# Is it a matter of perseverance?



## Smith (Jul 29, 2014)

I've been writing seriously for a year now. I always enjoyed it as a little kid though, but stopped writing fiction for a good six years or so, up until last year.

Since I joined this forum I've written songs, poetry, some stuff others have called "teen angst", and short stories. But what I've also always wanted to do was write a book, and the one I'm working on right now is inspired by my own life. So it isn't like I don't know what to write about. The problem arises that I have a tendency to run out of steam. Many of you on here talk of 1500 words a day, but I'm lucky to get that in a week. My mind thinks about the story and the things I want to talk about, but I get a blank page in return. Along with this is school, soccer, friends, family, not providing too much time to sit down and write.

All that, and when I do start getting the words out, maybe I just over think things but... it's like I hate a lot of what I say, like it feels contrived, or uninteresting. Not to mention I struggle with tense, which to me is the ultimate nooby mistake aside from grammar or conventions. I guess my mind just doesn't think in one tense. Is it all a matter of perseverance? Write enough, practice enough, and tense won't be an issue? Will I eventually be able to pump out a thousand words in a sitting? Is it normal to have a dislike of your own work, or is it a sign that there is something wrong with it, or both?

I don't know, I think this post is more of a vent for frustration than anything else. Advice would be appreciated though of course.


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## bookmasta (Jul 29, 2014)

It depends on what you want to get out of this. If its just for your own personal enjoyment at the current level you're at, then keep writing. But if you have ambitions of getting published, self publishing, ect, its going to take more. To thrive in this industry you need a lot of commitment and dedication. Argo, perseverance is one of the traits required to be successful.


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## aj47 (Jul 29, 2014)

I don't write like that.  There, I've said it.  I'm a programmer (student right now) who writes for the joy of it.  That doesn't prevent me from submitting my work.

Books is right though -- how you approach it should vary with what your ultimate aim is.  I'm too nice to write about my life. Except under a pseudonym and you won't see that work on this forum. I also don't intend to publish that work.

I also don't have enough complex ideas to build a novel. I write short fiction and poetry.


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## EmmaSohan (Jul 29, 2014)

If you are thinking of exciting scenes in your mind, IMO that's the hardest part of being a writer. Congratulations.

If you can't get the scenes on paper the way you want, that's the craft of being a writer. Practice, learn, practice. Repeat as needed.

If you are too busy worrying about tense to write, stop worrying about tense. You can fix that later, easy. Everyone agrees -- get the ideas down on paper. (Or maybe it's fine, Swift mixed tenses in Love Story and it sold over 8 million copies. Laughing at that, but I am experimenting with mixing tenses.)


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## Sam (Jul 29, 2014)

Equal parts perseverance, discipline, and stubbornness.


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## Nickleby (Jul 29, 2014)

If you are a writer, as opposed to someone who writes, you won't have a problem with perseverence. It's more of a compulsion. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Oh wait, it doesn't get easier. Your best story is always the next one, that is, you're always trying to improve.

Little grammar thingies like tense are for editors to hash out. Tell your story. Let someone else fix the minor discrepancies.


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## InstituteMan (Jul 29, 2014)

Perseverance? Yeah, sure. Or not. 

Everyone has a different experience, of course, but I have benefited greatly from working my way up in fiction length. There are skills and habits involved with writing fiction, and I have able to learn some a little bit at a time.

There are some who firmly believe in writing a set amount every single day, and that is great if it works. For me, I politely say "piffle" to that, as my life frequently intervenes. To me, maintaining forward progress matters more than hitting arbitrary benchmarks.

So, keep writing as best you can on something without stressing too much, and I suspect that you will find that things work out. Good luck!


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## Theglasshouse (Jul 29, 2014)

Any learning experience should be meaningful. If not you can't make sense of it. I consider writing the same. I use to be a teacher, and that remains true.  I think it's  good enough to be thought as good advice and has been a staple of learning. I've been picking up reading, and adapting myself to anything that comes  my way. Not  saying I  can write a epic novel  yet, but it's how I have coped with free time and stresses of  life. I don't make my life out of this. I wish I could go to college again,  but I need  to wait for  the to  make the transition to a new career. For now I am no longer as stressed as I used to be because of bad writing. It can dampen one's spirits.  But then again I try to be realistic as I can with my abilities.


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## Bishop (Jul 29, 2014)

I'm of the Sam methodology of thinking on this one.

Go. Write. Do it, and don't look back until the end. Once it's over, you can literally change anything you want about it. Everything, if you're so inclined. But what you get out of the process is actually far more important than the novel itself: Practice. Writing a book, in my experience, is as much a skill as anything else. The more you write, the better you get at it, and the more you write on a single piece of work, the better you get at working on a single piece of work. It's amazing how much better your second written novel will be than your first. I know, because compared to me first novel, my second is phenomenal. Still weak in many areas, but relative to the first book... 

Don't worry, don't plague yourself with "what ifs" and "is it bads". Just write the damn thing, and I promise you that feeling of typing "the end" after a hundred thousand words is so damn good that no matter how bad your writing is... all you'll want to do is get to the end again.


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## Morkonan (Jul 29, 2014)

Smith said:


> ... Is it all a matter of perseverance?



In order to write, you must write. If you wish to call that perseverance, that's fine. Do baseball players keep swinging at the ball in order to eventually hit it or are they just "persevering?" 



> Write enough, practice enough, and tense won't be an issue?



No.

Write well. Practice well. Then, tense won't be an issue. 



> Will I eventually be able to pump out a thousand words in a sitting?



Absolutely! In fact, you could do three or five, with no sweat. Whether or not they're words worth reading, though... That's really the question, isn't it?



> Is it normal to have a dislike of your own work, or is it a sign that there is something wrong with it, or both?



It is perfectly normal to be highly critical of your own work. If you actually care about the quality of it, you'll certainly be critical. Keep being critical of your own work! But, understand that as you learn, some of your criticisms will turn out to be a bit unfounded. And, some of what you accepted as excellent isn't quite so excellent.  But, don't let that discourage you, it happens to everyone.



> I don't know, I think this post is more of a vent for frustration than anything else. Advice would be appreciated though of course.



Stop beating yourself up, simply because you're not perfect. Go grab some books on writing and maybe an English primer you can use as a quick reference, to help with the issue you seem to be having with "tense." See how easy that is? When you're being proactive in approaching a problem, the problem magically becomes smaller, doesn't it? So, take an active part in eliminating the problems that you see in your own work. It's OK to edit! Really, it is. If it wasn't, think of all the crappy novels we'd have on the shelves! 

Lastly - When visualizing your ideas, use a writer's eye instead of a movie director's eye. Half the trouble, in my opinion, with great ideas is that they're visualized and we tend to think of them as visual scenes, like in a movie. That's fine, really, but you can't just write down "play imaginary movie" after your cover page and expect it to be a novel. As a writer, you must translate your imagination into words. It helps, immeasurably, if you keep that in mind as your visualizing a scene. "How will I write this?" "How do I translate what the character is feeling? Internal dialogue? Exposition? Do they simply shout it out in words?" "Should I start off the scene in the middle of the action or should I lead up to it?" Think about things like that. Think about "words" that go with that scene. If a character is walking on snow in your imagination, their footsteps are "crunching on the snow" in your written story, aren't they? So, you remember to use the word "crunch" and you write that down in your scene notes.

Visualize like a writer and you'll find your imaginings will be much more useful and easier to write down.


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## Smith (Jul 30, 2014)

bookmasta said:


> It depends on what you want to get out of this. If its just for your own personal enjoyment at the current level you're at, then keep writing. But if you have ambitions of getting published, self publishing, ect, its going to take more. To thrive in this industry you need a lot of commitment and dedication. Argo, perseverance is one of the traits required to be successful.



I do write for personal enjoyment first. However, I also do have intentions of one day being published. So I agree, I need to keep practicing, persevere, and train myself. It'll take focus, time, and effort but it's what I like to do, what I think I am good at, and thus will be worth it. 



astroannie said:


> I don't write like that.  There, I've said it.  I'm a programmer (student right now) who writes for the joy of it.  That doesn't prevent me from submitting my work.
> 
> Books is right though -- how you approach it should vary with what your ultimate aim is.  I'm too nice to write about my life. Except under a pseudonym and you won't see that work on this forum. I also don't intend to publish that work.
> 
> I also don't have enough complex ideas to build a novel. I write short fiction and poetry.



By "write like that" I assume you meant my concerns about a word amount goal, and / or books.

I enjoy writing those those things too. By "I'm too nice" what exactly did you mean? I only ask because I would like to know if there is something wrong with writing about one's own life.



EmmaSohan said:


> If you are thinking of exciting scenes in your mind, IMO that's the hardest part of being a writer. Congratulations.
> 
> If you can't get the scenes on paper the way you want, that's the craft of being a writer. Practice, learn, practice. Repeat as needed.
> 
> If you are too busy worrying about tense to write, stop worrying about tense. You can fix that later, easy. Everyone agrees -- get the ideas down on paper. (Or maybe it's fine, Swift mixed tenses in Love Story and it sold over 8 million copies. Laughing at that, but I am experimenting with mixing tenses.)



Thanks, I've always appreciated my creativity and imagination. It's just a matter of doing the work to bring it to life.

I agree, I've been realizing that my issue is over-thinking. Somebody on the forum had this really good quote that said, "Write with your heart first. Rewrite with your head." Or similar to that. Anyway, when I just let the words flow freely, even though sometimes there are quite a few fragments or errors with tense, it does make sense to just worry about that later, or even have others who are knowledgeable (especially more so than me) look it over.



Sam said:


> Equal parts perseverance, discipline, and stubbornness.



Will keep it in mind, thank-you. ^_^



Nickleby said:


> If you are a writer, as opposed to someone who writes, you won't have a problem with perseverence. It's more of a compulsion. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Oh wait, it doesn't get easier. Your best story is always the next one, that is, you're always trying to improve.
> 
> Little grammar thingies like tense are for editors to hash out. Tell your story. Let someone else fix the minor discrepancies.



I can't say it is a compulsion, but yeah, I do feel guilty when I don't write. Like I'm cutting myself short, not doing what I should be doing. What I'm good at. All day there is a nagging that it's what I should be doing, or at least reading or something, if I don't write. I'll be sure to keep practicing, and I'm with you on "the next story is always better". I've seen a lot of professional fiction writers look back at their previous works, especially their first stuff, and cringe.

Thanks, I'll try to focus more on telling the story first, and worry about the little corrections later.



InstituteMan said:


> Perseverance? Yeah, sure. Or not.
> 
> Everyone has a different experience, of course, but I have benefited greatly from working my way up in fiction length. There are skills and habits involved with writing fiction, and I have able to learn some a little bit at a time.
> 
> ...



Makes sense that every writer has different ways of coping and doing things. So far I've found that even simple things such as getting off my computer, and continuing my writing on paper helps, especially going to another room or getting out of the house entirely, all help. And telling myself to "just write" no matter how bad I think it is, or how flawed it is, helps too. I think I'll make a goal of ~1000 words a day, but not worry about it too much, because I know what you mean about other things in life getting in the way.


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## Smith (Jul 30, 2014)

Bishop said:


> I'm of the Sam methodology of thinking on this one.
> 
> Go. Write. Do it, and don't look back until the end. Once it's over, you can literally change anything you want about it. Everything, if you're so inclined. But what you get out of the process is actually far more important than the novel itself: Practice. Writing a book, in my experience, is as much a skill as anything else. The more you write, the better you get at it, and the more you write on a single piece of work, the better you get at working on a single piece of work. It's amazing how much better your second written novel will be than your first. I know, because compared to me first novel, my second is phenomenal. Still weak in many areas, but relative to the first book...
> 
> Don't worry, don't plague yourself with "what ifs" and "is it bads". Just write the damn thing, and I promise you that feeling of typing "the end" after a hundred thousand words is so damn good that no matter how bad your writing is... all you'll want to do is get to the end again.



I will do just that, keep writing. Thank you man, my heart beats for The End. ... If that can make sense without being a bit morbid. 



Morkonan said:


> In order to write, you must write. If you wish to call that perseverance, that's fine. Do baseball players keep swinging at the ball in order to eventually hit it or are they just "persevering?"
> 
> No.
> 
> ...



Will definitely continue to keep writing and practicing to the best of my ability. 

Wow, I never even thought of it that way. It's interesting you say that, because when I was really little I also thought of being a director or writing movie scripts, and now I understand why. Because I'm always imagining these epic battle scenes or whatever visually. It never occurred to me, as you said, to try and convert it to writing at the same time. Think of what they're feeling. How to describe that, the environment, etc. Very helpful.

---

I appreciate it, truly, everybody who has given me advice and will do so in the future. Time to pick up a few books, and get back to my writing and reading. Just have to enjoy it, tell the story, and once that's done I can really worry about all the editing and revision. I'm feeling much better, thanks guys!


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## aj47 (Jul 30, 2014)

See me in your inbox.  I may have said too much already here.


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## Smith (Jul 30, 2014)

astroannie said:


> See me in your inbox.  I may have said too much already here.



Will do friend.


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## Marc (Jul 30, 2014)

It's a process. Practice on what POV feels most accessible. First person, third person etc... Read the type of writing you aspire to write. Study how famous or not-so-famous folks write.


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## ppsage (Jul 31, 2014)

For me it's about the same effort to sit down daily and get a coherent 1500 word piece written about something that's on my mind, and getting even a third of that farther on a long fiction story that will need tens of thousands of words. Then once in a while there's a better day. But I hardly ever get in a long fiction groove that lasts long enough to be fun, or even usual. It's just a thing, I guess.


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## Smith (Jul 31, 2014)

Marc said:


> It's a process. Practice on what POV feels most accessible. First person, third person etc... Read the type of writing you aspire to write. Study how famous or not-so-famous folks write.



I will be sure to continue to do that. 



ppsage said:


> For me it's about the same effort to sit down daily and get a coherent 1500 word piece written about something that's on my mind, and getting even a third of that farther on a long fiction story that will need tens of thousands of words. Then once in a while there's a better day. But I hardly ever get in a long fiction groove that lasts long enough to be fun, or even usual. It's just a thing, I guess.



Thanks, I am so relieved I'm not the only one who struggles. To a lot of people it sounds like such a breeze, and it used to actually make me question if I was good enough. Not anymore. I will continue to work hard and just accept the fact it is a struggle, but worth it.


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## Kyle R (Jul 31, 2014)

Smith said:


> Is it all a matter of perseverance? Write enough, practice enough, and tense won't be an issue? Will I eventually be able to pump out a thousand words in a sitting? Is it normal to have a dislike of your own work, or is it a sign that there is something wrong with it, or both?



The more you do it, the better you'll get at it.

For me, it's been a combination of studying the craft (there are a lot of great books on the subject of fiction writing that can help with the learning curve) and practicing daily.

And it's totally normal to dislike your own work. That means you want to improve. It's a good thing. It's a mindset that will carry you far. 

Keep writing. Read the kinds of stories you want to write, too. And, if you feel up to it, learn what you can about the craft, as well. :encouragement:


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## Tettsuo (Jul 31, 2014)

Smith said:


> I've been writing seriously for a year now. I always enjoyed it as a little kid though, but stopped writing fiction for a good six years or so, up until last year.
> 
> Since I joined this forum I've written songs, poetry, some stuff others have called "teen angst", and short stories. But what I've also always wanted to do was write a book, and the one I'm working on right now is inspired by my own life. So it isn't like I don't know what to write about. The problem arises that I have a tendency to run out of steam. Many of you on here talk of 1500 words a day, but I'm lucky to get that in a week. My mind thinks about the story and the things I want to talk about, but I get a blank page in return. Along with this is school, soccer, friends, family, not providing too much time to sit down and write.
> 
> ...



Yes. Perseverance is key imo.  I say this because there will be times where you don't want to write, where you don't feel the scenes are perfect and are discouraged, when you find errors and have to go back and fix something, etc. The only way to get past those moments is with grit and determination.  Writing a novel is a marathon event!

And just like a runner in a marathon who loves the act of running, that doesn't mean the race isn't grueling.


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## Terry D (Jul 31, 2014)

My advice... quit. If you can. Writing is hard work. To some it is drudgery. I'm not talking about hobby writing for your own personal enjoyment; I'm talking about writing for publication. It takes commitment, which is very different from perseverance. Perseverance is a mindless trait like an ant dragging a dead beetle. Commitment is a choice. Dedication is a choice. Word count doesn't matter nearly as much as making the time commitment. Every word written is a word closer to completion, every day missed is a day you can never get back.


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## bookmasta (Jul 31, 2014)

Terry D said:


> My advice... quit. If you can. Writing is hard work. To some it is drudgery. I'm not talking about hobby writing for your own personal enjoyment; I'm talking about writing for publication. It takes commitment, which is very different from perseverance. Perseverance is a mindless trait like an ant dragging a dead beetle. Commitment is a choice. Dedication is a choice. Word count doesn't matter nearly as much as making the time commitment. Every word written is a word closer to completion, every day missed is a day you can never get back.



This is what I try to warn all of my friends about when they start talking about trying to become published.


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## escorial (Jul 31, 2014)

so easy to end up spending your working life just doing what it takes and hopefully keep the wolf from the door...imagine doing what you like for a living..big difference


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## MJ Preston (Jul 31, 2014)

Smith, my approach has always been to run full steam ahead and damn the grammar. I find if I over think in that first draft I also run out of steam. It works for me.


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## Smith (Jul 31, 2014)

Kyle R said:


> The more you do it, the better you'll get at it.
> 
> For me, it's been a combination of studying the craft (there are a lot of great books on the subject of fiction writing that can help with the learning curve) and practicing daily.
> 
> ...



I've always been wary of "How to Write" books. A couple of them gave me the feeling it was trying to tell me how to write, without allowing me to also be myself. I understand grammar and spelling. Really the only thing as far as basics that I'm trying to get down is tense, like I mentioned. For example, the first 1000 or so words of my story With Heart that I posted in the Prose Writer's Workshop I think might suffer from that issue, but I can't be sure. All I know is that in some of my past works, I've been criticized for misuse of tense without actually having it explained to me. So now I'm just constantly paranoid and not entirely sure if my tense is correct or not anymore.

Reading and writing what I am interested in is something I'll continue, as well as reading and writing other genres. Glad we agree that best way to get better is continued practice, dedication, and commitment. My mind is always open to advice, so that I have the best chances of bettering myself as a writer. :courage:



Tettsuo said:


> Yes. Perseverance is key imo.  I say this because there will be times where you don't want to write, where you don't feel the scenes are perfect and are discouraged, when you find errors and have to go back and fix something, etc. The only way to get past those moments is with grit and determination.  Writing a novel is a marathon event!
> 
> And just like a runner in a marathon who loves the act of running, that doesn't mean the race isn't grueling.



Good comparison. Football is much the same way. I play goalie, and sometimes have a bad game and get scored on more than usual. Make some mistakes. The only way is to get past it "with grit" and try even harder.



Terry D said:


> My advice... quit. If you can. Writing is hard work. To some it is drudgery. I'm not talking about hobby writing for your own personal enjoyment; I'm talking about writing for publication. It takes commitment, which is very different from perseverance. Perseverance is a mindless trait like an ant dragging a dead beetle. Commitment is a choice. Dedication is a choice. Word count doesn't matter nearly as much as making the time commitment. Every word written is a word closer to completion, every day missed is a day you can never get back.



Hmm... Interesting, will keep that in mind. But I think I have what it takes, because no matter how many times I question myself, I still push myself through and continue on writing because it is what I like to do and what I think I'm good at. Well said that word count doesn't necessarily matter as long as every day I put forth the time and 100% effort - the commitment and dedication - to put my best work on the page.



bookmasta said:


> This is what I try to warn all of my friends about when they start talking about trying to become published.



I'm only 16, so of course publishing isn't quite yet my number one concern. I'm still a greenhorn of greenhorns, and have so much to learn and need to polish my skills yet. I don't expect fame and fortune from writing. Fortunately, I also have a love for technology, and am considering working with networking and / or video games. Still, one day I hope to be published. Is there anything wrong with that? No offense meant of course, I just want to know of the dangers of being published. I'm assuming there are contracts you have to fulfill (complete x amount of books in x amount of time)?



escorial said:


> so easy to end up spending your working life just doing what it takes and hopefully keep the wolf from the door...imagine doing what you like for a living..big difference



True. I just need to remind myself not to waste time, get things done, and spend my time well and wisely. That way I can handle the necessity of school, my love for soccer, and my love for writing all at once. Not to mention friends and family. It won't be easy but it's far from impossible



MJ Preston said:


> Smith, my approach has always been to run full steam ahead and damn the grammar. I find if I over think in that first draft I also run out of steam. It works for me.



Nice to meet so many likeminded people on here about this topic. Seems like that's what many do if they're hitting "writer's block". Forget how crappy you think it is, and just get through it. You can always come back later. ^_^


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## MJ Preston (Aug 1, 2014)

Smith said:


> Nice to meet so many likeminded people on here about this topic. Seems like that's what many do if they're hitting "writer's block". Forget how crappy you think it is, and just get through it. You can always come back later. ^_^



It's not so much how crappy you think it is, but remembering that you are simply carving out the initial shape. The sanding and polishing come later. Okay with my word carving comparison out of the way, what I really mean is that if you agonize over making each sentence shine in the initial creation it is easy to lose focus on the story as a whole.

It's not so much writers block as it is exhausting. At least for me.

I considering storytelling play and editing work. I hate mixing the two.


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## Kyle R (Aug 1, 2014)

When I'm in a creative rut, I like to tell myself, "Write it badly."

At least bad prose is easy to write. And bad prose still gets the story completed.

There's always time to go back in later and turn that bad prose into excellent prose.


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## Smith (Aug 1, 2014)

MJ Preston said:


> It's not so much how crappy you think it is, but remembering that you are simply carving out the initial shape. The sanding and polishing come later. Okay with my word carving comparison out of the way, what I really mean is that if you agonize over making each sentence shine in the initial creation it is easy to lose focus on the story as a whole.
> 
> It's not so much writers block as it is exhausting. At least for me.
> 
> I considering storytelling play and editing work. I hate mixing the two.



Ah, I understand. Totally know what you mean about spending so much time on every sentence. I think that was a good part of my issue. That should definitely be saved for the editing stages.



Kyle R said:


> When I'm in a creative rut, I like to tell myself, "Write it badly."
> 
> At least bad prose is easy to write. And bad prose still gets the story completed.
> 
> There's always time to go back in later and turn that bad prose into excellent prose.



True, couldn't agree more. I will embrace this tactic, as it seems to be helping me a lot!


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## Jeko (Aug 1, 2014)

From what you've said, you're like every other writer whose ever had to learn the craft the hard way the only way possible; gradually. Which means you're doing the right thing, as long as you're still writing. So, keep it up. It's unlikely you'll ever stop finding writing hard, but that's because you'll always want it to be better. So, the more you write, the better your writing will get. 

Also, notice how its easier to complain about writing than to actually 'write'. Use that to your advantage.


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## WechtleinUns (Aug 1, 2014)

I do think that perseverance is important, but I would caution you to be wary of just forcing things down. If something is bothering you about the current way you are writing, stop, take a step back, and try to think about what that thing is. The amount of time you lose figuring out will more than be compensated for by efficiency gains later on.

This is just my two cents, but I definitely recommend getting into the "flow" of things. It's not easy, but definitely worth it when you finally do get it. Be honest with yourself, and about what's bugging you is something doesn't feel right. It will only help you in the long run.


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## Newman (Aug 8, 2014)

Smith said:


> Is it a matter of perseverance?



Analysis and perseverance.

You have to figure out how stories work. 

Blind perseverance will have you banging your head against a wall.


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## Smith (Aug 11, 2014)

I am glad I agree with all you guys. ^_^


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## MJ Preston (Mar 29, 2015)

When I was 17, I wrote the first (synopsis I suppose you would call it) for what I thought was going to be my breakout book. It was autobiographical in nature based on my use of psychedelic drugs. Back then, I was into everything. Lsd, shrooms MDA, pot, hash and of course booze. I was a teenager and I was experimenting, freeing my mind. 

Anyway, one night in the summer of 82, I, along with another guy, took 2 1/2 heaping tablespoons of powdered magic mushrooms and washed it down with a glass of vodka and orange juice. We then went to a party and proceeded to drink copious bottles of beer and smoke hash oil. 

Within an hour of arriving at the house reality went out the door and I fell into a horrific hallucinatory state of paranoia. It was terrifying and the bad trip lasted all evening. My friends put me in a room to ride it out, because they were too afraid to call an ambulance. I slipped in and out of states of consciousness and honestly could not differentiate reality from fantasy. 

Many hours later, after my body had processed enough of the drug so that I was able to regain consciousness, I left the house and walked five miles home. When I got there, I woke my mother and told her that I had just escaped a Satanic Cult. My mother, a strong Catholic, was convinced that my story was true. I was that convincing. After this confession I slept with my mother and passed out.

When I awoke the next day my mind was blank.

Over the next three months, I detoxed. I gave up everything, even pot. I went through horrible flashbacks of that night. I experienced terrible panic attacks and the only good thing to come from that night was that it scared me straight and changed my attitude. Up to that point, I had low self esteem, I lied like the sidewalk, I stole, and I had no loyalty. Throughout the flashbacks, I grappled with my sanity, I approached both the church, thinking there were demons in my midst and the mental health community thinking I was going insane. The Catholic padre who met with me was kind enough to take a psychologists stance and blamed the drug use. The therapist I saw, accused me of pandering for anti-depressants (which I was on until that moment).

I left his office, turfed the prescription into the garbage and came to the realization that i was on my own. The next few months would cost me a job and for the next year I slept with my light on. After that, I went back to school and I would eventually meet my wife at the local college. She is sleeping in the other room as I write this. That year, I penned a rough manuscript, titled: THE NIGHT IT ALL CAME DOWN. I never published it. It slipped into oblivion along with a bunch of other stuff I wrote and that was 33 years ago.

Why the long winded reply? Well, maybe that book was never meant to be written. Maybe that thumbnail sketch of my life was what got me here today and the memory is enough. I have written two full length novels, the first a straight up horror, and the second a thriller sci-fi horror. Both of these novels came  from within, every character and event had something to do with what has happened over the course of my life. I believe, that to be a good writer you must be able to observe what is around you and process it. 

So, is it a matter of perseverance? Absolutely, but time and experience are the best weapons in a storytellers arsenal. 

A little luck doesn't hurt either.


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## Monaque (Mar 29, 2015)

I can`t pretend to have the experience that others here have, especially the publishing side of writing, which I view as being the monster in the cupboard, the one you know you`ll have to face at some point but not until you have to. It`s the writing part that I love, the creative aspect, the craft of shaping sentences and paragraphs, of building a story up brick by brick. I`ve always been craft orientated so it isn`t as much of a problem for me as it is for others. I have experience in other art disciplines so know that dedication and perseverance are just as powerful skills as your talent to use a brush and shape some clay, in some ways more so. I`ve never told anyone this but I once used to sell paintings, got a little money, it was going well. Then the recession hit and my gallery closed down, and just like that I lost my sales. I can honestly say that it was the best thing that happened to me. It was scaring me how much I was beginning to hate painting those skies over and over. I`m an engineer so know about repetition, and painting those skies felt like repetition, and I could see what my life would have been like had I really "made it".
I guess no-one knows whether they will cope with being a professional in something they enjoy doing as an interest/passion. Only you can tell what you want to do, but for me, the energy to write, the thing that pushes me on when I only want to curl up and watch Captain America, is the idea. The flash of inspiration that made me want to write the thing in the first place.
If you have that, and want to write, then you have all the tools you need. I read something once from a published writer. They said, at the start, they wrote a little bit every day. A sentence, a paragraph, a page, it builds up. It gives your writing forward momentum and it places it uppermost in your mind. Everything has context, we all have busy lives, sometimes we can only fit in so much writing, maybe only a sentence. As long as you do something it keeps the story moving forward.

Start small, persevere - keep plugging away every day - and before you know it you`ll have a novel. Decide what you want to do with it then, at least you can say you`ve written one, that`s a lot more than most people will ever do.


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## BryanJ62 (Mar 29, 2015)

*The longer you do anything the more it becomes a habit.*


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## Smith (Mar 29, 2015)

MJ Preston said:


> When I was 17, I wrote the first (synopsis I suppose you would call it) for what I thought was going to be my breakout book. It was autobiographical in nature based on my use of psychedelic drugs. Back then, I was into everything. Lsd, shrooms MDA, pot, hash and of course booze. I was a teenager and I was experimenting, freeing my mind.
> 
> Anyway, one night in the summer of 82, I, along with another guy, took 2 1/2 heaping tablespoons of powdered magic mushrooms and washed it down with a glass of vodka and orange juice. We then went to a party and proceeded to drink copious bottles of beer and smoke hash oil.
> 
> ...



That sounds like one heck of a time... Reminds me of something that happened to me little over a year ago. Used to hang out with a group of friends and we did stuff like that every weekend. Well, our "stuff" wasn't quite as hard, but I see where you're coming from. Because one time it went a little too far for me, and I've stayed away from it ever since. Opened up my mind to a lot of things and I became a little more focused on improving my life.

It was kind of what inspired me to write about high-school, but now I realize the same thing you realized. That maybe it is better to not write it. At least, for now, just "fold it up and stow in a safe place and unfold in a decade or when you feel ready" as a song I like would say. What I mean, is that like you mentioned at the end of your post, I think if I do ever decide to write about all that and turn it into a book... well, I would need a whole lot more life experience and time. Besides, I'm still in high-school. So obviously I need to wait and give it consideration later.

For now, I need to write, practice, rinse-and-repeat. Thank-you so much for sharing your story with me. Nice to be able to relate with somebody who has been through similar things, but has turned out to be (in my opinion) an exceptional writer. ^_^



Monaque said:


> I can`t pretend to have the experience that others here have, especially the publishing side of writing, which I view as being the monster in the cupboard, the one you know you`ll have to face at some point but not until you have to. It`s the writing part that I love, the creative aspect, the craft of shaping sentences and paragraphs, of building a story up brick by brick. I`ve always been craft orientated so it isn`t as much of a problem for me as it is for others. I have experience in other art disciplines so know that dedication and perseverance are just as powerful skills as your talent to use a brush and shape some clay, in some ways more so. I`ve never told anyone this but I once used to sell paintings, got a little money, it was going well. Then the recession hit and my gallery closed down, and just like that I lost my sales. I can honestly say that it was the best thing that happened to me. It was scaring me how much I was beginning to hate painting those skies over and over. I`m an engineer so know about repetition, and painting those skies felt like repetition, and I could see what my life would have been like had I really "made it".
> I guess no-one knows whether they will cope with being a professional in something they enjoy doing as an interest/passion. Only you can tell what you want to do, but for me, the energy to write, the thing that pushes me on when I only want to curl up and watch Captain America, is the idea. The flash of inspiration that made me want to write the thing in the first place.
> If you have that, and want to write, then you have all the tools you need. I read something once from a published writer. They said, at the start, they wrote a little bit every day. A sentence, a paragraph, a page, it builds up. It gives your writing forward momentum and it places it uppermost in your mind. Everything has context, we all have busy lives, sometimes we can only fit in so much writing, maybe only a sentence. As long as you do something it keeps the story moving forward.
> 
> Start small, persevere - keep plugging away every day - and before you know it you`ll have a novel. Decide what you want to do with it then, at least you can say you`ve written one, that`s a lot more than most people will ever do.



Once on here I got into a debate about people doing things just for the money. I think that kind of relates to what you were talking about with painting. Sure, I understand everybody has a job and needs to pay the bills. But I appreciate what is unique so much more. When an artist puts their heart into it, and they truly care for it, I think the quality is more often superior compared to the generic and "what sells".

That's why I write for myself first. If I wouldn't read it, then I'm not going to write it. That doesn't mean other people aren't a high consideration when I'm writing, because of course I want them to enjoy it too. Of course I want to be successful and hopefully make money from what I love doing. But I want there to be a purpose greater than just monetary value. So even if I did become published, that would never change. I'd give up doing writing professionally before I became a slave to the market.



BryanJ62 said:


> *The longer you do anything the more it becomes a habit.*



So true! I think today is the day I get back to what I should be doing after a month hiatus. Going to finish this first chapter and get it posted somewhere on these forums!


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## Monaque (Mar 29, 2015)

Smith said:


> Once on here I got into a debate about people doing things just for the money. I think that kind of relates to what you were talking about with painting. Sure, I understand everybody has a job and needs to pay the bills. But I appreciate what is unique so much more. When an artist puts their heart into it, and they truly care for it, I think the quality is more often superior compared to the generic and "what sells".
> 
> That's why I write for myself first. If I wouldn't read it, then I'm not going to write it. That doesn't mean other people aren't a high consideration when I'm writing, because of course I want them to enjoy it too. Of course I want to be successful and hopefully make money from what I love doing. But I want there to be a purpose greater than just monetary value. So even if I did become published, that would never change. I'd give up doing writing professionally before I became a slave to the market.


It`s the question isn`t it, age old and still hard to pin down, because it depends on so many things. And it`s an easy debate to get into, but you`re right, writing for yourself, being true to yourself, first, is the most important thing. And it sounds like it`s working for you, you seem to be getting handle on things.
Good luck with the chapter.


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## denmark423 (Apr 29, 2015)

Just continue writing. If that would enjoy you, then don't stop.


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## Phil Istine (Apr 29, 2015)

I believe this is the first time I have noticed this thread.  I have just read it all the way through; it's as if it was written for me.  It's what I need to read.


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