# Call Me Savanna



## Angel101 (Feb 17, 2012)

_(Removed by author...)
_


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## Chesters Daughter (Feb 17, 2012)

Good Lord, love, I don't know what to say, any and all of my words would be mere meaningless nothings. Burn it all, Bay, and take a deep breath and blow the ashes away to the four corners of the earth. Then make your gentle way to your place of peace and start living, really living, those stinking ashes forgotten. Big hugs.

Your writing is so superbly far advanced it brings me to my knees. Keep doin' you, Bay.


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## Isaiah Lake (Feb 17, 2012)

I am in love with your writing. You write some of the most natural poems I've ever read.


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## Bachelorette (Feb 18, 2012)

Hi Bay, I've been trying all morning to put into words my thoughts on this piece, but they are all a jumble. It's excellent, to be sure, thematically consistent and very well expressed. For some reason, though, this piece doesn't quite move me the way some of your other work has. There seems to be a hint of, I don't know, restraint here, as if you're perhaps holding back a little. Not that that's a bad thing, necessarily. Perhaps that's exactly what you intended. Not everything a person writes has to be a bleeding chunk of their very soul, haha. God, I have no idea what I'm even saying...

If I can figure out a way to explain what I mean a bit better, I will come back and do so, but I didn't want to let this one slip by without some remark. Even if this isn't my favorite thing of yours, it's still of very high quality. I'm going to have to echo Lisa: you are very advanced in your writing. How long have you been writing poetry? Because the quality of work I see from you suggests a veteran with many years' experience, yet I know you're still comparatively young. And that just makes it all the more impressive. This isn't something I say to many people, but you have truly found your voice. Some writers, even good ones, never do. So carry on, Bay. Carry on.


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## Angel101 (Feb 18, 2012)

Thanks everyone for your replies. Bachelorette, this piece was a bit of a strain for me because I don't feel ready to express what I need to for a piece like this, so that might be what you're sensing. How long have I been writing poetry? Truth? Not that long. Wrote a few pieces when I was 16/17, posted them a little later, then didn't start writing poetry again until last year. But my father was a very gifted poet. Still is, I guess.


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## Gumby (Feb 20, 2012)

I especially loved these lines:



> the sputter of undiagnosed time, body, and reason.





> I hope you never find me peeled
> in rootless, faithless distance,



What beautiful phrasing you have.


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## Damien. (Feb 21, 2012)

This is insanely wonderful.


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## shedpog329 (Feb 24, 2012)

*
"And I Think You’re....Kind...."
*
This Here, In Its Own Roles Verse...Appears First To Be The Narrative Persona (To My Understanding, I Could Be Wrong)
But Within Itself, The Poem Is Rather Silly...I Dont Get The Sense Of Hatred Or Dislike.....It Loving, But Silly


*"Maybe I Should.... Like My Voice....."*

These Two Lines, I Got The Perspective Of Independence However, An Uncertanty In Itself As Well....The Narrator Is On The Bound Here, You're Latter However I Am Not So Certain About Its Text, There Is A Need For Both Persons, There Is Clash


*"I Hope You....Adorn Your Ears With....Me **Curling My Spine "

*
This Was Beautiful


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