# Empress Theresa  --  it's on Amazon KINDLE (1 Viewer)



## empresstheresa

I put _Empress Theresa_ on Amazon KINDLE a couple days ago.  :-D

Why?  

1.  To protect the copyright.

2.  I've been sending out detailed synopses and sample chapters to literary agents for some time.  The story is out there.  I was afraid some hack writer would throw together a cheap imitation of my storyline in a month and beat me to the market at my own game.   Not!

3.  I have a marketing plan.  Theresa is a Catholic.  Well, she had to be something, didn't she? :-D  Readers will want to know.  
     Catholicism is not an issue in the book.  No exclusively Catholic ideas are mentioned.  Not even the name Jesus is used.  When Theresa is being taken to what she believes is her "certain death", she thinks about her reasons for believing in God.  Her thoughts are equally applicable to Protestants, Jews, Moslems, and many other religions.  So it's not a Catholic book. :distrust:
       Nevertheless.............   :-k
...........Empress Theresa is a Catholic priest's dream come true book to recommend to young people.  ( If I had made Theresa a Baptist and changed nothing else in the book,  Empress Theresa would be a Baptist minister's dream come true book to recommend to young people.  If I had made Theresa a Mormon........ etc    You get the idea.  )
      There are online directories of Catholic parishes and the pastors' names.  There's over 22,000 of them in the U.S. I'm sending out snail mail letters to pastors making them aware of the book.
      Did I mention there are 1,150,000,000 Catholics in the world?


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## Terry D

I wish you the best of luck.


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## Jeko

As do I.

Be advised though that your character, from what I have read, contradicts some Catholic doctrine I know of. You may want to do further research into different religions to find what Theresa's character and story are most applicable to, else it would seem that the Catholic element of her is just 'tagged on' so to speak, especially if it doesn't quite fit her.


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## empresstheresa

> I wish you the best of luck.



Thank you Terry.  


Cadence wrote:


> As do I.





> Be advised though that your character, from what I have read, contradicts some Catholic doctrine I know of. You may want to do further research into different religions to find what Theresa's character and story are most applicable to, else it would seem that the Catholic element of her is just 'tagged on' so to speak, especially if it doesn't quite fit her.



I'm totally mystified by your remarks.
First of all, no Catholic doctrine is mentioned in the book other than that there is a God which could apply to most of the world's religions.

Second,  if the word "Catholic" weren't used in the book, and I edited out brief references about the Cardinal and the Holy Father who never appear "onstage",  readers couldn't guess which religion she belonged.
She could be Episcopalian, Anglican, Methodist, or many other things.

The "Catholic element" isn't tagged on to her since somebody from Nepal or anybody who knew nothing about the Catholic Church would learn nothing about it from the book.
Theresa is identified as Catholic because the whole book is primarily about Theresa's personality and the potential of the human spirit ( see note ).  The amazing events in the story are secondary.  So the reader will want to know everything about Theresa including her religion.


( note on "human spirit":  after Theresa has been in the Parker mansion near London for a year dealing with the "impossible" problems,  she decides it's time to go home.  Just before she leaves, her husband Steve pulls the butler, Arthur, aside and gives him a reward for his helping Theresa at a difficult time.  He gives him five million dollars in one hundred dollar bills:
     "Don't refuse to take it.  To Theresa it's nothing.  She wouldn't pick it up off the ground."
     "Thank you, sir."
     "I'll bet you'll hire your own butler, hunh?"
     "No, sir.  You have made this house a shrine to the human spirit.  I will never leave."  )


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## Jeko

Sorry, I really can't be bothered to respond to your posts ET. I hope you can find someone else to explain to you the ins and outs of Catholicism.


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## empresstheresa

> Sorry, I really can't be bothered to respond to your posts ET. I hope you can find someone else to explain to you the ins and outs of Catholicism.




That's a shame, but I've already found somebody else to explain the ins and outs of Catholicism.  He's written 1,304 posts over the last nine years on the catholic.com forums mostly in the Philosophy section:
Philosophy - Catholic Answers Forums

He argues with the atheists and tears their insane claims apart.  He explains things to sincere young people who are confused on some point.  He knows everything. 
He goes by the nickname "empther".   :eagerness:  :hi:


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## Jeko

That is you. Try harder.


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## moderan

empresstheresa said:


> That's a shame, but I've already found somebody else to explain the ins and outs of Catholicism.  He's written 1,304 posts over the last nine years on the catholic.com forums mostly in the Philosophy section:
> Philosophy - Catholic Answers Forums
> 
> He argues with the atheists and tears their insane claims apart.  He explains things to sincere young people who are confused on some point.  He knows everything.
> He goes by the nickname "empther".   :eagerness:  :hi:


You clearly conflated fact with opinion quite some time ago. The empress doesn't have any clothes either.
Based on your description on the product page, I wouldn't buy the thing for a nickel. Your cover looks awful too. And I suspect that the only three degrees you've ever seen had wonderful voices and satiny gowns.


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## Sam

> I was afraid some hack writer would throw together a cheap imitation of  my storyline in a month and beat me to the market at my own game.   Not!



You might be struck by lightning tomorrow and win the lottery on the way home from the hospital. That'd be three events occurring, the odds of each more astronomical than the previous.


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## moderan

Hackneyed. A pulp plot married to a cynical (and poor) excuse for a business plan. But, as noted, there are billions of delusional dipsticks out and about. If it can somehow connect with the "Left Behind" sort of extreme dimbulb audience it might actually succeed. That would be a damn shame, as it would encourage more "literature" of this type.


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## Potty

moderan said:


> Hackneyed. A pulp plot married to a cynical (and poor) excuse for a business plan. But, as noted, there are billions of delusional dipsticks out and about. If it can somehow connect with the "Left Behind" sort of extreme dimbulb audience it might actually succeed. That would be a damn shame, as it would encourage more "literature" of this type.



Well I'm sold!


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## empresstheresa

> Hackneyed. A pulp plot married to a cynical (and poor) excuse for a business plan. But, as noted, there are billions of delusional dipsticks out and about. If it can somehow connect with the "Left Behind" sort of extreme dimbulb audience it might actually succeed. That would be a damn shame, as it would encourage more "literature" of this type.



Multiple Oscar nominations at the 2018 Academy Awards:

Best actress for Theresa Hartley role:    WIN !  O
( "I dare say no actress could play her"  -- British television news commentator in the book  )

Best supporting actor for Steve Hartley role

Best supporting actor for British Prime Minister Peter Blair role

Best screen play

Best set design :  it's tough to beat the whole world! 

Best cinematography:  it's tough to beat the whole world! 
( oh, did I say that already? )

Best special effects:  WIN! WIN! WIN!


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## Potty

empresstheresa said:


> British Prime Minister Peter Blair



Who?


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## Lewdog

This thread reads like a train wreck under the christmas tree, where many snow globes and dancing Santas mercilessly lost their frail lives.


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## Kevin

empresstheresa said:


> Multiple Oscar nominations at the 2018 Academy Awards:
> 
> Best actress for Theresa Hartley role:    WIN !  O
> ( "I dare say no actress could play her"  -- British television news commentator in the book  )
> 
> Best supporting actor for Steve Hartley role
> 
> Best supporting actor for British Prime Minister Peter Blair role
> 
> Best screen play
> 
> Best set design :  it's tough to beat the whole world!
> 
> Best cinematography:  it's tough to beat the whole world!
> ( oh, did I say that already? )
> 
> Best special effects:  WIN! WIN! WIN!


 More power to ya. Then I could say "Hey it's that guy that used to take all that flak. Man, I never thought..." Anyway, hope it turns out .


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## moderan

empresstheresa said:


> Multiple Oscar nominations at the 2018 Academy Awards:
> 
> Best actress for Theresa Hartley role:    WIN !  O
> ( "I dare say no actress could play her"  -- British television news commentator in the book  )
> 
> Best supporting actor for Steve Hartley role
> 
> Best supporting actor for British Prime Minister Peter Blair role
> 
> Best screen play
> 
> Best set design :  it's tough to beat the whole world!
> 
> Best cinematography:  it's tough to beat the whole world!
> ( oh, did I say that already? )
> 
> Best special effects:  WIN! WIN! WIN!


What did I say about delusions?


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## Ever2222

Honestly, I read you story in another thread and I don't believe it's bad. Actually it's good, however the problem is your inability to recieve critiques. I'm not saying you should change your story to satisfy the needs of others, but you should be open minded. I wish you the best in the work with your book eaceful:


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## Jeko

How can two people get the best supporting actor role?


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## Ever2222

Cadence said:


> How can two people get the best supporting actor role?



Anything is possible when you are an empress! )))


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## empresstheresa

> _
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *empresstheresa*
> 
> 
> British Prime Minister Peter Blair
> 
> _
> 
> Who?



My tribute to Tony Blair whom I admire.  He won't mind.  Peter Blair is a great guy.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Scherzer is my tribute to current PM Benjamin Netanyahu whom I admire.  I obviously couldn't use his last name.  Too obvious.  

PM Scherzer is a great guy too.  Theresa writes a letter to PM Blair who reads it to the House of Commons:“Dear Mr. Blair, People say I should be given the Nobel Peace Prize for the Israel situation.  It should be given to Prime Minister Scherzer.  He’s heroic.  Anybody would have told him to stay in Israel and prepare for the fight.  So what did he do?  He came to London to see a girl who had no ties to Judaism, who couldn’t find Israel on a map, who had no interest in politics or war, who might not be able to do anything at all about Israel, who might not even care what happened to Israel.  Aren’t politicians supposed to take care of those things?  He threw all his chips in the pot and came away with a royal straight flush.  Your friend, Theresa.”​


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## empresstheresa

> How can two people get the best supporting actor role?




They're only nominated.  


You'll notice I didn't include Best Picture on the list.  They're not going to give Best Picture to a movie about a teenager.


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## empresstheresa

> Honestly, I read you story in another thread and I don't believe it's bad. Actually it's good, however the problem is your inability to recieve critiques. I'm not saying you should change your story to satisfy the needs of others, but you should be open minded. I wish you the best in the work with your book eaceful:



1. Which thread did you read?  I can't comment unless I know. 

2.  The Amazon "LOOK INSIDE!" sample pages of my KINDLE listing were chosen by the 'IN REVIEW' process.  They make the decisions.  The author has no input.  Which is too bad.  The first two and a half chapters they show are only the setup/background, Theresa in her youth,  things broiling ( President Martin seems to be up to something ) etc. 
Only a few pages later we're into chapter four where all hell breaks loose.

3.  Kevin mentioned that I take a lot a flak.  I sure do.  More than anybody else around here.  Why?

4.  My real objective is that the book be made into a movie.  It will be an instant hit, an eye popping spectacle ( "Forget the pictures" says an airplane pilot. "You have to be here to understand the size of this thing!" ),  and an inspirational experience.  If the movie is made and made well I don't care if nobody but the movie producer reads the book.


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## Terry D

Might I suggest that since the book is now published (and protected) you might arrange for a volunteer from Writing Forums to read it and review it for the Motley Press?  Much as been said and written about the excerpts you've posted here, and you've suggested that those comments were in error because they were taken out of context.  Finding someone here to read and review the book could be enlightening.  I'm not suggesting that you choose someone who's been critical of the excerpts, but another member, someone who hasn't participated in the discussions to this point.  Just a thought.  Following the Amazon reviews will be interesting.


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## empresstheresa

Terry D said:


> Might I suggest that since the book is now published (and protected) you might arrange for a volunteer from Writing Forums to read it and review it for the Motley Press?  Much as been said and written about the excerpts you've posted here, and you've suggested that those comments were in error because they were taken out of context.  Finding someone here to read and review the book could be enlightening.  I'm not suggesting that you choose someone who's been critical of the excerpts, but another member, someone who hasn't participated in the discussions to this point.  Just a thought.  Following the Amazon reviews will be interesting.



My own brother and sister haven't read the book and we all live in the same house.

What one, or two, or half a dozen people think of the book doesn't matter.  What matters is the target audience, primarily the millions of teenagers out there who thirst for an inspirational model.

I imagine The Hunger Games would have bombed if old farts like me were first to read it,  but the kids don't care what we think.


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## Whisper

I read a few pages on Amazon and the section of "about you."

I'm curious as to what your science degrees are in. You mention you have three.


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## empresstheresa

> Following the Amazon reviews will be interesting.


Expect a few terrible reviews in the beginning.

I joined an atheist forum last year for fun.  I was very polite and everything.  When they found out I supported belief in God's existence they lashed into me like you wouldn't believe.  Apparently there is no Moderator over there who isn't in a coma.  Anything goes.  Any foul language or blasphemy is permitted.  As you can predict, the worst loudmouths take over the forum.  It's always that way.
They noticed I wrote Empress Theresa, and of course they trashed the book. 
They hate my existence and tracked me down all over the internet, even finding me in places I'd forgotten.
They'll find my book on Amazon and then it'll be ugly.

(  The thread I started over there was exiled to the "Into The Darkness"  section.  You can't see anything in the "Darkness" section unless you're a forum member and logged in.  I can't see it myself; I was banned for telling the truth: "The universe itself is the evidence for God" I said.  )


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## Terry D

empresstheresa said:


> What one, or two, or half a dozen people think of the book doesn't matter.  What matters is the target audience, primarily the millions of teenagers out there who thirst for an inspirational model.
> 
> I imagine The Hunger Games would have bombed if old farts like me were first to read it,  but the kids don't care what we think.



There are a lot of young people on this site.


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## empresstheresa

> I read a few pages on Amazon and the section of "about you."
> 
> I'm curious as to what your science degrees are in. You mention you have three.



Bachelor of Science in Chemistry, BS,  Univ of Maine in Orono

Bachelor of Science in Nursing, BSN, Univ of Southern Maine

Doctor of Dental Medicine, DMD, ( same as DDS )    Tufts Dental, Boston


I was also a computer programmer for eight years, IBM mainframe CICS online environment, wrote code in machine language which is rare today.


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## Jeko

> You'll notice I didn't include Best Picture on the list. They're not going to give Best Picture to a movie about a teenager.



Life of Pi was nominated for this year's award. And your bias towards age will not be beneficial to your writing career.


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## Whisper

Cadence said:


> Life of Pi was nominated for this year's award. And your bias towards age will not be beneficial to your writing career.



Not to come out on either side here but nominated doesn't mean win. And since he wrote about a teenager, not sure how you can consider him bias toward the younger age group.


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## Jeko

Checked the book out on Amazon.

Discovered that Theresa has 'girlfriends'.


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## empresstheresa

Cadence 
[QUOTE said:
			
		

> _You'll notice I didn't include Best Picture on the list. They're not going to give Best Picture to a movie about a teenager.
> _


Life of Pi was nominated for this year's award. And your bias towards age will not be beneficial to your writing career.[/QUOTE]

That's typical !   :deadhorse:

How can I be biased against the young when I wrote a book to inspire them, a book in which a teenager comes out looking very, very, very good?

The Life of Pi is a fantasy.  Doesn't the whole experience turn out to be a dream of something?  Anyway, it didn't get Best Picture.

The Best Picture award is voted on by all members of the Academy including the many thousands of actors.  Do you think Sandra Bullock and Demi Moore are going to vote for a movie starring a teenaged actress?  Dream on!

They might give Best Actress for the Theresa Hartley role.  They have to be politically correct.  The masses of people, including the millions of kids who buy all the theatre tickets and DVDs,  will be rooting for Theresa.  

_The Miracle Worker _ moved people to tears but didn't get Best Picture


Academy Award for Best Actress (Anne Bancroft, *winner*)
Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress (Patty Duke, *winner*)
Academy Award for Best Director (Arthur Penn, nominee)
Academy Award for Best Adapted Screenplay (William Gibson, nominee)
Academy Award for Best Black-and-White Costume Design (Ruth Morley, nominee)

_The Diary of Anne Frank _got best picture in 1959 when WWII was a fresh memory,  but today?  Probably not.


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## empresstheresa

> Checked the book out on Amazon.
> 
> Discovered that Theresa has 'girlfriends'.



That's typical !  :deadhorse:

From chapter 1:



> A crowd of neighbors was gathering near the confused firemen.  I left the house and walked over to join the onlookers.  “What's going on?” I asked one of my girlfriends.


Theresa is only ten years old.  What's the matter with you?


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## Jeko

Sorry, I find your style of writing confusing.


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## Jon M

Don't really have a dog in this fight but, empresstheresa, I strongly suggest you find a new cover for your book. It's so poorly done it's like a padlock on the door -- I wouldn't be surprised if it's actually turning readers _away_.


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## empresstheresa

Jon M said:


> Don't really have a dog in this fight but, empresstheresa, I strongly suggest you find a new cover for your book. It's so poorly done it's like a padlock on the door -- I wouldn't be surprised if it's actually turning readers _away_.



You're absolutely right. 
But KINDLE requires a cover and I painted this one.
My digital camera didn't do a good job, and now, the Kodak software doesn't work anymore so I can't take more pictures.  This is why Kodak is going out of business!

But I have the picture in MY PICTURES  and I'm working on it.  
Stay tuned. 

Some young adult novel writers just have a neighborhood teenager smile into the camera for a cover design.  It tells readers nothing about content.  I wanted to give readers a hint of the kind of stuff inside.

How many people have noticed my KINDLE listing besides a few dozen people on this forum and a couple others?  There's plenty of time.


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## empresstheresa

> Sorry, I find your style of writing confusing.




From Chapter one,  page two:



> My story began quietly with no hint of what was coming.
> 
> 
> I was home alone at *age ten  *:disturbed: while my parents worked but I was safe.


What's confusing about that?


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## Ever2222

I believe I found your book in your last thread for it, "Empress Theresa- what would you do with unlimited power?". I searched it on Amazon, and yeah you may want to change that cover of yours...


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## Terry D

What does any of this movie discussion have to do with this book?  Projecting a newly released, self-published book to a movie is fantasy.  Either the book will sell, or it will not.  Either the author will make it available for review, or he will not.  Short of that all we have to go by is the cover and what excerpts are available.

ET is proud of his work and justifies it with passion and bias.  Simply completing a novel is a laudable accomplishment.  Whether or not it is a good novel only readers can say.  What I have seen of it does not appeal to me.  The plot, as described, seems cartoonish and contrived; the characters are two dimensional--from the excerpts posted; and the writing, while technically sound, is stilted, choppy, and obviously the work of an inexperienced writer.

While that may sound harsh, it is not intended that way.  ET has spent a lot of energy here and in other threads promoting, discussing, and defending this book, but books are made up of plot, characters, and writing; if what is publicly posted fails in those categories how can I expect the rest to be any different?  And why would I pay to find out?  No, I'm not a teenager, but at thirteen my opinion of this book would have been much worse.


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## Ever2222

True, saying it will get turned into a movie is wayyyy to early.


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## empresstheresa

> The plot, as described, seems cartoonish and contrived; the characters are two dimensional--from the excerpts posted; and the writing, while technically sound, is stilted, choppy, and obviously the work of an inexperienced writer.
> 
> While that may sound harsh, it is not intended that way. ET has spent a lot of energy here and in other threads promoting, discussing, and defending this book, but books are made up of plot, characters, and writing; if what is publicly posted fails in those categories how can I expect the rest to be any different?



It all comes down to this:  since you haven't read the book you can't know what you're talking about.

I'll give one example:  "*the characters are two dimensional *ukel:   --from the excerpts posted"  :sour: 

In chapter 1 Theresa is ten years old.  You can't expect much.

In chapter 2 Theresa has a talk with Jan Struthers and then another one with the guy from England.  While this chapter is necessary to set up what will happen in the near future,  Theresa really isn't doing anything yet.

Chapter 3 will set up Theresa's matchup with Steve.  This is very important.  Steve will help Theresa a lot and without him she would probably fail.  Armegeddon is here.  "We are all lost".  Not much of a story.
The KINDLE "Look Inside" stops in the middle of chapter 3 just before Theresa and Steve get together.  
Theresa still hasn't done anything.
In chapter four, all the elements introduced in chapters 1 and 2 will explode.  All hell breaks loose.  We see Theresa's behavior in all her glory.  The story is just starting.

1.  You still haven't seen Theresa "in action".
2.  You still haven't met Steve Hartley.
3.  You still haven't met British Prime Minister Peter Blair.
4.  You still haven't met Edmund Parker.
5.  You still haven't met Arthur Bemming.

You can't know what you're talking about.


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## moderan

It all comes down to this:your manner makes me want to laugh at you, at your terrible earnestness and absolute faith in your own idiocy.
And you make it easy by including snippets about atheism, which you clearly misunderstand, and about theism, which you misunderstand to a similar degree. Still, nobody is faulting your work ethic, and that's a plus.
Terry has a good idea. Send me a copy and I'll review it for Motley. I'll be fair. What I think of you personally doesn't translate to your copy.
In fact, why don't you put up or shut up?


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## Jeko

> What's confusing about that?



I don't know. I haven't read the book, so I have no idea what I'm talking about. Hence, I am at every turn confused by what you say and the extracts you post.


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## Ariel

It is easy to tell that none of your college degrees has involved a single creative writing course.  Several of the members here have attempted to help you with critiques of your work but all you do is become defensive and argue about things.

It's quite the accomplishment to have finished writing any kind of book but I have to ask, are the characters coming across to us as flat and to you as fully realized because we are unattached to these characters while you are fully involved?  

I know that critiques, even kind ones, can feel like attacks but that is absolutely not what we set out to do here.  What many of our members have been trying to do for you is to help you make your book as good as it possibly can be.  We can't do that if you don't want to listen or think about our advice.  

Stop trying to sell us on an all-powerful character that is poorly depicted and get to work on making her feel "real" that is all anyone's advice has ever truly been.

Your continual attempts at selling us on this isn't endearing anyone to try your novel let alone to read it.  I like it when a book's writing speaks for itself.  And from the excerpts I have read, it doesn't.


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## empresstheresa

amsawtell said:


> I like it when a book's writing speaks for itself.  And* from the excerpts I have read*,   it doesn't.



Since you haven't read the book you don't know how it reads.  Nor can you guess what the between the lines meaning is.  

Why is this simple concept beyond the ability of people around here to understand?  

If you've never read _To Kill a Mockingbird_, and never saw the movie,  read the first 30 pages and stop.  You'll wonder what the heck this story is about.  A little girl runs around with her brother and friends.  So what?  This junk can't go anywhere, can it?


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## Deleted member 49710

ET, the problem is, if people don't like the first three chapters, they'll have no desire to shell out the $6 to read whatever follows. Think some people offer their books for free for a short promotional period in hopes of gaining reviews, something you might consider after you've changed the cover. A photo of a neighborhood teenager would be better. I'd suggest less revealing attire on Theresa, by the way. The pagination looked wonky to me, too.

Good luck and congratulations on getting your book out there.


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## dale

i looked over the 1st couple hundred words. i don't think it's entirely terrible writing, if it's aimed at grade school age kids.
i tried to remember what they gave us in like 4th and 5th grade lit. the only book i can remember really is "The Pigman", by zindel.
i didn't read enough of this empress story to compare it to that one, as far as quality....plus i remember very little of the pigman
anyway, except that i liked it. 
i don't really get the author's attitude here, though. if i believed in it as much as he portrays to here, i'd send it to motley for a review.
what's to be afraid of?


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## Ariel

empresstheresa said:


> Since you haven't read the book you don't know how it reads.  Nor can you guess what the between the lines meaning is.
> 
> Why is this simple concept beyond the ability of people around here to understand?
> 
> If you've never read _To Kill a Mockingbird_, and never saw the movie,  read the first 30 pages and stop.  You'll wonder what the heck this story is about.  A little girl runs around with her brother and friends.  So what?  This junk can't go anywhere, can it?



I'm so sorry you have that attitude.  Good luck to you.


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## Terry D

empresstheresa said:


> You can't know what you're talking about.



I know enough to say that what you have given us is uninteresting.  A book must engage the reader from the beginning.  You owe your audience a story which they can connect with from the very start, not a promise that if they just wait long enough it will get good.  There is nothing in those first chapters to convince me of that, or even to suggest that it will.  Sure, there might be more action, but why should I care?  Because you say so?  That shows an amazing level of hubris on the part of the author.  

This is my last post about this book, and I suggest that everyone else drop it also.  This book has received far more attention on these forums than it deserves.


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## moderan

Agreed. I made the offer to have someone "know what he's talking about". That's the fairest one I can make. I won't buy the product-neither it nor the author's effort has sold that to me.
I'll repeat that-Norman, you may peruse my 25 or so offerings on Motley, Amazon and/or Goodreads for examples. You have my word that I'll be fair as a reviewer. The Motley Press has a circulation of some thousands and would put the fact of the existence of your work before many new eyes-the circulation of that periodical isn't the same as the membership here.
A review of your work on Motley would put your offering in a professional context. You're not going to sell books by arguing with people on a writing forum. That's a quixotic errand at best. If your work is of such a standard as you seem to think, this is a no-brainer.
You could also choose to have any other Motley reviewer review your book. But you'd probably have to ask nicely.
That's as fair a shake as I can give you. This and related threads have devolved from circus into carny, and I'll not throw out any more chickens.


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## Lewdog

Terry D said:


> I know enough to say that what you have given us is uninteresting.  A book must engage the reader from the beginning.  You owe your audience a story which they can connect with from the very start, not a promise that if they just wait long enough it will get good.  There is nothing in those first chapters to convince me of that, or even to suggest that it will.  Sure, there might be more action, but why should I care?  Because you say so?  That shows an amazing level of hubris on the part of the author.
> 
> This is my last post about this book, and I suggest that everyone else drop it also.  This book has received far more attention on these forums than it deserves.



I have to strongly disagree here.  Millions of people every weekend tune in to watch NASCAR races waiting sometimes several hours through stupid yellow flags and rain delays, just waiting for a horrific wreck.


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## moderan

You don't understand how it works. Terry has the means to enforce his wish;his entreaty was not unsubtle.


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## Lewdog

moderan said:


> You don't understand how it works. Terry has the means to enforce his wish;his entreaty was not unsubtle.



I wasn't posting about the book, it was just a joke about what Terry said.


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## Staff Deployment

empresstheresa said:


> The Best Picture award is voted on by all members of the Academy including the many thousands of actors.  Do you think Sandra Bullock and Demi Moore are going to vote for a movie starring a teenaged actress?  Dream on!



:-| why must you torture me in this way

Quick link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Academy_Award#Voters

"All AMPAS members must be invited to join by the Board of Governors, on behalf of Academy Branch Executive Committees. Membership eligibility may be achieved by a competitive nomination or a member may submit a name based on other significant contribution to the field of motion pictures."

Demi Moore is a dubious candidate.

EDIT: Yep that is my total contribution to this thread, g'night folks! (tips hat and tap-dances away)
(it's actually half past nine in the morning here)
(irrelevant)


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## Jeko

> If you've never read _To Kill a Mockingbird_



I was wondering when Mr Lee would be brought up again.

If a group of writers aren't inspired to read your book from the first 30 pages, or think anything good enough about it to want to purchase it, then why on earth do you think you have a chance of making money from this stale project?

Or is the publishing of your book on Amazon just a further opportunity for you to shout at some more 'unworthy' reviewers? Because it won't sell. But I can guarantee you'll get some frank members of the public share their opinion on it eventually.



> Since you haven't read the book you don't know how it reads. Nor can you guess what the between the lines meaning is.



Then why did you make a thread about it in a _critique _section of the forum?

(thanks to whoever moved the thread to publishing)


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## hiatus

:rofl: I've been reading this for the past couple of days. I wonder how long this argument will last? anyone want to place the bets? I mean Jesus what's the point of arguing with someone who just doesn't get it? It doesn't matter if ten or ten thousand say the same thing about it, he will never get it... I mean I see this, so does Terry so does anyone else? Stop feeding this guy.


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## moderan

Lewdog said:


> I wasn't posting about the book, it was just a joke about what Terry said.  :grin:


Unclear at best.  Sorry.





hiatus said:


> :rofl: I've been reading this for the past couple of days. I wonder how long this argument will last? anyone want to place the bets? I mean Jesus what's the point of arguing with someone who just doesn't get it? It doesn't matter if ten or ten thousand say the same thing about it, he will never get it... I mean I see this, so does Terry so does anyone else? Stop feeding this guy.


Lots of people see it. They just disregard that for amusement's sake. That the poster in question keeps at it speaks well for his integrity and perseverance, if not his judgement in horse-backing.
People have tried to help after all. I've pointed out some of the many similar (and better-executed) turns on this plotline, that could be read and magpied in order to make the work more interesting.
We're essentially talking about a repeat of Pippi Longstocking here, and the empowering thingaroo might as well be a twonky or _any-other_ McGuffin. Make the empress theresa ten, keep her ten like two Jefftys, give her Lucy van Pelt's personality, and do the Gomez twist, and it might actually be a winner as a children's adventure/satire. I think the gimmick ploy of trying to sell this to Catholics on the basis that the protagonist is of that persuasion is a doomed and foolish notion akin to trying to sell Sarah Palin to women as a potential candidate based on her gender and not her qualifications;a fool's errand at best.
But old Norm persists, blithely ignoring all of that.
I have a copy now. My wife spent the six bucks to stop all of the evil chuckling and hand-rubbing I was indulging in.
So there ya go, Mr. Boutin. A sale!
So....sorry, Terry. I'm not trying to do the -last-word-getting thing, really, but I have the thing. If you have a kindle, I'm allowed to share.


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## JosephB

Actually, the cover kind of works in a campy, bad-on-purpose way. Sort  of an outsider, folk art style, reminiscent of Howard Finster. The  figure of the woman is a little creepy -- I'm drawn to the oddly  rendered cleavage -- but maybe that's just me. If the title and pasted  on notes  were hand-written (or in a good, rough "handwritten" font), and if the title was much bigger -- you  might be able to pull it off. It would also work better if it was more  dense -- less of that weak blue background, maybe add a border. Look up  Finster or maybe Mark Bechter -- you'll see what I mean.


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## empresstheresa

JosephB said:


> Actually, the cover kind of works in a campy, bad-on-purpose way. Sort  of an outsider, folk art style, reminiscent of Howard Finster. The  figure of the woman is a little creepy -- I'm drawn to the oddly  rendered cleavage -- but maybe that's just me. If the title and pasted  on notes  were hand-written (or in a good, rough "handwritten" font), and if the title was much bigger -- you  might be able to pull it off. It would also work better if it was more  dense -- less of that weak blue background, maybe add a border. Look up  Finster or maybe Mark Bechter -- you'll see what I mean.



Thank you for your objective, intelligent comments, Joseph.

The painting I did looks much better that the KINDLE cover.  As I said before the software for my Kodak camera doesn't work, so I'm working on the MY PICTURES copy and will update the cover soon.  It takes a lot work using PAINT.  The blue on KINDLE was a big surprise and it's terrible.  I'm working on it.  Why not buy another camera from a different make?  I've already made changes in MY PICTURES and they're not on my painting!   :disturbed:

And yes, I have been thinking along the lines of your comment:  _cover kind of works in a campy, bad-on-purpose way.........
but for a slightly different reason.
I wanted the cover to tell readers who had never heard of the book something about the nature of the story.  There's a jet fighter, a Boeing 747, the White House, the British Parliament building,  a five star general's shoulder insignia,  some kind of explosion, and what's that on the upper right corner?  Theresa is holding the world in her hands.  Easy to guess she's not just studying geography. 
Unless the cover designer and author is a pathological liar, this cover tells the reader this is not another story about a teenage girl agonizing about her boring life.

But, along the lines of your comment, this requires sacrificing the "museum quality painting" aspect of some book covers.  I thought the message was worth the sacrifice
=========================

I've sent an email to Amazon asking if there's a way I can change the LOOK INSIDE! sample pages.  Amazon chose them and they don't give a fair "sample" of the book._


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## moderan

CMYK color profile. Google it.


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## Terry D

moderan said:


> So....sorry, Terry. I'm not trying to do the -last-word-getting thing, really, but I have the thing. If you have a kindle, I'm allowed to share.



Not a problem, mod.  Mine was just a suggestion.  I have a Kindle, but there's no need to share.  I have too many decent books in queue now to waste any more time on this one.  Thanks for the offer.


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## JosephB

empresstheresa said:


> The painting I did looks much better that  the KINDLE cover.  As I said before the software for my Kodak camera  doesn't work, so I'm working on the MY PICTURES copy and will update the  cover soon.  It takes a lot work using PAINT.  The blue on KINDLE was a  big surprise and it's terrible.  I'm working on it.  Why not buy  another camera from a different make?  I've already made changes in MY  PICTURES and they're not on my painting!



Even under the best of circumstances, a digital reproduction is never  going to look as good as original art. But if you're using a point and  shoot without a stand and proper copy lighting, it's going to be even  harder -- especially if you don't have Photoshop or another photo  editing application that will allow you to adjust the color, contrast,  etc. If you are going to redo the art, and you really should --  especially the main figure -- you should do it at a size that will fit  on a scanner bed -- you'll get a much better image that way. If you  don't have a photo editing application, it shouldn't be hard to find  someone who does -- give him the original art so he can make the  appropriate adjustments.



empresstheresa said:


> And yes, I have been thinking along the lines of your comment:  _cover kind of works in a campy, bad-on-purpose way.........
> but for a slightly different reason.
> I wanted the cover to tell readers who had never heard of the book something about the nature of the story.  _



It's obvious WHY you included the images and captions. As far as the  cover goes overall, I don't know anything about the book -- but the  tone of the cover -- if you're going with this as something fun and  campy -- would indicate something with some humor or irony. If it's dead  serious -- there's a big disconnect -- and I don't think it's really going  to work.


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## JosephB

moderan said:


> CMYK color profile. Google it.



The cover is for Kindle and for display on the Amazon site and the web in general -- so the color profile should be RGB. CMYK is for print.


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## moderan

:thumbl:
Thanks, Ace.


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## JosephB

Heh. No problem, bro. The upload will accept a JPEG with either profile -- and it really doesn't matter all that much. As you likely know, color varies quite a bit depending on the display -- sweating too hard over nuance with a photo or artwork is kind of waste of time. You have to take your best guess and end up with something that you think will look good on a variety of displays. But it makes more sense to start off and edit in RGB. Where it really matters is when you're going to print -- then the profile has to be CMYK.


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## Kryptex

Apologies, but where can I find this book, its cover and its excerpts?

Interested to see what all the fuss is about, surely it can't be THAT bad.

Although from a viewpoint from the outside, your attitude (dear OP), is less than satisfactory. You'll need to be open to criticism, no matter how much you love your work.

Remember that there are ALWAYS better people than you out there, and (usually) they want to help - not hinder.

And I have yet to come across a demeaning statement in our criticism area, so I'd really suggest you relax a little.


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## Terry D

Kryptex said:


> Apologies, but where can I find this book, its cover and its excerpts?
> 
> Interested to see what all the fuss is about, surely it can't be THAT bad.
> 
> Although from a viewpoint from the outside, your attitude (dear OP), is less than satisfactory. You'll need to be open to criticism, no matter how much you love your work.
> 
> Remember that there are ALWAYS better people than you out there, and (usually) they want to help - not hinder.
> 
> And I have yet to come across a demeaning statement in our criticism area, so I'd really suggest you relax a little.



Go to the Amazon.com Kindle Store and search for Empress Theresa.


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## Kyle R

Best of luck with your book! Congrats on self-publishing it. That's a feat that, despite any criticism received, deserves commending. Bravo! :encouragement:


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## Apple Ice

I'm a teenager and so therefore the target audience i believe. After reading through the comments this book has great appeal to me simply due to it being notorious now. I would very much like to read it and give it a fair review, not taking in to account anything said on here. Although I'm afraid I'm old school and don't have a Kindle. Is there any way to read it without one?


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## Potty

Apple Ice said:


> I'm a teenager and so therefore the target audience i believe. After reading through the comments this book has great appeal to me simply due to it being notorious now. I would very much like to read it and give it a fair review, not taking in to account anything said on here. Although I'm afraid I'm old school and don't have a Kindle. Is there any way to read it without one?



If you manage to get hold of a copy, Motley Press may be interested in your review. Send it our way when you're done and let the editorial team glance over it. You never know


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## empresstheresa

Apple Ice said:


> I'm a teenager and so therefore the target audience i believe. After reading through the comments this book has great appeal to me simply due to it being notorious now. I would very much like to read it and give it a fair review, not taking in to account anything said on here. Although I'm afraid I'm old school and don't have a Kindle. Is there any way to read it without one?



Apple Ice,
You are the target audience in the sense that it's mostly the young that buy books about the young, with notable exceptions of course,
but Empress Theresa didn't start out as a Young Adult novel. Originally it was 155 pages longer and contained material that would only be of interest to older people. ( Things like the speed of an SR-71 Blackbird, the geneology of Theresa's family back to an Irish immigrant in the 1870s, etc )   Then, after reading the Hunger Games books eleven months ago, I realized ET screamed to be a young adult novel.  
However, the between-the-lines meanings and themes are all still there for anybody who wants to dig for them.  

Empress Theresa has a touch of science fiction to it.  There's an alien entity which some people may say is unlikely to exist which I agree, but nobody can absolutely positively say it can't  exist.  Anyway, if you can get across that line, Theresa goes through experiences that you've never seen anywhere else.  The questions is always the same when you're reading a story: what would I do in that situation?

Currently the book is only on KINDLE.  If you're not a published author, it's extremely difficult to get a print publisher interested in your work.  If you are a published author, it seems like you can plagiarize the 1920 New York telephone directory and get that published.   I hope that someday ET will be on the shelves of the Wal-Mart book section.


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## Travers

Apple Ice said:


> I'm a teenager and so therefore the target audience i believe. After reading through the comments this book has great appeal to me simply due to it being notorious now. I would very much like to read it and give it a fair review, not taking in to account anything said on here. Although I'm afraid I'm old school and don't have a Kindle. Is there any way to read it without one?



If you go to Amazon, Apple Ice, you can get a kindle app for your pc, phone or tablet. I use it on my laptop and it's surprisingly readable.


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## moderan

In other words, Norman decided to try to jump on the YA bandwagon when he couldn't get any reputable print publisher interested in his property.


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## Apple Ice

Potty - That sounds good to me, i will be in contact when I read it then. Thanks very much.

empress thresa - Thank you for taking the time to explain it and its origins. I will download and read it and let you know how I found it if you wish.

Travers -  Ah I never knew that, i appreciate you letting me know, i will most certainly be using that from now on i think.


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## Potty

empresstheresa said:


> I only had sixteen rejection slips when I considered the Young Adult version. -- The great novelist Ernest Hemingway supposedly had one hundred rejection slips before getting his first novel published.



J.K Rowling got twelve... I wonder how many youngsters can quote Hemingway.


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## moderan

empresstheresa said:


> You'll notice, Apple Ice, the hypocrisy around here.
> People say I have a bad attitude, but look at the above quote.
> I hope you never become like that.


I haven't been the least bit hypocritical when it comes to this piece of work. You might try looking in the mirror, Normy. Accusing people of hypocrisy is certainly negative.
I'm not holier than thou. But I'm not going around telling everyone that my jury-rigged YA novel is the answer to their life's problems, either.
Hack.
*cough*


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## squidtender

Alright, this thread has run its course and I'm starting to not enjoy the tone. Thread closed.


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