# The Trials And Travails Of.....A Three Story Character Analysis



## shedpog329 (Sep 26, 2012)

*asdv*


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## Cran (Sep 26, 2012)

You seem to have the same formatting glitch that crops up from time to time - 
line return code not picked up in the paste process. 

Long compound sentences in long compound paragraphs never work for me, especially in non-fiction. 
I know a lot of people are impressed by big blocks of text; as an editor, I am not one of those people. 

You may well have written an erudite and interesting essay; I couldn't tell. 
I stopped reading at par 3.


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## shedpog329 (Sep 26, 2012)

aw paragraph three was the best too, anyway i fixed the format, c'mon cran read it

and i agree the begining is a little weak, hopfully it progresses logically tho


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## Cran (Sep 27, 2012)

For whom are you writing this? Who is your reader? 


> Long compound sentences in long compound paragraphs never work for me, especially in non-fiction.
> I know a lot of people are impressed by big blocks of text; as an editor, I am not one of those people.


This comes across as written by a college or university student who still hasn't caught on that welding three or four paragraphs into one to make big blocks of text doesn't improve the message; rather, it detracts from the message, makes it harder to see.

On the practical side, it makes your thesis much thinner (as though it contained less and involved less work), and more difficult to read. An editor would carve those compound pars up, and a publisher would insist upon it, because most of your points and examples are lost in a sea of text.


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## shedpog329 (Sep 27, 2012)

I got a B- on it


Would you think maybe you could show me wat you mean? chop and crop it? I mean i could go in there and hit enter a dozen times but im not much of an editor
Do you think the thesis needs more work or was the alluding text still seen between the lines?


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## Cran (Sep 27, 2012)

That probably means it should have earned an A. 

OK, I'll come back to this and illustrate what I mean as soon as I've caught up.


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## Cran (Sep 28, 2012)

_ *A paragraph is one or more sentences which enclose a point of focus, 
an idea, or a definable component of an idea. *_

*The Storys  *

A Worn Path by Eudora Welty
The Jilting of Granny Weatherall by Katherine Anne Porter

&
A Rose for Emily by William Faulkner


*The Trials And Travails Of *

*Phoenix** Jackson, Granny Weatherall And Miss Emily Grierson*
When the thought of courage takes on its necessary role within us, it begins with the uneasy emotion that has gone faint with uncertainty, from then on, we find this emotion raised by the idea of good intention and good character, allowing it to continue to mature and bringing with it a purpose to our experience. 

Humanity traits within us and plays its part for the individual to the individual, it is through these borrowed roles that courage takes lead in our lives and moves us forward in reflection to the moments where we need it. Courage is not limited to the few, but each of us shares this courage together and carries one another along the way. 
I would like to think of courage as a way of creating the best from ourselves in the times where it seems we are at our worst. 

These three characters, their trials and their travails to make such a progression, can relate to these values portrayed within their stories of individuality. Such individuality from each of the three women, Emily Grierson,Granny Weatherall and Phoenix Jackson, can relate in their own right, an upbringing of such valor. The authors of their stories have taken their actions and shared them with us. Each of the three women are presented with a boldness and strength acknowledged in those actions

For Phoenix Jackson, who had traveled through the deep and still forest, crossing these hurdles that begged her to stay, she had instilled in us through the mountains, the courage to embrace our youth. Moving the hills with a motion like “the pendulum of a grandfather clock” her role in the story was the bravery, which at such a delicate age was to save the life of her grandson. 

She had pleaded with herself these little things along the way; to not close her eyes or tear her dress, or how requiring it would be to hold on to an arm and a leg while “the wind rocked” her path. 

Eudora Welty had introduced us to these intense images to express to us that not only is Miss Jackson strongwilled, but to find a sense of life in her that keeps her moving. Where her senses hung, she waited for a hand to reach down for her. 

The memory of her grandson appears to us within the trials that she encounters as it lapsed through her memories, the boy in the clouds, crawling like a baby under barbed wire and dancing with the scarecrow. As she lay there, ready to retire, Welty then introduces us to the shared courage that we hand down to each other. 

The young hunter, who finally comes to her rescue and lifts Phoenix to “swing in the air”, was like the first chance of life for Miss Jackson. Passed the ghostly scarecrow, the imaginary boy in the clouds and the barbed wire fences, we finally get a chance to see how with the help from each other, we find the motivation within ourselves to keep moving where we are“bound” to go. The hunter, a white man, portrays a certain strength that we bond to within each other. When Phoenix found the hunter, she found the courage to continue the path she was taking to save her grandson.

Upon Phoenix Jackson surmounting her destination to the clinic, the attendant asks for her name, unaware that Phoenix was there for her grandson, withdrawn and forgotten why she had made this long and timely journey, it had become a notion that left Miss Jackson with a solemn twitch. 

In this passing moment, Eudora wanted to express the understanding that Phoenix’s youth had been shaken away from her, an idea that had once been lifted free from her hands as she advanced her way into the clinic. 

This youthful and essential perspective can also be seen in the story, The Jilting of Granny Weatherall. 

The story begins with a visit from the doctor, as old Granny Weatherall rests, she “flicked her wrist neatly out of Doctor Harry’spudgy careful fingers” stubborn to her old age and convinced there was nothing wrong, Doctor Harry, had been certain to “have her up in no time” but would only receive a response that silenced his naivety, “that’s no way to speak to a women nearly eighty years old just because she’s down…young man”. 

For Granny Weatherall, youth was a reflection that mirrored her past like a floating balloon had planned its tomorrow. She was stubborn without a doubt but she had convinced herself that she was just fine for every taken minute; I suppose it was a way of gratifying herself. 

When she did find the time for death, that which she knew was rounding the corner, at the age of sixty or forty years before the Doctor was born, she would uneasily remember the years of “farewell trips”. She remembered her father’s last birthday at one hundred and two, easing her leave. For Granny Weatherall death had become a daily habit of the past. She had become certain that her future was for her children and this is where she had found her courage. 

Like Miss Jackson and her grandson, although like most of her sensibility, the notion wouldn’t make her say such a thing out loud, Weatherall found her gift of bravery within her kids. When she thought of them, she had thought of all the ways she had planned and put their life together and Jimmy would always tell her “You’ve got a good business head”.

“Don’t let your wounded vanity get the upper hand of you. Plenty of girls get jilted; you were jilted, weren’t you? Then stand up to it.” Ellen had gently recited to her mother, whom she knew had been saddened and mourned for the death of her husband. 

For a moment, the idea of death that had taken him, and now her, had been the only thing left of her sincerest thoughts. Before she dies, her children by her side, she goes into a deep memoir “pressed against her heart and the memory…” of her husband “being squeezed out of it…but he had not come, just the same”. 

The courage for Weatherall and her good will for her children had been a delegation and honor that came with her marriage. Yet the courage to see her husband one more time had become the true image of her confessional that she had prayed to lift her up from her woes. 

In the story of Emily Grierson, her courage could be related similarly. However for Emily, I believe a different courage could be held within the beauty of her story. In a Rose for Emily, Miss Grierson, as the towns people would say, had claimed a certain “respectful affection”. 

Emily had been a private person, for undoubted reasons, she was a dark cynical type of character, yet never the less her fame had been preserved through her heritage as a noble sort within the town. She was no charity case, but she was never the less pampered for the reason that her father had gained a hierarchical status in town. 

However, when her taxes became re-instated, generations that had passed, had invented her to be anything less than pampered. She had become an objective by the town alderman at an old age and was like the silver spoon that was required of to feed the sleeping giant. In her eyes she almost seemed to be the Hail Mary in regards to the alderman’s blessings. She treated them like a child and her courage to defy their requests had her acting out her past to be heaven sent by Colonial Sartoris and her father. 

When she became ill she had a look that was a sort of “tragic and serene”, resembling those “angels in colored church windows”. The town would whisper “poor Emily” and even though at times she would appear as a fallen testament, she had carried herself through and demanded her head held high. 

The difference between Emily in respects to Phoenix and Weatherall, is that she had a strange sort of approach to her independence bestowed upon such a courage. She never got involved with the constructions of the town and when her husband had died, she had hid the body, independent from his death tax. 

Upon her funeral when the town’s people visit her house, the men had talked of her as a“contemporary”, a courage that Miss Emily would never see but by others was seen with poise. “Confusing time with its mathematical progression…the past is not a diminishing road, but, instead, a huge meadow…divided from them now.”

Elderly in age and brittle to find their youth, each of the three characters had been portrayed within a lapse of the past. The three women were given a task that had become like a weight of doubt to prove such courage. For Phoenix it was saving the life of her grandson, Granny Weatherall it had become death itself and for Miss Emily,courage had been to stand up to the town that beckoned her to submit her wealth. 

The characters show an eminence of growth in moments where bravery was at its dimmest light. Each character had made a pledge and obligation to their story. If one could make a commitment to themselves that holds such a strong characteristic, then renowned and valued, this characteristic survives and is shared. 

Through finding the best from ourselves, we can then use that trait to prove the best in the actions of others and the courage seen in them. This courage was seen thru the eyes of the hunter, Granny Weatherall’s children and the town’s people of Jefferson. In the end we see that courage is a learned trait, a pragmatic result of others goodness that these three couragous women portrayed to the best of their ability, the bearings and overcomings of their trials and travails.

*
 Now, all I’ve done is identify the paragraphs as written.
The awkward compound sentences, odd grammar, word choices 
and spellings have been left as found.*


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## shedpog329 (Sep 28, 2012)

Ok, I think I see what you mean, I'll look into it on the next one

Thanks Cran


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 29, 2012)

The Storys 

A Worn Path by Eudora Welty
The Jilting of Granny Weatherall by Katherine Anne Porter

&
A Rose for Emily by William Faulkner


The Trials And Travails Of 

Phoenix Jackson, Granny Weatherall And Miss Emily Grierson
When the thought of courage takes on its necessary role within us, it begins with the uneasy emotion that has gone faint with uncertainty, from then on, we find this emotion raised by the idea of good intention and good character, allowing it to continue to mature and bringing with it a purpose to our experience. 

At first I thought, “This is vague, what is ‘the necessary role of the thought of courage’, what is it necessary for? And which ‘emotion has gone faint with uncertainty’? Is it the same one that is ‘raised by the idea of good intention and good character’?” On reflection I think you are referring to courage throughout. Part of my confusion was because I don’t think of courage as an emotion, more a quality. The run on nature of the sentence, however, inclines me to think it is all about the same thing.
Secondly, I was not sure I had your sense, there is so much in there it is easy to get confused. Does this relate to what you meant?
‘When we need to seek courage within ourselves it is because our courage has grown faint through uncertainty. As soon as we start seeking it we find that our good intentions reinforce it and it grows, bringing purpose and meaning to our existence.’
I think I have got it right. Working on that assumption note how I have split the run on sentence to separate the two aspects of the idea. Secondly, simple is good, because it is clear and obvious. This is a form of the well known adage “Less is more”. Sometimes a concept is complicated and cannot be expressed in simplistic terms, but it can always be further complicated, beware that. Looking at what I have written above I am tempted to simplify it still further to make it,
‘We seek courage within ourselves because it has grown faint through uncertainty. As we seek it our good intentions reinforce it and it grows, bringing purpose and meaning to our existence.’
In some ways that is a long way from your original, but I think the main sense is there, and a lot more accessible.

Humanity traits within us and plays its part for the individual to the individual, it is through these borrowed roles that courage takes lead in our lives and moves us forward in reflection to the moments where we need it. Courage is not limited to the few, but each of us shares this courage together and carries one another along the way. 
I would like to think of courage as a way of creating the best from ourselves in the times where it seems we are at our worst.

As Cran has split this up into nice little paragraphs. I am going to deal with them as they come rather than trying to separate them internally.
‘Humanity traits’ sounds wrong to me, I am not enough of a grammar expert to define why exactly but my ear says ‘Human traits’ or ‘Traits of humanity’. Then these traits are plural, so ‘play their part’. But then I noticed the ‘and’; that makes ‘traits’ look like a verb (Is it? I only think of it as a noun). “For the individual to the individual”, my immediate feeling is this needs something, a comma or a conjunction. Does this sound fair?
“Human traits within us play their part, for the individual, and to the individual.”
At first I thought, I always try and avoid qualifying remarks like ‘it is as though’. They weaken remarks that do not need them, and remarks that do need them are of questionable value, then I re-read and realised it reads ‘it is through’, my bad, but removing unnecessary words makes things clearer, note my full stop (period) after individual,
“Through these borrowed roles courage takes(a) lead in our lives, and moves us forward in reflection to the moments where (‘When’, moments are time not place) we need it. Courage is not limited to the few, (we) share courage and carry one another along. 
I think of courage as creating the best from ourselves in the times where (‘When’  again) it seems we are at our worst.”
The ‘like to’ and ‘a way of’ are the sort of ‘qualifying’ remarks I referred to above that weaken the statement. My feeling is for ‘finding the best within’ rather than ‘creating the best from’, but maybe your construction suits the argument better.


These three characters, their trials and their travails to make such a progression, can relate to these values portrayed within their stories of individuality. Such individuality from each of the three women, Emily Grierson,Granny Weatherall and Phoenix Jackson, can relate in their own right, an upbringing of such valor. The authors of their stories have taken their actions and shared them with us. Each of the three women are presented with a boldness and strength acknowledged in those actions.

Don’t use four words when you could use one, ‘ ... to progress’. ‘these values’ raises the question ‘Which values’; reading on I think it should be ‘The values’ , and why ‘can’. Try cutting out the sub-clause and reading it; “These three characters ... can relate to these values portrayed within their stories of individuality”, the ‘can’ is another of those weakening words, personally I would have gone for ‘shown in their individual stories’, as more natural sounding. Having said ‘Such individuality’ and then named the three women, ‘in their own right’ seems like gilding the lily; ‘ relate an upbringing of valor,’ lose the ‘can’ and ‘such’, it is stronger without them. Nice short, clear, sentences to finish, suited to the bold natures they describe. Possibly simply, ‘Each is presented ...’ in the last, to make it even more so, we know who you are talking about at this point. ‘their actions’?

For Phoenix Jackson, who had traveled through the deep and still forest, crossing these hurdles that begged her to stay, she had instilled in us through the mountains, the courage to embrace our youth. Moving the hills with a motion like “the pendulum of a grandfather clock” her role in the story was the bravery, which at such a delicate age was to save the life of her grandson.

Look, take out the sub clauses. “For Phoenix Jackson, she had instilled in us through the mountains, the courage to embrace our youth.”. Are yo talking about the author? Or should it read “Phoenix Jackson, had instilled in us through the mountains, the courage to embrace our youth”? It is easier to be clear if you separate things into short sentences, ‘Phoenix Jackson, traveled through the deep and still forest, crossing hurdles that begged her to stay. She instilled in us, through the mountains, the courage to embrace our youth. Moving (through?) the hills with a motion like “the pendulum of a grandfather clock” her role in the story was the bravery, which at such a delicate age was to save the life of her grandson. The construction does not make it clear if the delicate age was hers or her grandson’s.


That is as far as I am taking it at the moment, things are going on in 'real life', but I hope it is some help. If I have missed your meaning in places I apologise, but try and see why and how I have done so, It might help with clarity. May I recommend CS Forester as an author for pleasure reading, good tales of adventure, and his style is clear and succinct. 'Stories' in the title by the way.


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## shedpog329 (Sep 30, 2012)

You've given me alot to think about here Olly, thanks for the suggestions and ya I'll look into this Forester character, Thanks again


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