# Maybe death means there is nothing left to say...



## Firemajic

Walking through granite gardens
following a well worn path of unrelenting regrets
my feet stop beside your silent stone

I will stay with you for awhile
even though 
I have nothing left to say

I have said it all countless times
I have screamed 
prayed and promised
and finally I whispered

But you will not answer

You refuse to comfort me from there
or speak words of wisdom
or forgive me

The stillness!
It is as deep as your grave
as final as your tombstone
and as resolute as the face of God

It is the finality that takes my breath away
mutes my voice
blinds my eyes to tomorrow's fragile promise

Now
 there is nothing left to say
I will remain silent
swallow my sorrow
and what might have been

Maybe then 
in my silence
in this eternal stillness

I will finally hear your voice...


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## Bard_Daniel

A plight cast in glass that looks back at the reader in full.

Nicely done Julia!


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## Firemajic

Bard_Daniel said:


> A plight cast in glass that looks back at the reader in full.
> 
> Nicely done Julia!



"A plight cast in glass"... as a glass blower, I love this... glass has a way of magnifying things ... making them appear larger than they really are... Thank you for reading and commenting...


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## midnightpoet

I think delete "of unrelenting regrets."  Sometimes the less said the better. Also, with the third stanza don't think you need the second. Just some suggestions, hope they help tighten the poem and make it stronger.
In any case good job as usual.


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## killerbees

I like this piece, it's so confessional.


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## dannyboy

enjoyed this piece., wondered if you took out the references to the other person,
let the fact this is all happening in a cemetery beside a grave fill us in. Just a thought.


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## Thomas Norman

A very fine write, evocative and heartfelt. I like the mood of it.

I have a couple of suggestions, ignore them if you don't like.

S 1 and 2 are perfect. Perhaps drop the final 3 lines of S 3 and move the single line starting "But..." up to as 3s first line.
I think you could drop S 6, it has more or less been said and feels to me like rubbing it in.
Replace "swallow my sorrow / and" with 'to wonder'.
I also wonder if you really need "in my silence / in this eternal stillness" I can see why it's there but I think it's a given.
I think "Maybe then / I will finally hear your voice." is a much stronger ending. and drop the extra ellipses, they drag the end out.

It's a great poem and deserves to be as perfect as you can make it. ...T.


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## PiP

Julia, this is outstanding. The words so powerful I am reminded there were so many things left unsaid when my Mother passed. 


Now
there is nothing left to say
I will remain silent
swallow my sorrow
and what might have been

You have captured the essence of loss and acceptance.


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## Firemajic

Thanks to everyone who read this poem, it is greatly appreciated. Thank you to all who was kind enough to leave a critique or comment, each critique gave me much needed insight to how my poem was received and what worked and what did not... without your critique, I cannot grow as a writer, and that would be such a waste of my time... to those of you who understood where this poem came from, and why I wrote it... thank you so much for your understanding...because, after all, when it is all said and done... it is ALWAYS about the message, isn't it....


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## Pelwrath

I’m late and maybe short as well.
I like what I see as an argumentative title.  Why? What do we say at a graveside or wake? Things we didn’t, couldn’t or wouldn’t say when they were alive.

I also see how this could apply to the departed or those who are alive.

In S8 You don’t need Now as the first line. I almost read that as ‘watch me’.  then again, you might have meant it that way.

A really good poem.


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