# Requiem



## E. Zamora (Jul 22, 2014)

The call to prayer went out from the blind priest 
to his congregants, the faithful in the nearby villages 
and believers in the valley beyond.  

And yet, on the night of my dear sister’s death, 
these prayers fell from the heavens like volcanic debris, 
with a most hideous rattle 
on roofs of corrugated steel, upturned skiffs 
and the concrete statues of faceless saints.

My bride mouthed prayers and feigned sorrow 
on the rotting wicker throne of her indifference, 
unmoved by the incessant wails of black-clad crones 
and the righteously bereaved.

Oblivious to this portent of disaster, I remained faithful, 
until the night she spread her legs and let in the devil;
then a procession of his lesser demons. 

By the light of a billion stars, I slashed my way down 
the vine-choked hillside to the stagnant oxbow, 
and washed away the stench of their secretions. 

I saw my sister's ghost at the moment 
of my deliverance, laughing and dancing among 
the many soaring trunks of a giant banyan tree. 

“My brother, take comfort in your loss. 
We are not forsaken; you will not be damned.”

Then the magnificent tree, the last of its kind, 
held the moon aloft in her dying branches 
like an offering to the collapsing universe.


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## Pandora (Jul 23, 2014)

_Requiem_, an emotional read E, taking it personal to heart, to my own loss. The images, the sounds, my hidden message taken if not intended. Powerful with a medieval feel to a story. Your talent shines through, impressively strong. The closing stanza beautiful. Strange when my sister passed it made three and I never felt so connected to the universe, like a window opened. Thanks I enjoyed!


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## E. Zamora (Jul 23, 2014)

Thanks, Pandora. I was afraid this was going to sink off the page without comment. It had me worried that maybe it was too over the top. I'm really glad it worked for you and that you were able to find meaning in some the images, intended or otherwise. I appreciate the encouraging words too.

Cheers, 

Esteban.

P.S. I'm relatively new to this and struggling with like breaks, if anyone has any thoughts on that.


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## Greimour (Jul 23, 2014)

My lack of comment on this is due to my own limitations on poetry, not your poem itself. 
Just wanted to share that with you.

It read to me like a story and I like that aspect of it. You appear to have good descriptive abilities and a deep well to draw from. Beyond that, I am not knowledgeable enough in poetry to give much feedback on the piece. For that I apologize but I am glad I read it.

I tend to like 4 line stanza poems that rhyme. Thanks to astroannie I have a growing fondness for Senryu poetry, but really... I am a novice at poetry and I only dabble.

Regards,


~Kev.


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## E. Zamora (Jul 24, 2014)

Thanks, Greimour. I wrote it as a story, so I'm glad that aspect of it worked for you and that you liked the description. I haven't tried writing a poem that rhymes yet. Probably because I don't read many of them; although I'm certainly not averse to the idea.

Cheers,

Esteban


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## Pandora (Jul 24, 2014)

Esteban, beautiful name. I truly admire rhyme but mine falls short, most times feels wrong, forced. My sig is a most wonderful rhyming poem by the great Edna St. Vincent Millay. Being an untrained poet I love poems that come with heart, unstructured, pouring words and images to paper that the reader takes to their life experience. That bond is very special. Your poem worked like that for me, it is very special. Thanks again for sharing.


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## E. Zamora (Jul 24, 2014)

Pandora, I'll try my hand at rhyme at some point. Probably when I come across a subject that will be enhanced by it.

My mom is about the only one who calls me Esteban. I got the nickname Zemmy when I was little, that's what most people call me; that or just "Z." I've tried at various times like moving, changing schools etc. to make Esteban stick, but people just seem to like Zemmy, so I've mostly given up.  Thought I might as well go by Esteban here if I can't anywhere else.


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## Firemajic (Jul 25, 2014)

Such a wonderful story---this has it all! Dark drama, vivid imagery--and if I may say--
a strong under current of rage and pain...I could have read on and on...Well done! Peace...Jul


     Oh, your last 2 lines---stunning!  wonderful strong ending!


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## brendaaomine (Jul 25, 2014)

hey lovely piece, the story came out very clearly and the loss is felt by the reader. I love your short and precise structuring of the stanza the way you move away from the traditional sorrowful by adding dialogue to it. it would be great as a theme song if you could check out "my Eden" by Yisbel ..... CONCLUSION IT IS INSPIRING


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## Blade (Jul 25, 2014)

The last stanza is a stunningly strong ending. Good work.:sunny:


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## E. Zamora (Jul 26, 2014)

Firemajic: Thank you. I was going for resolve more than rage, but I can see it. Glad you liked that last bit. I've had that in my head for a while; just didn't know what to do with it. 

brendaaomine: Glad you enjoyed the story aspect of it. I'm not really seeing the connection to the song; but Yisabel is pretty easy on the eyes.  Thanks for reading.

Blade: Thank you for reading. Glad you liked the last stanza too.

Cheers, all.

Esteban


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## Gumby (Jul 26, 2014)

No nits, thoroughly enjoyed this one. There is a very organic quality to your work that I quite like.


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## E. Zamora (Jul 26, 2014)

Thank you, Gumby. 

Please know that I am open to any comment on anything that might give people the slightest pause to question what I've done; on matters of either form or content.

Cheers, 

Esteban


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