# The Hunters



## TuesdayEve (Jan 27, 2018)

This style was inspired by Darkkin, thank you.

Beside the pine stands brown and gray
Fresh snow pattern coyote paws
Nose to the ground they hunt for prey

Homesick call of a lovelorn jay
Murder of crows wane treble caws
Beside the pine stands brown and gray

Long white ears and whiskers stay
A cautious width from hungry jaws
Nose to the ground they hunt for prey

Sister squirrels pole dance n’ play
Tree trunk hosts allegro claws
Beside the pine stands brown and gray

Silent breaths fall veiled foray
And slips through natures’ law
Nose to the ground they hunt for prey

Enter twilight demise of day
Coyote solo a chorus draws
Beside the pine stands brown and gray
Nose to the ground they hunt for prey


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## jenthepen (Jan 28, 2018)

Hey, well done TuesdayEve! You've manage to follow the form of the villanelle perfectly. (If anyone else wants to check out the rules of this very strict poetic form you can find the details here. )

You've created quite an atmosphere with your poem too. Only one stanza seemed less than clear:

_Silent breaths fall veiled foray
And slips through natures’ law _ (nature's)_
Nose to the ground they hunt for prey_

I'm not sure about the meaning of this verse. It could just be me but it doesn't seem to hang together quite as well as the others. I like the feel of the poem in general and I think the repetitions worked for it rather than feeling forced (and that's the whole secret of the villanelle, I believe.)

Did you enjoy the process of writing this form of poetry, Tuesday? It's interesting how poets approach their art and where they find their inspiration so it would be great to have a discussion around this. Was it simply Darkkin's poems that drew you to it, or did the form itself hold the fascination? Maybe we could get the views of others on forms that appeal to them and why.

By the way, your children's poem is fine here on poetry hill but there is no rule against posting a children's poem on the main poetry forums. I've done it myself.


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## TuesdayEve (Jan 28, 2018)

Oh thank you jen, I did enjoy the proccess very much!
S5 was an attempt to show the failure of the predators
stakeout as the prey slips away....I’ll work on that.

Recently, I commented on Darkkin’s Pressing Skin and 
loved the words of the refrain...after embarrassing 
myself, finding out later, I had no idea of the form 
being used.

Once Darkkin explained and I understood, I thought 
it might be a good exercise for me.
The procces? In this case, it was technical, beginning 
with available rhymes as I needed several of 
the same sounds. Then I felt I needed two lines that
made sense together. Having that foundation,
 the story unfolded.

Also, I will post my children’s poems in main forums.
Thanks again


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## jenthepen (Jan 28, 2018)

Thanks for letting us know how you came at the process of writing this form, TuesdayEve. It was especially interesting to hear about the way you found those two repeating lines. I guess that's the whole essence of the villanelle - coming up with two lines that can be used effectively (and make sense) as part of several different stanzas.  I usually shy away from complex forms because I find I spend so much worrying about the rules that the creative part of my mind can't function.  :stupid: Kudos to you for pulling it off.

I wonder if Pel might like this form? I hope he comes and joins this discussion.


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## Pelwrath (Feb 1, 2018)

Okay, discussion joined. First one very enjoyable poem, nice winter and nature  imagery that you blended.

The more I learn about poetry, the more I’m convinced it has more rules than prose. After my ‘experience’ with  SA poetry, rules defined and driven poetry scare me. I’m finding it much easier to look at my stash of old poems and now see how really (I’ll be nice) drastically unfinished they are.
However, venturing into new lands with unrutted paths is an enticing thought. Congrats for your well deserved win for most improved poem, Tuesday


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## jenthepen (Feb 1, 2018)

Ha, I'm with you, Pel. I think it's hard enough to get feeling, atmosphere and message into a poem that also sounds reasonably fluid and rhythmic without having a whole extra set of regulations superimposed upon the process. That said, I'm always impressed when people can do it well.


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## poski11 (Feb 11, 2018)

Hi TuesdayEve,

I really enjoyed the atmosphere and mood of the poem, and I believe you successfully created a smooth flowing Villanelle. I think the refrains are perfect together. The first stanza really pulled me in. Question: in S2L2 (Murder of crows wane treble caws) did the coyote’s murder the crows? I ask because of Jen’s question and your answer concerning S5. I really enjoy S2 though. S5L1 (Silent breaths fall veiled foray) is a great line but the word choice of (fall) throws me a bit. Many other good lines I also like S4L2 (Tree trunk hosts allegro claws).


Poski11


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## Darren White (Feb 12, 2018)

TuesdayEve said:


> Enter twilight demise of day
> Coyote solo a chorus draws
> Beside the pine stands brown and gray
> Nose to the ground they hunt for prey



Tuesday, I love your very successful attempt at a villanelle 

When I write a poem like this, it is always the very last stanza that is the sum of it all and needs to look like a well accomplished, not awkward stanza.

For that reason, I often write that stanza first of all! Sounds strange, but it's a methodical way to tackle the difficult form.

I then write all the lines that are repeated into their respective stanzas, and only after that start working on making each stanza a wonderful one.

Just saying 
And not saying you should, simply sharing experiences.


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## TuesdayEve (Feb 16, 2018)

Dear Poski,
Sorry for the delay, sometimes I forget to check in...
S2L2, why didn't I think of the coyotes eating the crows?
’Wane’ was their multiple caws fading in the distance 
as the flew away...trying to incorporate sound...also, a 
group/flock of crows is called a “murder”...who came up 
with that one? But it’s true.
Thanks for your comments


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## TuesdayEve (Feb 16, 2018)

Dear Darren, 
Wow, you write the last stanza first...that’s interesting.
I would not have thought of that....I sometimes read 
poems backwards, bottom to top, but never thought 
of your process....I might try it just for fun. Thanks.


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## Darren White (Feb 19, 2018)

TuesdayEve said:


> Dear Darren,
> Wow, you write the last stanza first...that’s interesting.
> I would not have thought of that....I sometimes read
> poems backwards, bottom to top, but never thought
> of your process....I might try it just for fun. Thanks.



I don't do that with all poems, only sometimes with for instance villanelles, pantoums, and terzanelles  (those have all repetitive lines that come together in the last stanza)
And only to make sure that the poem will be as flowing and fitting as I'd like it to be.


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## poski11 (Feb 20, 2018)

Hi Tuesday,

Thanks for your response. 

Homesick call of a lovelorn jay
Murder of crows wane treble caws
Beside the pine stands brown and gray

Now S2 makes sense to me. Good point on the etymology of 'murder' as flock of crows. I think this is a fantastic stanza.

Poski11


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## nelen (Apr 22, 2018)

Thank you FOWF. I loved this atmospheric poetry, written in a way I aim to achieve. I' do atmosphere best and should stick to it. I am learning so much this evening and now I am faced with a Villanelle.  I must investigate, and always one to run before she can walk, have a go! Watch this space!!


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## Sara Ella (Apr 26, 2018)

I love the flow of this poem and to learn of a new style!!    So much fun! <3


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