# Free cake.



## qwertyman (May 24, 2011)

Someone told me, (no names) if I sat here quietly and didn’t speak to anybody I’d get some cake. 

So where’s my cake? 

And who’s that other person sitting by the window?


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## candid petunia (May 24, 2011)

If I join you and sit just as quietly too, would I get some cake as well?


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## Candra H (May 24, 2011)

qwertyman said:


> Someone told me, (no names) if I sat here quietly and didn’t speak to anybody I’d get some cake.
> 
> So where’s my cake?
> 
> And who’s that other person sitting by the window?


 
That'll be me, sitting by the window trying desperately to hold my tongue and be a good girl...

Maybe if we smile sweetly, they'll give us chocolate cake.


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## qwertyman (May 24, 2011)

Shhhh! 

(Whispers)We're not supposed to talk.  I don't know if you'll get any cake. 

I've been here since Friday...nothing so far.

On Sunday someone came in and painted the ceiling.


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## Candra H (May 24, 2011)

Hehe. Mum's the word.


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## candid petunia (May 24, 2011)

Can we talk to let our presence be known?


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## qwertyman (May 24, 2011)

(whispers)... Okay, that's three of us... Supposing there's only one cake. We don't want anybody else in here.

Candra, lock the door...wait, that's not going to work is it?


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## candid petunia (May 24, 2011)

*silently laughing at the joke*


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## The Backward OX (May 24, 2011)

Hmpff.


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## Baron (May 24, 2011)




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## TheFuhrer02 (May 24, 2011)

I know I haven't joined in your pilgrimage but, could I have some of that cake, too? I can only have so much of the free cookies... :cookie:


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## KangTheMad (May 24, 2011)

I ate the original cake. Baron left it out in the super secret staff forums and I saw it just sitting there, so I ate it.


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## Baron (May 24, 2011)

KangTheMad said:


> I ate the original cake. Baron left it out in the super secret staff forums and I saw it just sitting there, so I ate it.


 
Now you know why it was a sticky fingered pirate cake.


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## Bruno Spatola (May 24, 2011)




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## Nick (May 24, 2011)

Bruno, I was thinking the exact same thing.


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## Bruno Spatola (May 24, 2011)

Haha, I couldn't resist; GLaDOS would be proud.

1 (18.25 oz) package chocolate cake mix
1 can prepared coconut frosting
3/4 cups vegetable oil
4 large eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
3/4 cup butter or margarine, softened
2/3 cups granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups all purpose flour
2/3 cups cocoa
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 cups water
1 to 2 (6 oz each) vanilla frosting

Don't forget garnishes, such as:

fish shaped crackers
fish shaped candies
fish shaped dirt
fish shaped solid waste
fish shaped ethyl benzene
pull and peel licorice
fish shaped volatile organic compounds
sediment shaped sediment
a 20-foot thick impermeable clay layer






Mmmm, science.


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## qwertyman (May 24, 2011)

Hold it! Hold it!
There must be twenty people in this room how big is the cake..... fer chrisssake?


I am assuming you have all given two pints of blood, as I did.


So, as a spot check will all those people who gave blood...say 'aye'.


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## candid petunia (May 24, 2011)

Aye!
(lol)


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## Nick (May 24, 2011)

Did it have to be our own blood? If not, then aye!


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## Eluixa (May 24, 2011)

*whispers to Nick* I love that song! But the buzzing is hard to take.


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## Nick (May 24, 2011)

Song? I'm worried I'm missing a really intricate joke here.


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## qwertyman (May 24, 2011)

Okay, there might have been a misunderstanding here. 

All those who thought it was two pints to a sperm bank - get some cake too.

And those who thought it was two pints of each - remember next time to give the sperm first.

And ladies, please identify your sauce source.


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## TheFuhrer02 (May 25, 2011)

qwertyman said:


> All those who thought it was two pints to a sperm bank - get some cake too.



*looks around*

Er... Aye.

Why are y'all looking at me? It was for the cake!


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## Eluixa (May 25, 2011)

Nick said:


> Song? I'm worried I'm missing a really intricate joke here.


 
In your siggy. Walking Far From Home. The song has a buzzing/static in it for a short bit. 

And while I'm here interrupting, cake would be nice. And you can take the blood warm and direct from throat, just not too much 'kay?


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## Nick (May 26, 2011)

Eluixa said:


> In your siggy. Walking Far From Home. The song has a buzzing/static in it for a short bit.
> 
> And while I'm here interrupting, cake would be nice. And you can take the blood warm and direct from throat, just not too much 'kay?


 
I don't mind some mashed guitaring. I just love the lyrics - like all of his songs.


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## Jinxi (May 26, 2011)

Oh wow. I just realised that I have missed out on the cake.

I brought chocolate cupcakes with me - hope that will grant me entrance? I am happy to give blood too, just not too much. I may need it.


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## Nick (May 26, 2011)

Jinxi said:


> Oh wow. I just realised that I have missed out on the cake.
> 
> I brought chocolate cupcakes with me - hope that will grant me entrance? I am happy to give blood too, just not too much. I may need it.


 
We've moved on from the blood now (see above). I don't think we ca- cupcakes, you say?


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## Jinxi (May 26, 2011)

Nick said:


> We've moved on from the blood now (see above). I don't think we ca- cupcakes, you say?


 
Yes I had noticed the migration of donation requirements, I was just avoiding it 

Mmmm. Yip, big chocolatey ones. Do you like sprinkles?


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## qwertyman (May 26, 2011)

Now you've done it. We won't be able to move in here in a minute


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## JosephB (May 26, 2011)

I like pie. In fact, I'd rather pay for pie than eat free cake.


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## Jinxi (May 26, 2011)

In that case... here you go: One Apple Pie on the house


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## Baron (May 26, 2011)

Here's one for Ox.


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## Jinxi (May 26, 2011)

LOL! Here's another suitable one:


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## KangTheMad (May 26, 2011)

Jinxi said:


> In that case... here you go: One Apple Pie on the house



mmmm, that's mine. Heat it up, plop some vanilla ice crea on top. . .yum.


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## Nicky (May 26, 2011)

PEOPLE! It's made of people!


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## TheFuhrer02 (May 26, 2011)

Now I'm regretting donating to the, er, sperm bank and blood bank. No one told me there was free pie that required no sacrifice ritual donation thing.

So... Can I have some of that apple pie? That'd go well with my coffee. :coffee:


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## KangTheMad (May 26, 2011)

Nicky said:


> PEOPLE! It's made of people!







Soylent Corporation denies these allegations.


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## Jinxi (May 26, 2011)

TheFuhrer02 said:


> So... Can I have some of that apple pie? That'd go well with my coffee. :coffee:


 
I have no problem with that, but you may have to ask Joseph B if he wouldn't mind sharing


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## candid petunia (May 26, 2011)

Whatever happened to keeping quiet?


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## Jinxi (May 26, 2011)

candid petunia said:


> Whatever happened to keeping quiet?


 
That is my fault, I found the thread and couldn't resist the cake. I am sorry.


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## Baron (May 26, 2011)

candid petunia said:


> Whatever happened to keeping quiet?


 
to put "keeping quiet" and "qwerty" in the same sentence creates an oxymoron.


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## TheFuhrer02 (May 26, 2011)

Baron said:


> to put "keeping quiet" and "qwerty" in the same sentence creates an oxymoron.


 
And when there's an oxymoron in a sentence, the popular Backward Ox appears.

So, haven't seen him much around lately. Still on that therapy, huh? Too bad he'll miss the free pie and cake.


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## KangTheMad (May 26, 2011)

We'll send him a package of salmon burgers.


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## candid petunia (May 26, 2011)

Ah then 'twas in vain.


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## Nicky (May 26, 2011)

I see, so you're saying the cake is a metaphor for an extra marital affair. The idea of it appeals and tantalizes you until once you partake it's not so easy to clean up or lose the weight. 

Touche, old friend. Quite good.


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## Baron (May 26, 2011)

TheFuhrer02 said:


> And when there's an oxymoron in a sentence, the popular Backward Ox appears.
> 
> So, haven't seen him much around lately. Still on that therapy, huh? Too bad he'll miss the free pie and cake.


 
He glows in the dark and keeps the room illuminated at night.


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## Olly Buckle (May 26, 2011)

Is there free lunch first?


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## candid petunia (May 26, 2011)

Hahahaha can I first know _who's_ giving it all for free?  Everyone's waiting.


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## Jinxi (May 26, 2011)

Sure. Here you go:


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## The Backward OX (May 27, 2011)

JosephB said:


> I like pie. In fact, I'd rather pay for pie than eat free cake.


I don't think anyone got it, Joe.



candid petunia said:


> Whatever happened to keeping quiet?


 


Baron said:


> to put "keeping quiet" and "qwerty" in the same sentence creates an oxymoron.


 


TheFuhrer02 said:


> And when there's an oxymoron in a sentence, the popular Backward Ox appears.


Querty & I have an understanding. He keeps away from my threads and I keep away from his.



> So, haven't seen him much around lately. Still on that therapy, huh? Too bad he'll miss the free pie and cake.


I'm not missing any pie, thank you.


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## qwertyman (May 27, 2011)

Will the person who offered me a tart a short while ago, please re-contact me.


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## Rustgold (May 27, 2011)

Candra H said:


> That'll be me, sitting by the window trying desperately to hold my tongue and be a good girl....


 
Trouble is that you'll need to keep quiet, and if you speak up to ask for the cake then you've disqualified yourself by not keeping quiet.
It's a lose-lose situation, unless you're the one in control of the cake.


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## Candra H (May 29, 2011)

JosephB said:


> I like pie. In fact, I'd rather pay for pie than eat free cake.


 
I like to get some pie after a good movie. You wanna get some pie with me?


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## Bruno Spatola (May 29, 2011)

Bow chicka wow wowwwww. . .


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## JosephB (May 29, 2011)

Candra H said:


> I like to get some pie after a good movie. You wanna get some pie with me?



I don't know if my old lady would go for that. Or maybe she can come along. Is there enough for everyone?


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## Candra H (May 29, 2011)

Eh, you guys are no good. 

It's a quote taken from the beginning of the film, True Romance. Probably misquoted but your post made me think of it and I couldnt resist posting.

I figure you and your old lady be better sharing that pie amongst yourselves, lol.


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## candid petunia (May 29, 2011)

So who ran away with the cake while we're all talking here?


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## KangTheMad (May 29, 2011)

I know I'm going to hell for this but. . .


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## Bruno Spatola (May 29, 2011)

"I like you, Clarence. Always have; always will." 

Mmmm, I really want some banoffee pie. My nonna's is ridiculously tasty.


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## qwertyman (May 30, 2011)

Ahem, (coughs into hand) is the tart still available? When you said tart I thought you meant...and then I realised...

I better sit down.

(Shouts) Nurse, more oxygen!


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## The Backward OX (May 30, 2011)

JosephB said:


> I don't know if my old lady would go for that. Or maybe she can come along. Is there enough for everyone?


 
Does trois divide into soixante-neuf?


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## Candra H (May 30, 2011)

Bruno Spatola said:


> "I like you, Clarence. Always have; always will."


 
Haha. The very one. I'd head further into film anorak territory and start quoting from a certain scene involving messrs Walken and Hopper but I'd probably get banned for using the n word.


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## TheFuhrer02 (May 30, 2011)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Bow chicka wow wowwwww. . .



*bursts into song*

That's what my baby says
bow wow wow and my heart starts thumping...

[video=youtube;jfsl8kzedJs]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfsl8kzedJs[/video]

Oh wait, are you referring to the Mike Posner song?

... ... I see.



KangTheMad said:


> I know I'm going to hell for this but. . .








If that's the cake, then I'm now regretting me sacrificing my blood and me donating to the sperm bank...


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