# rhythm of a poetic lifestyle



## escorial (Nov 20, 2015)

the self-wrestler
who becomes a searing self-critic
they must face shame and loss
are destined to suffer
with joyful wisdom and intensity
their old self may temper the new
and let metaphors become reality
as so many poets often do.......


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## Firemajic (Nov 20, 2015)

Ha.. This sounds like words of wisdom from my friend Courtjester...Escorial, a fabulous message delivered with your unique style and panache ...always a pleasure to read your thoughts..


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## escorial (Nov 20, 2015)

thanks Jul's the court is always open to new ideas..panache you say...well i feel like a dandy now


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## Firemajic (Nov 20, 2015)

lol...now you are teasing me...watchit!! lol..


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## Fats Velvet (Nov 20, 2015)

"metaphors become reality
as so many poets often do..."

I can't tell if this is revelation or repudiation but it sticks either way.

"their old self may temper the new"

Works conversely too.

Esc, this and your other poems have a way of saying things lingering on the tip of the tongue, right there but never quite going out there.  It's a graceful balancing act, infuriating to interpret at times, but often paying out of proportion with the effort.


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## escorial (Nov 20, 2015)

thanks FV....one tries to avoid answers in poetry but likes to keep the files open....unsolved maybe for the reader to decide..thanks dude


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## inkwellness (Nov 20, 2015)

Unsolved. I like that. Or perhaps seen differently through different eyes.


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## escorial (Nov 20, 2015)

inkwellness said:


> seen differently through different eyes.




for me the essence of all poetry i like..cheers man


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## Minu (Nov 21, 2015)

It's interesting, however, I find it slow to read. There's no connection between the lines.


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## escorial (Nov 21, 2015)

Minu i'm not big on rhythm or punctuality...the title was in some ways misleading but at the same time i was going for the chaotic temperament of a poet who often is awash with different emotions in a short space of time...the rhythm in the title was at first the beat..but in the end i felt rhythm adds more to it...cheers man


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## aj47 (Nov 21, 2015)

This reads more like a draft than your usual stuff.  I'll ponder why I think that and get back to you.


Back:



escorial said:


> the self wrestler self-wrestler needs a hyphen
> who becomes a searing self critic as does self-critic
> they must face shame and loss I think you can drop they
> are destined to suffer maybe leave out are, too
> ...



Some suggestions.  This looks very "loose" compared to your usual sparsity of words and I could go back with another look and see some other words that might be extra that I didn't note here.

This is an amazing train of thought and I appreciate your sharing it.


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## escorial (Nov 22, 2015)

they and so...i feel if i take that out it gives the piece a singular feel...wow..thanks astroannie..cool stuff

the self-wrestler
who becomes a searing self-critic
must face shame and loss
are destined to suffer
with joyful wisdom and intensity
their old self may temper the new
and let metaphors become reality
as many poets often do.......

yeah...kidda


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## Bard_Daniel (Nov 22, 2015)

Another great poem, escorial!

Keep up the good work!


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## escorial (Nov 22, 2015)

thanks man


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## Blade (Nov 25, 2015)

I really got off on the wrestler image in this poem. I could see them posturing and parading in the ring, professional style until the last line which kind of brought it crashing down.:boxing:

The final line really works this piece.:thumbl:


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## Bosco (Nov 26, 2015)

Without being repetitive, this is solid.

But maybe because the self-wrestler is singular, that "are" should be "is?" Or maybe just lose the verb:

the self-wrestler
who becomes a searing self-critic
must face shame and loss
destined to suffer

Good read.


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## escorial (Nov 28, 2015)

thanks Blade

Bosco...cheers man...it's odd i know but i often like to use singular as well as plurals to give the feel of a poem about one person but also implies it means others along the way to..thanks for your solid insight man.


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## Sonata (Nov 28, 2015)

I liked the original version but your second one - with the help of Annie - is, for me, an improvement.


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## escorial (Nov 28, 2015)

thanks Sonata...


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