# Joe the Delinquent



## Divus (Jul 1, 2010)

*JOE the Delinquent 1200 words*​ 
Well the little devil has boobed, indeed, he has committed an arch cardinal sin, one which will never ever be forgotten. Amongst the herd of horses at the livery yard Joe stands out. He is not spoilt, he has no fancy pedigree, he doesn’t even know who his parents were. He is, to put it mildly a common cob. He won’t do fancy paces. He won’t prance about with lots of froth foaming from his mouth and he won’t even enter the dressage arena since he can’t read the letters. He has not got a nice long bendy neck and neither does he have four of those long legs, at the end of which should be delicate, clean shaven feet. The only thing fast about The Boy is the speed at which his beard grows. His mane tumbles both sides of his crest, whereas it is supposed to fall down on one side or the other. Even L’Oreal can’t help. His tail is a mop of long, curly and very coarse hair. Oh! and he wobbles when he walks because he is saving his body fat for a rainy day. But all of these minor discrepancies in form and style have been forgiven, because he is undoubtedly “kind”.  He is also my mate.

Joe is of course currently working his ticket since he knows he’s got it made. The work is not too hard. The field in which he lives, is in reality at this time of the year, his fiefdom around which he allows other horses to wander during the hours of daylight only. Joe and his friend, the artful dodger, Teddie the Shetland, hold the field for at least 14 hours of the 24 hour day. Hard food, theoretically banned by the vet, comes along morning and night in a bucket; the principle being that both he and Teddie need sustenance to ward off the cold. In fact, it has been real cold hereabouts over the last few weeks even down to minus 5degC on perhaps one or two nights. But don’t feel too sorry for our vanner equine, after all he does have a waterproof top rug and a padded under rug to keep him warm.

The Day of Revelation started around lunchtime on one Sunday. It was sunny and for once, the air was still. We set off together to find how long it would take to get over to the pub some six miles away. No problems really with the route, except we had to cross the busy fast road which has been a major highway since the time of the Romans. Joe eventually, after an occasional sharp tap as encouragement, got a move on. With me aboard, he walked and trotted in some style with bags of impulsion. Certainly there was no lolloping along. We got to the turning point by the bridge under the highway without too much trouble. Coming back we took a slightly different route, which would take us past the pub. I was confident that there would be time for a swift glass of red wine. As it happened the journey to the pub went according to plan, including the crossing of the hectic highway.

At the pub the car park has a number of bays each of which is defined by baskets of stones up to which it was all very easy to hitch The Boy. Before leaving the stable yard I had fished out a nice new red head collar but the lead rope was twenty years old and was to prove to be well past its sell by date, I hitched the Boy up carefully and I went into the pub to get my glass of wine and Joe’s packet of crisps - yes, a horse likes potato chips. The landlord had only just said farewell to the last lunchtime customer and he was now relaxed enough to exchange a few pleasantries with me. The chatting lasted for 15 minutes or so, not more. Then I stood up to go and ride the mile or so back to the yard. But it was not to be. In the interim the Boy Joe had taken matters into his own control. He had yanked back on the lead rope holding him to the cage of stones and had broken the tie. The old lead rope had simply snapped in two and now he was free to go wherever he wanted. So off he went. No, he didn’t turn right towards the road, that would have been stupid and very dangerous. He instinctively turned left and set off up the lane for home. Indeed he had reached the village before one of the other residents of the yard saw him trotting up the road without a rider. Luckily with a little human guidance he reached his stable safely.

But what Joe had done was inexcusable: he’d left me, back in the pub. Just why had he done that? His action was one of gross disloyalty. I would never ever have left Joe to find his way home, just why had The Boy left behind the Old Man, the hand that feeds and nurtures him? What might happen in the future when the odd couple venture even further afield? Is it OK for Joe to just set off for home as and when he pleases? No that is too much. If Joe is left tied up, then he must wait, willingly and patiently. No argument. That’s what he’s kept for. The Old Man might have had one too many and he would need looking after. Those are the rules.

The Boy does not have to jump anything over two foot high, neither does he have to race against a clock. He doesn’t have to make fancy moves in time to music nor does he have to do shoulder-ins and flying changes. All he has to do is to take his master down the road and trot up purposely towards any traffic that is coming up the road until that traffic gets out of the way. But *THE *prime requirement is to get the Old Man to where he wants to go and, never to be forgotten, *he must bring him home again*. It is highly unlikely that nowadays our faithful steed will ever be asked to bring the Old Man back home when he’s had far too much tipple but bringing the Old Man, whatever his state, back home is a must. Leaving the Old Man behind at the pub is a definite “No-No“.

So one can see that our Joe is not perfect. He’ll climb mountains. He’ll descend slopes. He’ll go where no horse has gone before and he’ll do it mostly without other equine company. He’ll jiggle past cars and he’ll do pretty much what is asked of him without too much fuss. You can even crouch underneath him whilst you pick out his feet. But, be warned, watch the little devil very carefully when you leave him tied up in the car park. He might decide to go home without you.


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## The Backward OX (Jul 2, 2010)

I’d like to read more of your stories if they’re all as enjoyable as this one.

There is however a flaw. Much of what’s here is repetition. If you put it away for a time and then re-read it you’ll see what I mean.

You also need to keep on eye on the way you word some of your more complex passages, when you use phrases like “Coming back we took a slightly different route.” Different to what?


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## Divus (Jul 2, 2010)

*DiDi and a token of affection *
*(535 words)*​ 
Do horses and dogs develop an emotional relationship with their human owners? 

As a lifetime owner of dogs, I have absolutely no compunction in saying that dogs do hold their owners with something between affection and contempt. A dog will willingly spend its day alongside a human, if it is allowed to. A horse on the other hand does not usually spend the greater part of its day in the company of its human handler. My own horse, DiDi, exhibits a very kind temperament, almost exceptionally so in some circumstances but I am sure she does not see me in an affectionate light. I do get the occasional little lick and a muzzle nuzzle from her however if I am honest with myself, she is only asking for a treat. 

But the other day I had cause to rethink the matter.

It had been one of those awful, damp and windy days. DiDi had been out in the field with her mates for most of the day. In good weather she is usually to be found half way down the field nibbling the grass. Invariably, at the end of the day when I go out to bring her in, she will look up and stare across to the track to see which human is coming. The distance between us can be a hundred yards or more but annoyingly on most occasions, even though she knows I am coming to collect her, she will stay where she is. I have to walk over to her. She will keep her head down until the last minute to make sure that she doesn’t miss that juicy blade of grass. On this day, things were different. As I appeared on the track, she looked up and immediately started to amble towards the gate. It was obvious to me that she was cold and she wanted to get to the warmth of her stable and the bucket of feed.

Sam, a gelding is her regular companion in the field. He is no small horse and can be a handful to control when he wants to be awkward. On this occasion Sam, when he had caught sight of me, had also made a move towards the gate. Instantly DiDi snapped out of her slow amble. She dropped her head down, pulled her ears right back, bared her teeth and then galloped towards me and Sam, who by now was getting close to me. There was no mistaking DiDi’s meaning, and even though she had not made a sound, the message to Sam was crystal clear: “That human is mine, get off”. Sam instantly backed off. Hell hath no fury like an angry Irish mare. And with her rump strategically placed to give Sam a pair of hooves should he come too close, DiDi meekly, almost insistently, allowed me to slip the head collar over her ears and to lead her back to the stable.

I had to smile. I was her minion and no other horse was allowed to come near me. Here indeed was a token of affection. 

Of course I could be kidding myself, maybe the Huzzy was telling two males who was the real boss.


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## cacafire (Jul 3, 2010)

I can't say I appreciated the first story too much... It was difficult to get into. Unfortunately, I can't quite put my finger on why. Señora, please, try not to layer complex sentence after complex sentence too tightly. It's good that you can create interesting narratives, but leave room for a simple pert phrase or too. This allows the reader to get his bearing once in a while. I kind of got lost in all the complex clauses.

Also, I'm not sure if the ending was intentional or not. Not many writers explicitly state the theme of their story. Nor do they explicitly state morals, unless the piece is a work of mythology. And if this is a piece of mythology, the moral is a little strange. A moral like, "Don't trust joe, cause he'll leave you in the bar" doesn't really work when it's so specific. The best morals come when they are universal elements of human life. But I hardly think that's what you were going for.

In any case, what happened to the master? The old man in the pub? How'd he get home? These things are important to the story.
Sorry I couldn't help more,
sincerely,
Cacafire.


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## Divus (Jul 3, 2010)

Cacafire
Maybe a word or two of explaination is required.  
Firstly the writer, me,  is a man who rides in Britain a very well behaved horse. Horse riding is in Britain a sport dominated by women.      Few British women would ride, on their own, their horse to a pub - a bar - an inn - to drink wine.  Few women would ever tie their horse up outside a bar and go inside.   This is a cultural issue.

In a woman's eyes, it was true justice that the horse - in this instance also a male - broke away from the tie and made his own way home leaving the man in the pub to later  walk home alone.   A woman rider would see the horse's action as natural justice.
I the rider, deserved my punishment and incidentally the implied humiliation.

Myself having been to San Antonio on many occasions I can well understand why the story has no relevance to yourself - a woman - but neither would it appeal to a Texan man.

Maybe you might like the second story about an Irish draught mare more to your taste.    That is all about the 'jealousy' of a female horse for her male owner - again not necessarily a concept readily accepted in the Southern States.     

As to the phraseology - sorry but the article is written in English English and not Texan English and the two 'languages' are significantly different.    But that is another subject altogether.

Thank you for pointing out an issue I had not considered ie the impact of culture even in the horse world.


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## Baron (Jul 3, 2010)

Do you live in the same Britain?  Horse riding is enjoyed by both men and women.  I've been into equestrian sports for as long as I can remember and played polo regularly until I suffered a spinal injury.

It's also not uncommon for women to ride to the pub or to simply stop off at the pub for a break when they're out riding.  40 years ago it might have been different but this is 2010 and women will generally do what they want.


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## Divus (Jul 3, 2010)

Baron We need more of your sort over here in South Wales.

I assure you that I am the only male rider going to a pub on horse back for miles around.


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## Baron (Jul 3, 2010)

I'm in Berkshire and with the Guards Polo Club on my doorstep, as well as several major racing stables, it tends to be a very horsey area.


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## cacafire (Jul 4, 2010)

Interesting. Oh, and my apologies for calling you a Señora, (which is spanish for Madam.) I thought you were a woman, incidentally. Perdòn, con permiso.
Contrary to popular belief, the horse years in south texas are gone in the big cities. Even in south san antonio, where you have a lot of fields and forests, if you're not a rancher, you don't deal with horses. Interestingly enough, there's a stable for horses about 150/250 yards from my house. I'll have to go check it out. 

I'll read the next story.


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## cacafire (Jul 4, 2010)

Divus, I greatly apreciated the second story. It was funny, humorous, and kind. I have a mild headache right now, but I promise that when I return, I'll give my best shot at an honest critique. I will say that it was much easier to get into. I worked on a ranch one summer in exchange for horse-riding lessons(ok, so maybe horses in south texas aren't quite as dead as I think. ) when I was about 14, and while I never had a "true token of affection", I could picture everything quite clearly in my minds eye on that ranch, in the texas climate. Haha. A little differently, since usually it doesn't quite get that cold down here.

But a really nice story.
Sincerely,
El hombre con gafas, Cacafire.X\'D


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## Divus (Jul 5, 2010)

We humble citizens stationed  along the banks of the Severn in order to  defend a French bridge  from the Welsh Nationalists, have to content ourselves with more humble horsey activities than chasing a ball with a long handled  mallet.   Anyway our cobs are not quite so agile as those Argentinian Criollos.


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## Divus (Jul 24, 2010)

Here's another horsey tale - for those that like tales about horses

*LEOPARDS DON’T CHANGE THEIR SPOTS*​ 

And there was me beginning to think that Joe, my 15h2 dark bay hairy cob, had changed his ways. I had watched all the new fancy movements which he has started to perform in the schooling arena. I was using the borrowed Pathfinder saddle which makes me sit deeper and I had put the whip to one side. We had gone up to the Xmas Tree car park in the woods where all the Endurance Group had parked up. I had paid my respects to the event organisers. Joe was instantly recognised by the two ladies from last year. They didn’t remember me, but they remembered Joe. I pointed out that he was a little slimmer last year but, of course, this was because he had now filled out - met the potential of his breeding, shall we say. No doubt he would appear to those ladies as being positively dumpy when compared with all the lean, fit - even skinny, Arabs. Eventually Joe and I moved off and rode up towards the ridge. A short sharp canter took the wind out of Joe’s sails but we got to the top quite quickly and dropped down the other side. Going down the steep slope Joe was very positive in his movements - if anything a little too fast even for a sure footed cob but I took no notice at the time. Suddenly we were amongst the pink ribbons, which marked the route for the ride. We mosied along - the terrain can be quite uneven along this path and eventually we reached the road at the bottom of the hill. We were motoring at what I felt to be a smart walk but then suddenly I heard : “clip clop”. All of a sudden a voice called out: “Is it OK for me to come thru?”. Blimey, I thought, she must be fast but I called back : ”Of course”. I nudged Joe over to the right to allow her to pass inside and very quickly the pair were in front and moving away. It was a Mature Lady mounted on a smart and lean Arab.


Joe suddenly perked up - “what’s this?” His neck came right up. The pair turned off left at the junction to follow the ribboned route, which it so happened, was the quickest way home for us. Joe suddenly went into super hype. Instantly we were on tip toe. It would not have been appropriate to follow the Mature Lady and her steed. If I had allowed Joe to go after her now that she was out of sight, we would have taken off at the gallop and rightfully she would have been miffed to say the least. A heavy horse like Joe galloping up a tarmacced lane is not an elegant sight. It is not a true gallop - it is more of a flat charge. He would not have stopped until he was alongside his new equine mate - Sheik Omar - if that is what the Arab is called. If I had actually lost control of Joe, then to stop him would have been tricky - even if a tractor was coming the other way. As it was he still tried all of the evasions - nose up, nose down, sharp turns left, barging backwards bum first. But he needs the use of his neck to move on and I had the neck bent. This display was interspersed with several loud horse calls to the Sheik - which luckily were not replied to. Finally I got him to stand but it was a jittery stand, facing the way we had come but at least we were not going sideways, backwards or to the left or right. However the big risk was that other riders would soon be coming along this lane. 


In truth there was no option for me. I had to turn away from home. That route is a long quite steep and very slippery lane with few passing places. The danger is that the horse will lose its footing. With only one full wheelie, I got him pointed him down the lane and we set off. As luck would have it, up behind us came a 4WD with a trailer. I dare not trot on - the driver had to be patient and must follow me slowly until we got to the field entrance. Luckily he was the well mannered sort. When we got to John’s place, Joe knew that if we turned left we might meet up with the ride again - so we had another little tussle. I pushed him on and down an even steeper stretch of the road. And so the ride continued. Before we got to the farm we had met up with five or six cars and one tractor trimming the hedgerows. Getting past that tractor was a game for sure, with my pointing Joe into a field hoping that he did not realize that actually he was facing by compass the direct route for home.


One effect of Joe being in this mood is the massive impulsion but actually the rider is sitting on a tinder box. The power expressed by 635 kilos of wilful cob between the thighs is enormous. The reins must be held firmly in both gloved hands keeping the Boy’s neck short. If things are getting tricky, then wrap one of the reins around the left hand. He’s too strong for any rider to pull round right. What the rider is really trying to do is to relax but as the tension is released, so the Boy takes up the slack Talk about: back straight, head up, toes up, heels down - all the rider can think about in this scenario is - what is coming round the corner next? Joe had the bit, a Waterford, held firmly in his jaws. The slightest encouragement to him to move up a gear would be the signal for a gallop. To stop him once on the move, the only effective technique is to aim him straight for the bank, the bush or preferably a tree, if one is handy. I was talking to him and slowly giving back the reins, letting Joe have his neck whilst sitting very light and keeping my legs away from the horse’s flanks. If we were out in the open, then the thing to do would be to let him go and make him use up his energy - even push him on until he tires. But in a narrow, single track country lane, one’s only option is to walk - it is far too dangerous to try trotting, especially on a downwards slope. Every now and again Joe would roar out - hoping his new found mate, the Sheik, would call back. But thankfully he never did. 


Oh yes, we got home safely eventually We’d been out just over two hours I dropped down off his hot, wet, steaming, smelly, sweaty, back and untacked him. By now, butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. He had even dawdled into the yard. 


As an experienced rider, I know all about apprehension passing down from the rider through the reins or down through the saddle. I understand the theory of pushing a button and the natural response should follow but delicacy doesn’t stop Joe when he is having a strop. Incidentally I have never read in any horsey book, how to make a horse roar out. Neither do I know what makes Joe show the signs of hunting fever, when all he has seen are a few pink ribbons and one fancy Arab, ridden by a very polite Mature Lady. A lady, who had absolutely no idea of the impact she had had on both me and Joe. However the really sad thing is that I can’t join up either with any other group until My Boy Joe has learned some manners. But the big problem is how do I teach him manners which he will mind when he is in super hype mode? 


I suppose we could always start up a milk cart racing group.


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## Divus (Jul 28, 2010)

*Joe & George - chalk & cheese*​
I watched Joe being ridden by George today. George is used to riding Thorobreds and impulsion with his own four horses is never a problem. He was obviously not at all comfortable on Joe, a cold blooded cob. Three of George’s horses are all narrow bodied, long legged, tall, warm bloods. They live indoors in stables permanently and only rarely do they get to frolic freely around a grassy field. George’s constant problem with them is to contain their exuberance (or perhaps their frustration?). I am beginning to understand why he gets thrown off them quite so often and perhaps these forcible ejections of the rider are not just because the horses have been startled by a plastic bag - it may have something to do with George’s way of permanently holding them in check. Because of their power and youth, his need when riding his horses is generally speaking to hold them in, whereas today with Joe, his problem was to make him go on. Joe is always a laid back horse whereas George’s equines are rarely relaxed. Worse, for George in my mind, is that perhaps his horses, which undoubtedly he dotes upon, don’t like him in return. 

For George, Joe was far too lethargic. Yet Joe is, in many ways, a far more powerful animal than any of George’s. However Joe’s power lies in his dense bone & his muscular structure whereas the power of the Thorobreds lies in their agility, lightness and speed. Joe is a bomber plane, George’s horses are fighter planes. Joe’s body is heavy and his cobby legs are shorter than a Thorobred’s. Joe’s legs are for supporting, or even pulling weight. His centre of gravity lies forward of that of George’s Thorobreds. However whilst being heavier on the forehand, Joe is not a carthorse. Joe is a ride and drive horse, although one which to my knowledge has never been put to the cart. George likes to jump and Thorobreds are bred for speed and jumping ability. The sum total of these differences in the two types of horse dictates that Joe needs to be ridden with a different technique from that practised on a Thorobred. Also, Joe, being a cold blooded horse, living out in a field, always needs time to warm up. Petrol engines run from cold, diesels give their best performance once warmed up. 

To manoeuvre at speed Joe needs to feel flexible and taking him into an arena and expecting him to be agile without a short spell of limbering up in walk and trot is asking for trouble. Undoubtedly George ‘s big mistake was to ask too much of Joe too soon and within an a confined space, which Joe is not used to. As a result, I watched The Boy strongly resist George, whose usual technique would be to try to force his will upon any horse which was not showing instant compliance. George’s first difficulty was to keep Joe at the canter but if he’d not been pulling back with his hands trying to get Joe’s nose down maybe Joe would have kept going. But on this occasion with George on board, bouncing about on his back, all Joe wanted to do, was to leave the ring. 

It seems that George needs for his sense of self worth to be seen to be the master over any horse at all times. He demands instant obedience. I on the other hand, seeks compliance and only punishes a horse’s overt disobedience. To me always the first question must be: did the horse understand the original request? In this episode I think not. With the benefit of hindsight I must ask myself: just what was George trying to prove? It became very obvious that Joe did not want to play the same game.

I believe that Joe was not compliant because he did not understand exactly what was being asked of him. George had mounted him, taken him into the arena and demanded a short walk, then a short trot, then almost immediately a canter. George had asked, or rather demanded, the canter too soon. Joe had just 15 minutes earlier been munching grass in a field on a very cold day. The inevitable outcome was resistance from what can be a very stubborn horse. Joe’s nose went up into the air and whilst the horse did go forwards, the last thing he intended to do was to relax into the exercise. 

For the sidelines, I was horrified at the spectacle. I even asked myself if that was how Joe might look when I was riding him. I hope not and I think not. Joe doesn’t resist me, although just sometimes, he takes his time to respond to my requests. He rarely spooks. But there again I don’t ride with my hands; I ride on my fork using my weight on the horse‘s back. The reins, often held in one hand only, are mostly left in loose contact with the mouth, and only rarely do I feel the need to hold the reins with both hands, but there again we don’t often train in the arena Never do I attempt to bring Joe’s nose down by pulling back on the bit. I’ll feel for contact with both hands and wait for the neck to rise and the nose to drop. In this exercise George was using both hands in an attempt to pull Joe’s nose down. The more George pulled, the more Joe resisted and in a way Jo had the advantage because the bit in his mouth was a very mild French link snaffle. George’s policy is always to try force and it’s not Joe’s way ever to give in to force readily. If Joe was not a kind horse, then he might on this occasion have even bucked. George had a crop and he used it to punish the horse and not to aid communication.

But Joe has, in his years of trekking, met with riders like George before. Eventually if Joe doesn’t feel happy with the rider on his back then sometimes the result is a broken saddle, for Joe has gone down on his knees and rolled with rider still on board The rider then dismounts quickly enough. 

The Moral of this episode :- George can’t be allowed to ride Joe again. But there are lessons for BG too: 
Firstly Joe does need to be loosened up before being exercised in agility.
Secondly, Joe is a sensitive beast and he needs to be understood.
Thirdly, to get Joe agile will be a challenge - but probably an interesting one.
_ 
PS A few weeks later when checking out whether of not a saddle fitted, BG went back into the arena on Joe. Getting The Boy to take it gently was a problem , he wanted to trot on and at an ever faster pace.. This could have been the effect of the saddle, which sits on the back in a slightly different position from the old saddle. It could also have been the effect of George standing on the sidelines. The gate had been left open and on one occasion Joe even made a dash for it.
_


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## Divus (Aug 2, 2010)

Posted 12/235

You folks are reading this thread but noone is saying anything.   So here is another:

JOE & The Classical Riding Group​
As usual when he heard me coming round to the stable, Joe came over to the door ready to nudge for a tidbit. However today I was a bearer of news. He would listen as long as he had a horse biscuit. I had to tell him that he had been enrolled in the Classical Riding Groupand that he was a founder member. His immediate question is: “*what’s it mean to be a Classical Horse*”. 

Well, I explained to him that he did not have to be a Lusitano or an Andalucian to be a member. He had previously understood that to be a classical horse he would eventually have to fight bulls or do funny dancing around a pole but I explained to him that he would not be asked to do anything of the sort. The obvious question came next about what he did have to do. I said that there was very little really but what he had to do he had to perform properly. 


“*I do it properly already*” came back instantly.
I said “Oh no you don’t - you walk around with your nose in the air and regularly you trip over things“. 
“*Well I am a big Boy, who never got no schooling - so maybe you should cut me some slack.” *
“Well, I said, if you carried yourself properly then it would not be so difficult to carry me on your back“. 
*“You mean you are going to lose weight? 
*“No, I said, but Lady K is going to teach you how to walk properly“. 
“*What more of that crossing over of the legs and more going round in circles?” 
*“Maybe“, I said. 
*“Will that Lady K woman be riding me again?” 
*“Probably,” I replied. 
*“Why?” *“Well she knows how to make you move“. 
*“Well for sure, you don’t.” 
“*Are you saying that I don’t sit on your back properly?” 
*“ You don’t always“.
*“Well if it was any comfort I am going to have lessons too“. 
“*What on me as the guinea pig?” 
*“Where else?” 
“*So what you have been saying is that we have both joined this Classical Club thingie and I am going to walk better and you were going to sit better.” 
*“Pretty much, that’s the idea. OK?”
*“What else does this new club do?” 
*“Well they organise meetings” 
*“What, where I get to meet other horses?” 
*“Yes maybe, if you behave yourself“.
*“What do you get out of all this?”. 
*“Well , there will be some social events too“. 
*“Can I come?” *- “No“. 
*“Why not?” *- 
“Well it’s a human’s thing.” 
*“Do I get salt & vinegars?”. “*Maybe“.
*“How come if we were supposed to be in harmony - you always get the red wine and I don’t always get the salt & vinegars?”. 
*“Well I have already told you why and it is called “communication” - again that’s part of the deal. I talk to you nicely and you talk to me gently and we both listen. Got it?” 
*“So the deal is - you’re always going to be nice to me and I am going to do what you ask me to do - without question. No questions, ever?” *-” Yep” 
*“You’ve gotta to be joking“.
*“Well I told you, this is going to be fun - so start laughing” 

 
With that Joe turned his back on me and walked over to his hay net. To him no doubt, he had heard it all before. He knew how to carry his rider and, if push came to shove, he knew how to manage his rider. As usual he would hold his peace and cross the bridge when  he got to it.


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## The Backward OX (Aug 2, 2010)

Divus said:


> I had to tell him that he had been enrolled in the Classical Riding Groupand that he was a founder member. His immediate question is: “*what’s it mean to be a Classical Horse*”.
> 
> Well, I explained to him that he did not have to be a Lusitano or an Andalucian to be a member. He had previously understood that to be a classical horse he would eventually have to fight bulls or do funny dancing around a pole but I explained to him that he would not be asked to do anything of the sort. The obvious question came next about what he did have to do. I said that there was very little really but what he had to do he had to perform properly.
> 
> ...


Some of us already know what a Classical Horse is. But for those that don't, this story would be vastly improved if a few words were included that tell the reader a wee bit more than the "very little really but what he had to do he had to perform properly" used above. It wouldn't take much. Maybe even a pic might help. Like this:







Cheers


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## Gumby (Aug 2, 2010)

I am thoroughly enjoying all of your stories, Divus. I haven't found any of them hard to follow and have only seen very minor typos, things easily missed and easily fixed.


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## Divus (Aug 2, 2010)

In response to the Ox's suggestion that more be said about The Classical Method of riding a horse, herewith please find an article which to a certain extent explains why I felt Joe could benefit from a little tuition.       Sorry but I could not find a photo of me sitting on The Boy's back wearing a pair of white jodhs and a flat bowler.


WHY TEACH JOE THE CLASSICAL WAY​ 
I once made an effort to help form a local  Classical Riding Group and for this reason I have been asked about what the term Classical Riding means to me - after all I don’t have any interest in dressage competitions and my horse Joe has neither Thorobred genes nor Warm Blood in his veins. My personal belief is that the actual breeding of Joe actually makes little difference as to how I should I should bring him up - he’s got four legs and a long neck just like any other horse. The techniques employed in Classical riding are for all horses and relevant to all disciplines including simple hacking. Classical riding is all about how I ask him to take me there and how he carries me when asked to do so. This method is about the rider acquiring a balanced, deep and sensitive seat with an upright stance: the horse is to be ridden from the rider’s central core muscles with instructions being passed down through the legs and the hands. It is about how I personally should ride Joe every time I mount up onto his back to go out for a ride.


There is very little new to be learned about the science of horse riding but some of the techniques developed by the old horsemasters are now being rediscovered and the Classical ways are being brought back into use even in Britain. In Iberian countries, these classical methods were never discarded. If a British horse rider goes to Spain or Portugal and gets the chance to ride an Andalucian or a Lusitano horse then he or she will start to get this message. The problem most likely will be that the average British rider won’t enjoy the full experience, because traditionally the BHS methods won’t allow the rider to get the best from a classically trained horse. 

The British tradition of Equitation has its roots in the Military, the Hunt and the Pony Club. The British horses are also just that little different in conformation from those to be found in Southern Europe and very much to the point - the British have a different attitude towards their horses. On the Continent since the war much effort has been put into the breeding of warmbloods to improve not only their gaits and conformation but also their temperament. The Germany the dressage riders are determined to look elegant and win. In Britain nowadays equitation is a sport dominated by women - in Iberia the sport is dominated by men and that leads to subtlely different attitudes towards horses. Men like to ride flashy good looking horses just for the pleasure of riding them in parades. Personally I have ridden horses in Britain, America and Spain in both English and Western styles. I’d like to be able to ride the Spanish way - it appears very elegant and both rider and horse look very relaxed. Somehow they are in harmony and both are enjoying each others companionship - which should be what horse riding is all about.


I have had lessons from a variety of so called riding teachers over the years. Only one tutor sticks in my mind - Lord Loch - the first husband of Sylvia Loch and initially his pupil, who went on to found the Classical Riding Club in Britain. Though he, as a young man, was a cavalry instructor at Weedon, in his later years he spent most of life in Portugal learning the Iberian way to train horses. In a photo and especially on horseback, he looked typically Portuguese. His life was horses and little else. Lord Loch taught me only for a week but some of what he tried to show me all those years ago must have stuck whereas very little of what all the other tutors have said over the years has affected significantly my style of riding. Most of them had a piece of paper marked “A.I” but for me that did not make them good tutors.


My present method of riding, might perhaps be best described as “mid Atlantic” i.e. a long legged, loose reined with a forward seat (a la Littauer). I’ve little style but mostly a horse will do what I ask of it. Some horses do resist me but no doubt because they are not understanding what I have asked of them. I rarely ride Thoroughbreds even crosses and have never ridden an Arab. All of the five horses I have actually bought and owned were cobs - three Irish, one Welsh, one English. Generally speaking there are significant differences in conformation and temperament between Thoroughbreds and cobs of any type. 


My Joe is a heavy cob with lots of feather, some of it in unexpected places. He’s got a pair of big strong shoulders and a broad flat back with very little wither. Some might say he was built for carrying goods rather than a man. Let us merely say that he is up to the weight of any rider. But Joe is traffic proof and will go anywhere and that includes where other horses might fear to tread. On the whole he is a gentle creature, although at times he is a little self willed. Joe was never taught how to carry his rider, he just got on with the job. Undoubtedly he could carry himself and his rider better if only I could show him how. 


Pretty much the pair of us get on well enough. My body trusts him, even though from time to time he gets very excited. We can go up and down the paces without much confusion and he’ll go right or left with the slightest of nudges. However Joe can be a little lazy when he’s not in the mood and very stubborn if he takes it into his head to be so. He’s got a mouth of iron and can be hard to stop. I’ll not say there is no need to give him a light tap every now and again but I have always been told that that is the way to deal with cobs, so that’s the way I have handled him to date. But each and every tap is actually an example of failure on my part. From time to time I have watched Joe being ridden by other riders and every now and again someone gets on his back and seems to make Joe go well for them. Obviously they have a skill which I lack and I am curious. The standardised aids, that are those little nudges which tell the horse what to do, are pretty much a closed book to me. I ask Joe to walk on or trot and he does it. If he is to go left or right then a squeeze here or a resisted rein are all that is necessary. But our method of communication is not exactly a sophisticated system and it won’t be found in any text book. Luckily for me Joe learns quickly and in all truth he is a very tolerant mount. Somehow he usually knows what I want to do, he reads my mind. After all I am also a creature of habit. 


What I have recently started to consider is maybe that Joe could carry me with less discomfort if I learned to spread my weight more evenly across his back. I have bought him yet another saddle which better fits both him and me and I am constantly trying to place my feet down lower and in the correct position. Perhaps we could communicate better if someone showed me how to make my point with the Boy by using my weight more effectively. My pelvis and seat bones must be placed correctly and I must make more use of my lumbar and abdominal muscles. If necessary I must build those muscles up by exercise. I must perhaps learn the correct aids and employ them at the right moment. I must lead Joe’s movement rather than follow it. Joe on his part must carry both his weight and mine on his hind quarters rather than his front legs and feet. To achieve this posture he must be exercised correctly to develop the muscles in his back. Those slight deformities in his back, following his early life working in a trekking centre, must be sorted out. To steer him I must make less use of my hands and more use of my seat. Throughout this process I must have patience and must not instantly blame Joe for when things don’t go quite right.


My goal is to sit on Joe with the style that Senor Jose sits on Zal down in Spain. Could Joe really move in a light and agile style like Zal the Andalucian? Joe is a handsome chap and he would look quite smart prancing along. If only I could learn to sit better maybe, just maybe, my torso would not ache quite so much after a couple of hours of riding. But someone needs to teach both of us more of the Classical way. There’s to be no tie-downs, no straps, no whips, no shouting - just harmony and mutual understanding, between horse and rider. Of course, that doesn’t mean that on the occasions we go hairing around the paths up in the woods that I can’t shorten the stirrups and rise up into the forward seat but in truth we don’t do that so often these days - its bad for Joe’s feet. 
It would be very nice to learn The Classical Way and it should be fun to learn it together with Joe. 


PS I don't want to spoil the story but suffice it to say that neither Joe nor me was cut out to go Classical.   He would not bend at the poll and my pelvis is bent when it shouldn't be.


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## Divus (Aug 2, 2010)

Ox,
I have a cunning plan to produce a small book, the theme of which is my old horse Joe being  schooled classically.

Sadly JOE did not take to being taught to ride with his nose pointing to the ground .      But I believe the tale makes interesting reading.     The second article, as posted above, would come immediately before the previous 'chatty'  article which you commented upon.

I have always seen the difficulty of making articles on the subject of horses interesting to non riders but as was said to me, there should be enough horse riders out there to make such a book - written by an amateur, as against a professional instructor or high level dressage rider, worth publishing.    

Joe conveyed to me in no uncertain manner that he did not need a rounded outline to take me to the pub and back.   But that is yet another story.


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## Foxee (Aug 2, 2010)

I think reading about an opinionated horse would be fun. And your audience doesn't have to consist of riders, just horse lovers.

I'm not a spy_ (all the time)_ but I like spy stories and intrigue. People like a peek into a well-written engaging experience even if (and sometimes especially if) it's not their own. I think you have that magic.


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## Divus (Aug 10, 2010)

The book has been written and has been edited. There are twenty chapters, some 20,000 words, going from the birth of the idea to teach Joe the classical way and leads to the end, when it is decided that that way is not for Joe, nor his master, The Old Man.
It is not a tale of triumph it merely points out that some horses have to be valued for what they are and not necessarily for what they might one day become - especially if the owner/rider is not as supple as once he had been.

The question remains as to whether the book gets to publication. 

DV


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## Divus (Sep 4, 2010)

The Ox asks for an informative description of a Classical Horse and the viewers continue to visit. 

Well readers herewith a bit of Horse History.

*Equine Espagne*

In Jerez, Andalucía in Southern Spain, there is a Spanish School of Equestrian Art where Spaniards perform on pure blooded Spanish Andalucian stallions, using riding techniques traditionally followed to this day in Spain. Both Spanish Riding Schools provide an elegant display of dressage to a very high standard perhaps both best described as Equestrian Art. The uniforms and especially the hats are different but the displays bear a remarkable similarity. A highlight of the display at both centres is when the horses perform above ground movements such as the Levade, the Capriole and other High School/Haute Ecole specialities. It has been suggested that these movements were developed so as to be useful when the horse was being used in battle. Nowadays these moves are seen more realistically as an acrobatic display by highly trained pedigree stallions performed in front of paying customers. But the movements are magical to watch. A similar exhibition of equine art, often in time to music, is offered by Le Cadre Noir of the French Cavalry at Saumur, perhaps underlining the point that such displays are more a form of ballet than horse riding. Each of these centres is nowadays regarded as being a tourist attraction as well as a national depositary of the skilled traditions of equestrian excellence. 

Incidentally dressage is the French word for training or more exactly “to develop through standardized training methods a horse’s natural ability and willingness to perform, thereby maximising its potential as a riding horse“. However to reach the ultimate standards of haute ecole display, the horse must be taken by highly skilled horsemen through a long process of education and training, traditionally divided into three phases: the young novice horse, the campaign horse and finally the haute ecole horse. In truth for everyday riding, even for success in modern dressage competitions, high school riding is of little use to amateur riders. However, the fundamental principles utilized throughout each of the phases are applicable to all horse training.

A past director of the Spanish School in Vienna, Alois Podhajsky, had stated clearly that the prime purpose of Classical Training was to produce by natural methods and without restraints a well mannered, quiet, supple, obedient & responsive horse whose smooth movements made it a pleasure to ride. This is an objective which must be close to the heart of all horse owners. Equine experts such as the American cowboy, Monty Roberts, must also be considered when trying to get the best out of a horse whilst at the same time trying to retain a harmonious relationship with the animal. The British for some reason, perhaps associated with concepts of efficiency, are prone to want to hurry a process which really needs time. 
The military, the police, the farming community and the hunt all have played their part in the creation of Britain’s national equine herd. Similarly they developed the “English” way of riding. The British passion for crossbreeds has influenced the quality of the horse population. Up until quite recently the true breeding of most horses could only be guessed at. The paperwork was not always accurate. Only after much resistance has the equine passport scheme been introduced, much to the disdain of many breeders, who point out that the British do not eat horsemeat

Few breeders seem to consider temperament as an important inherited characteristic, yet when training a horse, temperament and intelligence are of the utmost importance. But maybe that is part of the problem since it is rare for the breeder to attempt to sell a horse “ready to ride” - that’s perceived to be the purchaser’s area of expertise or the job of the British Horse Society’s registered instructors. 

Perhaps it is not without just cause that many continental horse masters have said in the past that British horses were not for schooling to a high standard. As competitive dressage comes more into vogue, then perhaps the Brits must start to look at the quality of the national herd of horses. 
Furthermore it is not a good thing that most aspirant British riders were taught to ride largely by rote up on the horse’s back in the arena. Unfortunately the theory of how horse and rider should come together is rarely discussed in the classroom even at the riding centre, despite the fact that there is little to know about horse management that our forbears had not learnt long ago. As a matter of good practice we should be reading today what those past masters wrote about horses back in an era when the horse was king of the road.

Maybe the stubborn and powerful Joe could have been taught by a classically trained instructor to use himself better. Joe was certainly not suitable for haute ecole but there again nor was his master. But the old drawings of the Classical masters often show them to be riding a heavy, hairy horse - in appearance much like Joe. And from the drawings the horses were not much taller than 15 hands either. 

To summarize, Classical Riding *Art* is for the professionals only, but the *basic *Classical *training* methods are for all riders who want to learn how to get the best not only from their horses but also from themselves. 

There is one other system of riding to be found in Spain which is Doma Vaquera - literally “style of the cowboy”. The Vaquero was and remains the cowboy of Mexico and the border lands of the Southern USA. The saddle is different, the horse is less refined but the style of riding is still that used by working men to round up cattle and sheep. Seemingly this well proven rural system has not as yet been subjected to the same detailed analysis and inspection as have the “Haute Ecole” systems but nor have the riding systems used for centuries in Asia by Mongols, Tartars and other ethnic groups. It should be remembered that the cowboy spends his life with his horse and he will ride for longer in a day than a modern day rider will in a week or even a month. Living and working full time with each other will allow an altogether different relationship to develop between horse and rider. There’s nothing like mutual dependency to bring a couple together. 

With the benefit of hindsight it is likely that this Spanish country style, the inspiration for Western riding, was more the method which The Old Man was seeking for himself and Joe.     Sadly it did not happen.


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