# I don't try just humor very often, but...



## KellInkston (Jul 20, 2015)

I've recently been trying my hand at flash fiction humor. I'd appreciate your thoughts. :welcome:

            I was so ready to be a cosmonaut, but my dad, as usual, is a total jackwagon about everything.
            “Don’t activate the self-destruct mechanism, my son. It blows up the ship!” He said. How does he know? If he tried it he’d be dead.
            “Dad, thanks, but I’m eighteen, I sorta know what I’m doing,” I say, realizing my argument to perfection. Of course I know what I’m doing. I’m an adult now!
            As usual, he just shakes his head. “Son, what does ‘self’ have to do with?”
            “Me?” I say as I turn to the platform.
            “And what does ‘destruct’ have to do with?”
            “… Dad, please.”
            “Yes, son. Self-destruct literally means you’ll destroy yourself if you press it,” he says, raising those stupid, bushy eyebrows of his.
            “Well that’s just your_ opinion,_ dad. Why don’t you try being a little more open minded. It could _destruct_ your _selfish cosmonaut agenda!_”
            “You-you’ve been listening to the capitalist broadcasts, have you?”
            “Yeah, I’ve listened to Linken park, MCR, and all the great bands. You’ve kept me in the dark all this time!” I say, now at the top of the platform and entering the ship.
            “Son, no!”
            “Goodbye dad, you were horrible,” I say as I push into the commodore deck a black-market rip of “Welcome to the Black Parade”, AKA the best song in the universe.
            “Son, trust me! Don’t do it!” he cries as I pushed the launch-ready button. As the countdown booms, I push play and wave my dad goodbye. He’s freaking out,  but he has to get away or the blast will fry him. Freedom is finally mine. I can _finally _make my own mistakes. I sing to the music as I flip open the “self-destruct” switch. It’s obviously not, the broadcasts said it would give me ultimate cosmic power, and that’s what  spaces ships are really for.
            “WHEN I WAS, A YOUNG BO-” *BOOM*


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## Joe_Bassett (Aug 5, 2015)

Pretty much every argument between my father and brother. :lol: Spot on representation of teenage rebellion.  Linkin Park is my favourite band and it seems you like MCR too?  I noticed a lot of the terminology you used seemed to be from the USSR or something similar. If so, the rest of the phrasing seems a little too "Yankee". Otherwise, good job!


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## KellInkston (Aug 9, 2015)

You have my thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it!


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## HalfRail (Aug 12, 2015)

It's so surreal how this is pretty much how me and my dad talk to each other most f the time. And for that, I applaud you.


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## Green Rabbit (Aug 30, 2015)

I liked this story quite a bit. I'm old enough to have been both the kid and the dad in this story. There are quite a few minor typos in this story but I'm sure you'll clean them up. It's a good thing every son who thinks they know more than their dad doesn't press self-destruct buttons, otherwise none of us would be left.


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