# Summer



## toddm (Jun 19, 2011)

Little boys 
after baseball games
with sopping bangs.
Little girls
leaping into swimming pools
in pink swimsuits.

While hot sunlight
glitters upon the green leaves
waving and swinging in sweltering winds:
those leaves grown long 
by generous showers
which sparkle like diamonds in the grass.

And those summer afternoons
drift into summer evenings
sitting on front porch swings
hearing cicadas sing
and watching the children
chase fireflies and laugh
while the fading light lasts.


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## Firemajic (Jun 19, 2011)

I love this--I am a country Girl--Actually -we lived in the Deeeep woods.not much to do but play in the woods-and catch fireflies by the porch light-while mom sat on the porch and visited with my Aunt and Uncles...You captured the mood of those evenings so beautifully that I am quite homesick for those innocent childhood times. As always-a pleasure to read your work--Peace-Jul


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 19, 2011)

Fabulous imagery, Todd, so very vivid I swore I could smell grass and hear giggling. Love this. I have to thank you, love, you bring some sorely needed light to these boards. Please keep doing you.

Best,
Lisa


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## toddm (Jun 19, 2011)

Firemajic said:


> I love this--I am a country Girl--Actually -we lived in the Deeeep woods.not much to do but play in the woods-and catch fireflies by the porch light-while mom sat on the porch and visited with my Aunt and Uncles...You captured the mood of those evenings so beautifully that I am quite homesick for those innocent childhood times. As always-a pleasure to read your work--Peace-Jul



A kindred spirit to me I see : ) playing in the woods is much more fun than playing on the wii ; )

As far as childhood, innocence, homesickness, nostalgia, beauty, nature, etc - these are all the things that keep me writing
---todd


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## toddm (Jun 19, 2011)

ChestersDaughter said:


> Fabulous imagery, Todd, so very vivid I swore I could smell grass and hear giggling. Love this. I have to thank you, love, you bring some sorely needed light to these boards. Please keep doing you.



Again Lisa, you are very kind - you fuel my desire to take writing to further levels - words can be so powerful, it really is quite amazing their power - and I've only dabbled in it

Light, O yes Light - after spending my own time in darkness, I revel in the light and it's nice to see that some of that light sometimes shines through what I've written

---todd


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## candid petunia (Jun 21, 2011)

Beautiful again. It's nice to read something sunny from time to time. 



> waving and swinging in sweltering winds



I realised recently - I like alternate alliteration, inverted too (example of this would be _strangely bonded, bizarrely separated _from one of my poems. lol just wanted to clear what I was talking about.  )



> which sparkle like diamonds in the grass


You make a lot of diamonds sparkle, don't you?  Beautiful imagery again.

Loved the poem, Todd. Keep posting.


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## JosephB (Jun 21, 2011)

Yes, this is nice and easy and straightforward. I can relate to all of it. A breath of fresh air -- even if it's warm, humid summer air. Nice job.


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## Jinxi (Jun 21, 2011)

The way you write is spectacular todd. I love how I always feel like I am "in" your poem - I can feel, see, smell everything that you describe. It is so wonderful to read your work. Good job!


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## wood (Jun 21, 2011)

great images!  and lots of great sounds, this was fun to read.  i'm hoping to have lots of backyard barbiques this summer, so this just hit the spot.  very well done.

wood


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 21, 2011)

That first stanza felt like Cummings to me. Very strong imagery, great use of sound.

One thought: "golden showers". Cliche? Awful connotations? I suggest maybe rewording that one.


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## Angel101 (Jun 21, 2011)

^ I agree about the "golden showers" bit. Defintiely bad ideas associated with that. You don't want that in your poem. Ha, ha. 

Anyway, thank you for this, Todd. Gave me such a nice, warm feeling. I just got done writing a really hard piece for me, so I needed something to read that made me feel good. I can't really do anything but echo what everyone else said. Nice job. Thanks for sharing.


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## JosephB (Jun 21, 2011)

Ha Ha. Oops. I didn't make the golden shower connection. But now that you mention it...


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## toddm (Jun 21, 2011)

candid petunia said:


> Beautiful again. It's nice to read something sunny from time to time.


"Sunny" means something different in your part of the world I'm sure : ) thanks - I'm glad you found the beauty in it



> I realised recently - I like alternate alliteration, inverted too (example of this would be _strangely bonded, bizarrely separated _from one of my poems. lol just wanted to clear what I was talking about.  )


I get what you are saying : ) and I didn't notice this here until you pointed out - I honestly don't intentionally use things like that, as in "I think I'll use an inverted alliteration here" - it is a nice effect though, I'll look forward to seeing your use of it - thanks so much for bringing it to my attention : )



> You make a lot of diamonds sparkle, don't you?



I had thought you would zero in on that part : )



> Beautiful imagery again. Loved the poem, Todd. Keep posting.



thanks for your kind words : )
---todd


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## toddm (Jun 21, 2011)

ok, Angel101, Squalid Glass, and JosephB, I truly had to step away and think for several minutes about what you were meaning by the "golden showers", what the bad connotation could be - then I saw it

honestly folks, is that how it hits you? : ) Maybe you also see "rainbows frowning through urine-golden air" [_Disturbed by Spring_] : )

I liked the coupling of "golden" and "diamonds" there, but...

Now that you've said it, the impression remains when I read it - even if I christen it with innocence, a little boy tinkling in the yard, it doesn't go in this piece at all : )

So I'm caving and changing it - I weighed several options, and it came down to either "generous showers" or "silver showers", but I'm going with "generous" - thanks, I think : )

---todd


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 21, 2011)

Sorry, R. Kelly ruined that combination for me.


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## toddm (Jun 21, 2011)

JosephB wrote:


> Yes, this is nice and easy and straightforward. I can relate to all of it. A breath of fresh air -- even if it's warm, humid summer air. Nice job.


thanks - glad you liked the straightforward manner - poetry doesn't have to be difficult and ponderous to be effective - difficult and ponderous has its place though - with such an innocent and accessible topic, a simple style works well

Jinxi wrote:


> The way you write is spectacular todd. I love how I always feel like I am "in" your poem - I can feel, see, smell everything that you describe. It is so wonderful to read your work. Good job!


I really appreciate what you say here, means so much - it is truly encouraging, thanks!

wood wrote:


> great images! and lots of great sounds, this was fun to read. i'm hoping to have lots of backyard barbiques this summer, so this just hit the spot. very well done.


much appreciated - writing has helped me to be more observant and take in more deeply what is around me, then later maybe frame it in some way to capture it in words


Squalid Glass wrote:


> That first stanza felt like Cummings to me. Very strong imagery, great use of sound.


what I recall of cummings style is minimal but vivid - less is often more - have you ever seen an overdone work of art by an amateur? too much, too overwrought - then an experienced and skilled artist comes along and can sketch out something heartbreakingly beautiful in just a few pencils strokes - I hope to attain to a bit of the latter in writing -

Angel101 wrote:


> Anyway, thank you for this, Todd. Gave me such a nice, warm feeling. I just got done writing a really hard piece for me, so I needed something to read that made me feel good. I can't really do anything but echo what everyone else said. Nice job. Thanks for sharing.


Glad it gave you a lift - the contrasts put texture in life: light/dark, joy/pain - I still hear your voice on your "spoken word' post, your singing brought a certain joy there too -

thanks everyone
---todd


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 21, 2011)

Mmm, of course. Reminded me of Cummings' "-in just." My favorite poem.


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## toddm (Jun 21, 2011)

Squalid Glass, I just googled R. Kelly and golden showers, based on your reference, and now I wish I hadn't - it was worse than I thought

I know what you meant by cliche now, but it was a cliche in pop culture than I was blissfully unaware of (but alas, no longer)

I am going to have to go find the cummings poem you named, to wash my mind clean -

---todd


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 21, 2011)

Haha, definitely do that! Pop culture cliches are odd in poetry, so I guess that defaults your use of it. But still... nothing good comes of that image. Haha. -in just is just perfection. Your piece works nicely beside it.


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## toddm (Jun 21, 2011)

Squalid Glass said:


> Haha, definitely do that! Pop culture cliches are odd in poetry, so I guess that defaults your use of it. But still... nothing good comes of that image. Haha. -in just is just perfection. Your piece works nicely beside it.



I just finished reading it and was going to write that very word: "perfection"

about using the cliche-without-knowing-it, this is a very good lesson in letting others provide feedback - served me well here, thanks!


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 21, 2011)

Don't mention it. I'm glad you liked the poem.


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 21, 2011)

Goodness, Todd, where have you been hiding? I stopped dead there, but I refused to mention it because I didn't want to seem like my mind is in the gutter. I chose to take it the way you intended, however slightly cliche. It's a relief to know that not only my mind went there. lol.

Edit: In hindsight, I was reasonably sure you didn't know. I feel evil for not telling.


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## toddm (Jun 22, 2011)

ChestersDaughter said:


> Goodness, Todd, where have you been hiding?


Thankfully, I am (purposefully) ignorant of much of popular modern culture - who is R. Kelly anyway, I've only heard the name? - I assume he's some sort of musician/singer - I tuned out of modern music around the time 80's alt went mainstream.



> I stopped dead there, but I refused to mention it because I didn't want to seem like my mind is in the gutter. I chose to take it the way you intended, however slightly cliche. It's a relief to know that not only my mind went there. lol.
> 
> Edit: In hindsight, I was reasonably sure you didn't know. I feel evil for not telling.



you should be ashamed for keeping silent : ) no, really I'm glad I was told eventually, but I understand you not wanting to say anything - I'm glad you knew my intentions were wholly innocent.

"Golden showers" - what a lovely pairing, how sad it got ruined by one man's exploits, and the media - I was going to use the phrase "lady ga-ga" in a poem, but alas that will not fly either now! :')

---todd


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## Phyllis (Oct 2, 2011)

Todd, beautiful word picture summing up summer.  Loved it!


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## toddm (Oct 4, 2011)

Phyllis said:


> Todd, beautiful word picture summing up summer. Loved it!



thanks so much Phyllis -
---todd


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