# Lesson Of The Tractor



## Hairball (Nov 9, 2015)

Lesson of the Tractor

I got behind a guy on a tractor on the way to work a few years ago. As I was following him, I got frustrated. I followed him down the mountain, and my conscience was bugging me the whole time. So I re-wrote this as if Pook and Saav were my conscience, and yes, the ending is absolutely true. Pook and Saav are my youngest adult cats, the inspirations for my book about talking cats.

Enjoy!!

We all run late every now and then; something will hold us up and prevent us from leaving on time, or something will happen en route to our destination to compromise our expected time of arrival. It happens; this is life. Life is, at best, unpredictable, and no matter how much we fight this unpredictability it wins on occasion; if for no other reason than to teach us a well-needed lesson.

Today was my day for a lesson. It was a beastly hot day: 90º and 95% humidity...and here I am in a car with a black interior and no air conditioning. My compressor had konked out and we hadn’t fixed it yet, therefore I got to drive a sauna to work at 3:00 in the afternoon. The country roads I drive on are very winding and steep, so I don’t really get to drive over about 40mph; this means I don’t get a whole lot of breeze going on inside the car. Oh, well. I figure things could be a lot worse. At least I have a car that runs just fine otherwise.

Plus, I had company today with me in the car. Buckled into their little harnesses and belted in were Pook and Saav. They had been bugging me to take them to work with me and --

Pook: Bugging? Think again! 
Saav: Yeah, what's with the bugging stuff? 
Pook: More like you've been telling us forever you were going to take us to work one day, Mom. You just had to pick the hottest day of the year for it!

Okay, anyway, I was taking Pook and Saav to work with me to see the site and play near the stream and enjoy the outdoors.

Pook: Enjoy the outdoors? It's hot, there's bugs, in case you haven't noticed we're wearing fur, and I heard Daddy talking about snakes. Yuck!
Saav: Stream? Waters! Oh boy!

I look at my watch. 2:55pm. No problem. I’ll be at work 20 minutes early and everyone will be happy. I turn onto the little 2-lane mountain road and prepare for the long run down, then up again and up even more into the hills. I love this area, scary roads and all. I was raised here; I learned to drive here. No wonder I like flying a plane better. Straight road? What’s that?

Pook: Arrrgggghh! Watch the trees!
Saav: Forget the trees! There must be a 100-foot drop along here!

Off I go into the woods, and not half a mile goes by when I come around a blind curve and there it is. The “something” that will compromise my expected time of arrival has appeared; a guy on a very slow-moving big farm tractor is right in front of me going 15 miles an hour.

Pook: What kind of car is that?
Saav: Dang, looks like it's missing some stuff. Like windows, and a roof and doors.

I sigh in frustration. Traffic, mostly tourists, line up behind me, and the one behind me seems particularly impatient. I take a good look at him behind me: a huge white Chevrolet Suburban with Texas plates. He seems to think the slowdown has something to do with my tailpipes. I change his mind quickly with a double-tap on the brakes. He backs off. I sigh at the tractor again, and wish the guy there would turn off the road and let us by. There are plenty of places he could pull off to.

Me: Grrrrrrr, can't he pull off the road for a minute and let us by?
Pook: Where? There's no place to put whatever that is, it's huge.
Saav: What is it, anyway? It smells funny.
Me: It's a farm tractor. Dang, there's a nice driveway he can use! Right there!
Pook: (Gasp) Oh noooo! Mom, those little flowers are too close to the gravel, the tires will kill them and tear up the gravel!
Saav: What if we lived there, Mom? You wouldn't want a tractor messing up your gravel and killing your flowers. That is really inconsiderate! 
Pook: Besides, if he's on a farm tractor, he's a farmer and understands growing things. He won't do that to anyone's flowers. That's mean to want other people's things messed up, Mom. I can't believe you'd actually wish for that.

I was shocked that what seemed like an insignificant comment could have such an impact.

Me: Oh no! I don't wish bad things on people! I didn't realize it would tear up the gravel and kill the flowers. No, of course he can't go there. Bad idea.
Pook: It certainly was. 
Saav: Good thing he doesn't think like you, Mom.

I was a little embarrassed, but the lesson stuck. Suddenly my normal way of thinking had been called into question, and now I realized I needed to make some changes.

Me: But it is soooo dang hot, really, he’s going just too slowly and I’m roasting back here.
Pook: Oh? He’s not hot? Has he got a cool drink anywhere up there with him? Have you seen a water or soda bottle in his hand at all? 
Saav: And what about that sweat-stained t-shirt on his back? You think you’re hot? There isn’t even a roof or any shade over him on that thing. You have a roof and tinted windows...geez, Mom, you're so spoiled!
Pook: I bet he’s been working in fields all day. What have you done? Load the dishes in the dishwasher, maybe a little straightening, taking it easy in air-conditioned comfort before leaving for work? What a whiner!

Gaaahhhh....Pook and Saav were really giving me down the road by now, but I went with it. There had to be a reason for it. It was making so much sense!

Me: Can’t he go just a little faster?
Pook: And will the earth fall out of orbit if you’re a few minutes late for work? No? Then who cares? Look at how beautiful the trees are. 
Saav: No, he can’t go any faster. It’s an old tractor; besides, those things can be prone to rolling over, so Daddy says. You want him to get hurt? What kind of person are you, anyway?
Me: No! I don't want him to get hurt! Yes, they are easy to turn over sometimes, but no, honey, I don't want anyone to get hurt. I'm not a bad person...at least I hope I'm not. But there's those others behind us too, girls.
Pook: Who are in better shape than you are right now, meaning they have air conditioning, and at least one is a tourist, and if they have issues about being in a hurry, they need to deal with it. You deal with yourself. What are you doing to make the world better?
Saav: Better yet, what are you doing to make yourself a better person for the world? 
Me: Arrrggggh I don’t have the patience for this!
Pook: Funny, your car does; it’s doing just fine. Thought human beings were superior to machines. 
Saav: Right. When was the last time you saw a washing machine play ice hockey?

I couldn't even think of arguing with that. Too much was happening now, in my mind. Indeed, what kind of person am I? What am I doing to make the world better? What am I doing to better myself for the world? Washing machines playing ice hockey? Holy cow! Where do two cats get this stuff? Mental note: check history on computer when I get home.

As we followed him down the mountain, other thoughts came along quickly.

Me: I wonder how old he is.
Pook: He’s got grey hair, thinning, so he’s older than you. 
Saav: Yeah, and how would you like to be out on that tractor in this heat at your age? Think he likes it? 
Me: No, I'm guessing he'd much rather be more comfortable. I wonder where he’s going.
Pook: Hopefully home, where he can cool off and maybe take it easy. But he probably won’t. He’s probably one of so very many farmers who, after working on their own places, stop to help their friends and neighbors too before calling it a day. 
Saav: He probably has a lot to do before he gets to go home, bless his heart. It must be tough trying to feed the world. Talk about someone making the world better, well, there's one.
Me: Yeah, he sure is. But I wish he’d take another road, really, if he could.
Pook: You think these guys get out here on these tractors on purpose just to slow a few cars down? That’s stupid. 
Saav: Of course he would take another road if he could. He probably just came from another one and you didn’t see it. Stop assuming things, Mom; it’s unattractive.
Me: He needs to be drinking some water. I don’t see anything there.
Pook: Now you’re listening.
Saav: It's about time!
Me: I have some drinking water.
Pook: Yes, you do.
Saav: Go water a farmer.
Me: He’s turning. So am I.
Pook: Woooooo!
Saav: Yeah!

I grabbed two bottles of water (I always keep some in a cooler in the car) which aren’t exactly very cold, but it is fresh drinking water (store brand spring water) and get out of the car after honking and waving, getting him to stop. I run up to the tractor.

Not a bottle or a can in sight. I handed him the bottles. “Too hot out here!” I smiled, holding the bottles out to him. “Here. They’re not exactly cold, but they’ll fix a dry throat.”
“What? Oh...” he took the bottles. “Oh thank you ma’am! I thought you were going to cuss me.”
“Cuss you? No! Just wanted to say thank you. You taught me a lesson today and I needed it.”
“Oh...not me, ma’am, I don’t know you,” he said, looking puzzled. 
I laughed. “I know. But it was you as I followed you down [highway] 64. Thank you.”
“Well, okay...but you are an angel,” he smiled, raising the bottle. “God will bless you for this.”
I smiled as we shook hands. “Be safe, and God bless you,” I said, and went back to the car.

Pook: Would you be smiling inside like you are now if you hadn’t been stuck behind that tractor?
Me: No, not at all.
Saav: Welcome to the rest of your life.

I love my cats!


I've never been impatient behind a tractor or a farm truck since.


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## bazz cargo (Nov 15, 2015)

Okay.

Interesting premise. There are a few things that could help a reader. Layout: Unlike paper based work the screen has a few style issues. Small text, very large text, coloured text and odd fonts can be hard on the eye. None of those apply here. 

White space. This is a link to an example 

http://www.writingforums.com/threads/161245-The-Devl-s-Deceptions-(Chapter-4)-(swearing)

Notice how there is an empty line between lines of dialogue. Also the way  paragraphs are kept short. Little things like that make a big difference. 

Content:

There are no real SPaG issues. First person suits this well, I'm not sure about breaking into scriptease works so well. Inner monologue is frequently displayed in_ italics_. The, cat conversation might work better the same way. Writing, like a lot of things in life, is an experiment. Sometimes you have to try something out. 

I did find this long. That is probably my fault for working in the Flash format for too long. 

Thoughts:

This is an early version. I would leave it for a month and then return for an edit. Doing so will teach you a lot about structure and add confidence in how you convey the character of the MC. 

Thank you for sharing this delight.
BC


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## InstituteMan (Nov 15, 2015)

There's a lot of promise to this piece. I'm a big fan of learning big lessons from small occurrences in life, and I think those make great stories. The entire story is well-conceived. The format you chose is a tricky one to pull off, but you do an admirable job.

I agree with Bazz on length: this feels a little too long for the dialogue-heavy approach you take. The three party dialogue presented as a script became hard for me to read after a while. That could mean the entire thing needs to be shortened, but it could mean that more active narrative is needed to break up the dialogue.

On the topic of the three-way dialogue, there's not much here to help the reader distinguish between the two cats. I'd suggest either consolidating them into a single character for this story or distinguishing them from one another further. I find it hard to write about characters (including cats!) from my real life because I know their personality and backstory so well that I leave out information because I unconsciously assume the reader will know it already.

One final thought about your introduction: try a version of the story that just plunges into the telling without declaring anything about the lesson to be learned. I think the result could wind up grabbing people faster and stronger.

This is a good job at a very tricky approach to the story. I look forward to reading more of your work!


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## jenthepen (Nov 15, 2015)

I like the basic premise of your story. It's quite a philosophical idea, that we are surrounded by life lessons if we only took the time to notice them.

The way you have used your cats as your conscience is quite clever. It might, though, come across as a little twee to people who are not such ardent fans of our furry friends. If you could alter the persona of each of the cats to make them slightly humorous and witty, I think it would broaden the appeal of your story - the moral it contains makes it worthy of a wide readership.

Thanks for posting this, I enjoyed reading it.

jen


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## Harper J. Cole (Nov 15, 2015)

Thank you, that was a fun tale! Your cats hold you to high standards. 

I could only see a couple of minor things to consider.




> It was a beastly hot day: 90º and 95% humidity...and *here I am* in a car with a black interior and no air conditioning.




I'd change this to 'there I was', as you're using past tense at this point.




> Traffic, mostly tourists, line up *behind me*, and the one *behind me* seems particularly impatient. I take a good look at him *behind me*: a huge white Chevrolet Suburban with Texas plates.



It's best to avoid using the same phrase two or three times in quick succession like this - perhaps the 2nd one could be replaced with 'directly behind' and the third one dropped entirely.

HC


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## Hairball (Nov 15, 2015)

Thanks so much! Am I allowed to copy and paste all your suggestions and critiques to a notepad so I can bring those up quickly when I fix this?

Sometimes when I write, I'm not online. Is this allowed?

I love you guys! Thanks again!


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## InstituteMan (Nov 15, 2015)

Hairball said:


> Thanks so much! Am I allowed to copy and paste all your suggestions and critiques to a notepad so I can bring those up quickly when I fix this?
> 
> Sometimes when I write, I'm not online. Is this allowed?
> 
> I love you guys! Thanks again!



Go right ahead! That's how I work.


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## jenthepen (Nov 16, 2015)

Glad to be some help.


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## Hairball (Nov 16, 2015)

I know I've said this before, but it defintely bears repeating here. I wish I had found you good folks when I was writing my book.

Thank you all for taking the time to read and critique my stories and poem. There should be the Crazy Cat Lady award to anyone brave enough to read all my junk about cats!


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## Courtjester (Dec 7, 2015)

Another nice one from your pen. Thank you. Cj


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