# Making Your Characters Sexuality Vague



## S1E9A8N5 (Feb 13, 2009)

How do you go about making your characters sexuality ambiguous?  I would like to have my character be bisexual or at least to have had a "past" but I don't know how to go about making it vague so that it's up to the reader to decide what he/she thinks about their sexuality.

Can you recommend any novels that do this with their characters?  I would appricate it.


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## alanmt (Feb 13, 2009)

subtle communications that may or may not be flirting with members of both sexes

subtle exchanges that express a history between them and cameo characters without expressly stating what that history is

I guess subtlety is the order of the day


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## SparkyLT (Feb 13, 2009)

I have a (rather minor, I admit) character who simply mentions her "partner". People'll probably assume said partner is male, so I haven't decided yet if we'll actually meet her. Though I guess that doesn't really apply here - never mind.

Can't think of any novels for you, but I guess I would just second Alanmt's advice.


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## JosephB (Feb 13, 2009)

Name the character Pat.


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## SparkyLT (Feb 13, 2009)

JosephB said:


> Name the character Pat.


Or Jessy, while we're being smart alecks :roll:


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## seigfried007 (Feb 13, 2009)

Actually, when I hear 'partner', I generally assume one of the same sex (esp if character is female) because, otherwise, the partner is usually referred to as a 'boyfriend'. "Partner" tends to be used by more passive or reserved people.


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## S1E9A8N5 (Feb 13, 2009)

> I have a (rather minor, I admit) character who simply mentions her "partner". People'll probably assume said partner is male, so I haven't decided yet if we'll actually meet her.


 
If a girl or guy refers to their love interest as "partner", I would assume their bisexual or gay and are talking about the same sex. I don't know why any _straight_ couple would refer to their girlfriend or boyfriend as "partner". But maybe it's just me. :-k


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## dwellerofthedeep (Feb 13, 2009)

Make the character as neutral as possible to everyone else or make them react in similar ways to everyone.  That doesn't sound right.  Basically, I think simply not filling in some of the blanks is a good way to start.


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## SparkyLT (Feb 13, 2009)

To Seig and S1E9A8N5: Okok, I got the point, guys. This partner was first though to be a business partner, in my defense. The conversation went thusly, if you must know (it's a script):

Fang: My partner . . . is supposed to be meeting me here tomorrow.

Küren: But…?

Fang: Well, Nova’s working in Enforcer [police] space right now. There’s always that danger of never coming back. See, we split up for work, and meet together outside Enforcer space. We don’t have much time together before one of us is hired away again.

Küren: Why don’t you just take jobs for two?

[Explaination stuff that would make no sense.]

Küren: So, then…how can you be partners?

Fang (blinks in confusion): I didn’t mean—oh. No, no, no, I didn’t mean work partners. We’re engaged.


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## seigfried007 (Feb 13, 2009)

Alan and dwellerofthedeep had really good ideas. 

Flirting with no one gives no clues, so you can have whatever the case is pop out as a surprise later. Flirting with everyone usually is understood as bi, so if you do it subtly it won't come off as much of a shock, but will be ambiguous enough for some. You're better off downplaying the hints with the character's seen actions and playing them up from backstage (second- or third-hand observations)

Also, if the person has a romance and talks about it, you can give the partner an ambiguous/unisex/foreign name. For instance, Sasha is a male name in Russia, but a female name in the States; Pat can be Patrick or Patricia; technically here Ira can be either (all the ones I've met are male, but it's listed as unisex in baby name books) and Hillary is usually a girl's name even though it started out as a boy's (and has a distinctly male meaning).


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## S1E9A8N5 (Feb 13, 2009)

seigfried007 said:


> You're better off downplaying the hints with the character's seen actions and playing them up from backstage (second- or third-hand observations)


Can you elaborate on this?  I'm not entirely familar with _writing_ lingo.


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## seigfried007 (Feb 13, 2009)

Wasn't aware that I was using writing lingo, sorry.

Say you've got an office setting. You want Bob to come off as a bit ambiguous, so when people ask him about his love life, he says he's married to Paris and they have a little girl. If he's wanting to be vague, he'll avoid using pronouns. Or you can have a guy and/or gal chatting about this fabulous weekend they had with Bobby back in college (third-hand info would be if Joe heard that Bobby gave good head.). Your character might wonder if Bobby is the same Bob from work. 

With hearsay, it doesn't matter what the partner in the pictures stuck to his cubicle walls is. Paris could be either (Paris Hilton vs Paris of Troy), but if someone brings up Bobby giving good head or being a sucker for voluminous bush and succulent jugs, then, hey, you've got some ambiguity.


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## S1E9A8N5 (Feb 13, 2009)

seigfried007 said:


> Wasn't aware that I was using writing lingo, sorry.
> 
> Say you've got an office setting. You want Bob to come off as a bit ambiguous, so when people ask him about his love life, he says he's married to Paris and they have a little girl. If he's wanting to be vague, he'll avoid using pronouns. Or you can have a guy and/or gal chatting about this fabulous weekend they had with Bobby back in college (third-hand info would be if Joe heard that Bobby gave good head.). Your character might wonder if Bobby is the same Bob from work.
> 
> With hearsay, it doesn't matter what the partner in the pictures stuck to his cubicle walls is. Paris could be either (Paris Hilton vs Paris of Troy), but if someone brings up Bobby giving good head or being a sucker for voluminous bush and succulent jugs, then, hey, you've got some ambiguity.


Thanks, I appriciate it.


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## Eluixa (Feb 13, 2009)

You might find the 'assassins apprentice' and the eight books that follow, interesting. The fool is the character you'd be looking for. He/she, is in all the books if I remember right. Robin Hobb. Fantasy.


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## seigfried007 (Feb 13, 2009)

Very ambiguous

=D>


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## S1E9A8N5 (Feb 14, 2009)

Eluixa said:


> You might find the 'assassins apprentice' and the eight books that follow, interesting. The fool is the character you'd be looking for. He/she, is in all the books if I remember right. Robin Hobb. Fantasy.


I was also looking at Luck in the Shadows (Nightrunner Series) by Lynn Flewelling.  I'll make sure to favorite yours.  Thanks for the suggestion.


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## Vorrec (Oct 9, 2010)

One of my two main characters is gay. Until he falls in love with one of the antagonists, I give a few subtle hints such as the way other characters (depending on their personality) avoid the topic or make hints to the reader such as subtle comments, and in response, the character in question generally treats men better than women. 

Ex: A (gay) aggravates B (female), who leaves. C (seeing a trend) remarks, "You just don't like women, do you." A says, "nahhh." With no other references, and A being established as a darkly sarcastic, cynical, yet funny character, this can be regarded as a joke or as a hint towards A's sexuality. Make use of your character's personalities to conjure remarks or actions that would not really be out of the ordinary with them, but suggests something else also. Don't overuse it, though.

If bisexual, I guess you could dump in a bit of flirting with both sexes. That's about it. Subtle, no conclusions made.


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## chicagnosticjew (Oct 9, 2010)

I would say worst comes to worst just don't overthink it. Most ambiguities in my writing come from the lack of proper planning, it's just that I never thought to use that as an asset.


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## JosephB (Oct 9, 2010)

S1E9A8N5 said:


> If a girl or guy refers to their love interest as "partner", I would assume their bisexual or gay and are talking about the same sex.



When someone refers to his love interest as "partner,"  I assume he's a cowboy.


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## Purple.Head.Rush (Oct 15, 2010)

I have a similar question. If I'm trying to make the gender unknown throughout a whole short story, how would I go about it. (As if you were talking about watching someone but they were too androgynous to be sure their gender.) What kind of pronouns should I use? I feel "it" make him/her sound inhuman or degraded.


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## mwd (Oct 15, 2010)

You can use "they".  Much less awkward than "it", in my opinion.


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## Purple.Head.Rush (Oct 15, 2010)

That's what I'm thinking I'm going to end up doing, but I feel I'm insinuating a plural most of the time when using they/their. I.E. "The platform on their boots hit the cement in a repetitive thud with every step they took."


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## S1E9A8N5 (Oct 15, 2010)

Purple.Head.Rush said:


> That's what I'm thinking I'm going to end up doing, but I feel I'm insinuating a plural most of the time when using they/their. I.E. "The platform on their boots hit the cement in a repetitive thud with every step they took."


It does sound like you're talking about more than one person...  I also think overusing that would tip the reader off that something is up with the character. Why not just use his/her name?  Just give him/her a name that could suit both sexes.  Either way, the reader who thinks the character is a male will be shocked to find out it's a female and vice versa.  Or use both.


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## mwd (Oct 16, 2010)

Purple.Head.Rush said:


> That's what I'm thinking I'm going to end up doing, but I feel I'm insinuating a plural most of the time when using they/their. I.E. "The platform on their boots hit the cement in a repetitive thud with every step they took."


Some usage experts might frown at it, but using "they" in the singular has been done for a long time.  When you introduce the character, make it clear they're just one person, and it should be clear.

Also you can write your story in such a way as to use as little pronouns as possible, avoiding sentences like the one you've quoted.


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## sorenromuno (Oct 16, 2010)

A few years back, I read 'A Separate Peace' by John Knowles. The main character's best friend, Finny, confuses me. He wears pink. He acts feminine. And although the writer never states it, I believe Finny was supposed to be gay. At first this seemed strange, but after rereading certain parts, this seemed to make more sense. He is the most memorable character from the whole book and my favorite.


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## Scarlett_156 (Oct 16, 2010)

To my way of thinking, a "sexually ambiguous" character would be attractive to just about everyone he or she encountered--that is, the other characters in the story--and would be getting hit on by everybody, regardless of orientation.  Also, the other characters who are attracted to him/her would NOT be expressing within the narrative that their hopes to gain your protagonist's favor were groundless because he/she didn't like whatever it was they were holding out.  In other words, you have to make it look like everybody IN THE STORY has an equal chance with your protagonist, and a more or less equal expectation of success. 

If the writer wants for the character's sexuality to remain "ambiguous" to the reader, then the character will receive all advances with equal decorum, and not be offended--but at the same time, his/her own preferences would not be overtly expressed within the narrative of the story. 

In other words, the ambiguity would have to be created within the READER'S mind, and not the character's.  The character can have no ambiguity regarding his/her sexual orientation unless he is confused about what he's finding himself attracted to, but I don't think that's what you're getting at--you're saying you want for the _reader _to be left wondering, and the only way that's gonna happen is to leave your protagonist's sex life more or less private.  The protagonist can express his preferences to the other characters, maybe, but not to the reader. 

If you show your main character in the setting of a wild sex orgy, where he's doing everybody and everything that comes along--well, again:  Does that express ambiguity?  No; rather, it leaves nothing to the imagination whatsoever!  The same goes for flirting--one often encounters such sybaritic creatures in real life, of course:  They hit on everyone and everything.  Not even your old granny, or your baby brother, is safe from their advances.  Harmless though they may be, these people are not ambiguous in the least.  

So anyway:  Think of some "characters" you've encountered in real life whose sexuality was genuinely ambiguous.  Most of the time that impression is generated how....?  first by your noticing that almost everybody is attracted to that person, and secondly when you observe that the person receiving all that attention does not categorically reject certain types of advances, while welcoming others.  

Unfortunately, using "they" or "it" to describe your protagonist is not going to do wonders for the readability of your story.  Such is the continuum we inhabit!!  If you are writing sci-fi or fantasy, then of course you have more license to make up genders and pronouns, etc., but if you are writing for and about humans on the planet Earth--if you don't use "he" and "she" to refer to individuals, the reader will become annoyed. 

If you write from first person, it is easier to make the character's sexuality ambiguous, but again--the privacy thing.  To expose the protagonist during a private moment is always to render him less ambiguous. 

Ambiguity, to my mind, is more of a passive trait than an active one. 

I hope this was helpful!


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