# Which film would you class as really, really awful?



## Paulbee (Jun 19, 2014)

My choice has to be  'Plan 9 From Outer Space'. A truly dreadful science fiction film from the 50s. For a start what happened to plans 1 to 8? UFO's consisting of hub caps (seriously) dangling from wires and Lon Chaney marching about cloak pulled over lower half of face for no reason I could fathom. 
I give them the three chain gun smiley award. 
:ChainGunSmiley::ChainGunSmiley::ChainGunSmiley:


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

Every horror movie sequel(s) ever made


----------



## J.T. Chris (Jun 19, 2014)

That American Idol movie, _From Justin to Kelly_, or whatever.


----------



## Gyarachu (Jun 19, 2014)

J.T. Chris said:


> That American Idol movie, _From Justin to Kelly_, or whatever.



Oh gawd, that's actually a thing?

Why, world? Why??

I once saw a movie called _The Minis _starring Dennis Rodman. Picture Sp_ace Jam _with little people/dwarves instead of cartoon characters, a budget of about twelve pesos, and a script written for a sixth grade English project.

Because you're curious now:

[video=youtube;Z03KiZvFG7s]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z03KiZvFG7s[/video]


----------



## PiP (Jun 19, 2014)

Really, really, REALLY awful? Worst film ever...

Saving Private Ryan
_1998 American epic war film set during the Invasion of Normandy in World War II. Directed by Steven Spielberg and written by Robert Rodat, the film is notable for its graphic and realistic portrayal of war, and for the intensity of its opening 27 minutes, which depict the Omaha Beach assault of June 6, 1944. It follows United States Army Rangers Captain John H. Miller (Tom Hanks) and a squad (Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Barry Pepper, Vin Diesel, Giovanni Ribisi, Adam Goldberg and Jeremy Davies) as they search for a paratrooper, Private First Class James Francis Ryan (Matt Damon), who is the last-surviving brother of four servicemen._


----------



## J.T. Chris (Jun 19, 2014)

PiP said:


> Really, really, REALLY awful? Worst film ever...
> 
> Saving Private Ryan
> _1998 American epic war film set during the Invasion of Normandy in World War II. Directed by Steven Spielberg and written by Robert Rodat, the film is notable for its graphic and realistic portrayal of war, and for the intensity of its opening 27 minutes, which depict the Omaha Beach assault of June 6, 1944. It follows United States Army Rangers Captain John H. Miller (Tom Hanks) and a squad (Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Barry Pepper, Vin Diesel, Giovanni Ribisi, Adam Goldberg and Jeremy Davies) as they search for a paratrooper, Private First Class James Francis Ryan (Matt Damon), who is the last-surviving brother of four servicemen._



Surely you jest.


----------



## dale (Jun 19, 2014)

Paulbee said:


> My choice has to be  'Plan 9 From Outer Space'. A truly dreadful science fiction film from the 50s. For a start what happened to plans 1 to 8? UFO's consisting of hub caps (seriously) dangling from wires and Lon Chaney marching about cloak pulled over lower half of face for no reason I could fathom.
> I give them the three chain gun smiley award.
> :ChainGunSmiley::ChainGunSmiley::ChainGunSmiley:



lol. it was bela legosi. he was dying when he made that film and all messed up on morphine. he actually died during the making of the film.
the producers just kept him in there so they could milk his name for every cent they could get.


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

The Land Before Time 12 years later


----------



## PiP (Jun 19, 2014)

J.T. Chris said:


> Surely you jest.



No, I'm not jesting. I was stuck in the front row of the cinema and had to sit it out. It was a pretty pointless film of graphic violence.


----------



## Bishop (Jun 19, 2014)

The remake/prequel of The Thing.

The Thing was one of the greatest (if not THE greatest) sci-fi horror films of all time, and then they do this... remake/prequel... thing... that mutilates the original movie in many ways--the worst being the effects. The computer effects of the 2011 The Thing were worse than the non-computer effects of the 1982 film. That alone is sad enough, but they also added a token woman (in 80s Antarctica, which makes no sense; also not in keeping with the first film where there were no women in the Norwegian camp) and threw in some Americans so that all of the Norwegians were forced to speak in English. While nit picky, these things were just annoyances, the biggest issue they had was that _I knew who the thing was the whole movie_. John Carpenter's The Thing had me guessing from top to bottom. The movie would make you think guy A was the thing, so I try and see who it would be based on the movie trying to hide it, so I think it's guy B. Turns out? Guy C was the thing, and you'd not even considered it. Oh, yeah, and guy A was the thing too. Guy B was fine. You were wrong, Bishop. Now run in fear and never trust anyone again. With the new version, it was "It's guy B." And then it turns out to be guy B. And again. And again. It was just so poorly written in that respect, and instead of the true fear and paranoia that the first one inspired, the new one just used cheap horror movie tactics to try and scare me.

The first The Thing had one moment where something jumped out at you unexpectedly, and it was, without a doubt, the most masterful and terrifying jump-out-at-you moment in film, methinks. It is, of course, the blood test scene--if you don't know, then GO WATCH THE THING RIGHT NOW.

Whew. Rant over.

Also, the ACTUAL worst movie ever made, without a doubt, is *Manos the Hands of Fate*. This movie was made by an insurance and fertilizer salesman on a bet that he could make a good horror movie. That's right. He sold insurance AND fertilizer.


----------



## J.T. Chris (Jun 19, 2014)

_Plan Nine From Outer Space_ was truly awful, but it was Ed Wood. It's a cult classic for sure.


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

Serious Topic For Whoever Has Seen It

Citizen Kane?  

Best Movie Ever Filmed or The Worst Script Ever Written?

Rosebud? A Sled? Really?


----------



## J.T. Chris (Jun 19, 2014)

PiP said:


> No, I'm not jesting. I was stuck in the front row of the cinema and had to sit it out. It was a pretty pointless film of graphic violence.



War is hell.


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

_"It's not so much the script, but the technical achievements that Welles developed revolutionized filmmaking forever. "

_-J.T. Chris


_That's why I tried to word the question the way I did.  I took a film study class and had to do an essay on it.  The thing about the script is how he incorporated those ground-breaking techniques along with the plot-line and dialogue. But in all honesty, and maybe because I'm not a film expert, but I had rewind the tape just to really pick up on exactly what was happening.


_


----------



## FleshEater (Jun 19, 2014)

I'm glad Dale clarified that it was Legosi, not Chaney. (Stickler here...)

Plan 9 is terrible, but in such a charming way it's impossible not to love. No, seriously...I really do love that film. 

Really, really awful? Where do I begin? 

How about any Fast and Furious film? 

How about any film that either Duane The Rock Johnson (is that his name) or Vin Diesel star in?

On a more serious note, one of the worst I've ever seen has to be Woodchipper Massacre. That was terrible. Right up there with The Basement. 

Now, for some more terribly good fun, ya'll should watch Night Train to Terror. No, seriously, you should. How could you not after watching this?

[video=youtube_share;VUHsLZ5t5w8]http://youtu.be/VUHsLZ5t5w8[/video]

That's right. Everybody's got something to do. Everybody but you!


----------



## FleshEater (Jun 19, 2014)

PiP said:


> No, I'm not jesting. I was stuck in the front row of the cinema and had to sit it out. It was a pretty pointless film of graphic violence.



I have seen many films filled with pointless, graphic violence. Saving Private Ryan doesn't fit the bill. 

Though Saving Private Ryan is terribly difficult to watch, it shows the reality of war. Saying things like, "All gave some. Some gave all," seeing war monuments, and celebrating holidays in veterans' honor don't always carry the weight they should. Visually showing someone war, or Hell as J.T. said, shows the powerful reality behind the worthwhile honor. 

I can honestly say it's one of the saddest films I've ever seen. The ending sends goosebumps down my skin even thinking about it. Of course, that's probably why Tom Hanks received the Distinguished Public Service Award, the U.S. Navy's highest civilian honor for his role. 

You're allowed you're opinion, obviously. I just wanted to shed some light on the reasoning behind showing such violence in cinema. It's simply because the visuals create a more powerful response than hearing stories passed down by generations, or simply seeing a day on a calendar. 

Perhaps you should check out WWII in HD if you're interested in World War II, but can't stomach the more violent cinema commemorating it. However, if you have a weak stomach, I'd pass on Vietnam in HD. The scenes in that are only reserved for those willing to subject themselves to such visual atrocities.


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

FleshEater said:


> How about any film that either Duane The Rock Johnson (is that his name) or Vin Diesel star in?
> 
> !




You mean the ones where they both struggle through the rounds of their manhood. Like dressing up as the Tooth Fairy or ending up as the newest recruit in The Babysitters Club? Disguising themselves as being the non-type cast kinda guy.


----------



## FleshEater (Jun 19, 2014)

shedpog329 said:


> You mean the ones where they both struggle through the rounds of their manhood. Like dressing up as the Tooth Fairy or ending up as the newest recruit in The Babysitters Club? Disguising themselves as being the non-type cast kinda guy.



I mean any film where they're on the screen at all.


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

FleshEater said:


> I mean any film where they're on the screen at all.




haha ok


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Jun 19, 2014)

I still haven't been able to get the image of flamethrowers being used in Vietnam out of my head. Rough indeed. 

On a lighter note, the sex educational video at my school was truly awful. Lots of heavy breathing and close-ups of pulsating organs I'd never seen. I saw the _Evil Dead_ when I was three-years-old, but nothing prepared me for the Giger-esque nightmare of the images on that tape.


----------



## Greimour (Jun 19, 2014)

There is a few but, by far, there is one film I will never watch again. The film was so bad, after we watched it, we argued over who would get to smash the disk and burn the box. OMG it got me so mad I am getting physically angry just writing this.

I will never get the time back of my life that was wasted watching that film!!!

I waited, much as you are now, waiting... waiting... for that moment where it kicks in and something _HAPPENS_. But unlike this piece, that will eventually tell you the name of the film - in the film - _NOTHING _HAPPENS!

Seriously, who the hell wants to watch two people floating in water for what felt like two fricken hours?! (was only 80minutes or so)

'Based on a True Story' they said...

No it wasn't!!! It was based on a Camera they pulled out of a Sharks stomach, they don't know what the hell happened, it was all guess work based on some crappy photos that were only taken up until the point of them realizing they missed the boat back!
And that's if they missed the boat back! Maybe they left them there on purpose... for reasons unknown... maybe they were paid to leave them behind... 
IF that WAS the reason- the reason was better than the piece of crap film!!!

For those who don't know which film it is yet.

OPEN WATER.


Never Watch It!!!
~Be Warned, you will regret it. You will never get back that 80 minutes of your life. You will regret knowing what it means to literally waste time of your life. The knowledge is not worth the experience.
"I wasted two years of my life playing games." is not the same as "I watched Open Water." - the regret of Open Water is profoundly more apparent.

Don't do it, I can't warn you enough... save yourself. Believe in my words and don't be hoodwinked by evil people who will attempt to trick you into watching.

~ Final Statement.

At the age of sixteen, my brother was talking about films with 'friends' (They weren't friends, but they had to go to the same social events so they endeavored to get along.)

A former semi-pro boxer who taught a few of them boxing said: "Any of you seen Open Water? That is pretty good."

My brother calmly responds: "Everyone here knows I am not racist. I try to get along with most people and I try my best to respect my elders... but..."

Continues angrily: "If you EVER say that film is good again, I will PERSONALLY knock your over-sized [double racial comment] down and stamp all over you until I am satisfied. NEVER lie like that again. Don't even smile, you don't know how angry I am right now!"

^ That's a true story too, and it's better than Open Water!

~Signing out angrily~


Kev.


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

Scary Movie 2


----------



## J.T. Chris (Jun 19, 2014)

Oh yeah, Open Water was a terrible one.


----------



## Pidgeon84 (Jun 19, 2014)

I'm going to state the cliche here and say twilight. I'm sure I've seen much worse but nothing Is coming up.


----------



## Bishop (Jun 19, 2014)

Open Water was a really bad movie. And then they made a sequel! It was worse.

^
And THAT is basically Hollywood in a nutshell.


----------



## Folcro (Jun 19, 2014)

12 Angry Men

...1 Loose Killer


----------



## Greimour (Jun 19, 2014)

Folcro said:


> 12 Angry Men
> 
> ...1 Loose Killer



I don't remember which one, but one of the '12 Angry Men' makes was pretty good. Was a black and white version I remember that, but didn't they make it like 6 times? Either way, there was one adaptation of it I liked.

Also, the guy was actually innocent 


P.S. Glad you all agreed that Open Water was bad... didn't know there was a sequel, I now have knowledge I regret having. Knowing there is a sequel is already angering me.

There was another, someone in a grave/coffin, forget its name... that was bad too.

I think the writers tried to do something that would be rated as good as 'Phonebooth' which for the life of me I never saw as great but it never made my top 10 worst list. Now my top 8 worst list is all the same movie. Open Water is 1st, 2nd, 3rd... to 8th... of my top 10 worst films. So bad it made it into my top ten 8 times.


----------



## shedpog329 (Jun 19, 2014)

hate me all you want but I gotta throw Mallrats in there


----------



## Greimour (Jun 19, 2014)

shedpog329 said:


> hate me all you want but I gotta throw Mallrats in there



I like Jay and Silent Bob, but that film was corny as hell. I can't do corny... for that reason not sure why I like Jay and Silent Bob - probably Dogma... maybe Jay and Silent Bob (movie) or Jay and Silent Bob Strike back (or was it strike again?)

Either way, they are the only reason I liked MallRats, it was actually a crappy film though in truth.


----------



## FleshEater (Jun 19, 2014)

Greimour said:


> I don't remember which one, but one of the '12 Angry Men' makes was pretty good. Was a black and white version I remember that, but didn't they make it like 6 times? Either way, there was one adaptation of it I liked.
> 
> Also, the guy was actually innocent
> 
> ...



Are you thinking of Frank Darabont's Buried Alive?


----------



## FleshEater (Jun 19, 2014)

You guys want to see something really terrible? Watch Scarecrow. It's about a possessed scarecrow that knows Kung-Fu.


----------



## Paulbee (Jun 19, 2014)

Bela Lugosi? Damn, shows how bored I was though. Some kinda traumatic amnesia.


----------



## movieman (Jun 19, 2014)

FleshEater said:


> I have seen many films filled with pointless, graphic violence. Saving Private Ryan doesn't fit the bill.
> 
> Though Saving Private Ryan is terribly difficult to watch, it shows the reality of war. Saying things like, "All gave some. Some gave all," seeing war monuments, and celebrating holidays in veterans' honor don't always carry the weight they should. Visually showing someone war, or Hell as J.T. said, shows the powerful reality behind the worthwhile honor.



I'd have to totally disagree. SPR is a confused mess which doesn't know whether it's an anti-war movie or John Wayne propaganda. The best thing about it is that it gave us 'Band of Brothers'.

I'd have to vote for Twilight; I've seen some really, really bad indie movies, but they never had the budget or experience to be good. The Twilight movie I saw (no idea which one it was) was just plain horrible from beginning to end.


----------



## bazz cargo (Jun 19, 2014)

The Telephone starring Whoopie Goldberg.


----------



## shadowwalker (Jun 20, 2014)

Any movie shown on the SciFi channel.


----------



## Schrody (Jun 20, 2014)

Monkeybone. 

The Day the Earth Stopped, which is a knock off of The Day the Earth Stood Still. The most cheesiest film ever, it was like they were trying to be so bad. Just check its IMDb ratings.


----------



## Pandora (Jun 20, 2014)

[video=youtube_share;OOsd5d8IVoA]http://youtu.be/OOsd5d8IVoA[/video]
It was brutal, so much blood but Chris was in it so I stuck it out, now I want to do it again sometime. I usually like most movies I watch, the impressionable thing. Never much liked Sound of Music though :-$


----------



## Ariel (Jun 20, 2014)

Master of Disguise.  I hate that movie.  The humor was non-existent.  I saw it in theater because a friend of mine wanted to see it and so we went in one huge group and watched it.  There was another huge group there and we ended up trading insults about the movie through out it.  It was so bad that the usher came in and asked us if we wanted to leave because we were talking.  When he realized it was everyone in the theater he offered to just turn the lights on for us.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Jun 20, 2014)

Huh, I really liked _Seven Psychopaths_. Each to their own.

_Master of Disguise_ is pretty terrible. Even as a spy movie parody it fails on every level. I think I was ten when I watched it; I laughed at the 'turtle' bit, but that's it...


----------



## Bishop (Jun 20, 2014)

My favorite bit was when he did Quint from Jaws... and that was really the only bit I liked.


----------



## kilroy214 (Jun 20, 2014)

Kung Pow - Enter the Fist. The only time I demanded my money back from Blockbuster.


----------



## Dave Watson (Jun 20, 2014)

Remember watching a film with John Cusack and Morgan Freeman called The Contract a few years ago, and thought it was shockingly poor. I actually wondered why these two respected dudes would get involved with it. Must have been paid a boatload of cash, though by the production values, you wouldn't have thought so as it looked really amateurish.


----------



## dale (Jun 20, 2014)

Dave Watson said:


> Remember watching a film with John Cusack and Morgan Freeman called The Contract a few years ago, and thought it was shockingly poor. I actually wondered why these two respected dudes would get involved with it. Must have been paid a boatload of cash, though by the production values, you wouldn't have thought so as it looked really amateurish.



lol. "shockingly poor". i like that. especially in today's world where almost everything is "normally poor".


----------



## Ariel (Jun 20, 2014)

Paranormal Activity

I fell asleep in the first one and was bored by the fourth--the only two of the series I've watched.  They were silly, predictable, and not scary.


----------



## dale (Jun 20, 2014)

amsawtell said:


> Paranormal Activity
> 
> I fell asleep in the first one and was bored by the fourth--the only two of the series I've watched.  They were silly, predictable, and not scary.



i agree. they all pretty much bore you to death until the last 10 minutes. i could make better movies than those and i know nothing about making movies.


----------



## Ariel (Jun 20, 2014)

The "not scary" part is a big thing for me.  I have a really bad startle reflex.  My whole body jerks and, when I watch movies, I can usually tell when it will happen. 

Once, I was watching a scary movie with a few friends and I had the bowl of popcorn.  I heard the music queue up and I handed the popcorn to a friend and said, "hold this, I'm going to jump."

I think it's hereditary.  My mom threw a cup of ice over her shoulder in the theater while watching Jurassic Park 2.  She covered the guys behind her in ice and water.  They thought it was hilarious.

while we're at it: Jurrassic Park 3


----------



## Kevin (Jun 20, 2014)

> Bela Lugosi? Damn, shows how bored I was though. Some kinda traumatic amnesia.


 Ha! You gotta see Ed Wood. That scene where Bela  wrestles the squid... Martin Landau: "Trow me da fee-skee." Classic. The puddle was freezing so he wanted the booze to warm up. I remember the original as a kid. Yeah, it was bad.


----------



## T.S.Bowman (Jun 21, 2014)

FleshEater said:


> I mean any film where they're on the screen at all.



The Vin Diesel part of that I can understand.

But The Rock is actually a pretty good actor. He has done several roles that poke fun at his "tough guy" roles and done them well.

For me..Bringing Out The Dead (My girlfriend liked it...but she's a lot more artistic than I am)

and

The Gate - we found the dvd for a buck at a pawn shop. We had never heard of it but Johnny Depp was in it so we figured it might be ok. It wasn't.

Oh! I can't forget to add The Hand. An old, AWFUL horror movie.


----------



## Schrody (Jun 21, 2014)

You mean The Ninth Gate. I love that movie! :mrgreen:


----------



## dale (Jun 21, 2014)

Schrody said:


> You mean The Ninth Gate. I love that movie! :mrgreen:



i loved it all but the ending. i like pretty much all johnny depp movies except for the chocolate factory one. but the 9th gate? i hated how it ended. 
it was a good movie other than that.


----------



## Schrody (Jun 21, 2014)

Yeah, it was kinda "WTF just happened?", but the plot is intriguing, original.


----------



## Ariel (Jun 21, 2014)

Blades of Glory

Seriously?  This is funny?


----------

