# What do you think of this tracking device scenario for my story?



## ironpony (Feb 10, 2019)

For my story, I wanted the main character to follow the villains around with a tracking device planted on the main villain's car, so they wouldn't know they are being followed. The villains have been going around committing a series of kidnapping crimes, and the main character wants to catch them and see if they are the guys.

I was told in order for the main character to get his own tracking device, that he should just use the ones you buy, in which you can plant on a car, which are sold under the marketing idea to see if your spouse is cheating on you, like the one Hank used on Breaking Bad.

However, the thing about those devices, is that they do not transmit a live feed.  You have to take if off the car afterwards and see where the person went.  I want the main character to find out where the villains next kidnapping is going to be.  So if he cannot find out by witnessing it live, he will have to find out where the place is going to be.  So out of all the places the villain visits, like in a week, is it possible for the main character to guess where the next kidnapping spot is going to be without the main character having to visit them all and have to wait around at each place forever, trying to wait for the villains to show up and kidnap someone?   Cause that will take a lot of waiting and trial and error for each place.

I thought I could write it so the main character sees that the villain visited a certain place on the tracking device, goes there at night, thinking the kidnapping will be a night... and then he waits around and then the villains show up to kidnap someone they will know will be in that place at that time, and the main character has then caught them in the act, and knows he has the right people.

Or is this too convenient do you think, that he guessed this would be the kidnapping spot, and then it turns out it was it, and he came the exact night they were going to do it?   Too coincidental do you think maybe?


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## Hill.T.Manner (Feb 10, 2019)

I'm not putting anything constructive here, you're doing it again. You're asking people for an opinion before you've written anything. Just. Write. It. and when you're ready for someone to review it they'll let you know what works and what doesn't.


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## ironpony (Feb 10, 2019)

Oh okay thanks, but why does everything have to be written to be understood?  Why can't I explain part of the plot and the plot can still be understood just be explaining it?  For example, when I explain parts of the plot to other people they understand it, and do not need to see it written in full, so I just don't get why it's so hard to understand that people need to see it explained in every detail.

I mean other people explain their synopses on here, and people are still able to understand what is going on, and do not need to see an entire story written out, so what is wrong with just explaining through a brief description, when the description still makes sense to people?


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## Guard Dog (Feb 10, 2019)

Because with you, it's always the same thing... the near-constant need for someone to 'hold your hand' or to approve of what you're doing.

Like you, I only have one story to ask people about and to get advice on. But unlike you, I don't need or want anyone's approval for every single word of it, or every idea/plot point.

I've posted several different portions of it, here and there on this forum, but I'm always looking for or at something different when I do, or opinions on _different aspects_ of the story.

I've written over 365,000 words of my WIP in the last several months... But if I went about things the way you seem intent on, I don't know that I'd have written the first word.

Sorry, but you very much abuse the privilege, when it comes to asking for help and/or advice.

That's just how it is.


G.D.


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## ironpony (Feb 10, 2019)

Oh okay sorry if I am doing that.  Here is how I wrote it so far, if this is better:



EXT. PARK -- DAY

Chalmers is having a picnic with his family, and Guy observes with binoculars.  He sneaks over Chalmers' car, and cannot be seen.  He plants a tracking device under the car, and sneaks away, back to his car to observe...


EXT. CHALMERS' BUILDING -- DAYS LATER

Chalmers pulls up in his car to his work, and goes in the building.  Guy pulls up his in his car, parks across the street, and gets out.  He heads across the street into the parking lot and removes the tracking device from Chalmers' car.  


INT. GUY'S PLACE -- DAY

Guy plugs the tracking device into his computer and it reveals on screen, all the places Chalmers' has been to since.  He sees one place in particular that catches his eye.


EXT. SELF-STORAGE FACILITY -- DUSK

Guy drives up and parks his car, hidden away.  He gets out and looks at his phone to walk over to the exact GPS coordinates of where Chalmers' was.  He looks around, and doesn't see anything peculiar.  He goes back to his car, sits inside, and waits.


EXT. SELF-STORAGE FACILITY -- NIGHT -- LATER

Guy is still waiting and almost dozes off. He hears a noise and wakes up.  He hears cars pull up closer to the facility.  He can see two men waiting in one of the cars.  

Kinnaman pulls up close to behind them and is observing them as well Chalmers as well from a distance.

Guy looks through his binoculars and see that they have masks on.  He hears noises coming from the facility.

A woman is leaving the self-storage facility who appears to have been working there, and is now leaving.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Does it make sense, or is it too coincidental or too convenient, that Guy picked the exact place on the map where the next kidnapping was going to happen?


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## Hill.T.Manner (Feb 10, 2019)

Write. Your. Script/Work/Novel/Whatever

When you've completed a Substantial portion of it and need feedback then ask. Don't throw out tiny portion and ask for feedback on it. Nobody here will, or should, do the work for you.


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## ironpony (Feb 10, 2019)

Oh okay, I mean I could post the entire screenplay, but I didn't think that people on here would want to read a whole screenplay at once.


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## Terry D (Feb 11, 2019)

Here's what irritates other members, ironpony. You ask questions that are easy to answer on your own. Questions you should be asking yourself first and figuring out the answers to. For instance, I read your OP here and went to Google and typed in 'live GPS tracking devices' and found this on the first page (I could have done the same thing at Amazon's home page). Here's a real time magnetic GPS tracking device:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008YHQX6Q/?tag=writingforu06-20


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## ironpony (Feb 11, 2019)

Oh okay thanks.  But I wasn't asking about tracking devices though.  I was just asking if the scenario wasn't too coincidental or convenient, that's all.


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## Hill.T.Manner (Feb 11, 2019)

That! it's the "Oh okay, but..." there is no but, there is no follow up. Do your own research, if you think it works then go for it. You'll find out later when someone reads it if it works with your overall plot. If you need consistent reassurance that your writing works then you shouldn't be writing.


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## ironpony (Feb 11, 2019)

Hill.T.Manner said:


> That! it's the "Oh okay, but..." there is no but, there is no follow up. Do your own research, if you think it works then go for it. You'll find out later when someone reads it if it works with your overall plot. If you need consistent reassurance that your writing works then you shouldn't be writing.



I already did the research though, and was asking if it works. I did post the scenes as written like I was advised to.


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## Guard Dog (Feb 11, 2019)

Maybe the fact that this whole issue has already been discussed multiple times, and you don't seem to learn anything from it, or that you should be posting it in one of the workshops rather than here?

Could also be that people are just tired of dealing with you, due to you constantly repeating the same behavior, and exhibiting the same habits.

Who knows? I guess you'll just have to figure it out yourself.  *shrug*



G.D.


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## ironpony (Feb 12, 2019)

Okay, well from now on when I want to ask about a section in the plot I can post it directly from the screenplay, in the workshop if that's better.


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## Guard Dog (Feb 12, 2019)

You've been told what the problem is, and you've been told how to correct it.

If you can't find your way to do that, it's on you and no one else.

No one here is required to hold your hand or lead you to it.

All anybody can do is give you the information, to the best of their ability.

YOU are the one that has to make it work for you.

And if you just don't have the ability to do that, for whatever reason... it's not anyone else's place to keep you afloat, and make sure you get where you want to be.

So stand on your own two feet, and quit leaning so hard on everyone else and expecting them to carry you.



G.D.


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## DarkGhost (Feb 12, 2019)

Hey Pony, someone with the know how could probably make one from parts bought at Radio Shack. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist, just consider that for a moment. D.G


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## ironpony (Feb 12, 2019)

Okay thanks, but I wasn't asking about how to make a tracking device or what to use for one.  I was asking if the situation is too coincidential or convenient for the reader as to how the main character locates the next spot for the next kidnapping.


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## Guard Dog (Feb 12, 2019)

ironpony said:


> I was asking...



Yep. And according to the 242 threads I found, that you've started since 2015 - on the same story - that's about all you do.

You don't really contribute anything at all, do ya?

It's all about getting people to answer questions about _your story_ and helping you work it out.

Why do I get the feeling that if I left here right now, and came back 5 years later, you'd still be right where you are, doing the same thing, concerning the same story?




G.D.


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## epimetheus (Feb 12, 2019)

Guard Dog said:


> Yep. And according to the 242 threads I found, that you've started since 2015 - on the same story - that's about all you do.



Got to agree.

Asking technical questions in science and maths fora will only yield a few vague hints towards an answer. It's not that they don't want to be useful, but you really need to work this stuff out for yourself. It's painful, bashing your head against a single problem for weeks sometimes, but figuring it out for yourself actually develops your craft. Seldom are there definitive answers in artistic processes like writing, but the same ethos should apply.


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## moderan (Feb 12, 2019)

ironpony said:


> Okay, well from now on when I want to ask about a section in the plot I can post it directly from the screenplay, in the workshop if that's better.


It's not. Work this stuff out for yourself. Multiple members have indicated that they're tired of doing your legwork for you. STFU already.


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## Plasticweld (Feb 12, 2019)

This says it all. 
A member with 1460 posts,  700 of those asking advice on how to do his work. The other 760 of those, arguing and ignoring those that did take the time to offer their thoughts and opinions.  He has  said, _*Thank you*_, once in the last four years and never _*liked*_  a response in the same four years. 

Is it me or is there a trend here?

ironpony 





Member







Join DateApr 2015Posts1,460LOL (Given)0LOL (Received)11Likes (Given)0Likes (Received)52Thanks (Given)1Thanks (Received)12


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## Sir-KP (Feb 12, 2019)

ironpony said:


> Okay thanks, but I wasn't asking about how to make a tracking device or what to use for one.  I was asking if the situation is too coincidential or convenient for the reader as to how the main character locates the next spot for the next kidnapping.



Imma give you an input.



ironpony said:


> *too coincidential or convenient*



Notice that you've been saying these words multiple times to your 'tracking device' matter. So probably they are and I bet you damn well know they are.

The question is: *what makes you think so? Why did these two keywords appear in your mind when it comes to this tracking device?*

Try reflecting on that.


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## Guard Dog (Feb 12, 2019)

Sir-KP said:


> Try reflecting on that.



He can't reflect, he can only question.

He has no aptitude or ability to do what he claims he wants to accomplish, so he gets other to do it for him.

His learning curve is apparently a flat line.

...or haven't you noticed?



G.D.


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## ironpony (Feb 13, 2019)

Well it's just I want to learn more and get better, but if I cannot post sections of the plot to see if I have improved, how will I know I have improved?  I was told before to not worry about what readers think and just own it, but people choose to own, that is how mistakes are made, cause no one tells them about the mistakes then.


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## Guard Dog (Feb 13, 2019)

'Pony, you aren't going to get any better the way you're going about things.

That's just a fact.

You cannot depend on other people for your answers and learn to be anything but a parasite.

You have to learn to think and process information on your own, and there's absolutely no evidence to support you doing that, or even being willing to do that.



G.D.


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## ironpony (Feb 13, 2019)

Okay thanks, but how do I know if the information I have processed on my own is good though, if I should not ask for opinions?


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## Guard Dog (Feb 13, 2019)

Doesn't matter how many questions you ask, if you can't comprehend or understand the answers.

And that's all you can do, is ask questions.

Good luck. 

You won't be getting anything further from me, or, I suspect, a  great many other people around here.

Four years of this bullshit is way too many.

...and there are no participation trophies in the writing world, just as there aren't in the rest of 'real life'.



G.D.


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## ironpony (Feb 13, 2019)

Well what I could do is post the entire screenplay when finished the next couple of drafts, if that's a good idea, as long as people are okay with reading the entire thing.


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## Olly Buckle (Feb 13, 2019)

> He has said, Thank you, once in the last four years



Be fair, he starts just about every reply 'Okay, thanks, but ...'


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## moderan (Feb 14, 2019)

ironpony said:


> Well what I could do is post the entire screenplay when finished the next couple of drafts, if that's a good idea, as long as people are okay with reading the entire thing.


I doubt anybody cares any more, but sure. Give it a shot.


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## luckyscars (Feb 15, 2019)

ironpony said:


> Well what I could do is post the entire screenplay when finished the next couple of drafts, if that's a good idea, as long as people are okay with reading the entire thing.



Please do. I'll read it and critique it if I have anything worth saying.


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## ironpony (Feb 18, 2019)

Okay thanks.  The only thing is, is that when I copy and paste the script into here, the formatting is completely lost and it all looks very sloppy.  And do that for an entire feature length script would be tough for people to read.  Is there any way to post the script, that can retain the proper format, so it's not all sloppy for people?


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## Phil Istine (Feb 18, 2019)

ironpony said:


> Okay thanks.  The only thing is, is that when I copy and paste the script into here, the formatting is completely lost and it all looks very sloppy.  And do that for an entire feature length script would be tough for people to read.  Is there any way to post the script, that can retain the proper format, so it's not all sloppy for people?



Select the 'go advanced' button on the bottom right then paste it in.  Then select 'preview post' and make any formatting changes before selecting 'submit'.

You might have to make quite a few changes before submitting, but it could be worth it if you gain valuable feedback.


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## ironpony (Feb 19, 2019)

Okay thanks, I'll try that next time, thanks!


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