# "No Legacy" Voting Thread



## Chesters Daughter (Dec 15, 2016)

Please take the time to *read the entries* and vote for the *three poems you consider most deserving*. It is *imperative* that you *use ALL THREE VOTES.

*Those who vote for less than three entries or who vote for their own work will be regarded as "spoiled votes" and discounted.
*
Members who vote for their own work will also have their entry disqualified*, so please double check your votes before submitting them. Members who create duplicate accounts to vote for themselves will also have their entry disqualified and all of their accounts banned.

*THE RESULTS OF THIS POLL WILL REMAIN HIDDEN UNTIL IT HAS OFFICIALLY CLOSED. The identities of the entrants will also be revealed upon the close of the poll. 

The entrant who receives most votes receives a one month FoWF subscription and the Laureate award.


Please leave comments and/or feedback in this thread.


Those who care to utilize the "like" function may now click to their heart's content.

**Given the fact that this time of year is so busy, and occasionally boozy, lol, we are going to honor the twelve days of Christmas and allow the poll **to remain open for two extra days to give the busiest of us additional time to cast their votes. 

THIS POLL WILL CLOSE ON DECEMBER 27th, 2016 AT 8pm EST. 


HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!!!!!



**



*


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## The Fantastical (Dec 15, 2016)

Yeah!! Well I got my voting out done and dusted! Well done to everyone!


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## Dictarium (Dec 16, 2016)

I guess I'll just go over the ones that stuck out to me.

"Mans' Legacy"

the tabbing was laid on way thick. I get what you're doing with the symbolism of it all but really it just distracted from the poem. Reading it is a bit of a chore. Maybe, in a rewrite, I'd recommend only one or two instances of using the line break as a method of implicit storytelling like you did, instead of five times.

"'Tis a lie!"

i get the reference but the joke just seems to fall flat with a lack of any real support? Like the joke just seems to be that they say a Monty Python line, and maybe that it's a rat saying it to a cat? Like reversing that dichotomy a little? Either way it just seems a bit contrived. If it was meant to be serious, on the other hand, then I'm even more confused.

"There Goes the Holidays"

the poem is written well enough but the sentiment behind it screams of "get of my lawn" syndrome and blatantly not understanding your subject, which pulls me out of the poem, obviously, as I'm one of the people you're presumably talking about.

"[un(will)ing]" and "Disown Me"

i just wanted to praise these two for doing so much with so little.

"Overlooked" and "Dear Departed"

i also wanted to praise these two for their great story telling


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## aj47 (Dec 16, 2016)

I'm only going to detail a few non-workshopped pieces.

*There Goes the Holidays 
*Should be *There Goes the Holiday *

Buried up to their necks in texts
with zombified eyes
do the *texts* have *zombified eyes*? Maybe swap L1 and L2.
shrouded
by pixelated highs
I don't think *highs* is the word you're looking for unless it has some special millennial meaning my over-50 brain doesn't know.
they're simply unable to see
how to properly trim a tree.

I'm afraid to ponder
how Christmas will be
once the lot of them
hit forty.
This stanza is very prosaic--all you did was put line breaks in choppy places. Instead of telling us about your fear, show us.  Ask the question in a fearful voice, maybe.*A Legacy of Snow*

The tattered lace of the Snow’s precious veil,
a smattering of delicate flakes in the bitter air.
This sentence no verb. Sure, the snow is pretty, but where is the action, what happens here?  

Rootless derelicts they soar on Mistral’s bluster,
drifting from cumulus vaulted castles on high.
I don't think *derelicts* is the word you're looking for.  And are they *soar*ing or *drifting*? Also, *cumulus* means *pile* or *heap* so not the sort of thing that would be a *vaulted castle*.  

They are the frail art of glacial hearts, cold hands,
paisley upon the window pane, the hoar flowers…
The way you have this punctuated seems to suggest the snowflakes/derelicts are also cold hands and hoar flowers.  If that is your intent, okay, but it's a very broad use of the poetic license.   If that's not what you intend, then you need to revisit this stanza.  I'm also not sure you want *paisley*.  

Words without purpose, those bits of whimsy—
*Words without purpose *could describe this whole piece.
The whispers heard in the first December snow.

A brief moment of magic, a legacy surrendered
to the burning touch of calloused mortal hands.
These are, I trust, not the same *cold hands *of two stanzas back.

This has so many pretty words in it that I want to like it, but I just can't.  Maybe think about what message you want to impart.  If you want to say "snow is pretty" then focus on saying that.  
*Overlooked*

You’ll know her by her pinched white face,
black clothes and scraped-back hair;
in the corner of the frame,
life’s human signature.
A pixelated incidental,
accidental oversight
of the camera lens.
I would have put a line break after *You'll know her*. 

A doorway of a bombed-out house,
a dusty doss house queue,
in earthquake, war or pestilence,
she’s always there,
a detail of the wider view.
... and *doorway*.

Read the story in her face,
life’s hidden imagery.
Inconsequential indentation,
insubstantial interaction
with the gazing eye. 
Her passing presence in the shot
more potent than the whole.

Face in a crowded cattle truck,
a back-drop to military might.
Eyes at a dusty window pane
as tanks roll into sight.

She, with nothing left to leave,
denied last words to share,
no legacy for a careless world,
save that empty, haunting stare.

This is an amazing piece and my quibbles were small ones.


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## Dictarium (Dec 16, 2016)

@annie

i think "pixelated highs" refers to the oft talked about dopamine release experienced when interacting with social media.


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## aj47 (Dec 16, 2016)

Dictarium said:


> @annie
> 
> i think "pixelated highs" refers to the oft talked about dopamine release experienced when interacting with social media.



Oh.  Well, that qualifies then.    I mean, when I think of pixelated ... well, nevermind, this board is PG-13.


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## Darkkin (Dec 17, 2016)

ignore.


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## Nellie (Dec 17, 2016)

Darkkin said:


> I know it will result in a DQ, but writers have a right to respond to critique.  From a technical aspect there is little to defend.  However, one's observations, while the thinking behind them might odd, it doesn't necessarily mean they are wrong.  There can be no legacy of snow, it is damned before it ever touches the ground.  The wonder of it neither needed, nor seen.  So why does the snow fall?  Why the stories explaining it?  Legends and tales made of it?  Why bother with whimsy; it serves no purpose.
> 
> As a child snow is an amazing thing.  Impossibly delicate, it doesn't have to have a purpose.  Hoar frost, fog frozen to a tree.  Yet it is a marvel, a phenomenon of the cold.  Riding the bus, you blow a patch in the glaze of frost to see out, but it soon refreezes, beneath your fingers it feels like the pattern of your faded paisley scarf looks.  Were my observations wrong?  And what of the cumulus piled so high, they form a nimbus, a vaulted ceiling that seems to touch the stars.  Turreted clouds that spawned the bizarre thunder snow...I probably  should have specified cumulonimbus clouds.


I agree. We all see things differently. Your observations of falling snow were not wrong. I've lived in the Rocky Mountains most of my life and seen lots and lots of snow, ice, frost, blizzards and even heard several thunder snow storms. So just maybe you incorrectly used one word, cumulus.



			
				Darkkin said:
			
		

> And snowflakes cast forth, once they start to fall it can take time for them to touch down.  In the meantime, the wind catches them casting them back into the sky.  For a finite moment they soar, swirling rudderless.  Derelicts, without an owner or a guardian, without moorings, they drift down as the wind abates.
> 
> As an observer, am I supposed to doubt what I have seen with my own eyes.  Snowflakes rising as the wind blusters, only to drift down again as it fades.  Am I to ignore textures, patterns my fingers learned as a child because it fails to align with another's specifications?



Yes, once it starts to snow, it can take it's time for the flakes to touch down. They swirl around like "derelicts", trying to find their way. No, please don't ignore the patterns you learned as a child just because it doesn't align with another person's specifications. If you and I grew up in the bitter cold with snow falling, then we know better than anyone what it "feels" like it.



			
				Darkkin said:
			
		

> In the practiced, pragmatic eyes of the world snow has no legacy, its wonder is nothing.  There can be no legacy without practicality, some brutal truth.  The calloused hand that cracks a bone, the force sends you sprawling...That is the legacy, a brutal truth you try to escape.  The cold hands of whimsy like Jack Frost were preferrable to the reality of those calloused hands.
> 
> Apologies for not being clear and concise with each turn of phrase.  I honestly didn't mean to tarnish the reputation of this challenge or these boards with such a subpar entry.  It will not happen again.  Please consider the Legacy of Snow disqualified.



Why should this poem be disqualified? Just because it is not clear to some? This poem, IMO, is a great legacy, so no need to apologize.



			
				Darkkin said:
			
		

> There is no defense nor refuting the facts of objective observation.  But clarification was needed on certain points, although because they are based in whimsy and personal experience they carry no technical merit in their own right.  The piece is far too abstract, it wasn't meant to be pretty, merely fleeting.  The beauty of snow is much like hope, shimmering for just a moment before it is lost.  I guess I need to reconfigure my message to simply mean snow is pretty.



Aren't poems meant to be whimsical and fleeting at times? This is beautiful, like snow.


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## Darkkin (Dec 17, 2016)

I really appreciate the insight, Nellie, unfortunately the piece is still a DQ.  As the Challenge is anonymous, and I broke that rule when I decided to defend a poem without purpose.


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## Nellie (Dec 17, 2016)

:roll: Sorry..........


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## Phil Istine (Dec 17, 2016)

Darkkin said:


> I really appreciate the insight, Nellie, unfortunately the piece is a DQ.  As the Challenge is anonymous, and I broke that rule when I decided to defined a poem without purpose.



I was hoping that critiques wouldn't be posted until after voting was completed in case anyone was unduly influenced by another's opinion.  I haven't voted yet and I'm scrubbing my mental whiteboard/blackboard/chalkboard, whatever they're called these days.


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## Darkkin (Dec 17, 2016)

Apologies for poking a beehive.  All pieces, as per the disclosure warning, are subject to critique, which is fair.  As such, I should have kept my fingers off my keyboard.


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## The Fantastical (Dec 17, 2016)

Darkkin said:


> Apologies for poking a beehive.  All pieces, as per the disclosure warning, are subject to critique, which is fair.  As such, I should have kept my fingers off my keyboard.




Talking about critiques.. where would they be posted? In this thread or another?


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## Dictarium (Dec 17, 2016)

@Fantastical 

The OP says that this is the thread in which one should post critique/discussion of the poems. I don't know what somebody would expect to find in these comments if not for commentary on the poems from the competition. What else would be up for discussion in a comment thread attached to the poll to vote in the poetry competition other than discussion of the poetry competition? A discussion about the poll? The mechanics of the poll? A discussion on the prompt? I mean, I'm sorry if anyone feels they've had their opinion influenced but you did it to yourself by even scrolling down and reading the comments, IMO.


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## The Fantastical (Dec 17, 2016)

Dictarium said:


> @Fantastical
> 
> The OP says that this is the thread in which one should post critique/discussion of the poems. I don't know what somebody would expect to find in these comments if not for commentary on the poems from the competition. What else would be up for discussion in a comment thread attached to the poll to vote in the poetry competition other than discussion of the poetry competition? A discussion about the poll? The mechanics of the poll? A discussion on the prompt? I mean, I'm sorry if anyone feels they've had their opinion influenced but you did it to yourself by even scrolling down and reading the comments, IMO.



I said nothing about comments or opinion influencing anything! I simply wanted to know where to post any reviews of the poems if I wanted to write any in the future. I missed what the OP said so I asked. Nothing more was meant and not sure why I was jumped on when my question had nothing to to with the other comments in the thread. 

And seems as I was pulled into this discussion...:roll:

To answer some of your questions that you asked - 

 A discussion about the poll? - yes, in fact this is what happens on other voting threads throughout this very forum...

 The mechanics of the poll? - again yes... and again this is what happens in many other places and threads..

 A discussion on the prompt? - Yes. 

Having a separate thread for critiques is in fact quite common and thought of as only proper so that people can talk in one place and those that either don't want to read others opinions before writing their own or just don't care to read them at all OR haven't voted yet and don't want their right to choose (more than just the choice of scrolling down and stumbling upon critiques when you are expecting comments along the lines of "Yeah I voted for...") if they want to read critiques before hand taken away. 

Personally I don't really care as no-one elses opinion could change my vote, but I can still understand people maybe wanting a separate place for the critiques and comments.


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## Darkkin (Dec 17, 2016)

Post critique and comments to this thread, Fantastical.


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## The Fantastical (Dec 17, 2016)

Darkkin said:


> Post critique and comments to this thread, Fantastical.



Simple answer to the actual question I asked... Thank you !

P.S I am sorry to see your poem go... I voted for it!


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## Harper J. Cole (Dec 17, 2016)

I've put my votes in. Good work this month, all! :5stars:


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## Chesters Daughter (Dec 18, 2016)

Apologies my lovelies, I was not ignoring this situation but was regrettably unavailable until now. Please forgive the time lapse.

As she foresaw, and no matter how terribly it distressed me, every entry is a gift, I had no option but to disqualify  Darkkin's current offering as she breached the anonymity requirement of the challenge.

While each of us fully understands the burning and compulsive need to explain ourselves when we disagree with any critique offered, *I MUST IMPLORE YOU ALL TO REFRAIN FROM DOING SO UNTIL THE POLL HAS CLOSED *so that another instance of an avoidable disqualification does not occur.

Please keep in mind that aside from blatant technical messes, a good deal of critique is subjective and never intended to pierce any hearts. Keeping that thought alive and well in the cerebrum will surely still those fingers itching to type until the time is right. 

Voting threads are never locked and discussions regarding any month's entries may continue for as long as members see fit, but the identities of entrants must remain a mystery until the poll has closed. Entrants may address all comments upon the poll's end for as many posts as they wish.

I would like to take this opportunity to say it is a great pleasure to see some real critique in a voting thread and I thank each and every entrant and participating member for continuing to keep the challenge alive and well.


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## aj47 (Dec 18, 2016)

I would like to offer critique on some of the workshop entries, but do not want to abridge anyone's publishing rights.  May I start a thread in the workshop for that purpose?


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## Chesters Daughter (Dec 18, 2016)

Of course you may, my sweet.


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## Chesters Daughter (Dec 27, 2016)

*Welcome to the reveal!*

Juris Prudence by Gumby

There Goes the Holidays by Chester's Daughter

Man's Legacy by PiP

'Tis a Lie! by The Fantastical

[un(will)ing] by Phil Istine

Disown Me by astroannie

Dear Departed by Firemajic

the stars for the void by Dictarium

Nothing of Value except My Autopsy by sas

The Peacekeeper by Ptolemy

*Overlooked by jenthepen - winning entry*

Remnants by Nellie

*Kindly post all congratulatory messages in the Winner's thread. Thank you.
*


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## The Fantastical (Dec 27, 2016)

Congrats to all!!!


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