# ~~~



## Martin (May 19, 2010)

Leaves and branches shivered
in weeping winds.
Night caressed them calm.


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## MaggieG (May 19, 2010)

When I read the first sentence ( It's whistled that is raising my fur now lol ) I wasn't sure if I was going to like it or not. BUT those last two lines brought it home big time.

As far as "whistled" ? It seems irritatingly too happy for the rest of the poem


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## Pete_C (May 20, 2010)

Nice short piece, balanced and clean. I did question the weeping wind. Weeping? To me, that's a weakness because even if I try I can't get the concept of wind weeping. 

Of course, when you consider poems of this ilk, you are going to be judged against Haiku, and whilst this isn't of that genre, Haiku when done well is very good. As a single moment, weeping aside, it works well.

That said, I really didn't like the "n'". Any reason for that rather than a simple "and"?


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## Martin (May 20, 2010)

Well, it was a Haiku attempt, or a re-write of an earlier attempt of mine. The "n" was for phonetic reasons. I see now that first line, with the "n" and "whistled", is far too happy for the rest. Thanks for the comments guys...


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## JosephB (May 20, 2010)

It's nice. The weeping wind doesn't really work for me, though. It just seems off. And I also don't like the contraction of "and" much either. But really, there's not much to like or dislike. Maybe you could expand on it.


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## Baron (May 20, 2010)

"Weeping wind" puts an image of drizzle in my mind and on that level it works.  Like Pete, I tend to see this as a short poem rather than a haiku.  The effect created by the images is a good one.


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## Martin (May 20, 2010)

Thanks to yous. I will keep this and might expand upon or implement it somewhere some day.


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## Firebird (May 20, 2010)

Hi Martin, I like the feel of this poem. I like the 'weeping wind', too. But, unlike Baron, I see it as a wind with an ocassional large drop of rain in it. 

Interesting image, and lots of ways it could be taken, which , in my opinion, is the sign of a successful image.

Thanks for a good read.

Love,

Firebird


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## Martin (May 20, 2010)

I'm glad it worked for you, Firebird, I suspected my imagery was way off here...

I just tinkered a little with it, given the kindness it has received. Thanks all.


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## Gumby (May 22, 2010)

I really like your edit Martin. This works for me.


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