# Evolution of an Unrequited Love (839 words)



## Deleted member 56686 (Nov 12, 2014)

This isn't meant for critique, but I didn't know where else to put this. I'm hoping this can be of help to certain members in this forum. It might be a little painful so be prepared.


EVOLUTION OF AN UNREQUITED LOVE

         In the late nineteen-eighties, when I was younger, I fell madly in love with a co-worker of mine after she had split up with her boyfriend. It didn’t start out that way. We were originally just very good friends, but when she was essentially dumped, I felt such great sympathy for her. Somehow, a voice came into my head wondering why I couldn’t somehow be the guy for her. 

      You have to understand, this girls was about the nicest girl you could ever want to meet. She had a kind word to say to everybody. Even if you weren’t that close to her in reality, she had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the world.

      And so, I fell madly in love with her. There was only one problem. She wasn’t in love with me. It’s not that she didn’t like me as a person. I guess I just didn’t knock her socks off in a sense.

     I became a bit obsessed I must confess. Even if she couldn’t be my girlfriend, maybe I could be her most important friend. Of course that was impossible too for a couple of reasons. First off, she certainly had friends, even male friends, than she felt closer to than to me; and secondly, I had a very close platonic friendship with another girl, she really was my best friend in all senses of the world. You see while I may be unlucky in love; I’ve always had a circle of female friends including the girl I was madly in love with.

      I never really got what I wanted from this girl. If I had an inkling that maybe she was mad at me for some indescribable reason, as if I ever gave her any reason to, I would become very depressed. I would always attempt to seek her. I knew when she worked usually, so I would always plan to hang out near her car so I could talk to her, just to make sure everything was okay. It never occurred to me at the time, but I was essentially stalking this girl that I truly loved; a person who indeed would never hurt a fly. I would never in my wildest dreams do anything to hurt her, of course, and somehow I think she knew that. Still, it annoyed her as I was able to find out through my true close platonic friend, who thankfully stood by me throughout my self-inflicted crisis.

      It got more complicated when this girl fell in love with a close male friend of mine. She talked to me about it, as she didn’t want it to affect my friendship with him, or with her. It didn’t with him as deep inside I understood, but I remained obsessed with the need to be important in her eyes.

      One day, I heard from her now boyfriend that she didn’t want to hang with me anymore. That did it, and that night I bought a bottle of sleeping pills. I was going to do myself in at the age of twenty-seven. I had the bottle of pills and a glass of water to mix them in. I even wrote a suicide note to my mother, fully well knowing she wouldn’t understand.

      I was really going to do this. Something in my head though had another idea. I looked at the bottle and suddenly became angry; at myself, and at her. Why should I be doing this to myself? She made her decision, it’s time to let go. I threw away the pills and never thought about it again.

      Well as it turns out, once I accepted the fact that I was never to be with this girl, we began hanging out together again. She even had me arrange a bachelor’s party for her now fiancée and I attended their wedding. It dawned on me finally that if you really truly love somebody, all that matters is her happiness. It doesn't really matter whether you are with her or not. All that really matters is that she is happy.

      And she is happy. I haven't seen her or her husband in quite a time now, but I know she has two kids at least. I truly believe that she has gotten everything she ever really wanted. That makes me feel very good inside, for even now, I still love her very much.

      So what exactly am I saying here? I think that I am saying that sometimes it is good to let go. I mean let’s face it; would you really want to be with someone if she would be happier with someone else? For myself, I’m much happier with the knowledge that the aforementioned girl is living a happy life, because in the end that’s what really matters.

      It’s sort of like the old saying; if you love something let it go. If it returns it is yours. If it doesn't, then it wasn’t yours to begin with. Just a thought.


Again always have her best interests in your heart whatever they may be. You will find yourself much happier :smile2:


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## dither (Nov 12, 2014)

It's difficult , and it's hell sometimes. If only'if only.


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## Plasticweld (Nov 12, 2014)

Thanks for sharing a piece of yourself with us.  It takes courage to be honest and frank with others, I admire you for that.   I am glad you just wanted to share, I am glad the story is more important than something to find nit in.  While there is true talent in being able to write a story correctly, it is far more important to sometimes look at  the message rather than how it was delivered.  The honesty of your heart trumps all other things...Bob


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## CyberWar (Nov 13, 2014)

Being in love with a woman who doesn't love you is a damn familiar feeling, even though in my case, I do understand that there are at least 5 reasons why it must be so. 

Still, personally I much rather prefer being in love with someone who doesn't return my affections, than have them returned only to be betrayed later. It happened to me once, and I don't want to let anyone that close to me ever again, even if it means solitude for the rest of my days.

I deal with it by transforming my romantic desire into love for the Fatherland. That special woman holds dear all the same things and values that I do, so if I cannot be with her, I can at least love the same things that she does - our country, our people, our history and lore. And that's already more than nothing.


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## Deleted member 56686 (Nov 13, 2014)

It always hurts when you can't have the woman (or the man) of your dreams. I at least am blessed with the ability to have special friendships with the opposite sex, no strings attached.
There have been several women that I have been close to in my lifetime and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Maybe in a way they are the real loves of my life.


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## Schrody (Nov 13, 2014)

It's a natural process to love and lose. Experiences, bad and good ones, shapes our decisions and lives. What would we do without them? In fact, our whole lives are big experiences, and chances to learn about others and ourselves.


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## Deleted member 56686 (Nov 13, 2014)

Schrody said:


> It's a natural process to love and lose. Experiences, bad and good ones, shapes our decisions and lives. What would we do without them? In fact, our whole lives are big experiences, and chances to learn about others and ourselves.




I just lost one of my close girlfriends, maybe about two years ago. It was a bit hard to take. I think about her all the time. Anyway as I have evolved I have begun to realize that love in the truest sense is that of a spiritual one. The physical part really isn't that important in the grand scheme of things :smile2:


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## Schrody (Nov 13, 2014)

Sorry to hear that, mustard. No, physical love is pale towards the spiritual, when you know someone on the most intimate level... That's pretty hard to find.


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## escorial (Nov 15, 2014)

for me the best type of wirtting..life experiences..so liked


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