# Leaving Summer



## Firemajic (Oct 9, 2014)

The dying breath of summer
kissed scarlet leaves goodbye,
on the cool breeze of autumn
they swirl and dance and fly.

Landing gently on the ground,
restless, they mummer and sigh
of memories when they embraced
the trees against the cobalt sky.


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## TKent (Oct 9, 2014)

Very nice. I restrained from putting an exclamation point on that because it felt like shouting when your poem created such a nice calm cool vibe


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## Elvenswordsman (Oct 9, 2014)

Great. Thanks for sharing.


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## Apple Ice (Oct 9, 2014)

I will always be jelous of your poetic ability (in a good way). Splendid as always


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## jenthepen (Oct 9, 2014)

Good one, Jul! This really catches the mood of the changing seasons.


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## Blade (Oct 10, 2014)

Very smooth and clear to my mind.:encouragement:

I think it would flow a little better if you removed 'as' in line 3 and 'cobalt' in line 8 though I have no technical explanation for that.

Good work.


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## Firemajic (Oct 10, 2014)

TKent--thanks fo much for your kind comments, I am glad you enjoyed.
Elvenswordsman--Thanks for reading.
Apple Ice--thanks ! That's the nicest compliment:lol:
jenthepen--Thanks, I am glad you caught the "mood"
Blade--Thanks for your comments--I removed the "as in line 3, I understand what you mean about smoothing out the flow, I did not want to lose "cobalt", so I shortened "restlessly" to "restless", and nixed "Embellished" to "embraced"--I think that helps the rhythm a little. Hope you approve! Thanks . Peace...Jul


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## toddm (Oct 10, 2014)

very very nice, with vivid and refreshing imagery - just wish it was longer, seems like it needs one more stanza : ) the ellipses... I'm not sure if they are needed there at the end
the title is perfect! : )
---todd


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## dannyboy (Oct 11, 2014)

very good work.


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## E. Zamora (Oct 11, 2014)

I'm generally not a big beauty of nature poetry fan, but this paints a nice picture; like a small, nicely rendered watercolor, with just the right application of color.

Good job, Firemajic.


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## Firemajic (Oct 11, 2014)

Todd--I sent the ellipses to the graveyard, and who knows--maybe I will be inspired to write another stanza,sometimes we think a poem is finished when it really is not...

dannyboy--thank you so much for reading.

Esteban--I am pleased. A watercolor--I like that very much. Thank you for your kind comments.  Peace...Jul


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## Mistique (Oct 11, 2014)

I usually don't understand poetry much, but this I liked quite a bit. Made me feel nostalgic or something. Not sure why, but nice. Thanks.


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## Blade (Oct 11, 2014)

Firemajic said:


> I did not want to lose "cobalt", so I shortened "restlessly" to "restless", and nixed "Embellished" to "embraced"--I think that helps the rhythm a little. Hope you approve! Thanks . Peace...Jul



:icon_cheesygrin:It was my take on 'cobalt' that was a bit different. I was thinking a silver-grey metal that is somewhat rare and is used in alloys rather than as itself.sleeping

Cobalt blue is a different story. From Wiki:


> [Cobalt has been used to color glass since the Bronze Age. The excavation of the Uluburun shipwreck yielded an ingot of blue glass, which was cast during the 14th century BC



All's well that ends well.:dog:


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## escorial (Oct 12, 2014)

the first line had me feeling it was going to be a bit melancholy but after that it expressed a more uplifting way of describing the content..a very breezy piece but at the same time if i wanted to read it as a melancholy piece i feel i could...brilliant


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## Firemajic (Oct 12, 2014)

Blade--My mistake, I should have said "cobalt blue" but that did not fit thanks.
escorial--I love seeing my poetry through your eyes, thanks for reading and for your comments,I always learn something from you. Peace...Jul
Mistique--thank you, I am glad you enjoyed.


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## The Defenestrator (Oct 13, 2014)

This poem has a fantastic flow.  Great job on the metrical aspect. You also appeal to a lot of senses, in an equally skilled manner.  Nice job.


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## Firemajic (Oct 14, 2014)

The Defenestrator--Thank you!  Not only can you write poetry, but you critique! I also enjoyed reading your work, Thanks again for reading and responding.   Peace...Jul


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## WKSwenson (Oct 17, 2014)

lovely


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## Firemajic (Oct 17, 2014)

WKSwenson---Thank you so much for reading and responding.
Thanks to all who "Liked" Leaving Summer.   Peace...Jul


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## rcallaci (Nov 10, 2014)

firemajic

A stunningly beautiful piece. An ache and a bit of heartbreak at summers end. BTW "blue cobalt sky"  would have worked as well....

my warmest
bob


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## Firemajic (Nov 10, 2014)

Thank you kind Sir!:sunny:Your comments are valued. I am so glad you enjoyed.   Peace...Jul


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## bazz cargo (Nov 10, 2014)

Just chillin to your words.

Kinda feels like dancing leaves leading into the long hard slog of winter. 

Thanks for sharing
BC


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## Alexa29 (Nov 11, 2014)

I really really loved it. You see things in their good side just like me. 
Last week someone told me she has a big depression always when autumm comes because the nature is dead. I said then, I see it like the nature has to sleep also. She is not dead she is going to sleep. She is tired also,just like us. 
And now I read a wonderful very short poem where you see nature dancing. That was really really beautiful. I like positive people.
Keep on doing that!


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## Firemajic (Nov 11, 2014)

bazz cargo said:


> Just chillin to your words.
> 
> Kinda feels like dancing leaves leading into the long hard slog of winter.
> 
> ...





Long hard slog into winter--right, that is why Fall is so melancholy... Thanks for reading and commenting.

Alexa-- Thank you, I am glad that for you--this was a positive poem. I always love seeing my poetry through different eyes...Thanks again and welcome to WF.  Peace...Jul


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