# Peace seeker



## Firemajic (Oct 30, 2015)

Let me leave the way I wish
give me this one last gift
let me have some control
may God have mercy on my soul

Let ME choose how I want to die
let me decide when to say goodbye
when I am ready I will know
may God have mercy on my soul

For my final sin I am willing to pay
the price for throwing my life away
this is one thing I will control
may God have mercy on my soul

Let me find the peace I seek
from secrets I dare not speak
just say goodbye and let me go
and pray for mercy on my soul

Now the dark has turned to light
and I found peace a beautiful sight
I finally have control
and God had mercy on my soul


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## escorial (Oct 30, 2015)

i like the end....


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## Amnesiac (Oct 30, 2015)

Agonizing...


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## rcallaci (Oct 30, 2015)

a beautiful poem--- although quite disturbing... many different turns to this piece---


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## LeeC (Oct 30, 2015)

Dark to light, with a varying levels of connection. Thank you.


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## PiP (Oct 30, 2015)

This is a powerful poem, fire.


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## Sonata (Oct 31, 2015)

Beautiful words for a not-so-beautiful subject, but you were right at the end - G-d always has mercy on souls that seek peace.


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## Doc Martin (Oct 31, 2015)

The words are powerful and soothing yet the poem made me feel uncomfortable,

until,

I realized the peace that was revealed at the end.

Nice work.


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## kbsmith (Oct 31, 2015)

no such thing as control. we are all just ants marching circles to our demise


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## Courtjester (Oct 31, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> Let me leave the way I wish
> give me this one last gift
> let me have some control
> may God have mercy on my soul . . .


A beautiful poem, dear Julia. Thank you for sharing it with us here. 
I showed it to Aquarius, who would like to share the following on this theme:

*Suicide - Not The Answer*​ 
God, our Divine Father/Mother, some to prefer to call this the ultimate authority of Creation the Universe, is part of us as much as we are part of It. It is with everybody and knows the way of all things, including our hearts and souls. It knows them better than we ourselves do. God is aware of everyone’s past, present and future, and appreciates when one of us has suffered long and hard enough, has taken in a sufficient amount of their present earthly lessons and simply cannot take any more.

Apart from being omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent God is merciful. Whenever a soul has truly reached the end of the line, the Angel of Death takes it back into the world of spirit, its true home, where it is tenderly ministered to. Here it rests and receives healing, until it is ready to be confronted with itself and the way it has coped with the lessons of all its lifetimes thus far.

There is no such thing as Judgement Day. Because the Universe loves us, it never judges anyone. Instead, we are required to evaluate ourselves. Only when the purpose of any given lifetime has been fulfilled is the human soul called back home. It makes no difference at what earthly age this takes place and in what manner we depart from this plane. To talk about anyone’s earthly demise as ‘untimely’, to my mind, means to doubt the great wisdom and love of our Creator. The Great Spirit is the Father/Mother of all life. This is the highest authority over everything in the whole of Creation and the only one who has any true power; nothing is beyond or outside Its will. Therefore, no soul’s departure from the Earth plane ever takes place without Its consent and that applies to any kind of death, including suicide. 

No matter how low a soul may have fallen or how depraved it has become, in the course of this lifetime or any other, none of us will ever be beyond the love, the mercy and the forgiveness of God. This is the only authority in the whole of Creation who can truly appreciate when any soul’s mental, physical and/or spiritual struggle has been going on for long enough. When the suffering of any particular soul threatens to be more than the amount that is good and reasonable for its growth to endure, the Angel of Death draws close and releases us. 

I do believe that the manner and the moment of our death are predestined and that suicides are no exception to this. After all, it is but one of many ways of returning to the world of light. Nothing in God’s Creation can ever be truly lost and every experience is valuable somehow. And the great transformation from one state of life into the other is always intended to provide valuable lessons for all involved, on both sides of the veil of consciousness that separates our earthly existence from our true home, the world of spirit.

Whenever the going gets too tough for our liking, what is it that stops us from trying to escape this life wholesale and leaping off its edge like lemmings into the sea? The wisdom of our Creator has stored in the deepest innermost recesses of every soul’s memories the sacred knowledge of our own true nature and home, and that is the place our soul yearns for and wishes to be released to when life becomes too hard to endure. But, the laws of the Universe decree that every soul must evolve and grow. The Highest Self and the Guardian Angel know this; they are guiding and protecting the small earthly self and taking it through the whole of its education, at all times standing by in total and unconditional love. Although they are ready to catch us when we fall, they will not interfere with any soul’s learning; if help is wanted it has to be asked for.

 However, once we have learnt the lesson of killing ourselves, the memories of this event – before, during and after – are converted into one of the most valuable properties any soul can have. They are stored and referred to in coming lifetimes when particularly harrowing experiences have to be undergone. Such recollections are what stops large parts of our race from committing mass suicide, for example during times of wars and famines. Undoubtedly, this too is a gift from the Universe because it stops us from wasting precious lifetimes and delaying our evolutionary progress by unnecessarily repeating painful and traumatic occurrences like taking our own lives. 

Every soul’s final destiny is constantly winking at all of us from afar and that is our loving reunion with our Source; the state that some religions describe as Paradise. To reach it, our soul has to cleanse and purify itself of all earthly desires and concerns; this process continues until the human energies are compatible again with those of God. Only then can a full merger take place. Now, who in their right senses would want to get away from that? 

This highlights the urgency of seriously getting to work on the development of our character. Besides, the closer one comes to the light of the knowledge of humankind’s true being, the more one realises that when on the surface of life things at times seem too difficult to handle, taking one’s own life never has been or will be an escape route at all. But, the same as all lessons of life in physicality, the one of suicide can only be learnt through first hand experiences. That is why every soul has to end its earthly existence in this manner at least once.

From ‘The Spiritual Aspects Of Depression And Suicide’

* * *

​


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## Bard_Daniel (Oct 31, 2015)

Nice. Really nice Firemajic!

I commend you.


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## Nellie (Oct 31, 2015)

Julia, You had me worried after I began reading this compelling poem. I've had those thoughts at some very down-and-out times in my life. Depression can be an overpowering emotion that overtakes the brain if not handled with proper treatment. Even the best writers have suffered from depression. Charles Dickens, Emily Dickinson, Bob Dylan, Ernest Hemingway, Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath...... just a few writers who all suffered from depression and some who went over the edge.
Thanks so much for sharing this deep part of you.


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## Firemajic (Oct 31, 2015)

thanks to all who read "Peace Seeker" ... I appreciate all the comments... but in the end, we all have to find peace the way that is best for each of us... and for me, it is about control...


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## escorial (Oct 31, 2015)

control...that has two connotations with this piece...but you say for me and still i get the vibe..two ways of control...one to choose and one to control a situation...one is unsure about such things in a piece written from one perspective and ending with a subjective ending...


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## inkwellness (Nov 1, 2015)

OOOOOO! Firemajic I didn't know you had it in you! Bravo!


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## Firemajic (Nov 2, 2015)

inkwellness, thank you for reading and thank for your fabulous comment...


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## Courtjester (Nov 5, 2015)

_*Searching For Inner Peace
*_
_*





*_
​ Since time immemorial human beings have  been trying to recover  the blissful state of peace we once knew when we  still were fully aware  of our oneness with our Creator, the Great  Father/Mother of all life.  It is therefore not surprising that during  the earlier phases of our  earthly development, to this day the favourite  escape route from the  demands of the trouble and strife of Earth life  is the use of a  multitude of substances like alcohol and drugs. It is  for wise reasons  that the peace we are after can only be found on the  inner and higher  levels of life. That is why, for as long as we insist  on looking for it  on the Earth plane, all our attempts of this nature  are bound to be in  vain.  

The only way of re-entering into the peaceful state is through regularly   communicating in prayers, meditations and quiet reflections with our   Highest or God Self. Over time this re-establishes our inner connection   with it. As each one of us can only do this for themselves, nothing is   lost when the earthly self in the early stages of its development   discovers to its disappointment that no matter what it tries, time and   again it fails to find peace and that on each occasion it has been   barking up yet another wrong tree. The mental and physical health   problem this kind of experimenting brings with it, together with the   fears and anxieties caused by the ignorance of our true nature and the   purpose of our earthly existence, topped by the sheer drudgery of Earth   life, the best and only way out of this predicament in the end appears   to be suicide. 

And so we attempt to finish our life. What a surprise awaits us if we   succeed and get to the other side of the veil that separates our two   worlds. We can then see for ourselves that the death of our physical   body has been but a transformation into a different lifestate and that   death is not at all like the kind we had been dreaming of in earthly   life. When we ourselves no longer dwell in a physical body, there is no   longer any doubt in our mind that human beings are spirit and soul, who   merely sometimes get encased – trapped – in physical bodies. Once  again  we are aware that all human spirits and souls are immortal and  will  never die. 

Now we are clothed in our astral body, which is of a much finer and   lighter substance than our physical body, under which it is worn.   Released from the limitations and restrictions of Earth life, we are   ready to enjoy the greater freedom of the spirit world and take part in   the learning available there. At a later stage of our development the   astral body will also be shed. What a joy it is to know again that even   the last one of us will eventually do this and move on to ever higher   and more elevated levels of experiencing life.

Let me leave the way I wish
give me this one last gift
let me have some control
may God have mercy on my soul

Let ME choose how I want to die
let me decide when to say goodbye
when I am ready I will know
may God have mercy on my soul

For my final sin I am willing to pay
the price for throwing my life away
this is one thing I will control
may God have mercy on my soul

Let me find the peace I seek
from secrets I dare not speak
just say goodbye and let me go
and pray for mercy on my soul

Now the dark has turned to light
and I found peace a beautiful sight
I finally have control
and God had mercy on my soul

Julia WF

​ The feelings expressed in this poem and  the writer’s longing for  being in control, this in itself is the  obstacle that stands in the  way of finding the inner peace all of us are  hoping to find one day and  never can, for as long as we look for it on  the Earth plane. It is  this trying to stay in control no matter what  that stunts so much of  humankind’s spiritual growth and hinders its  progress on the  evolutionary spiral of life. Wise ones, however,  whenever they have to  confront difficult situations, surrender them to  the Highest and most  humbly pray: ‘Please show me the way. Thy Will and  not mine shall be  done! May Thy will be mine and my will be Thine, so  that everything  unfolds in accordance with your will and wishes.’ 

Following the intuitive guidance they receive from their inner selves,   the living God within, enables them to come into alignment with the flow   of their lives and go with it. 

All of life is flowingness
And in this flowing, 
There is meaning and law.
I cannot lose, what is my own.
I need not seek, what is my own,
For what belongs to me, will come.
Whatever goes does not belong to me.
Only what I am has power.
I now give up my personal struggles and ambitions,
Knowing that everything that is rightfully mine
Will then be drawn to me.

Therefore, I now let go,
And trust my inner guidance
And the love and wisdom of the Highest,
To run my life for me
And to show me the way, now and forever.

Amen

​ The cross is one of the most ancient  symbols known to humankind.  It was not invented by Christianity, but  merely adopted from much more  ancient religions and cultures that  preceded it. The cross’s vertical  bar stands for the God’s Will, as it  reaches down from Heaven to Earth.  The horizontal one is the symbol of  humankind’s will for as long as it  crosses the Will of God and struggles  against it. When the two bars at  last have been taken apart and are  lying peacefully side by side and  working harmoniously together, there  is no more cross and there is  PEACE!

In its original sense it never stood for death and crucifixion, but for   the goodness and blessings of Earth life. It is intended to convey the   idea that the human spirit with the assistance of its Highest Self is   capable of overcoming and rising above everything that happens on the   physical plane. The cross contains the message that until all human   spirits and souls in their earthly existence, have imbibed their lessons   in the course of many lifetimes. Until they have become sufficiently   evolved, they have to remain firmly fixed to the cross of consciousness   of earthly life. 

There is no point in fighting against any of this because the material   and spiritual education that our planet alone can provide is essential   for our individual and collective evolutionary development. That’s why   it is compulsory and unavoidable for all of us. Going with the flow and   submitting ourselves willingly to whatever presents itself to us is the   best we can do. This brings us much more easily into harmony with the   energies of the Highest Forces than anything else. We have been granted   the gift of another lifetime so that we may serve them and learn how  to  co-operate with them.  

Extract from
‘God’s Lament Of The Piscean Age’

Unbeknown to your earthly selves for far too long
I, the Divine Spirit in you and all life,
Have been held prisoner by the darkness of humankind’s
Ignorance of its own true nature and Mine.
This bred false beliefs, prejudices and superstitions,
Which now stand in the way of 
Your personal and collective evolution.
To set yourself free and fully reconnect with Me, 
You have to let go of each one of them.

Know that you are responsible for yourselves,
Your whole race and world, 
And every one of your thoughts, words and actions, 
You are the captain of the ship of your own life and destiny.
Although you are in charge, 
You will always be accountable to Me.
I am the Admiral of the great fleet of humankind
In the vast ocean of life of the whole of Creation.
I am the Supreme Commander of all beings and things.

​ White Eagle: ‘Try not to overlook your  constant need for  remaining calm, tranquil and still within. Even when  you are active  with your hands and doing all kinds of work on the  physical plane to  serve those you love, deep within it is possible to  keep still and  tranquil deep within, at peace and looking up to the  Angels.

‘Every one of your actions has its origin in your innermost centre. It   is the basis of all life and the place where your own and everybody   else’s Highest or God Self dwells. It knows the answer to any question   you may ever care to ask. Your ability to act in more and more positive   and harmonious ways grows when you are still within. When you  strengthen  your inner connection with the spirit of the living God  inside you, you  will find that you are gradually reacting to life in  ever more perfect  ways.’

White Eagle Calendar November 2016: ‘On the astral plane all limitations   fall away and the soul perfectly expresses itself in colour, form and   music. This brings intense happiness.’ 

Recommended Reading:
•    ‘Walking Away From Drama’

Dedicated to Julia, who inspired this new chapter of my jottings,
and to all those who are searching and suffering like her,
With love – Aquarius 

From ‘The Spiritual Aspects Of Depression And Suicide’

* * *
​


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## Firemajic (Nov 5, 2015)

Dear Courtjester.. please pass this message along to Aquarius." Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom, they have brought great comfort to me and made my world a brighter, and a more beautiful place... may your spirit dwell in peace and love.. your friend Julia.. AKA Firemajic."


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## Courtjester (Nov 6, 2015)

Glad to hear that you are enjoying it so much. I have passed your message on to Aquarius, who is so delighted about your response that it has been added to the Feedback section of RoW. Hope that's all right with you. And peace be with you, always. Cj


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## Firemajic (Nov 6, 2015)

:angel::angel::angel: Fabulous... Thank you...


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## Josh Colon (Nov 6, 2015)

Dear Julia,
I did like this.
The structure, the rhyme schemes, the emotions displayed within it . . all Good.

It is a subject fraught with difficulties.
On the one hand, I personally feel a body ought to have the right to end their lives if they want to . . . .
On the other hand, such an action is pretty final and it should not be taken lightly.  There are usually a LOT of other people who will be affected by it.

Personally I hope you will be with us for a very long time.
Josh.


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## Firemajic (Nov 6, 2015)

Josh, I sincerely thank you for your kind comments.. but for me, it is about the quality of life.. not quantity..and I want to be allowed to check out... I had no choice in being born... so I should at least control when I leave. Thanks for reading...


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## Aquarius (Nov 9, 2015)

Hello Julia. Here I am to thank you in person for expressing your feelings so powerfully in this poem and for allowing me, through Courtjester, to respond to it. Hope you're having a good day and bit by bit finding a measure of peace. 

God bless and take care. 

With love - Aquarius

 :hi:​


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## Firemajic (Nov 9, 2015)

Thank you Aquarius for your kind words...I appreciate ..


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