# The Worst Author you ever heard of! Tell us all!



## Shadeslayer

Personally, the worst author I think there is, is Piers Anthony. Very, very horrid author. I dislike his writing style, and his attempt at writing a new world of fantasy. Its boring, and he needs more *funnish* parts in it. Sometimes his stories even seem fake to me.

Though whatever,
What's your worst author in opinion?


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## D4rk_3|f

Brian Jaques does rock big time you are right!!!

Hmmmm...worst author...Stephen king...Stuffs around too much and takes too long to get into a story...Eg Cujo


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## Shadeslayer

I like Stephen King, but George RR Martin takes the cake big time!


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## D4rk_3|f

no way.Terry goodkind rocks man!!


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## Shadeslayer

Terry Goodkind is cool! I love his books!


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## Talia_Brie

Shadeslayer said:
			
		

> Terry Goodkind is cool! I love his books!



I think we've had that discussion elsewhere :lol: 

D4rk_3|f, I can'tbelieve you don't like Stephen King. He only wrote the scariest book of all time (The Shining), and the best fantasy series of all time (The Dark Tower). What more do you want???? :lol:


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## D4rk_3|f

havent read the dark tower. I wanted to but havent had a chance to get it. IT was good but I started to read Cujo the other day and after the first 3 chapters i out it away as there was nothing there


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## Shadeslayer

Stephen King's cool and everything, and I do like his books, though there all usually...err...a bit strange for my taste. I love dark and scary stories, things like Poe, though King is a bit over the top. However, he knows how to keep us an edge so he can scare us. Sadly though, his movies are badly made.


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## River1034

King rules, and why would you want to put down another author rather than talk about authors you really like and can improve from by reading? 
-River
(in a bad mood, sorry)


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## Shadeslayer

Its okay, River.

I'm not mad at all *secretly plans on bombing your home* 

*1, 2, 3, blash off!*

Just kidding! LoL!


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## River1034

lol shade, i'm better now, they just called, i got the job! yay! i'm gonna be a waiter yay!


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## Shadeslayer

A waiter?! Awesome! Congrats on getting the job! You must have worked hard for it.


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## River1034

^.^! thanks! 
-river


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## DL Ferguson

Piers Anthony's earlier books were excellent if you like straight up and down, no nonsense SF/Adventure.  Pick up the "Battlecircle" series or "The Incarnations Of Immortality" series.  That's when Anthony was at his best and rivaled Roger Zelazny for the imaginative scope and number of fascinating concepts/ideas he packed into every book.  Of course, later on he started thinking he was a standup comic and started cranking out those hideous "Xanth" books every other month and I stopped reading him.

I worship at the alter of Stephen King myself but even his die-hardiest fans admit he wrote some real clunkers.  "Insomnia" is probably his most aptly named book since it can readily induce that state and nobody jumps up to mention "Rose Madder" "Needful Things" or "Gerald's Game" when they're asked what their favorite King novel is.

I don't think there's any one writer you can point at and say is the worst but I can't get past page 50 of any Robert Jordan book I started and that guy who writes The Thomas Covenant series is also snooze inducing.


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## Talia_Brie

DL Ferguson said:
			
		

> I worship at the alter of Stephen King myself but even his die-hardiest fans admit he wrote some real clunkers.  "Insomnia" is probably his most aptly named book since it can readily induce that state and nobody jumps up to mention "Rose Madder" "Needful Things" or "Gerald's Game" when they're asked what their favorite King novel is.



Or the Tommyknockers, or Pet Semetary for that matter.

But, The Dead Zone, The Stand, Carrie, Salem's Lot, It, Misery, The Shining, Dreamcatcher, The Dark Tower books, Black House, The Talisman, Desperation, Bag of Bones, Hearts in Atlantis, Different Seasons, Christine, On Writing. . . That's a long list of brilliant books.


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## DL Ferguson

Talia_Brie said:
			
		

> DL Ferguson said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I worship at the alter of Stephen King myself but even his die-hardiest fans admit he wrote some real clunkers.  "Insomnia" is probably his most aptly named book since it can readily induce that state and nobody jumps up to mention "Rose Madder" "Needful Things" or "Gerald's Game" when they're asked what their favorite King novel is.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Or the Tommyknockers, or Pet Semetary for that matter.
> 
> But, The Dead Zone, The Stand, Carrie, Salem's Lot, It, Misery, The Shining, Dreamcatcher, The Dark Tower books, Black House, The Talisman, Desperation, Bag of Bones, Hearts in Atlantis, Different Seasons, Christine, On Writing. . . That's a long list of brilliant books.
Click to expand...



Oh, no doubt about it.  I know I would have given up my left leg gladly to have written THE STAND and most writers would have made a career out of THE SHINING or IT.  King's place in writing history is assured and not just in the horror/suspense genre.  I think he's comfortably proven he's transcended that genre and more than proven that he's a WRITER, period.
And a lot of times even his clunkers are still more readable than most of the other stuff being shoveled onto the bookshelves.

The only real problem I have with King that some of his books run on too damn long for no reason at all and once he climbed to the top of the pyramid, I suspect that he got his way and had his books published the way he wanted, full-length and un-cut which is not necessarily a good thing.  INSOMNIA could have been cut by half and GERALD'S GAME was really a novella on steroids.

Sure, sure, people scream and hollar that they want the books the way the writer intended for them to be presented and anything else is censorship but hey, there IS a reason for editors and overwritten books is one of them.  C'mon, all the King fans out there...how many times have you reread INSOMNIA or THE TOMMYKNOCKERS as opposed to how many times you've reread 'SALEM'S LOT or any one of the DARK TOWER books?


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## Shadeslayer

I'm sorry, but Piers Anthony isn't as good an author as he use to be. His last few books known as Xanth series were so bad, I couldn't stand  them. He made up these stupid creatures and everything in the series seemed so totally fake and badly made. I'll agree however, that when he first came into existence, his Battlecircle series were pretty good, but ever since he wrote the Xanth series, its just turned horrible! But, don't mind me. Heheh....


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## Talia_Brie

Shadeslayer said:
			
		

> I'm sorry, but Piers Anthony isn't as good an author as he use to be. His last few books known as Xanth series were so bad, I couldn't stand  them. He made up these stupid creatures and everything in the series seemed so totally fake and badly made. I'll agree however, that when he first came into existence, his Battlecircle series were pretty good, but ever since he wrote the Xanth series, its just turned horrible! But, don't mind me. Heheh....



I think that's exactly what Ferguson was saying. He started off well, but his latest books have been crap. I read one of the Incanations of Imortality books (the one about Death), and I thought it was an excellent idea that was done well. But I haven't read anythign else of his, so I can't make any further comment.


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## demonic_harmonic

*soapbox*


unless you have read all of kings stories, along with the dark tower series, and understand why his books are why they are...then just ... dont bother saying they are bad lol. its so amazing...when they just...go...like they do...


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## brockDXD

Ive read lots of King, and really enjoy reading them, but my question is this - i have never been too keen to read a Dark tower book, probably because it is a 'fantasy' and im not really into that. I was wondering if anybody else was skeptical, but then found the series good or great even? If this is the case i might hve to grab myself part one and start reading.


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## A_MacLaren

I may be scorned and derided, but I have never ever read a Stephen King book.
Or seen a movie based on one of them.


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## asdar

Stephen Kings movies are made poorly?

I want some of what you're smoking.

The Shining, Shawshank, Green Mile, Carrie, misery  and on and on. He's done some of the best movies of all time as viewed by critics and viewers alike.

He's had a couple that weren't awesome but c'mon. Most writers are very lucky to have one top book let alone one book made into a movie. 

Stephen Kings had over a dozen and most of those were box office successes and critically praised.


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## Talia_Brie

brockDXD said:
			
		

> Ive read lots of King, and really enjoy reading them, but my question is this - i have never been too keen to read a Dark tower book, probably because it is a 'fantasy' and im not really into that. I was wondering if anybody else was skeptical, but then found the series good or great even? If this is the case i might hve to grab myself part one and start reading.



I wasn't skeptical to read the first Dark Tower books because I've always been a big fan of Stephen King. But I can't recommend these books strongly enough. The series is finished now (and I know what's at the top of the Dark Tower, and I'm not telling Muuhahhahahha), so you should definitely think about picking it up.

King has recently released a revised edition of the first book, The Gunslinger. This book in it's original conception was a collection of short stories that loosely tracked the story, but he's made it into a real novel now, so look for a copy of the new version. You might get turned off otherwise, because the Gunslinger was very different, and first written a long time ago.


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## Ralizah

Tolkien is one of the worst authors I've ever encountered, in all honesty. 

 The only thing I can say for him is that the *The Lord of the Rings* series was a slight improvement over *The Hobbit,* if just for the fact that LOTR had an actual plot. However, I cannot stand either.

 They're both classics, but it's like I said: "Just because something is classic doesn't mean it is interesting."


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## A_MacLaren

> Tolkien is one of the worst authors I've ever encountered, in all honesty.


Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean...

I'm okay...


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## Creative_Insanity

Just because something's not interesting doesn't make it bad. That's simply personal taste. I'm not a huge Tolkien fan either, but I respect his work, and you can't ignore the huge influence it's had on fantasy that came after it. 

In any case, I find it hard to believe that you've never ran across an author worse than Tolkien. Sure, I think his work is extremely overrated. But that doesn't make it bad, it's actually quite decent - just not quite as great as everyone says it is.


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## brockDXD

thanks talia, i will give em a read. Are they in anyway linked to the talsiman and the blackhouse, i got the feeling they might be.


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## pharseer

The worst author I've ever come across was Pamela Dean.  She wrote this book about a bunch of kids trapped in a world that they had been imagining for the last several years.  It was really good and really interesting until the end, when they do what they think they have to do to get back, and it doesn't work.  And then it just ends with a "well, what do we do now?"  I mean, it just ENDED, like her publisher had told her she'd fulfilled her word quota and pencils down, class.  *rolls eyes*  It was such a disappointment I threw the book across the room.


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## Creative_Insanity

Are you sure there wasn't a sequel? That's so annoying when books do that ..


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## DL Ferguson

Ralizah said:
			
		

> Tolkien is one of the worst authors I've ever encountered, in all honesty.
> 
> The only thing I can say for him is that the *The Lord of the Rings* series was a slight improvement over *The Hobbit,* if just for the fact that LOTR had an actual plot. However, I cannot stand either.
> 
> They're both classics, but it's like I said: "Just because something is classic doesn't mean it is interesting."



I wouldn't say Tolkien is the worse but certainly he's not the most interesting writer I've run across.  I've owned a LOTR hardcover set for nearly 20 years now and have never gotten past page 50 of the first book.  I'm satisfied with the movies.


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## Talia_Brie

brockDXD said:
			
		

> thanks talia, i will give em a read. Are they in anyway linked to the talsiman and the blackhouse, i got the feeling they might be.



Retrospectively. Both the Talisman and Black House occur in the same world as the Dark Tower, or at least they can be read that way. It is also connected to Rose Madder, Salem's Lot, Desperation, Hearts in Atlantis, and some others that I can't think of just now. Insomnia(?), and others.


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## Talia_Brie

DL Ferguson said:
			
		

> I wouldn't say Tolkien is the worse but certainly he's not the most interesting writer I've run across.  I've owned a LOTR hardcover set for nearly 20 years now and have never gotten past page 50 of the first book.  I'm satisfied with the movies.



If you skip the first three chapters, you'll be able to finish it. I think most people would agree that the early part of the book is pretty boring, though it was written for a reason. It's meant to say a lot about the society, and also give the reader the motivation to save The Shire.

After those chapters, after the party, the book picks up and becomes more enjoyable. In my opinion it is poorly structured by today's standards, and probably needs to be edited down a little.

But for contribution to the genre, you can't go past it.


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## blademasterzzz

I think this is pointless. What one person thinks a writer is great, another person considers him horrible.


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## desired_destiny

My least favorite author is Diane Duane. I feel like I barely know the characters.


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## urbanophelia

The worst writing I've ever read came to me courtesy of a short story collection by Del James.  Read it yourself, you'll see what I mean. 

I didn't care about what happened to any of the characters, they were all so flat and one demensional. 

I read the first story, that's 10 minutes of my life I will never get back.


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## desired_destiny

I disliked The Hobbit despite my love for fantasy books.  It bored me.


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## Hybrid-88

Shadeslayer said:
			
		

> He made up these stupid creatures and everything in the series seemed so totally fake and badly made.


Excuse me, but didn't you say he was a fantasy writer? Fantasy writers have to make stuff up. It isn't supposed to seem real. It is FANTASY. Fantasy is a fictitious or imagined place or thing. If you say that his making creatures and such made you go away from his series, I would strongly suggest not reading fantasy. Some of the main points in fantasy are boring. You have to have some story-building. You can't just make action all of the time and expect people to buy it. 
I would have to say that my most loathed author of all-time would have to be Terry Goodkind, but if you don't want to talk about him, I will understand.


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## poison2themind

I AM THE BIGGEST FAN OF STEPHEN KING!!!! i have most of his books... 
and worst author..... umm.... anything they make us read in school...ex: nathanial hawthorne


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## River1034

i dont ever read sci-fi and other fantasy stuff, i'm all about suspense, horror, and genre's like that, i like to read things that are not beyond the realm of possibility.
But i did read the dark tower series and i really enjoyed them, it was just a big switch from what i am used to, but i liked them.
-River


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## LensmanZ313

L. Ron Hubbard. _Battlefield Earth_ is one of the worst things ever written--or filmed . . . .

I did like his _Final Blackout_ . . . . But everything else stinks.


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## kerpoe

King is not a good writer, he is a bloody lunatic. 

Amen

KERpoe


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## Deskbythewindow

John Knowles.

Did anybody else have to suffer through A Seperate Peace in high school?


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## LiberalDem

I hate Nora Roberts with the heat of a nova.  She sucks ass. uker:


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## Rajie

kerpoe said:
			
		

> King is not a good writer, he is a bloody lunatic.
> 
> KERpoe



Or does a copious amount of drugs...  

I have read a good bit of King's work like: The Shining, Cujo, Firestarter, and Christine, but Bag of Bones and a Buick from such and such (it's so bad IMO I can't even remember the title :/) weren't exactly the best.  Although I have to give the man kudos because most of what he does I like.

I happen to like Tolkien.  Granted, he does tend to take the looooong way around to get to even the most basic things.  I have to say almost (if not every thing) he writes in a story is important to later events (which is more than I could say for your average on-the-go bestsellers now-a-days).  I also liked the way he builds his "universe."  

I'm surprised no one has brought up Anne Rice (hugh)... Perhaps I'm not a real fan of hers b/c of... well I lost some love when she went on a review board and yelled at her FANS... as well as the long lecture she gives (at the expense of Lestat's character) on how her readers just didn't "get" one (or a few) of the book(s) in her Vampire Chronicles.

Anyone but me happen to think that Jane Austen's prose isn't the best?  I mean she obviously knew how to craft memorable characters,  but it's just slogging through some of her prose that hurts my eyes at times.

Then there's Dan Brown.   _This guy gives me hope... to win a Pulitzer..._

 John Grisham isn't one of favorites.  I liked The Firm  and that was about it.  His prose isn't the best but the plot (to at least the aforementioned novel) was good.

 Also, Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales is simply awful, IMO.  I know it's a "classic," but I couldn't get through but half of it before sticking it in my "read-in-case-of-severe-boredom" pile.  And, I _hate_ not being able to finish what I start.  Chaucer, Hemingway and Steinbeck are all "classic" writers that...  I. Cannot. Stand.


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## Nazareth

Shakespear- I mean My goodness- didn't the guy own a spell checker? All those 'Ye' 'Whilst' etc. - it's 'You' and 'Whistle' for crying out loud- other than that though, he was an ok writer


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## lisajane

Rajie said:
			
		

> I have read a good bit of King's work like: The Shining, Cujo, Firestarter, and Christine, but Bag of Bones and a Buick from such and such (it's so bad IMO I can't even remember the title :/) weren't exactly the best.  Although I have to give the man kudos because most of what he does I like.
> 
> Anyone but me happen to think that Jane Austen's prose isn't the best?  I mean she obviously knew how to craft memorable characters,  but it's just slogging through some of her prose that hurts my eyes at times.
> 
> John Grisham isn't one of favorites.  I liked The Firm  and that was about it.  His prose isn't the best but the plot (to at least the aforementioned novel) was good.



I recently read King's _Carrie_. I kind of liked it, but I got really bored with it after the questioning and answering parts...

I had to study Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_ in year 12 English Literature. While I really liked the plot and characters, it was just too difficult for me to read because it waffled on and on and on. I'd skip massive sections just to get to the damn point of each paragraph! Give me a movie version of it any day.

Grisham's _The Firm_ is still sitting on my bookshelf, unread (by me). I studied the film version in year 12 Religion. The book has to be better.



> Shakespear- I mean My goodness- didn't the guy own a spell checker? All those 'Ye' 'Whilst' etc. - it's 'You' and 'Whistle' for crying out loud- other than that though, he was an ok writer



English has changed a lot over time. I believe words such as 'ye' and 'whilst' came from the type of English language that was used at the time of Shakespere - either Shakesperean or Elizabethean, I forget if they were the same language or not. After performing both _Hamlet_ and _Antony and Cleoparta_, I don't find his works difficult to read at all. I think the old English gives his work a bit of flavour.


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## Cipher2

Terry Pratchet and JK Rowling do nothing for me.  In fact, I find their books ridiculous to the point of offence.


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## Pawn

Probably Robert Jordan.


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## Rajie

> I recently read King's _Carrie_. I kind of liked it, but I got really bored with it after the questioning and answering parts...
> 
> I had to study Austen's _Pride and Prejudice_ in year 12 English Literature. While I really liked the plot and characters, it was just too difficult for me to read because it waffled on and on and on. I'd skip massive sections just to get to the damn point of each paragraph! Give me a movie version of it any day.
> 
> Grisham's _The Firm_ is still sitting on my bookshelf, unread (by me). I studied the film version in year 12 Religion. The book has to be better.





I never cared much for Carrie,  to be honest.  Was this not his first book?  If so you can really tell.

Pride and Prejudice is one of my personal re-readable favorites.  The characters are lovely, but I concur her prose is "very unagreeable" (I ever see that phrase again I'll cry!).  I own the A&E movie version that has Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy;  it is probably one of the best adaptations of any book to screen (The Godfather being one as well).

The Firm is _much_ much better than that horrid movie.  Much!

I personally like Shakespeare,  but teachers sort of put his work into overkill.  I mean what really is the point of reading Romeo and Juliet in highschool when you've known how it ends since kindergarten? But, Shakespeare is in fact not done in "old English." (if it were then kids might have something to really complain about ^_~).


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## Talia_Brie

I believe Nazareth was being sarcastic.


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## lisajane

Sarcasm doesn't come out well over the internet. I happened to believe that Nazareth was serious.

I love J.K Rowling's work. Something to relax with and not pick out all the little mistakes of English and etc. Just a good story.


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## Shadeslayer

I like JK Rowlings too, but just for mere fun. I mean, she is not the greatest or the fabulous Author there is, and her writing doesn't reach all the way up to the highest category. Despiste that however, lets forget about her style and just enjoy the _way_ of the book. 

Harry Potter is fun and interesting when you don't criticise and compare her writing style to other Authors. Although she isn't amazing, she still still outsold many great Authors.


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## dancer4life

Danielle Steel, the Queen of poor sentence structure.  I have never seen an author start so many sentences with "And...."


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## Pawn

If you manage to dislike Chaucer then you are surely ignorant of the context of his work. Rather like judging the first ever violin concerto against modern standards. Its virtue is in existing at all.


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## Stacy

It's not ignorance; it's preference.  Liking Chaucer and appreciating Chaucer are two different things.


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## kerpoe

Stephen King...the man can't write...and simply that


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## kerpoe

Shakespeare's style is rife with an interesting flavour!


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## Talia_Brie

kerpoe said:
			
		

> Stephen King...the man can't write...and simply that



calm blue ocans. calm blue oceans. calm blue . . .


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## lisajane

Stacy said:
			
		

> It's not ignorance; it's preference.  Liking Chaucer and appreciating Chaucer are two different things.



I agree. If you dislike him then you're probably not ignorant, as you've been exposed to his work. You can appreciate someone and their work but you don't need to like them and it certaintly doesn't make you ignorant.


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## magikpumpkin

Somehow i never thought i'd get through Eng lit and say it but i actually like Chaucer and apprechiate his work, though i wouldn't choose to read it out of free will. It was something good to study for once. Worst author for me was of a book called "The Handmaid's Tale" by Maraget Atwood. (V.Ironic that chaucer should come up just before i mentioned that) Yes, the so-called brillaint highly acclaimed canadian feminist literary figure, who i'm sure i'll get a ton of agro from people for having a go at her, but she's good as a _poet_ and should've stuck to that!! Argg that book is only there to be _*aNaLYsEd*_, i hated it to the bitter end, it's not even a novel, it's a bit like chaucer in that respect in that it's more like a poem with emphasis on language, except it doesn't have an iambic pentameter rhythm and it definatly doesn't make you laugh!!! Horrible bad bad period of my life that was when i was analysing that. Got an A in my AS exam though...


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## Bhauger

Terry Goodkind takes the cake in this one.


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## Queasy Dillo

I dunno..._Handmaid's Tale_ was pretty bad...


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## johan pasqualli

> Chaucer, Hemingway and Steinbeck are all "classic" writers that...  I. Cannot. Stand.



Have you read East of Eden? That book has every theme imaginable in it.


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## Scratches

Judging by "Catcher in the Rye", I really can't see JD Salinger's appeal, but I'd have to look into his other books. Still, I couldn't read beyond about 10 pages of "Catcher". It was getting too exasperating. I suppose it was ladmired for its fresh style of writing back in its day, but for me, seeing the word "goddamn" that much on a page stings my eyes after a while.


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## blackswan

Terry Goodkind, V.C. Andrews, many, many shitty romance novels that are just copying each other. I'm not a big fan of Tolkien and Jordon and all that "epic" fantasy either, although none of them are as bad as Goodkind. 

Stephen King, is of course an amazing writer and one that I love. I'm read almost everything by him, including the DT, short stories collections, Danse Macabre and On Writing, ect (and many of his short stories are among my favorites...). Yes, books like From A Buick 8 are horrible waste of talent, time and cash, but his other books make up for it...

I was so skeptical about DT at first, because it was King but fantasy, with Gunslingers, and that sounded odd, but then I read a story with Roland in it and I began to get interested. Now I've read them all (except for the Gunslinger) and I'm very happy that I did. Although. The ending. Cough. No spoliers now..


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## Talia_Brie

blackswan said:
			
		

> I was so skeptical about DT at first, because it was King but fantasy, with Gunslingers, and that sounded odd, but then I read a story with Roland in it and I began to get interested. Now I've read them all (except for the Gunslinger) and I'm very happy that I did. Although. The ending. Cough. No spoliers now..



Come on. I loved the ending, the very ending. I can't think of any way he could have made that better. It was always going to be unsatisfying, and that's why he asked you not to read on.


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## Barr

Whoever wrote "Clan Of The Cave Bear" ..and damn you school system for making me read it....


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## Barr

Ok, maybe not READ it...but glance through it and rent the movie... :wink:


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## Cipher2

Me.  Or Hemmingway- I can't understand him.  Although, with any classic writer, making a statement like this is only read as 'I am not intelligent enough to understand this'.  Like school kids saying Shakespear is rubbish.

Scratches,

When I read Catcher, it quickly became one of my favourite books but since I have started to question it, and the rest of the first person Catcher in the Rye style social criticism through realism in literature.  Though if you can put up with the language there are some great moments.  It's Caulfields ignorance that leads him into these situations.


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## Rajie

Pawn said:
			
		

> If you manage to dislike Chaucer then you are surely ignorant of the context of his work. Rather like judging the first ever violin concerto against modern standards. Its virtue is in existing at all.



Hardly.  I came to read Chaucer because _I_ wanted to, not because I was assigned him. I just was not fond of what I read.


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## Saffron

> Whoever wrote "Clan Of The Cave Bear" ...and damn you school system for making me read it...



That would be *Jean M. Auel* - surely the worst writer I have ever come across. Her main character, Ayla, has no flaws. She also writes horrible sex scenes.  :shock: 

*Robert Jordan* - I loved his first four books, but after that everything spiralled downhill...

*Terry Brooks* - It's like he typed out Lord of the Rings and made a few minor changes.


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## TrustMe

I didn't like that book 'Eragon'... so whoever wrote that sucks.


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## []V[]ACE

Saffron said:
			
		

> *Terry Brooks* - It's like he typed out Lord of the Rings and made a few minor changes.



I was going to say his name but you beat me to it. I hate his books. He couldn't write his way out of a paper bag... I do however love the sheer brilliance and geniousity of Tolkien.


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## Creative_Insanity

Okay, so he isn't the WORST author of them all I'm sure, but he sure makes me mad because of his popularity:

Raymond E. Feist.

So maybe I'm not his best judge because I've only read Talon of the Silver hawk, but damn, that book was pretty awful.


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## bobothegoat

> Raymond E. Feist.
> 
> So maybe I'm not his best judge because I've only read Talon of the Silver hawk, but damn, that book was pretty awful.



I like Raymond E. Feist's work, at least for the most part, but I must agree with you on Talon of the Silver hawk.  It was terrible.


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## []V[]ACE

bobothegoat said:
			
		

> Raymond E. Feist.
> 
> So maybe I'm not his best judge because I've only read Talon of the Silver hawk, but damn, that book was pretty awful.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I like Raymond E. Feist's work, at least for the most part, but I must agree with you on Talon of the Silver hawk.  It was terrible.
Click to expand...


I'm not really sure I've read his works. So there's nothing I could say about him.


----------



## Creative_Insanity

Well, I won't say anything about his other work, but Talon of the Silver Hawk was just awful. Maybe I'm making too big a deal of it, but the praise that book received was flabbergasting..


----------



## Talia_Brie

Creative_Insanity said:
			
		

> Well, I won't say anything about his other work, but Talon of the Silver Hawk was just awful. Maybe I'm making too big a deal of it, but the praise that book received was flabbergasting..



No, you're dead right.

His best books were the Empire series, which he co wrote with Janny Wurts. At the time I thought they were good because of him, but I think I was wrong.

And Talon was terrible, but not his worst. That was the next one, King of Foxes. Exile Return, which is the 3rd of that series, is the only Feist book I haven't read.

I've been turned away.


----------



## Ham

[ said:
			
		

> V[]ACE]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bobothegoat said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Raymond E. Feist.
> 
> So maybe I'm not his best judge because I've only read Talon of the Silver hawk, but damn, that book was pretty awful.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I like Raymond E. Feist's work, at least for the most part, but I must agree with you on Talon of the Silver hawk.  It was terrible.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I'm not really sure I've read his works. So there's nothing I could say about him.
Click to expand...


Feist is a guy I always group together with David Eddings as authors who are really good for young-but-mature readers looking for an intro to "adult" fantasy lit.  Neither of these guys is a master of plot, or characterisation.  Neither is doing anything especially literary.  But both move stories along in a kind of fun way, with adult themes and love and sex and death and politics and such.

God help you if you read either The Belgariad or The Riftwar Saga after your 16th birthday.  But both are good for what they are -- tolerable, lightweight fantasy fluff that entertains without challenging.  Great juvenile escapism.


----------



## Mazzie

Disgrace by J.M Coetzee is one of the most boring books I've ever read.


----------



## S.Thomas

i dont suggest that any of you read goosebumps it's a horrible book the whole series do you agree with me?


----------



## Bhauger

Not really, it's intended for children.


----------



## Creative_Insanity

Ham said:
			
		

> [ said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> V[]ACE]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> bobothegoat said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Raymond E. Feist.
> 
> So maybe I'm not his best judge because I've only read Talon of the Silver hawk, but damn, that book was pretty awful.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I like Raymond E. Feist's work, at least for the most part, but I must agree with you on Talon of the Silver hawk.  It was terrible.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> I'm not really sure I've read his works. So there's nothing I could say about him.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Feist is a guy I always group together with David Eddings as authors who are really good for young-but-mature readers looking for an intro to "adult" fantasy lit.  Neither of these guys is a master of plot, or characterisation.  Neither is doing anything especially literary.  But both move stories along in a kind of fun way, with adult themes and love and sex and death and politics and such.
> 
> God help you if you read either The Belgariad or The Riftwar Saga after your 16th birthday.  But both are good for what they are -- tolerable, lightweight fantasy fluff that entertains without challenging.  Great juvenile escapism.
Click to expand...


I disagree. I've read plenty of fluff that was fast, fun, and engaging - little depth, but still very enjoyable. This does NOT fall under that category. Talon of the Silver Hawk was a maddening book. I kept wanting to rewrite each sentence. It was very distracting from the reading. The good kind of fluff is well written, with interesting descriptions and action. Talon of the Silver Hawk didn't have that. The writing was very bland.

And I'm 14. So no, this book is not necessarily good as juvenile escapism. And adult themes ("love and sex and death and politics and such")? I didn't consider the way this book treated them as very adult. For example, sex. The sex in Talon of the Silver Hawk was awful. It made me mad. It was just there for the sake of having it.


----------



## S.Thomas

i know thats entended for children but even children think it's bad i go to the library and i see no children looking at the goosebumps book the on's from 96-2002 are brand new.


----------



## Kajarow

I love the Goosebump books. Iv read them all.


----------



## C.J.Wallace

"kajarow" goosebumps are for children and even children hate them, go eat your "Trix" cerial.


----------



## Aevin

Well, I wholly disagree with the statement that the Goosebumps books are terrible--have you any idea how many of those things sold?  RL Stine was, at one point, the best-selling author in America, topping even popular novelists such as Stephen King.  He must have been doing something right.  Personally, I love those books and still read them occasionally, though they are intended primarily for children.

For more on the topic, visit this thread.


----------



## Kajarow

I read them in Gr.4-6, when I was in the age that it was meant for.

And they were good for some light reading, even though they were never scary which was kinda the point of the book.


----------



## Yamato145

yeah ... Glenn (brokenwingz on here) is the worst author of all time!!!


----------



## C.J.Wallace

IN AMERICA..........I also hate stephen king


----------



## Akumu

Terry Brooks

I couldn't believe the plagiarism... Well, maybe I should read some of the other books to make an objective judgement, but the first one just kind of killed me and I have no interest in going on with book 2...


----------



## Thekherham

I like Stephen King, and Robert Ludlum, and Robert Silverberg, and Anne McCaffrey and a lot of other... authors... 

Oh, worst author?  
L. Ron Hubbard.  Battlefield Earth, and that 10 volume Mission Earth series.  That guy doesn't know when to stop.

And Frank Herbert.  Especially Dune.  

Why do they make movies out of these crappy books.

I'm sure there are others, but those are the ones that come to mind right now.


----------



## The Thing

The worst writer EVER is Guy N. Smith. Never heard of him? He did such classics as: 

Night of the Crabs

Killer Crabs

The Origin of the Crabs

Crabs on the Rampage

Crabs Moon

Maybe they didn't work for me because I was thinking of killer STDs and itchy pubes. I suppose if you like cheesy B-movies this might be your thing... but these books don't have the cheesy special effects to go with it.


----------



## Bhauger

Thekherham said:
			
		

> And Frank Herbert.  Especially Dune.
> 
> Why do they make movies out of these crappy books.



...What? Care to explain?


----------



## Yamato145

I like goosebumps ... i used to read them constantly


----------



## Kane

demonic_harmonic said:
			
		

> *soapbox*
> 
> 
> unless you have read all of kings stories, along with the dark tower series, and understand why his books are why they are...then just ... dont bother saying they are bad lol. its so amazing...when they just...go...like they do...



I haven't read all of King's stories, but I've certainly read enough to give my opinion on them.  The Eyes of the Dragon was the first King book I read, loved it.  Next came the Gunslinger and Drawing of the Three.  I've read many of them over the years and couldn't even list off how many.  King prattles on far to often.  He writes a lot of crap that really doesn't need to be in a story for the story to work and this annoys me.  He has a tendency sometimes to write in slang(or worse, made up slang) in his narraration which also annoys me.  The last book I read from King was Wolves of the Calla.  Quite often, as I read through the book, I felt dissapointed in his writing.  As a teenager he was my favorite author, but after reading work by Robert E. Howard, Brian Lumley, H.P. Lovecraft, George R. R. Martin, David Drake and others I find King to be very boring.  

Don't get me wrong, King has his moments of brilliance. But I don't have time to read 500 pages of story that could be told in 100.  Detail is great, but I think he goes overboard.


----------



## Hodge

Edith Wharton. _Age of Innocence_ is the worst book I have ever read. Uneccessarily wordy, very drab in plot (ooh! Rich people who might *gasp* not talk to each other!), and really only showing what is wrong with American culture at that time. Which could have been done in 20 pages.


----------



## Oracle

> know thats entended for children but even children think it's bad i go to the library and i see no children looking at the goosebumps book the on's from 96-2002 are brand new.



well, perhaps that's because they've all bought the goosebumps books and don't need to take them out at the library... that, or you're just showing up on the wrong days. Goosebumps sold extremely well. They were all pretty simplistic, I'll admit, but they are children's stories. When I was a child, I loved them.


----------



## blademasterzzz

Willaim Nicholson and his "Wind Singer" trilogy. 

While the first book was alright, save his annoying tendancy to use made-up swear words and names like "mumbo", the next book had chunks in it where I felt like smashing it against the wall.

Sometimes, something interesting would happen, only to be grounded by another "soap-opera" twist.

God. Couldn't even read the third one.


----------



## starseed

The Thing said:


> The worst writer EVER is Guy N. Smith. Never heard of him? He did such classics as:
> 
> Night of the Crabs
> 
> Killer Crabs
> 
> The Origin of the Crabs
> 
> Crabs on the Rampage
> 
> Crabs Moon
> 
> Maybe they didn't work for me because I was thinking of killer STDs and itchy pubes. I suppose if you like cheesy B-movies this might be your thing... but these books don't have the cheesy special effects to go with it.




Crabs Moon! Oh wow. That's awesome. There really needs to be a made for scifi movie.


----------



## papertears

[Triggers: suicide, attempted OD, self-unrjury/cutting, extremelely low self esteem, suicidal fanticiation, abuse, rape, neglect...]


Not the worst, but a bad one:  Jay Asher--Thirteen Reasons Why    Its a YA book about the impact of a female classmate's suicide on 13 people through her tapes of why she felt the need to end her life.   I suppose it got published because people are into reading that stuff if it isn't real in their life?

I volunteered to read it for my local public library to see if it was going to be something that would upset our totally conservative town's parents if they caught their kids reading it.  I've dealt with depression and suicide before and thought it was a quite contrived.  Also, why would anyone want to read it.  It was torture from cover to cover.  *shrug*.  The Librarian decided to make the final call, which was fine with me--I didn't want the free book.  No idea if its on the shelf.  

If the author of this book is a member here,  I apologize for my comments, but not for my true feelings.  I don't believe in censorsorship however, there is an age limit for some topics. 

It was a trigger for me and I had to use my best plan of action to keep from falling of the wagon as they say.

~p t


----------



## Raging_Hopeful

> calm blue ocans. calm blue oceans. calm blue . . .


LOL, I almost peed myself!

The worst writers I think I've ever read are the authors of the Left Behind series. Although I hate Christian propoganda, I was genuinely excited at the idea of someone tackling "the rapture" since I could imagine it going in so many interesting ways. 

Yeah.

I hate God, I hate myself, and I hate them. The first book was so so so so so SO bad!!! Talk about butchering an excellent concept!!!! The writing ability was freakin' juvenile (no offense to the juvies out there) and the characters... oh my god the characters... 

I hope the rapture takes them first.

Oh, and "The Bleachers" by John Grisham is freakin' crap too, though "The Last Juror" was pretty good IMO.


----------



## PageOfCups

Laurel K Hamilton >.< I read Guilty Pleasures and it has to be the worst book I've read in my life so far. The main character was anoying and a bitchy and the other characters were just boring or did things that made no sense to their motivation. I have no idea why anyone continued reading the series after that horific opening.


----------



## Tsaeb XIII

I can't believe only one person has mentioned the work of Paolini, and not even by name. Eragon was mind numbingly boring and incredibly cliche. How could the title of Worst Author ever go to anyone other than Christopher Paolini?    

Regarding Tolkein, the storyline of LOTR is brilliant, and the books bearable because of it, but he really needed to cut out a bit of the waffle. LOTR is one of the few movie series I've ever seen improve upon their source material.


----------



## lilacstarflower

Tsaeb XIII said:


> I can't believe only one person has mentioned the work of Paolini, and not even by name. Eragon was mind numbingly boring and incredibly cliche. How could the title of Worst Author ever go to anyone other than Christopher Paolini?
> 
> Regarding Tolkein, the storyline of LOTR is brilliant, and the books bearable because of it, but he really needed to cut out a bit of the waffle. LOTR is one of the few movie series I've ever seen improve upon their source material.



second that! the constant babbling of poems and songs made me skim-read a lot of the trilogy and was thankful there were no outbursts of mary poppins-style musical scenes or poetry dubbed over sweeping landscape shots


----------



## SevenWritez

Stephanie Meyer. I read the first Twilight book to try and understand the hype, and was appalled. The characters--as I've said before, and will say again--lack any sort of depth, and there is little to no originality in her work.

Reading a recent issue of Time, an article on Stephanie came up, titled, "The Next J.K. Rowling?"

This enraged me. I'm not saying the mind behind Harry Potter carried with it a brilliant writer, but at least some of her ideas stood out.

I find Twilight to be a piss poor novel, and Meyer a piss poor writer. My two cents.


----------



## Remedy

Tsaeb XIII said:


> I can't believe only one person has mentioned the work of Paolini, and not even by name. Eragon was mind numbingly boring and incredibly cliche. How could the title of Worst Author ever go to anyone other than Christopher Paolini?



I think he actually doesn't deserve the worst author title. Yeah, he was boring and the ideas have been used a bijillion times over, especially considering he added nothing new, but at least he could string two sentences together. I'm not saying a fan, but I read Eragon and didn't _hate_ it. I didn't like it either, but I've definitely read worse. 

Of course, "worst" is entirely subjective. 

I can't think of one single author that has stood out so much as the worst. There are several that deserve the really, really, really bad title though (which, if there was only one there, would be the worst). Lynda Le Plant (Le/La, whichever) is absolutely awful; it took me three tries to get through her book and then only because I did the stupid thing and bought it based on a decent synopsis and cool cover. First time I ever purchased a book without reading at least one by the author beforehand, and probably the last time too, seeing how it was so bad. Her characters were one dimensional, she obviously hadn't done her research, and the writing was flat. 

Alice Hoffman is up there too. She was cliche as well, but more than that, she was unrealistic while trying to be realistic. The tangled romance lives were nonsense, and I wanted to smack the characters. They were annoying as hell. 

The author of The Scarlet Pimpernel... Baroness whatever (it's been awhile; assigned reading). Generally the same problems as Alice Hoffman, but with extra long sentences, awful use of suspense, and an annoyingly predictable plot line. More characters I wanted to hit. 

There's more, but I can't think at the moment.


----------



## strangedaze

Chuck Palahniuk.


----------



## Matty Lee

It is obvious that you High-Culture aficionados have limited exposure to the dreck that exists in the "mean streets" of the literary world. You speak of Robert Jordan and Stephen King, Tolkien and Paolini. You know nothing. 

Kenneth Eng - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia ... Here is one of the worst authors of all time. I am unconcerned with his racism, and other assorted instances of nutjobery.  

I don't know how his story "Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate" Doesn't take the cake. Google Image Result for http://www.wired.com/images_blogs/photos/uncategorized/lexicon.jpg 

Also, there's the author of "The Dragons" a book in the Dragonlance series "Douglas Niles" also classifies.


----------



## Olly Buckle

George G. Gilman, Edge. I was stuck somewhere, it was the only book there.


----------



## UnknownBearing

Stephenie Meyer. Hands down. I would say Nathaniel Hawthorne but that's unfair given he's actually an okay writer, I just don't like the language of the time period, and his stories ARE actually pretty good. Stephenie Meyer is a sh**ty writer AND a sh**ty storyteller, so yeah.

J.K. Rowling on the other hand is a sh**ty storyteller but a REALLY good writer. 

Also, Charles Dickens but only for Great Expectations. I mean, there is no excuse for that.


----------



## Vertigo

SevenWritez said:


> Stephanie Meyer. I read the first Twilight book to try and understand the hype, and was appalled. The characters--as I've said before, and will say again--lack any sort of depth, and there is little to no originality in her work.
> 
> Reading a recent issue of Time, an article on Stephanie came up, titled, "The Next J.K. Rowling?"
> 
> This enraged me. I'm not saying the mind behind Harry Potter carried with it a brilliant writer, but at least some of her ideas stood out.
> 
> I find Twilight to be a piss poor novel, and Meyer a piss poor writer. My two cents.


 
I can't say I really care for Twilight either, but Eclipse and Breaking Dawn I both found to be passable works. Anyway, to restate something I once said on another forum, if all you really have to say is 'Twilight sucks lol' then don't post. Certainly, she isn't the best author on the globe, but she was at least a little creative and she did show improvement as she went along in the series.

The worst author I've ever read (adult fiction, mind you- there's too much teen stuff I could clog the topic with) is Terry Goodkind. The man is a snobbish jerk personally, and while not a terrible storyteller, I find him a very technically unskilled writer. He stole liberally from Robert Jordan, and claims his works are of far greater philosophical depth than they really are.


----------



## Matty Lee

> The worst author I've ever read (adult fiction, mind you- there's too much teen stuff I could clog the topic with) is Terry Goodkind. The man is a snobbish jerk personally, and while not a terrible storyteller, I find him a very technically unskilled writer. He stole liberally from Robert Jordan, and claims his works are of far greater philosophical depth than they really are.


 
But he kinda brought up Ayn Rand and Objectivism and stuff.... that makes him cool amirite?


----------



## mephet

*Stephenie Meyer *for obvious reasons... Vertigo, I thought Breaking Dawn was the worst of the lot, especially when it came to storytelling and themes. The creepy imprinting, the nauseating wish-fulfillment that was the vampirification (I... don't think that's a word ), the extreme lack of consistency (Vampires can have babies now? Newborns aren't bloodthirsty? Bella can have _two _powers? Whaat?) and the lack of the climax (even compared to the other books)... Not picking a fight with ya, just putting in my opinion ) I'd mention her also because of the fail-tastic interviews that portray her as the Uwe Boll of books.
But to mention others, I'd say... *Gloria Tesch*, author of the Maradonia saga. I know, I know, young author 'n' all that, not completely fair to pick on her. And I wouldn't, if it weren't for her loudness and, I think it's safe to say, ego that has grown a tad infamous here on the internet. Her (false) insistence that she's the youngest author ever adds to the annoyance. Kids far younger than her have gotten an _actual_ publishing deal. Oh, and *Paolini*. Cliche to mention him, but it's true.
There are a lot of authors that just kind of annoy me, mostly because they have potential, and yet are ridden with flaws that _would be so easy to fix._ For exaple, I'm reading the first book of the Emperor -series right now, and I like the story, just hate the style. The show-don't-tell rule goes completely unnoted and the sudden changes in POV (without even a section break!) give me a headache. This doesn't make the "worst" author list, but it's a small, nagging annoyance in an otherwise alright book.


----------



## Richard.E.Craig

Anna Margaret Ross née McKittrick; 8 December 1860 – 2 February 1939. Anna a writer of my locality has the distinction of being one of the worst poets and novelists in the history of mankind. A recent first edition of one of her volumes sold for £2200 !

Her opening line to Eastertide: Dear Lord the day of eggs is here!

The dreadful opening to her second novel Delina Delany:

Have you ever visited that portion of Erin's plot that
offers its sympathetic soil for the minute survey and scrutinous
examination of those in political power, whose decision has
wisely been the means before now of converting the stern
and prejudiced, and reaching the hand of slight aid to share
its strength in augmenting its agricultural richness?

Or,from Visiting Westminster Abbey:"Visiting Westminster Abbey," which opens:

Holy Moses! Have a look!
Flesh decayed in every nook!
Some rare bits of brain lie here,
Mortal loads of beef and beer,
Some of whom are turned to dust,
Every one bids lost to lust;
Royal flesh so tinged with 'blue'
Undergoes the same as you.


Her works are Arse Gravy par excellence.


----------



## Slugfly

I can't believe Tolkien even comes to mind in a discussion of bad authors...   Terry Goodkind blew me away with his debut novel, I was pretty young.  Then his second novel (his first sequel) seemed like a placeholder for something good... then the third was just trashy and pointless.  At that time I thought he had blown his creative load with his first book.  Later I started noticing older and more significant works than his that had very similar ideas, names and themes...  and I realized he was full of shyt.  I wouldn't put him in the worst author category, I've read some pretty terrible authors, but I definitely think he deserves a dishonorable mention.


----------



## The Blue Pencil

Slugfly said:


> I can't believe Tolkien even comes to mind in a discussion of bad authors...


Tolkien is an utter master, only an idiot would put him in the same league as Stephanie Meyers. For the record, Stephanie Meyers is my vote for worst author. I can't believe that kids actually think that Twilight is good. I wrote better character development when I was 7.


----------



## Erin Moede

Stephanie Meyer! Definitely. 

Can't agree with you more. What I find more disturbing than the writing, though, is some of the messages carried in the books! This book is targeted at a younger impressionable audience, and what does the female 'role model' in this book do when her boyfriend dumps her? She goes into a depression that lasts for MONTHS and then _jumps off a cliff._

Yep, that's the impression we want to give teenagers. If someone dumps you--the world is OVER! lolol


----------



## Erin Moede

You know, on second thought, I know one worse than twilight could ever be! If you've never read this book, it is well worth the laugh: chapters.indigo.ca: In The Shadow Of The Vampire: Irina Cruceanu: Books

In the shadow of a vampire, is a badly written, self published, glorification of violence and disobeying parental figures. The character threatens a young girl, telling her he's going to 'slit her throat and paint her room with her blood' so, his parents decide to send him for 'evaluation' (who wouldn't?) His parents are shown to be insane and inhuman for wanting to do this, so the main character runs away from home and joins a satanic cult....


----------



## RHannay

Christopher Ransom can go right up there with Meyer. "The Birthing House" was so bad you couldn't even laugh at it. The cover looked so cool - it was all blue and reflective. I learned my lesson. Ridiculous plot, awful writing. A complete travesty that trees died so that it might live.


----------



## Ryan Fitz

Replying to some of the authors mentioned on this thread

Billly Shakes (shakespeare): Get past him writing in a foreign language and you realize that the dude was a downright motherfreaking genius.The amount of theme's and layer's his stories have is incredible. He's probably in my top 5 authors, definitely not toward the bottom. Be patient and dive in, you won't regret it. 

Scott Fitzgerald: Him I kind of agree with, decent writer but his short stories have never been anything but cliche affairs for me, and I have no idea why The Great Gatsby became a classic. I don't think he's one of the worst authors of all time though, I still find pleasure in most of his works (the exception of Gatsby) he's just overrated. 

Nathaniel Hawthorne: Downright terrible. His prose focus's on everything irrelevant, his dialogue is awkward and almost never moves the plot forward, his symbols are embarrassedly obvious etc. etc. etc....To be honest I've only read about 3 of his works, but those were such a miserable experience for me that..well I don't plan to read anything else.

Hemingway: Freaking love Hemingway, whoever suggested him needs to be shot in the foot. 

Stephen King: His early works were absolutely fantastic (The Shining is probably one of my favorite books of all time.) but his latter career, it's been rough. Talented writer, just tends to overwrite the story by about....550 pages.


----------



## excuseme

Worst book I ever read? Avatar. Oops, that was a movie.

Seriously though, Stephenie Meyer. I'm sad to say I haven't really read many books, but as far as I've come Stephenie Meyer takes the price. The book consists of plain descriptions of everyday life, and huge overdetailed descriptions every time Edwards steps into the picture. After two chapters I heard every detail about his amazing, crystal white teeth; his flawless lavender lips; his sculptured, greek god chest; his breathtaking eyes and his beautiful, flowing hair. It's so extreme she's running out of adjectives!

I have to give her some cred though: The book is highly comical! Sad thing she didn't mean it to be taken that way.


----------



## The Blue Pencil

excuseme said:


> I have to give her some cred though: The book is highly comical! Sad thing she didn't mean it to be taken that way.


I know! I couldn't help but laugh through the whole book.


----------



## Fiona_Fiction

I love horror books more than anything, so I tend to gravitate toward dark novels. I personally love Stephen King (particularly his earlier work) but one author I don't enjoy so much lately is Dean Koontz. I read a few of his books which I really liked - in fact, I was beginning to wonder if he was to become one of my favourites- but I have read through several more recently and didn't enjoy them at all. It has put me off reading more of his work.


----------



## Criston

Okay, I don't know if any of you have ever been to or visited the site, but ... oh wait, first of all, let me say this.

Stephylococus. Stepholufugus. Stephenie-#$%^-Meyer has to be the worst writer since ... well, since second grade at a school in Africa. A second grade at a school in Africa for the mentally handicapped.

Anyway, I must insist on directing you all to ReasoningWithVampires.tumblr.com. I shall post a single picture from 50 pages of her critiquing and correcting the grammar of all three (four?) books, so that you might get an idea of exactly what I'm talking about.





Enough said. ReasoningWithVampires.tumblr.com. You MUST see it. Some things you just can't stop laughing at.


----------



## ketamineman

carlton melnik III

man, it is crap

his publisher is eraserhead or something like that and on amazon they give fake 5 star reviews to all their books and say that "it is like a mix of david lynch and david cronenberg with some sprinkles of palahniuk"

do not buy anything from that publisher at all

if someone is cold and has a fireplace i will send you a book of his to burn or if you have a lopsided table you might be able to use it to prop up a leg


----------



## Sheridan Holmes

Stephanie Meyer and Christopher Paolini. 

Stephanie Meyer is evil, sent as the first of the many signs of the Apocalypse. 

Christopher Paolini can't write dialogue. I mean seriously. "They do not partake of the meat." I lost any and all respect for him at that moment.

Out of the two, I'd say Meyer is worse, though. At least Paolini's characters have some vague personalities. And he doesn't romanticize relationship abuse.


----------



## obi_have

I can't say he is the _worst _author...just over hyped. *James Patterson*. I was going to read the Women's Murder Club series but never made it through the end of the first book. I usually like mysteries but for some reason his writing irritated me.


----------



## Cressida

James Patterson - very popular but utterly horrible. Danielle Steel - painfully romantic - a bit like a literary version of Simon Bates's 'Our Tune'. I almost forgot Jeanette Winterson. I bought one of her books as it was well reviewed but found the endless lesbian yarning extremely tedious.


----------



## FCRedd

As far as their actual ability to write I would have to go with JK Rowling. Though her story is great, I find her writing to be both choppy and uninspired, I have all of her books, but after watching the movies I just feel I can pay more attention to the actuality of it happening in front of me than reading her lackluster writing. I know she could be seen as more of a pre-teen children's author, but as far as her popularity goes it just seems that it would take more than what she writes to make as much money as she has.

And to concur with the mention of others, I can hardly read a Steven King novel without passing out from boredom. I respect the man for what he has accomplished, but I don't find him scary or intriguing. I may check out Dark Tower though.


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## Atys

Dil is an author I've had the misfortune to meet in real life. I can honestly say that he is one of the most objectionable people I have ever met, and his manga Demon Prince: Children of Gaia is just appalling. On the back of this he's totally commercialised the creation of manga for a small section of the UK Manga industry, and his attitude towards young writers has to be heard to be believed. Thank goodness his books are terrible; I'd hate to have a horrible opinion of him as a person and then be grudgingly impressed.

Edit: Almost forgot Laurell K Hamilton. The Anita Blake books 1-6 were good, and then it was hardcore sex until 9, which was excellent. I believe she's still going, at 15 or so now, and they're just sex. I like it, but can we have some plot too please?


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