# The Poem True



## garza (Oct 4, 2010)

The drumbeat of the rhythmic line resounds within the poet's mind.
And he who would a poet be all rules must follow to a 't'.
A fault it is to labour on with faulty rhyme and rhythm gone.
'Iamb that iamb,' the poet said, while trochees rumbled in his head.

The eight foot, five foot, four foot line deserves to catch the reader's mind.
And he who would a reader be must read aloud to plainly see
What fault the faulty line rests on and how the poet's sense has gone.
'I am the one,' the reader said, 'to judge the poem in my head.'

02 July 2008


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## Firebird (Oct 4, 2010)

Really like this. It works really well - the whole thing.

Love it. May you continue to write!

Love, Firebird


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## SilverMoon (Oct 4, 2010)

Hi, garza. Glad to see you here. Read you here. I detect the very clever or I am at fault for over analyzing.



> *Iamb that iamb*,' the poet said, while trochees rumbled in his head


 
Could we be talking about "Iambpectmater"? Playing on the "I am", not needing to follow all the rules? Such as the "Trochee", a metrical foot with two syllable count. Hence...



> The eight foot, five foot, four foot line deserves to catch the reader's mind


 
You do not break up into stanzas. The above. Should catch the readers mind, nevertheless.

A wonderful poem about the poet and the reader and the battle over what is the true poem. They each have their own percpectives. Intent and interpretation.
So, what about the poor poem? It floats in many directions. 

A wonderful read! Thanks. Laurie


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## garza (Oct 4, 2010)

Firebird - Thank you. I've considered taking up writing as a profession.

SilverMoon - You got the connection. Both the iamb and the trochee are metrical feet, and the 'Iamb that iamb' says 'I will walk how I choose, for I am the poet, all powerful', an echo of scripture. The reader answers in the last line.


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## Tenebris (Oct 4, 2010)

Excuse me while I try to contain my nerdy giggles of delight. I enjoyed this a great deal. Your internal rhymes worked very well and complemented the piece nicely.

If I become long-winded, I apologize. It appears as through your are writing in iambic tetrameter, but combining two lines into one to create octameter, despite continuing to break the lines in the middle, with the internal rhymes, so that it reads as tetrameter. I enjoy this with the longer lines, and breaking it up would not suit the poem, I think. However, it might do to punctuate certain lines to remind the reader of those natural pauses and to improve readability. One line I noticed that is awkward and breaks the meter is S1L4. Given the meter and placement within the stanza, this is not necessarily a bad thing, as it draws the reader's attention to this line, just as the beginning line of the following stanza is more important, videlicet, more focused upon. The content of these two lines are appropriate in this. 

On a final note, I would like to say that the final line causes me great conflict. While I recognize the reflection upon the end of the first stanza, "in the head" seems tautological. This would be assumed by the rest of the line. I am not saying that it should be changed, and if I had the choice I would not likely do so, but it stills irks me sore. With that said, you can ignore it and I have to say that this is a very enjoyable poem, and worthy of publication. 



T


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## Gumby (Oct 4, 2010)

I enjoyed the wit of this garza, very cleverly thought out.   It kind of goes hand in hand with Lisa's poem, _Poets Just Can't Be Pleased ._


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## Olly Buckle (Oct 4, 2010)

> 'I will walk how I choose, for I am the poet, all powerful', an echo of scripture.


Or iamb what iamb, an echo of Popeye, sorry about that garza, irresistible. Good to see you posting here, a man of many parts.


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## garza (Oct 4, 2010)

Tenebris - I thought of commas to break the lines and discarded the idea as too mechanical. In S1L4, 'iamb' being a trochee may disturb the rhythm, but matches the meaning And, as you say, falling at the end of the stanza immediately before S2L1 creates a contrast. 

Likewise the 't' that terminates S1L2 and 'see' that terminates S2L2 are not of the same pattern as the termination of the other lines. 

Gumby - Thank you. This is one of my favourite children. I hesitated sharing it for fear it would be shredded.

Olly - I hadn't thought of Popeye. Quite the romantic poet he was, indeed.


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## Martin (Oct 5, 2010)

My free-verse mind is quite sensitive to meter, rhyming, etc. and can be quite displeased when a poem comes of forced. This one was a pleasure to read, a solid craft of words, melting together the subject and form. Also a thanks to Laurie for exposing the technical details, made it even a better read the second time through.

Keep 'em coming...


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## garza (Oct 5, 2010)

Thanks, Martin. I appreciate the kind words.


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## apple (Oct 5, 2010)

A well created and creative poem.  I enjoyed it very much and I admire the effort it takes to build something like that.  It works.
  Although I do write using rhyme sometime (using a truth in my metaphor) My bedroom is a mess, so I go about picking something off the floor or from under the bed or hanging on a bedpost to match the skirt I want to wear.   A little jewelry for shine .  I look in the mirror and the blouse is a little wrinkled, some jewelry needs to be removed and of course I am too bulgy.  Bump, bump screech,yikes,  Oh well it will have to do.     iamb a lazy ass.   :scratch:

Very well done, garza.  Love it.   apple


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## garza (Oct 5, 2010)

Thank you very much apple. I appreciate your kind words.

Now clean up your room!


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## chrislewis (Oct 5, 2010)

> The drumbeat of the rhythmic line resounds within the poet's mind.





> The eight foot, five foot, four foot line deserves to catch the reader's mind.



I wish I could offer something other than kind words, but you have me stumped. Brilliant poem!

chris


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## Chesters Daughter (Oct 8, 2010)

Why on God's green earth you would think this would be shredded, I simply cannot comprehend. This is excellence at its peak, I can only imagine the work entailed to create such sheer perfection, not to mention your wonderful wittiness. Bravo, Sir garza, I truly admire your talent and hope you'll share something with us again very soon.

Best,
Lisa


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## arkayye (Mar 6, 2011)

Aha! a poem for me to read. Having to swim through thread upon thread on the site.




garza said:


> 'Iamb that iamb,' the poet said, while trochees rumbled in his head.
> 02 July 2008


 
I find this very pleasing. The only other I have heard: 'I is what I is and I can't get any isser!' 




garza said:


> The eight foot, five foot, four foot line deserves to catch the reader's mind.
> 
> 02 July 2008



This is the high calling of poetry, or so it would seem. And I am led to believe it would also be a stumbling block to the poet or any artist in fact.
What do we do if we fail to catch the reader's mind, pack up and call it a day, a century? Or do we bow as JK Rowlings has... how she deplores
the fact that her creativity was restrained when her one book became fan fiction, feeling like she was dictated to by her readership. Or Stephen
King, in 'Misery'.... I suppose this would apply to poetry as well.



garza said:


> 'I am the one,' the reader said, 'to judge the poem in my head.'
> 
> 02 July 2008



In our head we judge. But I believe the creator of the poem is the final say.
Should they choose to free their poem or leave it carved in stone.
Because of poetry, the poet cannot stand alone, yet the poem always does.
Or so it would seem.


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## caelum (Mar 8, 2011)

Very nice, Ricardo, flowed along without a hitch.  Fun to read.  Not a break in meter I could see.
-Cae


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## Boddaert (Mar 8, 2011)

Extremely well crafted. Only got one word - wow!


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## garza (Mar 9, 2011)

arkayye - Thank you very much for your comments. The argument between poet and reader will likely continue, and that's good.

Edit - Didn't see the last two posts. Thank you Caelum and Boddaert. All the kind words from everyone are much appreciated.


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## TheFuhrer02 (Mar 9, 2011)

Iamb caught me as the Iambic pentameter, though that didn't make any sense, until I read SilverMoon's post. Thanks for that info.

The rhyme scheme is something I always wanted to use (abcd abcd) but can't really succeed. I myself tried a dozen or more poems using this scheme, but I always fail. So for me, I have to give my sincerest praises.

The internal rhyming is perfect, and the one-two, one-two rhythm just caught me. Simply brilliant.

A poem so short yet so superb. Truly, this deserves the highest acclaim.


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## candid petunia (Nov 24, 2011)

This is worth sharing again. Wonderful poem, garza.


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## garza (Nov 24, 2011)

After a year...thank you so much. This is from my grandfather's influence on structure, rhyme, and rhythm, with word usage  refined by Ciardi.


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