# Good books that should never be made into movies



## Erik Buchanan (Dec 6, 2007)

The books into movies thread is the inspiration for this one, of course.

What book (or books) have you read that you thought were brilliant, but that you know would be absolutely destroyed if it was turned into a movie? Any why?

To start: _The Debt to Pleasure_ by John Lancaster.

A brilliant book that seems lighthearted but has a sinister vein that grows through the length of the book until the nasty (in a good way) conclusion.

Making _The Debt to Pleasure_ into a movie would destroy this book entirely because it is written in the first person and it is the exploration of the mind of the narrator which is interesting and gives the book its depth.  I don't believe it could even be slightly reproduced in movie form without a clunky voice-over narration that would destroy it.

So, how about you?  Which books do you love that you know should never be made into movies?


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## Mr Sci Fi (Dec 6, 2007)

VALIS.

I just don't think it's possible.


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## howowiginal (Dec 6, 2007)

I gagged when I heard they are making Spud by John van de Ruit into a movie. An _American _movie no less, turning cricket into baseball and Spud the Soprano Choirboy into some teenage Brad Pitt. It won't be half as funny as the book.:cry:


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## duck (Dec 6, 2007)

That is easy - Every Stephen King book!


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## wheelz1138 (Dec 6, 2007)

The Bible - can you imagine the length that movie would be? And then there'd probably be some Mel Gibson type directing it, so in the end, utter junk.

Also, I'd hate to see a film adaptation of Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. That would also be incredibly long, and such a lousy plot for a movie.


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## duck (Dec 6, 2007)

Actually The Passion was an incredible movie.



wheelz1138 said:


> The Bible - can you imagine the length that movie would be? And then there'd probably be some Mel Gibson type directing it, so in the end, utter junk.
> 
> Also, I'd hate to see a film adaptation of Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. That would also be incredibly long, and such a lousy plot for a movie.


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## jesterscourt (Dec 7, 2007)

House of Leaves.  Although I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't want to hear some ideas of how it COULD be filmed.


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## Linton Robinson (Dec 7, 2007)

Roget's Thesaurus

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

The Necronomicon

The Domesday Book

The Tibetan Book of the Dead

Cooking With Tofu

The Whole Earth Catalog

The Blue Book


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## Rabid Euphoria (Dec 7, 2007)

The Road - Cormac McCarthy
The Ruins - Scott Smith

Too bad the Ruins is already slated and casted. Sadly, the director doesn't really have a resume and, while I seen Jena Malone listed, without a character. There are five main characters and they not only need young actors (that can portray people in young to mid twenties) who can also capture these characters.   As much as the book ruled I can see it being turned into a lame thriller instead of a psychological, situation-themed, horror.  Smith did an amazing job not only capturing the horror but the hopelessness and desperation.  I can't see the film doing it. 

Duck - I agree save for the works made on his smaller works (Mist, Shawshank) and many of the larger books (Dreamcatcher) are either low-budget/mini-series (It, Pet Semetary) an don't transfer well.  Problem that King's horror often depends on the depth and strength of it's characters and without great actors (like a Maricia Gay Harden or a Jack Nicholson) it canot be portrayed properly.


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## lordofhats (Dec 7, 2007)

Starship Troopers.. what? They already made a movie about it... 
Enders Game... they made a movie about that too?
The Iliad... huh? Oh so that's why Brad Pit was in that movie...
Eragon... horrible you say?
The Gospel of John... they did? Damn it!

Honestly every good book I've ever read has a movie about it and the movie always ruins the experience.


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## WriterDude (Dec 7, 2007)

* God Emperor of Dune
* The entire Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice (Interview With The Vampire and Queen OfThe Damned was acceptable, but let's not go for a third)
* Shannara-series
* Wheel of Time
* Anything by Frank Miller. Wasn't Sin City and 300 bad enough? I know, they are "Just like the comic books!" So was Batman & Robin... 
* Spectre by Stephen Laws
* Shaman Woods by Morgan Fields (although an army of ghost cowboys fighting and army of ghost indians could be funny to watch)
* Death of Superman
* Batman: Year 1 (I already mentioned Frank Miller, but I don't mind mentioning this again.)
* Any books I've written / is writing / will write.


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## Rahvin (Dec 7, 2007)

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Not because it would make a bad movie, but because every attempt to far has failed miserably. I don't think anyone can/will do it properly.


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## Erik Buchanan (Dec 7, 2007)

lin said:


> Roget's Thesaurus
> 
> The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
> 
> ...



If you do not have the vision to see Cooking with Tofu as a movie, then I feel only pity for you.


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## Mr Sci Fi (Dec 7, 2007)

Mein Kampf.


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## Jocelyn (Dec 7, 2007)

duck said:


> That is easy - Every Stephen King book!


 
As soon as I read the title of this thread, that was the first thing I thought, too.  His books just don't translate well to the big screen.

I recently heard that _The Lovely Bones_ is being made into a movie.  There will be no in between for that movie.  It will either have to be phenomenal or it will fail miserably.


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## Linton Robinson (Dec 8, 2007)

Shining played out pretty well.  Carrie made a lot of money, as I recall.  

Wish they'd do the Dark Tower thing, actually.

(I've never read any King books, though.   I don't like horror and such.)


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## WriterDude (Dec 8, 2007)

How can anyone say Children Of The Corn isn't a great movie? I'm talking only of the first one, of course. The two next are fair enough, but nowhere near the first one. The third one even ended everything, so making part four, five and god knows how many more are pointless. But as for the first one, it's brilliant.

Anyway, other books that shouldn't be turned into movies are Lord Of The Rings, Dragonlance, Eragon, His Dark Material, Wheel Of Time and pretty much any other fantasy novel. It's kinda pointless to keep releasing crap fantasy movies by people who don't even like fantasy with people who don't even like fantasy (Nicole Kidman, for instance, says openly she isn't exactly a big fan of fantasy) just to make money. I wouldn't automatically turn down a Dragonlance movie, but that's just because I keep buying books even after I'm a bit sick of the whole thing just in case I can fall in love with the series again at some point.


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## Mr Sci Fi (Dec 9, 2007)

WriterDude said:


> How can anyone say Children Of The Corn isn't a great movie?


 
I thought you were discredited from any opinions relating to "Good" movies? This comment further stresses the reason for concern.


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## quarterscot (Dec 12, 2007)

_Brick Lane_. Lousy plot only redeemed by being beautifully written. "Hey," cry the geniuses in the British film industry, "Let's turn it into a movie where you'll get none of the beautiful writing and all of the lousy plot."

Personally, I'd like to see Hollywood do _Roget's Thesaurus_ and turn it into a Brad Pitt/Julia Roberts romcom


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## ClancyBoy (Dec 12, 2007)

Rahvin said:


> The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Not because it would make a bad movie, but because every attempt to far has failed miserably. I don't think anyone can/will do it properly.



Ok the movie itself was poopy, but the animated guide excerpts were brilliant.

The Hitchhiker's books _could_ be made into movies if the filmmakers accepted them for what they are and didn't try to make some sort of story out of them.  Plot is completely incidental to the HH books.  It wasn't until the 6th time I read them that I realized they had any plot at all. 

My addition to the thread:
Anything by Marcel Proust.


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## MerryLlama (Dec 24, 2007)

I thought the first hitchhiker's film was ok, admittedly the second was slightly weird. Still I agree that hitchhikers isn't easily translated to a film on account of it not having a strong plot so may be they should just leave it as a book....

I heard they were making a film of the bartimaeus books which might turn out well, or could ruin it...


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## Gabriel Gray (Dec 24, 2007)

i don't think any book shouldn't be made into a movie, fair enough if they cock it up, they could always do it justice.

Though i agree with the wheel of time, that would be a ridiculously long film, which i would unfortunately watch several times, lol.

(oh i do agree with eragorn, lol. dreadful stuff)


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## The Great Wizzard (Dec 24, 2007)

They should try to avoid the Culture novels by Iain M. Banks unless they want slow motion sequences. _Lots_ of slow motion sequences...


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## ClancyBoy (Dec 25, 2007)

MerryLlama said:


> I thought the first hitchhiker's film was ok, admittedly the second was slightly weird.



I'm sorry, what?  There was a second movie?


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## The Backward OX (Dec 25, 2007)

duck said:


> That is easy - Every Stephen King book!


Bullshit. How about _Misery_?


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## strangedaze (Dec 25, 2007)

anything by James Joyce or Virginia Woolf, save for maybe Orlando. Any of Margaret Atwood's non-dystopic novels.


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## ClancyBoy (Dec 25, 2007)

The Backward OX said:


> Bullshit. How about _Misery_?



_The Shining _is a Kubrick film for God's sake.


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## strangedaze (Dec 25, 2007)

Green Mile was pretty decent, too.


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## The Backward OX (Dec 25, 2007)

> Originally Posted by *OX*
> Bullshit. How about _Misery_?





ClancyBoy said:


> _The Shining _is a Kubrick film for God's sake.


 
This is the second time recently I've seen you make unconnected remarks. Have you been forgetting to take your medication?


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## Eli Cash (Dec 26, 2007)

_Infinite Jest_

_Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius_

_Blood Meridian, or The Evening Redness in the West_


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## ClancyBoy (Dec 27, 2007)

The Backward OX said:


> This is the second time recently I've seen you make unconnected remarks. Have you been forgetting to take your medication?



I was agreeing with you.


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## The Backward OX (Dec 27, 2007)

ClancyBoy said:


> I was agreeing with you.


Mmm. So you were. My synapses are really making heavy weather of it these days. Sorry.


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## boongee (Dec 28, 2007)

The Catcher in the Rye. It's not very plot-driven, so I don't think people who haven't read the book would be able to understand, by watching a movie version, why it's such a great story.


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