# Shortest but definately my favourite poem I've EVER written -K



## Kryptex (Sep 5, 2012)

A silky trail, ebbed to perfection,
A sweet sourness, vertical complexion,
Therein, the greatest invention to date,
Held by the five, a tongue so late.


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 6, 2012)

Sorry, I got the image of a snail trail up the wall and enough fits I am having trouble getting past it, can you explain a little?


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## Potty (Sep 6, 2012)

silky trail - the line the pen makes

sweet sourness- the taste of the ink of a ball point

vertical complexion - ball points don;t write so well vertically

Held by the five - fingers

tongue so late - *shrugs* sucking the end of the pen?

I liked it.


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## Kryptex (Sep 6, 2012)

A silky trail, ebbed to perfection - the ink writing a pen makes.

A sweet sourness, vertical complexion - refers to the shape & size it makes. The sweet sourness refers to the feather - what the pen was before it existed. The writer used to lick the nib before placing it in the ink.

Therein, the greatest invention to date - explains itself.

Held by the five, a tongue so late - refers to the 5 fingers on a hand used to hold it, and the tongue so late refers to it's materialisation of words which form from the mouth to paper.


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 6, 2012)

Now I see, sorry, I was not being deliberately obtruse, once an idea establishes itself it is hard to lose, even when you are sure it is wrong.


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## The Backward OX (Sep 6, 2012)

Definately readable.


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## Kryptex (Sep 6, 2012)

The Backward OX said:


> Definately readable.



What do you mean by that?


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## Arcopitcairn (Sep 6, 2012)

I tend to like poems about _things_, like say, a pen. So I very much enjoyed this one. Nice piece!


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 6, 2012)

Kryptex said:


> What do you mean by that?


Take it as a compliment, it is not often you see The Ox in poetry, his favourite poets are Henry Lawson and Banjo Patterson, though I once got him to read Kipling's Ballad of East and West, probably because it has ballad in the title.


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## Cran (Sep 6, 2012)

Kryptex said:


> What do you mean by that?



It means he found it readable - that's a compliment coming from *Ox* - 

_and_ he was subtly pointing to your incorrect spelling of *definitely* in the thread title.


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## Kryptex (Sep 6, 2012)

Ahh. Well thank you to Ox, I appreciate it 

And that's rather embarrassing :O

I apologise


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## Kryptex (Sep 6, 2012)

Olly Buckle said:


> Now I see, sorry, I was not being deliberately obtruse, once an idea establishes itself it is hard to lose, even when you are sure it is wrong.



Not to worry, I do that enough :lol:

But I agree, once you picture something in a certain way, it's almost impossible to change it unless you present to yourself an undoubtable conclusion which is rock-solid.


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## southerner (Sep 9, 2012)

Very clever! Classic poetry. I don't think you should give it away with that first line, however.


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## Kryptex (Sep 9, 2012)

southerner said:


> Very clever! Classic poetry. I don't think you should give it away with that first line, however.



If you mean that 





> It's about the pen.


 line, then yeah looking back I probably shouldn't have. Only sometimes, people don't realise what it is - and I got messaged quite a few times on another forum by people asking me what it is 

Thanks for the feedback though


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## Gumby (Sep 11, 2012)

I enjoyed this one. I thought the line, _it's about the pen,_ was the title.  I've misspelled that word, definitely, so many times, myself. You're not alone in your embarrassment here.


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## Kryptex (Sep 11, 2012)

Aha thanks 

I'm glad you enjoyed it


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## The Backward OX (Sep 11, 2012)

The Backward OX said:


> Definately readable.





Kryptex said:


> What do you mean by that?





Olly Buckle said:


> Take it as a compliment, it is not often you see The Ox in poetry, his favourite poets are Henry Lawson and Banjo Patterson, though I once got him to read Kipling's Ballad of East and West, probably because it has ballad in the title.



Come in, spinner. Cran got it right.


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## Kryptex (Sep 11, 2012)

Ok, well thanks for pointing it out Cran & Ox 

I would've carried on posting it as _definately_ :abnormal:


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## Tiberius Baltar (Sep 11, 2012)

I really liked the poem and I think you should keep the first line in! It's like a little side note that just crept into your mind while you were writing something else then suddenly thought "I shall write about this here pen."

I always used to have a similar problem with definite and definate until I learned to remind myself to say the word "infinity" I've never spelled it wrongly since!


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## Kryptex (Sep 12, 2012)

Aha, thanks 

Yeah, I'll remember not to spell with 'a' now


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## funkwolf (Sep 12, 2012)

It was short and sweet!


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## Kryptex (Sep 12, 2012)

Thank you


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## Ethan (Oct 5, 2012)

Sorry I'm a newbie, but I sorta see where olly was coming from (I had exactly the same thought until I read your explanation). Maybe if it was a little less vague ?


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## Kryptex (Oct 8, 2012)

Ethan said:


> Sorry I'm a newbie, but I sorta see where olly was coming from (I had exactly the same thought until I read your explanation). Maybe if it was a little less vague ?



Vague was what I was going for, not too specific but to keep someone guessing.

Obviously at first glance, you wouldn't understand what I had written mainly because, for example,  you wouldn't associate 'sweet sourness' with a writer licking the nib of a feather-pen. 

And regardless if you're a newbie, any & all criticism is appreciated & welcome. Thank you for taking the time to reply


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