# My Love



## jenthepen (Mar 23, 2017)

I wrote this poem for LeeC to a prompt that he suggested.


My love’s hair is coloured green, her eyes a brilliant blue,
she lives and breathes beside life’s lake, paints flowers with their hue.
She guides the ways of all the world, with rules that she designed,
so do not try to thwart her path because her love is blind.

In all that swims or crawls or flies you’ll find her scented breath,
sustaining life’s allotted time, recycling all in death.
Her compass spans the continents with all their myriad ways
and cradles all within her love until the end of days.


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## sas (Mar 23, 2017)

Few do this better. Applause.


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## escorial (Mar 23, 2017)

Romantic stuff...cool


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## ned (Mar 25, 2017)

hello - an ode to mother nature? - works well on that level for me.

just needs a little tweaking, I think.

in the opening, perhaps something more descriptive than coloured and brilliant -
an opportunity for some imagery of nature.

life's lake - is a bit mysterious.

...the continents with all their myriad ways = ...the continents in all their myriad ways 

like the simple rhyming, and concepts here.
Ned


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## nelen (Mar 26, 2017)

What a lovely love poem to nature. How ever  I feel you could have used more imagination picking the words, as well as the imagination of the concept. I am not a fan of the ti-da-da-tj-da rythm, but that is only personal choice.


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## Bard_Daniel (Mar 28, 2017)

Great poem Jen. Definitely enjoyed! : D


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## Gofa (Mar 29, 2017)

Well done you


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## Firemajic (Mar 29, 2017)

jenthepen said:


> I wrote this poem for LeeC to a prompt that he suggested.
> 
> 
> My love’s hair is coloured green, her eyes a brilliant blue,
> ...




Mother Nature must be smiling.... this is lovely... death is part of life, and I love the way you worked it into the lines of this elegant, gentle poem... the rhythm is like a cascading waterfall...


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## CrimsonAngel223 (Mar 29, 2017)

Good job! Love the message, sweet poem!


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## jenthepen (Mar 29, 2017)

Thanks everyone. I wanted to write this to the message that Lee has spent so much time explaining and promoting. I tried to keep the story plain and unhidden by too much imagery - just the way nature works. I was happy that Lee was pleased with the result and I wouldn't want to make too many changes for that reason but I'm grateful for the suggestions made and wouldn't argue against any of them except for the fact, as I say, that this one is for Lee.


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## mark_schaeffer (Mar 30, 2017)

Where's the kick ass part?


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## jenthepen (Mar 30, 2017)

Nature seems to be supplying that aspect.


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## LeeC (Mar 31, 2017)

To me, the skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think [Edwin Schlossberg quote], whether prose or poetry, without obscuring the idea with clever language. If one wants to bask in the melody of language without seriously thinking about what is being conveyed, there's a good deal of such writing. In simply being enjoyable, it serves it's purpose.

Given a difficult prompt, I see Jen's effort as exceptional. I've posted this on social media a few times so far, and combined it's been shared thousands of times. It surpassed my, umm poem, Rat's Ass, and is closing in on my most popular post. That being Jen's Ode To Winter. To me that says a good deal about what the average person likes, and that's who I'm trying to get to think about the mess our avaricious culture is leaving our children.

My hat's off to you Jen, for gifting me this beautiful, easily understood, and potentially thought provoking piece. 



PS: My daughter, the Harvard published snob  thought it was quite good also.


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## jenthepen (Mar 31, 2017)

Thank you so much, Lee. Your kindness and support means more than you could know.

And hey, being rated as quite good by a published Harvard graduate sounds okay to me. :tickled_pink:


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## queenie (Apr 4, 2017)

Beautiful. I think plain can be good.


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