# My idea for a controversial script...



## salmon the creative (Jan 23, 2008)

Im very new to the writing of scripts and such so before i even start, i will need guidance and help.

My idea is that a man, called Stuart, and a woman, called Joyce, meet up in a nightclub and start getting together. As you would gather, they make their relationship offical by arranging to get married. However, something that Stuart discovers threatens to destroy their marriage before its even begun. Not only that, they will both have to face up to the horrifying fact and the entire script centres around the emotional trauma and dilemmas that everyone, not just Stuart and Joyce, have to face. Because Stuart discovers that he and Joyce are brothers in sisters. Their mother died during childbirth and their father was in prison for drug offences so the next thing that happened was that the pair were seperated and adopted by different families and never knew they had relatives. Now, the two are reunited and what happens next is up to them...

What do you think? Im postive that this idea would make an emotional and deep plotline and, although im used to writing books about murder, death and mystery, im confident that i could make a perfect script.


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## Erik Buchanan (Jan 23, 2008)

If you think it's a good idea, write it and find out.

If you aren't confident enough in the idea to go ahead with it without getting opinions from other people, chances are you shouldn't write it.


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## Wallmaker (Jan 23, 2008)

Hrrm.  It all really depends on what this other emotional traumas and other characters that exist and what Stuart discovers which might destroy their marriage before it is even begun.   How soon  do they discover they are in an incestual relationship?  What is the end result?

My only real worry so far is that the incest is going to be so blatant and strong so early in the piece, which will make it controversial... but once you have that cat out of the bag, can you really top it?  Have you seen a film called Lonestar?  It's an excellent murder/death/mystery piece with similar themes and an incest twist.  Quite controversial, but that reveal is saved for when we are more invested in the characters and we've been wanting them to be together... which is the real edginess of it because the audience is also conflicted!

I'd say outline your story and post it if you can.  It might fill in the gaps and we can give you better feedback.  There seems to be a lot of subplots going on that aren't brought up.

Also, see Lonestar if you haven't yet.  It just my rock your socks off and give you ideas for your own story.


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## salmon the creative (Jan 23, 2008)

what i was planning if for stuart to discover about their relationship about half way through the story. The reason for this is because i wanted the reader to really want stuart and joyce to get married and i wanted them to get really involved with them and then when the reader discovers that they are in fact in an incestual relationship, they dont know what to think and then the story kind of plays out to them if you know what im saying.

Anyways, i just posted my idea on here because i wanted feedback on how everyone else thought it would be but im still going to write it whether the feedback would be positive or negative. Im extremely confident that i would make a good job out of it and im going to start writing it very soon. And i wanted the incest aspect to be the biggest part of the plotline and the thing that would be the most controversial...


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## Wallmaker (Jan 23, 2008)

Salmon,

I don't know how it would work becuase I don't think you've pitched enough of the story.  So far, you've only brought us up to the middle.  What happens after they discover they are in an incestual relationship?  I'd like to hear more about it before I  feel I can give feedback.  Of course you should write it!  But I also hope you write it not just to make it controversial, but also to make an emotionally deep story with the an enriching plot that you mentioned.  Right now, I just want to hear about how it all comes together so I can give the feedback you wanted.


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## murder_of_crows (Jan 23, 2008)

not to rain on the parade and i dont know if you knew this but this was a big head line in the news probably 3 months ago it really happened to a couple im not tring to be a dick just wanted to get that out


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## Wallmaker (Jan 24, 2008)

It's okay to get an idea from an article, story, or a real life situation for a screenplay.  I don't think Salmon is using the article... but if you do adapt something that uses an article or a story or a real person, just make sure you get the rights before you pitch the movie to potential buyers.


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## murder_of_crows (Jan 24, 2008)

oh ya i agree 100% i was just bringing that out in the open incase he didnt know but i do agree


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## Screenplay Readers (Jan 26, 2008)

Sounds like it could be a pretty interesting movie.  I'd have to go with the other posters here and say "just write it and find out."  I also personally don't mind where the story comes from, as long as it's not another remake.  God save us from the remakes.

Brian


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## salmon the creative (Jan 26, 2008)

I am going to write it out as soon as possible i just wanted to know what everyone else thought of my idea. I was going to write it regardless of whether people liked it or not. And i am not going to be remaking anything and i have no idea about any article of the such about this topic so im not basing it off that lol


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## salmon the creative (Jan 27, 2008)

Ive been thinking about this today and i dont think that if i was to write it as a script or a play or whatever, i would do it as good as i could do it. I would make a lot better of a job if i turned it into a book or a short story or whatever. In fact, i might just abandon the idea altogether because i have LOADS of ideas on what iu could and would like to write and this idea just doesnt seem to stand out and i dont know why. Every idea i have is something i would definitley consider writing but when i think about THIS idea, i am just not motivated enough to write it. What do you think i should do - write this or abandon it and write something i would be dedicated to?...


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## Cervantes (Jan 27, 2008)

I suggest reading John Irving's _The Hotel New Hampshire. _That has an incestuous relationship in it. You can get into the minds of the characters.


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## Screenplay Readers (Jan 27, 2008)

Ah, that's a good one!  Irving is great.


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## Linton Robinson (Jan 27, 2008)

Like any other concept-driven play, it's got to stand on the feet of its own writing and dramatic quality.  Forget "controversial", just set out to tell a great story with this premise.  

Of course one major item is how they are going to resolve it.   They either stick together or they don't.  (For some reason I can't remember how Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid handled it in Lonestar)   But that decision has to make sense...and the ideal would be to have that sense pulled out of the hat in the last few minutes.   The suspense of the situation continues until that moment.

Of course it could turn out not to be true.  Cheap Hollywood copout style.

Or a "Gift of the Magi" thing where they both go get sterilized without telling the other one.   

Or touching, where he takes her to visit kids up for adaption.

Or the sad parting like "Spanglish", where they split up even though the audience is dying for them not to.

But, like I say, it all depends on how well you can pull it off.


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## Wallmaker (Feb 3, 2008)

salmon the creative said:


> Ive been thinking about this today and i dont think that if i was to write it as a script or a play or whatever, i would do it as good as i could do it. I would make a lot better of a job if i turned it into a book or a short story or whatever. In fact, i might just abandon the idea altogether because i have LOADS of ideas on what iu could and would like to write and this idea just doesnt seem to stand out and i dont know why. Every idea i have is something i would definitley consider writing but when i think about THIS idea, i am just not motivated enough to write it. What do you think i should do - write this or abandon it and write something i would be dedicated to?...


 
Woah.  Salmon, I think this is just a little too much for anyone to answer.  If you don't want to write this idea, no one is going to make you.  I am both envious and dubious of your confidence towards your treatment of this and your other ideas.  What if you start on another idea and give that one up to?  It might be helpful to just finish a script and learn the process.  Jumping from idea to idea, no matter how good the ideas are, won't give you a finished product to show off and use to your advantage.  Ideas are much easier to come by in the screenplay world than a well told, well written script.  And, you just can't learn enough about screenplay writing until you start writing it.

Also, why did you pitch this to us if you aren't that into it?

So, my advice.  Write something you are passionate about and stick with it.  It doesn't have to be this.  But you're going to have to really love whatever idea you write to make it through the period of writing it and writing it well.


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## Industrial (Feb 3, 2008)

Destroy this idea. Sorry, its just been done, nothing emotional or cutting edge. All this would accomplish is being controversial, you can do that with anything I think this plot has no promise. Sorry.


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## Linton Robinson (Feb 3, 2008)

You should be sorry.  That'sa very ignorant and uniformed dismissal of this thing.  I'm sure he won't pay any attention to this crap, but just in case:  Hey, don't pay any attention to this "destroy this" clown.


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