# How do you overcome "Post-Submission Anxiety"?



## SomethingWitty (May 24, 2016)

I did it. I clicked that awful button. The one labeled "submit". The one that might lead to my work being published in a magazine. The one that means my story, _that little chunk of myself_, is in someone else's hands. And they are going to judge it.

So, I'm pacing, chain-smoking, and eating a regrettable quantity of cheese. My wife is threatening to spray me with the garden hose if I don't chill out. I'm wondering what I was thinking, clicking that button...

Im afraid.

1) Have you experienced something like this?
2) How do you cope?
3) Does this get easier with time?
4) After you're published for the first time, do you feel anxious with later submissions?
5) Might you have some cheese I could borrow? We seem to have run out...


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## Terry D (May 24, 2016)

1) Yes.
2) Start writing the next story.
3) As easy as the 2nd, 3rd, 4th batch of kidney stones
4) See #3
5) None to spare... none to spare...


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## Aquilo (May 24, 2016)

1) Have you experienced something like this?

Yeah (and just how many times have you checked your emails today?). 

2) How do you cope?

I'd need rope, some sticky tape, and a gag to even begin to explain. It's complicated.

3) Does this get easier with time?

It depends. I can sub to my publisher/editor with just a basic note: you like the sound of this, and they say yay/nay. But it's different with a new publisher and all the formalities come in, so both yes and no to this one.  Although the rejections don't sting after a while. It's just business. 

4) After you're published for the first time, do you feel anxious with later submissions?

Not so much anxious, just... the "No, not again," feeling sometimes. 

5) Might you have some cheese I could borrow? We seem to have run out...

LMAO. Not on your life, mate. I have stashes of Cathedral City that nobody touches bar me. I can borrow you some cash to go get some, though.  £100 do?


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## Jigawatt (May 24, 2016)

The rejections were my cure. After about five years of rejections, I stopped submitting and diverted my energy toward the "paying" job. I'm a quitter and a loser, but I drive a nice truck, and I have a fleet of fishing kayaks. Now I write for my own pleasure, and for the family members and friends who seem to enjoy reading my ramblings. I'm working on a couple of novels. I'll probably self-publish at some point.


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## afk4life (May 24, 2016)

I eat a regrettable amount of cheese normally. Don't think about it as "I might get rejected" but "I might get accepted." The important question isn't that. It's did you enjoy writing the story? Do people you've asked to read it get into it? Is it something you can re-read yourself over and over and still enjoy? Writing isn't about being published, that's just a symptom that sometimes occurs if you really are good at storytelling and writing and love doing it and the right people notice it. It's a craft, an art, a way to take people out of their dusty lives to someplace different, and if you're good at it, you've succeeded. Good luck with the submissions, but if those criteria are met, you've already won most of it.


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## TJ1985 (May 24, 2016)

For me, the waiting isn't the worst part. I find myself struggling far more with coping with what comes with the reply. How I "handle" rejection will probably shorten my life at some point. Keep in mind, I'm working on a 100% rejection rate right now with creative works so I may be very qualified to speak on this because I've felt the sting of rejection and nothing else thus far. 

Firstly, you need to be prepared for a "no, go home noob". That's key. I've learned to expect it because I've never heard anything else. Rejection happens and being prepared for it is important. As of late, I've maintained that glimmer of hope that I'm good enough but thankfully that glimmer has begun to weaken, lol. 

Second, It's out of your control. It's not in your hands, and once that button is pushed, it's like firing a gun: the round is downrange and you can't do anything about it. The best way I've found to cope is to put my absolute all into things before I push submit. Admittedly, that seems to intensely amplify the effects of being told you suck because it _does _hit a lot closer to home when you're so invested in it. Yes, I'm more invested in it, but at least I can think I made them look for reasons to shoot me down. I did not make it easy on them. 

Once you click submit, you can't improve how your work will be received, nor can you change the person who will review it for inclusion. What you have to do is step back a half step. Ask yourself a question and answer it truthfully: How will a negative outcome impact my life? Don't worry about a positive outcome, that's hallowed ground that will make at least a tiny difference. In my experience, a negative outcome changes nothing. I've been kicked down the road twice in the past few days and while my life has not improved in terms of what I want to be my life's work, my life has not been impacted in the long-term. Yeah, I had a high blood pressure, poppin' off at the mouth, angry at everything and every one, wanting to give my esteemed reviewer a piece of my mind, and aching to give him fifteen minutes of my sweat in a parking lot. Wrecked my mood, wrecked my day, got the news early in the day and didn't have a good day because it'd changed my perspective on everything. I felt intensely insulted, felt like I'd wasted my time and my opportunities. 

... So? In the small picture it was a major derailment but in the big picture? It didn't scratch me once I settled down, calmed down, and stopped thinking so fast. Nobody beat me up, nobody charged me for the time they spent to stamp a big red "No, Go home noob" on my work, no doors closed, nothing changed besides my mood, and even it didn't stay in Mad Mode too long. 

The small picture tells you about the next ten minutes. Think big picture. What's the absolute worst possible outcome you could face due to rejection on this? In the timeline of your lifetime's high and lows, this is a tiny blip downward if you're rejected. If accepted they might send you money but if you're not accepted, do you have to send them money just for reading it and saying no? If that's the case, I'll read and reject your stuff for 1/2 of whatever they charge! 

It's a nervous time but really when you step back there's no reason to get worked up. 

Terry gave you great answers and I'm going to borrow his formatting because it's excellent. 

1. Every day since I decided to share my work with others I still have a fifteen to twenty second moment where I wonder if maybe I figured out that unidentified "it" that good (and not my) works possess.  
2. I look at the tremendous stack of emails saying "Hahaha, us? You want US to put THAT on OUR site? Bwa, bwa, bwaaaahahahahahhaa." When you realize how many times you've been slapped and lived through it and you realize that one more rejection is just one more person's flawed and likely drug-addled opinion. Not the end of the world. 
3. Waiting is hard, getting rejected is hard. If it were easy to get published there would be no interest in being published. It's an accomplishment like climbing Mt. Everest in your underwear. It's only coveted because it is difficult, not because it's easy to wait for the response. 
4. Dunno, I can't get people who have the power to stop telling me I suck long enough to find out. 
5. Cheese? I'm still in the chain-smoking stage. I definitely don't need to add constipation to my list of issues. I can handle being told I don't have a clue what I'm doing but I'm not sure I can handle being frequently told I don't have a clue, and then not being able to even poo on my own.

It's not your decision, it's theirs. Don't burn a hole in your belly worrying about a decision that is out of your control sphere. They like your work, life may get marginally better. They don't like your work, your life stays the same. I'm learning to live with that and I hope you will too. 

Worry less, create more. Be it text, pictures, paintings, or any creative activity, worry less, create more. There are other groups you can submit to and only until you've exhausted every last one should you take it personally. Okay, one buncha goofball magazine editors were to snobby to see good work when it came from someone who wasn't them, and they refuse to share the spotlight with anyone who isn't them. Congratulations, you found another splinter cell of magnificent morons. Next? 

My theory, my hope, is that when I'm finally accepted it will be ten times sweeter because I have a huge stack of "no" from the splinter cells I've already found. A whole big list of people who missed an opportunity. IF they accept you, IF they reject you, if is a funny word. IF you were a fifty-foot umbrella you could go to a beach on hot days and sell shade. IF you were born with eight arms you'd be able to exchange wardrobes with an octopus. IF is unreliable and cannot be relied upon. Worry less, create more.


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## Patrick (May 24, 2016)

SomethingWitty said:


> 1) Have you experienced something like this?



No.




> 2) How do you cope?



I register my submission as rejected immediately. When I submit to an agent, I am looking for an ally. My work is not being sent off to be judged on its merits. I am looking for somebody who wants to represent my story and work with me, the author.



> 3) Does this get easier with time?



Yes. Rejection is good for you. Not because it will give you any insight into how good or bad your writing is, but because it will teach you to be patient, and patience will make you a better writer.



> 4) After you're published for the first time, do you feel anxious with later submissions?



I don't know. I don't submit very often, and when I have submitted work, it has been rejected. I really don't care what agents or publishers think of my work, so when I get rejected I don't take it personally or worry about it. At some point, an agent will be lucky enough to represent me . This kind of anxiety is a choice. Focus on the craft instead. Rejection rates are extremely high no matter who you are.



> 5) Might you have some cheese I could borrow? We seem to have run out...



My dad likes cheese. He usually has some stowed away in the fridge. I could try to steal you a wedge, but I'd have to be very crafty about it, and if I am caught, I'll be the victim of a thousand filthy looks.


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## dale (May 24, 2016)

SomethingWitty said:


> I did it. I clicked that awful button. The one labeled "submit". The one that might lead to my work being published in a magazine. The one that means my story, _that little chunk of myself_, is in someone else's hands. And they are going to judge it.
> 
> So, I'm pacing, chain-smoking, and eating a regrettable quantity of cheese. My wife is threatening to spray me with the garden hose if I don't chill out. I'm wondering what I was thinking, clicking that button...
> 
> ...



after a few rejections, the anxiety disappears.


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## Kyle R (May 25, 2016)

dale said:


> after a few rejections, the anxiety disappears.



True. Soon enough, it's replaced by frustration, despair, and an unquenchable, turn-you-huge-and-green rage. :grief:

To the OP: Well done! Now you're in the game. Anxiety's normal—it means you care and you want it. It's certainly a better sign than apathy, that's for sure! So keep your fingers crossed, and keep writing in the meantime. Best of luck! :encouragement:


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## Non Serviam (May 25, 2016)

SomethingWitty said:


> I did it. I clicked that awful button. The one labeled "submit".



Congratulations!  You are about to receive your first rejection slip.  It's like your first day at school.  You'll remember your first one til you die, and you'll forget your hundredth almost as soon as you get it.

You have a certain number of rejection slips to endure before you get published.  You don't know how many that is.  But every time you submit, that number gets one smaller.


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## SomethingWitty (May 25, 2016)

So many wonderful perspectives in these responses! Every one of them seems valid and sincere. 

Day two feels more calm. I'm betting that reading this very thread has something to do with that. Thank you all for that!

I am alarmed, however, by the dearth of cheese on this forum. I no longer require a fix, but now I'm concerned for the well-being of you fine folks!


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## Phil Istine (May 25, 2016)

It gets better when you switch to Edam.


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## Miseo (May 26, 2016)

So if I'm getting this right... And do tell me if I'm mistaken...

It's really hard to get published?

That doesn't make me very happy...


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## TJ1985 (May 26, 2016)

Miseo said:


> So if I'm getting this right... And do tell me if I'm mistaken...
> 
> It's really hard to get published?
> 
> That doesn't make me very happy...



In one way it comforts me. The moment I figure out exactly what the "market" wants, I'll have completed the puzzle, captured the cheese (there it is again!), and the game will be too simple until it changes. 

At least as a complete and utter disaster in getting people to like my work, I have a goal to strive for. Once I fill that checkbox I might have to start an uncomfortably expansive bellybutton lint collection, or something creepy...


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## TheWritingWriter (May 26, 2016)

After so many submissions, the outcome never changed, but I eventually became desensitized to it. Just accept that you're gonna win some, and you're gonna lose some. What you need to always know, though, is to just keep writing. If you're rejected because you're not good enough, you're not gonna get better by quitting. And maybe you'll pump out something better for the next project, ANYWAY. So yeah, it gets better. It takes time, practice, and some healing, but you'll be okay. Just keep writing.


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## bdcharles (May 26, 2016)

I am not sure what this means for my writing, but I really don't get (as in "experience", not as in "understand") submission anxiety. Whether it's a function of not being in my twenties or thirties any more, or whether it's because I expect a certain level of rejection, or perhaps because I have sufficient hubris to think "it'll happen one day", I don't know. Possibly a combination of all three, dashed liberally with a sprinkling of "doesn't know any better". Either way, awaiting responses from agents (and I need to do a fresh round of submissions; I am being a bit lazy about that of late) is no more gruelling, to me, than the wait for the results of the monthly competitions here. It if happens, great. If it doesn't, I will self-publish in the most creative way I can manage. How does me talking about myself help you? Hmm. I suppose look to self-publishing not as a second-best avenue but as something new, like Youtube stars, than is ready to be blown wide open. And also believe in your story. Learn, adapt, but always believe it is the best thing. Seems to take the sting out of things a little. But it depends on your goal. By and large I am writing for me rather than for any commercial market, though commercial recognition would of course be nice, and dreams of HBO calling to make a show about my writing never quite leave my mind. Good luck!


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## Patrick (May 26, 2016)

Miseo said:


> So if I'm getting this right... And do tell me if I'm mistaken...
> 
> It's really hard to get published?
> 
> That doesn't make me very happy...



It isn't about hard vs easy; it's the lottery of the thing. Trust me, it's much better to concentrate on the craft and how much you want to write the characters and stories in your head than to worry about how many times you're going to get rejected. It's hard work just to get an agent to look at the full manuscript, and what you have to realise is that these people are commercially minded. People think it's about being a great writer, but it isn't. There are lots of talentless writers who are published, and quite a few of them make a lot of money, too. Then there are the bad writers who get published because of who they know. Welcome to the world of commerce. 

So when you get that rejection slip, just shrug, because this industry is not fair and agents don't care how talented and hard working you are; if they don't immediately fall in love with your work, all they care about is whether or not your manuscript will be a lot of work for them to sell to an editor and whether or not it's worth it. That's assuming you have enough ability to stand out in their slush pile.


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## afk4life (May 26, 2016)

What Patrick said. The odds of becoming financially independent off of writing are a million to one. That shouldn't depress you because maybe you do get published, if not, just start a Blogspot and let people know about it. I've read your work and talked to you so I think you care more about telling stories and having people read them. It is getting more decentralized, and fewer people are going to be picking up dead trees to read off of as time goes forward. I was looking at some of the submission sites and they wanted to charge a reading fee when it was just online publishing and they should have hired me for my regular-job skills because their website looked horrible. And if you do start a Blogspot let all of us know, cos based on what I have read so far I would definitely be checking in on it all the time to see what you came up with, and if you wanted to do a collab on there I'd be into that also. You have to look at it as, they reject you, it's their loss. Word is the Harry Potter manuscript was rejected at first so she went somewhere else, I bet that first publisher really hates themselves right now.


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## dale (May 26, 2016)

Miseo said:


> So if I'm getting this right... And do tell me if I'm mistaken...
> 
> It's really hard to get published?
> 
> That doesn't make me very happy...



it's not hard to get published, but it is hard to get published by a "pro-pay" publication.


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## Non Serviam (May 26, 2016)

Miseo said:


> It's really hard to get published?



Everything about writing is really hard.  It's really hard to write a book; I would guess that of every thousand people who start writing a book, nine hundred and fifty don't finish it.  Of the fifty books that get written, about five could be edited into something publishable.  And of those five, two writers will give up and get discouraged, two will give up and self-publish, and one (1) will publish properly with a real publisher who uses an offset printer and ISBN numbers.  

Like most really worthwhile achievements, the feeling you get when you _do_ hold a hardback copy of your book with your name embossed on it published by a proper publisher is better than orgasm.


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## Bloggsworth (May 26, 2016)

Forget about it and move on, mind you, it's easy for me to say, I'm old and my wits are gradually deserting me...


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