# Best way to write dialogue for a group of people?



## Snowflake (Jun 13, 2015)

*Best way to write dialogue involving  a group of people?*

I have a scene where there are five teens getting group therapy with a doc.  The teens are not main characters in the story, but they're important. Is there a best way to write dialogue for this scenario without overwhelming the reader?


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## scrub puller (Jun 14, 2015)

Yair . . . 

*Snowflake.

*I don't quite understand your question. That is to say:- What does the dialogue have to do with the description of the characters?

I believe in a lot of cases description is overdone.

 Some thing like "overweight with glasses and a beat up Gladstone bag" or "a scruffy looking carry on with a full sleeve tatt. on his left arm and the arse out of his jeans" allows the reader to form his/her own mental picture of what your character looks like.


Cheers.


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## Snowflake (Jun 14, 2015)

What I mean is this.  It seems rather cumbersome to write it like this (I'm oversimplifying the dialog here):

Bob said to Jerry, "yadda yadda". 
Ted said, "yadda, yadda" 
Jerry replied to Ted, "yadda"
"Ted, yadda, yadda," said Sue. 
Ted answered, "yadda yadda"

My point is that if the characters aren't well known, and the reader has five new names,
is it possible to write so readers don't get confused with the interactions of  
too many characters? There may be too many names and interactions
for the reader to visualize or remember. 

  Maybe my question still isn't clear?


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## Phil Istine (Jun 14, 2015)

Just some thoughts popping into my head.  Take them or leave them; I'm a novice myself.
As there are six in the conversation, it could be easy for a reader to become confused as to who is speaking, so make decent use of dialogue tags and/or actions being made by the speaker.
Give them dissimilar names that will not be confused with each others' - perhaps not starting with the same letters.
Maybe even (sparingly?) substitute a person's prominent feature for a name if context allows, e.g. "...," said smelly - though this may become confusing if overdone and using names as well.
Maybe one of the characters has a distinctive way of speaking that could be used in direct speech if trying to minimise tags or descriptions of characters' actions while talking.
Just a quick few thoughts - there are probably better ways.


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## Gavrushka (Jun 14, 2015)

Introducing five new characters in such a way is going to be a little overwhelming for many readers, and I'd consider developing the therapy session slowly. - Perhaps have two teens turn up early and strike up a conversation, and allow the reader a little breathing space to acquaint themselves with the first two before adding others. - Perhaps you could cut to a separate scene where a third is just arriving, and is having an argument with someone in the corridor outside (introduced by way of the initial two overhearing them before changing POV to the third...)

Especially if it is at the beginning of the book, I'd advise alternatives to throwing five into the mix all at once. - Yes, give one or two mannerisms to help the reader identify who is who too.

And there is little you can do other than name each character as they speak (most of the time) when the five do get together. - Try to avoid too many very short replies and it will help stop the reader being overwhelmed by 'x said, y said, z said'...

And best of luck - If you want more detailed advice, click on the beta reader link in my sig (you won't be able to see that forum until you've made your ten qualifying posts, I believe) - So GET POSTING!! 

Oh, and welcome.


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## Phil Istine (Jun 14, 2015)

The more phased introduction sounds like a much better way to me too.  Nice one Gavrushka.


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## Snowflake (Jun 14, 2015)

Thanks for your replies, everyone.  All were very helpful.  When I figure out how to "like" and the other features, I'll include those, too.

I'm just getting the hang of this website, so please bear with me.   With the group therapy scene I mentioned, the kids are discussed in previous chapters, individually, but they're not brought in until many chapters later.  I tried to give each of them specific traits to help the reader identify them, but for readers who aren't good at remembering names, it'd be difficult.  Maybe it's best to write to the lowest common denominator, so to speak?  

Thank you!!! 

Also, where can I upload a small sample of the scene on this website to get more precise feedback?


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## InstituteMan (Jun 14, 2015)

Snowflake said:


> Thanks for your replies, everyone.  All were very helpful.  When I figure out how to "like" and the other features, I'll include those, too.
> 
> I'm just getting the hang of this website, so please bear with me.   With the group therapy scene I mentioned, the kids are discussed in previous chapters, individually, but they're not brought in until many chapters later.  I tried to give each of them specific traits to help the reader identify them, but for readers who aren't good at remembering names, it'd be difficult.  Maybe it's best to write to the lowest common denominator, so to speak?
> 
> ...



First, welcome!

Second, the complicated multi-party dialogue scene will work better if it is (1) short, (2) more entertaining than confusing, especially if the dialogue is humorous, and (3) involves characters with very different names. A page or two of witty dialogue between Tobias, Esmerelda, Og, Flan, and Xchtl is one thing. Twenty pages of an information dump in the form of dialogue between Tom, Ted, Tracy, Theresa, and Tad is another thing entirely.

Third, you'll be able to post your work for critiques in the creative areas once you have 10 qualifying posts. Check out the New Member FAQs (there should be a link at the top of the page) or check in with me or anyone else on the Staff here if you have any questions.

Happy writing!


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## Terry D (Jun 14, 2015)

All good advice above, but I'd add one thing; don't underestimate your reader's ability to keep track of what's going on. Of course it's on the writer to write clearly, to use dialog tags, speech patterns, observations from the narrator's POV, and mannerisms to create an identity for each character, but you don't have to beat the reader over the head with clues. I always try to assume that my reader is just as smart as I am, if not smarter.


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## EmmaSohan (Jun 14, 2015)

In _The Fault in Our Stars_, John Greene occasionally uses a name:colon format, once for a 6-person scene.



> My dad: "Emily, this risotto . . ."
> My mom: "It's just delicious."
> Gus's mom: "Oh, thanks. I'd be happy to give you the recipe."
> Gus, swallowing a bite: "You know [and continues]



I use name:colon, but I admit it is not common in fiction and not well-liked at writingforums. Another technique: 

John turns to Mary. "Are you sure?"

The first part shows who is speaking and who he's speaking to.


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## Snowflake (Jun 14, 2015)

I read and appreciate all of your answers!  

What I did (oh, so clever lol)  was to bring in a new scene prior to the group therapy scene.  A  social worker REVIEWS the patients carefully with the main character and the main character has the first person POV. The main character (and readers) already know a little bit about the teens from previous chapters. This solution must have fallen out of my unconscious today because yesterday I was really suffering! 

Now I can use the ideas mentioned in previous messages...  without blood seeping from my forehead as I pound the keyboard. 


 Yay!

Thanks.  It's said you have to write to your "audience".  I'm not sure who my audience is.  Some of my "book" is about research so I'm trying hard to figure out how to write about it without getting too technical.  It's a small, but significant part of the "book". 

P.S. I read somewhere along the way that a book should be written on a 10th grade level, so I guess that's wrong.



InstituteMan said:


> First, welcome!
> 
> Second, the complicated multi-party dialogue scene will work better if it is (1) short, (2) more entertaining than confusing, especially if the dialogue is humorous, and (3) involves characters with very different names. A page or two of witty dialogue between Tobias, Esmerelda, Og, Flan, and Xchtl is one thing. Twenty pages of an information dump in the form of dialogue between Tom, Ted, Tracy, Theresa, and Tad is another thing entirely.
> 
> ...



Hi Institute and thanks for the welcome!

I *knew* I'd have to change the names. Arg! Fortunately, a word processor can "find and replace" easily.  I do know my characters by name so changing them will feel weird, so I'll probably wait to do that.  Right now they're all names easily heard on any TV  re-run from the 50's (with a few nicknames thrown in) so NOT politically correct. Thanks for the suggestion!

Snowflake



EmmaSohan said:


> In _The Fault in Our Stars_, John Greene occasionally uses a name:colon format, once for a 6-person scene.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



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Clicked the wrong button...

I'd better stay away from unique solutions until I learn the standard ones, but thanks!

Snow



Gavrushka said:


> Introducing five new characters in such a way is going to be a little overwhelming for many readers, and I'd consider developing the therapy session slowly. - Perhaps have two teens turn up early and strike up a conversation, and allow the reader a little breathing space to acquaint themselves with the first two before adding others. - Perhaps you could cut to a separate scene where a third is just arriving, and is having an argument with someone in the corridor outside (introduced by way of the initial two overhearing them before changing POV to the third...)
> 
> Especially if it is at the beginning of the book, I'd advise alternatives to throwing five into the mix all at once. - Yes, give one or two mannerisms to help the reader identify who is who too.
> 
> ...





Thanks for the welcome, Gavrushka.  

My characters are adolescents with behavioral problems. There' are "hands turning into fists" and that sort of teen bravado. I'm trying to make my writing short and crisp and so far-so good. 

 A lot of the time I let things brew in my mind and something comes up, just like the new scene I wrote about in a previous post involving a social worker who reviews the teens with the main character prior to the group therapy session.  

Thanks for your input!

Snowflake



Phil Istine said:


> The more phased introduction sounds like a much better way to me too.  Nice one Gavrushka.



Thanks, got it!


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## bazz cargo (Jun 19, 2015)

Hi Snowflake,
I have to thank you for asking the question, it has helped me with my WIP. Much appreciated.
bazz


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## David Gordon Burke (Jun 19, 2015)

Here´s a bit of the keys to the kingdom.  Dialogue tags get really dull and repetitive so you can mix it up in two ways.
1.  When it is obvious, try leaving off the dialogue tag.  Once in a while that is.  For a group thing you would want to be extra careful.  
2. There is another kind of tag that is not a dialogue tag but serves the same function.

¨What do you mean I´m as ugly as a skunk´s butt.¨ Mary reached across the table and flicked the ash off her cigarrette into the ashtray.  

Bad example but you get the point.  Instead of the he said she said you can attribute the dialogue to a character and move along the narrative at the same time.  Just be careful not to riddle these sections with description, adverbs and too many adjectives.  

3.  Third option, very tricky and would depend on the experimental nature (more or less) of the book ..... don´t put on any attributes and let the people figure it out.  Might not work in a therapy session .... who knows?

David Gordon Burke


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## walker (Jun 19, 2015)

My thoughts, for what they're worth:

In TV shows with a lot of characters, like Friends, or the Office, most scenes are only between two or three characters at most. There may be more characters present, but usually only a couple of them do most of the talking in a given scene. 

Sometimes there are a lot of characters present in a scene, and all of them talk, and it all works. So there are no rules. But I would look at handing the scene over to the two or three characters who can best advance the plot.


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## Snowflake (Jun 24, 2015)

bazz cargo said:


> Hi Snowflake,
> I have to thank you for asking the question, it has helped me with my WIP. Much appreciated.
> bazz



You're very welcome.  The answers here were very well thought out and informative!     

P.S. I did finish the scene and it went beautifully!


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## Deleted member 59123 (Oct 14, 2015)

549906096=-54-3-3=60-=-2400-


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