# anger



## amelhope (Aug 4, 2014)

What are you like when you are angry ?

Like a monster


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## Bishop (Aug 4, 2014)

Quiet. And then if people keep 'poking' me, very loud and curse-y. And if people STILL keep 'poking' me, and if 'people' is not female or related to me or friends with me, I will hit them. This has only happened a very few times.


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## amelhope (Aug 4, 2014)

What makes you angry?


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## Bishop (Aug 4, 2014)

amelhope said:


> What makes you angry?



Intolerance, usually. Someone not liking someone just because of who that someone is. Intentional ignorance is another. But mostly, I'm of the protective loyalty ilk. You F with someone I care about, I will F with you. My wife has to reel me in a LOT because I violate common standards of politeness in order to defend her or my friends quite often.

It's gotten to the point where she prefaces stories about people being jerks to her with things like, "Now, you have to promise you won't say anything to so and so, but she was a total b*tch to me today..." And I have to promise not to go on the attack next time I see that person


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## Bruno Spatola (Aug 4, 2014)

When I'm angry, I let my silence speak for itself. I won't be rude or ignore people, I'll simply smile and nod, but won't lower myself to their level by speaking. Honestly, they're not worth the breath  That's when someone is rude to me or says something idiotic to me.

If it's someone else, I'll stick up for them immediately, and won't shy away from a heated debate.

What makes me angry? Ignorance, intolerance, lack of simple good manners, arrogance, megalomania, violence (in reality), condescension.


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## amelhope (Aug 4, 2014)

You know sometimes i keep silent too and stay alone it makes me feel better always well u have just to keep smiling


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## Schrody (Aug 4, 2014)

If I say I'm not angry, don't push it.


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## belthagor (Aug 4, 2014)

A man is a volcano of emotion.

[video=youtube;FpR6Decvxh0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&amp;v=FpR6Decvxh0[/video]


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## dale (Aug 4, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Quiet. And then if people keep 'poking' me, very loud and curse-y. And if people STILL keep 'poking' me, and if 'people' is not female or related to me or friends with me, I will hit them. This has only happened a very few times.



i'm like this, also. i let things go and generally remain silent in the beginning under the influence of anger. but the bottled up effect of silence
can and has exploded. honestly? i wish i was the type who would just get mouthy and vent in the beginning. because when the kettle boils over,
it drains everything. i'm lucky i'm not dead or in prison for life because of it.


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## Ariel (Aug 4, 2014)

It takes a while but I'm explosive.  Saturday I was angry for no good reason and when that happens I do everything I can to control it.  I realized I was angry for no reason and kept apologizing for it.  I still have no idea why I was angry.


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## dale (Aug 4, 2014)

amsawtell said:


> It takes a while but I'm explosive.  Saturday I was angry for no good reason and when that happens I do everything I can to control it.  I realized I was angry for no reason and kept apologizing for it.  I still have no idea why I was angry.



well, you're female. that's the most logical reason for that.


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## bookmasta (Aug 4, 2014)

Like a supernova about to implode...


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## Ariel (Aug 4, 2014)

dale said:


> well, you're female. that's the most logical reason for that.



I usually know why I'm angry.  Saturday I felt like a kettle that was ready to boil over all day.  Everything was subject to my wrath--the munchkin, the animals, Fella, drivers on the road (I wasn't driving), other shoppers . . . I mean _everything_ was setting me off.


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## dale (Aug 4, 2014)

amsawtell said:


> I usually know why I'm angry.  Saturday I felt like a kettle that was ready to boil over all day.  Everything was subject to my wrath--the munchkin, the animals, Fella, drivers on the road (I wasn't driving), other shoppers . . . I mean _everything_ was setting me off.



 i was kidding with that reply, but seriously? when i have days like that? it's because someone i feel like i CAN'T be angry with has upset me, so i just snap out at everyone and everything around me. usually after a few too many drinks.


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## E. Zamora (Aug 4, 2014)

I rarely get angry. It's a big waste of energy and rarely accomplishes anything. If someone does something that upsets me, I make a decision between two options. If I think it will make a difference, I confront them and state my case and try to work things out. If I think it won't make a difference, I let it go. I don't let things build up or hold a grudge. I don't let things like traffic or long lines etc. get the better of me. Life is too short.


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## Ariel (Aug 4, 2014)

dale said:


> i was kidding with that reply, but seriously? when i have days like that? it's because someone i feel like i CAN'T be angry with has upset me, so i just snap out at everyone and everything around me. usually after a few too many drinks.


I knew you were joking.  I just feel really guilty for it.  I woke up angry on Saturday so I think it was a dream I can't remember now.


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## Pandora (Aug 4, 2014)

I rarely get angry anymore in my personal life, a little ticked and it's over, out of here, no point anymore.  I get angry at our world though, sometimes I cry, sometimes swear if no one is around . .  . ha! Sometimes I write or talk it out with family friends in a rant. There is much to be angry about and disappointed in. I just don't understand why. I thought we would be so much better by this time in my life. I'm out of here soon, and noting seems to be changing,  woman are still being beaten, children abused and ignored, animals mistreated, injustice and shame when there shouldn't be, Uh oh here I go . . . I guess I made the picture.


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## Plasticweld (Aug 4, 2014)

Not counting my wife and two kids, you would be hard pressed to find (anyone) who has ever seen me angry. I doubt I have lost more temper more than two times in the last 25 years, (you would have to ask my wife about those two times)   When I was a young man I worked with a couple of different guys who lost their temper all the time.  I remember how much respect I lost for them while witnessing their weakness;   I vowed to never lose mine.  I have be faithful to the pledge, minus a couple of times when my wife was going through menopause " I am convinced those do not count"    I have lived by the motto that every day you get to chose who you want to be. Not losing my temper or being angry has been at the top of the list.


I gave this some thought after I hit the submit button, 

While my son was growing up, in his teenage years, you know the years that he was much smarter than me.  
when he tested my patience I would calmly ask him if he needed a beating.  Twice in his life the answer was yes.  Both times wisdom was dispensed, without be being angry.  It was after all needed and requested.   I did not want to give anyone the impression I am beyond getting mad.


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## CyberWar (Aug 5, 2014)

Most people around me think I have hardly any emotions at all, while I think of myself as someone very easy to irritate. I guess I'm just very good at hiding any trace of emotion.

Curiously, it's usually the small things that get me. I might shrug off a serious personal insult, pretending I didn't understand it and laugh about it, and yet explode over rather trivial issues, such as someone not very skilled at something telling me what to do, for example, a collegue who can never get things done in time telling me to hurry up.

To my credit, I can say I've never gotten violent unless struck first. In the rare cases I'm so angry I can no longer keep my composure, I much rather break something than hit the offending person, if only because I know myself to be unable to stop once I start and don't want to end up in prison because of it.

When possible, though, I prefer more constructive means of venting, such as doing workout or taking a walk.

Perhaps my most intense pet peeve is animal abuse, that of cats in particular - if I saw anyone tormenting a cat, I wouldn't even bother to exercise any measure of restraint. Ironically, I don't care much about people, and most likely wouldn't help a stranger being attacked, except maybe a child or a woman, and also only because it would be expected from me because of my profession, not because I'd genuinely care. I tend to be very cynical when it comes to people.

 Being told what to do and especially nagged on is another thing that can get me really angry. Taking orders and carrying them out is part of my job, and I don't make a habit of bringing my job home. In my line of work, people also don't make a habit of repeating themselves more than once, so if I haven't done something, it's for a reason, and I don't need to be reminded of it all the time.

I'm also can't stand people who talk too much. I'm not much for small talk and will only open my mouth when I have something meaningful to say, or not waste my breath at all, so folks who keep on yapping for it's own sake can expect to get cut off with a very stern and blunt response.


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## InstituteMan (Aug 5, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> Not counting my wife and two kids, you would be hard pressed to find (anyone) who has ever seen me angry. I doubt I have lost more temper more than two times in the last 25 years, (you would have to ask my wife about those two times)   When I was a young man I worked with a couple of different guys who lost their temper all the time.  I remember how much respect I lost for them while witnessing their weakness;   I vowed to never lose mine.



Yep, pretty much what Plastic said here for me. In my case, my father had furious angry rages when I was a kid, often violent although not usually directed at people. As a terrified kid of around 8 I decided that I was going to have better control of my emotions than that.

To be fair, though, the outbursts I try to avoid are more rage than anger. Rage is inherently irrational fury, but anger at least can be a useful emotion if directed at injustice or evil to make things right, or at least better.

The only time I can remember being overcome with rage in my entire life post-8 was at a meeting with my older daughter's third grade teacher. 

My daughter (now a student particle physics researcher) was a precocious mathematical prodigy. My wife and I, while less mathematically talented than our children, are both pretty darn good at math as well. This particular meeting with the teacher involved our daughter as well. My wife and I wanted to talk to the teacher about how math program's emphasis on memorizing math facts was frustrating her without any benefit for her future in math (as my wife and I could well attest from our own experiences in science). We were particularly bothered because the math facts nonsense was all due to the teacher choosing to ignore the excellent math text the school had purchased; instead of using the book, she was sending home worksheets of her own.

So, I had a plan of action before we sat down for the regularly scheduled meeting with the third grade teacher. I, as the talker and diplomat in the family, was going to explain how our daughter was frustrated by the pointless arithmetic but was latching onto every math book in our house, and had cajoled us into buying some 'calculus for elementary school students' book she had found at the bookstore. I had high (and naive) hopes of improving the math education for the entire classroom.

Before I could start my speech, before my butt had even hit the tiny chair, the teacher launched into my daughter about how she was lazy, and waiting her intellectual gifts, and needed to be completing more math facts worksheets. I, the talker and diplomat in the family, gaped at her like a guppy as my hands clinched beside me. I remember wanting very much to throttle the woman as my daughter sank beside me. My poor wife had to leap into the breach, and she did quite well. 

The teacher left our kid the hell alone from there, and we started homeschooling at the end of the year, which continued until the kids were ready for the eighth grade (to give them a warm up year before high school). That day is remembered in my family as The Day Dad Lost His Temper and Had No Idea What to Do.


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## dither (Aug 5, 2014)

I am bitter, resentful, i harbour grudges, and i never let go.
It has totally screwed me up, but i can't help it, it's what i am.
Not proud of myself but there it is.

When i get angry, i just walk away, and think terrible thoughts.


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## Plasticweld (Aug 5, 2014)

I am sure there is some mental make up that makes us able to forgive and not get all bent out of shape, so that we do not harbor anger or hate.   I have a close friend who was also molested as a kid, it has destroyed his life, and today " He is a alcoholic" he tells me there is not a day that goes by that he is not enraged by what happened to him.  He has told me that he has often hated me for not be affected by my past the way he was.  I am a Christian so being able to forgive is part of my faith.  other than that I have  no magic answer for him.  I have no idea why I am able to let go of that and he is not other than my faith.  I am sure there is probably more to this but have only my own experience to go on.


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## escorial (Aug 5, 2014)

when i'm angry i'm a fool


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## kaufenpreis (Aug 5, 2014)

How angry? 

 A little angry: I keep quiet about it. 

 Moderately angry: I won't shut up about it. 

 Very angry: I talk faster and loudly. Sometimes I yell (but not often), but I'm usually cursing profusely at this point. I may rant for hours on end. 

 Very, very angry: I go back to being quiet, because I'm trying to hold back homicidal impulses. I don't act violently toward people or animals, but I have been known to attack inanimate objects.


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## coldnight (Aug 5, 2014)

You don't really want to know  because when i'm angry i'm out of control


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## Apple Ice (Aug 5, 2014)

I find a lot of people I've met in real life are very proud of their anger for some reason. They say stuff like "Oh, you seriously would NOT like to see me angry." That sentence lets me know I'm dealing with an arsehole, though. Those people are very insecure I've found. The only person who is impressed by their anger is themselves. People who know how to control their anger are a lot nicer and bearable. I used to live with someone who was very prone to explosive violent rage over literally anything. It made it so easy to hate them and it makes me think of them as a bully. On the plus side, I know never to be like that to anyone I love and I would never let anyone try and act like that with me again. 

On a personal note, I don't get angry really. I can get very irritated sometimes but that's about it, although I've been told I get far too personal far too quick when I'm annoyed which is something I've worked on as I know that's just being shitty. The one time I can remember seeing red and losing it was when I was 13 and a neighbor lost his anger with me for playing football loudly outside my house and came out and dragged and threw me. After calling him every name I could think of he said something about my ill dad which initially shocked me but then just made me throw everything I had at him. After attacking him he went back in to his house (not hurt, I was tiny at the time and missed the hardest punch I threw) but my rather unpleasant elder brother happened to be walking up the road at that time and I ran and told him. That escalated things by about hundred percent and I learned my lesson about rash decisions. I don't regret attacking him, though, I just regret I wasn't older so I could have done a better job of it.
 Whenever I get in to rage mode I just think about the consequences of the bad things I'm urging to do and that calms me down.

Anger, aye, a pretty useless thing


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## Kevin (Aug 5, 2014)

I get animated. I sputter when I talk and I talk loudly. I hate it when I don't get what I want and I let everyone around know it. It may be good enough for them but it's not for me. I'm not the same as everyone and I deserve better, I deserve a break, I deserve special consideration. I don't know what everyone's problem is, but I don't have one. Just give me what I want and things'll be fine, otherwise you get what you get. I can keep it up for days and I don't forget.


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## belthagor (Aug 5, 2014)

hey guys, wasn't there some green guy who got big when he got angry, and then normal sized later...he was incredible

(I have been tempted to post this for quite some time)


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## InstituteMan (Aug 5, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> I am sure there is some mental make up that makes us able to forgive and not get all bent out of shape, so that we do not harbor anger or hate.   I have a close friend who was also molested as a kid, it has destroyed his life, and today " He is a alcoholic" he tells me there is not a day that goes by that he is not enraged by what happened to him.  He has told me that he has often hated me for not be affected by my past the way he was.  I am a Christian so being able to forgive is part of my faith.  other than that I have  no magic answer for him.  I have no idea why I am able to let go of that and he is not other than my faith.  I am sure there is probably more to this but have only my own experience to go on.



Most self described Christians who say they are forgiving strike me as full of crap, as their actions belly their words. However, after getting to know you on the boards here a bit I believe that you do have a gift for both forgiveness and contentment, with a dash of wisdom thrown in. Me, I wouldn't attribute that to faith, as I have known atheists who conduct themselves in a similar way, and I am an atheist who strives to live in that fashion. I shan't quibble with you over the source of your gifts, however.


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