# Nonverbal communication.



## Stormcat (Mar 9, 2018)

I have these two characters who are part of an arranged marriage. They can not communicate with each other, and the first time they actually meet is when the groom lifts the bride's veil. Naturally, they are curious about the individual to whom they are about to be shackled to life with, but they can't actually speak to each other yet because of the ongoing wedding.

So, these two need to converse in ways that cannot be heard. The priest officiating over all this is going to delivery a couple of readings, so most of the audience will be listening to him. The bride and groom will try and communicate nonverbally, but how?


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## bdcharles (Mar 9, 2018)

I confess I love writing nonverbal communication scenes - all that twitchy awkwardness about where to put my hands, or what should I do if I look at someone a second too long, or how to tell someone, via the medium of the emphatically-raised eyebrow, that something is about to go down, finally gets a home. So just do that; think of situations where you may have felt the way your characters do, and have them to what you did. Good luck


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## Jack of all trades (Mar 9, 2018)

Nonverbal communication only works when both participants know the "language".

Some things are universal. Others are picked up from the society in which one lives. But neither of those will allow for in depth conversation. 

Arranged marriages are a leap of faith for those getting married. I don't envy anyone with an arranged marriage.


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## EmmaSohan (Mar 10, 2018)

Stormcat said:


> I have these two characters who are part of an arranged marriage. They can not communicate with each other, and the first time they actually meet is when the groom lifts the bride's veil. Naturally, they are curious about the individual to whom they are about to be shackled to life with, but they can't actually speak to each other yet because of the ongoing wedding.
> 
> So, these two need to converse in ways that cannot be heard. The priest officiating over all this is going to delivery a couple of readings, so most of the audience will be listening to him. The bride and groom will try and communicate nonverbally, but how?



Jack of All Trades is right, some nonverbal communication is conventional. But most of it isn't, as far as I know, and anyway your reader won't know either. So a head nod for yes would be awkward, but I think arching the eyebrow would work. (Though neither of those probably work for you.)

Where there eyes are looking can show the topic of their conversation. If they are holding hands, communication can happen there.

I don't understand -- if they can't make any sounds, can they make facial expressions? Wouldn't those be just as noticeable?


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## Ralph Rotten (Mar 10, 2018)

Gotta agree with Jack on this one: they would likely be sending mixed signals.
But then that may be the way to go; they each give these signs they assume will be interpreted one way, but they actually get muddled and lead to issues later than night.
To tell the story properly tho, you will need to abandon your western biases about arranged marriages and try to see it through their eyes. They obviously come from a place where it is common, so instead of dread they may be looking at it in a positive light.
You will need to step out of your head and into theirs to tell the story.


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