# Crocus Buds



## arkayye (Apr 2, 2011)

`




crocus buds burst forth
peep and poke through dunes of white
winter bows to spring

when the sun begins to shine again
vital truths on wood-lined paths arise  





`


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## Martin (Apr 4, 2011)

Two last lines would work as a brilliant micro poem, I think. The three first didn't do much for me, too cliche and really unnecessary...


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## arkayye (Apr 6, 2011)

Martin said:


> Two last lines would work as a brilliant micro poem, I think. The three first didn't do much for me, too cliche and really unnecessary...


 
That's the nature of the haiku and the tanka and senryu. They are describing or noun poems. The last two lines in this style is where it all comes together.


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## Trides (May 10, 2011)

I disagree with Martin. I think the first three lines are useful because they are more concrete and sort of serve as a foundation for the other two. Also... maybe it's just me, but I think "at road's end" doesn't fit in with the theme of spring and new life...


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## arkayye (May 16, 2011)

Trides said:


> I disagree with Martin. I think the first three lines are useful because they are more concrete and sort of serve as a foundation for the other two. Also... maybe it's just me, but I think "at road's end" doesn't fit in with the theme of spring and new life...


 
You are quite correct in both instances. I thank you for your astute observation. I shall strive to gain thematic cohesiveness with this poem. Thanks again.


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## Trides (May 18, 2011)

Ooooo. I noticed the edit. Quite nice. Now you have imagery in every line. And it makes me think of truths as a type of flower that grows out of wooden planks. :lol:


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## Firemajic (May 28, 2011)

Serenely Beautiful in it's simplicity . Winter bows to spring..I love this.  Less-really is more.Peace -Jul


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