# Trying to make the next big animated comedy



## EAProdigy (Aug 19, 2008)

I am making this comedy called Jamal Jackson. Its inspired from my life growing up in detroit michigan. 

Basically the show is about the star Jamal Jackson and the adventures he goes on.

Anyways my question is who do I send it to for review? Also how many pages do I generally need? I dont have to create the whole first season yet do I? Also how do I go about creating the first pilot? I think I have some good material here just need some help.


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## Linton Robinson (Aug 19, 2008)

Okay, we're a little confused on what you are doing.

"Making" generally means producing, like you are going to have a film as a product.

Then it sounds like you're doing a teleplay.  

Tell you what,   post this again in the scripts section (unless you are actually talking about producing a film or video, in which case you are in the wrong forum)   then peek at the forums over on tvwriter.com

There are no "reviewers of scripts", unless you mean on sites.   Again, post a few pages in the scripts section or wherever.    

Here's what you need to decide first off

How long?   Probably a half hour?   So about 25 pages.  But that's talking about IN TELEPLAY format, and with the proper act scructure.   TV breaks up for commercials, so there are little "endings and beginnings" within  them.   This actually makes them easier to write, in my book, but others disagree.

Then I'd suggest you do a pilot show.   Pilot's are tough because you sort of have to introduce everybody, set the style and theme of the show, PLUS have a plot and maybe even a subplot.

Your goal here might be the People's Pilot contest on tvwriter.com   Where you will also get some tips on how to do the proposal thing that accompanies a pilot:  characters, stetting, etc.

If you can get to that point, I'd suggest you sign up on screenwriting forums like triggerstreet.com and zoetrope.com  where you can put your script up for formal critique.  But do the whole tvwriter.com thing first.   And check out the screenwriting section on absolutewrite.com, as well.

And no, DON'T create a whole season.  Unless you want to for kicks, and practice is good.  But you show only a proposal and pilot to producers, contests, etc.

There are contests for half hour scripts.

TV shows often premiere with 2 hour shows, so some people do two hour pilots for 1 hour dramatic series.   But comedy is generally half hour and that's it.

Good luck


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## Linton Robinson (Aug 19, 2008)

It is VERY hard to find tutorials for teleplays (screenplay formats are all over the place)

Here is a hodgepodge of tips I've picked up that can help you organize your head a little.  Or not 


"On an hour show the 50-55 pages are usually divided into a TEASER and four ACTS. 



The Teaser is usually 3-4 pages long, with one "riveting" sequence, usually taking place with two scenes, to get you hooked on watching the show. 



Act 1 is about 14-15 pages long. 



Act 2 is usually 13-14 pages long. A



Act 3 12-13. 



Act 4 ditto. 



Some syndicated shows, like STAR TREK: VOYAGER, have five acts instead. Many shows have a TAG at the end of the last act. Sometimes it's just the last scene of an act. Other times it gets its own heading and comes after a commercial break. It's usually about a page and a half and is there to leave everyone smiling--or worried about what's happening next, depending on the series.



The average hour show has 25-30 scenes. As you can see, they're short even though you may not notice that when you watch the show because that's one of the great illusions created by film. One minute of screen time will feel like five. That's why we edit edit edit everything, paring it down to the bone. "





2 HOUR



What's the total page count for a MOW script? Where do the act breaks fall?



Answered above: 100-105 pages (coming down because of increasing commercial time). Seven Acts. 



First Hour: Acts 1-3, 

Second: 4-7. 



No act less than ten pages. 



Act Seven traditionally the shortest. First Act traditionally the longest. 



Major event: Act Three (as in "Don't touch that dial at 10:00"). 



Act One: set-up on characters and introduction of crisis (around page 20-25) 



Acts Two, Four, Five and Six: Story, story, story. 



Act Seven: Wrap it up. 



The basic TV Movie premise: They were just like you and me until... (This is changing but the notion of ordinary people in extraordinary circumstances is a time-tested formula for MOWs)





So here is a four act structure ihcluding an opening TEASER and a closing TAG.(keep in mind this is VERY basic and general).



TEASER: set up situation or question in the audience's mind. You want them to think "WHoa, where is this going?" or "What was THAT about?" or "How are they going to deal with that?" Usually this involves what is called the "call to action". Whatever it is that motivates your hero forward. However, it can also just be a tease for the audience that the hero doesn't see.



ACT ONE: Introduce new characters. Set up dynamics. If you didn't see the "call to action" in the Teaser, you would see it here. For detective shows, this was always refered to as the "hiring scene". Plant small questions or foreshadowing to be used later. Show conflict developing or in full bloom. Introduce villian. Elaborate plan of villain so that we understand motivation (just being evil ain't it). Begin to lead audience down familiar path (so they think). End with a "nod of the head". In other words, the audience should metaphorically nod their head in anticipation of what they think is to come.



ACT TWO: Continue arcs and dynamics. Create or build struggle of protagonists. Physical struggles are great at this point (emotional sruggles work best later on). Show the Hero as on the ball. The heavy needs to understand the force that he/she is up against. And he should being to examine the Hero for flaws. At the end of this act, we should get the idea that the heavy has possibly found a weakness or the Hero can reveal a weakness that the heavy will exploit if he finds out. The audience should be left with an "Uh, oh...." feeling for the Hero.



ACT THREE: Basically, the Hero's plans and struggle begins to fall apart. The situation becomes untenable. The Hero's flaws are exploited (this is where the emotional crisis plays best, especially if it goes hand in hand with the physical crisis). There may be betrayals, reversals of fortune, or just that the villain's plan is working. Give the audience they idea that the Hero is right on the edge, but if nothing surprising happens, the Hero can still hold it together. End the act with that surprising something happening. The audience reaction should be along the lines of "Oh feces!" (I'm paraphrasing).



ACT FOUR: This is what we call the "run-jump". It's named from the old movie serials where the hero is faced with bad guys behind him and a crevasse in front of him. The only safety is on the other side. He has to "run. jump" to safety. It used to just mean action, but it has come to mean the emotional stakes as well. This is where the Hero triumphs. He finds some flaw in the villain, or strength in himself, to overcome the obstacle before him. The foreshadowing you saw in the first two acts may come into play here. Bad Example: In Act One, we see the hero is good at basketball when he has a discussion with his client as they play around the world. In Act Four, at the crucial moment, he throws a basketball size rock, hits the branch that falls across the quicksand, enabling him to pull them to safety (ugh, REALLY bad example).



TAG: In a four act series, either the Teaser and Act One are separated by commercials, or the Fourth Act and the Tag are. Usually it's one or the other, not both. In the Tag, we resolve issues. If it's about a mother/son reunion, we see the reunion. Any emotional issues are dealt with. We used to call this "sap up the wrap up". We see the Hero stronger for his efforts.


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## Linton Robinson (Aug 19, 2008)

Here is a script I wrote for Frasier as an exercise.  Hey, my first teleplay and it won a contest, so. what the hell.

It's a pdf, you need the free adobe download to read it
http://mexipost.com/plays/frasier.pdf

It uses both a teaser and a tag, but in a pilot you can use one, both or none.  But you should try to come in at around 25-30 pages and observe the breaks (acts)


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## Linton Robinson (Aug 19, 2008)

Animation is kind of special.   Let me suggest you also tag around a forum called
animation forum

don't be surprised if this tread gets moved to the scripts section.


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## Linton Robinson (Aug 19, 2008)

Also

This might help you since it's easy to find screenplay formats (look at the stick in Scripts, for one thing... the one from Oscars/Nicholl is the hot setup... then see these differences

This might not help you immedately, but is worth saving as a reference.

Screenplay vs. Teleplay -- How Hard Could it Be?



By Emmett Loverde--a playwright and screenwriter from Los Angeles.



Introduction



Everyone's telling you that funny scene you wrote is perfect for "Friends". No one can shut up about your skit for the church's holiday fair -- what a great movie that would make! You had a staged reading of your "Just Shoot Me" spec and everybody cried (oops)... maybe it's too serious for TV. All you need to know now is... How is television script format different from movie script format?



The good news is good drama tends to be pretty mobile -- equally at home on silver or electronic screen. The bad news is that each medium has its own production requirements and, thus, its own specific script format. "Format, shmormat. A script is a script!" Agreed. But would you try to build a supermarket using the blueprints for a hospital?



Film



The theatrical motion picture is a descendent of the circus sideshow, the novelty act. The emphasis has always been on spectacle rather than drama. The scripts for the earliest filmed spectacles (if a script was even used at all) consisted mainly of description -- and no dialogue. Audiences soon demanded stories to go along with the spectacle. Stories required scripts-even when the film contained little or no dialogue. The script format for today's (sound) films reflects the emphasis that silent films placed on pictures rather than dialogue. Paragraphs containing scenic and action descriptions have very small margins while dialogue has ridiculously wide margins. The message is clear: in a film, pictures are more important than words.



Television



Modern television is a cousin of film, but TV descended from radio. Nearly every type of program on TV today -- news, sports, sitcoms, dramas, talk shows, etc. -- originated on radio, not the big screen. And radio is all about sound. TV script format reflects its talky radio origins: dialogue is double-spaced for legibility; stage directions are formatted in all capital letters to make them easily distinguishable from dialogue; the pages contain lots of white space for jotting notes.



Types of Film Scripts



There is really only one type of theatrical screenplay format. The variations within the format are minor: margins, use of "MORE" and "CONTINUED" (or not), etc. As a script nears the filming stage, it may include specific camera angles, scene numbering, omitted dialogue notations, etc., but it's still quite recognizable as a theatrical screenplay. ScreenStyle can help format a screenplay according to accepted industry standards. ScreenStyle runs under Microsoft Word on Windows and Macintosh. Go to Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter. ScreenStyle is The Screenwriting Store for more information.



Types of Television Scripts



Television scripts ("teleplays") come in many formats. The format that a particular program uses depends primarily on how that program is produced.



Filmed One-Hour Dramas



A "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" teleplay looks very much like a screenplay. Why? Because filmed shows such as "Deep Space Nine" are produced in a fashion very similar to theatrical films: they're shot on location or in a soundstage without an audience; they're shot one scene at a time using one camera (usually); and they often feature many locations. And they may (but don't necessarily have to) emphasize pictures over words.



Taped Situation Comedies



Taped situation comedies ("sitcoms") such as "The Drew Carey Show" use a specific script format. The program is videotaped in front of a live audience which not only (hopefully) gives it a laugh track, it also limits where scenes can take place (street scenes and large crowds tend to be out of the question). The text in the script is spaced out much more so than in a screenplay; a page of a screenplay translates into about a minute of screen time while a page of a sitcom teleplay translates into about thirty seconds of screen time. The scenes are numbered-and the scene numbers are displayed at the top of each page along with the page numbers. The script is divided into acts and scenes-and each begins on a new page. A list of which characters are needed in each scene appears at the beginning of each scene. The dialogue can contain "personal direction" for the actor (such as "she sits" or "glumly") within it rather than outside of it, just like a stage play.



Also available from ScreenStyle.com is SitcomStyle, which can help format an industry-standard situation comedy script. SitcomStyle is fully compatible with ScreenStyle and runs under Microsoft Word on Windows and Macintosh. Go to Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter. ScreenStyle is The Screenwriting Store for more information.



Talk/Variety Shows, News Programs, Etc.



Scripts for news or talk shows (yes, talk shows use scripts) look much different than either of the above examples. Such scripts tend to serve as a general outline of the program: the evening's lead stories, notes for the host(ess) about the guests and questions that could be asked, an opening monologue, when and what the musical guest will play, etc. The script may contain two separate columns for "Audio" and "Video" for listing which events/effects occur in what sequence. What little scripted (pre-written) dialogue there is gets squeezed into the "Audio" column (these shows aren't about scripted conversation, after all).



Screenplay vs. Teleplay: A Comparison



Since most writers reading this article will probably be creating either screenplays or sitcom scripts, this article will focus on those two formats.



PAGE ELEMENTS



The Cover



A sitcom teleplay's cover should contain the name of the show, the title of the episode, and the name of the writer. A screenplay's cover should contain the name of the script only.



The Title Page



A sitcom teleplay's title page should contain the name of the show, the title of the episode, the name of the writer, the writer's "contact info" and/or the name of the production company, and the draft number. A screenplay's title page should contain all of the above except, of course, the episode title.



Every Page



The first (and every subsequent) page of a screenplay should contain page numbers in the upper right-hand corner. The first and every subsequent page of a sitcom teleplay should have page numbers as well, but the page numbers should also include scene letters (i.e., "A", "B", "C", etc.)



The First Page Following the Cover and Title Page



The first (and only the first) page of a screenplay should contain the title of the screenplay. The first page of a sitcom teleplay should contain the name of the show, the title of the script, the act number (or the word "Teaser"), and the scene letter.



The First Page of a New Act/Scene



The first page of each act of a sitcom teleplay should contain the name of the show, the title of the script, the act number, and the scene letter. Every scene in a sitcom teleplay should begin on a new page, and the scene letter should be displayed at the head of the scene. On such pages, the scene letter should not be repeated at the top of the page underneath the scene number. Every scene in a sitcom teleplay should feature a list of all the characters who appear in that scene. Unlike in a sitcom teleplay, the "acts" in a screenplay are not specifically defined. Since new scenes in a screenplay do not have to begin on new pages, there are no special requirements for a page on which a new scene begins.



Scene/Script Endings



Screenplays and sitcom teleplays differ little in this regard. In both cases, scene transitions can be indicated using "CUT TO:", "FADE TO:", etc. The end of each act of a sitcom teleplay can, if desired, be labeled "END OF ACT ONE", etc. Scripts of both formats usually end with the words "FADE OUT" and "THE END".



Text Elements



Text formatting for screenplays and sitcom teleplays is pretty similar. There are several important differences, however. Note: For the following section, the names of the appropriate ScreenStyle/Sitcom styles will be in [brackets] for the users of that script-formatting software. For more information, go to Final Draft and Movie Magic Screenwriter. ScreenStyle is The Screenwriting Store.



"Fade In:" ["Fade In"]



When used, "Fade In:" is formatted using all caps in a screenplay and with all caps and underlined in a sitcom teleplay.



Scene Numbering (Lettering) ["Heading 1"]



As noted above, scenes in a sitcom teleplay are numbered using capital letters. The letters have ample space above and below them and are underlined. When scenes are numbered in a screenplay, the numbers appear in both the left and the right margins adjacent to the slugline.



Slugline ["Heading 2"]



"Sluglines" are also called "scene headings", "headings", and "scene captions". Sluglines indicate where a scene takes place, at what time of day, and whether it needs to be shot indoors or out. In screenplays, sluglines are in all caps; in sitcom teleplays they are capitalized and underlined.



Character List ["Subtitle"]



In a sitcom teleplay, a list of characters that are needed in a scene should appear directly below that scene's slugline. It is in upper- and lower-case text and enclosed in parentheses. Screenplays should never contain lists of characters.



Scene/Action Descriptions ["Actions"]



Scenic and action descriptions in a screenplay are formatted as upper- and lower-case text. In a sitcom teleplay, they are formatted in all caps.



Character Intros/Sound Effects/Special Effects/Camera Instructions



In a screenplay, all of these are written in all caps. In a sitcom teleplay, they are capitalized and underlined.



Character Names/Dialogue ["Character"/"Dialogue"]



For dialogue in both sitcom teleplays and screenplays, character names are typed in all caps and the dialogue itself appears in upper- and lower-case text. However, in sitcom teleplays the dialogue is double-spaced.



Personal ("Adverbial") Direction ["Line Actions"]



Often, instructions specifically for the actor appear within a character's dialogue. In a screenplay, this "personal direction" is inserted inside parentheses on a separate line or lines in upper- and lower-case text between the lines of dialogue. In a sitcom teleplay, personal direction appears within the dialogue-on the same line-in all caps and enclosed within parentheses.



Other Items



For most other items, screenplays and sitcom teleplays are formatted identically.



Are They Interchangeable?



Screenplays and sitcom teleplays are not interchangeable, as the preceding doubtless illustrates. However, it is possible to reformat a screenplay into a sitcom teleplay or vice versa with a minimum of retyping and reformatting. The main thing is to understand where the formats differ and where they do not. ScreenStyle and SitcomStyle, ScreenStyle.com’s two flagship products, not only allow writers to easily format their scripts, but when used together they allow, say, text from a screenplay to be copied and pasted into a sitcom teleplay and automatically take on proper sitcom teleplay format! (Of course, it works the other direction as well.)


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## EAProdigy (Aug 20, 2008)

Hmm went on tv writer.com and they said the contest is closed till november 1st. So any ideas as to what to do next? Also I am going to post what I have so far on triggerstreet and any other information you can tell me as to how to use the right script format for something similiar to family guy or simpsons would be great. Also all I do is write I have no idea where to go as far as getting the visual part done. Any ideas? Well thank you so much for the help and I will do all I can to make it a success.


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## Linton Robinson (Aug 20, 2008)

> Hmm went on tv writer.com and they said the contest is closed till november 1st.


Write your script


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## RogueGunslinger (Aug 20, 2008)

Wow Lin. You're freaking awesome. Basically everything I've always wondered about writing scripts, you just answered. Thank you, thank you, thank you.


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