# Insults!



## curtis (Feb 15, 2016)

If opposites attract, then I hope you meet someone who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 15, 2016)

I was told that dogs have brains of a three-year-old. 
You will definitely learn a lot from my puppy. 




"We will all laugh at gilded butterflies."


----------



## bdcharles (Feb 15, 2016)

Does natural selection worry you?


----------



## Greimour (Feb 15, 2016)

Heh:

Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't                hurt you," you should be invincible.


and:

Insulting you is like insulting a brick. Only the brick gets it.


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 15, 2016)

If you will die and vanish tomorrow, why not today? 






"We will all laugh at gilded butterflies."


----------



## Greimour (Feb 15, 2016)

Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be                yourself.


----------



## LeeC (Feb 15, 2016)

Beauty is only skin deep ;-)


----------



## Joe_Bassett (Feb 15, 2016)

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!


----------



## am_hammy (Feb 15, 2016)

I'm sorry, you want to share your opinion? Tell me something I actually want to hear.*



GuitarHiro97 said:


> Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!




HEY, nothing wrong with being a hamster =p


*​lame, but in fact, I would say this. The delivery is key.


----------



## Plasticweld (Feb 15, 2016)

I thought you said you could Write?


----------



## dale (Feb 15, 2016)

well don't worry. you're probably not as stupid as you look.


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 15, 2016)

Out of all those millions of sperm, you were the fastest? 




"We will all laugh at gilded butterflies."


----------



## Joe_Bassett (Feb 15, 2016)

Were you born an *ss or did your mother raise you to be one?


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 15, 2016)

I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.




"We will all laugh at gilded butterflies."


----------



## aj47 (Feb 15, 2016)

Are you always this rude or are these your company manners?


----------



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 15, 2016)

This is why donkeys don't go to college.


----------



## Greimour (Feb 15, 2016)

LeeC said:


> Beauty is only skin deep








 But ugly goes clean to the bone. 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	





~~~~~




Of course I will help you out! Which way did you come in?



~~~



When Descartes doubted his existence he said, "I think therefore I am," and confirmed his existence. How did you confirm yours?


----------



## BobtailCon (Feb 16, 2016)

My favorites are windowlicker, and milk-drinker.


----------



## Gofa (Feb 16, 2016)

You have the killer instincts of a vegetarian


----------



## Riis Marshall (Feb 16, 2016)

Hello Curtis

You must have fallen out of an uglytree and hit every branch on the way down.

Did your parents have any children?

All the best with your writing.

Warmest regards
Riis


----------



## UtopiasCult (Feb 16, 2016)

Pull your head out of your arse before you do more brain damage.


----------



## Mesafalcon (Feb 16, 2016)

Wow. Nice thread lol. I don't know many. Here's one from my novel.

"He's as dumb as a rock. Slighlty more intelligent than you."


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 16, 2016)

If I put your brain in a bird, it would fly backwards.


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 16, 2016)

I'm jealous of those people who don't know you.


----------



## DarkSunshine (Feb 16, 2016)

You're so annoying that I just want to tear your ears off and shove 'em up your @$$ so that you can hear me kick your @$$.
You are a pathetic scumbag. Your parents were scum and you're doing a most glorious job of following the tradition. 
You're a miserable failure. A waste of human flesh. Why don't you do the world a favor and blow your brains out.


----------



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 18, 2016)

All of the XXX files on your computer...

..are ANIMATED!

-DUN DUN DUUUUUUN-


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Feb 18, 2016)

Omfg, why are you still breathing?


----------



## LeeC (Feb 18, 2016)

RhythmOvPain said:


> Omfg, why are you still breathing?


and the comeback is "Seems there's a point in common we're pondering."


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Feb 18, 2016)

>>

I saw your mom earlier today. She was asleep on Rt. 12.

=x 

That one went over ERRBODDEH's head.


----------



## Rookish (Feb 18, 2016)

They would bring back hangings for the likes of you, they would!

You shame mangy street curs merely by being a mammal.

Well I never...a vegetable that vocalizes!


----------



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 18, 2016)

A bridge troll wouldn't even tap that.


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 18, 2016)

Stools think you stink.


----------



## lvcabbie (Feb 18, 2016)

I once told an arrogant jerk that he was the illegitimate male offspring of a female canine - and he had no idea what I was talking about


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Feb 18, 2016)

Put the bag back on your head or I'm turning the lights off.


----------



## curtis (Feb 20, 2016)

If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.


----------



## MzSnowleopard (Feb 20, 2016)

Shakspeare would call you a botcher's prentice


----------



## curtis (Feb 21, 2016)

I don't think your stupid. You just have bad luck when thinking.


----------



## Greimour (Feb 22, 2016)

The accidental insults:


1. You're a girl?! :disillusionment:!!!


2. Nice costume.


3. When's the baby due? 



~~~~

On another note, Sheldon Cooper is a hero:

*That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad*


----------



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 22, 2016)

You sound like someone who wears Burberry.


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Feb 22, 2016)




----------



## Greimour (Feb 22, 2016)

If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an MnM.


----------



## Sonata (Feb 22, 2016)

Has your hairdresser lost his/her spectacles?


----------



## lvcabbie (Feb 22, 2016)

I don't mean to insult your intelligence - but, as you don't have any, guess I can't anyhow.  :razz:


----------



## curtis (Feb 22, 2016)

If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.


----------



## Courtjester (Feb 23, 2016)

Yes, I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame.


----------



## Rookish (Feb 24, 2016)

On a linear scale of physical appearance, you are surpassed by crack addicts and clowns with Parkinson's.

My liege, we can not mint your face unto the coins! Why, there would be riots and mentally scarred children, there would!

Ah, I see you wield a stick of self-photography and a shirt of exalted brandliness worth more than a shack in a slum.
So...can you light a fire, navigate by the shiny pointy things up there or survive of your own bloody production for a month?


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Feb 24, 2016)

I've walked by dumpsters in Brooklyn that smelled more inviting than your living room. I mean seriously, are you descended from cockroaches, or do you just like them like that?

The fuck?


----------



## Greimour (Feb 24, 2016)

A face like that should get locked up for indecent exposure and assault on my eyes.


----------



## wainscottbl (Feb 24, 2016)

Tell me about your mother.....


----------



## Mesafalcon (Feb 24, 2016)

_You smell like a leper gnome._

(I wonder if anyone has heard that before. True nerds unite.


----------



## Ultraroel (Feb 25, 2016)

Mesafalcon said:


> _You smell like a leper gnome._
> 
> (I wonder if anyone has heard that before. True nerds unite.



Heartstone?


----------



## Reichelina (Feb 25, 2016)

I can't imagine how you can look in the mirror.


----------



## Reichelina (Mar 2, 2016)

*takes off glasses...

Wow, you still look ugly.


----------



## 20oz (Mar 2, 2016)

*Backs away slowly.*


----------



## Sleepwriter (Mar 2, 2016)

He's not smart enough to be that stupid.


----------



## Radrook (Mar 2, 2016)

So when are you scheduled for plastic surgery?


----------



## PrinzeCharming (Mar 3, 2016)

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.


----------



## LeeC (Mar 3, 2016)

When you were born the midwife spanked your mama.


----------



## Mesafalcon (Mar 3, 2016)

Ultraroel said:


> Heartstone?



You got it!


I'm addictied. Played MTG for years, so naturally, anytime my wife isn't nagging me and I am not at work (sometimes at work too), I am playing RenoLock and some kind of Cancerdin.


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Mar 3, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.



This isn't necessarily as funny as it is poignant.


----------



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Mar 3, 2016)

Chav.


----------



## Reichelina (Mar 14, 2016)

If you were food, I'd rather starve than eat you.


----------



## Olly Buckle (Mar 14, 2016)

Call yourself a writer, you must have had trouble filling in the log in details when you joined.


----------



## LeeC (Mar 16, 2016)

I'm sorry I called you an ass, I thought you knew.


----------



## Dave Watson (Mar 17, 2016)

Away and take yer face for a shite!


----------



## PrinzeCharming (Mar 17, 2016)

"OMG, I can't stand men!" 
"What happened?" 
"Steve asked if I wanted paper or plastic!" 
"Why? Were you shopping together?" 
"NO! We were going to_ sleep _together!"


----------



## wainscottbl (Mar 17, 2016)

Yo mama so fat that there isn't a metaphor for her. And she so dumb she don't know da difference between a simile and a metaphor.


----------



## PrinzeCharming (Mar 26, 2016)




----------



## PrinzeCharming (Apr 28, 2016)

_[Mature Language Warning]
_
Wow, I can't believe it has been almost a whole month! We're such a good community! 



Anyway, I wanted to bring this here. My friend of over ten years messaged me today about her ex verbally attacking her. At one point of the conversation, I cheered her up. 

I said, "_He needs to fuck a blender and drink his own smoothie_."


----------



## blipsycat1 (Apr 29, 2016)

Blipsycat1. Saying somebody is anything like me is the worst insult of all.


----------



## lvcabbie (May 3, 2016)

With many more @ https://www.buzzfeed.com/expresident/call-the-burn-unit


----------

