# Expat Life



## DuKane (Dec 1, 2012)

I get asked a lot about living out here in Asia, most people back in other countries are intrigued about the differences and how I’ve come to so easily settle here. Well I just love it and while some things are not to my taste, I accept that this is not my country and move on. But I do have one minor complaint. All of the locals and I do mean all, in practically all Asian countries, have an inbuilt aversion to saying no, or I don’t understand or something similar to any expat. Taxi drivers will always tell you they know exactly where they’re going, and then ten minutes later you’re directing him to your destination.
[FONT=&Verdana]I don’t know why this is the case, Asians are a wonderful, polite, civil lot who do a great deal of smiling despite their situation. They call you ‘Sir’ or Ma’am’ wherever you go and while that was a tad off putting at first, you do actually get used to it. Perhaps it’s in their psyche or it’s actually that they don’t want to offend an expat or their just frankly embarrassed to say no. More often than not they tell you they fully understand when frankly they don’t. So with that little jewel in place I’ll continue.
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Crossing the road! I get asked about this a lot and I've no idea why, I believe it’s something to do with those back in other countries intrigued by the fact that you take your life in your handswhen you cross a road out here, well if you've watched the 'youtube' video of a thousand scooter crashes in Korea you’ll understand much better. 
[FONT=&Verdana]Well, not only are there are traffic lights out here but also pedestrian crossings, at those said traffic lights, that show a countdown in either red or green indicating the time to the next change. However, actually getting from one side of the always busy roads to the other can in itself be a challenge.The crossing just outside our condo is a good case in point as it’s at a particularly busy wide junction and the green light comes on, showing it’s safe for pedestrians to cross, for 5 seconds! Which for any normal person leaves you in slap bang in the middle of the road, unless you’re Usain Bolt?
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[FONT=&Verdana]Now some lights will remain green for pedestrians for as long as 130 secs allowing ample time for you to meander across. But wait, there’s still a small problem in that cars can turn right on red lights out here. In fact as long as they don’t crash into anything else, cars can pretty much do as they please. The old joke here goes, there are plenty of rules, it’s just that everyone chooses to ignore them. So as you’re encouraged to step out onto the road by the green pedestrian countdown numbers,it’s not unusual for a car to turn right straight into you. The fact is that when turning right on a red light, drivers are supposed to give way to anyone crossing. Well that’s just another one of those annoying rules that the populous have decided to ignore!
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[FONT=&Verdana]Communication in a foreign country is always a moot point and as a lazy, old, English speaker, I find myself reverting to the stereotype of shouting louder and louder and gesticulating wildly in a slow kind of Victorian English at a bemused non-English speaking local. Of course I'm lucky because where I currently reside everyone speaks English, except for the taxi drivers,see earlier portion of this story! I can speak about six words of Tagalong including Salamat, [Sah-la-mat], meaning thank you. Adding po to end, ‘Salamat po’ means thank you sir or thank you madam depending on their gender. Locals always smile when I give them a glimpse of the depth of my Tagalong, probably because my pronunciation is appalling and I really shouldn't be giving advice on this subject, well I've been learning English for donkeys years and I still ain't got that right yet!
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[FONT=&Verdana]So with that in mind here’s a little more of the flavour of living in Asia, both true stories. First a teacher working in a Vietnamese school was going on her Christmas holidays. She asked one of the janitors if he wouldn't mind feeding the class turtle ‘Samantha’, while she was away. Neither spoke the others language so this was all achieved, once again, with much gesticulation and arm waving, that included the teacher pretending to feed herself with an imaginary spoon and then doing the same and pointing to the said Samantha the turtle. On her arrival back at the school in the New Year there was no sign of ‘Samantha’ and so she was left to cope with a distraught class of young children missing their class pet. Further investigations revealed that the janitor believed that she meant to give him ‘Samantha’ for his Christmas dinner and so had promptly eaten the said turtle. Worse was to follow when it was found that the same janitor had almost the exact same conversation, or not, with another teacher, the result of which was that he’d also eaten ‘Derek’another class turtle!
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Another expat family, wife and two kids, came to Asia to join their already working husband/father, can’t remember the country. Well they were wandering around a market and came across a stall with puppies in cages. You can guess the rest, the kids began badgering as only kids know how to, the result of which was the parents giving in to them and purchasing a little cute puppy for each child. They asked the stall holder if they could pick them up later, no problem says the stall holder, so they headed off to continue with their meanderings around the market. On their return to the stall with excited children eager to meet their own new puppies, they were presented with two carrier bags! Puppies having been skinned and chopped! No mention of how the kids felt.


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## Gumby (Dec 2, 2012)

I enjoyed this glimpse into your life. I can't imagine actually living somewhere that is so different, in so many ways. That story about the puppies is kind of horrifying, can't imagine the way that family felt! Eeeeuuuwww!


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## DuKane (Dec 9, 2012)

Thanks, being so different is one of the main reasons we've come to settle here so quickly. I find a lot thats very pythonesque, the majority coming from the expats of which there are so many different nationalities, rather than the locals who take everything in their stride still smiling away.
Both the puppies and the turtle story are true, even if they happened a few years ago. Little reticent to include any of the many many other more recent tales as most involve the uber-rich and they are more than a little litigious in their outlook.

Might include some thing about the mad busses or the getting a driving license story, our friends who came with us only had a UK provisional one. But after much drug testing and sight checking and the we all left the place with brand new filipino driving licenses!

Actually thinking about it I should have posted this in the non-fiction section! Ahh well.


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## ZDavid (Dec 20, 2012)

Though I see that you asked the mods to delete because of possible double posting, or posting in the wrong section, it doesn't appear that you asked for the crits to stop. I thought I'd comment on this now and if it gets moved then I assume my post will move with it. 

I enjoyed parts of this a lot, but I think it still has a way to go. I think you have a very easy style though, very much like listening to a story. The topic is interesting to me, as well.

One of the biggest things I think you need to do is go over this with a fine-toothed comb for grammar and flow. There are a number of run-on sentences but they don't appear to be intentional or a stylistic choice, and if they are I think you need to make that more clear. For example: "I don't know why this is the case, Asians are a polite, civil lot who [FONT=&Verdana]who do a great deal of smiling despite their situation." This would read better as "I don't know why this is the case. Asians are a polite, civil lot who do a great deal of smiling despite their situation." You could also consider a semicolon after "case" instead of a period. As a side note, I think you should reconsider the use of the word "despite" there. The way it sounds now, it's like you're saying that Asians smile a lot despite their situation _of being Asian _and I'm sure that's not what you mean. Consider changing it to "regardless of the situation they may find themselves in," or maybe "do a great deal of smiling even in the worst of situations." Something along those lines would make more sense IMO. 

On the same not as above, take a good look at some of your punctuation. I won't go through it line-by-line, but there are a lot of unnecessary commas and some places where you need one but don't have it. Also, you start a lot of phrases with the word "well". [/FONT]It's okay to use it sometimes, but you've done it so much it started sticking out to me. For example:



			
				DuKane said:
			
		

> I get asked  about this a lot and I've no idea why, I believe it’s something to do  with those back in other countries intrigued by the fact that you take  your life in your hands when you cross a road out here, *well* if you've  watched the 'youtube' video of a thousand scooter crashes in Korea  you’ll understand much better.
> *Well*, not only  are there are traffic lights out here but also pedestrian crossings, at  those said traffic lights, that show a countdown in either red or green  indicating the time to the next change.



See what I mean? 

So besides the grammar and punctuation and just cleaning up a few places you repeat the same words and phrases, I think this is a really good place to start. It's charming, interesting, and for a lot of us gives us a glimpse into a culture we may not be familiar with. Keep it up and let me know if there's anything else I can do to help!


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## Lewdog (Dec 20, 2012)

I used to be on a sports board where one of the team's fans lived and taught in Japan.  He was American.  He sent us a picture of a type of Asian toilet that was flat on the ground.  Yes, flat on the ground, even when you have to go #2.  He said it is very difficult and not meant for big fat guys at all.

So to set the scene, your plane just touched down in Tokyo 2 hours ago and you haven't dropped off your luggage at the hotel and left to get something to eat.  The meal was awesome, but something just didn't sit well with you at all.  Your stomach is doing barrel rolls and you know it's time.  You go running into the closest restroom to find...




What do you do?


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## DuKane (Jan 9, 2013)

ZDavid said:


> Though I see that you asked the mods to delete because of possible double posting, or posting in the wrong section, it doesn't appear that you asked for the crits to stop. I thought I'd comment on this now and if it gets moved then I assume my post will move with it.
> I enjoyed parts of this a lot, but I think it still has a way to go. I think you have a very easy style though, very much like listening to a story. The topic is interesting to me, as well.
> One of the biggest things I think you need to do is go over this with a fine-toothed comb for grammar and flow. There are a number of run-on sentences but they don't appear to be intentional or a stylistic choice, and if they are I think you need to make that more clear. For example: "I don't know why this is the case, Asians are a polite, civil lot who [FONT=&Verdana]who do a great deal of smiling despite their situation." This would read better as "I don't know why this is the case. Asians are a polite, civil lot who do a great deal of smiling despite their situation." You could also consider a semicolon after "case" instead of a period. As a side note, I think you should reconsider the use of the word "despite" there. The way it sounds now, it's like you're saying that Asians smile a lot despite their situation _of being Asian _and I'm sure that's not what you mean. Consider changing it to "regardless of the situation they may find themselves in," or maybe "do a great deal of smiling even in the worst of situations." Something along those lines would make more sense IMO.
> [/FONT]So besides the grammar and punctuation and just cleaning up a few places you repeat the same words and phrases, I think this is a really good place to start. It's charming, interesting, and for a lot of us gives us a glimpse into a culture we may not be familiar with. Keep it up and let me know if there's anything else I can do to help!



Wow, thanks for such a detailed critique, the vast majority of which I totally agree with. I don't know why but I struggle to write factual pieces, lapsing into tell and not showing, hence all of the 'well's'. The smiling Asians sentence was meant as a reference to the poorest being the ones who smile most despite being poor, unlike many other Asian cultures out here, Japanese, Korean, Taiwanese and now Chinese all of whom are very rich by comparision. I presume its because they don't don't have the base English language and why most Filipino's say they prefer English, American and Aussies. Though I suspect they say the same thing to each nationality! i can see it does need tidying and I do have many more stories, but I feel that I will write them once we've moved on, maybe reflection piece(s).
But thanks, your critique has been noted and I will continue to improve.


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## DuKane (Jan 9, 2013)

Lewdog said:


> I used to be on a sports board where one of the team's fans lived and taught in Japan.  He was American.  He sent us a picture of a type of Asian toilet that was flat on the ground.  Yes, flat on the ground, even when you have to go #2.  He said it is very difficult and not meant for big fat guys at all.
> 
> So to set the scene, your plane just touched down in Tokyo 2 hours ago and you haven't dropped off your luggage at the hotel and left to get something to eat.  The meal was awesome, but something just didn't sit well with you at all.  Your stomach is doing barrel rolls and you know it's time.  You go running into the closest restroom to find...
> 
> ...



Ha ha, you photo immediately reminded me of a school friends father who worked at Ford's in Langley, nr Slough many many years ago. He explained that many of their toilets were very similar, foot holes in the floor and squat! The Phils is a little more westernised, as the locals will tell you, they've had four hundred years in the church, [Spanish rule], and one hundred years of Hollywood, [American rule]. So I have yet to come across anything like your photo! I thought that the Japanese, these days, had those super dooper computer controlled loo's, [restrooms], that actually hose you down when you finish!


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## Circle (Jan 12, 2013)

Great post!  I really like the part about the animals--the turtles especially hahaha.  I was going to leave the critique to another day as it is Friday night and I'm off-duty, however I made a start anyway.

_I get asked a lot about living out here in Asia,. mMost people back in other countries are intrigued about the differences and how I’ve come to so easily settle here. Well I just love it and while some things are not to my taste, I accept that this is not my country and move on. But I do have one minor complaint.: All of the locals and I do mean all, in practically all Asian countries, have an inbuilt aversion to saying "no", or "I don’t understand" or something anything similar, to any expat. Taxi drivers will always tell you they know exactly where they’re going, and then ten minutes later you’re redirecting him them __to your destination._

I used colours just to make it easier to critique even though that can seem a little bit "absolute".  Some of the suggested changes I consider to be a question simply of writing style, others however grammatical and therefore essential.


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## garza (Jan 13, 2013)

Having lived in Asia off and on for a good many years, and having spent more than half of my 72 years away from the country where I was born, I fear I cannot sympathise with your failure to assimilate. Finding your own niche in a country, even if you plan to be there less than a year, begins with learning enough of the language to carry on basic, everyday conversations. It's not that difficult. As you learn the language you must adapt yourself completely to local custom. Learn to live in the same way a child does, by watching and listening to know what is the right way to conduct yourself. There was a period of time when I was traveling between Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam. As each border was crossed, my cultural references had to be reset the same as resetting my watch to a different time zone. There was a six month stay in the Philippines. After one month I was speaking, reading, and writing Tagalog well enough to get around with little problem, continuing, of course, to learn the language better every day. That's also where I started learning to use Spanish as a second language almost on par with English.

Here in Belize I live in a predominantly Mestizo town where English is useful but not essential. Often there are a few days or a week spent in a Mayan or Garifuna village in the South, or in a Creole village in the Belize River Valley. Every place is different, with its own language and everyday customs. 

When I visit friends in Valle de Paz in the Cayo District I revert to the Salvadoran Spanish and cultural habits I learned covering the Civil War in El Salvador. When I first came to Belize I lived for four years in a neighbourhood in Belize City dominated by the Creole Kelly Street Gang, reputed to be the toughest gang on the North Side. I didn't become a gangster, but I did become their friend. They had my back, and in the streets of Belize City, even then, that saved me a few times.

Treat every place as home, and make the culture of the people your culture for as long as you are there.


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## Brock (Jan 14, 2013)

First of all, I would like to say that I thoroughly enjoyed this story.

Regarding Asians "inbuilt aversion to saying no":  I have had a lot of experience interacting with Asian Americans that come from Japan, Thailand, Laos, China, Philippines, ect.  One thing that they all seem to have in common (especially the Japanese) is that they really go out of their way to avoid all forms of conflict.  I currently work for the Japanese, and there is NEVER verbal conflict between them and the workers.  Any type of disciplinary action is enforced by an American worker in management.  This avoidance of conflict may have something to do with their aversion to the word 'no.'  I wish that more people here in the U.S. were a little more like this.

Regarding the story:  As I said, I really enjoyed it, but the majority of it could really use some cleaning up.

I'll pick one of your sentences for an example:  _ They asked the stall holder if they could pick them up later, no problem says the stall holder, so they headed off to continue with their meanderings around the market.
_
They asked the stall holder if they could pick them up later.  "No problem," said the stall holder.  So they headed off to continue with their meanderings around the market.

I loved the content.  Just work on your editing.


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## Lewdog (Jan 14, 2013)

Here is an interesting tid bit for you.  In Bulgaria if you shake your head up and down, that means no, and side to side means yes.  Its the opposite of the rest of the world.  I can't tell you how much of a pain in the butt that was to get used to.  Also when I was in Bulgaria, you had to pay to use the bathroom, and if you wanted toilet paper that was extra, and yes a paper towel to dry your hands was even more.


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