# I order you to...



## Ma'am (Dec 9, 2019)

Sometimes there are things I have to do that I just don't wanna do. At those times, I always think of how nice it would be to make someone else do it instead.

Therefore, this thread is to demand that someone else do that thing.

It is a very important thread. Also, it might work. You never know.


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## Ma'am (Dec 9, 2019)

I order you to git over here and clean the cat box. This very instant!


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## KenTR (Dec 9, 2019)

I order you to instill within me an urgent, uncompromising desire to forgo all of the petty nonsense I feel a need to attend to (like going to work and showering) and just write. Just sit down and write all day until there's no circulation in my lower legs. 

Also, what's with your cat? I found a turd in the shape of Donald Trump. 

I've impeached it.


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## Ma'am (Dec 9, 2019)

Oops.


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## Ralph Rotten (Dec 9, 2019)

I cleaned the cat box yesterday.


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## KenTR (Dec 9, 2019)

Today is actually the day I plan to wash out the cat box. Waiting for the little buggers to use it because they always seem to need go while it's drying. 

I order you to follow my cats around and cup your hands under their little butts until the box has dried.

yes you may use gloves.


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 9, 2019)

Hey you! Get rid of the cat box and install a cat flap in the back door. Then you can chop lemons into tiny bits and spread them all over the lawn to stop the little *** (cat) from going there.

When you have finished that clear up the garage and repair my car!


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## Ma'am (Dec 9, 2019)

I order you to clean this bedroom. It is the room for the day for cleaning!

After that, move my arms and legs to exercise me while I relax.

Also, bring me some soup.

Thank you.


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## Foxee (Dec 10, 2019)

You! Yeah, you there...just keep that coffee coming. 
Anytime the coffee in my cup gets past halfway or drops below the temperature I like just fix it! You hear me? 
Get it done! You have one job!


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## KenTR (Dec 10, 2019)

Stand in the corner of my bedroom and make ocean noises until I fall asleep.


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## Amnesiac (Dec 11, 2019)

Wash my dishes
Clean my floors
Wipe my windows
Scrub the doors
Clean the toilets
'til they glow
Then do my laundry
white as snow!
Cook my supper,
make sure its good
then walk my dog around
the neighborhood.
And when you've finished with all those chores,
Call up your friends, because they are nice young ladies with sterling reputations.


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## Ma'am (Dec 11, 2019)

I order you to write a short-short story for the weekly contest. This week's prompt is "a date." 

I order you to do it this instant. I know where you live.

https://www.writingforums.com/threa...-09-19-quot-A-Date-quot?p=2257901#post2257901


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## Ma'am (Dec 19, 2019)

I order you to drive me around town and accompany me to wherever I want to go so you can carry my bags. Bring your credit card. I want to get my hair done, and walk around the pet store. Oh, and if I feel like purchasing a large bird, I order you to take care of it. Thank you.


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## Foxee (Dec 20, 2019)

Get over here and wrap all my Christmas presents! And while you're at it, get me some eggnog and a cookie. Then exercise for me so I don't gain holiday poundage.


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 20, 2019)

Stop it raining. Enough already.


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## Amnesiac (Dec 20, 2019)

Ma'am said:


> I order you to drive me around town and accompany me to wherever I want to go so you can carry my bags. Bring your credit card. I want to get my hair done, and walk around the pet store. Oh, and if I feel like purchasing a large bird, I order you to take care of it. Thank you.



You've got it! Of course, the last large bird I bought, ended up with a couple pounds of stuffing shoved up its arse, then cooked for most of the night, and it was very tasty.


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## Ma'am (Dec 20, 2019)

Go git me a pizza!


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## Amnesiac (Dec 20, 2019)

Is that with or without extra bird topping?


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 20, 2019)

Amnesiac said:


> Is that with or without extra bird topping?


http://www.birdscustard.co.uk/

Fourth item down.


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## Ma'am (Dec 22, 2019)

I order you to finish cleaning this house. Then go buy the stuff and make a homemade cake, since I opened my mouth and offered, like a giant doofus. You be the giant doofus! Yes.


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 22, 2019)

I order you to be a bit more considerate of others and not nearly so bossy!


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## Ma'am (Dec 28, 2019)

I order you to write a flash fiction story for this week's challenge here. 

Then vote on the stories in last week's challenge here.


After that, clean out my master bedroom drawers, closet etc. and clear out the clutter. I'll flop on the bed and give further instructions, with a drink in hand and TV on, naturally.

Also, take down that Christmas tree. I'm tired of looking at it.

And hurry up. I don't have all damn day, you know. :upset:


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## KenTR (Dec 30, 2019)

Ma'am said:


> ..clean out my master bedroom drawers, closet etc. and clear out the clutter. I'll flop on the bed and give further instructions, with a drink in hand and TV on, naturally.
> 
> Also, take down that Christmas tree. I'm tired of looking at it.
> 
> And hurry up. I don't have all damn day, you know. :upset:



Sure you do! It's barely 10 am.


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## Olly Buckle (Dec 30, 2019)

I order you to start using the proper time, as it is shown on the dark line above your post, no more of this foreign made up time.

And you Ma'am, start putting your competition opening and closing times in GMT, if you go to the bottom of the page you will see it says *ALL* times in GMT, so stop trying to confuse us by using something else!


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## Ma'am (Dec 30, 2019)

I am so bored. I have so much to do but it's all boring. I order you to take me on a horseyback ride up to the store to buy some Cheetos. That would be fun, right?


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## KenTR (Dec 31, 2019)

Let me get this straight...you want me to get down on my hand and knees while you ride me to the store just so you can gorge on a bag of artificially flavored, heavily salted processed corn meal? I suppose that on the way back you will be whooping and hollering, waving your orange fists in the air and digging your heels into my kidneys whilst grinding Cheetos into the back of my neck, shouting commands (go right! go left! Up those stairs! Stop so I can get a two liter Mountain Dew!) while ignoring the trail of blood my torn up knees leave on the filthy sidewalk?

Sounds like a plan!

You know, there's a forum for people who share your peculiar desires. I order you to open an account and find me. My username is sassy_supplicant.


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## Ma'am (Dec 31, 2019)

KenTR said:


> Let me get this straight...you want me to get down on my hand and knees while you ride me to the store just so you can gorge on a bag of artificially flavored, heavily salted processed corn meal? I suppose that on the way back you will be whooping and hollering, waving your orange fists in the air and digging your heels into my kidneys whilst grinding Cheetos into the back of my neck, shouting commands (go right! go left! Up those stairs! Stop so I can get a two liter Mountain Dew!) while ignoring the trail of blood my torn up knees leave on the filthy sidewalk?
> 
> Sounds like a plan!
> 
> You know, there's a forum for people who share your peculiar desires. I order you to open an account and find me. My username is sassy_supplicant.



Thanks for making me spit my Mountain Dew all over the computer screen!


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 1, 2020)

I order you to sing this whilst dancing a jig.

Barleyjuice – Real Old Mountain Dew Lyrics
Let grasses grow and waters flow
In a free and easy way.
Just give me enough of that fine old stuff
That's made near Galway Bay.
And peelers all from Donegal,
Sligo and Leitrum, too.
We'll give them the slip and we'll have a sip
Of that real old mountain dew.
Hi the diddly idle um diddly doo idle um, diddly doo rah diddly-i-day
Hi the diddly idle um diddly doo idle um, diddly doo rah diddly-i-day


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## Ma'am (Jan 5, 2020)

So, we have a tie on the tiebreaker vote, which ends tonight.

I order you to vote so I don't have to do this again again next week.

https://www.writingforums.com/threa...reaker-Vote-12-16-19-quot-Winter-Holiday-quot


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## Gofa (Jan 14, 2020)

Ma’am   I order you to go buy a black leather jump suit whips and chains so the outside relates fully with that which must be within 

or am i too late

either way buying a second back up ward robe piece is fine


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## Foxee (Jan 14, 2020)

I order you to get me a dozen donuts! Now! I'm not kidding! I can't just keep living on apples. *bursts into hysterical tears*


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## River Rose (Jan 17, 2020)

I order you to...
serve me
want me 
bow before me
beg for me


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## Olly Buckle (Jan 17, 2020)

River Rose said:


> I order you to...
> serve me
> want me
> bow before me
> beg for me



*No !*


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## Amnesiac (Jan 17, 2020)

River Rose said:


> I order you to...
> serve me
> want me
> bow before me
> beg for me



Why would anyone want such a thing? Seems rather boring.


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## Foxee (Jan 19, 2020)

I order you to finish crocheting these slipper socks for me so that I can do other things. C'mon, you can do a star stitch and a decrease, I believe in you!

...and they'd better fit and be exactly the same. The little girl they're intended for MUST be pleased. Get to work!


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## Ma'am (Feb 6, 2020)

I order you to write a flash story for this week's Lean and Mean challenge. The prompt is: Valentine's Day.

https://www.writingforums.com/threa...-Challenge-02-03-20-quot-Valentine-s-Day-quot

Better git to it.


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## Ma'am (Mar 21, 2020)

I order you to write a short-short story for this week's Lean and Mean challenge- We have about 40 hours to go. This week's prompt is "the club," and you can interpret that any way you want. Here are the details.


And vote for a winner in last week's challenge here.



When you're done with that, I need my hair and nails done and so does my cat.


 ​


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## Olly Buckle (Mar 22, 2020)

Okay you lot, write me a sonnet. Fourteen lines in iambic pentameters with a change on line seven and a couplet at the end that rounds it off. Okay, jump to it.


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## Ma'am (Mar 22, 2020)

Olly Buckle said:


> Okay you lot, write me a sonnet. Fourteen lines in iambic pentameters with a change on line seven and a couplet at the end that rounds it off. Okay, jump to it.



I am far too dense to even know what that means lol.


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## Amnesiac (Mar 22, 2020)

I order you to cure the China-crud. (After two or three more days of quarantine, I mean)


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## Olly Buckle (Mar 22, 2020)

Ma'am said:


> I am far too dense to even know what that means lol.



Don't expect me to pass that by.

A sonnet is a sort of poem, the rest tells you what is special about it.
It has fourteen lines.
A syllable is a group of letters that contain one pronounced vowel, so star. pour, and cane are all one syllable words. 
A foot is the smallest unit of meter, it consists of a group of syllables one of which is stressed.
The simplest feet are iambs; an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed one, 'Iamb' is an iamb.
The meter of the poem is expressed by the sort and number of feet in a line, so a penta/meter has five feet, an iambic pentameter has five iambs, ten syllables.
The poem will be about something, but on line seven it changes its way of looking at the subject for five lines.
You should use a rhyming scheme for the first twelve lines.Then the last two lines sum up and round things off with a couplet, that is they rhyme with each other.

See, you don't have to be super clever to understand it, just know what the words mean.

It is a form that has been going strong for hundreds of years, people don't keep using something in that way unless there is something in it.


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## dither (Mar 22, 2020)

River Rose said:


> I order you to...
> serve me
> want me
> bow before me
> beg for me



Where is your dungeon and how much do you charge for this? I wonder. :lol:


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## Ma'am (Mar 29, 2020)

I order you to get me a spoon because I _just_ sat down and I forgot to stir the sweetener into my coffee.

Also, gimme some socks. My feet are cold.

Finally, CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM. AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!

Thank you.


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## Gofa (Mar 30, 2020)

Oh Ma’am Neo said there is no spoon
i will stir your coffee with your socks
that way your feet will be immediately warmed


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## Gofa (Mar 30, 2020)

Originally Posted by *River Rose* 


I order you to...
serve me
want me 
bow before me
beg for me

just this once
can you click my card 
as it seems if i get this 9 times 
i get one free


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## River Rose (Mar 30, 2020)

Gofa said:


> Originally Posted by *River Rose*
> 
> 
> I order you to...
> ...


I will happily click your card. 
Consider yourself clicked.
Just b warned,,,if u bow for me once
U will bow again
I have skills


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## midnightpoet (Mar 30, 2020)

i order you to clean my floors.  Yeah, the dog pooped over there.  Missed his pee pad again.  It's his favorite corner, he usually pisses on it when he gets mad at me (like if I delay dinner five minutes).  Now, fold those towels and sheets.  Fill those ice trays.  When you're finished you can mow my lawn. Git 'er done!


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## River Rose (Mar 30, 2020)

I will happily click your card
Consider yourself clicked 
Just b warned,,,if u bow for me once 
U will bow for me again 
I have skills.


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## Gofa (Mar 30, 2020)

Nice Kitty


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## Gofa (Mar 30, 2020)

Ma’am   Looking at your current Avatar that new diet you were trying was not the success you had hoped for


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## Ma'am (Apr 3, 2020)

I order youse to vote!

https://www.writingforums.com/threads/186970-Lean-and-Mean-Vote-03-23-20-quot-The-Grab-Bag-quot

Then, I order youse to write! Two more days and change to go and the prompt is: primitive.

https://www.writingforums.com/threads/186968-Lean-and-Mean-Challenge-03-30-20-quot-Primitive-quot

I know people are busy with NaPoWriMo (or however you write that) as well as just getting through this crazy month. However, we only have a couple of votes and a couple of stories. So get to it! Tick Tock! I know where you live!!!!

Ahem. Thank you for your consideration.


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## Gofa (Apr 29, 2020)

If you know where I live you are then aware that following your orders is voter fraud


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## Ma'am (May 17, 2020)

I order you to write a short-short story for this week's Lean and Mean challenge. You still have 23 1/2 hours so get to it! Details are here.
https://www.writingforums.com/threads/188068-Lean-and-Mean-Challenge-05-11-20-quot-The-Servant-quot

When you're done with that, vote!

https://www.writingforums.com/threads/188070-Lean-and-Mean-Vote-05-04-20-quot-Several-Loises-quot

Then, I order you to fold the laundry and put it away, dust, vacuum, mop and take out the trash. Then do my nails. Also, I'm getting sick of being a grown up so a horsey ride would be cool too.


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## Ralph Rotten (May 19, 2020)

I order you to order a pizza.
Za is food of the gods.


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## Olly Buckle (May 20, 2020)

I order you to get out the rhino hide and margarine, paint your face and get dancing. I want RAIN.


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## BigBagOfBasmatiRice (Jun 1, 2020)

I order you to get the rest you need...the rest of what, though?


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