# 05-01-06 | Scores



## Hodge (May 24, 2006)

Okay, it's a little earlier than I said, but I live in Alaska and have a full time job, so if I were to post these up tomorrow it'd be the next day already for many of you. I'm sure no one will complain...

I'm very impressed by some of the entries, and unfortunately, two of them went over the word limit, and as such their scores have been reduced by a point. I did notice that the word limit tends to make people condense pieces more than they really should, so maybe I'll raise it next time.



Anyways, here are the scores:


Dephere: 15 | 15 | 18 | 16 = *16
*MisterSpider: 12 | 17 | 15 | 14 = *14.5*
high_flyer: 18 | 17 | 17 | 14 = *16.5*
Dresdor: 10 | 16 | 15 | 13 = *13.5*
voicesinmyhead: 14 | 17 | 20 | 10 = *15.25*
TheReMonstor: 15 | 17 | 16 | 16 = *16
*Crazy_dude6662: 7 | 16 | 14 | 9 = *11.5*
darthwader: 16 | 18 | 16 | 16 = *16.5*
Chris Miller: 19 | 20 | 18 | 19 = *19*
journyman161: 18 | 19 | 17 | 16 = *17.5*
Jade_Phoenix: 16 | 18 | 19 | 14 = *16.75*
Jiieden: 18 | 18 | 16 | 15 = *16.75*
mandax: 15 | 19 | 14 | 14 = *15.5*
AtlanteanTapir: 4 | 14 | 14 | 12 = *11*
eggo: 16 | 16 | 20 | 14 = *16.5*
WiCkEd: 13 | 16 | 16 | 12 = *14.25*
Blackhawk_t: 15 | 17 | 17 | 16 = *16.25*
Urric Arkardy: 9 | 15 | 16 | 15 = *13.75*

*Top Five*
1) Chris Miller (19)
2) journyman161 (17.5)
3) Jade_Phoenix/Jiieden (16.75)
4) high_flyer/darthwader/eggo (16.5)
5) Blackhawk_t (16.25)


Everyone did very well, and I must say this was an impressive turnout! If you didn't enter this time, think about entering next time—it's not only good for you, but everyone else gets to read your best effort as well.


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## Hodge (May 24, 2006)

*Hodge's Scores*


Note: these are pure, unadultered reactions to said pieces as I read them for the first time and through the subsequent re-reads. I am not afraid to use the full range of the twenty point system.

*The Virgin Volva*
by: Dephere

Lord, Dephere, Volva is awfully close to another word... There's a bit of repetition of words and phrases in here that's off-putting, and I could tell you had trouble keeping it under 500 words, but overall it's pretty good. You captured Loki's personality quite well—the eternal dickhead trickster who you can tell is going to end up turning evil.

15/20


*Nectar of the Gods*
by: MisterSpider

Oh my... A nasty little innuendo—what else can I say? Greek mythology is full of sex and perversion—Hera is Zeus' sister, after all! I like it, although I can't say it's particularly deep. It rests entirely on a sexual innuendo.

12/20

*Reality of Mythology*
by: high_flyer

Wow, I love this piece! Only one minor thing bugged me, and that was starting most of your paragraphs with "Onlu." Other than that, I thought it was great! 

18/20

*Creation Myth of Leordian*
by: Dresdor

The first paragraph was a bit confusing, and I'm sorry to say it didn't pick up a whole lot after it. This piece had a lot of telling but no real showing, and it reminded me of Genesis and some Native American myths (not that this is a bad thing) in addition to the Magic: The Gathering storyline. Some action and dialogue could turn this into a great creation story, but it didn't do it for me as it stands.

10/20

*The Gods*
by: voicesinmyhead

The beginning of this piece really put me off, but it got rolling and drew me in in the middle. I had images of Norse gods rolling dice and drinking mead—it's definitely a fun concept. 

14/20

*Mjollnir*
by: TheReMonstor

Straightforward piece, well written, and it uses one of my favorite words: Mjollnir. And not because of _Halo_ (it's because of _Marathon_). If anything, it's a bit _too_ straightforward, as there was no surprise at the end or any major tension throughout. 

15/20

*Bitter Release*
by: Crazy_dude6662

This was hard to read due to grammar and a couple spelling issues... The idea of combining satanism and Greek mythology is a cool one, but it wasn't played up enough. Only in the last paragraph is there anything Greek. I couldn't get into it because it was pretty confusing... Still, the idea is cool.

7/20 (points deducted for going over the word limit)

*MYTHNOLOGY*
by: darthwader

Funny piece! Very tongue in cheek. Although I do think the tone becomes too informal near the end.

16/20

*Dispelled*
by: Chris Miller

This is definitely one cool piece. My only complaint is that it's pretty disjointed (that, and I wad afraid if someone used Christianity as a mythology there'd be a flame war—thankfully not) until the last paragraph. Something tells me you wrote this specifically to appeal to me... But then again, I am god, after all.

19/20

*A New Life*
by: journyman161

You kept up the rhythm flawlessly until the very last line, but I forgive you. I can't help but think this is a jab at Scientology—but that last line tells me it isn't. Instead it reminds of this animé movie I watched years ago. Great poem!

18/20

*Three Roses ~ A Recreation Myth*
by: Jade_Phoenix

The first third of this didn't draw me in or really impress me... After that, it really picked up. Your creation myth is really cool and touching in its sweetness and tenderness. I love it.

16/20

*The Flight of the Padhishah*
by: Jiieden

This is a very unique piece... The style reminded me very much of Hussain Haddawy's translation of The 1001 Arabian Nights and it works very well. I really like this piece.

18/20

*A Lack of Love*
by: mandax

I love the premise of this story, but my problem is that you _tell_ us everything. Aphrodite is just "there" basically, as a sort of focal point. It'd be nice to hear the gods actually figuring out how Athena died (and oh isn't it fitting for this modern age that the goddess of wisdom is the first to go?). 

15/20

*The Greedy Demon*
by: AtlanteanTapir

I have to be honest: it felt like this story had been written by a little kid. I'm not sure what kind of accent the centaur's is supposed to sound like, and really, the story just didn't make any sense... Lots of grammatical mistakes as well.

4/20

*The Eye's Have It*
by: eggo

I looked forward to this one! Welsh myths are my favorite. I think you should have kept the unedited version. I didn't read it, but I can definitely tell this piece has a lot more to say, and it felt very rushed. I'd be interested to see you develop this piece into its full potential.

16/20

*Relic*
by: WiCkEd

I just might up the word limit for the next maneuver... This is another one of those pieces that didn't live up to its potential because of it. Your first part is great—it hooked me. But it falls flat in the second. It was too abrupt and too generic a "curse." 

13/20 (points deducted for going over the word limit)

*The God That Man Forgot...on purpose*
by: Blackhawk_t

This is a funny piece! I did have issue with it being an Egyptian tomb but having *Greek* mythologists decipher the hieroglyphs... 

15/20

*In The Beginning*
by: Urric Arkardy

I couldn't get into this one. You have an intriguing idea for a creation myth and subsequent mythological events, but I don't feel it's fleshed out enough, and it seems to veer into fantasy cliché territory later on...

9/20


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## Hodge (May 24, 2006)

*FollowingShadow's Scores*




*The Virgin Volva*
Author: Ink Slinger

As I was reading your piece, it struck me that it was very similar to mine. And likewise we have a similar problem: our pieces are overdescript. This piece depends too heavily on adjectives and adverbs to carry the description and overall it becomes just that, a description, and not a story. Subsequently the dialogue and plot development was rather non-sequitur and had little impact on me, hate to say it.
Score: 15/20

*Nectar of the Gods*
Author: MisterSpider

I skimmed this piece when it was first posted and missed out. I reread it a day or two later and I laughed hard. It’s playful with mythology and grammar as well, and offers an interesting take on the supposed vulgarity of semen. Question: did you write this after you got laid or summat? I’d like to know the inspiration—but then again, don’t worry about it. (BTW, I said my part about “yummy posts already” after I skimmed your piece; no pun intended.)
Score: 17/20

*Reality of Mythology*
Author: high_flyer

Mistimed descriptors hobbled this piece. A good narration considering the word limit, though. Maybe a bit choppy with the literal perspective (I was thrown slightly when he recoiled in terror and then tapped the wooden skull). This piece was on the right track, I’d say.
Score: 17/20

*Creation Myth of Leordian*
Author: Dresdor

One pitfall of writing under the topic of mythology is that cliche abounds. The concept of the eight planes is original, yes, but the driving concept of “there was nothing, and then...” was, IMO, really dead after The Simarillion (before, even, seeing as Tolkien didn’t even bother with it in LOTR). This piece is genre fantasy and so I couldn’t really read it as unique. My subjective opinion? Definitely, but genre fantasy is a flooded market nowadays, so I feel justified (doesn’t really help me feeling like such a dick, though).
Score: 16/20

*The Gods*
Author: voicesinmyhead

Interesting and original. I really liked the idea of Gods playing dice to pass the time. I think I understand your comment about it being ‘vaguely mythological’ because your tone kept shifting from omniscient to personal. I didn’t like very much the portrayal of gods as people (it’s just weird in my head, at least) but this is very much my opinion and I can’t justify docking any points for it. Sometimes your diction was redundant, as in ‘a mother in childbirth screams... to Sikma, goddess of childbirth’.
Score: 17/20

*Mjollnir*
Author: TheReMonstor

I liked the rising action, but then there wasn’t much catharsis because the conflict of obtaining Mjollnir was resolved so easily that it slipped out of view and then the focus was on the tribal war. I positive that if this were turned into a short story it would have more resolution in the end. The description wasn’t very vivid, though. I’m not saying to use more adjectives, but to coose and amplify the details that would really breathe life into the narration.
Score: 17/20

*Bitter Release*
Author: Crazy_dude6662

This piece was very average, IMO. A few grammar mistakes here and there, and normally I wouldn’t comment on this, but I feel there’s not much to say otherwise because your writing was technically solid. There’s not enough for the reader to take a personal interest in the world you’ve created and so the apocalypse occurs without much impact.
Score: 16/20 (-1 for excess words)

*Mythnology*
Author: darthwader

I liked the stream of consciousness and really identified with the personal history. The diction is flowery and impersonal at the same time and humorous at the juxtapositions. I think you used the semi-colon a little too liberally, and that’s just about it.
Score: 18/20

*Dispelled*
Author: ChrisMiller

Superb narrative. Your technique of emergence was new to me when you submitted this and it took me a few minutes to understand it, but the time was repaid double when I appreciated the whole picture. Excellent imagery and I like how it goes deep, but just so, and it leaves you with something to work with even if you don’t feel like exploring the complexities of religion and Amish doctrine and modern ‘mythology’ (astrophysics, good touch). This is an excellent and fulfilling piece and I feel wholly justified in giving you this score.
Score: 20/20

*A New Life*
Author: journyman161

A colorful tale which translated well into your vehicle of poetry. I critiqued other candidates on the lack of personal attachment from the reader to the wrtier’s creation, but here this wasn’t a problem. The mythology was sneaking up on me, I could tell, and then Adam and Eve popped into view. Good stuff. The only thing that irked me (and I didn’t deduct on its account) was the ‘I’m Adam, this is Eve!’ bit of optimism at the end. There’s a grim account of a battle and then I kind of felt like I was reading one of those little stickers people put on their bodies to introduce themselves without speaking. Probably a result of maintaining your meter; I would have understood if you said, “I’m Adam, with my Eve!” But anyways.
Score: 19/20

*Three Roses- a Recreation Myth*
Author: Jade Phoenix

A recreation myth, interesting. The story is very jaded and cynical until you characterize Seine and Ossian. The simplistic style very much suits the style of myth you’ve chosen. My only complaint was that Ossian’s creation of the earth was cheap; I would have liked to see a more vivid description of the creation of the earth from the red rose, and one more logical. That he simply changed the color of petals and placed them didn’t suffice. Otherwise, however, the piece is a very solid and original recreation myth.
Score: 18/20

*The Flight of the Padhishah*
Author: Jiieden

I could follow everything up until the last exchange between the
Padhishah and the Blinded Ones. I don’t know what her right as
Padhishah is, or what is required of the Blinded Ones, and I had
trouble understanding what her anima was. Her energy perhaps? Otherwise I enjoyed your histoire, and the conclusion as well.
Score: 18/20

*A Lack of Love*
Author: Mandax

For some reason this piece reminded me of Philip Pullman’s work. Maybe it the drifting discussion of higher existence, or the verging-on-gothic descriptions. But I liked this piece. It was somber and certain. It doesn’t mire itself in banal details or excess description. Technically solid and enjoyable to boot, and a scant six words under the limit. Sounds good to me.
Score: 19/20

*The Greedy Demon*
Author: AtlanteanTapir

Your first sentence bothered me because I really don’t know how I feel about a god owning an excessively expensive ‘complex’. Then there was the text break, which is inadvisable for such a short piece because with such small word space you need to savor what cohesiveness you can, and severing the first paragraph is a guaranteed path to the contrary. And then as I read on your story completely falls off and by the end I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Score: 14/20

*The Eye’s Have It*
Author: eggo

(Off-topic: good stuff with the peer edit. There’s just not enough of that stuff going around, IMO.)
I know it’s at least difficult to tell a tale in only so many words, but I have lots of little nitpicks with this. For instance, I’m not quite sure how its possible that the narrator could see the beautiful color of the old man’s eye if it was lost in a rheumy white paste, even if the eye were supernatural. Otherwise I liked this representation of the Welsh myth, though it was extremely hobbled by the amount of words allowed.
Score: 16/20

*Relic*
Author: WiCkEd

It’s a good story packed tight and I like how you told a good tale under the limit. Personally I would have made the buyer and shopkeeper anonymous to bring focus on the object and maintain word economy, and maybe described the actual object with very short and clear sentences. Likewise I would have done the action, which seemed rather stunted because of the specific details. As is, though, you have a neat story.
Score: 16/20 (points deducted for going over the word limit)

Title: The God that Man Forgot...on purpose[/b]
Author: Blackhawk_t
Your piece began with subtle humor (I still can’t figure out the pun of Mount Montes Haemus) and then resolved into a funny fart joke lined with apt style and diction. It was fine technically and it made its point clearly, even if it was a bit puerile.
Score: 17/20

*In the Beginning*
Author: Urric Arkardy

This was a bit shallow for my taste. It falls under genre fantasy, so I was looking for something to stike me as unique, but it never came. It reads like a list of facts that don’t describe much except the history of a fictional world. Would I be mistaken in thinking this was your outline for the world of your story The Bluefire?
Score: 15/20


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## Hodge (May 24, 2006)

*Aprilrain's Scores*




*The Virgin Volva*
Author: Dephere
Great description of facial expressions and unspoken feelings. Excellent characterization and realistic dialogue. Strong ending. The POV switches, but it seemed appropriate, and I didn’t mind it in this case. I wondered if a reader should have to click on a link to a reference to Volva in order for the story to be fully understood. Might you have been able to weave in a sentence or two to explain? Effective and provocative story, though.
Score: 18/20

*Nectar of the Gods*
Author: MisterSpider
There is a pronoun issue in the first two lines, but the rhyme and cadence is solid. It is hard to judge, since it is so short, but it certainly incorporates the theme.
Score: 15/20

*Reality of Mythology*
Author: high_flyer
Interesting take on the theme. Can easily be read as a commentary on modern day beliefs, as well, so I like the potential for multiple interpretations. Nice description, good word usage. Some grammar and verb tense problems. Strong ending and complete story.
Score: 17/20

*Creation of a Myth of Leordian*
Author: Dresdor
This seems like a prologue to a longer story. I don’t detect the building of a substantial plot in this limited space. The list of various Gods gets a little confusing, but I like the premise of dragons creating the world and the elements in it. Definite potential.
Score: 15/20

*The Gods*
Author: voicesinmyhead
I LOVE this. Funny without trying too hard to reach for the joke. Interesting perspective on the gods’ apathy and the futility of prayer. Then, to put the icing on the cake, you finish with a flourish and twist. Awesome. Just a couple of minor grammatical edits would make this a perfect piece.
Score: 20/20

*Mjollnir*
Author: THeReMonstor
Good interpretation of the theme, few errors, details and imagery are strong but maybe a bit heavy on detail and light on conflict, spark, etc. Could have used more tension and story development in the taking of the hammer, but your writing talent is evident in this short piece.
Score: 16/20

*Bitter Release*
Author: crazy_dude6662 (*over word count)
I like the combination of present day action relating to mythological beings. The sentence structure and sporadic punctuation was a problem for me, though. There was quite a bit of description given to the boy, only to have him die so quickly. With some editing of the beginning, you easily could have made the word count limit, saving yourself from penalty points.
Score: 14/20 (points deducted for going over the word limit)

*Mythnology*
Author: darthwader
Good commentary and reflection on the downside of progress. I liked the informal voice. The interpretation of the theme is sketchy but present. I enjoyed the story and the message behind it, but truthfully, this doesn’t seem representative of your usual caliber of work.
Score: 16/20

*Dispelled*
Author: ChrisMiller
Never a quick read of Chris Miller’s work, no sirree. I won’t pretend to find the significance of every sentence, but my impressions overall: what at first seemed like too-choppy sentences eventually meshed together in almost slide show-like images. The first paragraph of the young girl affected by parental and religious influences was the most interesting, and I liked the apple and fruit references, coinciding with Eve. Then you move from Eve to Pandora and with it, a more evolved and respected view of women’s power. Finally, the last paragraph in which this woman, always rebuked in her role as a female, has ALL the power. A piece that I admittedly didn’t care for at first stylistically became, upon reflection, one the stronger contenders.
Score: 18/20

*A New Life*
Author: journeyman161
Beautiful, lyrical language and superb rhythm and flow. I feel like I am missing some of the intended meaning because of my lack of specific mythological knowledge, though, but it didn’t stop me from enjoying a well-written poem that reflects obvious time and effort.
Score: 17/20

*Three Roses ~ A Recreation Myth*
Author: Jade Phoenix
Wow. How beautiful. Such a simplistic idea; I almost felt as though I was reading a classic fairy tale rather than a new piece. The few errors were not distracting; the writing was solid. What a sweet notion. This one will stick with me.
Score: 19/20

*The Flight of the Padhishah*
Author: Jiieden
Well, isn’t she just all that? J Authentic dialogue, nice phrasing. Unique approach to make your scene seem like an excerpt from an old writing. Although I think I would have enjoyed more substance, I understand that the word count limited that.
Score: 16/20

*A Lack of Love*
Author: mandax
Man with the power to both create and destroy gods. I like the concept of gods in this piece to be vulnerable and fearful--not the typical image. The beginning was amusing but seemed disconnected from the point of the story. The exact meaning of the final words are left up to interpretation, but I don’t mind that at all. The title carries some weight in the story’s message.
Score: 16/20

*The Greedy Demon*
Author: AtlanteanTapir
I was with you on the first and second part, but the story loses its edge and maturity of voice on the third. You move from story-telling to news reporting. I like the unique character (business agent of the gods--very amusing) and think you could later develop this idea more without the word count restriction.
Score: 14/20

*The eye’s have it*
Author: eggo
Great stuff, eggo. I love it. The description of the old man and his manner of speaking allow me to envision him perfectly. Flawless writing. Funny little twist at the end; very enjoyable overall. Thank Chris for saving you from penalty points, because I think you have a top 3 story here.
Score: 20/20

*Relic*
Author: WiCkEd
Ewwww! Definitely made me shudder, which I am sure was your intent. Reminded me of the opening scene of a horror movie to set the stage for the evil that is now unleashed by this statue. The opening line, with its different tense and POV, should be stricken. I saw a few errors, but nothing too glaring. Effective overall.
Score: 16/20 (points deducted for going over the word limit)

*The God that Man Forgot…on purpose*
Author: Blackhawk_T
Haha. Your tone is so factual and serious that I wasn’t fully expecting the parody ending. Very funny and Dave Barry-esque (if you don’t know who he is, I’ll send you a link to his syndicated columns.) You made me chuckle.
Score: 17/20


*In the Beginning*
Author: UrricArkady
The set-up here is compelling and makes for a good prologue to a longer work. There is so much information here, though, that the word count makes it feel piecemeal and like a text book entry rather than a descriptive and engaging story. If you choose to develop this further, focus, perhaps, on the exchange between Agmus and King Teryl. Why did the King go there? How did Agmus trick him? Now that would be a story I’d enjoy.
Score: 16/20


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## Hodge (May 24, 2006)

*Oasis Writer's Scores*




*The Virgin Volva*
Author: Dephere

Huh??? Who? To? The? What the? Huh? Okay! lol – Nah, pretty good, although, I saw a few too many mistakes from you, especially since I’ve seen your all your other works, which brings me to shake my head in disagreement Not a bad piece, little confusing, but not bad. I’ve got to say, I’m a little harsher on you and your grammar/spelling/blaw because I’m bias and comparing to your other works. Sorry.


Added – Okay, you’re very lucky, I went extremely hard on you and TheReMonstor. I’ve decided to up your score to a more approvable score, as if I went as hard on everyone as I did you two.

Score: 16/20

***

*Nectar of the Gods*
Author: MisterSpider

I got two ideas of this one: alcohol or some sexual innuendo. Either way, wasn’t bad, just confusing for me, especially if I was completely off.

Score: 14/20

***

*Reality of Mythology*
Author: high_flyer


Interesting read. Different for me, but not bad. I saw quiet a bit of grammar errors, but I’m a grammar nazi. But, the content was not bad, and interesting to read.

Score: 14/20

***

*Creation Myth of Leordian*
Author: Dresdor

Another interesting read. Something that got me, was that I think this piece, would have been so much more powerful if you knew those names of the God’s. Like Eris, the God of Chaos and Disorder. And so on. Otherwise, interesting aspect. Maybe I’m wrong on the naming thing, but…oh well. Nice piece, not too many things I found.

Score: 13/20

***

*The Gods*
Author: voicesinmyhead


Simpler read, which, for mythology, was a pull on my mind. I’m sorry, but this piece sort of lost my attention. Maybe I’m tired, but like, there were a lot of fragment sentences, which I think was just by how long you spent on this, editing, and also the fact that you said this was your first time writing something like this. Different for me, and I don’t like different Next time maybe, I apologize.

Score: 10/20

***

*Mjollnir*
Author: TheReMonstor

lol – So, you return *bwahahahhaha* Okay, I judged yours just like Dephere, because I’ve read your other works, and I expect top-notch bleep from you guys. I found a few grammar things, here and there, but no spelling. Content read was awesome, but it sounds familiar. So, that hurt your score a little, because it seemed like I had heard that story already. But, all-and-all, not bad. Buncha freakin’ 14’s here this time. I need to lighten up.


Added – Okay, you’re very lucky, I went extremely hard on you and Dephere. I’ve decided to up your score to a more approvable score, as if I went as hard on everyone as I did you two.

Score: 16/20

***

*Bitter Release*
Author: Crazy_dude6662

I liked the modern twist, or to what I got a lot. But grammar and the word count really smacked your score, since I’m “suppose” to punish for people that go over. The content was nice and easy, and read fine. Just quiet a bit of grammar, and I think spelling, but then again, you are in a different culture.

Score: 9/20 (points deducted for going over the word limit)

***

*MYTHNOLOGY*
Author: darthwader


One of the better ones I’ve read so far. Only a few grammar things I found, but the content was still awesome in my opinion. Very good and humorous. Good work. I’ll let you have higher than a 14

Score: 16/20

***

*Dispelled*
Author: Chris Miller

Wow. That’s all I got to say, you blew me away with this, and it was so simple, yet, complex. Great work. Only a few things I saw

Score: 19/20

***

*A New Life*
Author: journyman161

Stellar poem

Score: 16/20

***

*Three Roses*
Author: Jade Phoenix

Not bad at all dude, not bad at all. You’ll laugh, you had 501 words, title included. Lol – Sorry dude, I was going to dock half a point, because rules are rules, but half is hard to average greatly, so you’re stuck with a 14. But, don’t worry, a lot have gotten 14 from me. I’m a hardass

Score: 14/20

***

*The Flight of the Padhishah*
Author: Jiieden

Not bad at all. Keep up the great work. Not too much I found here. lol – I already figure, since I’m giving you a 15, that TheReMonstor and Dephere are going to slap me for going hard on them.

Score: 15/20

***

*A Lack of Love*
Author: mandax


Interesting perception on the matter. The “Virgin” really caught my eye, since I kill all them in the Coffee Shop lol – Not bad.

Score: 14/20

***

*The Greedy Demon*
Author: AtlanteanTapir

Umm….the moral was hard to find for me, because it felt rushed and awkward. Sorry dude, not your best.

Score: 12/20

***

*The Eye’s Have It*
Author: eggo

Just grammar things that caught me slowing down, but otherwise, a nice story. Lol – good thing you caught the word count, I’ve been a hardass on them who are over. Not bad, very interesting

Score: 14/20

***

*Relic*
Author: WiCkEd

Not bad. Found a few things and I guess the story just didn’t impact me. Sorry.

Score: 12/20 (points deducted for going over the word limit)

***

*The God That Man Forgot…on purpose*
Author: Blackhawk_t

lmao – very funny. But I like stupid humor…and now you made me feel bad for going extra hard on TheReMonstor and Dephere…FINE! I’ll go fix there scores

Score: 16/20

***

*In The Beginning*
Author: Urric Arkardy

Very nice. Short, sweet, and flowed nicely, and not too many mistakes I could find. Good work

Score: 15/20


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## Dephere (May 24, 2006)

Thank Hodge, so glad you posted early, puts me out of my misery! 

You guys are awesome for judging this and I just missed the top five....just!!! 

Dang, anyway...

Thanks again guys!

EDIT - Oh damn, didn't see all those slashes...I missed top five by a bit...oh well.


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## FollowingShadow (May 24, 2006)

That was fecking quick. It's only 30 minutes into Wednesday where I live. What time zone you usin' there, Hodge?

Edit: didn't read the disclaimer. Still interested in your time zone though.


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## Hodge (May 24, 2006)

Alaska time zone... You're four hours ahead of me.


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## FollowingShadow (May 24, 2006)

Ah.


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## darthwader (May 24, 2006)

I am very happy with my scores and feedback here, especially since I was sick as a dog, and had been so busy with work, that this was the only thing I had written for three weeks, and I wasn't too sure about it.

Thanks to all the judges for their time, and I look forward to the next LM.


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## WiCkEd (May 24, 2006)

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the feedback. I could of sworn I kept it under the limit but I must have lost count during the editing process. Nevertheless I'm happy with the scores I recieved and will definately work harder on the things pointed out to me.


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## Jiieden (May 24, 2006)

My best ratings yet!  Hooray!  Thanks to the wonnerful judges for their wonnerful feedback.  Another, another!


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## journyman161 (May 24, 2006)

Wow! Thank you judges. Nice subject & quality entries, and good comments.

2nd for a short poem... very chuffed *grins* And to think, when I'd read some of the other entries I regretted submitting a poem instead of prose.

(& Hodge, in a way it was having a shot at LRH's dream - smartarse... LOL)


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## Urric Arkardy (May 24, 2006)

Horraaay!  Last Place!  Lol!  J/K!

Technically, I wasn't even expecting to do good at all.  But thatnk you for your comments judges.


And Followingshadow, yes at first I intended to make this sort of a sort of "Bible" in The Bluefire world, but I'm probally gonna 86 that Idea.


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## Chris Miller (May 24, 2006)

Thanks judges, I wondered if this "emergent" technique would fly here.  I'm delighted it did.  Especially you aprilrain, your description of how it fell into place (from choppy incomprehensibility) and kind of emerged as a story is exactly how it's supposed to work.


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## mandax (May 24, 2006)

Thanks judges!  I really do love feedback, and I didn't do as bad as I thought I was going to do, heh!  I'm happy!  ^^  Thanks again.


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## voicesinmyhead (May 24, 2006)

Thanks for the feedback, judges. Much appreciated.


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## eggo (May 24, 2006)

Hey!

I just wanted to thank all of the judges. This is fun as hell to participate in.
My latest idea was a bit too big for the format, but having word limits and prompts is something every writer has to get used to.

Special thanks to Aprilrain, pity more judges didn't think like you, lol.



> I did notice that the word limit tends to make people condense pieces more than they really should, so maybe I'll raise it next time.


 

Just the reverse Hodge. Shorten it. This keeps it easy to write and judge, both of which are equally important.

I would cut it to 100 words and watch the results.

Some will be interesting, I'm sure. 

See ya'll the next one,

Pete


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## Oasis Writer (May 24, 2006)

100 words is actually really hard to write a story in and actually make it interesting...make it 150


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## FollowingShadow (May 24, 2006)

For some reason I get the impression that those 100-150 words would contain a large amount of abstract words in an attempt to convey much with very little.


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## journyman161 (May 24, 2006)

Oasis writer said:
			
		

> 100 words is actually really hard to write a story in and actually make it interesting...


 Weeeell... if you left out some actually's it may help reduce the number needed. :lol:

I think the length might depend on the topic. Some will lend themselves to short pithy stories and for some the shortness will just pith you off. :grin:


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## voicesinmyhead (May 24, 2006)

100 words would be awesome! Of course, I may be biased because I never managed to write anything longer than 1000 or something. I can't bear extraneous words...100 would be incredibly fun to try....

*goes off and starts thinking of a 100 word story...*


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## eggo (May 25, 2006)

> For some reason I get the impression that those 100-150 words would contain a large amount of abstract words in an attempt to convey much with very little.


 
It might, but flash is an art form unto itself. I have seen flash pieces that convey much more meaning than pieces 10 times that length.

Of course we would pith one against the other.

You started it journyman!


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## Oasis Writer (May 25, 2006)

:lol: Actually, I just like the word actually. Sort of funny actually, since it's such an easy word to use.


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## Savia (May 26, 2006)

My old school ran a 100-word short story competition and the standard of entry was generally very high.  I did alright at it and can say from experience that most of what you can do with the format involves either a) a shock revelation or b) an experimental way of writing- there's not much else the limited space will allow.  'They die' was a particularly frequent ending 

Anyhow, if it were to come up, I'd happily judge or enter or whatever, it is a style I really enjoy.


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## Pawn (May 26, 2006)

Just wanted to congratulate all participants on a great LM. It's great to see the forum flourish.


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## Hodge (May 26, 2006)

Next prompt: incorporate Pawn as the antagonist in a piece of prose.


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## Crazy_dude6662 (May 29, 2006)

thanks to all who judged lol, sorry its a bit late.

thanks!






hmmm i should buy a grammar book lol


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