# The "Customer from Hell" story sharing thread!



## InnerFlame00 (Sep 28, 2015)

Retail workers, or service workers in general: Let us commiserate! Tell me about the worst customer you ever served, or the most stupid thing you've seen a customer do.

I'm not sure what it is, but there is something that happens to a person when they walk into a store. They stop being a person...and become....a CUSTOMER *cue dramatic scary music* A person who has little to no rhyme, reason, or sense of propriety.

I've had:

-Someone try to tell me that air pockets in the bread means it's not done to get the bread free. Uhhh lady you do know what yeast does, right?

-People insist that they want 'that' bread when literally 'that' bread is identical to every other bread except they're ALL THE SAME.

-A lady asked if any of our products were gluten free and I informed her that no, all of our products contain flour. She said, 'oh flour is fine, I just can't have GLUTEN'. Is it really so much of a buzz word now that people don't know what gluten actually is?

-An elderly woman ask me to wipe off a bit of doughnut glaze on her box that was literally the size of a pea because it would, and I quote, "Get ALL over the place"

I'll remember more later, I'm sure. Anyhow, share your stories! Gripe with me! Lets all have a good laugh in an effort to stay sane.


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## Phil Istine (Sep 29, 2015)

I have quite a few regular customers as I turn up every few weeks to wash their windows with one of those purified water pole systems.  The beauty of this is that if someone stretches my tolerance levels a few times, I can just find a replacement customer, and the same for them if I'm not deemed to be suitable for their requirements.
I have garnered a reasonable income this way for a quarter of a century and it's much better than working.  It has put me in touch with the best and worst of human nature, and I have met highly intelligent people and some who struggle with fairly basic things.
When I first switched from shinning up a ladder to a safer, speedier method, I had some very strange conversations.

CUSTOMER:  But what about all that water running down my (brick) walls.
ME:  I don't understand.  Why would that be a problem?
CUSTOMER:  Well, my walls will get wet.
ME:  But that's no different from when it rains.
CUSTOMER:  I don't like this.  I'm cancelling.
I get around the corner, out of sight, and punch the air with delight.  Got rid of that one at last.  Should have done this years ago.
--------

ANOTHER CUSTOMER:  Aren't you going to dry off the windows?
ME:  No.  It's not necessary.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER:  But surely the water will dry spotty and smeary.
ME:  Not at all.  The water is de-ionised, totally pure.  Tap water would dry like that but that's only because of the contaminants in it.  I take the contaminants out before cleaning.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER:  I would much rather you went up a ladder.  I feel as if I'm getting my money's worth that way.
ME:  But that's the point of me working this way.  The safety laws have changed.  You are asking me to break the law and put myself at unnecessary risk.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER:  Call yourself a window cleaner?
ME:  Yes, I do actually, and one that is still alive and uninjured.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER:  But it takes you a lot less time now.  You should reduce your price.
ME:  But the equipment and running costs are a lot more expensive this way.  That means that the shorter time required is balanced by my other expenses.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER:  I feel like I'm being conned.
ME:  I didn't spend thousands of pounds on equipment and a larger van just to annoy my customers.  I could annoy them without spending a penny.
ANOTHER CUSTOMER:  Fred Blogs'll do it for a fiver and he goes up a ladder.
ME:  Well phone him then.

and so it goes on.
Most of my customers are fine, but sometimes, just sometimes ...


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Sep 29, 2015)

My first job was at a dollar general. A woman bought two plastic bottles for both of her children. 99 cents each, along with some other stuff. I bagged them, and off they went. 

She returned later swearing up down and sideways that we didn't give her the second one. 

We explained that we have *CAMERAS*, I DID bag them. She still called the higher-ups. 

My manager just shook his head. "I guarantee one of her kids just lost the other one." He said.


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## Deleted member 56686 (Sep 29, 2015)

Gee where do you want me to start? :lol:

I guess the worst customer I had was this lady who was clearly in a bad mood, She was irritable pretty much the entire time I was ringing her groceries. I should mention that I was working for a large supermarket at the time. Anyway, we get to the end and she gives me her coupons. Now usually, I go through them routinely not thinking much about it, but this time I was noticing that just about every one of them were expired. She asked me if I was going to check every one of the coupons and I told her, "I guess I better."

"Well, I don't appreciate it at all." She started to go ballistic. Here was this woman who was potentially trying to get over on me, and certainly putting my job on the line. It is so bad that I have to call for help.

Okay, well here's the punchline. When it's time to pay for her groceries, she pays by check (yes, this was when dinosaurs existed). Now the companies have a special employee card that can be used to make transactions a little quicker. And guess what? Her husband worked for the supermarket (It turns out he was a truck driver). And I thought to myself, 'Oh my God, her husband works for this company and she has to give me an irrational rash of crap?' I was pissed for days.

A couple weeks later she returns with her husband this time friendly as Casper. She acts as if nothing in the world had happened. Go figure.

Anyway that tops my "customer from Hell" list.


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## Phil Istine (Sep 29, 2015)

Thank you for the reminder of why I've been self-employed for so long:

Bad customer = ex customer


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## Ariel (Sep 29, 2015)

Back when I worked at the video store we had an adult section (for which you _had_ to be 18 to enter).  Because of our adult section and various other laws you had to be 18 to get a membership card.  We had two kind of strange policies. The first was overnight rentals--rent a movie at $3 and bring it back the next day with the receipt and you could get just over $1 back. The second was that if you wanted to rent movies but not get a membership we would allow that with a $20 refundable rental fee on each movie.

One evening this girl and about three boys came in.  They were 16-17 years old.  I chased them out of the adult section.  They kept hovering by the "Faces of Death" videos (which had a $20 deposit fee to rent no matter who you were), and they kept asking me what the prices were.  They finally decided to rent the a "Faces of Death" video.  They didn't have an account.  Their parents didn't have an account.

So the girl calls up her father and asks for the money to rent this video (which came up to $40+ for one video).  They take the movie, pay me, and leave.

The next day was very busy.  I had a line of customers at the register that wound around he store.  I worked pretty quickly so that wasn't a problem.  Then this one man comes up with a receipt and a video.  It was the girl's father.  He demands his money back.  I ask for the reciept--which he hands over.  I give him what I can refund according to store policy and turn to the next customer.

This man elbows my customer out of the way and proceeds to verbally abuse me, yelling at the top of his lungs.  I explain, again, that I'm following store policy and that if he has an issue he can call my boss.  I take the videos my customer wants to rent and start to turn to retrieve those for the new customer.  He reaches out (over the counter) to grab my arm.  I said, "please don't touch me." And got the videos.

I come back to the counter and he's still there and he starts yelling again.  A group of about ten regular customers start yelling back telling the guy to never come back.  They all stood up for me and told the guy that I was just doing my job and that he was being an asshole.

It was the worst customer I'd ever dealt with and the best feeling I'd ever had in customer service.


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## Plasticweld (Sep 29, 2015)

When I owned a company that painted motorcycles we ran into all sorts of very fussy customers.  We repaired broken plastic and dented gas tanks.  I had a simple quote system, we repaired to make look "almost like new" for half the cost of a  new part.  We were in business for 12 years and had a ton of very satisfied customers and some that no matter what you did that were never going to be happy. 


I took me awhile to learn that some personalities are not happy unless they can complain.  We came to call these customers the 3 percent club, and did our best to get rid of them.  I found that you can spend most of your time trying to please those 3 percent that are never going to be happy or pay better attention to the other 97 percent and be able to do it with a smile. 

After one frustrating bout with a customer I finally changed our web site in the *"*_about us section" 
_
*If you are the kind of customer that is not happy unless they send their food back to the kitchen whenever you eat out? if so,  we recommend that you keep looking for another vender. *We spit in the food just as they do. 


It made me feel better and there has to be some advantages to being the owner.


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## TJ1985 (Sep 29, 2015)

Plasticweld said:


> *If you are the kind of customer that is not happy unless they send their food back to the kitchen whenever you eat out? if so,  we recommend that you keep looking for another vender. *We spit in the food just as they do.



I've never understood that. Somebody standing there at the counter giving the poor kid a rough day, and this kid is fixing your FOOD... I've literally seen a pair of fast food workers look at each other as if to silently say "Okay, while I'm spitting in his food and rubbing my ass on his cheese, you go key his car." Never upset the person who prepares your food, gives you sex, or helps you when you're sick. It's a simple policy... 

I had a magnetic decal on my truck "Freelance handyman, no job too big, no job too small, hard work welcome" and my phone number. This lady didn't want to pay me... "Your truck said freelance, I thought that meant you didn't charge." I paused a moment and then realized the perfect solution. "Ma'am, that's only for lancing work because I love it so much. Everything else is on a payin' basis." Needless to say, I got that stupid decal off my truck ASAP. It's sad when your affordable marketing methods only attract people who keep washing their frilly unmentionables in the gene pool...


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## Phil Istine (Sep 29, 2015)

I once knew someone called Jean Poole (I kid you not), but to go there would be off topic I suppose


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## midnightpoet (Sep 29, 2015)

My first job was in retail - as a bag boy in a supermarket.  1960, I was paid a whopping $.75/hr.  Don't ever remember customer problems, but it was a small town, customers were neighbors and everyone knew everyone.  I have to wonder if that's part of the problem - we've become such a mobile society and stress levels are higher than ever.  

I suppose you would call me a professional customer - over 30 years in Purchasing.  I did have internal customers, but my main problem was salesmen.  If I didn't give them business (I usually had a good reason) they went to top management.  

I always try to be courteous to retail people though, they are not usually paid much, aren't trained properly, and often aren't the real problem.


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## walker (Sep 29, 2015)

Phil Istine said:


> Thank you for the reminder of why I've been self-employed for so long:
> 
> Bad customer = ex customer



I had a boss once at a pizza place who would run anybody that gave me a hard time out the door. The boss yelled at me all day long, but he wouldn't let the customers do it. He usually had a knife in his hand, behind the counter, and he'd wave it while he was talking. He'd say, "No give the Bobby hard time. You leave! No need the business!" True story.

I tried to remember a good bad customer story, but I can't, despite many years spent working in retail. Must be my memory protecting me.


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## Darkkin (Sep 29, 2015)

Back when I started, I was alphabetising titles on a lower shelf, sitting pretzel style in order to do so when a 'customer' walked over and kicked me in the hip with a steel toed boot.  I was 'in the way' he explained.  Didn't say anything, just took the swing.  I ended up with a bruised femur head from the impact...


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## Ariel (Sep 29, 2015)

That's assault, Darkkin.


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## InnerFlame00 (Sep 29, 2015)

Another thing that bothers the hell out of me is when people complain about price or try to haggle with me. I'm like, in what universe do you think that we, the minions, have control over pricing? Even the managers don't control that.


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## Darkkin (Sep 29, 2015)

The folks who treat you like the library...sigh, no we do not have a computer for you to research cognitive behavior therapies for you son's psychology report.  No, we do not have a copy machine.  No, you cannot leave your child here unattended.  Yes, you have to put down the cell phone and acknowledge the presence of another human being...And no, just because you go in the wrong way and shove to the front of the line does not mean I am going to drop everything to give you my undivided attention.


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## dale (Sep 29, 2015)

this isn't retail, but it's basically the same thing. i build decks, and i get this homeowner and i'm building this
deck for him and i already got it 1/2 way done. and he comes out and tells me the lumber has knots in it and he wants "knot-free wood". and in my mind i'm wanting to smart off...'well, you're in luck sir...this wood is "not free" you gotta pay for the shit.".....but instead i just calmly explain to him that deck lumber is made of pine and cedar, and those trees branch from the bottom up, and so it's impossible to have "knot-free" wood on a deck. but this rich moron doesn't comprehend and starts pointing out all these planks and boards he wants replaced, and i'm just staring at this moron, sincerely wanting to bash him over the head with a knotty 2x4. it took me 4 days to build a deck that should have been done in 10 hours.
i was shitty.


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## InnerFlame00 (Sep 29, 2015)

Darkkin said:


> The folks who treat you like the library...sigh, no we do not have a computer for you to research cognitive behavior therapies for you son's psychology report.  No, we do not have a copy machine.  No, you cannot leave your child here unattended.  Yes, you have to put down the cell phone and acknowledge the presence of another human being...



OMG YES. The cell phone thing bothers me. I feel like if they can't treat me like a human being then I shouldn't have to serve them. Or the people who look right at you when you say "can I help you" but pretend you don't exist. Good luck getting service later a**wipe. I'm gonna pretend you don't exist.


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## Darkkin (Sep 29, 2015)

A golden oldie form Christmas last year: (Some language)

Best customer of the season:  An individual approaches my  register yammering nineteen to the dozen on a cell phone.  Tosses the  items on the counter.
 Me: (Insert first 3 seconds of the holiday litany)...A hand goes up in my face.
 Holiday Cheer:  Shut up, I'm on the phone...
 Me: Remaining silent...(thinking: No shit, Sherlock!).  Gets items scanned and bagged...
 Holiday Cheer, still yelling in the phone is repeatedly sliding card through the machine...(I have yet to press  the total button.). Holiday Cheer keeps sliding the card.  Finally,  Holiday Cheer stops yelling into the cell phone:  Why isn't this  working?
 I hit total.
 Holiday Cheer goes back to yelling in the  cell phone.  Slip prints.  I set the copy needing signing on the counter  with a pen.  Holiday Cheer is still trying to sign on the machine.  I  gesture toward the pen.  Holiday Cheer snarls nose and slams phone on  counter:  Seriously?!  I have to sign?
 I nod, smiling: Yes.  
 I hand over the bag smiling politely:  Enjoy your day...

 The gentleman behind Holiday Cheer was a nice and polite as could be.

And a little bit of a counterpoint, it is surprising how many customers will actually comment on another individual's behavior, pointing out the glaring rudeness.  The guilt principle in action, and it works, too.  It is people like that who can turn an entire day around.


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## Gumby (Sep 29, 2015)

When I was 18, I got my first job working at McDonald's. One day two guys came in who were obviously 'three sheets to the wind.' The one kept saying how 'cute', etc. he thought I was and stupid drunken things like that, I still remember how creepy his eyes made me feel, at the time. It was so uncomfortable a feeling and he took forever to give me his order and just kept staring and saying stupid things and asking me inappropriate questions. I kept trying to ignore them and just get his order. Being young and inexperienced with this type of person or situation, not to mention painfully shy, I put up with it and just got through it as quickly as I could. I often think of how I wish I had the life experience then, that I have now and how differently I would handle it if I could go back and do it all over again.


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## Ariel (Sep 29, 2015)

I used to get asked if I made any of the adult videos that were at the video store.


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## dale (Sep 29, 2015)

lol. it amuses me the differences between men and women when it comes to sexist type crap. i'm generally
very flattered when i experience what could be called "sexual harrassment" by women. not that it happens often, but when it does, it puts a smile on my face. even if they're unattractive to me.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Sep 29, 2015)

I would get asked by customers all the time if I was looking for a girlfriend. 

"Noooooo...." I would say. "Well why not?"

"...Because they're psychopaths."


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## Darkkin (Sep 29, 2015)

Automatically having your intelligence considered sub par simply because you work retail...No, you don't have to keep repeating yourself, I heard you the first time, but I am not google, I don't have an instant answer.  No, I cannot instantly conjure the title you were looking for when all you know about it was that it is a book, with words...I don't speak mumble, please use your words, we are here to help, not hinder.  Yes, I do know how to spell Mediterranean and inconvenience, but I have to google spellings of Youtubers.


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## Ariel (Sep 29, 2015)

dale said:


> lol. it amuses me the differences between men and women when it comes to sexist type crap. i'm generally
> very flattered when i experience what could be called "sexual harrassment" by women. not that it happens often, but when it does, it puts a smile on my face. even if they're unattractive to me.


When that question is usually followed "want to make some with me?"

It's not flattering to be asked if you're a porn star.  It just isn't.


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## Phil Istine (Sep 29, 2015)

InnerFlame00 said:


> Another thing that bothers the hell out of me is when people complain about price or try to haggle with me. I'm like, in what universe do you think that we, the minions, have control over pricing? Even the managers don't control that.



I get that too sometimes, though being self-employed, I do have the power to negotiate.  My usual first move when someone tries to haggle the price is to thank them for their time and walk away.  This is because my quality work is built on regular customers - not one offs.  A haggler will rarely be a good regular.  Even if they agree to the price, they will usually try to get extra work done free.  I know what I need to turn over per hour to pay my business expenses and to live from.  If they want the job done for less, I'm sure they'll find some other mug to do it.


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## walker (Sep 29, 2015)

InnerFlame00 said:


> Another thing that bothers the hell out of me is when people complain about price or try to haggle with me. I'm like, in what universe do you think that we, the minions, have control over pricing? Even the managers don't control that.



I see this point, but I'm a haggler.

I learned to do it in South America, where people haggle for everything. Very few prices are fixed there, and if they are, there will usually be a sign: "Precios fijos." Otherwise, you pay what you negotiate.

I learned something about myself by haggling. I wanted to avoid paying $4 for a pint of bottled water and the like, which I learned to do pretty quickly. Then I got good at haggling, a little too good. I was able to pay less than I should have for groceries at times. Which made me a rotten person. So I backed off. I realized that a deal has to be satisfactory to both parties to work. I ended up at a happy medium. People could not take advantage of me, and I no longer took advantage of them. I paid about what I should have for most things. When I erred, I erred on the side of paying a little more than I should have.

Since I shop on craigslist, ebay etc. I still haggle. It's a survival skill. 

In stores or with private contractors, it varies. If it's a chain video store, or a restaurant, no haggling, obviously. But let's say that it's a local business that imports decorative tiles from Mexico. I enter the store, see that there are hand-lettered signs everywhere, with specials, etc., and that the tiles I am interested in cost 75 cents each. I might also know that if I wait until I take a trip to Mexico, I can pick up the tiles for 30 cents each. I might well say, "Look, I'm doing a tabletop. If I buy 100 of these tiles, will you give them to me for 65 bucks?" In my opinion, there is no harm in that. In fact, the owner might expect and even welcome the bargaining, feeling that it's vital to her business. And of course, the owner can always say no.

One last point. They told me in middle school that waving your hand to people you pass walking is to let them know that you are not armed, a habit that has persisted since the Middle Ages. Is that true? Anyway, I'll assume it is. I think that bargaining too may have persisted for long periods of time, as a vestigial cultural habit, and shows up in places today where it is not always appropriate, expected, or appreciated.


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## Allysan (Sep 29, 2015)

I worked at a Buca Di Beppo in upper class south west Florida for over four years. Needless to say, I encountered so many snobbish, entitled customers that my brain quit retaining them all. 

When I was a host, a lady stomped in and demanded to know why we'd put the handicap spots too far from the door. I might have copped a bit of an attitude. After all, it was not I who painted the parking lot.

Many times, I dealt with impatient customers who just couldn't understand why they couldn't have a table right away, despite the wait or the "but there's an empty table right over there, why can't we have that one?" Or the customers who don't tell you they want a booth until you're seating them at a table. Or the ones who automatically look around for a better spot than where you're putting them, almost always in another servers section, which is quite inconvenient to everyone. 

One lady had the audacity to say "wow, you're so skinny. Do you even eat?" 

One night a couple walked through the door and like a good host, I greeted them cheerfully. 
"Hi, how are you guys doing tonight?"
Elderly woman: "We are not GUYS"
...sorry, it's just an expression. Damn us millennials and our horrific slang!

When I was a server, I had an intoxicated man put his hands on me inappropriately. I asked him to keep his hands to himself and nearly refused to return to the table. His wife and friends were mortified. 

Once, when I was spot sweeping the floor, a woman told me to hurry up because she didn't want to be grossed out when her food arrived. 

A regular at the restaurant offered me a job as a nanny to his children because he said I looked like someone who kept to herself. He then proceeded to tell me about how his last nanny would come over in her bikini and go swimming with the kids. Needless to say, I declined. My creepdar works pretty well, thankfully. 


My first job was at Party City when I was 15. It was near Halloween and there was a woman and her kids in the store more than an hour past closing time. When she finally came to ring up her items, I made a small mistake and rang an item up multiple times. It's a mistake I would have caught at the end of the transaction, but she noticed immediately and began yelling at me. I fixed the mistake and all she said was "well you better have not made any other mistakes." When I dropped the receipt in her hand she accused me of throwing it at her. At this point, my coworkers laid in to her. I could've handled the situation differently, but hey I was a teenager!

edit: one more thing, and probably the most enraging of all: When a customer says "don't you know how much money I've spent/am spending in this store?" As if I get a considerable cut or commission of what they've spent instead of minimum wage.


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## dale (Sep 29, 2015)

my ex worked at buca di beppo in downtown indy, allyson. she made decent money there. she made $600 in one night once.
but yeah, she had some stories herself about snooty customers.


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## Blade (Sep 29, 2015)

Allysan said:
			
		

> creepdar



Great word.:eagerness: I checked a couple of dictionaries and it was not to be found. (They suggested crepe. :jaded


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## Allysan (Sep 29, 2015)

Blade said:


> Great word.:eagerness: I checked a couple of dictionaries and it was not to be found. (They suggested crepe. :jaded



I might've made it up. In my head it's akin to the term 'gaydar' although I don't often use that one as it seems a little offensive. I'm thinking of adding it to the urban dictionary if it's not already there!

Edit: I just checked and someone already nabbed it! Darnit!




dale said:


> my ex worked at buca di beppo in downtown indy, allyson. she made decent money there. she made $600 in one night once.
> but yeah, she had some stories herself about snooty customers.



Best job I ever had, despite the occasional run in with rude people. And the food's great too!


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## InnerFlame00 (Sep 30, 2015)

Allysan said:


> edit: one more thing, and probably the most enraging of all: When a customer says "don't you know how much money I've spent/am spending in this store?" As if I get a considerable cut or commission of what they've spent instead of minimum wage.



Yeah, I get that too. "You won't get my business anymore!". Right, like I give a sh*t. Not at the retail job. Now my etsy shop, I care about that. But my retail job? I couldn't care less.

The most frustrating thing for me with retail is being an introvert means that when I am very tired and socially exhausted I lose the ability to make my face have expressions, which is very inconvenient. My resting b*tch face has gotten me into trouble before. It's these such times that I get customers like this, when I don't have the energy to deal with their crap:

So I work at a bakery in a grocery store that bakes all of it's own breads/bagels etc so we have a policy that if you just want one bagel we will re-package what's out there for you...but we don't like to do it. It's stupid and sometimes ends up with us wasting the rest of the package because someone doesn't want three bagels but wants the full four. So when she brings up a package and says she wants a plain bagel I notice there is a plain bagel in the case. Lucky day, I don't have to ruin a package of bagels since I can just take the one out of the case for her. I reach for it and she's like

"NO! I want the one IN THE BAG. Those ones in the case are always HARD. FEEL THEM."

I wasn't in the mood to start groping the bagels in the case so I wordlessly start to open the bag of bagels to get her bagel out and put it into another bag for her. Just as I'm about to ring up her order she pipes in

"You know everyone who works here is so nice EXCEPT YOU. You are the RUDEST person I have EVER TALKED TO."

I hadn't said anything to her, or done anything except refused to feel up our bagels. There wasn't much I could say back to her and I wasn't going to apologize to her so I handed her the bag and told her to "have a nice day" when really in my head I was saying "Go f*ck yourself".

A lot of my "have a nice days" are actually "Go f*ck yourself" when I'm having a bad customer day.


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## Deleted member 56686 (Sep 30, 2015)

I liked the customers that complained that I (and other employees) we're overpaid. It was like nobody had the right to make a living but them. What a world


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## Dave Watson (Sep 30, 2015)

I spent years working in call centres as a customer service rep, the longest stint for what was then T-Mobile, the huge cellphone provider. Used to love the ones that were unhappy with something and would demand to speak to the head of the company. Not a supervisor or a manager. The _head _of the company. I was always thinking to myself, Sure, let me just patch you through to his private yacht in the Med. 

Always fun when you get someone on the phone who's first language isn't English. Once spent fifteen minutes trying to explain to one lady that no, I didn't want her passport, I needed her pass_word_.


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## Phil Istine (Sep 30, 2015)

walker said:


> I see this point, but I'm a haggler.
> 
> I learned to do it in South America, where people haggle for everything. Very few prices are fixed there, and if they are, there will usually be a sign: "Precios fijos." Otherwise, you pay what you negotiate.
> 
> I learned something about myself by haggling. I wanted to avoid paying $4 for a pint of bottled water and the like, which I learned to do pretty quickly. Then I got good at haggling, a little too good. I was able to pay less than I should have for groceries at times. Which made me a rotten person.



Yes, haggling seems to be more ingrained in some cultures than others, and it can sometimes lead to problems when a person moves into a different culture.  In my part of the universe, there is a high immigrant population - many from India, Pakistan and nearby countries.  Haggling is the norm there. If someone is buying a physical product, particularly if buying a quantity in one go, I suppose haggling is more reasonable as a profit will still be made on goods sold and selling a quantity in one go may be a little easier than multiple separate transactions.  The problem comes with someone like myself, a sole trader who sells a service.  Any haggling is a much more direct hit on my hourly income that selling quantities of goods.  I actually had a guy haggling my price once for a one-off window clean.  I told him that if he could find a reason I should work for him for a lower rate than for my regular customers, I would give it some thought.  It didn't happen.


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## Kevin (Sep 30, 2015)

Never worked in retail. 

I highly prize my customer radar. European, North American, Middle Eastern... I've been ripped off by them all, and had great customers from all. 

I had a guy call me the other day... a friend of a friend who I'd given a price. He insulted me on the phone in a roundabout way, said I'd figured out my price by adding up my current bills. I thought about ripping him, and after all these years I've practiced, about the obvious at a glance poc that he was building, how I'd be embarrassed, ashamed to put such on such high-end property, I mean a quality neighborhood... I would never,not anywhere, maybe a tool shed... and here he was constructing it with no contractor (wait till the rains come; oh boy...) no tradesmen, some help off the street corner, unskilled obviously, and how people like him, so cheap, how _they_ were the problem, undercutting the country, not the hordes who're desperate to make a better life, human nature and all, and how... anyway, I just smiled on the phone, my nice voice,  shook my head, and chalked it up to how amazing people can be. "Thanks for the opportunity to bid your..."


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## walker (Sep 30, 2015)

Phil Istine said:


> The problem comes with someone like myself, a sole trader who sells a service.  Any haggling is a much more direct hit on my hourly income that selling quantities of goods.  I actually had a guy haggling my price once for a one-off window clean.  I told him that if he could find a reason I should work for him for a lower rate than for my regular customers, I would give it some thought.  It didn't happen.



I would do the same thing you did. You don't want regular customers to find out that you gave a break on price to somebody who hasn't been as faithful as they have.

I was talking more about retail goods. 

After I thought about it, I realized that I haggle even in some of the larger chains. Best Buy and places like that always want to get rid of a floor model, or something that has been superseded by a new model, etc., and there is usually an assistant manager somewhere who can cut a deal.

I'm fair to people who work. I've worked too long myself, in retail a  lot of the time, to not be. I always tip at least 20%, even if the  service is terrible.


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## TheWonderingNovice (Sep 30, 2015)

I had a guest flip their shit over a quesadilla . 

It was my second day on the job and I was in training in one of the shops. The hotel I work has a food court kind of set up for its guest's to come and eat when they please. There are four shops, each having it's own food much like a regular food court at a mall. Well I was in one of the shops that offered the basic taco bell options during lunch. The guest are allowed to choose what they would like on most menu items with the exception of the chicken quesadilla and some other items. The chicken quesadilla item is just grilled chicken breast and cheddar cheese on a soft tortilla cut into four, served with salsa, guacamole and sour cream on a lettuce leaf with a side of rice and black beans. That's it , the guest is not allowed to add to the dish but is welcome to remove what they do not desire. Pretty simple, right? Apparently not for one guest.

It was lunch time rush hour - and we were getting slammed. My trainer and I tried our best to keep the line moving and shouting orders to the chef on the grill. So I asked the guest for his order

"Hello sir, how can I help you?"

He was on his phone texting away. 

"I'd like the chicken quesadilla."

"Sure, It'll be a few minutes - "

"Yeah, but instead of salsa can I get tomato and lettuce with it?"

"Sure, no problem. It'll be up in a few minutes, Okay?"

"Yeah."

Five minutes pass and his order is ready. So my trainer gets his plate and hands it to him and he pushes it back in disgust.

"This isn't what I ordered. I ordered a CHICKEN QUESADILLA."

"Well, yeah, this is a chicken quesadilla."

"No, I ordered it with tomato and lettuce. I told her my order."

My trainer looks at me and I shrug, because he wasn't making any sense. Take in mind that Chicken Quesadilla literally mean chicken and cheese. 

"Sir, if you don't like it we can make you another one."

"No, I want the lettuce and tomato INSIDE."

I looked back at the chef and he shrugged, we are trained not to delineate from the menu unless it minor. The guest was already heated and yelling and tapping his foot. We explained that we weren't allowed to do that and while he kept on with his demands -speaking to us in syllables as if we were idiots. It took every ounce in my body to not jump over the window and throttle the a**hole. We called on the manager - the situation had escalated to far and he was holding up the line. 

So the manger comes, we explain to her what happened. She tried to explain to him that we weren't allowed to do that, this is how it went.

"Sir, we aren-"

He did the silence gesture in her face. The one that people do when they pretend their hands is a sock puppet, that's how I describe it.
"Will, you shut up and let me speak. I told them what i wanted already!"

"O-okay, fine. Can you make him a quesadilla and leave it open so that he could put what he wants in it."

"Thank you- god how hard is that."

It was one of those situations that you smile on the outside but are screaming on the inside. So we remake the thing and put the lettuce and tomato on the side so he could put it inside himself. He pushes it back with the smuggest smile.

"Now, put the lettuce and tomato _in_ it." 

So I put it in it and hand it back to him. _Lucky for him_ that it is and open kitchen were the guest could see everything. 

"God, how hard was that. Jeez." He looks back at his friend who looks at me apologetically. I felt embarrassed for him. 

So the rest of the time I spent apologizing to guests who had to wait in line during that ordeal.

And that is one of my most memorable instances. I have more but this one tops the list. Oh, did I mention that it was a teen around 17 -19.


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## TipGrundlefunk (Sep 30, 2015)

"Good Morning, I'd like to purchase a new pitch-fork."


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## Kevin (Sep 30, 2015)

Wouldn't it be great if the owners allowed their managers some sort of leeway when dealing with the unreasonable? It should be a trend. Make the call; we'll review it later: "We don't have to serve you. In fact, get out... now. Ne-eext!"


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## Phil Istine (Sep 30, 2015)

TipGrundlefunk said:


> "Good Morning, I'd like to purchase a new pitch-fork."



You may be famiiar with this aready, but if not, it's worth a look 
It's old but it's a classic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaGpaj2nHIo


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## Amnesiac (Oct 2, 2015)

I was working at a supermarket, as a teen. I'm up on a ladder, wearing the requisite red vest, using the price-gun to price the canned goods on the top shelf. Middle-aged woman with rollers in her hair, trundles her basket down the aisle, peers up at me, and asks, "Do you work here?" I looked down at her for a beat, and then smiled and said, "Nope! I sure don't!" She replied, "Oh..." and wandered off, looking confused.

I was working as a stocker and checker at a convenience store, when I was 16. Everyday, a woman would come in, buy a quart of milk, and the next day, she'd bitch that the milk she'd bought the previous day was sour. But she'd buy another quart of milk. This went on, literally, for weeks. One day, I was in the walk-in, stocking the dairy stuff, when sure enough, she comes in, griping at force-10 bitch. I flicked off the light inside the walk-in and waited. As she opened the door to get another quart of milk, I seized her wrist and started pulling. She was wailing, yogurt, sour cream, milk, and cottage cheese were flying everywhere. I kept pulling, until she was nearly halfway inside the cooler. I pressed my face close to hers and just... yelled, "AUHHHHHHGH!!!!!" and released her.

She flew up to the counter, screaming and babbling at the manager/owner, who happened to be running the register that day. Meanwhile, I came in the back door. He looked at me and said, "Did you do this?" I replied, "Yes sir, I did." He turned to her and said, "Ma'am, we'll take care of this." She huffed out -- WITHOUT BUYING ANY MILK, praise God! The manager looked at me. I looked at him. He snorted, snorted again, and then burst out into full-on laughter. Wiping tears from his face, he said, "You know, I'm going to have to fire you, right?" I said, "Yes sir..." (I didn't care. School was starting in a couple of weeks, anyway.) "But if you want a job next summer, it's yours." We both kept laughing, I collected my final paycheck, and off I went.


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## Amnesiac (Oct 2, 2015)

I was 15 years old, and my very first job was washing dishes for a local Mexican restaurant. Every night, when the dumpster would get too full, I'd throw a piece of cardboard on top of the trash and do the "dumpster dance" to smash everything down, except one night, I guess the cardboard was soggy, or the trash beneath it was.... All I know is that suddenly, I punched through and I was drowning in fetid Mexican food. I thought, _O God... I don't wanna' die like this!" _The cooks heard me yelling and came running. They reached in and grabbing me under the armpits, hoisted me out. I stood out there in the 32F air, being hosed off from head to toe, and then had to walk a couple of miles to get home. Good times, good times... NOT!


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## Amnesiac (Oct 3, 2015)

Prospective client calls up and begins telling me about his job; a massive undertaking that's going to involve line-editing, a thorough overhaul of his punctuation and sentence structure, and he wants me to come all the way out to his house, which is ridiculously remote, to pick up the project which he has ever so thoughtfully burned to a CD.

(Eh, which means that I will have to offload it from the CD, do my edits, burn it back to a CD, and then either mail it to him, or drive it out to him!)

     He won't meet me halfway, at a coffee shop or diner, which is how I usually meet up with new, local clients, and he acts like he's doing me a favor by saying, "Well, it's very limited in range of appeal, but if your name's on it, maybe your grandkids will want it." 
     There are so many things wrong with this entire project, I don't even know where to begin...
     I did my best to quote the job in a few different ways, trying to make it as economical as possible. I tried quoting it by page, then hourly, and then, as a total project, allowing for flexibility, should the project progress smoother than what I initially conjectured.
      He doesn't want to pay my entirely reasonable fee, and midway through the conversation, I realize I'm not getting the job. What's more, I don't even want the job!

     Nothing was going to make him happy, and the way he was speaking to me was starting to really grate on me. (i.e. Don't come to me needing help, and then speak to me in a condescending and snotty manner!) I began to resent the fact that he was wasting my time. He knew he was wasting my time, and obviously couldn't care less.

     He finally says, "Well, I don't think much of your proposal."
          I reply, "Oh, really? Well, I do have one more proposal I could make."
          "Oh?"
          "Oh, yes sir! I would be happy to shit in your hat, flog your ass with a riding crop, and then sandpaper your eyeballs. I could provide this entire service for the low low price of just $327.38."

     It was silent for a beat and then he hung up.

     Some days, you just dodge the bullet....


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