# Who has made the biggest impact in your life?



## Sunny (Oct 10, 2011)

My grandfather. 

He was the wisest, sweetest, kindest man. He wasn't afraid to tell you how he was feeling. He could cry without it embarrasing him, knowing he was secure in his own masculinity. He always lit up when I walked into the room, making me feel so special to him. He'd say, "Now there's my girl," and give me the biggest hug, holding my hands as I sat down beside him. He would sit and listen to me talk for hours, it didn't matter if it was a subject that would interest him or not. He told the best stories, I could listen to them all day long. When it was time for me to leave he'd always say, "Oooh, you're leaving already?" It didn't matter if I'd been there for a whole weekend visiting, he always thought I was leaving too soon. ;0).... I miss him!


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## Nacian (Oct 10, 2011)

that is such a lovely read Sunny very sweet indeed, sorry to hear he is no longer with you;-)


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## Sunny (Oct 10, 2011)

Oh, thanks Nacian. I'm sorry he's not with me anymore, too.


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## beanlord56 (Oct 10, 2011)

My friend Sarah. Ever since I met her at the beginning of my freshman year, she's been more concerned about helping me with my problems than her own. She doesn't talk to me about her issues much, and the one time I did try to help her, it ended with me receiving a rightfully earned punch in the face. The kindness she showed me then, and still shows me, is what kept me from committing suicide in high school. I hope we maintain our friendship for many more years to come, and (despite how much I lie to myself about this) take our friendship further.


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## Bruno Spatola (Oct 10, 2011)

Winston Churchill, probably . . . or maybe Columbo.


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## Sunny (Oct 10, 2011)

*beanlord56,* You are very lucky to have her in your life. Friends like that are so hard to come by! I'm glad you had her and still do. ;0)


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## beanlord56 (Oct 10, 2011)

Thanks Sunny. Your grandfather sounded like a wonderful man.

One thing I forgot to mention was that both me and Sarah are Trekkies. Now, if only I can enlighten her to Star Wars... 
It's the philosophy of a myriad of male Star Wars fans that any woman who likes Star Wars is an instant keeper.


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## garza (Oct 10, 2011)

The first big influence in my life was my grandfather, and many of you are probably tired of hearing about him. He inspired me to write. Next there were the two editors, Wilkes and Rand, who bought my articles during my mid teens and taught me the craft of writing. And finally John Ciardi who had the most influence of all on how I write.


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## Bluesman (Oct 10, 2011)

This is really hard for me there are so many i'v been so lucky to have friends who helped and lead the way for me. If i had to pin it on one person it would be my father who put up with me in my younger days when i was a complete idiot to the my recent days when i'm abit less of an idiot. lol . We were great mates and had some fantastic times together i really miss the old bugger. lol


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## Sunny (Oct 10, 2011)

Awwww... Parents put up with so much crap don't they? lol .... I put my mom through hell! Somehow she kept my antics away from my dad. She had to, otherwise I think I'd still be locked upstairs in my bedroom! lol


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## Gamer_2k4 (Oct 10, 2011)

I don't believe I can narrow influence down to a single person.  My life and the person I am today are both the result of so many people doing so many things that it seems lacking to say someone had the "biggest" influence on my life.  Is it my dad for the role model he wasn't? Is it my grandpa for the role model he was? Is it my mom for all she's done (and continues to do) for me and my brother? Is it any of my best friends throughout the years, who each individually influenced my personality, interests, and activities? Is it any of my teachers for the contributions they made towards educating me? Is it my pastors who brought me along in my spiritual life? Is it any of the authors who have written works that changed how I think about things? How about the people behind the movies that have been particularly influential or inspirational? Could it be the artists who have written and performed the music I've listened to over the years?

Simple answer: it's all of them.  The question of who is the most important person in my life is analogous to asking what the most important part of a mousetrap is.  You need all of the components, and without even one of them, the end result is drastically different.  If my life was missing any of the people it's had in it up to this point, I'd be someone else.  Everyone has made the biggest impact in my life.


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## Eluixa (Oct 10, 2011)

beanlord56 said:


> It's the philosophy of a myriad of male Star Wars fans that any woman who likes Star Wars is an instant keeper.



I'm golden then. Woop!


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## Nacian (Oct 11, 2011)

My mother.
I am infact exactly like her which is scary or not....lol ..but yes she did put up with me and my teenage time, we've had many heated arguments but that is because we were/are so similar.


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## Tatham (Oct 11, 2011)

I'm going with my grandad too. It's been six months since he passed and there's been this massive gap in our family's life ever since. He was the most honest and hard working man I have ever known, always selfless in every way and always wanted the best for everyone. He was more of a father really, seeing as though my own has been absent from my life for at least 3 years now. He used to make me toy models for figures I had, Sonic related in particular seeing as though he was my childhood hero; he made me the Tornado plane and Robotnik's ship! I don't like to think about it much but his passing was not a kind one thanks to poor care and neglectment at hospital. There was obviously more to it than that but it just felt as though they didn't care as much as they're meant to. It's like when you're over a certain age they just don't care anymore. The entire experience really killed a lot of respect I had for such places.


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## Sunny (Oct 11, 2011)

*Tatham, *I'm sorry you lost your grandad. My grandfather left a huge hole in my family as well. It's like they're the glue that held everything together! I know my grandfather would be so disappointed to see the way his family has scattered to the wind. His house was the place everyone gathered on Sunday mornings. He'd make pancakes from scratch for everyone. He had 6 kids, 32 grandkids, and many many great grandkids...let me tell you, he had to make a ton of pancakes! lol... Now it's just all gone! Sad, really. I loved your story, how he did so much for you. I'm sorry for the way he passed, and I know what you mean about them not getting the right care.


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## Scarlett_156 (Oct 11, 2011)

If my mom and dad had not decided to let me live, I would not be alive.  I suspect that's the case with most people.  And they raised me, so there's the influence.  Should I be grateful....?  Eh, not sure.  (People who want me dead are like cops; there's never one around when I really WANT to die, lol!)


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## Tatham (Oct 11, 2011)

Sunny said:


> *Tatham, *I'm sorry you lost your grandad. My grandfather left a huge hole in my family as well. It's like they're the glue that held everything together! I know my grandfather would be so disappointed to see the way his family has scattered to the wind. His house was the place everyone gathered on Sunday mornings. He'd make pancakes from scratch for everyone. He had 6 kids, 32 grandkids, and many many great grandkids...let me tell you, he had to make a ton of pancakes! lol... Now it's just all gone! Sad, really. I loved your story, how he did so much for you. I'm sorry for the way he passed, and I know what you mean about them not getting the right care.


We're all there for my Gran, though she'll never be the same without him. It's not something she, or anyone in this circumstance, ever get over but instead learn to live with. She still makes Sunday roast for my household every couple of weeks and she's down every Tuesday. She needs to be around people. Thank you for your kind words Sunny. I'm sorry also for your loss. At least we'll cherish the time spent with them, knowing that they were the influence that inspires us to be who we are and are aiming to be. I'm dedicating my first book to my Grandad's memory. I just wish he could have read it.


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## Sunny (Oct 11, 2011)

Tatham. If I turn out to be half the person he was, I'd be pretty lucky. ;0)

That's the part of growing old with someone that scares me. You live your life with one another and then one day, someone gets left behind. I'm thinking the one that has to learn to live without the love of their life is worse off. ;0(

I know what you mean about wishing he could read your book. I have so many things I'd love for my grandfather to see. I guess all we can do is carry the knowledge that they would be proud! ;0)


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## KangTheMad (Oct 11, 2011)

rugbyjock


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## Die Oldhaetunde (Oct 11, 2011)

There is no one. Nothing. A void within. I can not imagine how I've lived to today, when for so long, I have yet to connect with another human being. It is a strange feeling, I suppose, but a familiar one. Though I have people that I know, and people that I talk to... I suppose that without a connection... there is no one that I can truly say I know.

There are those I love, of course. But no one I truly understand. How sad.


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## Sunny (Oct 11, 2011)

*Die Oldhaetunde*, I'm left feeling sad from your post. I wanted place a _hug_ smiley face here, but they don't have one. ;0(


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## Die Oldhaetunde (Oct 11, 2011)

Meh. Autism. Comes with the territory. Thanks, though.


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## Zootalaws (Oct 13, 2011)

The guy who made me a hood ornament on his 4x4... oof!


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## MeeQ (May 4, 2012)

My father - For showing me you can never have one and stroll through life like candy is free.


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## MeeQ (May 4, 2012)

Die Oldhaetunde said:


> There is no one. Nothing. A void within. I can not imagine how I've lived to today, when for so long, I have yet to connect with another human being. It is a strange feeling, I suppose, but a familiar one. Though I have people that I know, and people that I talk to... I suppose that without a connection... there is no one that I can truly say I know.
> 
> There are those I love, of course. But no one I truly understand. How sad.



This... Why so full of void? You make me giggle with memories of my 12th year of life. You'll learn to become narcissistic, drive yourself forward through others failures and mistakes. Bringing yourself closer to yourself through the sad realisation that this world is filled with cesspool runoff. Laugh and run through the streets gaining the attention of the economic whores, just to spit in their face. This world has nothing for free, nothing but malice. Enjoy it's company, it barely bites back.


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## Bloggsworth (May 4, 2012)

Me.


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## Crodentia (Dec 28, 2014)

My friend and mentor, "G." He tapped me on the shoulder in 2009, and it's been a helluva ride ever since. Without him, I'd be dead. End of story. He never talked me down from a ledge or convinced me not to pull a trigger, at least directly. All he did was show me what a true friend was (that is, someone willing to tell you how it is and be there for you no matter what).


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## JamesR (Jan 1, 2015)

Excluding religious figures like Ss. Isaac the Syrian and John Maximovitch, probably my uncle--well, kinda my uncle. He's my grandmother's brother so I'm not sure what that makes him to me.

He inspires me and serves as a living testimony of everything I hope to accomplish in life and everything I hope to be. He was a Mexican who was born during a time when racial prejudices and hardships made it very difficult to get anywhere in life. And yet, he still managed to acquire a PhD and become a nuclear scientist on the cover of magazines. He has a huge gun collection, and also belongs to the same religion that I do, making us the only two Orthodox people in the family. I find the stories about his life very inspiring. Like when he couldn't afford a car to get to his classes, he purchased a bike and would ride miles everyday just to get an education, and how as a child he read an entire multi-volume Encyclopedia set from cover to cover, and memorized everything in it. He set academic records that still stand at the local community college, and never remarried after his wife died.

He's still alive today, but barely...He's suffering from a bad form of cancer and recently had to have his stomach removed, and is probably going to be dying very soon.

My uncle taught me that contrary to what the rest of our underachieving, anti-intellectual, lower middle class family says, I can be whatever I want to be and I shouldn't let people hold me down.


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## Boofy (Jan 1, 2015)

It would be your great uncle, I think. I am sorry that he is so unwell. I hope that you are okay, he seems like a brilliant source of inspiration.


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## JamesR (Jan 1, 2015)

Thank you. Yes, I am sort of okay. Perhaps the final source of inspiration that I've got from him is to never smoke cigarettes. He credits a lifelong cigarette habit as the culprit of his health problems.


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## Apex (Jan 1, 2015)

Please do not take this as a Bible thumping thing...it is not...it is who has effected my life, and why.

*Noah. *
Not the Noah shown by Hollywood, but the Man shown in the Bible. I can not feel what he felt living through the great flood, and knowing all the people, and creatures outside the ark were being killed. Drifting month after month not knowing what was going to happen. After the waters subsided, and they were back on land, Noah grew grapes, and made wine. He got drunk, and I think I would have too. This is were a better picture of the man becomes clear. He stood by what was right. He had a moral code.
In Genesis 9:22 it reads:  “Later Ham the father of Ca’naan saw his father nakedness.” Like most writers, I always want to know what something means…so I read on. Reading on I found in Genesis 9:25, Noah said, “Curse be Ca’naan. Let him become the lowest slave to his brothers.” Okay, now there is a hook. If Ham saw his father Noah naked, why would Noah curse his grandson? The writer of this has me hooked.  Two facts I did dig up. Ham was of the dark skin. It seems the first child born after the flood was the son of Ham, Ca’naan, who would also be of the dark skin…I’m hooked. I want to know what is going on here? I found the answer in Leviticus 18:8. “The nakedness of your fathers wife you must not lay bare, it is your fathers nakedness.”  Well now…it appears Ham had sex with his own mother. How did Noah find out that dark secret? His wife had a child of the dark skin…Ca’naan, which means only Ham could be the father.  Noah lived after the flood another 350 years. He had no children after the flood…The scriptures do not say why…but I suspect Noah was pretty upset.
As a writer I started to link this event to history. The churches in America used to teach this fact about Ham. Christians viewed dark skin people as having a curse from God…it is the main reason whites could have slaves, and still feel they were good Christians. 
What I learned from Noah...stick to a moral code…even in very hard time when you don‘t feel like trying to be good..


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## Plasticweld (Jan 1, 2015)

Maybe this is an old guy answer.  It would depend on, which time in my life did you ask the question.  We are made up by so many different experiences as we get older, experiences that shape who we are and what we value.

I did have one very unique person as part of my life when I was young.  In the third grade I struck up a relationship with the school janitor.  He treated me as a buddy and we talked about all sorts of stuff. I helped him sweep floors, I got to put the trash in big furnace and watch it burn up.  He was always glad to see me and he was my first adult friend, were just good buddies.  



One day he was not their.  I figured maybe he was sick so instead of hanging around I headed home.  My dad told me that night he had been arrested for Arson, he had burned down several  horse barns in our town, destroying hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of property and killing more than  dozen horses.  He had been part of the horse racing and training business and had some problems with the track and it's association.  They banned him and in retaliation he  burned the horse barns of those that belonged to the association..


It taught me at a young age that people are more than just either good or bad.  Someone who does things wrong, can still be a great guy to a third grader.  At a young age I learned to really listen to people.  There maybe far more to them than what the eye sees.


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## PhunkyMunky (Oct 19, 2015)

It's too bad your question has a "Who"... I couldn't put a finger on the single most important person, aside from my wife... and maybe that's my answer. 

I learned to never give up at an early age. I was run over when I was 8, which shattered both of my legs, and my doctors said I'd not walk again. My mom refused to let me believe this, and so with her "encouragement", it was more like she required it, I learned to walk again. It was terrifying, painful, and I felt horrible that my mother would torture me like this. I did a lot of screaming and crying and asking "Why" But after a long process, I did indeed walk. In fact I played football when I was 16 and I fought in Iraqi Freedom in 2004 as an Infantryman. 

Today I teach my own children this lesson of never giving up. So we have my mom as one of the most influential people in my life. 

I was also abused a lot as a kid. We were very poor and my parents... Well I just don't know. I believe my mom was mentally ill and that this didn't manifest itself until later on. Early on she was fine, but later she just got more weird. My father didn't care for me. He and my mother divorced when I was three, so when I met him later on I learned that he regretted having children. Poo on him  

So suffice it to say I was fairly messed up by the time I began to date my wife, whom I had known since she was 13. She was my sisters best friend. She has been patient, loyal, loving, encouraging, and everything I had previously lacked in my life. She is my best friend. I owe her so much more than I can give. It's as if God Himself has chosen her for me, hand picked. We've been married 15 years now and it's only gotten better. She saved my life. If it hadn't been for her, I'd be drunk in the gutter or dead by now. I'm sure of it. She's been a champion with my disability (PTSD)... She believes in me more than I ever have. She is my positive. 

So I guess I have more influences than I thought. My mother, my father, and my wife. Even the abuser can show one positive things, although we don't know about that until later. I learned from my father that I will NEVER tell my kids they are stupid. I will NEVER hit them. I will NEVER tell them "I don't care about you". And I will NEVER tell them "You'll never amount to anything".


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## Minu (Nov 16, 2015)

There's a few people. 

*My grandmother
*My grandmother [my mother's mother] lost the love of her life during one of the WWII air strikes, and ultimately ended up raising 4 children by herself. She never remarried. Coming to North America on little more than a thought (& a prayer) she went from working two jobs to make sure that there was enough money to put food on the table and attending evening university courses, to owning her own business and owning more than dozen rental properties between the cities of Montreal, NYC, and Berlin. She owned [just sold one two years ago] three separate properties in London, Barcelona, and Vienna. An extremely sharp businesswoman she is a literal rags to riches individual. She "hobnobs", or did before getting sickly these last few years, with some extremely well off and well to do individuals; including upper class in the UK [she knew Princess Margaret even, there's a photograph of them together about 25 years ago having a good laugh]. 

She taught me that no matter what life throws at you, there will forever be a silver lining. You just have to *work *for it. 


*My father & Uncle*
First he's not actually my uncle, at least not by blood, and would serve more the role of unofficial godfather than anything. He & my father have known one another for many years; ever since my father got stranded in northern Germany [his rental blew a tire, this is before cell phones] and the guy picked him up. Visiting his grandmother [my great-grandmother], Dad is fluent in German, so they struck up a conversation and it was later revealed that the guy & his mother happened to be renting the apartment one level below where my dad was at while attending university there. The mother provided dad soup when he got really sick [dad rarely gets sick, but when he does he gets r*eally *sick].

From Dad, like with grandma, I learnt that hard work pays off. He is a retired school master so, aside from that, education was important in all forms - both book smarts and world travel. From Uncle, aside from world travel which is the name of the game in his field of work, I learnt that no matter how unorthodox something is, no matter how many people will complain "against" whatever you say... there will always be someone that'll listen so instead of bottling it up, say it.


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## Wandering Man (Nov 16, 2015)

My wife helped set my moral compass in the right direction 46 years ago.

Thanks to her I'm a better man.


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## MissChurro (Dec 4, 2015)

My mother! She's done more for me than I can begin to say. She's always supportive and she's even the reason I started writing. :redface2:


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## Phil Istine (Dec 5, 2015)

Probably the therapist that I went to see nearly thirty years ago.  He helped me to start repairing the damage done by those who preceded him.
No wonder I keep being distracted from my autobiography.


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## Gofa (Dec 30, 2015)

The guy that set fire to my factory many years ago, burning it to the ground


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## dither (Dec 30, 2015)

Clement Freud.


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## KellInkston (Dec 30, 2015)

After deliberation, I'm afraid I could not possibly say. I'm not sure if I'm very well tuned in to that part of me. There are a good many people that have impacted me a good deal, for better or worse, and I appreciate the lessons they've had for me.

So, sorry, I don't think I have a specific one.


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## dungeonwriter39 (Aug 23, 2017)

My karate teacher made the biggest impact on my life.


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## Galen (Sep 2, 2017)

PhunkyMunky said:


> It's too bad your question has a "Who"... I couldn't put a finger on the single most important person, aside from my wife... and maybe that's my answer.
> 
> I learned to never give up at an early age. I was run over when I was 8, which shattered both of my legs, and my doctors said I'd not walk again. My mom refused to let me believe this, and so with her "encouragement", it was more like she required it, I learned to walk again. It was terrifying, painful, and I felt horrible that my mother would torture me like this. I did a lot of screaming and crying and asking "Why" But after a long process, I did indeed walk. In fact I played football when I was 16 and I fought in Iraqi Freedom in 2004 as an Infantryman.
> 
> ...



Whew, wow, children have proven they can be so resilient in some very trying circumstances. You survived and thrived.


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## Galen (Sep 2, 2017)

Plasticweld said:


> Maybe this is an old guy answer.  It would depend on, which time in my life did you ask the question.  We are made up by so many different experiences as we get older, experiences that shape who we are and what we value.
> 
> I did have one very unique person as part of my life when I was young.  In the third grade I struck up a relationship with the school janitor.  He treated me as a buddy and we talked about all sorts of stuff. I helped him sweep floors, I got to put the trash in big furnace and watch it burn up.  He was always glad to see me and he was my first adult friend, were just good buddies.
> 
> ...



When you meet people, you never know their whole story and if you did, it would probably surprise you.


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## Articulate Lady (Sep 10, 2017)

It is hard to decide here, because to both of my parents I owe a huge debt of gratitude. My mom, for her kindness and always making sure I am eating and taking care of myself, my Dad for his strict rules and knowledge of mathematics he bestowed upon me that helped me advance far in my career.

They have done more than their share to help me over this life, and everyday I do my best to give back to them as much as I can.

I have nothing but gratefulness in my heart for the both of them.


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## yfc54 (Oct 23, 2017)

My two Grandsons. I see the innocence of a child combined with a twinkle in their eyes which screams 'We've got you right where we want you'


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