# No Broken Rainbows



## Angel101 (May 15, 2011)

_(Removed by author...)
_


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## The Blue Pencil (May 15, 2011)

You, my friend, are truly gifted. There is absolutely nothing I can say about this poem besides that it is utterly immaculate. The ending took my breath away.


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## Angel101 (May 15, 2011)

Wow. Thanks. I really appreciate it.


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## Chesters Daughter (May 16, 2011)

Welcome back, Angel, it's been too long a while. Love, love, love this. Darkness at its best. "Sawing violins" is superb in its placement and usage. In fact, the entire piece is extremely well constructed and the imagery is almost too much to bear, yet it's impossible to tear one's eyes away. Evocative to the point of being uncomfortable, in other words, exceptionally well done. I feel the strings that are my nervous system have been overtaxed by a vicious bow, which, I believe is exactly what you were aiming for. Bravo!

Best,
Lisa


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## Angel101 (May 16, 2011)

Thanks. I'm glad to be back. I wasn't writing anything the entire time I was gone. It was one massive hiatus. But I had a baby in the meantime, and he's the best. But now I enjoy taking some "me time" to actually get some writing done.


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## Chesters Daughter (May 16, 2011)

Congratulations, love! Babies are such a blessing. Best of luck and God keep you both. Enjoy that me time because of I enjoy its fruits, besides, it'll be short lived, the terrible twos will be upon you before you know it. You be too busy doing this ](*,) to get any writing done.


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## toddm (May 26, 2011)

This piece flows frighteningly well, into a violent and dark place - like tumbling into some tangled nightmare pit full of snakes and ravenous violins and disembodied hands bearing razor blades, after falling asleep on a hard floor - Brilliant writing!

---todd

congrats also on the baby!


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## SilverMoon (May 26, 2011)

Angel, I'm appauled with myself! How could I have missed this dark journey of yours. The eyes of the Mistress of Gloom were glued to each word, words, lines. Your imagery comes out from some dark cave inhabiting all it's nasty creatures. This means I love this piece, you digging in deep like some determinded archiologist. Yes...



> Me. Excavated


 



> My chest is battered from the inside.
> Breathe for me. Bend over for me.


 
I think this gem would be more impactful if you leave out "Bend for me."
"Breath for me." on it's own line would be nearly chilling.



> But there is a dirty floor.
> My only lover.


 
A like that you broke a rule here. Normally, there would be a comma after floor. But "My only lover" on it's own made me sit up. There should be no flow here as I see it. Very well done!

Of course, I felt right at home reading this piece. Have a feeling your little one might have inherited your creative gene! Laurie


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## Gumby (May 26, 2011)

Very strong images here, Angel. You caught the feeling perfectly and fired the imagination to paint a terrible story, that you just had to see through to the end. 

Congratulations on the baby, motherhood is a busy, wonderful time.


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## Angel101 (May 26, 2011)

Thanks guys! It's funny. Everyone's finding this one now, and yet I only got one review on my favorite piece. And I'm like.... Noooooooo! Ha, ha.

Laurie: Thanks for your review. But I will say that because this piece is actually about rape, I feel like the "bend over for me" line needs to be there. Maybe if I separated them differently?


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## Chiefspider (May 26, 2011)

Wow beautiful poem ! I can see why it was brought back up hehe. and witch one was your favorite piece?


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## Angel101 (May 26, 2011)

Ha, ha. The first one I posted after I came back. Bioluminescence. Probably because it's a personal one to me, and everytime I look at it I think of the moment it was based on. It's something I like to relive.


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## Chiefspider (May 26, 2011)

I understand, the poems based on moments you want to remember for as long as you live are the best ones to have , unfortunately I haven't had something so beautiful as that inspire a poem quiet yet, but I still have time hehe. I read it and I see why you claim it as your favorite . keep up the good work!


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## SvirVolgate (May 27, 2011)

I love the rhythm of this piece


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