# (WARNING: Adult Language) "Forget You? No, Most Definitely!" -- 307 Words



## garnerdavis

I wrote a fictional, farcical autobiography about a guy who suffers boatloads of mishaps, in part due to his capacity for easy distraction (not to mention, other shortcomings). Before I even try to get it published, I'm arranging for my MC to run his own blog, where he'll post daily comedic episodes in his life (in the period after the book leaves off). What follows is a proposed entry; not the first, but one which stands reasonably alone. All the reader needs to know, I believe, is that Sophia is the MC's wife. So, here goes. All feedback greatly appreciated.

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I like the Cee Lo Green song, “Forget You.” I positively love its unsanitized version, “F**k You.” That’s the one I downloaded and burned a few weeks ago, along with some other current tunes I fancy. After popping the shiny new CD into my car’s player, I listened to it nonstop for a solid week. Then, in typical fashion, I forgot about it.

Yesterday, the CD’s existence and contents were recalled to my attention by Sophia’s sister-in-law, Gina. She’d sent her car off for servicing, and I’d graciously lent her my own, so she could drive her three-year-old daughter to a doctor’s appointment. Frankly, I fail to understand how Gina’s decision to take Grandma along for the ride, and the consequences of said choice, get pinned on me. I’d turned off the radio two weeks earlier, and hadn’t powered it up since. And I’m not the one who left her mother-in-law and toddler alone together in the vehicle for several minutes, with the engine running.

How can it be my fault that the technologically-challenged old woman, who gave birth to my wife, inadvertently pressed the radio’s power button, while absorbed in rearranging her voluminous pocketbook? Or that it took her a full three minutes to figure out how to turn the unit off again after music began playing? And why blame me for the simple, though admittedly unfortunate, coincidence of the tune blaring from the stereo happening to be none other than Cee Lo Green’s chart-topper?

I think you can guess my answer to each of those questions. However, I suppose when a mother steps into a car and hears her precocious three-year-old singing “Fuck you, and Fuck her too!,” at the top of her lungs – while accompanying each “F” phrase with separate, disturbingly appropriate stares at her mommy and grandma – there has to be a scapegoat.


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## Jinxi

LOL! Thoroughly enjoyed this  Hopefully you will post a few more?


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## garnerdavis

Jinxi said:


> LOL! Thoroughly enjoyed this  Hopefully you will post a few more?


 
Thanks Jinxi.  Not sure if I'll post more here, but the blog is now up and running, so I hope you'll check out further posts there.  STERNBLOG.GARNERDAVIS.NET


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## Jinxi

I had a look at the blog and LMAO! It is brilliant. I especially love the greeting from Little Richard


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## Just Daisy

I was really hoping you'd post the link to the blog at some point. What a great idea, I like it a lot. You have a real talent, your writing is so fluid.


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## torbird

This is great, and reminds me of my daughter reading out hugely inappropriate graffiti to my mum when she was smaller. It's brilliantly believable.


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## Kel Sicarius

Hehe, you should do a compilation of daily musings from your fictional person... Could be really funny. Will take a look at the blog when it's not 1am!


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## garnerdavis

Kel Sicarius said:


> Hehe, you should do a compilation of daily musings from your fictional person... Could be really funny. Will take a look at the blog when it's not 1am!



Great minds think alike? I've thought of someday using the blog entries as the sequel to my book (a diary of the character's life and recollections in the period after his "autobiography" leaves off).


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## Prof

You write well.  I expect every parent has a similar story.  I will take a look at your bog too.  One minor nit to pick.  The very last sentence is quite convoluted, and there is general agreement that "However" should not be used to start a sentence.

I did like the piece however.


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## Giantlobsterrobot

Whether it's fictional or not doesn't matter.  It's a funny and EXTREMELY believable story.  The shortness of it makes it very easy to share the laughs with others too.  I love the ending and your main character.  The simplicity of it is where the humor lies.  It's not hysterical.  It didn't make me laugh out loud, but it made me smile, and it's certainly worth passing on to others.  I will have to view your blog now.


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## Higurro

I loved this; it's short but believable and genuinely witty. I love Cee Lo and Gnarls Barkely, but might have been tempted to go for Deadmau5's Hey Baby for some really inappropriate lyrics.


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## stevetaylor67

Great piece, and it's a situation I could very easily find myself in!


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## Fei

lol


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## MattyMattyMosca

This is hilarious because it sounds like something I would do! Things tend to slip my mind lol


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## mblank

Great ending!  I loved the image of the three year old singing.


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## iflewoverthecuckoosnest

Haha, I loved this XD  Brilliance, I say.


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## A Scott

I loved this.  Reminds me of the time my wife was struggling to put my youngest daughter into her car seat.  The thing was always a pain because the buckle that held her in never wanted to snap.  I, naturally, would get frustrated.  On the day in question, my wife was trying to get the thing to snap into place when my eighteen month-old daughter smiled and said, "Fuckin' car seat."  Astonished, my wife asked her where she learned such filth, and my daughter smiled again and said, "Daddy said it!"


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## summergenevieve

This is so funny. Very enjoyable.


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## Mufasa99

I liked it. Very amusing.


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## Jesse

This was great.  Your writing is very fluid and everything about this scene is very relatable and realistic.  Great job!


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## thepancreas11

I think we've all had one those moments. I would love reading things like this, little anecdotes that remind you that you're human. That's why I love reading. it takes the pressure off being perfect.

As far as tips for writing, I would just say that the more you read your piece out loud, the more your voice will show.  Sometimes when you write from the first person, you lose the phrasing of speech, and it can seem clunky. This part, "the CD’s existence and contents were recalled to my attention by Sophia’s sister-in-law", seems a little backward.

Can't wait to read the blog!


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## khanover

That is quite an awesome idea that you have there! Such a relatable post as well, I don't know how many times I have gotten into my car after jamming out to my music with my daughter climbing in the back seat. Luckily, she hasn't repeated Cee-Lo's historical words...yet! I would love to see more, this is very relatable humor!


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## allenasm

I got a good chuckle out of this one.  Nicely done.


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## LunarFuror

This was great, we had something similar to this happen at a birthday party. It quickly grew into a chorus of slurs from small children. Many a tear were shed in laughter!


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## DannyMullen

I like the concept, and love the first two lines. Also, your voice, for some reason, reminds me of Patrick Bateman from _American Psycho_. Compliment. That's my favorite book.


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## jecht12

Reminds me of several instances of the intertwining of younger and older mindsets in my family. Especially if my grandmother starts dancing to hip-hop and dubstep....


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## Siennea

I loved reading this! Please post more of these.


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## Canjul

Hahaha, lovely. It's short, it's funny, it's relatable and the quality of the writing is damn near perfect for what it is. Very fluid and natural, with a great eye for vocabulary. It's always especially impressive when such a short vignette has a clearly defined beginning, middle and end.

I especially enjoyed the detail of the little girl looking from person to person as she sings. This is very natural, something kids absolutely do while singing, but that also reinforces the "punchline". This got a big, stupid grin out of me and I definitely look forward to reading more.


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## The Bruce

Quality, especially the "disturbingly appropriate stares"!


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## nerdybynature

You are on to something brilliant, I just got through a few entries on your blog as well...and the concept is not only genius but oddly relatable, I'm seriously looking forward to 1.reading your blog thoroughly and 2. spreading the word of your works to my fellow cronies.


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## Diatsu

Haha xD I hope you post more things of this nature in the future.


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## Laughing Duck 137z

Oh so funny. Happened to a friend of mine.


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## ChrisChandler00

Really enjoyed it and will be checking out the blog!


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## EBKMSC

liked this a lot actually so i will
 check the blog out in a bit


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## JellyTrigger

garnerdavis said:


> I wrote a fictional, farcical autobiography about a guy who suffers boatloads of mishaps, in part due to his capacity for easy distraction (not to mention, other shortcomings). Before I even try to get it published, I'm arranging for my MC to run his own blog, where he'll post daily comedic episodes in his life (in the period after the book leaves off). What follows is a proposed entry; not the first, but one which stands reasonably alone. All the reader needs to know, I believe, is that Sophia is the MC's wife. So, here goes. All feedback greatly appreciated.
> 
> _______________________________________________________
> 
> 
> I like the Cee Lo Green song, “Forget You.” I positively love its unsanitized version, “F**k You.” That’s the one I downloaded and burned a few weeks ago, along with some other current tunes I fancy. After popping the shiny new CD into my car’s player, I listened to it nonstop for a solid week. Then, in typical fashion, I forgot about it.
> 
> Yesterday, the CD’s existence and contents were recalled to my attention by Sophia’s sister-in-law, Gina. She’d sent her car off for servicing, and I’d graciously lent her my own, so she could drive her three-year-old daughter to a doctor’s appointment. Frankly, I fail to understand how Gina’s decision to take Grandma along for the ride, and the consequences of said choice, get pinned on me. I’d turned off the radio two weeks earlier, and hadn’t powered it up since. And I’m not the one who left her mother-in-law and toddler alone together in the vehicle for several minutes, with the engine running.
> 
> How can it be my fault that the technologically-challenged old woman, who gave birth to my wife, inadvertently pressed the radio’s power button, while absorbed in rearranging her voluminous pocketbook? Or that it took her a full three minutes to figure out how to turn the unit off again after music began playing? And why blame me for the simple, though admittedly unfortunate, coincidence of the tune blaring from the stereo happening to be none other than Cee Lo Green’s chart-topper?
> 
> I think you can guess my answer to each of those questions. However, I suppose when a mother steps into a car and hears her precocious three-year-old singing “Fuck you, and Fuck her too!,” at the top of her lungs – while accompanying each “F” phrase with separate, disturbingly appropriate stares at her mommy and grandma – there has to be a scapegoat.



Dear garnerdavis,

That my friend, was absolutely hilarious! Even though the old, "child hearing a curse word and repeating it" has already been done in the past, the way you set it up in writing made it feel fresh and new. I enjoyed the way your sentences rolled of my tongue as well as your collaboration of what took place that jamming day.

I hope you continue making more of these funny short stories!

Sincerely,
Christian Rodriguez
The Newbie Writer


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## John T. K.

Funny. Checking out blog now!


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## Amnesiac

Hilarious... I can totally see this happening, and what's more, this is precisely my kind of luck! LOL (had to double-check and make sure I typed "luck" instead of... well, you know...) :icon_cheesygrin:


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## tjc5172

This was hilarious. My little sister would sing that song all the time.


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