# Critique



## Ell337 (Dec 30, 2016)

_Just a bit of nonsense that is perhaps appropriate.

_

*Critique*


Today I received my first critique.
At first I was delighted
Someone read my poem.
Quite an unexpected thing.
I rushed to see 
What praise they had bestowed
Upon my creation.
All my life 
I have been told
How wonderful my prose.
To my shock
And absolute horror
They tore my baby to shreds.
'Needs work' the kindest thing said.
I gasped, I moaned, I saw red.
How DARE they!
I screamed, I objected.
'Don't judge' I cried,
Who appointed you
Judge, jury and executioner?
'We critique your poem to improve'
I sighed, some of what
They said was true.
If I was honest
I had to admit 
I had much to learn.
After all no-one taught
Sonnets, ballads and free verse.
I had been winging it for years.
The painful truth was before me,
I had to WORK at this thing
called poetry.
I couldn't simply make it up
On the spot and hope
to be any good.


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## H.Brown (Dec 30, 2016)

Made me chuckle, you have summed up how I also felt at my first bit of critique.


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## Absolem (Dec 30, 2016)

Cool poem. I feel the same sometimes but when you get a good reaction its always worth it.


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## ned (Dec 30, 2016)

hello -

really enjoyed the refreshing honesty on the delicate matter of critique (round here!)

some nice rhymes and in rhymes going on - but they need to be consistent throughout the poem
to lift some of the more prose-like passages, as I see it.

would also end the poem on 'called poetry' for more impact, perhaps.

cheers
Ned


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## Ell337 (Dec 30, 2016)

Thanks for the responses everyone.

Ned, yes I'm also not happy with the end. It's weak and bothers me everytime I reread it but so far nothing better has suggested itself. One day it will though.


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## Phil Istine (Dec 30, 2016)

I wouldn't dare to offer critique for this one


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## Ell337 (Dec 31, 2016)

Phil Istine said:


> I wouldn't dare to offer critique for this one



LOL


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## Firemajic (Dec 31, 2016)

Well of course this is a sharp, honest sneak peak into the psyche of a poet... or writer... or any artist... we have all suffered the sting from an honest critique, those growing pains are... painful. I am going to put my head on your chopping block and say that some of the line breaks could be rearranged to make this even better... better than it is, I mean... and this is just my humble, silly opinion...


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## Bard_Daniel (Jan 1, 2017)

Great identifiable emotion and thoughts in this one. I can relate, ahaha. Well placed and well done.


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## Roo2503 (Jan 2, 2017)

Through suffering comes growth! Keep on writing....


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## sas (Jan 2, 2017)

Roo2503 said:


> Through suffering comes growth! Keep on writing....



Or:  Through growth comes suffering!

I have belonged to many workshop poetry groups. I dropped those I called "applause groups" I applaud myself enough. I'm cheap and looking for a free education. This be the (best) place.  sas
.


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## Ell337 (Jan 2, 2017)

I don't know if I should come clean at this point or not. Probably not. But hey ho. 

I've never reacted like this to critique. I've always seen it as either helpful or to be ignored. It's always been water off the ducks back for me. However I have been on many forums, and watched many a person who has had a melt down because someone dared criticise their 'masterpiece'. This was written after one such incident. Made first person to remove the sting of any implied, inferred or assumed accusation.


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## sas (Jan 2, 2017)

Ell,  I read you postscript "I.....adjust to how it sounds when spoken aloud."  I have changed many of my poems after I recited them. It's odd how some wrongs are only picked up that way; or, maybe only by those with less experience. Wish I had a better voice. Mine can destroy Shakespeare. At least, I use that as an excuse for a crap sounding poem. I try to hear them like Maya Angelou is reading, not as my immitation of Phyllis Diller (you will, no doubt, need to google her due to youth or location....I hate if youth more).  sas


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## Ell337 (Jan 3, 2017)

sas said:


> Ell,  I read you postscript "I.....adjust to how it sounds when spoken aloud."  I have changed many of my poems after I recited them. It's odd how some wrongs are only picked up that way; or, maybe only by those with less experience. Wish I had a better voice. Mine can destroy Shakespeare. At least, I use that as an excuse for a crap sounding poem. I try to hear them like Maya Angelou is reading, not as my immitation of Phyllis Diller (you will, no doubt, need to google her due to youth or location....I hate if youth more).  sas



I'm sure you sound just fine. Everyone thinks their own voice sounds horrible especially when you hear it recorded. I've done some recording work, reading my work and others, and everyone else thinks my voice is great - I don't! 

As for Phyllis Diller - I'm horrible with names, but faces I remember. I did have to look her up, once I saw I a picture I knew who she was  LOL


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## sas (Jan 3, 2017)

Well, I can prove I sound and read shitty. I'm on this month's pod cast, near the end. Except for me, it is worth the listen. Fabulously talented poets in this group.


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## Ell337 (Jan 3, 2017)

sas said:


> Well, I can prove I sound and read shitty. I'm on this month's pod cast, near the end. Except for me, it is worth the listen. Fabulously talented poets in this group.



I don't agree; your voice is fine. Your opinion that your own voice is bad is common it's almost a cliche. 

There is an explanation for it too:

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20130913-why-we-hate-hearing-our-own-voice

However recording yourself well - now that is a whole other story.


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## Roo2503 (Jan 3, 2017)

I hate my voice also. I never sound sincere! I put it down to actually knowing how much of a fraud I am.


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