# The Frog



## Chris Green (Jul 21, 2017)

*The Flood 
(Flash Fiction) 376 words*

A princess stood upon a bridge above a small stream eating a piece of fruit and crying. Her tears were so great that before long the small stream had become a raging river. The river, flowing at considerable speed had left its banks and was flooding the valley. No matter how hard she tried she could not stop her crying. 

Meanwhile, downstream the townspeople received word of the coming flood and began preparing for the disaster by placing items up off of the floor, moving livestock to higher ground and attempting to build a barricade along the banks of the river.

The mayor frantically sent word for Sir Thomas, a local hero and all around handsome guy. 

“How can I serve you, Mayor?”

“Thomas, as you know, the town is about to be flooded and there has been no rain in the area. Please ride north and find the cause and see if you can put a stop to it—our future depends on you.”

With that, Thomas mounted his steed and headed north as fast as he could ride. Arriving at the Kingdom he spied the Princess on the bridge crying. 

“Your Highness, why is it that you cry so?”

“Oh kind sir, alas, I have no answer for you as I know not why I cry.”

He approached the blonde haired girl and thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her skin was as fair as a spring morning and her eyes of the bluest skies. How could she possibly be so sad as to cry a raging river? He prepared himself to console her but the closer he got, the clearer the picture became.

“Fair princess, that fruit of which you eat is an onion.”

“Indeed an onion, fresh from the royal garden. My first one and it is delicious.”

“Would you mind allowing me a taste?”

“Why no, kind sir.” She handed him the onion and instantly her crying ceased. 
He tossed the onion far away and said. “You see fair princess it is the onion that makes one cry.” 

“You brave man, I am so happy to have finally ceased crying. How can I ever repay you?”

“Well, you could breathe in the other direction.”


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## H.Brown (Jul 21, 2017)

Hello, this was a funny piece of writing, to me it has a fairytale, storybook feel to it however nothing really happens. I mean this could be any scene from a disney princess movie, ie snow white minus the apple and sleep/death. Is that what you intended?

Other than that you have some words that are still joined together, another read through to add the spaces would help your overall flow/pace of reading.

I hope this helps.


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## Chris Green (Jul 21, 2017)

H. Brown,

Thanks so much for reading and critiquing this piece. It was just supposed to be a slice of humor and it is along fairytale lines.


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## SueC (Jul 22, 2017)

Hi Chris, I actually laughed out loud at the ending! I thought it was very cute, not overloaded with info and really just kind of a neat little story. I could imagine telling this story to a little girl at bedtime who was crying over something. It would make her laugh instead. Good job!
!


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## H.Brown (Jul 22, 2017)

Chris Green said:


> H. Brown,
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and critiquing this piece. It was just supposed to be a slice of humor and it is along fairytale lines.



Then you hit your mark as I did laugh at this piece and I obviously picked up on the fairy tale element. To me that is a sucess.


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## Chris Green (Jul 24, 2017)

SueC said:


> Hi Chris, I actually laughed out loud at the ending! I thought it was very cute, not overloaded with info and really just kind of a neat little story. I could imagine telling this story to a little girl at bedtime who was crying over something. It would make her laugh instead. Good job!
> !



Thank you so much SueC. I am thrilled you enjoyed this one. I did just notice that I messed up the title, but I can't change it so, it will have to remain.


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## bdcharles (Jul 25, 2017)

Nice piece. It has that sort of fable-like cadence that characterises, to me, good flash writing. One day I will get there myself ... one day


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## Chris Green (Jul 25, 2017)

Thank you so much bdcharles. I am happy you enjoyed this little tale. I messed up the title though...I don't know where my head was at when I did that, but oh well. Maybe I'll post my Flash "The Frog" and title it "The Flood"


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## Phil Istine (Aug 7, 2017)

This was fun to read - even calling it "The Flood" and adding "Flash Fiction" made me think of flash flood - though I don't think this was your intention.
I'm afraid you used one of my pet hates - the "off of" construction - aaaarrrrgggghhh!  .  However, as it was such a witty ending, I'll forgive you.


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## Thaumiel (Aug 23, 2017)

This piece tied for story of the month, well done!


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## max acorn (Aug 30, 2017)

well, damn! lol. did not expect that ending. i could tell this story to my friends. good work, my friend.


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## Avid Daydreamer (Sep 5, 2017)

Really nice. Made me laugh.

I find it difficult to put together a good, coherent story so succinctly, so colour me impressed.


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## Roac (Sep 5, 2017)

Hi Chris, that was a fun read! Thanks for sharing it. Sometimes it is nice to just read some quirky flash fiction. 

Good job!


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