# Results: Grand Fiction Challenge 2022



## Harper J. Cole (Mar 3, 2022)

It's scores time! I was a little late in posting the *people's choice poll*, so that's actually going to stay open another week, but we can give you your main grades now...


StoryAuthorTheChristianWitnessjenthepenOlly BuckleVrangerBirbAverageIt Smells like Lovebdcharles1317.751515.51114.45The RipperTim1718.251617.512.516.25Can Miracles Happen?Lawless18.517.5161717.517.3*=3*Nomos and Caritaspiperofyork16.75181818.51717.65*2*AI MoralityRiptide16.7518.251617.51416.5Woke and CancelledSueC16.5161716.5141644L-6571Non Serviam19.218171718.517.94*1*The Dublin Boxjenthepen18.5JUDGE1517.519JUDGEQueen of HeartsCyberWar15.7515.751416.51816Mumsnetepimetheus1415.51316.516.515.1Pure RubbishNajaNoir16.5171215.517.515.7RulesJBF11.516.751314.518.514.85Flak in a BoxFoxee16.7516.7518151416.1The Well-being of Conscience CreaturesKeganThompson16.518.51616.51917.3*=3*

So, these are the winners...

1. 44L-6571 by Non Serviam
$100 / Free ebook from Meerkat Press / Plottr license

2. Nomos and Caritas by piperofyork
$40 / Free ebook from Meerkat Press

=3. Can Miracles Happen? by Lawless
$10 / Free ebook from Meerkat Press

=3. The Well-being of Conscience Creatures by KeganThompson
$10 / Free ebook from Meerkat Press

Congratulations to the winners, and many thanks to all who entered! Thanks also to our quintet of magnificent judges. Here are their scores...



Spoiler: TheChristianWitness scores



*#1. It Smells like Love
SPaG: 4.5
T&V: 3.0
Eval: 3.0
Reac: 2.5
Overall: 13.0

There is a lot to unpack here. First, grammatically, your piece very good--nothing to say in that regard. Second, I really did feel like you had vision for this story, but to be honest I didn’t share it. Reading it, I could tell you knew where it was going, but the reader should be less foggy about it. Granted, it could just be my fault for missing things or not reading deep enough into it. It was hard to tell who was speaking, and the importance of each character was unclear. At the end, somebody turned into a zombie—I don’t know who—then Jayant (now a beautiful bovine?) killed the writer, which is supposed to be upsetting, I think.



#2. The Ripper
SPaG: 4.5
T&V: 4.0
Eval: 4.5
Reac: 4.0
Overall: 17.0

The piece here moved very quickly, for which I was grateful. It kept me engaged the whole time easily, and I wanted more at the end rather than being glad it was over. Questions are presented throughout that get the reader thinking. The only problem is that you never answered any of those questions. They were good ones, too. The plot was gory, but exciting, and the surprise ending was baffling, if somewhat expected. I’m assuming he probably became the next victim because he saved the woman (whose name at first understandably, then ironically means “beautiful”) from the thugs and went unsuspectingly to her apartment . . . Quite twisted, but I like the circumstantial irony. Doing all this within the word limit is laudable. The last sentence accomplishes your purpose, but it really is not very logically clear why she kept his driver’s license, since it would have no value to her. One stylistic recommendation I have is to work more with variety. A lot of it was subject+verb+complement. I would work on changing things up, putting a prepositional phrase or clause at the beginning, etc.



#3. Can Miracles Happen?
SPaG: 4.75
T&V: 4.5
Eval: 4.5
Reac: 4.75
Overall: 18.5

What a great piece! I enjoyed the dialogue especially. The fact that you built such a complex, interesting story just using a conversation is amazing. I also liked that you gave two professors with different backgrounds and teaching fields to create an intellectual discussion to go along with the unfolding story. One thing I could mention is that it was hard to tell why you wrote the story. It was good, but I finished up feeling confused as to what you wanted the reader to get out of it. For example, are you advocating for AI evaluation? Are you supporting ethics over logic? Otherwise, terrific job!



#4. Nomos and Caritas
SPaG: 4.75
T&V: 4.0
Eval: 3.5
Reac: 4.5
Overall: 16.75

I loved the deeper thoughts instilled behind the façade of this story. What is morally optimal? How does a being designed to be morally optimal behave when confronted with a morally not optimal life? Actually incredible train of thought. Somewhat confusing, however, was the nature of Nomos. It wasn’t explained very deeply and therefore, the story lost some of its power, especially at the ending. Caritas as well is fascinating to the reader. We never meet “it,” but we do feel a certain empathetic connection that almost makes us agree with Nomos’ actions. Why?—Because we also are in certain torment, living in a morally not optimal place, and we can understand why an emotionless being would have not a single thing to live for. Well thought through and well presented.



#5. AI Morality
SPaG: 4.75
T&V: 4.0
Eval: 4.0
Reac: 4.0
Overall: 16.75

Interesting. Fascinating, actually. You deal well with heavy topics in a light style. Due to the title, I thought Ra and Ro were going to be the ones with the morality, so I was confused for the first half of the story. You might want to look at that again. Otherwise, though, it was pretty good. Your pacing was good, and there wasn’t anything that stood out to mention. A couple of times the descriptions of the scene got a little cloudy and it was hard to imagine what was happening, and the scene change from the first run-through and the revelation that it was a simulation could have happened a little more clearly. Again, I really enjoyed this. The ending with the perpetuity idea really grabbed my imagination.



#6. Woke and Cancelled
SPaG: 4.0
T&V: 4.5
Eval: 4.25
Reac: 3.75
Overall: 16.5

Intriguing. It was a good story, and the way your title holds layers of meaning is right up my alley. Sure, I’m not a supporter of language or vulgarity in writing, but you definitely crafted something significantly impressive here. The biggest problem I have with it is the conclusion. You never told us why Dad reacted that way at the end? Are we to believe it was because Argyle gave bad moral advice? Or is it because Dad was upset with Ben? Or was it because he didn’t want Argyle taking his place as the moral head of the family? I’m not clear on what you intended. It did come across very strongly, though, and I enjoyed the read.



#7. 44L-6571
SPaG: 4.95
T&V: 4.5
Eval: 4.75
Reac: 5.0
Overall: 19.2

Amazing! Absolutely terrific. Best one so far. What an ending too. The two adults arguing with a computer and each other while the child makes the moral decision that they couldn’t bring themselves to make. The child ends up making the decision that the computer first suggested, and both adults rejected. That’s really thought-provoking. I loved the humor of the computer too. This was the best line: “Are you going to ask me to redesign my ethics module when I come up with an answer you don’t like? Because the ethics module is evaluating that as problematic.” Love it!



#8. The Dublin Box
SPaG: 4.0
T&V: 4.75
Eval: 4.75
Reac: 5.0
Overall: 18.5

Wow! I think I’ve said wow to the last several, each for different reasons. I feel like there is something priceless about basing a theoretical/fantastical/barely real life relatable on a fascinating dialectical pun. Bringing the attention-getter at the beginning back around at the end was terrific. And the characters! They were so relatable. I loved them. Unfortunately, I could not score you higher than this because of several spelling errors and sticky mechanical accidents (almost “happy” but not quite). I’m just floored at the quality here. Well, well done!



#9. Queen of Hearts
SPaG: 4.0
T&V: 4.0
Eval: 4.0
Reac: 3.75
Overall: 15.75

The most engaging part of this story is the narrative style. The first-person perspective keeps the reader in suspense. I enjoyed that part of it immensely. There were a few problems with the spelling and mechanics that could have been fixed with a little more editing. Thankfully, it wasn’t anything too terrible. The ending was a little underwhelming, compared to what it could have been. I didn’t understand what the last paragraph was supposed to mean. I have my guesses and my own opinions as to how the story should end, but you could have made your ending a little more airtight. Otherwise, the theme of the story was both well thought out and engaging. I appreciated the twists and turns.



#10. Mumsnet
SPaG: 4.25
T&V: 3.5
Eval: 3.0
Reac: 3.25
Overall: 14.0

This is the first story in a while that hasn’t brought up artificial intelligence. You got close with neuro-technology. Anyway, your best quality here was the expression of the mother’s emotions. I didn’t exactly see how the story related to the prompt, however, which makes my reaction low. Your purpose throughout this story was very unclear as well. Other than a few errors in spelling or grammar/mechanics, there wasn’t too much else to mention. Great job!



#11. Pure Rubbish
SPaG: 4.0
T&V: 4.0
Eval: 4.0
Reac: 4.5
Overall: 16.5

Very curious. This may have been the first story I’ve ever read where the human characters are completely discredited. I would like to know more specifically what happened at the end of this story. It was a little unclear. Your dialogue was impressively smooth as well. I enjoyed that aspect. I would work on making it a little more believable. It was not relatable. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t an enjoyable read though, and you definitely got my attention with the ending. Curious. PS: Good title.



#12. Rules
SPaG: 2.5
T&V: 3.5
Eval: 3.0
Reac: 2.5
Overall: 11.5

The greatest strength of this story was the richness of verbal creativity and vocabulary. However, I have to admit I was lost. The pace of the story was confusing, and the lack of explicit explanation as to the plot and circumstances surrounding it, I couldn’t really decipher what was going on. Especially for a short read, I think that’s very important. Character interactions were also muddling. Some SPaG mistakes were a little too much for me to overlook. I honestly believe this could be a great story, but it needs some work to make it to the next level.



#13. Flak in a Box
SPaG: 4.5
T&V: 4.0
Eval: 4.0
Reac: 4.25
Overall: 16.75

I was very interested by your character portrayals. I could see them both in my mind very clearly, even if perhaps it wasn’t exactly the same as what you intended to portray. Their dialogue was very telling. I appreciated the light-heartedness of the piece as well. I guess the biggest things I have to say is that you could have a little more direction. Keep the reader more intrigued as well as interested. Add some kind of destination to the story so that we don’t lose interest. Then finish it a little stronger. What it felt like was that you showed the reader a few minutes of a universe, without context at beginning or end. Your story’s “line” was straight all the way through. If you could make the “line” more like a parabola than a ruler (rise and fall in action/intensity/plot), this would be a stunning story.



#14. The Well-being of Conscience Creatures
SPaG: 3.5
T&V: 4.0
Eval: 4.5
Reac: 4.5
Overall: 16.5

So did our main character here kill the girl? I think so. I liked the way your story built. It started mildly, with a little bit of interesting information to keep us curious. Then you went on to something a little deeper. I was expecting it to be some kind of murder/horror drama, but you turned it into an ethically/morally rich piece. Naturally, you left some questions open ended at the end. A lot of times that doesn’t work, especially if you didn’t intend for the main character to have murdered the girl. For some reason, that is the only conclusion that satisfies me at the moment. The only big thing is all the little punctuation and mechanics or word substitution errors that distracted from the rest of the narrative. Very well done!*





Spoiler: jenthepen scores



*It Smells Like Love*

*SpaG: 4.25 
T&V: 5
Evaluation: 4
Reaction: 4.5

TOTAL: 17.75*

The device of using a witness to describe events is really effective here. I enjoyed the selection of characters too. All that, coupled with the good vocabulary and clever descriptions, make this is an accomplished piece of writing. I found a few misplaced commas, and a missing word – _I’ve heard it sighted on Lewer Road._ I also noted the lack of quotation marks around the speeches. Maybe this is a stylistic thing but it was a bit of a distraction for me.

You have so much information to get across that it would have been easy to lose the reader in the complexity, but that didn’t happen because the narrator was a strong character but I do feel the short word-count worked against a piece that had a big back-story to explain. The prompt also felt a bit forced. I couldn’t help thinking that it would have worked better, from the prompt point of view, if Jayant had inhaled morality vibes rather than love.

Overall, reading this story was like sitting around a campfire with a seasoned storyteller and that made it enjoyable. The world-weary character of the narrator was just perfect. Some of the descriptive passages are inspired – especially the condemnation of blackbirds nodding – I loved that! The ending, though, felt a little disappointing and didn’t seem to change the status quo very much.


*Ripper*

*SpaG: 4.25
T&V: 4.5
Evaluation: 4.5
Reaction:5

Total: 18.25*

Lots of good descriptive passages around the activity on the train and I thought the fight sequence was especially believable. The prompt felt a bit elbowed in but it was there.

There seemed an excessive use of the Oxford comma – most times _and_ and _but_ don’t need to be followed by a comma. There is also an unnecessary apostrophe – _Andy’s grimaced_ which was probably an oversight of the editing process. Also, in this sentence: The woman was athletic and attractive, fetching a towel for Andy. She dumped her handbag….. I think the comma and the full stop should be exchanged.

The tone felt a little utilitarian – a steady progression – whereas a memorable descriptive passage or bit of humour could have made all the difference. I understand the difficulty, though, with such a small word count.

Other than the small glitches dealt with already, this was an enjoyable read and hung together as a well-rounded story. You jumped right in at the most impactful point and built from there with fear, tension and panic, keeping me anxious to see where all this would lead. After the fight, I thought the ending would be an anticlimax but you had an ace up your sleeve and finished on a high, with the main character left to his fate with the serial killer.



*Can Miracles Happen?*

*SpaG: 5
T&V: 4
Evaluation: 4.75
Reaction: 3.75

Total:17.5 *

This is a professional, quality piece of writing. I struggled to find any technical problems at all. I did notice the word guaranteedly which doesn’t sound quite right – surely it should be guaranteed? Anyway, since it came as part of a character’s speech, there is no justification to remove points for it. The tone was consistent and steady throughout but a little dry. Maybe the need to make the arguments of the story made it impossible to humanise the characters too much within the word-count?

You have certainly made the prompt the central theme of your story and wrapped it up in a conversation between two academic professionals, which is the perfect device for a story of this type. It felt like a believable difference of opinion and the result from the Supreme Judge, when it came, seemed perfectly plausible, given the modern appetite for public engagement in legal matters.

This was an immaculate piece of writing. Although, I did get the feeling that the author had picked a side and was using the characters to make it, and that distracted me from the story somewhat.



*Nomos and Caritas*

*SpaG: 5
T&V: 4.75
Evaluation: 4.5
Reaction: 3.75

Total: 18*

If there are any SPaG problems here, I didn’t find them. You have created a consistent tone and voice that fits well with the futuristic, robot-managed environment of the story.

This is a story based on quite a deep philosophical idea, which took a lot of plotting to make it understandable to the general reader (i.e. me) so the fact that I finally got the message is a credit to your clear writing.

I had to read through the passages about ‘regret’ several times before I got the idea how this version of artificial morality was bound to fail. I appreciated the cleverness of the story but it didn’t rate so highly on the entertainment scale. Reaction is very subjective and, for me, this one was a bit too much hard work.



*AI Morality*

*SPaG: 5
T&V: 4.5
Evaluation: 4.25
Reaction: 4.5

Total: 18.25*

This is a story that explores the burden of free will and morality. It’s easy to imagine a human having to deal with the impossible choice that Gator faces and it works to make the reader think. The story felt a bit slow at the start and took a while to get going. With such a short story, the long intro made the piece feel a little lopsided. It is, though, a smooth read that manages to make the supernatural feel very believable.

I quite enjoyed the ‘puzzle’ posed by the moral dilemma but it lacked originality in that respect. On the other hand, the vehicle used - an encounter with good and evil - was inspired. This made it difficult to judge as it was a story of two parts in that respect. Overall, I enjoyed the read.



*Woke and Cancelled*

*SPaG: 4.75
T&V: 4.5 
Evaluation: 3.5
Reaction: 3.25

Total: 16*


This is a gentle family story with some good characterisation. I couldn’t find much to worry about with the SPaG but I did noticed this: “Ben, what’s a ‘moral dilemma? It’s mentioned in the manual.” The corresponding inverted comma is missing after moral dilemma.

The story is told from the point of view of the daughter and that personality was captured well, making the narration feel believable. Maybe because of this viewpoint, though, the story felt unnecessarily wordy with all the details of family life and that compromised the possibility of more drama that could have made for a more riveting story.

I like the idea behind this story and I enjoyed parts of it but I felt the ending was a bit of an anti-climax. I wanted to see the result of removing the morality chip – an amoral robot set loose amongst the family could have been amazing. I think it would have been worth tightening the rest of the story in order to have enough words left to make the ending pop.




*44L-6571*

*SPaG: 4.75
T&V: 4.5
Evaluation: 4.5
Reaction: 4.25

Total: 18*


A nice twist on the old moral dilemma of ‘who should die in this situation’ and it is very well-argued. It is a pretty immaculate piece of writing but I noticed the final inverted commas missing here: “Oh, no,” said Ed. _“You from Ryugu Base, kid? _ Also, I don’t think you need both Corporation and Inc.

Even though the piece was virtually all conversation, it felt absolutely right for this story and I enjoyed the interaction of the crew with the computer, which showcased the writer’s subtle humour and knowledge of ethics.

Although the situation was unusual and well-worked, I felt the moral dilemma wasn’t original enough to make the story pop and the title didn’t really work to pull the reader in..

Having said all that, I enjoyed the read and maybe that’s the point of any story.




*Mumsnet*

*SPaG: 4.75
T&V: 4
Evaluation: 3.25
Reaction: 3.5

Total: 15.5*

I think this story captures the feelings of pregnancy and a new mother’s hopes and fears quite well but the connection to the prompt is a little loose and the story itself feels a bit like a journal. For me, the many very short, choppy sentences hurt the flow of the story but, otherwise, the grammar and punctuation seemed good.

My thought is that this story would have worked better written in the first person, because Mary’s thoughts and experiences could then have been expressed directly and that would have added a lot of power. Since she is the only character, with others only referenced, this story lends itself to first person/present tense perfectly.

Although a lot of effort has obviously been put into explaining and expressing the thoughts of the main character, the opportunity to show the moral effects of this implanted technology did not quite come through.

This was an interesting idea but I think it needed a bit more drama to work well as a story.



*Pure Rubbish

SPaG: 4.25
T&V: 4.5
Evaluation: 4
Reaction:4.25

Total: 17*

This is a neat idea – human selfish immorality leading to a takeover by artificial intelligence with superior morality. I noticed a few superfluous commas and three instances of unnecessary full stops dividing single sentences into two parts but, otherwise, the SPaG seemed ok.

I liked the way you introduced this story; it felt light-hearted and slightly tongue-in-cheek. If the narration had continued in this way, I think it would have strengthen the story but, as it was, some of the human interactions seemed a bit formal which worked to blur the difference between humans and TAKs.

A bit of tightening of the first part of the story would have left more words to explore the drama of the return of all the rubbish.

I enjoyed the idea of this story but was left feeling slightly disappointed that the message wasn’t hammered home more effectively.




*Rules*

*SPaG: 3.75
T&V: 4.75
Evaluation: 4.25
Reaction: 4

Total: 16.75*

This is a gritty story of war and retribution and the writer has captured the point-of-view of the narrator in a very believable way.

Some of the sentences are very long and would be more powerful, I think, if broken into shorter pieces of information. I don’t think the lack of commas detracted from the sense of the story but it did make the narrative feel a bit breathless at times. Also, I think leeched is the wrong word here. It should be leached, meaning ‘drained’ as opposed to the creatures ‘leeches’ and it should be _practise_ and not _practice_.

Despite the difficulties that the SPaG threw up, I found the tone and voice a perfect vehicle for this story. Of its type, this story works well and does illustrate the false or artificial morality that humans employ to justify their violence.

Although this is not the type of story I would normally go for, I can appreciate the skill of the writer in creating a believable and vibrant atmosphere.





*Flak in a Box*

*SPaG: 4.75
T&V: 4
Evaluation:4
Reaction: 4

Total: 16.75*

This is a clever interpretation of the prompt, where artificially-sustained human brains are taking all the decisions and making the moral judgements.

One or two conjoined words that should be hyphenated but, overall, a pretty immaculate piece of writing. There was a lot of techie stuff to explain and the writer made a valiant effort to lighten the narrative with a humorous slant but, despite this, I found it a bit heavy to read. I’m not sure all the explanation was needed. Maybe a snappier presentation could have better showcased the twist at the end, when we discover that The Brains are being kept alive artificially.

I found some parts of the story a bit dry. The shots at humour were good but the story really came to life, for me, with the interaction between Elvis and Dimples. Maybe, between them, they could have carried the whole story?



*The well-being of conscience creatures*​
*SPaG: 4
T&V: 5
Evaluation: 4.75
Reaction: 4.75

Total: 18.5*

This is a gripping story that left me wanting to know more. The SPaG was immaculate for the first part but then problems began popping up, either as a result of editing, or maybe rushing to get to the end.

‘_she was sleeping so, I didn’t really hit me’_ Should be _it_ not _I.
“She didn’t look like she was sleeping.” I wish she did. _If the final sentence is not part of his speech, it should be I _wished_ she did.

“_Oh," she signed, tilting her head._ Should be sighed.

The emotions were underplayed and this left room for the reader to discover the characters for herself. I also liked the fact that the message was a denial of the possibility of the artificiality of morality.

The author has a professional approach that puts the reader straight into the heart of the story from the beginning and, apart from the SPaG issues, this is a good, publishable short story.




*Queen of Hearts* 

*SPaG: 3.75
T&V: 4
Evaluation: 4.25
Reaction: 3.75

Total: 15.75*

This is a clever and convincing argument for allowing artificial morality in machines, all wrapped up in a memoir-type presentation. There are quite a lot of long sentences with few commas and that made it difficult to read without having to pause and check on what exactly was being said. There is good progression but it does come across more as a report than a short story.

Overall, there are some interesting elements and the idea behind the story is good but I missed the emotional drama that a different presentation could have made.





Spoiler: Olly Buckle scores



It Smells Like Love

SPaG 4
T+V 4
Eval. 3
React.4
total 15

A bronzen sky and a ferrous sky, what happened to leaden? 
Hosts. Humours. Moods. Ghosts. Nebulous lifeforms, strange vapours
This is a list and wants commas throughout. Take a tip from Paradise Lost, "Rocks, Caves, Lakes, Fens, Bogs, Dens and shades of Death." Milton keeps the capital letters, but makes it heavy and impressive with stressed single syllables. Three spondees to start!
"Jayant has her nasty theories but that’s her"
'But' almost always takes a comma before it.
" you can motivate yourself from what you don’t want, for a short bit. But it doesn’t last. "
And I would never use it to start a sentence, even a tautological one.
' you can motivate yourself from what you don’t want, but it doesn’t last. '
Not sure you really met the brief, it is not an easy one, but I did like that the mechanical 'Fed' is a 'Her

Ripper

SPaG 4
T+V 4
Eval. 4
React. 4
Total 14

The effect of short sentences and paragraphs is lost when you keep doing it, and I don't like that you start a couple with 'And' and 'Or'
"The woman was athletic and attractive, fetching a towel for Andy. She dumped her handbag on the coffee table, turned the TV on, stuck out her hand and said, “My name’s Bonita.” "
Sentence structure, why does fetching a towel make her athletic and attractive?
The woman was athletic and attractive. Fetching a towel for Andy she dumped her handbag on the coffee table, turned the TV on, stuck out her hand and said, “My name’s Bonita.”
Bringing in the 'Artificial morality' feels a bit forced, but I like the twist at the end.

Can Miracles Happen?

SPaG 5
T+V 4
Eval. 4
React. 3
Total 16

I find it difficult to believe even coloured lights would be 'cozy' on an open hillside.
" Benjamin Powell, the Professor of Logic, and Ellen Lewis, the Professor of Ethics, were having dinner."
Putting the definite article inside the commas makes it look like part of the title, in which case it should also have a capital letter, You do it again toward the end, not exactly a SPaG fault worth marking down, but you could save yourself four words to go toward some personal description, which I felt lacking.
' Benjamin Powell, Professor of Logic, and Ellen Lewis, Professor of Ethics, were having dinner.'
You met the brief well, I am sorry you failed to excite me.

Nomos and Caritas
SPaG 5
T+V 4
Eval. 4
React. 5
Total 18

A well written story. I had a clear idea of the human characters from their actions and reactions, it met the brief well. There are places where you could lose a few words,
"Dr. Iris and Mr. Moore were waiting for Nomos in the nursery front office. Dr. Iris was seated at a small desk, busy with her tablet. Mr. Moore was pacing near a sand garden."
'Dr. Iris and Mr. Moore were waiting for Nomos in the nursery front office. Dr. Iris seated at a desk, busy with her tablet. Mr. Moore pacing near a sand garden.'
but it is hard to see what you would do with them.

AI Morality

SPaG 5
T+V 4
Eval 3
React 4
Total 16

There are issues in the conversation, but that is permissible, people don't talk in perfect grammar.
By my reckoning
"Just a wires and bolts AI. But I am troubled",
should be,
'Just a wires and bolts AI, but I am troubled',
and,
“That there is your intent."
'There is your intent'
It also looks as though you missed a couple of small words,
"He tapped at the table made of /an/ ancient tree, ?
"who scooped them /up/ and poured them into her coffee. ?
Though it does sort of work without them.
More seriously there are inconsistencies, they saw the train from the outside, they should have known it was a simulation. They were thrown through the screen, but it was back projecting the face again.
For me the Devil, Angel stuff was unnecessary and unconvincing, but otherwise it was well told and certainly met the brief well.

WOKE and CANCELLED

SPaG 5
T+V 4
Eval 4
React 4
Total 17

The perspective through the eye of a younger sister was subtly well done.
Some of the sentence structures struck me as convoluted, with too many ideas,

“I’d welcome an extra set of hands,” Mom said with a smile as she began to clear up the cardboard mess. A small, heart-shaped packet fell out of the pile in her arms onto the floor.
I'll split the ideas.
“I’d welcome // an extra set of hands,”// Mom said// with a smile// as she began to clear up// the cardboard mess.// A small, heart-shaped packet // fell out // of the pile in her arms // onto the floor.
Most people happily process between three and five bites of information, That puts the second sentence at the top end of the comfort zone, and the first just over it.
Identifying the ideas gives you clues where you can split them into sentences best, and possibly re-order them.,
Starting to clear up // she said // could do with a hand // arms full // heart package // fell out
Not saying it should be that way, just it makes alternatives easy to consider.

44L-6571

SPaG 5
T+V 3
Eval. 4
React. 5

A neat set up,in the basic premise. Slight problem here,
" We’ve got a small fuel supply for the manoeuvre jets, but all the fuel that launched us is back on Ryugu station. Tugs will take us in when we get to Luna.”
The fuel is not back on the station, it was used up in the launch, I think what you mean is 'Ryugu only supplies enough fuel for launch. Tugs take us in when we get to Luna."
The message from the legal dept. also struck me as too definite,
"The Corporation is not responsible for the stowaway ... Because the Corporation is not responsible ..."
Try
'The corporation disclaims all responsibility for the presence of the stowaway and consequences or harm arising from their presence. We further feel it would be inappropriate ...'
Those sort of people never admit anything or say anything they can be pinned down on.
Telling the computer to take short cuts is an excellent idea, simplifying their response.
A neat, well rounded, complete story.

The Dublin Box

SPag 5
T+V 3
Eval. 3
React. 4
Total 15

Dublin box, doubling box is nice. Practise/practice is the only SPag I can see. You dismiss the brief in the first few lines, "'Just a title' and really don't make any reference to artificial morality again. On the first reading I found some of your sentences long and/or confusing. I think considering the relative importance of the ideas and what goes with what might help.
"The man fidgeted under the dealer’s gaze, honed through long years of practise to exert the maximum discomfort."
that doesn't feel comfortable, consider,
'"The man fidgeted under a gaze designed to exert maximum discomfort, and honed through long years of practice."
You are not 'Wrong', but the fidgeting and discomfort shouldn't be separated so much, and we know it is Jack's look.

"Chocolate was a rare commodity at the time" Your character doesn't talk like that, "Chocolate was scarce then. would ring truer, and I would grab the opportunity to wonder where he got it.

"Twin judges of the morality of man, represented in every religion on Earth."
A sweeping statement that my mind instantly rejected, Something vaguer such as 'Represented in many places' wouldn't make that distraction.

Mumsnet

SPaG 4
T+V 3
Eval. 3
React. 3
Total 13

"Swole" I had never come across this and checked it out on Google. There was one dictionary that gave it in the sense that you used as dialect, the others only gave it as meaning a developed male body, from working out with weights
Lamarck was about evolution. Pre-Darwin he thought that positive input from the ancestor led to change in the descendants, they aimed for an advantage. Darwin's insight was that evolution was random, the advantage wasn't aimed for, but it improved survival rates. I can see that an advantage given by artificial genetic manipulation that was inheritable is not Darwinian, but neither is it truly Lamarckian.
It is still an interesting story. My problem is seeing what it has to do with artificial morality. Is it the little bit about protesters? The innate immorality of the artificial as some see it?

This I didn't get,
"One Sunday afternoon Mary felt a bowel muscle give up; she flopped down on the couch with a backend burp and it didn’t get back up with her."

Queen of Hearts

SPaG 4
T+V 3
Eval. 3
React.4
Total 14

First sentences are important.
"Anyone born sometime during the past 30 years doesn’t think much" As a 78 year old fogey I would agree  but that is not what you meant, try 'Doesn't consider consequences'; and that 'sometime' is redundant, 'during does the job.

Conjunctions, they conjoin things, so it is usually inappropriate to start a sentence with them. 19th century grammars would have said 'Never appropriate'. times change, but it is still worth considering.
"To the younger generations, self-aware robots and computers with personalities are a natural part of life that pretty much everyone takes for granted, but it wasn’t always that way."
It really is all one sentence, like my 'still worth considering. 'Pretty much everyone' is more than 'The younger generation. ''...part of life they take for granted", simple, clean and accurate ,without obfuscation. You were close to the word limit, and tbh it doesn't exactly jump of the page, a few spare words and you might get some human heroics in.

Commas; One of the places for commas is either side of subordinate phrases, A subordinate phrase is one which you can take out of a sentence and still leave a meaningful sentence behind. The old saw about a comma being a shorter pause than a period is only partly true Try this without 'Thankfully' or "Under all necessary security measures"
"The mainframe was (comma) thankfully (comma) still largely intact, so booting it up (comma) under all necessary security measures (comma) wasn’t an issue"
It still makes perfect sense, and notice that you can read the whole thing with, or without, pauses.

Sorry to say I thought "The computer thinks it's playing a game" well before you told me

Pure Rubbish

SPaG 4
T+V 2
Eval. 3
React.3
Total 12

Back in the day when there were real trade unions there were union leaders who had climbed from ill educated working class backgrounds and tried to make their pronouncements sound better with phrases like "At this present moment in time" in place of "Now",
Your opening paragraph has a touch of that about it., try,
"In the future, though not as far as you might think, man and machine will regard each other as equals. They will sit on a council where man offers up solutions and machine advises him on them.".
I know those old grammar books say 'one' is correct, 'you' incorrect, but do you know anyone who uses it in everyday life?
" While man will of course, still be known as man. One such man among them is named Finley Ferguson."
Still doing it, it tends to hide things like the jump in tense. Read what I said about punctuating subordinate phrases in 'Queen of hearts'
"Man will, of course, still be known as 'man'; one of them will be Finley Ferguson."
This is a competition with a limited word count, don't waste words, then you might be able to tell us more about the transportation system, or the beings that returned the rubbish.

Rules

SPaG 4
T+V 2
Eval 3
React. 4
Total 13


Some minutes earlier the warrant officer had ducked into the alley and sheltered the flame of a battered Zippo lighter, though not until the cherry built on the end of his cigarette did he consider the captives.
Why 'Though'? '...lighter. Not until ... ' seems more reasonable.
A loose dozen, they squatted with bound hands in the lee of miscolored brick under the watch of a two troopers
Were they loose, or bound? Was it a trooper, or two?

with slung rifles, drawn, dirty faces turned to the low silvered belly of the clouds or bent low to dark gumbo earth in whispered prayer.
Only at the point where they whisper prayer do I realise it is not the trooper's dirty faces turned to the sky or ground.
At the end, the palest of faces in the lineup raised his eyes.
Palest of 'The' faces, or it is the palest of all faces, who happened to be in the lineup



The WO squatted, shifting unevenly in the shell of his flak jacket. He settled the angular form of a submachine gun across his knees to keep it from the mud and gave no answer.

Paleface grinned and tossed his head. Smoke?

The battalion aid detachment filtered out with their medicines and the troopers lazed and flirted with the girls and the colonel and his staff met with the local government, and after the formalities the infantry saddled up and the armor moved out in a haze of diesel smoke while children ran alongside shrieking and waving for candy or pieces of chewing gum.
That is some sentence, with four 'And's' and a 'While'. Replacing some of them with punctuation could save you still more words, and make it more readable

It was Thursday now.

Thursday, and the mayor and the chief of police and their families lay in a half-flooded ditch north of town with arms cinched behind their backs and eyes dull and unseeing and their lifeblood leeched into the trench where they breathed their last.

When first he had seen the ditch he did not register that those shapes within had been human once.
Why do people start using this sort of language when they write?
When he first saw the ditch he didn't register the shapes in it had once been human.
'That' is always worth looking at, you can often lose it, and it is often associated with other poor wording. Same goes for 'had' , but a little less so.

And the WO with his cigarette and his submachine gun and muddy boots, and under his flak vest, stitched to the breast of his uniform blouse, the muted patch of an army pilot’s wings.
Try making lists with commas, you even started this sentence with 'and'. On another note it would be good not to have so much between the flak jacket and the wings, 'Stitched to the vest of his uniform blouse' could go on the end and make it a bit more readable.

I ain’t giving you any.
American? The captive perked. I went to school in America.
Not to mine.
Heh! A sense of humor! One of Reagan’s finest, come with a cowboy hat and a machine gun to save his poor brown brothers. But only for good pay, eh? Liberty, equality, fraternity! What shit. Tell me, Americano…do you know the difference in war and revolution? A war is among equals. A revolution is the powerless against the powerful. And in revolution, the only order is to win. You see, the worker -
The hell do you know about it?

How about some "Quotation marks" when people speak

It is not a bad story, but 'Rules' are not the same as 'Morality', and the immorality is all too human rather than artificial. I can't see it really meets the brief.

Flak in a Box

SPaG 5
T+V 5
Eval. 4
React.4
Total 18

Not a lot for me to crit here, but I did notice this,
" Cabling thicker than a man's thumb wound through each spine, made of a mass of hair-thin fiberoptic strands and silvery nutrient feeds."
One of my favourite injunctions, 'Put the things together that go together' It is the cabling that is made of fibre optic strands and silvery nutrient feeds, not the spine they run through.
I can't say I found Elvis or Dimples attractive, but I don't think they were aimed at me. I did appreciate the contrast between the physical desires of the operatives and the esoteric function of their charges. The morality itself is not artificial,, but I feel I am picking nits.

The well-being of conscience creatures

SPaG. 4
T+V. 4
Eval. 4
React. 4
Total. 16

." I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, but alcohol really did loosen your lips."
A nit; I know you are in past tense, but "alcohol does loosen your lips" is a general statement covering past and present, I would stick with it unless he got specific and said something like "Alcohol did loosen my lips"

I find it a good story, but difficult to find it really meets the brief. She mentions that some think morality is artificial, but he has seen what he has seen and knows there is good and evil, or evil at least, so that is denying its artificiality. It is not made up, it exists in itself.

“Oh," she signed, tilting her head. “Are you a moral subjectivist then?”
Why 'signed', for a moment I thought, 'Have I missed something, are they deaf?"





Spoiler: Vranger scores



*“It Smells Like Love”*

SPAG 5.0
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 3.0
Reaction 3.0
*Total 15.5*

I think the piece itself is a brilliant concept, and beautifully written. However, I think this story may need 5000 words and is too ambition for 1000 words … because I simply never felt grounded in the characters, the setting, or the action. Adding to that, the prompt never jumped out at me. I’d love to see this again fully fleshed out.

*“Ripper”*

SPAG 5.0
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 4.0
Reaction 4.0
*Total 17.5*

Here we have a blunt, raw, action story with a twist. The story is engaging and well told. I liked the twist, even though it’s a touch derivative. ;-) I got the prompt strongly coming from this one. Great marks for the writing and the prompt, just a bit of a ding for the derivative twist, but entertaining. Nice job.

*“Can Miracles Happen?”*

SPAG 4.5
T&V 4.0
Evaluation 4.5
Reaction 4.0
*Total 17.0*

Overall, a very good story. One ding on SPAG for what looked to me like a pluralization goof. The prompt was well in evidence. The only thing that pulled it down for me was the emotional punch … meaning I expected more Ooomph from the ending. Maybe something like “the vigilante may be applauded, but must be willing to sacrifice himself in a good cause”. Anyway, I can’t write my own ending to it, but I expected something in the way of an extra edge there I thought the story needed.

*“Nomos and Caritas”*

SPAG 5.0
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 4.5
Reaction 4.5
*Total 18.5*

Bingo for the prompt, and kudos for a brilliantly conceived story. The outlandish scenario grounded me quickly in its world, held my interest, and provided a strong ending. Several stories in and I’ve seen nothing yet but superior writing. I’m proud of this site and stories like this one.

*“AI Morality”*

SPAG 4.0
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 4.5
Reaction 4.5
*Total 17.5*

A couple of comma issues and a slip on verb tense hit the SPAG. Otherwise, this was a delightful story, and I loved the realization the PoV characters were the Angel and Devil on the shoulders. (I just made a joke about that a few days ago. LOL) The idea they might be trapped in the train AI’s simulation indefinitely amused me, as did much of the story.

*“Woke and CANCELLED”*

SPAG 4.5
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 4.0
Reaction 4.0
*Total 16.5*

A couple of semi-colons that looked better as period dinged SPAG. (Know your judges … this one is hard on semi-colons ;-) ). The Artificial part of the prompt seems to have brought a plethora of AIs so far, which is fun for a sci-fi fan to judge. I’d have liked to get to know Argyle a bit more in this story. I wasn’t so sure of the father’s reaction to Argyle’s answers as opposed to giving Ben a stern lecture. However, overall really an entertaining story.

*“44L-6571”*

SPAG 4.5
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 4.0
Reaction 4.0
*Total 17.0*

An AI twist on the lifeboat dilemma.  Unfortunately, the stowaway on a spaceship is another story I’ve seen before handled very similarly, and that was a tug against Reaction. However, the turns in the dialogue were fascinating, and the ending had a twist. In the end, the poor kid would have had to be returned to the place he hated, so all for the best, and no doubt a much more entertaining ride for the two left. ;-)

*“The Dublin Box”*

SPAG 4.5
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 4.0
Reaction 4.5
*Total 17.5*

Cool little story that sounds like the beginning of a longer story, and it should be a good one. I thought the connection to the prompt a bit tenuous. The “Dublin Box” to “Doubling Box” was cute.  Comma needing a period on a quote was the SPAG ding.

*“Queen of Hearts”*

SPAG 5.0
T&V 4.0
Evaluation 4.0
Reaction 3.5
*Total 16.5*

This is well written technically, and the story is interesting. The bold decision to write it in this structure became both a plus and a minus for me. It was written as a report, and it read like a report, which worked for me right up to the ending, as that read like the conclusion of a report rather than a striking ending for a story … which brought down my reaction score. This is one of many stories I’ve read over my months of judging which could benefit from being expanded.

*“Mumsnet”*

SPAG 4.5
T&V 4.0
Evaluation 4.5
Reaction 3.5
*Total 16.5*

One pluralization problem, but nice clean writing and an interesting premise. However, it didn’t bring quite enough story with it for top marks. I did like it.

*“Pure Rubbish”*

SPAG 4.0
T&V 4.0
Evaluation 4.0
Reaction 3.5
*Total 15.5*

SPaG was held down by a couple of awkward sentences, a sentence fragment that shouldn’t have been one, and at least one verb tense at odds with the rest of the story. These were spaced out through the story enough that just when I was getting back into it, another one came up … and that held down my reaction score.

*“Rules”*

SPAG 3.5
T&V 4.0
Evaluation 3.0
Reaction 4.0
*Total 14.5*

Evocatively written, but I felt waylaid by too many runaway sentences. Plus I’d have liked a bit more grounding in where and what we were reading about … other than the general sense. The sentences drug on SPaG, and that drug on my reaction score. I also penalized Evaluation by a point for the entry not being anonymous (member name included in the entry) when the rules stated “All entries anonymous.” I didn’t feel that should DQ the entry, but there had to be a penalty for that. :-(

*“Flak in a box”*

SPAG 5.0
T&V 3.5
Evaluation 3.5
Reaction 3.0
*Total 15.0*

I just never got hooked into this story. I think it threw ideas in too many directions without settling on one theme to carry it in the brief 1000 words. Individually, the sentences were well-written and often evocative, but never felt cohesive.

*“The well-being of conscience creatures”*

SPAG 4.5
T&V 4.5
Evaluation 4.0
Reaction 4.0
*Total 16.5*

SPaG dinged on a couple of places where sentences got spliced together with commas where a period needed to live. The sad and melancholy tone swelled up and right out of this piece. Very well written. The only drawback to me was the feeling it was a bit too snipped out of what should be a longer story, with more on both ends.





Spoiler: birb scores



It Smells Like Love

SPaG 4/5

Tone and Voice 3/5

Evaluation 3/5

Reaction 1/5

Overall: 11

Review: It smells like love was a tough story for me to read. It is written well, for the most part, but a couple of glaring issues stick out to me. First and foremost, the narrator is never clear. I feel like it is hard to follow this piece. Is the narrator a character, an omnipotent, who is I? Additionally, small details like the fact that “dismals” is lowercase. If it is an entity or some other type of thing that turns people into these “zombies” it’d be a noun…I had to reread the first sentence a few times because it had me tripped up.

Overall, technically well written, but I feel lost while reading it. Thank you for sharing!



Ripper

SPaG 3.5/5

Tone and Voice 4/5

Evaluation 4/5

Reaction 1/5

Overall: 11.5

Review: Ripper is an interesting piece held back by some relatively glaring errors. There are quite a few errors involving commas, which dropped the SPaG score, in addition to the situation coming across as generally unbelievable to me. As someone who studies psychology, hearing the phrase “My bystander effect kicked it” pulled me directly out of the story (That’s not how it works). Otherwise, I was generally confused by what was going on in the story. Did our main character murder the first man? We are told directly by the narrator that the man was dead before he got there, which is a little too direct of a statement for an unreliable narrator. It just felt like fact. After that, how did our narrator end up acquiring the license? Was our narrator the murderer? It’s too hard to tell, at least for me personally. Thanks for sharing!



Can Miracles Happen?

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 4/5

Evaluation 4/5

Reaction 4.5/5

Overall:17.5

Review: This was a very interesting story. You do a good job of setting up the world in a natural way without making it sound silly. I believe that these people are talking about this thing that very much could have happened. The dialogue and characters are strong, and I didn’t catch any glaring SPaG issues (though, that’s not my strong suit). The only thing that lost you points was overusing both of the character’s names in their dialogue. We know both of their names, as well as their stances and personalities. Hopefully they do as well. Them referring to each other by name so consistently in their dialogue started to wear on an otherwise good interaction. Good job, Thank you for sharing!



Nomos and Caritas

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 5/5

Evaluation 4/5

Reaction 3/5

Overall: 17

Review: Interesting story with an interesting premise. The world doesn’t feel fake, and I can believe that this happened. The, what I assume are, robotic character feels robotic and it does a good job of bringing a couple of good questions to light. What would a presumably non-human entity perceive as a reasonable course of action. Is it the best course of action? Is it the most human? Unfortunately, the entire office scene where Nomos is gone felt…not out of place. It felt like we were focusing on the background characters while something much more interesting is happening in the background. I want to know more about the conversation that Nomos had, as both him and Caritas are much more interesting characters. Overall, nice story. Good job!



AI Morality

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 3/5

Evaluation 3/5

Reaction 3/5

Overall:14

Review: This was a fun little story. The characters seem like they have a strong bond, which is good, but this story suffers from a lot of telling and a little bit of cliché. The pacing of the story feels really staggered in the beginning with just blatant narrator telling, it felt like you could have portrayed the same info better with your already decent dialogue. Additionally, the whole “tram problem” idea is cute…but a little frustrating to read, especially from an “AI Morality” standpoint. Not terrible by any means. Thank you for sharing!



Woke and Cancelled

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 4/5

Evaluation 4/5

Reaction 1/5

Overall: 14

Review: Woke and Cancelled does a good job of putting forth a situation that, at first, seems believable. However, a couple of inconsistencies begin to add up and drag the story down. For the first part, pointing out the gender queerness of the robot, while the narrator refers to them as a she seems a little out of place. Seeing as this story is in third person, the narrator would know how Argyle would prefer to be called, so them switching only after the father points it out just feels off. Then comes the theme of the story, which feels a little lost. Is it about gender? No, it’s never brought up again. Is it about morality? Sort of…but the culmination of the father being upset that his son is having sex feels more like a gag than any true theme or exploratory topic. A couple of guns were left unfired, if you will. Despite that, it was an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing!



44L- 6571

SPaG 3.5/5

Tone and Voice 5/5

Evaluation 5/5

Reaction 5/5

Overall:19

Review: Damn. A really good story. The dialogue is crisp and the story dragged me in. Nice job! I did trip up over a couple of sentences, mostly in the beginning during the scene setting, that dropped the SPaG score by a little bit. Just a little bit of restructuring to make it flow better until we get into the dialogue would clear that up really quickly. Good read with a good ending, I didn’t expect it at all but it made sense. Nice job!





The Dublin Box

SPaG 4.5/5

Tone and Voice 5/5

Evaluation 5/5

Reaction 4.5/5

Overall:19

Review: Technically well written, with only a few minor nitpicks about wording. A clever story that reads very well and very easily! You do a good job of making the dialogue and the situation believable. Even calling it the “Dublin” vs “Doubling” was a clever little tidbit that is logical and makes for a nice title. Good job, and thanks for sharing!



Mumsnet

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 4/5

Evaluation 4.5/5

Reaction 3/5

Overall:16.5

Review: A couple of awkward wordings and bits of distracting repetition are my only real complaints. The idea of being able to “speak” or somehow interact with a child in the womb is interesting, and the idea of picking a child’s name with input from the child Is interesting. Had a little bit of trouble connecting the idea to the prompt though.



Rules

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 5/5

Evaluation 4.5/5

Reaction 4/5

Overall: 18.5

Review: A beautifully written story. Dialogue markers as italics rather than quotations really threw me off, but otherwise the main part of the story was good. You do a good job with dialogue, as well as setting a very dark and grisly scene.




Flak in a Box

SPaG 4/5

Tone and Voice 4/5

Evaluation 3.5/5

Reaction 2.5/5

Overall:14

Review: To start things off, you have two really well defined characters that have a lot of good dialogue. However, a lot of the story is filled with a lot of dialogue tags that are super distracting. “remarked” “Asked”, said works perfectly fine instead of the tags. Especially when considering that “remarked” or “asked” after a question or statement is a little redundant. Otherwise interesting, thank you for sharing!

The Well-Being of Conscious Creatures

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 5/5

Evaluation 5/5

Reaction 4/5

Overall: 19

Review: A strong scene, with strong characters. Both are talking about something that is believable, if a little well-worn. You do a good job of portraying the narrator’s perspective and point of view, and you end it on a really good line. Nice job!



Queen of Hearts

SPaG 5/5

Tone and Voice 5/5

Evaluation 5/5

Reaction 3/5

Overall:18

Review: The story and the writing is executed excellently. The idea is intriguing, and your narrator has character. My only complaints is that this definitely feels like the script for a TED talk. This was probably intended, but without the human element of inflection and tone, this read like reading the transcript of something that I should be watching. Overall, a good idea and good execution. Thank you for sharing!

Pure Rubbish

SPag 5/5
Tone and Voice 5/5
Evaluation 3.5/5
Reaction: 4/5
Overall: 17.5
Review: What I like most about this piece is it's originality in concept. Not wars, not death or destruction, it's something practical and reasonable. I find myself not even necessarily disagreeing with the decision made by the humans. However, I think this story lacks the worldbuilding that makes you believe that this is needed. The only bit of trash we "see" is a bottle cap, with a slight mention of trash having to be hidden. Otherwise, great story, thanks for sharing!



If you're in the mood for more writing, check out our March LM contest, Looking Glass.


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## SueC (Mar 3, 2022)

Congrats to the winners! You all did such an awesome job; I loved every story. Thanks also to the judges and Harper - you all rock!


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## KeganThompson (Mar 3, 2022)

I feel like mine wasn't calculated properly, tied with third place!?
i feel _slightly_ embarrassed about the major spelling/grammar error, especially since it was a last-minute 'wording change' and i didn't notice! (Probably should just left it alone  )
SPaG errors are the bane of my existence.
Congrats to the winners @Non Serviam @piperofyork @Lawless  and everyone who entered!





 There were so many entries this month, thank you, judges!

hope to improve my entry now that i got feedback and don't have a word limit!


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## Non Serviam (Mar 3, 2022)

No, shut up, Harper's made a mistake.  She's somehow switched my crappy story's scores with a decent story's scores.  You need to fix this.


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## NajaNoir (Mar 3, 2022)

Congrats to the winners, you all deserved it.  And a thank you to the host and the judges. 

Good job everyone.


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## bdcharles (Mar 3, 2022)

Great stories all round, and well done to the 3 medallists! Much thanks to the judges, fellow writers, and of course to Harper for hosting


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## Lawless (Mar 4, 2022)

Quite frankly, I wasn't expecting much. I had to do several re-readings, painstakingly cutting my story from 1700+ words down to 1000, and I wasn't too happy with the final version. Thanks everybody and congrats, Non Serviam, piperofyork and Kegan!


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## Lawless (Mar 4, 2022)

There ought to be a rule that when two stories end up with equal scores than the highest individual score wins. (Kegan's 19 vs. my 18.5.)


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## PiP (Mar 4, 2022)

Congrats to the winners and a big thanks to the judges and our sponsors 

 Don't forget to vote for your favourite story in the People's Choice award 








						People's Choice Vote: GFC 2022
					


Please vote for your favourite entry from this year's contest.  Contestants are allowed to vote, but not for themselves!  HJC





					www.writingforums.com


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## epimetheus (Mar 4, 2022)

Well done everyone involved, especially the winners, and thanks judges and organisers.


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## KeganThompson (Mar 4, 2022)

Lawless said:


> There ought to be a rule that when two stories end up with equal scores than the highest individual score wins. (Kegan's 19 vs. my 18.5.)


Honestly I think a big SPaG error was missed by one of the judges, which resulted in a higher score on the SPaG end.
Technically, I think you should be third.
But we can just stay tied for third and keep our prizes and bragging rights


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## Lawless (Mar 4, 2022)

One thing I forgot to mention earlier: the prompt was absolutely brilliant. When I first saw it, I had no idea whatsoever what to write. Truly a tough prompt worthy of the grand finals.


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## piperofyork (Mar 4, 2022)

Thank you to Harper and the judges for all of their work! What a great prompt, too - total agreement with Lawless there. It's an honor to be in the company of such talented writers!


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## Foxee (Mar 4, 2022)

Congrats to the winners! Thanks for your time, Judges and Harper, that's no small task. This was a great prompt.

It is interesting that most of the prompts used an artificial remove from man, making the morality into a "morality made by things man made" but I believe the prompt could easily be interpreted as "morality made by man". "Artificial" simply means "man-made." There's a philosophical aspect to this that caused the prompt to be one of the best we've had.


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## Travalgar (Mar 5, 2022)

Three of my favorite stories ended up finishing on the first, second, and third spot. Glad to see the judges share my taste for an entertaining story! Congratulations to the winners; you all deserve this.


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## VRanger (Mar 7, 2022)

Lawless said:


> There ought to be a rule that when two stories end up with equal scores than the highest individual score wins. (Kegan's 19 vs. my 18.5.)


We're happy to award the prize to both.


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## VRanger (Mar 7, 2022)

Congratulations to the four authors with the official places, but everyone in this contest was a winner to qualify for it in the first place.  In my own scoring, I really had a hard time differentiating ... they were all great stories.


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## jenthepen (Mar 7, 2022)

Many congratulations to all the winners of the Grand Fiction Challenge 2022. The standard was so high this time round that everyone who was in the running should feel a sense of pride. As VRanger says, the judging between such equally matched stories was really hard. It's a pity that WF can't find a way to publish a collection of competition flash fiction; I'm sure the standard is high enough. Good Job Everyone!


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## Tim (Mar 7, 2022)

Yep. Great job everyone!

Congratulations to the winners. Thanks to HJC for being a gracious host (as always.) I'd like to thank the judges for giving up their valuable time and, last but not least, to all the readers: a big thank you taking the time to read.


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## TKent (Apr 2, 2022)

Congrats to the winners!! And great job all around!



Harper J. Cole said:


> It's scores time! I was a little late in posting the *people's choice poll*, so that's actually going to stay open another week, but we can give you your main grades now...
> 
> 
> StoryAuthorTheChristianWitnessjenthepenOlly BuckleVrangerBirbAverageIt Smells like Lovebdcharles1317.751515.51114.45The RipperTim1718.251617.512.516.25Can Miracles Happen?Lawless18.517.5161717.517.3*=3*Nomos and Caritaspiperofyork16.75181818.51717.65*2*AI MoralityRiptide16.7518.251617.51416.5Woke and CancelledSueC16.5161716.5141644L-6571Non Serviam19.218171718.517.94*1*The Dublin Boxjenthepen18.5JUDGE1517.519JUDGEQueen of HeartsCyberWar15.7515.751416.51816Mumsnetepimetheus1415.51316.516.515.1Pure RubbishNajaNoir16.5171215.517.515.7RulesJBF11.516.751314.518.514.85Flak in a BoxFoxee16.7516.7518151416.1The Well-being of Conscience CreaturesKeganThompson16.518.51616.51917.3*=3*
> ...


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