent tribute to my plight.


Some images engender only fright,
in ways that words are helpless to convey.
I weep because I cannot bear to write.


Still I lack the will to really fight.
My need to cry, I cannot disobey
My tears pay silent tribute to my plight.


If only I could make things come out right
Cast into light the matters that are gray.
I weep because I cannot bear to write.
My tears pay silent tribute to my plight.I write because I cannot bear to weep.
Or wear my pain, in obvious display.
And even so, some secrets I still keep.


Lest bitter dreams intrude into my sleep
Their visions haunting me throughout the day.
I write because I cannot bear to weep.


When stealthily the early hours creep,
I type my heart out, much to my dismay.
And even so, some secrets I still keep.


And when the words have dragged me in too deep,
To places where my rhyme begins to stray,
I write because I cannot bear to weep.


With tangled words, dark images I steep.
I'll write until I see the sun's first ray.
And even so, some secrets I still keep.


I'm told that as I sow, so shall I reap,
Are words that hard to plant and give away?
I write because I cannot bear to weep,
And even so, some secrets I still keep.


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## Vitaly Ana (Jul 31, 2013)

Bravo bravo - you put this together very well Astro Annie!

I really enjoyed the read, the rhyme. You say in one line: _Still I lack the will to really fight _ though I think just by writing this piece, the will remains in tact, and the fight in you (or the subject of the poem) is still there (if that makes sense).

Very well constructed. Thank you for posting


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## aj47 (Jul 31, 2013)

Thank you so much for your kind comments.


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## Gumby (Jul 31, 2013)

Let me echo the above...Bravo! You've been missed annie. Excellent work.


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## jack2 (Jul 31, 2013)

Astroannie,
your double villanelle is perfectly charming.  Excellent rhyming, all so very well delivered.  Very much impressed with your work.  Jack


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## Bloggsworth (Jul 31, 2013)

Astroannie, if I were a hat wearer I would take it off to you; you have, appropriately, produced a starburst.

Only a couple of lines feel slightly forced "_If only I could put these troubles right_" & "_When timepiece digits start their night-time creep_". Although the syllable count is correct, the first relies on pronouncing Troubles as Trou-bulls, which feels awkward; in the second example the line sounds "_forced to fit_". Digits don't creep, but a clock's hands may.


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## aj47 (Jul 31, 2013)

Thank you.    Thank you.


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## escorial (Jul 31, 2013)

Q...Does it matter which way you read...from left to right or down and up..?


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## PiP (Jul 31, 2013)

Annie, this is brilliant! 

Thank you for sharing


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## aj47 (Jul 31, 2013)

Thank you all.

@escorial:  It's meant to be read either as two separate pieces or as a whole going left to right, top to bottom.


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## aj47 (Jul 31, 2013)

@Bloggsworth:  better?


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## justanothernickname (Jul 31, 2013)

Very nice


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## dannyboy (Aug 15, 2013)

Very clever and I am impressed but its just not the kind of poetry that interests me. I really am interested in imagery, or ideas rather than the challenges of poetic forms. Sometimes I find a poem that does both but more often than not the imagistic forsake form for content and the formists (is that even a word) forsake content for form. I find the for usually leads to a "let me tell" sort of poetry. This is just my preference rather than your poem, I will refrain from commenting to much on the form work I the poetry section. Most will drive me mad.


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## Bloggsworth (Mar 31, 2014)

astroannie said:


> @Bloggsworth:  better?



Yes...


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## Mackenzie27 (Apr 2, 2014)

I'm in agreement with a comment above about form versus content. (But that could just be because my pieces have virtually no form) so I admire you for putting this together


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