# Being Fearless Has its Price



## Plasticweld (Dec 9, 2018)

Deleted by  author, permission denied for use


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## Kevin (Dec 9, 2018)

Ah.. The Silver Stallion. 
Over 50. 
This is funny. It's only going to be really funny to those who've gone through it. And then it's not funny if they found something. Maybe it's still funny, even then.


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## Plasticweld (Dec 9, 2018)

Thanks Kevin, I put this joyous occasion off until almost 60.  My theory of don't it if fix it isn't broken could only be put off for so long.  I think this was the start of that saying, that a picture is worth a 1,000 words, or in my case just a short story.


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## Guard Dog (Dec 9, 2018)

Bob, I've heard some versions of that story where the mule blows first.

...I'm guessing all involved, most especially that intern, are glad _you_ didn't. 




G.D.


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## Guard Dog (Dec 9, 2018)

Y'know, Bob, thinking about this story, and your comments, I had a couple of thoughts that probably only I would come up with:

1) A picture may be indeed worth a thousand words, however, there are some of them that ya just don't wanna put on your Christmas cards.

And...

2) Never get colonoscopy from a doctor that has aspirations to be a slide trombone player. 


...there's a couple of others concerning being a wise-cracking smart-ass at some of the damnedest times, but I figure that'll do for now.  :icon_cheesygrin:




G.D.


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## Winston (Dec 9, 2018)

Crappy story, with a joke that blows.


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## Guard Dog (Dec 11, 2018)

By the way, Bob, I should probably have said this sooner, however:

I hope you're doing well, after having somebody root around in your backside for twice as long as they probably should have.



G.D.

P.S.  I'm wondering if this would make a good sympathy card...


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## PiP (Dec 11, 2018)

Bob, this gave me an unexpected smile while eating my breakfast. You are a great storyteller as the end was completely unexpected. Having had a colonoscopy I certainly would not want to go through it again. It reminds me of the tale of the Non Conformist Sparrow 



> Once upon a time there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.[/FONT]However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to the earth and landed in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought it was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then, a large cat was walking by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.[/FONT][FONT=&Verdana]The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird and promptly ate him.[FONT=&Verdana]There are three morals to this story:
> [FONT=&Verdana]1.EVERYONE WHO SHITS ON YOU IS NOT NECESSARILY YOUR ENEMY.
> 2.EVERYONE WHO GETS YOU OUT OF THE SHIT IS NOT NECESSARILY YOUR FRIEND.
> [/FONT]3.AND,IF YOUR’E WARM AND HAPPY IN A PILE OF SHIT, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.




BTW: This line does not need an underscore (in my opinion)
Adventure is the unexpected.


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## Plasticweld (Dec 11, 2018)

Pip thanks for sharing the bit about the bird, so true. 

I wondered about underlining the 'the adventure begins'.  I wanted to set it apart from the story, I was not sure how to make a statement as an author in the middle of telling the story.   Is it not needed and does it seem out of place? If I were telling the story to a group of people I would add a dramatic pause, and then say,  really drag out 'the adventure begins'. really dragging it out.  This is one of those times where I would say it one way and maybe have to write it another.


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## PiP (Dec 11, 2018)

Plasticweld said:


> I wondered about underlining the 'the adventure begins'.  I wanted to set it apart from the story, I was not sure how to make a statement as an author in the middle of telling the story.   Is it not needed and does it seem out of place? If I were telling the story to a group of people I would add a dramatic pause, and then say,  really drag out 'the adventure begins'. really dragging it out.  This is one of those times where I would say it one way and maybe have to write it another.



Bob, I am a poet so I think we better ping one of experienced prose writers for their advice. I was only giving my POV as a reader. As the sentence stood alone I naturally paused. While the underscore made it seem like a title.


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## Guard Dog (Dec 11, 2018)

PiP said:


> Bob, I am a poet so I think we better ping one of experienced prose writers for their advice. I was only giving my POV as a reader. As the sentence stood alone I naturally paused. While the underscore made it seem like a title.



I'm certainly not an experienced writer, but I took the underscored line as a sub-title... The header for the second part of the story; comparable to a chapter title in a longer story.



G.D.


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## Phil Istine (Dec 11, 2018)

That story brought a smile to me.  Thanks, Bob.  I had a colonoscopy about 7 or 8 years ago because bowel cancer needed to be ruled out.  It was, thankfully.
I was a little chatty under the meds - I think it was a valium injection.  The response I got was a curt, "No talking!"  Nothing less than I would expect from that bastard.  I had serious trust issues because the doctor performing the scope had supervised two of my friends' deaths in the previous few years (both liver issues).  I knew enough to realise that he could have done a lot better, and his procrastination prevented one of them being listed for transplant, but ultimately, they probably wouldn't have survived anyway.

Anyway, this isn't about my story, it's about yours:

A small amount of proofreading wouldn't go amiss, but it is quite minor.  "There" appeared rather a lot early on and it did grate a little.  Maybe try writing around it to vary word use?  You hit a pet peeve of mine with your use of 'laying' (I think it should be lying). Okay, I've just noticed the "theres" were in the intro rather than the piece itself, but intros are important too as they may determine whether someone continues reading.

I did enjoy the description of the procedure, with all its yuk stuff made to sound like fun, and the humour shone through even outside the core joke.  Thoughts of pit stops and chicanes entered my head when reading about the bends inside you.

I found it entertaining to read.  Thank you.


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## kaminoshiyo (Dec 24, 2018)

This was funny, and you bore that with class 

I was a little disappointed I didn't get to find out what made the mules eyes cross, though.


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## Plasticweld (Dec 25, 2018)

kaminoshiyo said:


> This was funny, and you bore that with class
> 
> I was a little disappointed I didn't get to find out what made the mules eyes cross, though.



The answer to that is a whole other story and another joke :}


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