# work in progress



## cassie30 (Mar 22, 2014)

This is my life story I hope you enjoy the names have been changed.
Life as I know it begun on a cool fall day in October. I was two weeks late and ready to pop. At least I hope it was a cool fall day in1976 cause after carrying me all through the hot summer I’m sure my mom needed a break from the heat. From what my mom told me she had a cesarean section to deliver me. After what probably seemed like hours and more than likely was I was born. As, I grew I learned to walk and talk. At nine months old I took my first steps.

Can’t say how old I was when learned to talk but, the first words I uttered were “Mom and Dad.”

            Then at the age two I got very sick and had a high fever. During that time I was diagnosed with epilepsy which is a seizure disorder. By the time I was three I knew how to read. School was difficult for me. I remember not wanting my mom to leave me with the teacher. The teacher Mrs. Kelly was a nice teacher and made learning fun. So as, time went on I began to feel at ease going to school. 

            In kindergarten the teacher had trouble holding my attention so, they had me tested. They discovered I was neurologically impaired or a slow learner. Because of the disability and the epilepsy I was placed in a special education class. However, all I remember is being about six years old and surrounded by all these older students maybe eight or nine. There was two boys in the class who were related somehow that took upon themselves to be my protectors. I’m forever grateful to them. 

            The other that happened in kindergarten was my younger brother was born on a cold February day in 1982. Which means I am five years four months older than him. My jealousy of him knew no bounds. I was jealous of him from the day I first met him. Yet, while my mom was pregnant I was glad to have a younger sibling. But secretly I was hoping he was a girl. I was used to being an only child and here came this little bundle that needed my mom’s attention. Attention I wanted for myself.

            I used to bite, pinch, and kick or anything to him cause I hated him that much. I even wished he would get epilepsy like me. Unfortunately, that wish came true. I remember one day giving my baby brother a haircut in which I cut his scalp. We fought like cats and dogs till he was twelve and I was seventeen. 

While I was the second grade, the school decided to mainstream me in a first grade reading class. Mrs. Parks was a stern but kind teacher. I loved to read, and compared to other students in my special education class; I had a higher level of reading.  Though I made friends with the other students in my reading class I felt out of place because I was seven or eight and the others students were six.

            The next year I was placed in a regular special education class with kids my age and one boy from the previous year was also in the class his name was Peter.  By the time I was six, I went through a speech class to help get over my Sutter or lisp. Miss Bats was a kind and patient teacher who worked hard with each student in her class. I was well behaved in school.

            At the age of six I became a Girl Scout and my mom became a troop leader by starting a branch of the Girl Scouts with me and other girls from the area. Each troop is given a unique number. The Girl Scouts helped me make friends. The first level of Girl Scouts at that time was Brownies and that level is three years first to third grade. The girls and I earned badge after badge. 

            During my last year a Brownie Girl Scout the other girls in the troop slowly began to move away. I got my final badge that a Brownie could get the Brownie wings which indicated the promotion to the Junior Girl Scout level. In the fall of 1984 all the girls expect Jill MacDonald and I had moved out of the area.

            So my mom searched for a new troop for Jill and me. The third grade was to be my last year at the school because the school I was attending was planning and processing a transfer. Even though the elementary school I was attending went up to eighth grade, the special education help I needed wasn’t available past third grade back then. So, during the summer I had to take an entrance exam, before I completely transferred from elementary school to another.

            After the entrance exam was done I was placed in a second grade learning level in my subjects. At the end of my first year at the new school I noticed a new girl around the school. In the fifth grade I was introduced to the new the girl.

            Her name was Alicia and she seemed nice enough at first. Again I was mainstreamed into a regular second grade reading class. I think my being able to leave class for a period made the other students jealous of me. The rest of the time I spent learning the same subjects as the rest of the class on the border of second/third grade learning level.

            In about a month or so I began to see that Alicia was faking it when it came to friendliness. She always pretended to like you but when your back was turned she stabbed you in the back. So in turn I started to pretend to be Alicia friend. 

            After school, I was involved in dance lessons, choir practice, and Girl Scouts. My after school activities kept me out of trouble for the most part. In the sixth grade my teacher became really ill so I had a permanent substitute that year. But I began to hate school especially Alicia more and more even though I made friends in this school. From the beginning I never felt I belonged.

            At the age of ten I started taking dance lessons at a place called Dance Dimensions. For my first year I took ballet and I decided I didn’t like it. For my first recital my ballet class was supposed be butterflies but the wings didn’t come in. because I didn’t like ballet I decided to take tap dancing the following year. I really liked tap dancing better than ballet. 

            My mom searched for a new Girl Scout troop for Jill and I since the Brownie troop disbanded and Jill and I still wanted to be Girl Scouts. She managed to find a troop in which we only had to replace one of our numbers with the leader Maria Kaiser and co-leader Lotte Kaiser. In my new troop I met a girl named Juliska Toth. Also in the troop were two sisters named Chriselda and Emma. Juliska befriended me from the first time we met. Even though I knew of the girls in my new troop, I still felt shy and awkward. When Juliska welcomed Jill and me into the troop I began to relax.

            I was upset when Jill my friend and neighbor moved away. Outside of Juliska Jill was my best friend. Through Juliska I got into a group called NKOTB created by a guy named Adam. They were the most popular band at the time. I soon discovered that Juliska and I had a lot in common. Juliska’s parents considered me like a second daughter and they treated me like one of the family. I was also liked a band called CMB, a singer PA, a group DD and singer/actor JL. I went through a lot of changes in my taste of music as teenager and adult. Juliska and I did a lot together as we grew into teenagers. 

            When I was nine or ten I met a girl named Lona her mom, her and her brother Brent moved to New Jersey from California because Lona’s dad was interning at the local hospital. They lived down the street from me. At that the hospital owned that house and rented to people who were studying to become doctors or families. After about one year lona and her family moved back to California. Lona wrote me her new address and I wrote back but I never heard from again.

            At age eleven I got my first period and I panicked not knowing what was happening to me. One day in July I noticed brownish/yellowish spots on my underwear. I became very nervous I thought that I made myself bleed again. So, I went to my mom and started asking her questions.   The only thing my mom could tell me was I going through puberty and those brownish/yellowish spots were the sign of my first period. However, she didn’t know how to explain this to me so, she got me this book called Julie’s story. Now Julie’s Story helped me to see what was happening to my body.

            In August my period didn’t come. My first period lasted seven whole days. I got my second period in September and boy was it a lot more painful than my first period. At age twelve my period got shorter it became six days. 

            At age twelve I met a boy named Jasper who was fourteen. Jasper and I hung out a lot, so much so it seemed we were inseparable. We hung out at the park not too park from either of our houses. We went to the movies. We went to his apartment to play video games. And we hung with his friends who were in thirties. To me the most important thing was that we kissed. This went on for two years. Then troubled brewed.

            But before the trouble brewed we had several good times as well. Jasper told me he could live with his mom as long he followed the rules and stayed out of trouble. Otherwise he had live at the special school for boys till he graduated college. Then came the day October 1990 when Jasper broke my heart. 
            Jasper cupped my face and then with these sad eyes he told me that he go live in the school he was attending and I would never see him again, he was sixteen. Before Jasper met me he got into trouble with the law. His mom enrolled in a special school that was just for boys. He also said I should forget about him.

            Throughout the years in school I spent at least one period in another reading/English class. In the eighth grade my class merged with another eighth grade class for social studies class.  I couldn’t wait to graduate the eighth grade as I was restless. Before I graduated the eighth grade I was taken on a tour of the local High school. The eighth grade prom was cancelled because not enough eighth graders were supporting the prom. I vowed to go my junior and senior proms. 

    I was almost kidnapped while going to school. One rainy day after school, my bus had broken down and was going to be late. I didn’t know that, and when a guy singled to me I, crossed the street. I should have realized that the guy wasn't there to pick me up when Marcos didn’t understand what I was saying. Instead, I got into the white van and went with Marcos.  Marcos took me to his house, where I had to wait for his friend, Fernando who spoke English to come take me home. I was very scared, and I didn’t know what to do; I started to cry. Finally Fernando came home, talked to me, and got me to calm down so he could take me home.  

After I was calm, I gave Fernando directions to my house. I got into this red car and Fernando took me home. By this time I had been missing a few hours. My parents were so worried that they called the police. However, cause me only missing a few hours the police wouldn’t look for me. After this incident, Mrs. Cooper my eighth grade teacher decided to have Mrs. Roberts, her assistant teacher walk, me down to the bus stop a few minutes early and made sure I got the right bus. The year before a boy named Saul Flores was kidnapped from school property, but it took a long time before he was returned. Although, Saul was safely returned the school started taking precautions to prevent that from happening again.

When the school found out I got on the wrong bus, they were worried about me making the same mistake. Now the school year came and went. When I graduated the eighth grade, I decided to wear the same dress I wore for my confirmation. The dress was white with very, very light lavender flowers on it. You couldn’t see the flowers unless you looked really close at the dress. My hair was pulled back by a homemade headband. The headband was made out of something I got at the spring festival.

A spring festival is a Girl Scout program. At this particular spring festival we were taught about the basics of camping. In Juliska’s and my case it was something we did to get credit toward our silver award, the second highest honor a Cadet Girl Scout can earn. The highest honor a Senior Girl Scout can earn is the gold award. I graduated the eighth grade in June 1991.

But before that I was in a share time program going between my regular elementary school and a vocational high school. At the vo-tech I met a girl named Hazel Cartwright, a boy named Cliff M., a second boy named Cliff J., a boy named Cody, and girl named clover. At first Hazel, Cliff M., Cliff J., Cody, and Clover didn’t like the crew from my school and as such they called us that crew. From October 1990 to February 1991 all of us went through three shops.  The first of the three shops was cooking/leather design. The teacher Mrs. Jansen had this jar on her desk that you had to put a quarter into if you cursed in her class. By the end of the cooking/leather design shop the two schools districts started to get along.

The second of three shops was computer skills/silk screening/engraving. The teacher Mrs. Abbott taught us how to make note pads, engrave key chains and silk screen t-shirts. She also ran a small in which she sold Charms Blow-pops and they were good.

            The third and final shop was wood shop; the teacher in this shop was Mr. Clark. He taught us how to wood burn, make a lamp and how to make a well. When cutting pieces for the well I cut my left thumb real bad. I don’t why it happened but I must have had a small seizure and went blank for a few minutes. The next I remember is screaming and being rushed to the nurse at the vo-tech. I was extremely light headed and before she could treat me she had me put my head me between my legs. The nurse at the vo-tech told me I didn’t need stiches and all she did was wrap my left thumb in gauze with some ointment.

            The next day I had to see Nurse Sanura Obote to have my bandage changed. Nurse Obote said I should have had stiches put in my left thumb. At the end of the share time program I asked Cody to go with me. Cody said he couldn’t date me because of his religious beliefs. 

            I had decided to go to a vo-tech instead of a regular high school. But the vo-tech this vo-tech was located in different city from my home city so I had to take a bus to school every day. The first two days of school was testing. The testing was to see what my learning level was. I originally tested as a 9-2. Nine-two means ninth grade level two which is good.

            Nine-one is the highest, nine-two is the second highest, nine-three is average, nine-four is below average and nine-five is the low of low. After about a month and half I was promoted to the nine-one level. My guidance counselor Mr. Marino felt that nine-two was too easy for me. My friend hazel also went to the same vo-tech as me. Hazel and I met during the share time program the previous year.

            Before you enter the vo-tech you pick ten rotations or shops you would like to try for ten days. As such my first rotation was health services. I’ve always wanted to be a nurse when I entered into the vo-tech. in the health services rotation I met a boy named Rune, another freshman, a girl named Gilda a sophomore and I recognized a girl named Daria also a sophomore. I knew Daria from my former elementary school. Daria’s mother was an assistant teacher to couple of my teachers at the elementary school. Daria’s mothers name was Mrs. Chavez. Everything was going fine in my first rotation till the last day.

            On the last day of class the teacher Mrs. Bettencourt decided to show some slides. The slide were of bedsores and they were magnified a thousand times. With each passing slide I started to feel light headed, dizzy and shaky to the point where I passed out. As a matter of I lead to a bed in the classroom to rest after I fainted. Mrs. Bettencourt said that I blended into the white sheets that’s how pale and sick I became. On that day is when Mrs. Bettencourt and I decided I wasn’t cut out to be a nurse.

            Bakeshop was my second rotation. I really liked this shop of course it helped that there was a cute boy in it named Blakey. In this shop I learned how to make a pretzel. There is a small store in which they sell the baked goods.

My third of six rotations was food services. Foodservices is fancy restaurant cooking shop and being a freshman I was I an easy target for practical jokes. One day while I was washing the dishes one of the sophomores told me to go into the freezer and get frog legs. I was soaking wet and I had left the freezer door open so I could get out. The reason I was soaking wet was the baggy white sweater kept falling into the dish water which in turn got my jeans wet. While I was in the freezer Grayson closed the door on me. Not only I didn’t find the frog legs but now I couldn’t get out. The teacher Mr. Tucker noticed a commotion over by the freezer and came over. He then let me out.

“What were you doing in the freezer April,” he asked?

“Looking for frog legs,” I replied. 

“Stop being so gullible there are no frog legs in the freezer,” Mr. Tucker yelled.

Only one sophomore befriended me while I rotated through foodservices and that was a boy named Ziven.

Now during the foodservices rotation mine and few other freshmen lunch period was changed from second lunch to first lunch. Normally first lunch is just for the juniors and seniors. Part of the reason the school did that was because there were too many freshmen that year. The other part of the reason was some of the freshmen weren’t getting a lunch or if they got one a chance to eat it.

One day Mr. Tucker decided to send Hazel, Cwen Honey, and me to first lunch. However, I didn’t get anything to eat because I thought I would be going to second lunch as well. I soon found out I was mistaken.

“You idiot what made you think you were going to second lunch as well,” Mr. Tucker asked?

“I don’t know but I will become ill and pass out if I don’t get something to eat,” I answered back.

So, Mr. Tucker reluctantly sent me to second lunch that time. But I knew that wasn’t going to happen again. So when it became official that the freshmen would be joining the juniors and seniors I met a girl named Dagmar. 

One day I went into the cafeteria to get my lunch and found a table where no one was sitting. First off I was a freshman, second off I was still quite shy and didn’t make friends that easily. Then a girl got off the lunch line.

“Can I sit with you,” she asked?

“Sure I guess so,” I replied.

“I’m Dagmar von Schroeder and you are,” she said.

“I’m April Katko. Nice to meet you Dagmar,” I answered. We talked all during lunch and by the end I realized I had made a friend.

The next day in foodservices I had to wait on the assistant principal Mr. Goodayle. From start to finish I messed the whole thing up. First I filled out the check wrong. Then when he was done with his main I forgot to ask he wanted desert. To matters worse another student had go behind me and fix the order. In my defense I was awfully nervous to be waiting on the assistant principal. Needless to say I didn’t pass the foodservice rotation.

The fourth rotation was fashion design. Mrs. Vega seemed like a nice teacher and she was. I couldn’t believe it a shop with Alicia Sanchez ten whole ugh!  This rotation seemed to be going good, until I broke a needle on a sewing machine. Plus I was having other problems as well. I never told the teacher about the broken needle. I just started using a new machine.  In fashion design I made some pillows, plus a few other that I can’t remember what they are.


About three days after I broke the needle Mrs. Vega went tom use the sewing machine to show me something and noticed that the needle was down. When she lifted the needle and saw it broke, she asked if I knew anything.

“Do you know why the needle is broke and down April,” Mrs. Vega said.

‘Yes I broke it by accident and I’m sorry,’ I said.

“I’m a little disappointed in you and you should have told me sooner,” she said.

Even though I wasn’t into fashion I felt bad anyway.

The fifth rotation was retail sales the teacher of this shop was Mrs. Baxter. The shop was okay, I didn’t really like it that much .you can’t learn too much about retail sales in ten days. You learn how to type and make bagels for the school store. My sixth and final rotation was clerical skills. This shop gives basic sectary skills which is typing, answering a phone in the proper way etcetera. Out of all the shops I rotated through clerical skills was the most boring one of all. One day my guidance counselor called me into his office to rate the shops I passed rotation in. thankfully I passed baking, retail sales, and clerical skills.

My favorite shop was baking, then retail sales, and then clerical skills. 

“Why did you rate each shop the way you did April,” Mr. Marino asked?

“I really like baking I think it’s fun, retail sales I boring but not as boring as clerical skills,” I said.

“I’ll do my best to get you into baking then,” he replied.

But to be honest I really wanted to see Blakey again he was the real reason I rated baking number one.

Later that day I found from Alicia that she didn’t pass any of her rotations and now she was being transferred to the local high school in her neighborhood instead of attending the vo-tech all four years.

“Will you walk with me while I say goodbye to the friends I made here in the vo-tech before I have to leave April,”

“Umm sure Alicia I will,” I reluctantly replied. This took place during lunch and so we made our way from one side of the building back to other side building. By the time we were done Alicia had said goodbye to everyone.

“I have something to tell you and that is my dad is very ill and is dying,” Alicia said.

“Really I’m sorry I didn’t know that,” I said.

After that we didn’t talk much just said goodbye once we were back in the special needs section. Alicia’s mom was there to take her home. Once she was out of sight I was happy.

“Yes,” I said! The way I said that a couple of the passing students looked at me like I was crazy.

The next day at school I was changing classes when I slipped and fell. I had banged my left knee really hard. The day before I was placed in my permanent shop which was Retail Sales with Mrs. Baxter. While doing one of my class assignments my knee began to bother me so I started to rub my knee. Mrs. Baxter took notice of this action and sent me to the nurse. The nurse Mrs. Varga examined my knee.

“You have a minor concussion to the knee. But you’re going have to ice and keep it elevated during Christmas break,” Mrs. Varga said.

“Okay,” I replied.

I was uncomfortable the whole Christmas vacation and I was in a lot of pain. My shop mates were Rune Tomkin, Eartha, Mercy, Holly, and few others I can’t remember.

Cody and I started dating in February 1992 two days after Cody’s birthday. Cody called me to ask me out. However before he could call me he made several phone calls to get my phone number. The one person who had my phone number was Hazel. Hazel gave Cody my phone number. That night the phone rang.

“Hi is April there,” Cody asked?

“This is her. Who is this,” I replied.

“Do you remember two years ago when you asked a boy out well it’s me Cody from two years ago,” he said.

“Yes sort of oh my goodness how did you get this number,” I asked?

“Umm hazel gave it to me. Any way the reason I’m calling is to ask you will go out with me,” Cody said.

“Yes Cody I will. I have to thank Hazel for this. Okay bye,” I answered.

That ended the conversation for Cody and me. The next day in school I ran up to Hazel once I spotted her. 

“Hazel I just wanted to thank you,”

“Thank me for what,”

“Thank you for giving Cody my phone number. We are going out now,”

“You’re welcome and I figured you wouldn’t mind if I gave Cody your phone number,”

About two days later Cody called again.

“Do you want to come to my house and watch a movie,” Cody asked?

“Sure but how will get there,” I asked.

“My mom or dad can pick you up no worries,” Cody replied.

So later that night we watched “Death Becomes Her”.  It was an okay movie. Several times throughout the movie Cody tried to kiss me. But Cody and I never kissed. About a month later Cody broke up with me.

“Hi can speak with April,” Cody asked?

“This is her,” I said.

“I think we should break up April and I’m sorry,” Cody replied.

“Why do you want to break up,” I asked?


“Cause we never kiss etcetera,” he said.

‘Jerk bye,” I said as slammed down the phone.  I was so upset I burned the picture that Cody and I took.

Before we broke up I experienced my first kiss but it wasn’t with Cody. Throughout high school I had several short relationships with guys. My first kiss was with a boy named Melvin and it awful. It was the most awful French kiss I ever had. I kept trying to pull away. The harder I pulled the more Melvin kissed me. Instead of kissing me in the hall of school he took me outside. I felt bad because I was still dating Cody at the time. After the kiss I only saw Melvin around school he was a freshman. The following year I didn’t see Melvin anymore in school. (Later I found out Melvin kissed me on a dare.) The kiss left a bad taste in my mouth.

My sophomore year there were a few changes one Eartha and Holly leave. Two Grant W. joins the class, Mercy, Rune and I remain.  The freshmen rotation has begun again and now it’s my turn to teach the freshmen that rotate through the retail sales shop. I became fast friends with a freshmen named Eloise Gosselin a girl about 17.  I also met a boy named Klaus Klein and another girl named Skye. All of whom seemed nice enough. One of the things we have to show the freshmen is how to make bagels. 

Mrs. Baxter would order bagels from a local bagel place and we had to put butter and cream cheese on them. I showed Eloise and Grant showed Skye. From that moment on Skye had a huge crush on Grant. The only problem was Grant had girlfriend and he couldn’t stand Skye.

“Skye is retarded okay,” Grant said.

After a while I can’t stand Skye myself. Throughout the rotations I met a lot of freshmen including a boy named Tiki. Tiki seemed like a nice boy. Eloise, Tiki, Klaus, and I form a secret club called the “I hate Skye club”. The “I hate Skye club” was formed because Eloise, Klaus, Tiki, and myself couldn’t stand Skye. I know that sounds mean but that’s how we felt at the time. Basically when we were together we would make fun of Skye. There was this boy that was picked on a lot because his name was Newton. 

Also in sophomore year I met a girl named Bronwen Brace my friend’s younger half-sister. They had the same father but different mothers.  When I first saw Bronwen I thought she was her sister’s twin. The only difference was that Bronwen wore glasses. By the end of my sophomore year some of the freshmen class were my friends. At the end of my sophomore year Klaus and I started dating. However we didn’t see each over the summer and by October I decided the relationship wasn’t going to work. Eloise and Newton started dating. Shortly thereafter Eloise, Newton and I started to hang out a lot.

It used to make me sick to see them kissing and everything. Newton didn’t want me to hang around with him and Eloise. Newton kept trying to get rid of me and I wouldn’t have any of that. Eloise had begun trying to kill herself shortly after she dating Newton. One day Eloise came up and said look I tried to kill myself. Eloise was so proud of the cut, which went straight across the wrist. Then there was Bronwen who wanted to kill herself because of her ex-boyfriend Maxwell. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t know what to do.

Eloise seemed fine for a while, and then one day she came up to me to show me her latest attempt to kill herself. This time it was it was on her right wrist on an angle. Eloise also claimed that she was pregnant with Newton’s baby. Despite all of this I went to Eloise’s house for Halloween sleepover. I was beginning to worry about Eloise and so were her parents.  At the Halloween sleepover Eloise got a little crazy and started bouncing on her stomach in attempt to kill her unborn child. Eloise and went trick or treating with a couple of kids in Eloise’s neighborhood. Despite the fact Eloise was a little off balance I had fun anyway. Before the Halloween party I had a birthday party for my 17[SUP]th[/SUP] birthday.  I had invited Eloise and Klaus. Eloise was the only one who came to the party. 

Eloise, my brother Orban, and I were hanging out in my parents’ bedroom when, Zita came down to borrow a pair of scissors to cut her and her sister Rita hair.  I got the scissors, handed them to Zita, closed the door and went back to my parents’ bedroom. I stared at the door for a few minutes and then stuck up my middle at the door.  I couldn’t stand Peg, Zita, Rita, and Adonis. Now somehow Zita saw what I did and told her mom Peg that I stuck my middle finger at her. 

“How dare you stick your middle finger up at my daughter,” Peg said.

“I didn’t stick up at your daughter I stuck it up at the door,” I replied.

“Then why did Zita say you stuck your middle finger up at her,” Peg asked.

“Cause she is a liar,” I replied.

“How dare you call my daughter a liar,” Peg said.

After a few more minutes she left and I closed the door again. Then to celebrate my 17[SUP]th[/SUP] I took my brother, and Eloise to a rated R movie. 

About a one and half years later in April 1995 I started my first job at the local Green bank a discount store. My first day on the job I was very nervous and easily shocked. Within a month in May 1995 I started dating a guy named Dagan Levine my first real boyfriend. We used to hang out with Dagan’s friends, Alva, Alva’s boyfriend, and one other girl. They used to drink beer and smoke cigarettes. Since I was 18 and Dagan was 24 he knew I wouldn’t drink any kind of alcohol. Dagan and I talked of marriage. My idea of the perfect wedding was this grand church wedding.  Dagan’s idea of the perfect wedding was him, and me under the stars with no preacher or church. In August 1995 Dagan broke up with me. He said he met a girl. I imagined a skinny blonde girl.


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## Gargh (Mar 23, 2014)

Hi Cassie,

This is part of a larger piece right? 

There are a few little SPaG nits, but I suspect you will work those out as you edit 

As you revise, concentrate on how you break the information in your paragraphs up. For instance, these first ones;



> Life as I know it begun on a cool fall day in October. I was two weeks late and ready to pop. At least I hope it was a cool fall day in1976 cause after carrying me all through the hot summer I’m sure my mom needed a break from the heat. From what my mom told me she had a cesarean section to deliver me. After what probably seemed like hours and more than likely was I was born. As, I grew I learned to walk and talk. At nine months old I took my first steps.
> 
> Can’t say how old I was when learned to talk but, the first words I uttered were “Mom and Dad.”
> 
> Then at the age two I got very sick and had a high fever. During that time I was diagnosed with epilepsy which is a seizure disorder. By the time I was three I knew how to read. School was difficult for me. I remember not wanting my mom to leave me with the teacher. The teacher Mrs. Kelly was a nice teacher and made learning fun. So as, time went on I began to feel at ease going to school.



could be broken up like this instead;



> Life as I know it begun on a cool fall day in October. I was two weeks late and ready to pop. At least I hope it was a cool fall day in1976 cause after carrying me all through the hot summer I’m sure my mom needed a break from the heat. From what my mom told me she had a cesarean section to deliver me. After what probably seemed like hours and more than likely was I was born.
> 
> As, I grew I learned to walk and talk. At nine months old I took my first steps. Can’t say how old I was when learned to talk but, the first words I uttered were “Mom and Dad.” Then at the age two I got very sick and had a high fever. During that time I was diagnosed with epilepsy which is a seizure disorder. By the time I was three I knew how to read.
> 
> School was difficult for me. I remember not wanting my mom to leave me with the teacher. The teacher Mrs. Kelly was a nice teacher and made learning fun. So as, time went on I began to feel at ease going to school.



Also make sure that the things you say as parenthesis (as an aside or additional information), are in parentheses (e.g. commas, brackets, spaced n-rules). For instance;



> I got my final badge that a Brownie could get, the Brownie wings, which indicated the promotion to the Junior Girl Scout level.



reads more clearly with the additional commas.

Finally, there are a few bits where I expect more explanation. It feels like you're setting things up and then drop them. As this pieces continues, there'll probably be a few bits like this where you could expand your story, go a bit deeper to include more 'characters'. The one that really stuck out to me was this;



> I used to bite, pinch, and kick or anything to him cause I hated him that much. I even wished he would get epilepsy like me. Unfortunately, that wish came true. I remember one day giving my baby brother a haircut in which I cut his scalp. We fought like cats and dogs till he was twelve and I was seventeen.



I wanted to know more about how you and the family discovered he was also epileptic, and how that affected your relationship.


Overall, as I said, you have a few grammatical errors, but not so many you can't work them out yourself. The most notable issue seems to be the odd missing word, which happens a lot when you know a piece too well, because your brain reads the word as there anyway. That is best addressed by putting it in a drawer for a few days and coming back to it with a fresh set of eyes. Also, watch out for the odd run-on sentence.

Hope that helps


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## cassie30 (Mar 23, 2014)

This is what I have so far. So yes this is part of a larger piece.


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## cassie30 (Apr 20, 2014)

With the stuff I recently added do you think other readers would want to read it as an whole once completely edited.


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## Pandora (Apr 21, 2014)

I read this sometime back and I was surprised to see when I scrolled down I had not replied. Probably not logged in and just reading that day, that feels good sometimes. 
I really enjoy work in progress, many emotions, my own memories kindled, a very real very good write/read, cassie30. Yes I think people will enjoy reading 
and I look forward to you adding more. I also think it's good for the author to write it, yes? Life stories, when we lay it all down puts life in perspective, I think. We see how it all
fits. Thank you for sharing, I'll keep on eye on this for more progress.


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## cassie30 (Apr 23, 2014)

i added some text enjoy.


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## Pandora (Apr 25, 2014)

I did enjoy! I like the diary form you have taken, holds my interest. Conversation very good as well. Very natural and real feel, like you are not judging yourself and I am not judging you. Taking it all in and letting me find my own memories to relate to. 

It took me all quarter to finish my apron in Home Ec while the other girls went on to skirts. I liked the second half of the semester much more, cooking, I remember the little kitchens very clearly but probably wouldn't have without you, Cassie30, thanks!

Keep it coming, I think _work in progress_ is great!

Can't wait to hear more about Blakey


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## cassie30 (May 13, 2014)

I've added more.


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## Pandora (May 16, 2014)

Yeah first kisses aren't all they are cracked up to be. And a french kiss on the first kiss, that happened to me with a rock star, guess he thought he was all that and then some. Oh and it was the only kiss.

I love the name Skye, hope she never ever knew. Stuff like that can do damage and getting ditched can too. At my 35 th class reunion a mean girl asked me for forgiveness and I said . . . 'why so you can feel better?' She didn't quite know what to say, she was not expecting that. 40th is this year, I might tell her she has stewed long enough now . . . ha! Sometimes asking for forgiveness for ourselves pours salt back into an old wound.

I enjoy your memories Cassie30, good good read. Keep it coming, please!


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## Gyarachu (May 16, 2014)

I really enjoyed this, Cassie. I didn't expect to read the whole thing, but I couldn't stop once I started, hehe.


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## cassie30 (May 17, 2014)

No she never knew about about the club. We hid it well.


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## garza (May 18, 2014)

cassie30 - Like Gyarachu, I couldn't stop once I started reading. You have a direct style of writing that grabs and holds aattention. The nits are negligible and easily corrected. You give us an honest accounting of your life, and prove that real people in the real world make the best subjects for writing.

Others have given you some specific advice. I can only say, 'carry on.'


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## cassie30 (Aug 28, 2014)

I've added some more.


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## Pandora (Sep 2, 2014)

Oh those teen years, brings back memories. You've got me wrapped up here, looking forward to your twenties, a time of self discovery after the tumultuous teens.
 Life eh? I borrowed that from dither. Thanks for sharing cassie, I'm enjoying like reading your diary!


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## cassie30 (Sep 2, 2014)

Thanks I just hope the public would want to read it.


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## Pandora (Sep 3, 2014)

People like to read diaries because they shouldn't, it's taboo. There is the curiosity element. If there is emotion there, something the reader can feel and relate to, they will read. Just write knowing there are people enjoying out there, it is all good.


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## cassie30 (Sep 3, 2014)

I guess  that's why I liked the Diary of Anne Frank.


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## cassie30 (Sep 28, 2014)

This is so far chapter 1. Now my question is should I post by chapter or keep adding to chapter 1.


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## cassie30 (Oct 8, 2014)

Now my question is should I post by chapter or keep adding to chapter 1.


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