# Dear Mother,



## SilverMoon (May 6, 2011)

I recall you mother
like the moist shore remembers the water.
Like trees remember the seasons.
And like the mountains that remember its climbers.

I point to your love, humour, brilliance and beauty.
I’ve carried them in my eyes all of these years.

Grandmother told me I used to make you laugh
and I smiled knowing a certain heaven.
You deserved a worldfull of laughter.

You, Radcliffe girl turned housewife,
taught me that there is beauty in the sad.

_“I looked for a clear white stream
To cool my feverish eyes;
Blinded by murk and dust,
Deafened, I felt I must
Shut out the nightmare scream
Of cities with hidden skies”_

You’d read many more from your pen to me.
I, your eager audience, shunned the sun and the sandbox
while you steered my young mind down poetic avenues.

My chubby hands would hold onto your one in the end.
Others would not see it tremble.

I never minded you drinking. 
I thought Jack Daniels was a family friend.

After they told me the angels had taken you to heaven,
I drew angels in black crayon. Fiercely.

I write now, mother. 
I write about how there is beauty in the sad.

In so short a time, you gave me long love. 
I’ve never been so long loved before.

I heard the first cricket of the season the night I prayed for some sign of you. 
Yes. It was the cricket I had asked for.

Thank you for never really leaving me. 

Love, your daughter


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## TheFuhrer02 (May 6, 2011)

Wow, I don't know what to say. Such an emotional piece can leave you breathless sometimes.



> I recall you mother
> like the moist shore remembers the water.
> Like warm hot chocolate on a winter’s night.



The alliterations in this stanza hooked me from the start. Almost melted me. Your wordplay is serene and catching, as always.



> In so short a time, you gave me long love.
> I’ve never been that long loved before.



This was the peak for me. This felt so... vulnerable. Very, very well delivered.

Again, a heartwarming read, and such a sincere poem for a mom. :thumbl:


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## SilverMoon (May 6, 2011)

Thank you so. I mentioned in your thread that your poem to your mother inspired this one. So many Mother's Days have gone by and I've never written her a letter-poem. It's about time. There were ups and downs but she gave be the best six loving years of my life.


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## TheFuhrer02 (May 6, 2011)

*blushes* It is a great privilege to be someone else's inspiration. Thank you for that.


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## SilverMoon (May 6, 2011)

You are certainly welcome!


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## ewan (May 6, 2011)

Wow! a poet and a real poem with substance. I shall look out for more of your works. Thank you.
Regards


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## SilverMoon (May 6, 2011)

Thank you, ewan. And it's nice to have a follower. Namaste ~


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## arkayye (May 7, 2011)

Smitten and heartbroken all at once. The pain and the beauty of it all and thanksgiving that above love she has given you the legacy of poetry. 
A true gift, if there ever was one.


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## A Saucerful of Secrets (May 7, 2011)

What a beautiful and moving poem, I really like this, it even made me shed a tear.

The first stanza is so comforting and I love the analogy (if that's the correct term): 

'I recall you mother
like the moist shore remembers the water.'

'I, your eager audience, shunned the sun and the sandbox' you used alliteration and internal rhyme to produce a really great line, there's so much more that can be read into in this succinct little nugget! 

and your use of imperfect rhyme I thought was really effective in the line:

 'They told me the angels had taken you to heaven.
So for a year I drew nothing but them in black crayon.'

I love the way you ended it, a really moving piece.

Kindest regards,

Saucerful


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## Nenada (May 7, 2011)

This caught my attention straight away;



> like the moist shore remembers the water.


 
I love the idea that everytime the wave breaks shore it is like recalling a memory, refreshing and renewing it.  Ah, beautiful.  And the poem continues in such a thoughful and bittersweet way.



> I write now, mother. And at times I think you’re proud.


 
I hope I'm not overstepping the mark in saying this, but I'm sure she would be.  Wonderful work indeed.


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## SilverMoon (May 7, 2011)

Saucerful, sorry about that tear but I guess it shows that I did my job. Thank you so for taking the time to really dig into my piece. A literary archeologist!



> 'I recall you mother
> like the moist shore remembers the water.'


Yes. This is an analogy but also a "similie". A figure of speech that expresses the resemblance of one thing to another of a different category, usually introduced by _as_ or _like.

_


> shunned the sun and the sandbox


Thank you. I wish I could say it was an alliteration but it's not. In order for an alliteration to happen you must have three not only two same sounding initials (so many people make that mistake and settle for two). I have three words beginning with "s" but notice how "shunned" sounds differently from "sun and sandbox". I did not qualify! :sad: But I am glad you liked that patch rhyme.

Than you so much for paying attention to my details. Laurie


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## SilverMoon (May 7, 2011)

Nenada,



> I love the idea that everytime the wave breaks shore it is like recalling a memory, refreshing and renewing it


Here I am, critiquing your critique! How beautifully put. I do believe that there's art in review.

Yes. Exactly. Bittersweet is the way I would describe this poem. You found the word.

No overstepping boundaries. I believe she is proud at times but is mortified with my poor punctuation! She was always a forgiving soul.

Thank you, Nenada, for your generous feedback. Laurie


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## Gumby (May 8, 2011)

Very moving and poignant, Laurie. I can't imagine how it feels to have lost your Mom at such a young age! I'm so glad you have some good memories of her.


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## SilverMoon (May 8, 2011)

Thank you, Cindy. I never get weepy around Mother's Day. Sometimes forget "it's" the day. But I've gotten a little sentimental these days and felt she needed a proper tribute. She was truly a special woman. Too good for this world. I'm not all that good which is probably why I'm here on this earth to write about her


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## Chesters Daughter (May 8, 2011)

I know Ms. Edith must be just about ready to burst with pride at this very moment, you've done your Mama proud, Law. This piece is brilliance at its best, had to don shades to write my reply. I'm aware of the entire backstory, so this piece is especially touching for me. You ripped me in two, half of me elated you had her, the other half brokenhearted you lost her so young. I distinctly remember that stanza you quoted from her pieces you were kind enough to share with me. She was extremely talented, and she passed that gift onto you in its full glory, she's in every word you write, Law, her essence in every stroke of your pen, always with you. She gave you a gift that keeps on giving, to you, and to us, your enchanted audience. I have been in love with your work from your very first posted piece, all I could think was, please let her stay, and you did. This is one of the most beautiful pieces I've ever read, it grabs the reader and puts them in flight like the wind caresses and carries an autumn leave. Stunning. My favorite lines:

like the moist shore remembers the water

I, your eager audience, shunned the sun and the sandbox (superb mix of alliteration and assonance)
while you steered my young mind down poetic avenues.

In so short a time, you gave me long love. (excellent contrast)
I’ve never been so long loved before.

You were quite the apt pupil for you take the sad and turn it into undeniable beauty that touches the souls of all who read you. Fabulous work, dear Laurie. And being me, I must add the following, you missed the space between world and full. Sorry, love, you know how anal I am. lol.

Big hugs,
Lisa


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## shadows (May 8, 2011)

A beautiful and moving tribute to your mum.  I too loved the line



> ike the moist shore remembers the water.



The sense of memories coming in waves

and also


> there is beauty in the sad



I think it goes deeper than teaching.  You feel it to see it.


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## SilverMoon (May 8, 2011)

Thank so much Shadows for your apt observations. 





> You feel it to see it.


 Nice!


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## SilverMoon (May 8, 2011)

Dearest Lisa, I don't know what to say! You've overwhelmed me with your graciousness and understanding. (You do know the back story. Sometimes it wasn't easy being the child of a brilliant mother.) My mother was a scholar from the old school writing in iambic pentameter mostly. I have never risen to that level. So, she's the tops. And so are with yet another brilliant review. OK. "world full" Being a free verse writer I took creative license and made them one word. Simply, it looked better to me. Now, I wonder what my mother would have to say!

Thank you, dear. Now, I have to go squeeze my head through the door.


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## Squalid Glass (May 9, 2011)

That first stanza is chalk full of powerful images. That is what I envy most about your writing: the images. You are very skilled in presenting beautiful images and that is why, I think, your poetry is as powerful as it is.

No comment on the emotion in this piece. It speaks for itself. Well done.


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## SilverMoon (May 10, 2011)

Thank you, SG. For me imagery is so important to a poem. It's what draws you in.


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## The Revious One (May 10, 2011)

The thing that struck me about this is the sincerity in your words, I found this beautifully written and very, very uplifting.

A fitting tribute, I aspire to write that kind of touching truth.


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## SilverMoon (May 10, 2011)

Thank you so much, Revious. You're the first to describe my poem as uplifting and I applaud you. No matter how dark my subjects are the creation and outcome of my imagery "is" uplifting for me. And in general, this poem speaks of the close relationship I had with my mother and my need to protect her and eagerness to learn from her. This has to be uplifting.  And this poem is all about truth. No imagination was required except for the imagery in first stanza. She read to me, she drank and I was very protective of her. I did draw angels in black for quite some time after her demise. My anger at such a great loss.  At last, I asked for the sign. To hear the first cricket of the season, a sign that she was with me on a very lonely evening. The sadness for me is that I wonder (simply) what it would be like to go on a shopping spree with her (she loved to shop and I heard that she spoiled me rotten with gifts) and then go for a fancy meal, exchanging witty remarks, maybe at the Algonquin. She was very clever this way. I inherited just a tad of it. Funny, just about every relative has said that I'm just like her. When her first husband met me, he cried. That kind of freaked me out but that clearly spoke of that which my relatives have said. What an honor! And thank you, again.


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## The Revious One (May 10, 2011)

SilverMoon said:


> Thank you so much, Revious. You're the first to describe my poem as uplifting and I applaud you. No matter how dark my subjects are the creation and outcome of my imagery "is" uplifting for me.




To be preverse, I find comfort and take inspiration from darkness whether it be poetry or music. What people find depressing, I find uplifting. Again. an absolutely engrossing piece, thanks again.


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## candid petunia (May 10, 2011)

SilverMoon said:


> I recall you mother
> like the moist shore remembers the water.
> Like trees remember the seasons.


 

Captured my heart from the start. Very moving, my heart ached. The above lines depict the intense longing.




SilverMoon said:


> After they told me the angels had taken you to heaven,
> I drew angels in black crayon. Fiercely.



Angels in black. I feel it. No further comment.

Loved this piece.


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## toddm (May 10, 2011)

I like all the little details that make her memory real, for you, and for us - very tender and heartfelt, and honest.
Where is the "poem within the poem" from? (I see now it was her very own hand - what a gift she passed on to you.)
It's difficult to write a tribute to someone without it all dripping with oversentimentality, you pulled this off beautifully 
---todd


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## Celeste Barwick (May 10, 2011)

Thank you for sharing this heartfelt piece, and for not holding back. You have a very unique, genuine voice. I always enjoy reading your work. Thanks for being so bravely personal.


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## Flapjack (May 11, 2011)

I just read this. Don't you know that southern men don't cry! I honestly teared up. Very beautiful. I have nothing specific beyond what fuhrer and chestersdaughter said. I will definitely read your threads from now on. Thanks.


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## SilverMoon (May 11, 2011)

*Revious*



			
				The Revious One said:
			
		

> To be preverse, I find comfort and take inspiration from darkness whether it be poetry or music


 
Not perverse at all. Basic. If not for darkness we would know no light. Read my "Signature" below. Flowers without weeds? A no go if you want to describe the world and it's people within acurately. We all have two sides. I'm just drawn to the dark because my aunt had me watching "House on Haunted Hill" when I was six. No, really, it goes much deeper than that!

Thank you, I'm glad you found it an engrossing piece.

*Candid Petunia*

You're the first to comment on my black angels. What a way for a child to excersize catharsis. Thank you for appreciating the piece.




			
				Toddm said:
			
		

> It's difficult to write a tribute to someone without it all dripping with oversentimentality


 
*Toddm*, Oh! Banish the thought! Crude as this will sound but I don't believe in throwing up on paper. You don't want to bring your readers into the lavatory.

*Celeste*, you now know I did hold back a little... _wink_ Thank you, in advance, for your understanding.

*Flapjack*, A southern gent cried? This has to be the greatest compliment. Y'all should try it more often. Good for soul. Thank you for sharing that my poem reached you.


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