# Zombie apocalypse - what weapon do you grab?



## Indigo (Sep 6, 2010)

It's the zombie apocalypse. Right here, right now. The living dead are on their way towards your home as we speak. Smart, vicious, blood-thirsty and hoping to tear your throat out and pass their infection on to you.

My question to you is this -

From where you're sitting right now, in your home or wherever, what weapon do you grab?

What's to hand and what would you do with it?


----------



## k3ng (Sep 6, 2010)




----------



## funnygirl (Sep 6, 2010)

I'm so dead, I just glanced across my kitchen table.
Melon Baller
Plastic Plate
Vase
Cookbooks
Coffee and Chocolate Biccys (ahem, not mine, I swear)
Geeze I mean I could take a few eyes out with the melon baller, delay my death for maybe a minute. Damn me for childproofing my house :\
Maybe I could start stashing shovels behind the curtains.


----------



## Ryan Worstell (Sep 6, 2010)

Thankfully, I am well-prepared for just such an event. 

Firstly, I'd grab my grandfather's Winchester over-under .12ga shotgun and the box of ammo I have for it. These are conveniently stashed in the bedroom.

Next, I'd go for my handaxe/multitool. Army issued. It's kept with the majority of my blades in this very office.

Chances of survival? Good, I'd say. Unless I ran into roaming hordes of rednecks hunting the undead for sport.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 6, 2010)

357. Magnum with an ice pick duct-taped to the grip. Watch out Zombie-Jade Goody!


----------



## caelum (Sep 6, 2010)

Here is my arsenal.  The cane is one of those sword canes.

View attachment 1175


----------



## copperflyingace (Sep 6, 2010)

Grab the coffee mug sitting next to me, and then run upstairs to where I keep the shotgun. After securing the shotgun, I would gear up in my combat fatigues and web gear, throw on the leather boots, gas mask, and strap my baseball bat to my back. When I know its safe, I would find my colt .45 1911 and strap that to my web gear. Then, I would throw the couch in front of the door, board up the windows, and make sure I have a clear exit to the roof. Then, I would wait it out a few days until the zombies have rigimortis, throw all of my pre-packed supplies in the back of my ford F-350 truck and make my way to the desert where I would find me a woman and begin work on re-populating the earth.


----------



## JosephB (Sep 6, 2010)

I'd just let my wife give them a good talking to.


----------



## Baron (Sep 6, 2010)

Release the bovine Antipodean to bore gore them.


----------



## Waste. (Sep 6, 2010)

If with my boyfriend I have a good chance of surviving as long as we have a random weapons box. 
We are epic at killing nazi zombies =]


----------



## Sam (Sep 6, 2010)

First weapon of choice: 






Backup:


----------



## lovetowrite (Sep 6, 2010)

A lighter and a can of hair spray.


----------



## Olly Buckle (Sep 6, 2010)

There is a grain of good in everyone, all one has to do is find it. Failing that eternal life as the undead does have its attractions.


----------



## Leyline (Sep 6, 2010)

We're hillbillies. The zombies know better. 

Or, see HERE.


----------



## lovetowrite (Sep 6, 2010)

LMAO!!


----------



## ppsage (Sep 6, 2010)

According to the Portland Mercury the key to Zombie killing (I actually thought they were already dead but reanimated, so perhaps they mean de-animating) is destroying the brains. So, well fortified with Tanqueray, lime and Maui Wowie, I would tune my laptop into WF and hold it up so they have to look at the screen. If it's winter, Wild Turkey, chai and Eugene Green. But still WF.


----------



## Brian Esser (Sep 6, 2010)

My 870 Express pump self defense shotgun. Should fit the bill nicely!


----------



## MJ Preston (Sep 6, 2010)

Generally I use table salt, a needle, some tooth floss, candles and a voodoo prayer.


----------



## Eluixa (Sep 6, 2010)

I'm not one for reading much about Zombies, but Leyline, if anyone can write something worth reading on the topic, you sure can! That was fabulous. 
As for weapons, I have a few knives but I'd not want to get that close. I think we'd try running. My boys just have bb guns, sadly, in this case and bows with very few arrows left [most are lost in the grass somewhere].


----------



## Kat (Sep 7, 2010)

Well hubbs has an SKS and hunting rifle in the bedroom. I don't know where the bullets are or how to load but at least there is a bayonet on the thing.


----------



## KangTheMad (Sep 7, 2010)

Sidearm: .357 Desert Eagle

Main Weapon: FN F2000

Snipe: Zastava Black Arrow

Last Resort: 30 lbs of plastic explosive


----------



## JosephB (Sep 7, 2010)

You keep those things handy, Kang? 

I suppose I'd grab the trusty fireplace poker. If time permitted, I'd fire up the chainsaw. It's not a very big one, but I imagine I could do some damage with it.


----------



## chimchimski (Sep 7, 2010)

hahaha...I am so infected, my choices are a sad-looking lamp, a small flower-pot ( I use as a pen holder), and a Ficus tree.  But perhaps I could be creative and drug them with the various prescriptions in my grandmother's cabinet.  Hey, do Zombies have working bowels...I could pour copious amounts of stool softeners and colon cleansers down their bloody throats.  Dudes...seriously, I can't stop laughing...not a good time for this. LOL!!!!!!


----------



## alanmt (Sep 7, 2010)

lol

my choices:

30/06 hunting rifle
243 varmint gun
hunting bow
spear
battle axe
2-headed flail
broadswords (there are two)
ninja du'blade
many daggers

Our townhouse is fairly indefensible, due to ground floor sliding glass doors and 3 windows, so I would load all the weapons in the hummer and head for the mountains.  I would exhaust my very limited supply of rifle ammo first and switch to a sword.  I presume my husband would want to use his battle axe.


----------



## KangTheMad (Sep 7, 2010)

JosephB said:


> You keep those things handy, Kang?
> 
> I suppose I'd grab the trusty fireplace poker. If time permitted, I'd fire up the chainsaw. It's not a very big one, but I imagine I could do some damage with it.



Nope, they are very good weapons though.

*laughs at all the morons using hand to hand weapons*


----------



## k3ng (Sep 7, 2010)

Why bother with the weapons?


----------



## Olly Buckle (Sep 7, 2010)

Find some Mormon missionaries to hide behind.


----------



## Mystery (Sep 7, 2010)

A crowbar and a semi automatic rifle.


----------



## caelum (Sep 8, 2010)

I run to the garage and grab my home made, hand held Large Hadron Collider.  Let's see the zombies handle protons fired at 99.99% the speed of light.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 8, 2010)

And my guitar! I'll soothe them into a dream-like state with the Comfortably Numb solo from my roof, and you guys can run for it. 

We'll all _clearly_ be safe and sound if there's a Zombie Apocalypse.


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 9, 2010)

A S.H.T.F. (shit hits the fan) thread, cool. I think a shotgun is a wise choice. Of course I’d grab mine, which is a Mossberg Persuader tactical shotgun and as many three inch magnum buckshot as I could get my hands on. Give my wife the “cowboy rifle” for backup. It’s a lever action 30-30 Winchester. Of course as soon as we have protection we need as much non-spoilable food as we can pack away. I have some MRE’s that’ll do. A small amount of water, hopefully we won’t be too far away from fresh water to drink. No need to pack away too much, it gets heavy to carry. We’re going to waste some zombie fools.

Other than guns, plenty ammo and food, I can’t think of much else needed on hand. 

Except maybe some toilet paper. :joker:


Not my pictures but guns like mine.


----------



## Amber Leaf (Sep 9, 2010)

I'd use my bedroom itself. I'm in the attic and there are stairs up to it. I would run up the stairs to my room, have the zombie follow me and then laugh as the zombie bangs it's head on the low ceiling. Zombies are not generally clever enough to spot the low ceiling. If this technique doesn't fully kill the zombie then I would finish it off by dropping a speaker on it's head.


----------



## Lamperoux (Sep 11, 2010)

you people are crazy. i'd grab my mother's makeup and make myself loook like a zombie. i'd have to become a cannibal though...maybe the gun isn't suh a bad idea.


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 11, 2010)

At least you get some fresh meat. In a world that’s coming to an end, a majority of people have become unwilling vegetarians.


----------



## KangTheMad (Sep 11, 2010)

I changed my mind. I want this.


----------



## SoNickSays... (Sep 12, 2010)

Who needs a weapon?






He will keep me safe. I hope. Last resort, I offer the zombies the chihuahua's brain. Do they respond to negotiation?


----------



## Mike (Sep 12, 2010)

I would say that I would grab the deadliest weapon in the house, my mind, but in all the rush and excitement, I would probably kill myself, or at least break my fingers. That wouldn't be good.


----------



## Ricky Jalapeno (Sep 12, 2010)

I say I'd grab the biggest knife in my kitchen....my baseball bat...and then just dip. I could probably make it to the mountains alive and unharmed.

This is the kinda situation that running six miles every day prepares you for hahaha:grin:


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 13, 2010)

Mike said:


> I would say that I would grab the deadliest weapon in the house, my mind, but in all the rush and excitement, I would probably kill myself, or at least break my fingers. That wouldn't be good.



I don’t understand the “break my fingers part”. Why kill yourself? We need every available body to help take the zombies out. You’re right about the mind being the most important weapon but it doesn’t hurt to find every available weapon that we can use for assistance. Zombies are stupid. Has anybody read World War Z? It’s an OK book about zombies.

Come on people, we need help or the zombies will take over.


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 13, 2010)

KangTheMad said:


> I changed my mind. I want this.



I think that’ll work just fine. It could take multiple zombies out at once.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 13, 2010)

Right, _now_ we're getting serious.


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 13, 2010)

I think the atom bomb will be great for large groups of them.

For more of a one on one, this is a Steyr 50 caliber sniper rifle, effective for over a mile. The zombie won’t know what happened except his friend’s head blows up.


----------



## Adjective Ocean (Sep 13, 2010)

Well......damn. I don't have any weapons, so I'd have to improvise. Hello shitty Ibanez starter guitar! Looks like you'll be getting some use after all. *Bashes zombie*


----------



## TheFuhrer02 (Sep 13, 2010)

Damn. The only thing within reach right now is a telephone, my computer, a calculator, a small plate and a fork.

On second thought... the fork might just work.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 13, 2010)

So you can ring the police, get eye strain, calculate the distance to the sun, throw your dinner in a zombie's face and then stab another one in the head. . .

You're _dead_ my friend haha.


----------



## TheFuhrer02 (Sep 14, 2010)

^ Haha. I'll take my chances then. But I probably won't throw out my dinner. It's too delicious to be wasted.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 14, 2010)

I guess you'll need the fork then haha! 

This is really bad. . .just eating lasagne in your room as the undead scratch away at the windows. At least watch some funny cats on YouTube before your demise


----------



## TheFuhrer02 (Sep 14, 2010)

^ The watching of funny cats sound really appealing. I'll try that. Hahahaha.


----------



## Leyline (Sep 16, 2010)

Eluixa said:


> I'm not one for reading much about Zombies, but Leyline, if anyone can write something worth reading on the topic, you sure can! That was fabulous.
> As for weapons, I have a few knives but I'd not want to get that close. I think we'd try running. My boys just have bb guns, sadly, in this case and bows with very few arrows left [most are lost in the grass somewhere].


 
Hey, if I were a zombie, no way on Earth I'd want to risk the determined glare and obviously focused _chi_ of the deceptively adorable babygirl in you av!:shock:


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 16, 2010)

Let’s all meet someplace well armed. What’s someplace that we can hold-up that’s centrally located in the US?


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 16, 2010)

RoundEye said:


> What's someplace that we can hold-up that’s centrally located in the US?



. . .here lol


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 16, 2010)

Where’s here?

It’s more West Coast thing but how about NORAD deep inside the Rocky Mountains? Let’s see somebody get in there that’s uninvited. Also it’s well stocked.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 16, 2010)

RoundEye said:


> Where's here?



Writing Forums. It was a joke. . .the only place we can _all_ go is here.

But now I get it, save all the Americans and leave the foreigners to get their brains sucked out of their noses. After all we've been through man. Whatever, have your nice little tunnel with all your M16's and flash grenades, I'll just sit on the floor crying and eating Pot Noodles.


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 16, 2010)

Bruno Spatola said:


> Writing Forums. It was a joke. . .the only place we can _all_ go is here.
> 
> But now I get it, save all the Americans and leave the foreigners to get their brains sucked out of their noses. After all we've been through man. Whatever, have your nice little tunnel with all your M16's and flash grenades, I'll just sit on the floor crying and eating Pot Noodles.



OK


----------



## PSFoster (Sep 17, 2010)

Well, sitting right here I would be a good target for them.  I have a computer, monitor, and printer - all pretty heavy stuff to try to throw. Especially since the cords keep getting tangled up.  If I have a minute's warning, I'm only a few steps from the gun and the baseball bat.  Or I could just read them some of my worst writing. That might make them run.


----------



## seigfried007 (Sep 18, 2010)

I have toenail clippers. Be afraid, mindless undead. Be very afraid.


----------



## TheFuhrer02 (Sep 19, 2010)

seigfried007 said:


> I have toenail clippers. Be afraid, mindless undead. Be very afraid.


 
:lol: Hahahaha! This one made my day!


----------



## SilverMoon (Sep 19, 2010)

I have a Foster Brother's hatchet just a few feet away from me. I have to take it out of bubble wrap now! I'm a Foster and the brothers are my great uncles. What runs in the family will run after the zombies.


----------



## Patrick (Sep 19, 2010)

Milla Jovovich... I keep one around somewhere...


----------



## KangTheMad (Sep 20, 2010)

Bruno - I'm sure the British government has something similar.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 20, 2010)

I don't think we're that cool Kang 

I remember on the history channel there was a huge underground bunker built in WW2, in Longbridge (may be wrong) with running water and the like. 

Maybe I'll knock on the Ministry of Defense's door, but there are no Pot Noodles there. . .I don't fancy popping to the shops during an undead apocalypse to be honest. I'll have to make do with real food


----------



## KangTheMad (Sep 20, 2010)

Add another use for Ramen Noodles.

Zombie Apocalypse Survival Food


----------



## RoundEye (Sep 20, 2010)

KangTheMad said:


> Add another use for Ramen Noodles.
> 
> Zombie Apocalypse Survival Food



True, if you’re in a place that you can’t start a fire, you could always eat them dry if you are hungry enough.


----------

