# The Essence of a Man



## Firemajic (Feb 22, 2015)

*When you touch me
leave bruises on my skin
please no gentle caresses
that remind me of him

Don't whisper beguiling words
that a woman loves to hear
I will not be charmed
I'll run away in fear

Don't look at me that way
I won't fall into your arms
when I see your intentions
I feel nothing but alarm

Kiss me as you lie to me
that's something I understand
I am better knowing
deceit is the heart of every man




*


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## Squalid Glass (Feb 22, 2015)

Such a tragic sentiment. Lovely last stanza, though.


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## TJ1985 (Feb 22, 2015)

Excellent piece, Julia. Lots of feeling, lots of emotion. 

For a nit, the last line of the third doesn't work the rhyme for me, but I don't have a clue how I'd adjust it. It's perfect, and I wouldn't risk messing it up for such a miniscule bump.  

Very nice work. 
TJ.


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## JustRob (Feb 22, 2015)

TJ1985 said:


> Excellent piece, Julia. Lots of feeling, lots of emotion.
> 
> For a nit, the last line of the third doesn't work the rhyme for me, but I don't have a clue how I'd adjust it. It's perfect, and I wouldn't risk messing it up for such a miniscule bump.
> 
> ...



I endorse those remarks but just in case suggest "I feel something which alarms" for that line to fix it. Also in the spirit of giving criticism where none is due I would suggest "deceit's" to replace "deceit is" in the last line, but that's just me.


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## Firemajic (Feb 22, 2015)

Squalid Glass, long time since I have heard from you, a pleasant surprise. Thank you for your comments and for reading my poem.   Peace always...Jul
TJ-- I think you are right there are a few hitches. Thank you for your comments.
JustRob..I like your suggestion...Thanks for reading and commenting.


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## rcallaci (Feb 22, 2015)

A nice piece of poetry... good flow good scheme. Loved the story-line- It's tragic really, where a women once abused can never trust again - her view of man is forever tainted of that  of the beast and it's the beast that she'll only now see in every mans soul. gripping....

my warmest
bob


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## Nellie (Feb 22, 2015)

Julia, this speaks volumes to me! A very well written, and tragic as other have said, poem about your troubled past. IMO, it is well done. I love this verse and the last line (experience speaks):
*
Kiss me as you lie to me
that's something I understand
I am better knowing
deceit is the heart of every man




*


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## Firemajic (Feb 23, 2015)

rcallaci...always a pleasure to read your comments. Thanks..
Nellie..fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice....well that would make ME a fool...lol.. Thanks for your comments my friend..Peace always...Jul


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## J.J. Maxx (Feb 23, 2015)

I think this piece really captures the broken woman, hurt so much and walled off from pain. Thank you!


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## Firemajic (Feb 23, 2015)

J.J.Max--Thanks for your comments, and thank you for reading my poem...Peace always...Julia


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## MillennialWriter (Feb 23, 2015)

'Deceit is the heart of every man'.  An exceptional and beautifully written poetry of a woman's painful (and traumatic?) past.  You write in such a way that there is no hope for the character of falling in love again.  And the last line was a very strong conclusion in itself.


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## Firemajic (Feb 24, 2015)

MillennialWriter -- Thanks for your comments...I guess you are right, the last line says it all...Thank you for reading my poem.   Peace always...Julia


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## Purpureus Draconia (Feb 24, 2015)

I'm not sure what to think about this one... Fluid, natural stanza, of course, but a subject that invokes somewhat deeper, if somewhat... Confusing circumstance. Well written, all in all.


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## Firemajic (Feb 24, 2015)

Purpureus Draconia said:


> I'm not sure what to think about this one... Fluid, natural stanza, of course, but a subject that invokes somewhat deeper, if somewhat... Confusing circumstance. Well written, all in all.



lol...confusing...Imagine how I feel..lol..Thanks for your comments and thanks for reading...Peace always...Julia


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## Docbad (Feb 24, 2015)

As others have said, it's a very sad poem, and naturally evokes some tragic emotions, but that just speaks to its power. Very beautifully written


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## Firemajic (Feb 24, 2015)

Docbad, thank you for your kind comments, they are appreciated. Welcome to WF, nice to meet you. Peace always...Julia


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## QDOS (Feb 24, 2015)

‘deceit is the heart of every man’ 
  Julia - this cuts me to the quick,. 
  Your poem like a beating stick,        
  What can I say to allay your fear, 
  In poetic verse to be quite clear,
  Why not all men are so insincere.

QDOS
*A very good piece of poetic licence! *


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## Firemajic (Feb 24, 2015)

QDOS...I like your poem better than mine! And...you made me smile...Thank you.. Peace always...Jul


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## Theglasshouse (Feb 25, 2015)

I finally came and decided I should read the poetry section since I wanted to read something of yours. It is poem written with heart, head, and wisdom.  It is a good piece on the human spirit betrayed and as is ironic. It reminds me of people wanting and searching for some good respite, and good heart, and clear and full of hoping and understanding for the best and placid times in life. Thanks for sharing your work.


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## JustRob (Feb 25, 2015)

QDOS said:


> ‘deceit is the heart of every man’
> Julia - this cuts me to the quick,.
> Your poem like a beating stick,
> What can I say to allay your fear,
> ...



You start a trend
which may not end,
Let's make it clear,
not insincere
but we're complete.
That's self-deceit.


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## Firemajic (Feb 25, 2015)

Theglasshouse--Thank you for your kind comments, I do appreciate the irony of seeking that which can only bring destruction..lol..Thank you for reading my poem...Peace always...Julia


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## mkpuppet (Feb 26, 2015)

I love emotional poetry like this. But, since I am a man, I could be lying :mrgreen: This verse does seem awkward to me, though:


> *Don't look at me that way
> I won't fall into your arms
> when I see your intentions
> I feel nothing but alarm*



Maybe ditch "I feel nothing but alarm" for "It just causes alarm" or similar.


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## erves (Feb 26, 2015)

The last stanza really does have impact! Although, I do agree with what others are saying in that a few parts come off stilted and lose their flow. A good poem, nonetheless!


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## Firemajic (Feb 26, 2015)

mkpuppet said:


> I love emotional poetry like this. But, since I am a man, I could be lying :mrgreen:
> 
> Maybe..lol..Thanks though.


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## Firemajic (Feb 26, 2015)

erves said:


> The last stanza really does have impact! Although, I do agree with what others are saying in that a few parts come off stilted and lose their flow. A good poem, nonetheless!



It may sound stilted...I felt stilted when I wrote it...lol..Anyway, Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem, I appreciate it. Peace always...Julia


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## Carousel (Feb 27, 2015)

I think the essence of the poem is how one affair/ relationship scars the mind. Never to have again the trust as you once did. You still play the game but know now the game has no rules.
I wrote a little verse on this some time ago.

_The game of love is a game for two_
_For only one to love is one too few._

A very thoughtful piece which I won’t enquire if it has a personal touch.


Regards Cari.


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