# First day at the Moulin Rouge.



## JoannaMac (Jul 14, 2007)

I danced at the Moulin Rouge in Paris and wrote a bit about my time there. This is just a little bit about my first day at the theatre.​ 
  The Moulin Rouge is situated close to the end of Boulevarde de Clichy, slightly separated from the rest of the street’s erotica. As the most famous cabaret in the world, I imagined it’s façade to look like a grand theatre, perhaps with some columns and a few curlicues. At first sight, I was surprised and slightly disappointed by its small, rather unimpressive entrance and exterior. It looks more arresting at night however, when the lights come on and the red windmill on the roof announces clearly “Yes! You’ve come to the right place. This is the Moulin Rouge!”

  On that first day, I’d come to the theatre to introduce myself to Janet, the directrice of the Moulin. I waited for her in the foyer where hanging on the walls were framed originals of flyers and posters for various shows throughout the theatre’s illustrious history. More special were the prints of Toulouse Lautrec’s paintings which made the Moulin immortal. I’d seen them on television, in films, as posters and post cards, but to see them on the walls of the place that inspired them was quite something else. I suddenly felt very proud to become part of it all.

  Further inside, the main hall was dark making it difficult to gage how big the place was. Later when I came back to watch the show for the first time, I saw it was a relatively small dining salle with tables for about 400 people. The deep red of the carpet and velvet upholstery glowed in the soft light, creating a warm and intimate atmosphere. Even though everything looked a little worn and in need of repair, that velvety light transformed it all into old world charm.

  “You must be Joanna” said a voice with a broad northern English accent. I turned around and came face to face with Janet. She was a tall, slim woman in her late thirties, with a slight stoop and a cigarette dangling from her fingers (a permanent fixture I would later find out). Her light brown hair was short and wavy, and parted on the side in a style that belonged on someone much older than herself. She smiled and introduced herself revealing large front teeth, which instantly put me in mind of English country gentlewomen with horsy faces and braying voices. “Well you weren’t lying about your height” she said laughing. Deeply nasal and penetrating, Janet’s laugh will remain burned on my brain forever. Like the firing of a rather slow machine gun, it could cut across the noise and chatter made by 30 dancers preparing themselves for the show.

  “This is all amazing” I said gesturing at the paintings and posters. “Yes” she said vaguely, glancing at them as if noticing them for the first time. “Well come on, I’ll show you around” I followed her through the theatre to the stage. Traces of cooking smells and stale smoke hung in the air, and although it was too dark to see anything clearly, I got a sense of the ‘redness’ all around. 

  We passed behind the stage curtain and went up a flight of metal stairs which brought us to a costume storage area. Above each rack of costumes was written the name of the girl to whom they belonged. The musty odour up there is one of the most powerful memories I have of the Moulin. ‘Formidable’, the show I would soon begin rehearsing had already been running for over eleven years. The costumes, while well maintained, had been sweated in for years by literally hundreds of girls. It was something we all preferred not to think about too much. De-sensitization sets in very quickly however, but the memory of the smell on that first day will stay with me always. 

  Next, we went through the dressing rooms, which looked exactly how I imagined they would, like a set from a movie about the theatre. The mirrors were bordered with bright lights and fallen feathers and Rhine stones littered the floor. For months I collected them like a Jackdaw and when there were finally enough stones, I encrusted them on the edges of a large, rectangular mirror I found abandoned in the street. 

  Glittering costume pieces and head dresses hung from hooks on the walls from which the paint was peeling. Satin dressing gowns lay draped over the backs of chairs. Make up and facial creams covered the dressing tables, and underneath were shelves stuffed with high heeled chorus shoes. To find that such a glamorous cliché really existed was a little dream come true. 

  We went up another flight of stairs to look at the practice studio where I’d be rehearsing for the next few weeks and back down to the atelier where the costumes were cared for by a team of seamstresses. Janet talked a bit about the everyday workings of the show and about my timetable for the rehearsal period. Lastly, we went to her office where I signed my contract. I’d come to Paris on a promise, so it came as quite a relief to finally sign on the dotted line.


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## Voodoo (Jul 14, 2007)

didn't think such a glamorous place could be portrayed as so dingy.

well done, schatz.


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## JoannaMac (Jul 14, 2007)

German Voodoo said:


> didn't think such a glamorous place could be portrayed as so dingy.
> 
> well done, schatz.


 
Thanks sweetpea. At first Moulin fell short of my expectations. The other big cabaret in Paris is called 'The Lido', which is much ritzier, but after a while my view changed. I guess I became loyal to my show. It happens to most dancers who work there. You realize that while the 'Lido' is newer and more flashy, the Moulin has a history and far more character. It's a true Parisian show, rather than a 'Las Vegas Wannabe'.


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## Mustafa (Jul 14, 2007)

I really liked it!!  I think we are all familiar  with seeing something from the outside and then once on the inside how different they can actually are.

I felt like I was there and could see and smell what was being described.

You have some great ingredients for a story.  I would love to taste the main course.


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## JoannaMac (Jul 14, 2007)

Mustafa said:


> I really liked it!! I think we are all familiar with seeing something from the outside and then once on the inside how different they can actually are.
> 
> I felt like I was there and could see and smell what was being described.
> 
> You have some great ingredients for a story. I would love to taste the main course.


 
Thanks Mustafa! I'm actually about three quarters of the way through the book I'm trying to write. It's unedited, but I'll start cleaning up some more bits and pieces to post here ok?


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## mammamaia (Jul 14, 2007)

c'est formidable, ma petite!... am looking forward to further installments... saw only a few little goofs to be fixed, tagging you as a better writer/proofer/editor than most i see... let me know if you need help with anything, as i think this has the potential to actually make it into print [the _paid_ kind!] and would be happy to help you on your way... 

love and hugs, maia


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## JoannaMac (Jul 15, 2007)

mammamaia said:


> c'est formidable, ma petite!... am looking forward to further installments... saw only a few little goofs to be fixed, tagging you as a better writer/proofer/editor than most i see... let me know if you need help with anything, as i think this has the potential to actually make it into print [the _paid_ kind!] and would be happy to help you on your way...
> 
> love and hugs, maia



Thank you Maia. Please tell me what the goofs are. Can you perhaps email me a correction? I'm glad you like it though. I don't have that much confidence in my writing and have been quite shy about posting it here.But since a couple of you have shown some interest, I feel really motivated to clean up a few more Moulin snippets. Thanks again


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## mammamaia (Jul 15, 2007)

works better if you email it to me in an ms word doc attachment... then i can add corrections in situ more easily than i can here... send to:

maia3maia@hotmail.com


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## JoannaMac (Jul 16, 2007)

mammamaia said:


> works better if you email it to me in an ms word doc attachment... then i can add corrections in situ more easily than i can here... send to:
> 
> maia3maia@hotmail.com



Ok. Thanks Maia, will do


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## BWE (Jul 17, 2007)

Quite beautiful. In an age where we so often accept reality as offered, seeing it as something to notice occasionally shocks me into a strange kind of euphoria. Loving something for its backstage as well as its facade rarely makes its way into cultural writing that I see and we all identify with both parts.  You put me there.

If I were to offer any constructive criticism,  it is simply that opening an essay or story with a passive sentence always struck me as requiring special justification. 

Not that you don't have that but, FWIW, I always try to articulate it just to convince myself that I meant to do it.


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## JoannaMac (Jul 17, 2007)

BWE said:


> Quite beautiful. In an age where we so often accept reality as offered, seeing it as something to notice occasionally shocks me into a strange kind of euphoria. Loving something for its backstage as well as its facade rarely makes its way into cultural writing that I see and we all identify with both parts. You put me there.
> 
> If I were to offer any constructive criticism, it is simply that opening an essay or story with a passive sentence always struck me as requiring special justification.
> 
> Not that you don't have that but, FWIW, I always try to articulate it just to convince myself that I meant to do it.


 
Thanks for taking the time to read and give feed back. What did you mean about opening the story with a passive sentence, and it needing special justification? And what is FWIW? I'm not really up on the latest jargon


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## BWE (Jul 17, 2007)

> The Moulin Rouge *is* situated close to the end of Boulevarde de Clichy, slightly separated from the rest of the street’s erotica.


When you use a form of "to be", in this case "is" as the verb in an opening setting you don't ask the reader's mind to do anything or go anywhere. Sometimes, you mean for them to stay put and sometimes you just forget to scoop them up.

The second sentence makes them act by parsing the word "imagined".


> As the most famous cabaret in the world, I *imagined* it’s façade to look like a grand theatre, perhaps with some columns and a few curlicues.


 (its is a possessive pronoun not a contraction by the way  or BTW for short)

One way to change the sentence might be


> The Moulin Rouge, situated close to the end of Boulevarde de Clichy, *stands* slightly separated from the rest of the street’s erotica.


The reader has to stand the building rather than simply observe. 

Like I said above though, if you can justify it to yourself and you like it that way then don't worry.

FWIW= for what it's (short for it is) worth 

Is that helpful at all?


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## JoannaMac (Jul 17, 2007)

Thanks very much, your version does sound a lot better  I'll post a few more of my Moulin Snippets and I hope you'll read them. This kind of advice is very useful.


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## mammamaia (Jul 17, 2007)

fwiw [wink], even better/more reader-impactful might be:



> The Moulin Rouge stands slightly separated from the rest of the street’s erotica, near the end of Boulevarde de Clichy.


 
...gets us right to the intriguing erotica bit w/o futzing around... ;-)


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## JoannaMac (Jul 18, 2007)

Yes, that works too!


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## BWE (Jul 18, 2007)

Yes. Much better.


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## Shinn (Oct 5, 2007)

Hey Jo! 

Just thought that I would read this snippet while I was on here. It is as good as the first one that I commented on. Keep up the good work! ^^

~ Shinn


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## JoannaMac (Oct 5, 2007)

Very sweet of you to say Shinn. Thanks for taking the time to read my work


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## winner (Oct 5, 2007)

*Standing ovation*

=D>​ 
Your a very good writer. You held my interest all along. Good choice of adjectives without over using them, you sparked it up with intermittent dialogue, you timing was just right, you didn't spent too much time on any one thing, good character descriptions, your choice of topic was an interesting one. If you are not a published writer, you should pursue this. You could have a career in writing.


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## winner (Oct 5, 2007)

*WARNING !!!!!!!!*

I just read your replies and see one writer that is telling you to e-mail you material to him to review and make corrections, edit. DON'T DO IT!!! Don't ever send your material to another writer to review for any reason whatsoever. Manuscripts are stolen that way. The Writing business and publishing industry is a cut throat business. Writers get screwed out of their material all the time. Before anyone views you manuscript, get the copyright on it. Make it legally yours. Then let an editor, agent, publisher, etc take a look at 1-3 chapters of it only. And then sign a contract. Only after it is copyrighted, and a contract is signed do you hand over the full manuscript. Many writers will try to maneuver or manipulate you out of your material and many times it will be in the disguise of being helpful or friendly. BEWARE! You have good material and could go far I feel, but don't be naive about how you handle this.


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## JoannaMac (Oct 5, 2007)

Thank you for the feed back Winner, much appreciated. Don't worry about the email thing. Her name is maia and she helps writers, nothingto worry about there. Actually she's leaving the forums and there's a bit of drama surrounding her exit. See "goodbye all!"

This is actually an old Moulin post of mine and if you'd like to read more recent snippets, check out the links below and let me know what you think.

Thanks again for the input 

http://www.writingforums.com/writers-workshop/82537-life-moulin-rouge-doggies-bald-spots.html

http://www.writingforums.com/writers-workshop/86542-moulin-rouge-snippet-3-animals.html


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## Olly Buckle (Oct 6, 2007)

Winner is, I believe, both right and wrong on this one. As I understand copyright law Joanna has established her rights to the piece by publishing here, any way what's to stop someone copying directly from here. On the other hand many people feel it is unwise to reveal your email address to strangers, that is why we have the private message facility.


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## snorrie (Oct 6, 2007)

Very nicely done. I have to say that I'm not a fan of non-fiction, but I decided to read this piece because of the title. I've been toying with the idea of writing about my experiences as a black jack dealer and I have to say, this piece has given me the inspiration to do so. Very nice!


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## JoannaMac (Oct 6, 2007)

Thanks Snorrie, it's a nice thing for me to know I helped inspire someone else to get their story out there. As a black jack dealer you must have some fascinating anecdotes to tell, and I'm sure it's the kind of thing a lot of people would find interesting to read.


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## snorrie (Oct 6, 2007)

> Orginially Posted by JoannaMac
> Thanks Snorrie, it's a nice thing for me to know I helped inspire someone else to get their story out there. As a black jack dealer you must have some fascinating anecdotes to tell, and I'm sure it's the kind of thing a lot of people would find interesting to read.


Fishing around for a topic to write on that someone might find interesting, I sent a few pages of my experience and the first agent I sent it to wanted the rest. Well, of course I don't have it so now I'm working on doing a full length story on black jack dealing.


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## JoannaMac (Oct 6, 2007)

That's great! I knew it would be something people would want to read. Maybe you could post a couple of snippets here on the forum so I can have a look at it?


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## winner (Oct 9, 2007)

Thanks for your reply, Joanna Mac. I didn't want to write that post to you entitled 'Warning", but I was alarmed at someone attempting to get your material. I have had experience with other writers trying to steal my material, so I understand how it can happen. Thank you for referring me to 'goodbye all'. It brought me understanding behind her post. Nevertheless it is bad practice to ask for someone else's material and something bad can come out of it. Perhaps not in her case, but it is not professional or appropriate for a writer to request to view another writers material. Very bad and I am glad the forum sees it that way also.


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## winner (Oct 9, 2007)

*It is not the works of your enemy you will remember, but the silence of your friends*



winner said:


> Thanks for your reply, Joanna Mac. I didn't want to write that post to you entitled 'Warning", but I was alarmed at someone attempting to get your material. I have had experience with other writers trying to steal my material, so I understand how it can happen. Thank you for referring me to 'goodbye all'. It brought me understanding behind her post. Nevertheless it is bad practice to ask for someone else's material and something bad can come out of it. Perhaps not in her case, but it is not professional or appropriate for a writer to request to view another writers material. Very bad and I am glad the forum sees it that way also.


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## winner (Oct 9, 2007)

mm


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## jnbertoni (Oct 9, 2007)

Hey, I have a question for you. The story you are writing reminds a little of what I want to write about so I was interested in if you already found an agent or publisher. Have you written a query yet? Or you finishing your whole story before you do any of the above. Don't worry, I'm not writing about the Moulin Rouge, but just something else involved in the entertainment business.


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## Olly Buckle (Oct 13, 2007)

I have sent Winner a pm but just to say to every one, I don't believe (i before e winner) it is acceptable, or legal, to copy from here, just no more difficult physically.


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## winner (Oct 13, 2007)

*Artistic Growth is, more than anything else, a refining sense of truthfullness.*

mm


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## JoannaMac (Oct 19, 2007)

jnbertoni said:


> Hey, I have a question for you. The story you are writing reminds a little of what I want to write about so I was interested in if you already found an agent or publisher. Have you written a query yet? Or you finishing your whole story before you do any of the above. Don't worry, I'm not writing about the Moulin Rouge, but just something else involved in the entertainment business.



Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you, I've been away for a while. To answer your question, no I haven't written a query yet. I think I want to finish the thing before I send it anywhere. I've written over half of the book and have somehow  got stuck.  I  have brain like a sieve and have dredged up as much I as could easily. Now comes the hard part; filling in the gaps and trying to form some kind of sequence of events. I'm too afraid to send a query, because if they like it, I'll be forced to finish the rest, and then I'll feel under pressure. Hey, wait a minute, that's probably just what I need!


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## winner (Oct 19, 2007)

*! Alert !*

mm


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