# Financial advice, I need £60k



## Potty (Jul 6, 2012)

Right so me and the other half have outstayed our welcome living with her mum and dad. With the housing market being what it is these days we can't afford to buy. We really don't want to waste our money renting so we have decided to live on a canal boat. We are both excited about the idea and have worked out the financial aspects and it is very affordable.

We've seen a boat we like for £34,950 but we want to consildate a few of our other loans (car payment etc) into the boats finances. We would need between 50-60k for us to move on the boat with only one payment. We have enquired about a canal boat mortgage but we would need a 25% deposit... While it would only take us a year to save this... the boat we like may go, and we don't really want to stay here for another year. 

Can anyone recomend other ways to find the funding? We were going to ask the bank, but I doubt they would ever loan £60k


----------



## Baron (Jul 6, 2012)

> Can anyone recomend other ways to find the funding? We were going to ask the bank, but I doubt they would ever loan £60k



They might if you take a shotgun with you.


----------



## Potty (Jul 6, 2012)

Baron said:


> They might if you take a shotgun with you.



Still waiting on my licence.


----------



## patskywriter (Jul 6, 2012)

Why do people always say that renting is a waste of money? You're paying for a place to live, so what's wrong with that? Smart renters often save up, learn about first-time owner programs, and make the transition into being happy homeowners.

You might want to consider taking on a part-time job, but I still think it's smarter to rent for a while and creating a timetable for becoming homeowners.


----------



## Potty (Jul 6, 2012)

I have three jobs. Renting where I live costs £800 a month in most cases then you have utilities etc on top. We've tried it before and we had no money left to save, and after a year of doing it we had nothing to show for it. For an extra £200 a month I could pay a mortgage. I just need to save a deposit is all, but now we want to live of a canal boat, more romantic. So yea, after trying it I've decided renting was a waste of my money.


----------



## patskywriter (Jul 6, 2012)

Gotcha. That's tough.

In my case, I never had a job that paid much. When I decided to become a homeowner, I did three things:

1.  got a part-time job and paid down my debt
2.  went through a prequalification process to determine how much mortgage I could afford
3.  researched various neighborhoods once I realized I couldn't afford to buy where I grew up or where I was then living. In fact, I returned to the neighborhood where I was born.

Obviously, we all have to figure out what's best for ourselves. I hope you can come up with a workable plan.


----------



## bo_7md (Jul 6, 2012)

Nothing beats the security and safety of a good flat or house. If rent is high were you are now you might consider living a bit off and commuting to work. I do that and it works for me. Also, 800 is very expensive you must be in one of the big cities. 

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/

This i'll tell you how long it takes from the "potential place" to where you work.

http://maps.google.com/

I used those websites to find a place to live, when I studied in the U.K.

Anyway, I'm sure you did your research and are aware of all the options. I found a link that might help you:

How to live on a canal boat

all the best.


----------



## shadowwalker (Jul 6, 2012)

Not sure how it works over there, but in the States one could get a "gift" from family for the downpayment (actually could be a gift or a loan, but stated as a gift so didn't add to the debt list). Also, actually getting a loan for the down payment, separate from the mortgage itself (a 'second'). 

You could also forget about merging your other debts for the time being, just to get the boat, then after a few months of building your credit (ie, paying on everything on time) consolidate.


----------



## Bilston Blue (Jul 6, 2012)

Save up £1818. Take said funds to your local casino. Approach roulette wheel and confidently place your funds on zero (that's the green one). Odds are 33-1. Pays at £59,994. 

Good luck.

I tried it once and failed.

Though seriously, the housing market for first time buyers in this country is a joke. In other European countries there is less of a stigma attached to renting, and many families do this throughout their entire lives. It's slowly becoming more and more of a necessity in this country, too.

Good luck, Potty.


----------



## Writ (Jul 6, 2012)

Potty said:


> I have three jobs. *Renting where I live costs £800 a month in most cases* then you have utilities etc on top. We've tried it before and we had no money left to save, and after a year of doing it we had nothing to show for it. For an extra £200 a month I could pay a mortgage. I just need to save a deposit is all, but now we want to live of a canal boat, more romantic. So yea, after trying it I've decided renting was a waste of my money.



How many square feet and how many rooms? I'm assuming you're talking about a one bedroom apartment? 

For a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment in Milwaukee at that price it would be a high end unit or possibly a luxury apartment. You should be able to get about 750 to 1,000 square feet of apartment with that in Milwaukee. Depending on location in Milwaukee of course it might be more or less. 

If your boat plan fails... consider relocation to Panama City, Panama. It's the new retirement destination for people from the United States. Panama uses the American dollar and supposedly as a rule of thumb you can live on 30% less than what you did in the United States.

Or maybe consider relocation to South Dakota. I have a uncle moving with his family there today. They're leaving Minneapolis and he already has a job lined up in Souix Falls, South Dakota. From what he told me they have a 4 bedroom apartment with central air and washer and dryer inside the apartment all for the amazing sum of $750 a month. Apparently, there are a lot of jobs there too, and so few people willing to work the entry level, non-skilled jobs that starting pay for cleaning floors, or even working at McDonalds is around $16 per hour. That's damn good if the cost of living is really that low too. 

A washer and dryer in an apartment usually indicates it's a luxury apartment. At least in most cities of the United States but apparently not within South Dakota. You'd pay over $2,000 a month in Milwaukee for a 4 bedroom apartment like that. 

So, Panama or South Dakota if all else fails, Potty.


----------



## bo_7md (Jul 6, 2012)

Writ said:


> .



The relocation cost from the U.K to the U.S, let alone finding a set of new jobs, will break a man's back in half--trust me.


----------



## Potty (Jul 6, 2012)

Quite a relocation...

Bo: snap


----------



## bo_7md (Jul 6, 2012)

Potty said:


> Quite a relocation...
> 
> Bo: snap



Quite a timing.


----------



## Writ (Jul 6, 2012)

Okay, the U.S. is out of the question then. Bo might be right about the move and cost verse benefits ratio. I don't know. 

I guess it would be difficult to land a good paying job in Panama too unless you're an engineer or medical doctor or a professional like those whose basic skills are transferable around the world.

But after reading this post, and then reading this article, I'm curious to what areas of England or the U.K. in general have good properties for low or reasonably priced rents?

London can't be one. I know London has the most expensive or one of the most expensive real estate markets in the world. I'm reading this article and the average cost of rent in New York City just trips me out. I'd be living in a rat infested building with moldy walls on my $1,021 a month income if I was in NYC. 

Apartment Rents Rise, Vacancies Plunge - Yahoo! News










> On June 1, Dan Nainan's  landlord informed him that at the end of August his rent would be  increasing by more than 28 percent. A five-year resident of his  one-bedroom apartment located in a prime spot in New York City, Nainan's rent is set to rise to $2,700 to $2,100 in less than three months.
> 
> "I was really upset. I was in shock because I have been here for five  years," said Nainan. "I'm a great tenant. I don't have loud parties or  make noise. I'm a model tenant and I'm gone a lot. I don't have any  pets."





> In the U.S., the average price for effective rent rose by 1.3 percent to $1,041. New York City had the highest increase in the second quarter after average rents rose 1.7 percent to $2,935.
> 
> For Nainan, who lives in Chelsea, the hike is 15 times the average increase, and he has already begun looking for a new place.





> A feeling many renters across the country may be experiencing.  After New York, apartment renters in Fort Lauderdale, Seattle, San Francisco and Nashville saw the highest effective rent growth.
> 
> New York's second quarter vacancy rate of 2.2 percent makes it one of  the tightest markets for finding a rental apartment. A few other areas  experiencing low vacancies include Portland, Ore., Minneapolis, New  Haven, Conn., and San Jose, which round out the top five.



So, where are the cities in England and the U.K. with inexpensive rents and decent job growth and decent job pay? If they have any that is.


----------



## Potty (Jul 6, 2012)

The futhur north you go the cheaper it gets...


----------



## Baron (Jul 6, 2012)

Potty said:


> The futhur north you go the cheaper it gets...



But the neighbours can be a little noisy and messy.


----------



## Writ (Jul 12, 2012)

I just watched an episode of House Hunters International yesterday. The couple were from Budapest. Actually, they lived in a few cities around the world over the years, including Chicago. 

Potty, you need to come to Milwaukee. If not Milwaukee just about anywhere in the United States. I can't believe the cost of renting property in London for the tiny amount of apartment you get. You people live like trapped rats. 

This couple wanted an apartment under $4,000.00 a month. They settled on one I think cost about $3,800.00 a month. And the size of their apartment you could have gotten in Milwaukee for about $600 - $680 or so. 

The $4,000.00 a month one bedroom luxury apartment (it was very nice looking, albeit small for the price tag by Milwaukee standards) you could get in Milwaukee selling tacos with a rent assistance voucher paying only 30% of your income a month, albeit you'll be on over a years long waiting list to get on the voucher program, but doable.

For $4,000.00 a month you could rent a mammoth luxury apartment in Milwaukee. You'll live like a pimp instead of a trapped rat like you people in London do. 

You people know nothing about big houses, big cars, and big skies. 

Become a pilgrim. Escape from your space oppression. Scrap the boat idea.


----------



## Potty (Jul 12, 2012)

To be honest... I'm going to have to be offered a hell of a lot of money to move anywhere in the USA.


----------



## Writ (Jul 12, 2012)

Potty said:


> To be honest... I'm going to have to be offered a hell of a lot of money to move anywhere in the USA.



Why? You can live a better material quality of life over here. I kid you not. I don't think you have any idea how big our typical homes are to yours.

Our black poor live in bigger houses than some of your rich whites in the U.K.

And I'm talking houses and not apartments. 

The problem with some of our poor renting - what are essentially middle-class homes originally - is that they're too stupid to keep the property they're living in up. Some new black folks moved across the alley from my parents. They bought the house one of the few white folks - and long time residents - of the neighborhood had. They got tired of the jive and crime in the area and moved to the suburbs to enjoy the rest of their retirement years. The house and garage was well kept under the previous owners, but these new owners in a span of weeks it seems, somehow found it capable of destroying the house and garage. This is a middle-class area, but their garage door they rammed down, littered the inside (now visible) with junk, and through garbage all around the outside. 

Many of the poor in the United States think it's the job of the government (or landlord) to wash their dishes and dispose of their trash in the proper receptacles. Apparently, they think the Republicans are meanies because they expect people not to tear down their own doors or break their own windows. Other than that you can live pretty good in the U.S. as a poor person - assuming you're receiving public benefits. (which for many males that's unlikely, but for most poor women it's almost a birth right) 

Or... you can continue to live in those tiny cubicles in England for astronomical prices like a trapped rat. 

I think I probably live better in Milwaukee off of $1,021 a month from government benefits than anyone in England can live off of $3,000 a month toiling two jobs. Really.


----------



## Potty (Jul 12, 2012)

I'm not motivated by space or material gain really. I just want enough money so I can take up proffesional unemployment. I quite like the space we have here in the UK. What I like best is that I don't need to buy a gun to make sure I am living on a level playing field.


----------



## shadowwalker (Jul 12, 2012)

Writ said:


> Many of the poor in the United States think it's the job of the government (or landlord) to wash their dishes and dispose of their trash in the proper receptacles. Apparently, they think the Republicans are meanies because they expect people not to tear down their own doors or break their own windows. Other than that you can live pretty good in the U.S. as a poor person - assuming you're receiving public benefits. (which for many males that's unlikely, but for most poor women it's almost a birth right)



Wow.

Just... wow...


----------



## Potty (Jul 12, 2012)

Is this going to turn into a political debate that no one outside of the US understands?


----------



## shadowwalker (Jul 12, 2012)

Potty said:


> Is this going to turn into a political debate that no one outside of the US understands?



Not on my part - I just had to express myself on that particular set of statements.


----------



## Kevin (Jul 12, 2012)

It would be nice if someone else paid your 'rent'. I rented a two bedroom and turned it into a four. Then I built a 'shed'. I was paying  like a one tenth of the rent. For a while there, I had it made. Then the owner sold. I could have done it again, but my 'partner'..well she didn't like the hassle... Now I have a mortgage..I wish I'd bought a rental.


----------



## Nemesis (Jul 12, 2012)

Ugh.... Milwaukee.... y'al Milwaukee'ans keep migrating over to the Iron mountain/Kingsford area and ruining everything. Don't move to Milwaukee Potty, its horrible and the people are rude.


----------



## Writ (Jul 12, 2012)

Potty said:


> Is this going to turn into a political debate that no one outside of the US understands?



Naw, just giving a little info inner-city folks don't like to hear. But as all this pertains to you and the U.K.... you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. The ironic thing is some of the homes in the Brazilian favelas are far better looking on the inside than the outside (in the U.S. and the U.K. it's often the reverse sometimes), and some look pretty darn nice in the inside (some I said, not all). And some have as much space if not more than some of the million plus dollar homes in London that have kitchens smaller than my own apartment's kitchen!

Strange world.

Anyways... not to derail... but Shadow, I wasn't speaking about all U.S. poor just a damn lot of them. They're cut from a different cloth than those of us reared in the Black-American middle-class. The latter are like the old German and Polish-Americans and wash their sidewalks down. Their lawns and homes are close to immaculate. The former live like I said. Or as a former female, black, sociology teacher of mine once said... she was raised poor but with middle-class values. The poor blame everyone else in the world.

You go on Highland Blvd. where my apartment is and that _literally _used to be an area dominated by rich whites over a century ago. You have mansions and mini-mansions around that area. The whites from the suburbs come in and buy homes and make major renovations on them whilst the poor are literally living in some of these former mansions and running them down to hell. That's like someone taking a nice BMW and taking a hammer to it or never changing the oil. 

I'm just telling you fact. You can work at Taco Bell and literally live in Milwaukee the equivalent of a millionaire in the U.K. but so many poor in Milwaukee are just too stupid and lazy to do it. They rather live like bums than fill out an application for a voucher for rent assistance. Not that they wouldn't fill it out... but unless someone hand delivers the application to them they can't be bothered to get off their lazy butts to travel to go fill one out. 

Noxicity, I have no idea what areas you're talking about. Trust, no one in Milwaukee that is sane is relocating to Baltimore or anywhere around it.


----------



## Potty (Jul 12, 2012)

... not really getting any closer to me getting £60k though are we?


----------



## Nemesis (Jul 12, 2012)

> Noxicity, I have no idea what areas you're talking about. Trust, no one in Milwaukee that is sane is relocating to Baltimore or anywhere around it.



Oh you misunderstand, I live in  MD (stationed here) but I'm from the UP of Michigan. I live in kingsford and a lot of former Milwaukee residents have relocated there. Most of them the type you were describing earlier.





Anyways, you are right Potty. It isn't, unfortunetly I don't know enough about the UK to suggest anything. However you could check out the pain survey things online or sell stuff for a company.


----------



## Potty (Jul 12, 2012)

*sigh* a little part of me was hoping this would result in a charity handout.


----------



## Nemesis (Jul 12, 2012)

Sorry hon, I'm a broke airman living pay to pay with 8 mouths to feed on my one paycheck. Believe me I understand


----------



## Potty (Jul 12, 2012)

You would think we would have some rich famous authors on here, no? Seems I have to do everything myself


----------



## The Backward OX (Jul 12, 2012)

Potty said:


> Right so me and the other half have outstayed our welcome living with her mum and dad. With the housing market being what it is these days we can't afford to buy. We really don't want to waste our money renting so we have decided to live on a canal boat. We are both excited about the idea and have worked out the financial aspects and it is very affordable.
> 
> We've seen a boat we like for £34,950 but we want to consildate a few of our other loans (car payment etc) into the boats finances. We would need between 50-60k for us to move on the boat with only one payment. We have enquired about a canal boat mortgage but we would need a 25% deposit... While it would only take us a year to save this... the boat we like may go, and we don't really want to stay here for another year.
> 
> Can anyone recomend other ways to find the funding? We were going to ask the bank, but I doubt they would ever loan £60k



Hey, Pottso

There could be a number of ways out of this problem. Unfortunately, some of them initially require either more cash input, or more effort, from you. 

The first one doesn’t. It just needs a magnanimous boat-owner. You might be able to talk him into accepting what I’ll call a ‘rent-buy’ agreement, where you rent the boat for a period, with the rent payments becoming the down-payment. The cost to you might be a slightly higher price, or losing the money if you pull out. With a scheme like this, there’s also a possibility the boat-owner might be prepared to become the lender.

Next, you could move to a big city, rent a cheap and nasty flat, work two or three jobs (cab driving’s a good way to rake in extra tax-free dosh if you’re smart), and save every penny you can.

Does the other half work? Why not? Maybe she could work two jobs too. If you were driving a cab at night you could put her on the street and pimp for her…

…or you could put that boat on a canal that runs between big cities, advertise ‘Make Love On a Slow Boat’ in their local papers, and… 

More ideas:

(To the tune of My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean)

My father makes book on the corner
My auntie makes synthetic gin
My sister sells kisses to sailors 
My God, how the money rolls in!

Chorus:

Rolls in, rolls in, my God, how the money rolls in, rolls in!
Rolls in, rolls in, my God, how the money rolls in!

My mother's a bawdyhouse keeper
Every night when the evening grows dim 
She hangs a red light in the window
My God, how the money rolls in!

My grandpa makes cheap prophylactics
He pierces the end with a pin
My grandma gets rich on abortions
My God, how the money rolls in!

My brother's a street-corner preacher
He saves gorgeous women from sin
He'll save you a blonde for a fiver
My God, how the money rolls in!

My brother's a Harley Street surgeon
With instruments long, sharp, and thin.
He only knows one operation.
My God, how the money rolls in!

Uncle Tommy was once in a prison,
Where he was a joy to the men,
Now he bends over for business,
My God, how the money rolls in.

All you need is to think outside the square. And if you miss this boat, there'll always be others.
Good luck.


----------



## Potty (Jul 12, 2012)

Some repressed desire to be a pimp there Ox?


----------



## Nemesis (Jul 13, 2012)

Not just any pimp potty, he wants to be _your _pimp


----------



## Baron (Jul 13, 2012)

Put out an ad saying, "Want to know how to avoid internet scams?  Send me £2.00 and I'll let you in on the secret."  Wait until you get 30,000 replies and then e-mail telling them not to answer ads like this.


----------



## philistine (Jul 13, 2012)

Baron said:


> Put out an ad saying, "Want to know how to avoid internet scams?  Send me £2.00 and I'll let you in on the secret."  Wait until you get 30,000 replies and then e-mail telling them not to answer ads like this.



This may actually work. Or, he could simply target the rich and thick, and hope for a one-time payment of 60k.


----------



## Writ (Jul 13, 2012)

There's a new movie out, called Magic Mike's I think. If you're a good looking bloke you could earn extra income taking off your clothes for women, Potty. If you're not that good looking then maybe you could build a niche stripping for old women in retirement and nursing homes. 

Or maybe you can perform at one of your local pubs as a drag queen.

You can also sell your sperm to sperm banks. Then you would create a thousand little Pottys' all around the world.




I still think your boat idea is not the best choice. You're not a frog or mosquito. Sure, you can live in a boat out on the water with you ol' lady. But you can also live like a bird in a tree with you and your wife perched up high in Sherwood Forest. 

God didn't give us gills or wings. Why? Because he wanted us land lovers, and our feet planted on earth, so we could be in walking distance of Taco Bell or a liquor store. 

So, what are you going to do when your boat gets a hole in it? Then you realize like those Californians that keep building homes were mud slides occur why Writ says one good thing about the City of London is that you don't have to worry about forest fires. That's one of Writ's ten rules of common sense. That's why I don't live in a tree, Potty. That's why Writ has never been victim of mud slides or drowning. Because Writ has never gotten it confused.. he's not a f'ing beaver. Sure, I could live like Tarzan, but I'm not in Africa. I never got it confused. I live like a n-double-g with a drivers license. If you want to live with nature go live with Alan up in Montana. At least Montana doesn't have sharks.


----------



## Potty (Jul 13, 2012)

Writ said:


> Then you would create a thousand little Pottys' all around the world.



Then I wouldn't be unique



> God didn't give us gills or wings. Why? Because he wanted us land lovers, and our feet planted on earth



Getting into a religious debate with you is a sure fire way of getting an infraction... so all Im going to say is that god wants us to do a lot of thing we don't and not to do a lot of things we do. With regard to being on the water... would he have told the fishermen which side to cast their nets if he dissaproved?




> So, what are you going to do when your boat gets a hole in it?



Ring the insurance company



> one good thing about the City of London is that you don't have to worry about forest fires.



Never taught about the great fire of london at school then?



> That's why I don't live in a tree, Potty.



And that's why you're going to live the same life as many others in the world  leave home, buy a house, work your ass off, die in the house.

Nothing wrong with wanting a boat. Living in a home has been done to death, I'm going for something a bit different.


----------



## Writ (Jul 13, 2012)

Potty said:


> Then I wouldn't be unique.



:lol: Well done, Potty. 




> Getting into a religious debate with you is a sure fire way of getting an infraction... so all Im going to say is that god wants us to do a lot of thing we don't and not to do a lot of things we do. With regard to being on the water... would he have told the fishermen which side to cast their nets if he dissaproved?



They weren't living on the water with their ol' ladies, Potty.

Hey, I lived for a temporary period out at sea. I was stationed on a battleship as part of a Marine detachment. But I'm no Blackbeard or pirate. 





> Ring the insurance company



I thought more like plug the holes with your fingers. But calling the insurance company is a good idea too. Just make sure you're not too far out at sea when a big storm rolls through. I'd hate to see you end up on Gilligan's Island.




> Never taught about the great fire of london at school then?



Is that the one with the London Bridge falling down and consequently the nursery rhyme my mother use to sing to me?




> And that's why you're going to live the same life as many others in the world  leave home, buy a house, work your ass off, die in the house.



I'm going to buy an ice cream truck and woo all the single ladies by the scoop, Potty. Even married women. When I pull up to Noxicity's base housing and sell all her 8 mouths she feeds, with delicious ice cream cones, she's going to be defenseless to my charm. 

Lucky for you I can't reach your wife on the boat. Mr. Pirates of the Caribbean. 



> Nothing wrong with wanting a boat. Living in a home has been done to death, I'm going for something a bit different.



You have a point. Plus, a really nicely furnished yacht is pretty pimpish.


----------



## Baron (Jul 13, 2012)

Blues musician, John Mayall, lived for some time in a tree house in a Manchester park when he was skint.


----------



## Writ (Jul 13, 2012)

You could prepare us Americans when you use British slang. I had to google to see what you meant by skint.

(the world would be soooo much and easier place if everyone just used American slang)


skint - definition of skint by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus and Encyclopedia.


----------



## Baron (Jul 13, 2012)

Writ said:


> You could prepare us Americans when you use British slang. I had to google to see what you meant by skint.
> 
> (the world would be soooo much and easier place if everyone just used American slang)
> 
> ...



Where would you have been if I'd said "boracic"?


----------



## Cefor (Jul 13, 2012)

Christ... Potty, just move back up North :/ We're not all that bad up here. Granted, I don't quite know the cost of housing or even rentals in my area, but that's because I want to get University out of the way with first. I'll be renting in north Wales this time next year... here's to hoping that Wales doesn't count as part of the 'Southern' latitude.

Agreed about the whole London thing, though. Far too pricey unless you've got a very nice job. £4 a pint in itself is indicative of the ridiculous prices, £6 for a double and mixer. Scandalous.

As for the sixty grand you want... how about self-publishing some e-books until you score the big time and hit a traditional publisher? It'd take some time unless you came up with some really awesome story that young teen girls go crazy about. Or women. Write "Sixty Shades of Green". Except our money isn't green... "Sixty Shades of Purple", then. Watch those twenties roll in.


----------



## The Backward OX (Jul 13, 2012)

Baron said:


> Put out an ad saying, "Want to know how to avoid internet scams? Send me £2.00 and I'll let you in on the secret." Wait until you get 30,000 replies and then e-mail telling them not to answer ads like this.





philistine said:


> This may actually work.



Of course it might actually work. This is an excellent idea if handled correctly.


----------



## Baron (Jul 14, 2012)

If summer continues as it is then we'll all be living on boats.


----------



## Potty (Jul 14, 2012)

I know! I can't believe all this rain!


----------



## Olly Buckle (Jul 14, 2012)

Owning does not get you out of paying, if it is a house it is repairs and poll tax, a boat will cost you in mooring fees, almost as much as rent probably.
A canal boat is freezing in the winter, think 50% of the wall under water.
We had a coach when we were in this position, parked it in a friend's orchard and installed a wood burning stove. It is a lot cheaper to buy, you can move anywhere, not just where there are canals, it is a lot easier to find somewhere to park than moor up, and you can keep it warm. Seriously, cold is a real problem with boats, okay in summer, pain in winter, and don't get a chest infection, it could kill you. 
It was a while ago, but the coach cost £600 and I probably spent the same again doing up the inside and getting it serviced etc., we lived in it for about four years and then I broke it for scrap and got most of the money back.


----------



## Potty (Jul 14, 2012)

Mooring fee's are £1600 a year for the area we want to stay in (£150 a month). Canal boats are actually quite warm in the winter if you have a log burner fitted, dry too. Poll tax? which government are you living under? Weve done a lot of research into it and are still up for the idea

Got a picture of your coach?


----------



## bo_7md (Jul 14, 2012)

Baron said:


> Put out [strike]an ad saying, "[/strike]Want to? [strike]know how to avoid internet scams?[/strike] Send me £2.00 and I'll let you in [strike] on the secret."  Wait until you get 30,000 replies and then e-mail telling them not to answer ads like this[/strike].



Reading between the lines = profit!

No need for charity hand-outs anymore. Also, when you get the money don't blow it all in one place take your time. 

Sorry, I couldn't resist.


----------



## Writ (Jul 14, 2012)

Baron said:


> Where would you have been if I'd said "boracic"?



Up a creek without a paddle.

boracic - Wiktionary


----------



## JosephB (Jul 14, 2012)

I'm with Olly on this. Like they say, a boat is a hole in water that you throw money into. I've never known anyone with any kind of boat other than a canoe or a row boat who wasn't always bitching about the cost of the upkeep.


----------



## The Backward OX (Jul 14, 2012)

Baron said:


> Where would you have been if I'd said "boracic"?


I know I'm thick, but I've failed to find a word rhyming with "acid" that means "penniless". 



Olly Buckle said:


> Owning does not get you out of paying, if it is a house it is repairs and poll tax, a boat will cost you in mooring fees, almost as much as rent probably.
> A canal boat is freezing in the winter, think 50% of the wall under water.
> We had a coach when we were in this position, parked it in a friend's orchard and installed a wood burning stove. It is a lot cheaper to buy, you can move anywhere, not just where there are canals, it is a lot easier to find somewhere to park than moor up, and you can keep it warm. Seriously, cold is a real problem with boats, okay in summer, pain in winter, and don't get a chest infection, it could kill you.
> It was a while ago, but the coach cost £600 and I probably spent the same again doing up the inside and getting it serviced etc., we lived in it for about four years and then I broke it for scrap and got most of the money back.


Olly, you're showing your age. You're becoming a nay-sayer. I read a book about an Aussie or Kiwi couple (don't remember which) who bought a French canal boat and lived on it for a few years. He had the time of his life. Admittedly she didn't, but then you can't have everything.



Potty said:


> Mooring fee's are £1600 a year for the area we want to stay in (£150 a month).


 If your navigation is as good as your arithmetic, you'll prolly finish up in the North Sea. 





> Canal boats are actually quite warm in the winter if you have a log burner fitted, dry too.


Daily Express headline: *CANAL BOAT BURNS TO WATERLINE*


> Poll tax? which government are you living under?


 You have to make allowances. Olly's getting on. 





> Weve done a lot of research into it and are still up for the idea
> 
> Got a picture of your coach?


Go for it.


----------



## The Backward OX (Jul 14, 2012)

Writ said:


> Up a creek without a paddle.


That's my line.


----------



## Baron (Jul 14, 2012)

The Backward OX said:


> I know I'm thick, but I've failed to find a word rhyming with "acid" that means "penniless".


The fount of all knowledge has dried up?  Boracic lint = skint.

Boracic Lint is Cockney Rhyming Slang for Skint (broke)!


----------



## The Backward OX (Jul 15, 2012)

Some of you might enjoy this:

*Extract from: *
*A Long Slow Affair of the Heart : An Adventure on the French Canals *
by Bruce Ansley 
*Format: *Paperback with Photo Section *ISBN: *978 1877460 21 0 *Release: *Nov 2008 
*Chapter Three *

We’d been in Holland two weeks when we became the proud new owners and de facto skippers of the _River Queen_. I felt vaguely Bogart-ish. Sally felt … well, the way you feel when your partner wakes up one day wanting to throw away the weekly pay cheque, leave your beloved house and abandon your family, friends and country for as far ahead as you could see. 

We weren’t even sure where we’d be going, except that it was a long way: a giant loop to Paris would cover three countries, 1,560 kilometres and 376 locks. Or we might go down to the south of France and the Mediterranean, fewer locks but breathtaking. Who knew? We only had to ready the _River Queen _and the journey would begin. 

We loaded our expanding baggage into the little Peugeot, said goodbye to the lovely Schoorl, and took up our new address in the Jachthaven de Maas, Alem. 

Living in marinas was one of my passions. I loved the gentle movement, the clinking, slapping, gurgling sound of boats at rest, the ranks of them lined up for inspection while their owners were absent and so unable to look indignantly from portholes as I prowled around. 

The Jachthaven de Maas was unusual. Foreigners had lived there before, but so few of them they were all known by name, and people at the marina could recount their sailing history, or where in the world they could be found at this very moment. 

The marina lay in a pool at the end of a branch off the River Maas, some forty kilometres south of Utrecht. It was owned by the Bosma family. Mrs Bosma, dark, attractive, looked after the office, wielded power saws and paintbrushes, and in her spare time crewed on a fast, open sailing boat. Mr Bosma, dark, attractive, floated hither and yon, and in his spare time skippered an extremely fast open boat full of laughing passengers on the River Maas. The two of them lived on a brightly painted tugboat reached by a winding path and rustic bridge.

Carlos, the younger son, was studying to be a barge captain. He lived on a small converted barge with his girlfriend, who was a waitress in the café floating on a huge pontoon in the marina. Ricardo, the older, lived with his girlfriend on a much bigger barge, immaculately kept, moored beside his parents. He spent much of his time with the red-haired Patric, who was about his age, twenty-three, and was mechanic and general fix-it man. The two got along in the way young men do. 

Patric drove an old Citröen limousine, Ricardo a Mercedes. 
Ricardo: I like his car. Pity it’s French. 
Patric: If I want to drive in a Mercedes, I take a taxi.

The Jachthaven de Maas lay below an imposing church in the tiny village of Alem, whose industrial pottery museum hinted at a former life. Now it was quiet, so still that walking in its streets in the evenings we’d be startled by the appearance of a human being. Even the church door seemed permanently locked. Except for the marina the village had only two functioning businesses when we got there. One, the grocery store, closed down the day after we arrived, leaving the other, the local pub. This seldom opened and when it did, accommodated some event or another, such as a male choir, or a flower show. It too had been about to close its doors forever, until a local man took it over and saved it. He had a job in another town, so it opened only two or three nights a week, and sometimes at weekends. 

The job of entertaining locals fell to the marina café. Except for lunchtimes on fine days, the pickings seemed to be slim, until we discovered that it didn’t really start to spark until after ten p.m. Then, the various inhabitants of the marina would go for a schnapps and a chat, for the yachthaven had quite a lot of permanent residents. 

Some lived on luxurious motor launches which would have fitted right into the Riviera. One couple spent weekends aboard a huge white fibreglass construction with curved glass and engines which blasted the peace of Saturday mornings and suggested great speed, although on the 
slow rivers and canals of the Netherlands its pace obviously reverberated only in the minds of its owners. 

She was bright blonde, one of those thin Dutch woman so youthful we suspected they were trophy brides until close up they proved to be as carefully maintained as, in this case, the immaculate cruiser. He also was older than his apparent years; he dressed in tight white pants and yellow T-shirts, which he shed as the sun came up to reveal a sunbed tan and a finely-shaped little paunch. The white leather banquettes on their vessel’s sundeck were reserved for their two ferocious Alsatians, whose black snouts hung over the rails as we passed, snarling and barking and delighting their owners. They were our introduction to European dogs. Most European boats kept dogs. 

Dogs smell and the boats were small. Most of them reeked. Once I knew a man who lived on a boat in the Lyttelton marina, with a cocker spaniel. He locked his dog in the cabin when he went to work, and in the evenings when he returned home he’d unlock the cabin door and exclaim, ‘Oh, you dirty dog, oh, you filthy mutt, oh, oh, oh.’ Everyone sided with the dog, whose options were limited. Canal boaties would have agreed, then invited you in to admire the mess. Rover was so tidy, they’d say. Always behind the chair.


----------



## Potty (Jul 15, 2012)

The Backward OX said:


> He also was older than his apparent years; he dressed in tight white pants and yellow T-shirts, which he shed as the sun came up to reveal a sunbed tan and a finely-shaped little paunch.



And now we know what the Ox looks like!


----------

