# The Power of Love



## aj47 (Sep 12, 2011)

“Look out, Jamie!” my sister shouted, too late for me to avoid slipping on the hidden patch of ice.  I managed to keep my balance, but just barely.   


 “I _hate_ him!” I shouted.  No one heard me except Leanne and Beth.   


 Leanne made a face.  “You always say that but what are ya gonna _do_ about it, huh?” 

Beth kept walking but turned her face back to holler, “Who cares!” before she sped up, probably so as not to overhear us.  


 This part of the conversation was old and worn, like Beth's hand-me-down snow-boots. It was early January and the weather channel said the temperature was 7[FONT=Times New Roman, serif]º[/FONT] Fahrenheit.  But here we were, walking home from Dad's apartment because he was too damned drunk to take us and too cheap to pay for a cab.  Twelve blocks.  The first four were through the downtown business district, well-shoveled and well-lit. As we got further away from his apartment and closer to our house, there was more snow accumulation and fewer street lights.


 I started.  “We could poison his coffee.  I hear that if you have hangover that everything tastes awful and you wouldn't notice.”


 “If you're going to poison him, put it in his booze; he drinks more of that.”  Leanne was right.


 “Maybe when he passes out we could light a cigarette and drop it on the couch cushion and start a fire,” I thought about that for a bit.  “Except it might kill other people too like that old blind lady, Mrs. Painter.”


 “I have the_ perfect_ idea... “


 Fast-forward ten years.  I now had two darling daughters. It was mid-December and my father called, drunk as always, and sang us Christmas carols.  He rambled about this and that and ended the call by promising to send a check to make our Christmas merrier.  


 We spent Christmas day at my mother-in-law's house with my husband's brothers and sisters and their families. It was the sort of holiday that people envy.  We all had plenty to eat and no one spoiled it by drinking too much or picking a fight.


 A week later it was New Years.  Since our two local papers had consolidated, the joint version carried both Dear Abby and Ann Landers.  For New Year's Day, they both had the same advice:  Tell the people in your lives that you love and value them because you may not always have them. After I put the kids to bed, I called my mother-in-law and thanked her again for the lovely Chirstmas.   

 I had scarcely put down the receiver when it rang again.  It was my father.  He said that he'd sent a check but the post office had returned it.  _Sure._  I verified my address and the spelling of my “married name” because apparently he couldn't remember if “Clarke” had an 'e' at the end.


 I thought about my conversation with my mother-in-law and decided now was the time to step up and be the bigger person.  So I took a deep breath and just before I said goodbye, I told my father I loved him.  He got all choked up, said he loved me too and wished me goodnight.


 The following morning, while I was changing the baby's diaper, the phone rang.  It was Beth.  She told me that our father had been found dead in his apartment, of an apparent heart attack.  Beth said she was going to handle the arrangements for the funeral.   


 I didn't tell her I'd spoken with him the previous night.    


 Leanne's plan was simple.   “Tell Dad you love him and watch him die of a heart attack.”


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## Arma (Sep 18, 2011)

I liked this story


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## Blissful Lissy (Sep 23, 2011)

This sucked me right in. I want to know more about this character - was she thinking back on her childhood conversation when she told her Dad she loved him, or were the words genuine and heartfelt? I like the split of past/present/past you have here. I was enjoying the sweet father/daughter moment when the last line sucker punched me in the gut. Please, continue!


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## Josephine Falnor (Sep 23, 2011)

I really liked this. You did a good job making everything make sense, even though it was a short piece.

My main question is why did Jamie wait so long to try Leeanne's plan? Did she think it wouldn't work? Did she not want to take a chance on it working? I'd love to know more about these characters.


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## aj47 (Sep 23, 2011)

Well, I had the punchline before I had the story.   So I sort of worked backwards.  I was looking for the ambiguity of whether Jamie meant it or not.  Or whether, after-the-fact, she remembered the plan or what.   From the feedback I'm getting I think this revision is solid.  

Thank you all for reading my story, and for your comments.


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## Colden (Sep 23, 2011)

Kudos!  Easy flowing and I love the full circle plot.


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## Bluesman (Sep 23, 2011)

Just read your story well drinking my peppermint tea and taking a break from my attempt at a novel. i'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination but i like it. It was easy to follow and the twist at the end was neat. Poor chap dying like that, and how bad must his daughter have felt? 
 Is that it ?
Is it part of a book ?

Anyway thanks for sharing


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## aj47 (Sep 23, 2011)

Thank you for your kind words.

@Bluesman - no, it isn't part of a book, it's meant to stand alone.  Once I'm finished with tax school, I'm going to take it to my local writer's group -- they told me to revise it from the mess I had.  And they were right.


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## Josephine Falnor (Sep 23, 2011)

Ah, that makes sense.  In that case, I think you definitely accomplished it. While it's ambiguous, it still makes sense. That can be a tough balance to find.


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## Robdemanc (Oct 28, 2011)

Thats quite harsh.  Is this the opening?  Or the summary for the whole book?  Or is it a short story?

Dialogue is better on this one.   One thing stood out.  If it was a hidden patch of ice, how did the sister see it?


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## Bruce Wayne (Oct 31, 2011)

I found this a nice short read with a good twist at the end. I wonder if you have considered slightly re working this piece to make it a full blown humourous story? Just a thought because I think your premise has good comedic potential that could be taken advantage of.


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## Deyo (Nov 1, 2011)

What a well written story.  Working backwards leads to awesome things like how you used her last name as a plot device to give her dad a half decent excuse.  A terrible excuse would make the character unbeleivable, so it was still a good idea to give him the best excuse you could. Because the mood and the history you developed ensured the reader could tell it was a lie, without you having to add an italicized sure.   I think it's awesome how normal the events that passed where, yet it ended in homocide/manslaughter.  Unforunately I can not find anything bad to say, and for that, I am sorry.


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## Brock (Nov 1, 2011)

Great story that kept me focussed throughout (my mind wanders easily).  I would love to read more.


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## bazz cargo (Jun 7, 2015)

This is bonkers good. There is nothing like a dysfunctional family Christmas and a bit of psychological generalisation. 

Short, sharp and well observed.


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## escorial (Jun 7, 2015)

kind of unexpected..well done BC..i enjoyed it too..


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## Bevo (Jun 8, 2015)

In other on line forums the "bump" is frowned upon, here it's perfect!
i would not of read this without.

Love the story and can relate, my step daughter has a father like that.
The story rings true to experience real or not.

Well done.


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## crimewriter95 (Nov 16, 2015)

This is very nice for a short story. It flows very well.


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## Blade (Nov 16, 2015)

I think this works really well as a short story. It is self contained and flows along at a nice even pace. Great last line.:encouragement:



			
				Robdemanc said:
			
		

> One thing stood out. If it was a hidden patch of ice, how did the sister see it?



Ice can be be very deceptive visually. What you see or don't see can be purely a matter of perspective.


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