# Different Ways to Say "Said"



## Yrael

In writing, there often comes the trouble of replacing the word "said" with something to convey more feeling or emotion, or just to avoid repetition of the same word. So for all the writers I offer a list of numerous ways to say "said" in your writing.

*A*

      announced
      awed
      accused
      assured
      apologized
      addressed
      asked
      advised
      answered
      added
      agreed
      argued
      assisted
      affirmed
      acknowledged
      applauded
      advocated

*B*

      belched
      beseeched
      boomed
      bellowed
      bowed
      boasted
      began
      begged
      beamed
      butted-in
      bantered
*
C*

      contested
      countered
      croaked
      consoled
      chorused
      complained
      corrected
      championed
      cheered
      cried
      complemented
      calculated
      cackled
      cautioned
      continued
      commented
      conceded
      complained

*D*

      declared
      drawled
      dribbled
      dismissed
      demanded
      denied
      decided

*E*

      eased
      egged
      exclaimed
      excused
      encouraged
      enthused
      ejaculated
      effervesced
      enticed
      echoed

*F*

      frowned
      finished
      fidgeted
      fumbled
      fumed

*G*

      greeted
      grinned
      gulped
      grumbled
      groaned
      giggled
      gasped
      glowered
      gurgled
      gleamed
      guessed
      guffawed
      gawped

*H*

      hissed
      hoped
      hailed
      humored
      hesitated
      hollered

*I*

      indicated
      inquired
      informed
      interrupted
      insisted
      instructed

*L*

      laughed
      lisped
      lumbered

*M*

      muttered
      moaned
      mumbled
      maintained
      motioned
      murmured
      mentioned

*N*

      nodded
      noticed

*O*

      offered
      observed
      objected
      oscillated

*P*

      panted
      pondered
      panicked
      puzzled
      protested
      pressed
      piped up
      proffered
      pleaded
      pardoned
      postulated
      proclaimed

*Q*

     questioned

*R*

      rambled
      returned
      repeated
      responded
      ranted
      raved
      relented
      rescinded
      released
      requested

*S*

      slurped
      sneered
      slurred
      smirked
      snorted
      stared
      smiled
      spoke
      stormed
      sang
      shouted
      screamed
      squealed
      scolded
      shuddered
      sighed
      smarted
      stated
      suggested
      spluttered
      snapped
      snarled
      stressed
      shrilled
      stammered
      screeched
      summarized
      shuffled
      sobbed
      sniffed
      shrieked
      swayed

*T*

      tutted
      threatened
      teased
      tittered
      taunted

*U*

      urged
      ushered
      uttered

*V*

      ventured
      vacillated

*W*

      wondered
      winked
      worried
      whinged
      whined
      wittered
      warned
      whispered
      winced
      waved
      wailed

*Y*

      yelled
      yodeled


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## Julianne

Continually avoiding the use of "said" in favor of more...um...colorful dialogue tags is the mark of a beginner. Don't do it!    

That's not to say that you shouldn't *sometimes* use other tags for emphasis. Just don't make it a habit.


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## Spudley

There's a kind of joke called a "Tom Swiftie", which makes fun of writing that actively avoids using the word "said".

You might want to  read this to find out more about them.  

They can be quite good fun.


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## Hoss

Julianne said:
			
		

> Continually avoiding the use of "said" in favor of more...um...colorful dialogue tags is the mark of a beginner. Don't do it!
> 
> That's not to say that you shouldn't *sometimes* use other tags for emphasis. Just don't make it a habit.



It's true. Thats one of the first things I'd learned about dialogue. You shouldn't rely on those words to better illustrate how someone is talking. You can get your point across without using them.
 I'm not eligable to talk about much of writing, especially of experience or success. I'm just relaying what I've learned.


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## Saponification

"Said."

"Says."

All I ever need.

Unpack the emotion, feeling, tone, whatever. Don't put it into one word.


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## Hodge

Oh yeah?

"My underwear is missing!" Sam yodeled.


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## suzakugaiden

Or, in a more Tom Swiftly manner:

"My underwear are gone!" bawled Tom.


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## journyman161

Besides, 'said' is almost invisible in writing. Think of your favourite book with dialog. Did you notice excessive use of said? Now go & look at it. You will find 'said' liberaaly used - you just don't register it when you read unless the writing is crap.

This isn't my opinion, this is tested & proven


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## RPM

Often times, you don't even need to use anything at all, unless of course you need to clarify who is actually speaking.

I typically use said/says once for each character at the beginning of the conversation, and then from there keep to just the actual words.


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## Avarice

great list! I hate abusing the poor word 'said'


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## Margo

That's a good list and it's helped me.


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## Saponification

"Said" abuse is nowhere near as bad as thesaural abuse.


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## mammamaia

added to the other valid objections above, is that most of the words on that list won't work as dialog tags, because they don't equal 'said' at all and can't logically go with words that are spoken... such as, 'belched'... a belch is a sound, and no one can speak 'in belches'... 

nor can words be 'applauded' out of someone's mouth, or 'shuddered'... 

imo, it's doing a disservice to new/beginning writers to tell them it's ok to stray so far from the tried and true, professional writer's 'said'... an occasional use of a valid alternative is ok, but to say all those examples can be used effectively is not good advice... 

i'm sure you meant well, yrael, but i have to agree with all the dissenters above... 

hugs, maia


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## journyman161

Um, small point maia, but most guys will tell you it is perfectly possible to speak in burps; we've even had comps to see who can say the most of the alphabet in one burp... *trails off, looks around...* or is that just me? :lol:


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## mammamaia

watch it, mark!... some kids might take you seriously... or, d'ya think he should add 'farted' to that list, too?  ;-)


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## suzakugaiden

. . .

Right. I'm going to squish both of you VERY SOON.

Anyway, one problem that beginning writers seem to have is that they misunderstand synonyms. A synonym is a word that still has the same meaning, or similar meaning, as another word.

however, just becasue they have similar meanings doesn't mean you can randomly change them. By this logic, you could very legitamtely randomly drop in foreign language words. After all, Pferd and horse are technically synoynmous. They MEAN the same thing, no?


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## Kimahri

I don't see any problems with replacing the word "said" as long as writers don't over-do-it.  I consider myself a pretty new writer still and I had tried to be more creative and replace the word "said" with something else but as wrote and wrote I kind of ignored the whole thing.  If there are some that could be changed and it would be better than the word "said" then you can do that when you begin to edit.  other than that I would have to agree with everyone here and say "said" in the end is fine.

kimahri


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## Achilles

journyman161 said:
			
		

> Um, small point maia, but most guys will tell you it is perfectly possible to speak in burps; we've even had comps to see who can say the most of the alphabet in one burp... *trails off, looks around...* or is that just me? :lol:


I got to P. I also succesfully belched one and a half rounds of "Mary Had a Little Lamb." Memories...


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## Julianne

suzakugaiden said:
			
		

> Or, in a more Tom Swiftly manner:
> 
> "My underwear are gone!" bawled Tom.



"My underwear are gone," Tom said nakedly.


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## suzakugaiden

"I believe I'm ovulating!" egged Tom.


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## bobothegoat

I agree that you don't need too many diffent "said" variants.  Sometimes I find them necessary, but usually it's only the usage of words like shouted or whispered.


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## blademasterzzz

-----


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## Saponification

suzakugaiden said:
			
		

> "I believe I'm ovulating!" egged Tom.



Gold.


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## suzakugaiden

Shouted and whispered are usually valid, because it's either a bit silly to show them, or there's no other real way to convey volume. Saying stuff liked "shouted loudly" is a bit retarded the because it's redundant so DON'T DO IT.

"Oh my god, there's an axe in my head!" Tom gushed.


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## Saponification

"-Ly" words are the Devil, anyway.


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## Julianne

blademasterzzz said:
			
		

> The door quickly opened, and a small man strolled inside the room.
> 
> "Hi." He announced casually, treading from side to side.
> "Hello." Homer remarked, looking up from his glass.
> "Well," The man continued shyly. "I was sorta looking for this bar with the.. eh..."
> "Special services?" Homer guessed, leaning back on his chair.
> "Yea." The man conceded, looking more uncomfortable than ever.
> "Right through here, my friend." Homer stood up, pulling back a curtain.
> 
> ------------------------
> 
> The door quickly opened, and a small man strolled inside the room.
> 
> "Hi." He said, treading from side to side.
> "Hello." Homer said, looking up from his glass.
> "Well," The man continued. "I was sorta looking for this bar with the.. eh..."
> "Special services?" Homer said, leaning back on his chair.
> "Yea." The man said, looking more uncomfortable than ever.
> "Right through here, my friend." Homer stood up, pulling back a curtain.



The door opened, and a small man walked into the room. 

"Hi."

"Hello," Homer said, looking up from his glass.  

"Well...I was sorta looking for this bar with the.. eh..."

Homer leaned back on his chair and grinned. "Special services?" 

"Yea." The man looked more uncomfortable than ever. 

"Right through here, my friend." Homer stood up and pulled back a curtain.

----------------

OK, it's not perfect, but I did get rid of a few more of the "said"'s.


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## HollyHopeful

*One more Tom Swiftly*

"The radiation level is down!" Tom exclaimed glowingly.


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## Novicewriter

I never knew there were so many ways to say "said."


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## Robgb

DO NOT use any of these words.  Unless your work is otherwise absolute genius, your manuscript will be sent sailing out the first available window of any reputable editor's office.

And even when you use said, use it sparingly.  And use it for the following two reasons:  a) indentification; and b) rhythm, which plays a large part in writing dialogue.  

For example, in the following passage, the first said is used for indentification, the second used for rhythm:

     "Anyway,” Brody said, “for the time being, you've got a Jane Doe on your hands and I've got one big fat question mark." 

     “If she's suffering from any real psychosis, it could be weeks or even months before she opens up.”

     "That's not what I want to hear, Doc."

     "I'm not a miracle worker," Tolan said.  "Far from it."

     "Maybe not.  But you're the closest thing I've got."


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## Robgb

Julianne said:
			
		

> "Yea." The man looked more uncomfortable than ever.


P.S.  The word "Yea" is an exclamation of joy or happiness.  The word "yeah" is slang for "yes."

I only bring this up because I see people doing this all the time and it absolutely drives me nuts.


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## mammamaia

bugs me, too, rob!... i just never bothered to bring it up... thanks for doing it for me... m


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## blademasterzzz

Cool to know.


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## River1034

Totally off topic, but Blade your quote is awesome lol. Anyway, on with the show.
Using 'said' is totally acceptable and it flows well, really you only need to use it for identification though. And like someone said earlier, rthym.
I have read stories before that used everything BUT said and it can really detract from the story.


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## Magtour

I fould myself using "Tells" a lot, and went back to work around it.. as in.. 

Stevie tells her, "Stop doing that."

It wasn't easy to work around it, but I was happier with the result, and I only use Says or Said.  I do my best to not overuse it though.


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## Yrael

I never stated this is all a writer should use...

Groups of words to describe motion and feelings instead of a said, or replacement word for it, can easily describe it better. However, you can mix the two in your writing, which is more effective than either or.


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## bebestix

I like that way in which you merely bring out the quote and many times in the context, you can tell who said it.


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## slayerofangels

Yeah, try to vary the words used but don't try too hard.


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## Loulou

Hodge said:
			
		

> Oh yeah?
> 
> "My underwear is missing!" Sam yodeled.


 
"I have it!" Tarquin ejaculated.


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## Mike C

Yrael said:
			
		

> Groups of words to describe motion and feelings instead of a said, or replacement word for it, can easily describe it better.



No, it can't. And you shouldn't be looking for words to prop up a description, you should be looking to make the dialoge convey all the description you need. If you have to add a tag like 'barked' or whatever to a piece of dialogue, it's becuase you haven't written the passage well enough. I should know what tone of voice is being used through the preceding action and the dialogue itself. 

Go read a book. Look at the dialogue and see how rarely these junk words are used and how common the use of 'said' is.


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## Kane

Mike C said:
			
		

> No, it can't. And you shouldn't be looking for words to prop up a description, you should be looking to make the dialoge convey all the description you need. If you have to add a tag like 'barked' or whatever to a piece of dialogue, it's becuase you haven't written the passage well enough. I should know what tone of voice is being used through the preceding action and the dialogue itself.
> 
> Go read a book. Look at the dialogue and see how rarely these junk words are used and how common the use of 'said' is.



You're responding to a guy with 4 posts who posted that message in 2005.  I don't think he'll hear you.


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## Anarkos

Loulou said:
			
		

> "I have it!" Tarquin ejaculated.



Oi!  Thread necromancy!


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## killned3

Replacing the word "said" superfluously in the hopes of spicing up a piece can, actually, have a reverse effect. It will give the work a feeling of detail overload--of replacing the word "said" not to help the story, but to do so in a failed attempt at vivication.

Golden Rule: Simple is good. :]. Mostly.


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## je33ie

RPM said:
			
		

> I typically use said/says once for each character at the beginning of the conversation, and then from there keep to just the actual words.


Be careful not to make the dialogue too long when using this technique as the reader can lose track of who is speaking.

I soon lose interest of books where I have to keep counting back through the dialogue to see who's saying what.

A good way to avoid the use of 'said' is to write a statement explaining what the character is doing before they speak, for example:

'I don't want to be your friend anymore'.
Jerry looked blankly at the boy's statement before opening his mouth. 
'I don't know what you mean-'
'Yes, you do.'
'No, I don't.'
'YES, YOU DO.'
The boy sighed lodly and began to turn away but Jerry grabbed his shoulder. 
'Wait!'

etc.


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## Jolly McJollyson

Julianne said:
			
		

> The door opened, and a small man walked into the room.
> 
> "Hi."
> 
> "Hello," Homer said, looking up from his glass.
> 
> "Well...I was sorta looking for this bar with the.. eh..."
> 
> Homer leaned back on his chair and grinned. "Special services?"
> 
> "Yea." The man looked more uncomfortable than ever.
> 
> "Right through here, my friend." Homer stood up and pulled back a curtain.
> 
> ----------------
> 
> OK, it's not perfect, but I did get rid of a few more of the "said"'s.


The door opened, and a small man walked into the room.

"Got any hookers?"

"You bet!" said Homer.


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## Loulou

Anarkos said:
			
		

> Oi! Thread necromancy!


 
Aw come on, I'm a novice, I just completed my Conjuring The Dead In The Workplace Part 2 course last Tuesday and I still haven't got my certificate....


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## SilkFX

Wow. I wish I'd had that list when I was...um...11. 

"Said" and "asked" take care of about 98% of your dialogue tag needs.

(smacking the dead horse with the flat of my boot)


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## Omnisu




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## Krim

What do you mean, you should only use 'said'? PSH.

What do you prefer?

"Nice ass," said Ralph.

"Nice ass," complimented Ralph touchily.


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## Kane

> "Nice ass," said Ralph.



This example is much better than the latter.  Touchily?  That's a terrible adverb, and the sign of a weak writer.  If I read that in a book I would be quite annoyed.  Sometimes, there is a better word than said, but said should be used most often in almost all cases.


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## Krim

- coughs. -

This is why I shouldn't try to be funny.

I would say, out of the 14,000 or so words of my manuscript so far, I can only remember using one permutation out of maybe fifty saids, which was 'yelled'. Zero adverbs, with maybe five or six...ah... - looks away... - ... adverbial phrases...

And it's a --- drum roll please --- fantasy novel.

I always hated when someone replaced a permutation of said with an action. I never figured out how a character would be able to glower "what do you want?" I mean, are you reading the expression in their eyes or what? Since when you would use the permutation it would signify the entire sentence was spoken like that...I just can't imagine someone gulping while speaking a whole sentence.

My favorites:



> *A*
> 
> announced
> *awed*
> accused
> assured
> apologized
> addressed
> asked
> advised
> answered
> added
> agreed
> argued
> assisted
> affirmed
> acknowledged
> applauded
> *advocated*
> 
> *B*
> 
> belched
> beseeched
> boomed
> bellowed
> bowed
> boasted
> began
> begged
> *beamed [The character is a laser?*
> butted-in
> *bantered*
> 
> *C*
> 
> contested
> countered
> croaked
> consoled
> chorused
> complained
> corrected
> *championed*
> cheered
> cried
> *complemented [why complemented but not complimented?]*
> calculated
> *cackled*
> cautioned
> continued
> commented
> conceded
> complained
> 
> *D*
> 
> declared
> drawled
> *dribbled [Moses passes...Jesus saves!]*
> dismissed
> demanded
> *denied [But Quetzalcoatl blocks the goal!]*
> decided
> 
> *E*
> 
> eased
> *egged*
> exclaimed
> excused
> encouraged
> enthused
> *ejaculated*
> *effervesced [....]*
> enticed
> echoed
> 
> *F*
> 
> frowned
> finished
> *fidgeted*
> fumbled
> fumed
> 
> *G*
> 
> greeted
> grinned
> *gulped*
> grumbled
> groaned
> giggled
> gasped
> *glowered*
> gurgled
> gleamed
> guessed
> *guffawed*
> gawped
> 
> *H*
> 
> hissed
> hoped
> *hailed*
> humored
> hesitated
> hollered
> 
> *I*
> 
> indicated
> inquired
> informed
> interrupted
> insisted
> instructed
> 
> *L*
> 
> *laughed*
> lisped
> *lumbered*
> 
> *M*
> 
> muttered
> moaned
> mumbled
> maintained
> motioned
> murmured
> mentioned
> 
> *N*
> 
> nodded
> noticed
> 
> *O*
> 
> offered
> observed
> objected
> *oscillated [....]*
> 
> *P*
> 
> panted
> pondered
> panicked
> puzzled
> protested
> pressed
> piped up
> proffered
> pleaded
> pardoned
> *postulated*
> proclaimed
> 
> *Q*
> 
> questioned
> 
> *R*
> 
> rambled
> returned
> repeated
> responded
> ranted
> raved
> relented
> *rescinded*
> released
> requested
> 
> *S*
> 
> slurped
> sneered
> slurred
> smirked
> *snorted*
> stared
> *smiled*
> spoke
> stormed
> sang
> shouted
> screamed
> squealed
> scolded
> shuddered
> sighed
> smarted
> stated
> suggested
> spluttered
> snapped
> snarled
> stressed
> shrilled
> stammered
> screeched
> *summarized*
> shuffled
> sobbed
> *sniffed*
> shrieked
> *swayed*
> 
> *T*
> 
> tutted
> threatened
> teased
> *tittered*
> taunted
> 
> *U*
> 
> urged
> *ushered*
> uttered
> 
> *V*
> 
> ventured
> *vacillated*
> 
> *W*
> 
> wondered
> *winked*
> worried
> *whinged*
> whined
> wittered
> warned
> whispered
> winced
> *waved*
> wailed
> 
> *Y*
> 
> yelled
> *yodeled*


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## Kane

Krim said:
			
		

> - coughs. -
> 
> This is why I shouldn't try to be funny.
> 
> I would say, out of the 14,000 or so words of my manuscript so far, I can only remember using one permutation out of maybe fifty saids, which was 'yelled'. Zero adverbs, with maybe five or six...ah... - looks away... - ... adverbial phrases...
> 
> And it's a --- drum roll please --- fantasy novel.



Writing a fantasy novel is no excuse for poor writing.  The element of fantasy comes from the subject matter, not the writing style.


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## Krim

Mhm...I'm trying to decide if you're drunk, or just tired.

So not using permutations of said and adverbs is a sign of poor writing now?

He complimented her touchily. As in, either he was annoyed, or he was literally touching her. Based off those series of novels infamous for their tacking of adverbs and permutations of said...Tom Swalie or something like that. 

I phail.


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## Kane

> So not using permutations of said and adverbs is a sign of poor writing now?



Of course not.  Everything I've said would indicate the reverse.  You're the one that indicated the lack of "said" permutations and annoying adverbs should come as a surprise in a fantasy novel.  I'm just saying that a fantasy novel is no great indicator that the writing will be lacking... understand now?


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## Krim

From personal experience, fantasy novels, especially by random people on internet forums, do tend to be loaded with permutations and unnecessary adverbs. 

But still, no point arguing. It's just a good deal of fantasy does tend to have flowery writing where each word is a pig dressed up in a dress. No point arguing, case closed.


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## Kane

There is a lot of poorly written fantasy, but there's a lot of poorly written novels in any genre.  Internet forums do not count, as they are not published, professional works.  Besides, I'd guess that more young writers would be interested in fantasy than not, as it is an appealing genre to younger audiences as well as old.


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## Krim

Yes, there is a lot of poorly written novels in every genre, but still, when you're my age (probably should've clarified I'm young) and you write fantasy, the majority use permutations and adverbs. And my novel is not a published, professional work either, so it does count.


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## Kane

Krim said:
			
		

> Yes, there is a lot of poorly written novels in every genre, but still, when you're my age (probably should've clarified I'm young) and you write fantasy, the majority use permutations and adverbs. And my novel is not a published, professional work either, so it does count.



No, it really doesn't.  You can't judge an unpublished ameteur work because it doesn't really have any standard by which to be judged.  A published work undergoes revisions and editing by a third party, and this after it is selected for publishing on its merits.  Besides, there is usuallu difference in the writing of the average Joe writing on a whim, or even a hobbyist, and a writer who has chosen writing as a profession.


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## je33ie

Krim said:
			
		

> *[why complemented but not complimented?]*



"You and I are a good match," complemented Ralph.


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## aspiring

je33ie said:
			
		

> "You and I are a good match," complemented Ralph.


 
Not a good example. Better ones would be:

Ralph complimented her on her outfit. 'That dress really suits you,' he said.

'You and I complement each other,' Ralph told her. 'I have the ideas and you can develop them.'


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## Omnisu

_*SUPER NECRO!






I am the thread necromancer. Fear my arcane powers.
*_


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## Fantasy of You

> Ralph complimented her on her outfit. 'That dress really suits you,' he said.


 
Each sentence makes the other redundant. The reader isn't an idiot.


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## aspiring

Fantasy of You said:
			
		

> Each sentence makes the other redundant. The reader isn't an idiot.


 
Neither am I. The sentence was meant to explain the difference between 'compliment' and 'complement'. It was not meant to be an example of good storytelling. Please stop assuming that all posts are asking to be critiqued.


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## Fantasy of You

Then give better examples...


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## Krim

I know what complemented means, and it seems rather impossible to use it as a permutation of said. And I said 'complemented, but not complimented?' because complimented is much more common.




> _*Usage Note*_: _Complement_ and _compliment,_ though quite distinct in meaning, are sometimes confused because they are pronounced the same. As a noun, _complement_ means "something that completes or brings to perfection" (_The antique silver was a complement to the beautifully set table_); used as a verb it means "to serve as a complement to." The noun _compliment_ means "an expression or act of courtesy or praise" (_They gave us a compliment on our beautifully set table_), while the verb means "to pay a compliment to."​




I don't really see anyway that could be a permutation. Was probably a spelling error on the OP's part. 
​


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## je33ie

aspiring said:
			
		

> Not a good example. Better ones would be:
> 
> Ralph complimented her on her outfit. 'That dress really suits you,' he said.
> 
> 'You and I complement each other,' Ralph told her. 'I have the ideas and you can develop them.'


**sigh**

Did anyone get that I was trying to be witty in my last comment... or can I only make people on here laugh with simple toilet humour?


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## Jolly McJollyson

je33ie said:
			
		

> **sigh**
> 
> Did anyone get that I was trying to be witty in my last comment... or can I only make people on here laugh with simple toilet humour?


...

poop!


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## twilit

Wow..nice list. : ) Could become very helpful in the future.


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## Goglas

Good thing someone brought this back up, or else I would've never used 'said' 

Anyway, two questions:
1) "Yes, sir!" They saluted.... -- This is ok, right? I'm not trying to convey how they said what they said, because it's obvious, but simply tell the reader what they were doing after they've spoken.
Or is:
"Yes, sir!" They said, saluted, and blablabla...   -- Better?

2) I find myself using the words "responded" and "replied" a lot. Especially if the two or more characters involved in the conversation are actually arguing. Think I should just replace it with 'said'?


----------



## lilacstarflower

I read somewhere that publishers HATE reading synonyms for 'said' because it distracts the reader from whats actually happening. What i mean is, you can use 'said' as much as you like and the other descriptions only when its appropriate - to emphasize a point. If every other 'Said' turns into an 'ejaculate', 'announce', 'declared' and so on - the reader picks up on it and apparently is put off of the story


----------



## Truth-Teller

je33ie said:


> Be careful not to make the dialogue too long when using this technique as the reader can lose track of who is speaking.
> 
> I soon lose interest of books where I have to keep counting back through the dialogue to see who's saying what.
> 
> A good way to avoid the use of 'said' is to write a statement explaining what the character is doing before they speak, for example:
> 
> 'I don't want to be your friend anymore'.
> Jerry looked blankly at the boy's statement before opening his mouth.
> 'I don't know what you mean-'
> 'Yes, you do.'
> 'No, I don't.'
> 'YES, YOU DO.'
> The boy sighed lodly and began to turn away but Jerry grabbed his shoulder.
> 'Wait!'
> 
> etc.


 
Yes, this is how pulp mystery writers write. It gets clunky after a while, and you still loose track of who's talking to whom.

I think it's best if you follow Roald Dahl method.


----------



## Truth-Teller

Julianne said:


> "My underwear are gone," Tom said nakedly.


 Horrible.:evil:



suzakugaiden said:


> "I believe I'm ovulating!" egged Tom.


 Whack.[-X



suzakugaiden said:


> "My underwear are gone!" bawled Tom.


 Perfect. :thumbl:

Now, there's going to be lots of people who's going to prefer "My underwear is gone!" Tom said. But where is the urgency? Isn't he crying? Or Tom declared. Or Tom stated. Or Tom interjected. Or Tim ejaculated. Or Tom spazzed out. Or one of these horrendous verbs. Best if you ignore them.


----------



## Mr Sci Fi

How do you "Wave" in speech?

Your character can say something, THEN wave, but he can't wave it.

This list is completely ridiculous. Readers don't even register the word "Said" anymore. It's a given. Convey emotions through the dialogue itself, not attributions.


----------



## Truth-Teller

But if you want to see the actions of the character, along with the dialogue, you need the attributions. If you want to hear the subtle distinction of sarcasm (or emphasis) in the dialogue, you need the modifiers.

This is how Stephen King writes. Let's look at his example on On Writing:

_"What you reckon?" the boy asked. He doodled a stick in the dirt without looking up. What he drew could have been a ball, or a planet, or nothing but a circle. "You reckon the earth goes around the sun like they say?"_​_"I don't know what they say," Mistub Butts replied. "I ain't never studied what thisun or thatun says, because eachun says a different thing until your head is finally achin and you lose your aminite."_​_"What's aminite?" the boy asked._​_"You don't never shut up the questions!" Mistuh Butts cried. He seized the boy's stick and snapped it. "Aminite is in your belly when it's time to eat! Less you sick! And folks say _I'm _ignorant!"_​_"Oh, _appetite," _the boy said placidly, and began drawing again, this time with his fingers._​Again, in his short story, 1408:

_"Is 1408 a smoking room, Mr. Olin? Just in case nuclear war breaks out?"_​_"As a matter of fact, it is."_​_"Well," Mike said heartily, "that's one less worry in the watches of the night."_​And King explains: "And here's one I didn't cut... not just an adverb but a Swiftie. I stand behind my choice not to cut in this case, would argue that it's the exception which proves the rule. "Heartily" has been allowed to stand because I want the reader to understand that Mike is making fun of poor Mr. Olin. Just a little, but yes, he's making fun."


----------



## Mr Sci Fi

Truth-Teller said:


> But if you want to see the actions of the character, along with the dialogue, you need the attributions. If you want to hear the subtle distinction of sarcasm in the dialogue, you need the modifiers.
> 
> This is how Stephen King writes.


 
Thank God the rest of the world doesn't write like Stephen King, otherwise I wouldn't be reading.


----------



## Sam

The use of dialogue tags to express how someone says something is the mark of beginner, as many people have pointed out in this thread. Sometimes - though very rarely - they can be used, but most of the time they should be avoided. 

Sam.


----------



## Truth-Teller

So Stephen King is a beginner...


----------



## seigfried007

I've found that using actions by the characters around dialogue conveys how the words are said well in most instances. One doesn't need not always leave dialogue naked on the line or flanked by the caboose of 'said'.

Spying a choice water spot on the suspended ceiling, Commander Reno leaned back on the threadbare orange wheelie desk chair and took aim with a freshly sharpened pencil. "Nah."

"You're sure, sir?" Lieutenant Psycho leaned his back against the wall and arched a brow.

Reno's eyes narrowed on the spot. His arms flexed and extended in practice.  "Yup."

Psycho grinned. "Five bucks in assorted loose change that you botch it."

"You're on."


----------



## Katastrof

Ya I wouldn't say you always have to use "said". I guess it's preferably for the flow of the story but I think even the reader will eventually get tired with the same he said and she said dialog. Throwing in an action (like siegfried said) is perfectly fine and sometimes more efficient. 

And _possibly_ an adverb. Not saying I like them, but there might be a _few_ odd times when you _have_ to use them and they'll _fit better_ than "said". Although if you can cut them out, do so.


----------



## Truth-Teller

*



			He Said, She Said:  Stop The
		
Click to expand...

*


> *Ping** Pong Match!*
> *Creating Realistic Dialogue*
> 
> *                                                     By Mary Rosenblum*
> 
> *            “I don’t know,” she said. *
> *            “Neither do I,” he answered.*
> *            “Well, what do we do now?” she** asked.*
> *            “You tell me,” he snapped. *
> *            We’ve all created dialogue like this, in our early days as writers.   The characters talk, we carefully tag those lines so that we don’t confuse the reader.  We vary ‘said’ with ‘announced’, ‘snapped’, ‘answered’.  But when we read the story over, that carefully crafted dialogue sounds…flat.  Why? What does it take to make a conversation sound like a conversation?    Why is it so often well…boring?  *
> 
> *The Dialogue Tripod *
> 
> When we think of dialogue, we think of conversation.  Words.  That’s what a conversation is, isn’t it?  An exchange of words between two or more characters?  Well, yes, and no.  Conversation is indeed based on an exchange of words, but is that all it is?  Think back over your last conversation.  You and your boss were talking about the upcoming Forsythe project.  Words were flying back and forth between you, yes.  But at the same time you were proposing a brilliant new approach to the client’s needs, you were also watching your boss’s face and body language.  Tense shoulders?  A hint of a frown?  He doesn’t like this idea?  And you’re thinking that this guy wouldn’t be a very junior VP if he had more gumption and was willing to take a few more risks.
> *            So what did our ‘exchange of words’ include?  It included the words, of course, but it also included our awareness of the other person’s body language and our own mental counterpoint to the conversation.  Here we have them – the three legs of a strong dialogue scene: words, visuals, thoughts.*
> 
> *Talking Heads *
> 
> *            You’ve probably read a piece of fiction where a couple of characters chat interminably with nary a glimpse of the scene.  After a few lines, our sense of setting tends to fade away.  Eventually, we find ourselves floating in a gray mist, watching two heads chattering away!  Remember that readers only carry a sense of the scene with them for a short period of time.  If the characters make no references to their surroundings, then we forget where we are.  By the end of a long dialogue scene with no visuals, most readers will have completely forgotten where the conversation began.  The sudden appearance, say, of that teakwood bar and noisy after-work crowd, may really startle your reader.   Besides giving us glimpses of that teak and the crowd of suited men and women, you can also show us the other speaker’s expression and reaction to the POV character’s words, thus letting us watch body language the way we’d do it in real life.    *
> *“I don’t know.”  *
> *            “Neither do I.”  He stubbed out his cigarette in the brass ashtray, his trembling fingers sending it skidding down the polished teakwood bar.*
> *            She fixed her eyes on the blonde in the Armani suit, blinking rapidly.  “Well, what do we do now?” *
> *            “You tell me.” *
> *            Okay, we’ve added quite a bit of visual interest to our little exchange of words.  Now we see him stub out his cigarette and that brass ashtray skids down the bar.  There is at least one woman in an expensive suit in the bar.  So we’ve added to the scene.  We’ve done more than that, though.   Take a look at the body language.  His fingers are trembling.  She’s trying not to cry.  Clearly, this is a moment of emotional intensity.  And you, the author, haven’t told us a thing.  We’ve figured this out from watching the characters, just as we would in real life.  This piece of dialogue also varies in pace, although it’s too brief to really vary much.  But we’ve begun with a stripped line (no tag) which usually indicates an intense interchange.  We end with another stripped line.  In between we have a bit of a pause where we watch him stub out that cigarette and watch her blink back tears.  By varying the rhythm of your dialogue from intense to leisurely, you keep the reader’s attention.  We get bored with a monotonous pace, be it either intense or slow.   You don’t want to pad every line with visuals, but you don’t want thirty lines of stripped dialogue, either.  Use both to vary your rhythm.*
> 
> *Said-isms.  Your Teacher Was Wrong *
> 
> *            Sometime during your school years, I will bet that a teacher handed you a nice printed list of words to use instead of ‘said’.  Instead of ‘he said’, ‘she said’, you used ‘he announced’, ‘she shouted’.  This is how you avoid using ‘said’ too often, your teacher probably told you.   *
> *            Well, your teacher was addressing a real problem, but offering the wrong solution.  When we use a tag line ‘he said’, ‘she said’ after every line, it does hurt our dialogue.  That rhythmical ‘he said’, ‘she said’ begins to take on the sound of a ping pong ball bopping back and forth over the net.  But simply changing ‘said’ to ‘announced’ or ‘shouted’ isn’t the answer.  ‘Said’ is fairly invisible to the reader.  It simply labels the speaker.  It doesn’t tell us anything else.  When you substitute ‘announced’, or ‘shouted’ we notice this tag, and we hear the speaker differently.  The character may not need to shout, or may not be the type of character who goes about pompously ‘announcing’ his thoughts to the world.  Again, your dialogue sounds phony.  *
> *            Use action tags instead.  “Neither do I.”  He stubbed out his cigarette in the brass ashtray, his trembling fingers sending it skidding down the polished teak of the bar.  We have no doubt who said ‘Neither do I.”  You have labeled the speaker without using ‘said’, or any of the ‘saidisms’.  And you have showed us the scene, and you have given us a glimpse of his emotional state.  Wow!  You’ve accomplished three things with that single line of dialogue!  Congratulations.   By using action tags, you give us glimpses of the scene and the characater’s body language and you avoid the repetitive ‘said’.*
> 
> *Think Lightly *
> 
> *            The third leg of our dialogue tripod is our mental leg.  Often, we carry on a second ‘conversation’ inside our heads, especially when we’re talking with someone in authority, like a teacher or boss, where we can’t express our actual feelings without risk.  In first person, you are using internal monologue much of the time, of course, as our POV character carries on a one sided conversation with the reader.  This is a technique to use sparingly in third person.  Too much internal POV does tend to bog down the flow of the story in a third person POV piece.  It is more effective in first person POV.  But it is useful.  Let’s take a look at our evolving dialogue again.  *
> *“I don’t know.”  *
> *            “Neither do I.”  He stubbed out his cigarette in the brass ashtray, his trembling fingers sending it skidding down the polished teak of the bar.*
> *            She fixed her eyes on the blonde in the Armani suit, blinking rapidly.  “Well, what do we do now?” *
> *            “You tell me.”  As if you would.  He spun on his heel and pushed his way toward the door. *
> *            Here, we’ve added a brief snatch of thought: As if you would.  This is his unspoken addition to his spoken line.  What does it do for the dialogue?  Here, it lets us know clearly that he is our POV character, of course.  We don’t know what a non-POV character is thinking, unless we’re using omniscient POV.  It also gives us a sense of what he thinks about her at the moment.  He’s annoyed, not happy with her for some reason.  It is one of many small clues to his thoughts and feelings as a character that he will give us.  These internal insights allow you to deepen a character beyond his actions in the plot, so that we begin to think of him or her as a real person, and not just a cartoon character, or a cardboard cut out.   *
> *            So here, in our final interchange, we have a nice solid dialogue tripod.  We hear the characters’ voices, we see the scene and their reactions to the words, and we overhear a snatch of our POV character’s thoughts.  Remember that a tripod is a very stable form.  Next time you write dialogue, remember to create those three tripod legs, and see if your dialogue doesn’t suddenly come to life. *




Again, do not listen to this advice, because she is a woman.  :?


----------



## Sam

Truth-Teller said:


> So Stephen King is a beginner...



No, you're right. Stephen king isn't a beginner - he's actually diarrhoea of the word processor. Just because King does something one way, does that make it the Holy Writ, TT? 

Sam.


----------



## slayerofangels

I can't see why you'd need to find a different way of saying said, unless it was a dramatic, plot centric argument. Otherwise, said is short, quick and doesn't draw attention from the dialogue itself.


----------



## omginternetlord

Damn this thread is ancient.


----------



## Mike C

Yup, but it's obviously something that needs constant reinforcement.


----------



## Truth-Teller

King said to avoid adverbs at all cost.

He said to write is human; to _edit_ is divine. 

Look at the example he provides for you. He never even says he said or she said.


----------



## Katastrof

No Truth-teller, King did say that and word for word too. I'm not lying, I have _On Writing_ opened to page 122 (paperback edition) on my desk. If you want more:



> I will go on writing stupid lapses as *"You can't be serious," Bill said unbelievingly. *I expect you to do the same thing. There is a core simplicity to the English language and its American variant, but it's a slippery core. All I ask is that you do as well as you can, and remember that, while to write adverbs is human, to write *he said *or* she said *is divine. ~ Stephen King _On Writing_


----------



## seigfried007

Ugh...

All things in their time, TT. I've found no rules that cannot or should not be broken in some instances. 

Stephen King's On Writing is apparently full of much wise advice, but, as the author stated, you ought to simply do your best to avoid tripe. The occasional, 'replied' or 'asked' isn't a sin. The occasional adverb isn't a sin either. Same thing goes for passive writing and most other deadly sins of writing. What makes these things the marks of hacks is when they are over-implemented or drastically avoided until the writing sounds terrible. 

Good writing's what it's all about (not following the rules) and all things have their place in good writing.


----------



## Sam

It's because King couldn't give a toss at this stage, TT. He's already made his name, and therefore he can do whatever the hell he likes. Who's going to question him? The editor? I don't think so. He knows that King's name alone will sell the book, hence his allowance to let King write it however he wants. That doesn't mean that aspiring writers should follow King's style of writing like it's the rule of thumb. 

Sam.


----------



## Non Serviam

Cherryh's Law: No rule should be followed off a cliff.

C.J. Cherryh - Writerisms and Other Sins


----------



## Truth-Teller

But MikeC (and all his minions) said so! It's a sin to use colorful, purple adjectives and adverbs. 

It's a sin to use the word _retorted _or _scoffed, _because it sounds like crap! Or any of the lists in the front page.


----------



## Non Serviam

Lin's not a moderator.

But don't let the facts stop you ranting.


----------



## Fossy

"Oh Mike, Oh Holy One," Truth-Teller genuflected.

Mike looked down upon his students.

"Please don't use so many adverbs," he moderated.

"Yes, that's right, or you'll all end up falling off a cliff," Non Serviam mentored.

"Guys, please don't fight," Stephen Kinged, "Just do as I say, not as I do."

"Oh this is all so confusing," Fossy harkened, as she swooned in a puddle of despair.


----------



## Mike C

Fossy said:


> "Guys, please don't fight," Stephen Kinged, "Just do as I say, not as I do."



heh.


----------



## seigfried007

Nice work, Fossy


----------



## tepelus

This thread made me laugh!


----------



## mi is happy

Just say "said". Problem solved.


----------



## Linton Robinson

But try saying it different ways.   Like with a mouth full of helium.   Or in a sort of hysterical gay accent.   Or out of the side out your mouth.


----------



## Mike C

lin said:


> But try saying it different ways.   Like with a mouth full of helium.   Or in a sort of hysterical gay accent.   Or out of the side out your mouth.




Oh, that's good.


----------



## seigfried007

Or all three, lin. 

I know a guy who can speak Mandarin as a redneck Arnold Schwarzeneggar. Crossing accents and other modes of speech is tricky, but rewarding


----------



## WriterDude

Without bothering to read the entire thread (it's 4:27am...), here's my thoughts. The word "said" isn't a bad word, so feel free to use it. However, there are three things you should keep in mind. Don't overuse it, don't _avoid_ it and you can add another word to "fill in the blanks" in lack of better words. (again, I'm tired). An example.

"Do you think we should do this?" Steve said thoughtfully. 
_(when you read the word "thoughtfully", you know he's skeptical and doesn't really want an answer as he is more hinting to the others that this might be a bad idea. And btw, I didn't write "asked" as it wasn't really a question to anyone else, but more to himself.)_

"Do you think we should do this?" Steve said.
"Yes, we should," Bob said.
"But it is wrong," Steve said.
"We went over this earlier, Steve," Bob said.
_(overusing the word "said", making the conversation boring.)_

"Do you think we should do this?" Steve said thoughtfully.
"Yes, we should," Bob answered.
"But it is wrong," Steve said.
"We went over this earlier, Steve," Bob said, a bit annoyed.
_(simply by adding "thoughtfully", "annoyed" and "answered", we get to spam the word "said" quite a lot and still keep the conversation interesting. Besides, now we know Steve is skeptical, and Bob the obvious leader in their evil scheme.)_

Just my thoughts.


----------



## Truth-Teller

Where are you from again? Ireland?

Dude, that was utter crap. Try again. Or just learn from me. 

Here's my version:

"You think we should do this?" Steve asked, rubbing his hand.

"Yup." Rob said.

"You are so going to regret it."

"Try me."

"If you say so--" and Steve dropped a five pound cinderblock on the mid-morning traffic below.


----------



## WriterDude

It was utter crap, so I'm obvious from Ireland?  Thanks, that's so funny I'm putting it in my sig!


----------



## Mike C

WriterDude said:


> It was utter crap, so I'm obvious from Ireland?  Thanks, that's so funny I'm putting it in my sig!



TT won't be around to hear your comments for a while, WD.


----------



## Linton Robinson

Does that mean he's exiled?   Not a bad idea.
I'm NOT a big proponent of kicking people off forums (you should hear me whine when I get booted off them)   but TT was a special case and I was kind of amazed he continued with impunity.
He never posted any writing, he didn't critique, he never said anything positive or even pertinent, just spewed on people.

Still, he's kind of morbidly interesting, like having a warthog in your zoo or something.  Maybe his exile will be temporary and he'll change his ways.


----------



## Mike C

I understand the exile is temporary. Some admins have a degree of faith that leopards can buck the spot trend.


----------



## starseed

journyman161 said:


> Besides, 'said' is almost invisible in writing. Think of your favourite book with dialog. Did you notice excessive use of said? Now go & look at it. You will find 'said' liberaaly used - you just don't register it when you read unless the writing is crap.
> 
> This isn't my opinion, this is tested & proven



This is true. A lot of times while writing, I feel Im saying "said" too much.

"blah blah" said mike
"blah blah" said Mary...and so on.

I think overuse of of more colorful words could distract from what is actually being said. Of course you can use more action words that are common such as "giggled" "mocked" "whined". 

LOL at Fossy's post!

Im going to look at a bunch of books now, and notice how they do dialogue. I never really noticed "said" while reading, I just think it sounds weird while writing.

I think there are times also when two people are talking back and forth where you dont have to use said at all..sometimes you can just tell who is saying what or by using other things such as 

"I went to the store and something really weird happened.." She looked down and picked at a stray cat hair that was stuck to her jeans "Im not sure if I even want to talk about it"  etc.

I find this really interesting. Maybe we just over analyze what we write?


----------



## Mike C

starseed said:


> Of course you can use more action words that are common such as "giggled" "mocked" "whined".



Oh dear. You really haven't read the thread, have you? 

No, you can't.


----------



## starseed

Mike C said:


> No, it can't. And you shouldn't be looking for words to prop up a description, you should be looking to make the dialoge convey all the description you need. If you have to add a tag like 'barked' or whatever to a piece of dialogue, it's becuase you haven't written the passage well enough. I should know what tone of voice is being used through the preceding action and the dialogue itself.
> 
> Go read a book. Look at the dialogue and see how rarely these junk words are used and how common the use of 'said' is.



Ok I see your point. And no, I didnt read the entire thread before I posted. I was in a hurry and just wanted to add my two cents. Sorry!


----------



## winner

Yrael,

I am glad you posted all that. I printed it out and am already making use of it with my manuscript.


----------



## RSD

"I absolutely think it is a horrible idea to use anything other than the word said," Tom ejaculated from his mouth. "Unless of course you wanted to curb the incessant desire to adhere to monotony," he reneged contrarily.

By the way. You forgot *queried* under *Q*. :grin:


----------



## Rustgold

mammamaia said:


> nor can words be 'applauded' out of someone's mouth, or 'shuddered'...


 "It was horrible," she shuddered at recalling . . .
"You were absolutely fantastic," he applauded.
Very basic I know, but they give a sentence extra depth in particular incidences.  Of course said could be used in both, but it's not the same.

I would suggest bossed or squeaked, but the thread creator was 2005 and last post in thread was 2008.  Maybe if there was a new list or something.


----------



## KarlR

Nice dredge, Rust.  Thanks for bringing it to the fore!  I especially enjoyed the general flaming and Fossy's contribution on page 8.  Great way to kill a Sunday morning!


----------



## garza

Anything other than 'said' detracts from the dialogue.


----------



## AceTachyon

"Said."  Just "said."

"He said" and "She said" are good alternatives.

Sometimes, the name of the character speaking. "Said Jim." Or "Ellen said."

That's all you need.


----------



## alanmt

I am mostly, but not entirely in agreement with Garza and Ace. Other words are okay occasionally.  "asked" , for instance.  But by and large "said" works best and readers' minds jump over it naturally, so it doesn't seem repetitious in the way other words do.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Rustgold said:


> "It was horrible," she shuddered at recalling . . .
> "You were absolutely fantastic," he applauded.
> Very basic I know, but they give a sentence extra depth in particular incidences.  Of course said could be used in both, but it's not the same.
> 
> I would suggest bossed or squeaked, but the thread creator was 2005 and last post in thread was 2008.  Maybe if there was a new list or something.





I would totally oppose using a word that is not sound related to describe something said

"It was horrible" she quavered, shuddering at the recollection.
He applauded, "You were fantastic" he shouted.

Would be okay, the action is separate from the sound. The nearest I could get would be nodding assent, but you can't nod yes.

Looking back through that there are some lovely double entendres there


----------



## AceTachyon

Olly Buckle said:


> I would totally oppose using a word that is not sound related to describe something said
> 
> "It was horrible" she quavered, shuddering at the recollection.
> He applauded, "You were fantastic" he shouted.
> 
> Would be okay, the action is separate from the sound. The nearest I could get would be nodding assent, but you can't nod yes.


I'd further rewrite that first line as:
_"It was horrible," she said. Her voice shook, and she wrapped her arms around herself and shuddered, remembering._

But that's just me. YMMV.


----------



## WriterJohnB

My last editor/publisher combo went through my entire book and took out any dialogue attributions such as "said John" and changed them to "John said".  They also refused to allow any sentences that began with a preposition, even in dialogue.

To me, writing should flow, and using "said bookisms" to avoid use of the word said breaks that flow. And, when sometimes there's a group of characters talking, I use "said John" to break the _stutter in the flow caused by repetition of "He said/she said."_

JohnB


----------



## BigBossTripod

Elmore Leonard is an advocate of 'said' and not a lot else. For me and others, he's one of the best when it comes to dialogue.


----------



## SilkFX

Well, I know from this thread that I've been a member of this board for at least four years... 

I stand by my original post. "Said" and "asked" take care of 98% of your dialogue tag needs.



AceTachyon said:


> I'd further rewrite that first line as:
> _"It was horrible," she said. Her voice shook, and she wrapped her arms around herself and shuddered, remembering._
> 
> But that's just me. YMMV.



My varying mileage right here:

_"It was horrible." Her voice shook. She shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself._

No dialogue tag in sight...


----------



## Atys

I'm afraid that I haven't read through every post in this thread, as it goes for many pages, but it's worth saying that I'm a primary school teacher, and I have to teach the children that using 'powerful' words makes their writing seem more interesting. It grates, and every time I do teach it I immediately tell them 'but you should still use said if you're writing a long piece of work' or something similar. I don't limit the use of the word 'said' in my class's writing.

Nice, on the other hand...


----------



## Forest Girl

Here's what I know. 
For almost nine years I had a job that kept me on the road. 
I listened to audiobooks often.

And long dialogue passages that went 'he said' / 'she said' would often cause me to stop listening to the book.
It sounded awful and drove me nuts.


----------



## bazz cargo

I thought I was daring using 'whispered' as a substitute for said.

I'm still a tyro at writing, but the said rule seems to be elastic, use it or abuse it, and let the reader decide. Mind you I like the list, it gives me inspiration.

My own humble effort

"It's glue," he said stickily.


----------



## Rustgold

I think that some are to stuck on a narrow rulebook.
Pages of he said, she said are horrible.
Deliberately avoiding the word said in favor of something more descriptive often isn't an improvement.

Choosing what word to use (if any at all), should be a simple question of whether it improves what you've written.  Words other than said do have a place; however you should be careful on how much is used, else you'll end up with a hot chocolate with too much sugar in it.

And yes, I've personally written some very cringeworthy advised, disputed, argued, pleaded lines.


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## JosephB

I just try to use as few dialog tags as possible. You can easily use them every 3 or 4 lines, or even less, if you know what you're doing. When editing, I remove them until I reach the point where it isn't clear whose speaking. Sometimes, if the voice of the character is strong and if you intersperse bits of action that you can attribute to the people speaking, you can use very few of them. And a "whispered" or "shouted" or "mumbled" is fine in moderation. Those are more of a kind of description to me -- because they tell the reader how it sounds -- unlike, "he opined" or some of the more lame things you see.


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## Tala

Yes, I shuddered when I wrote 'he shuddered' recently..now will have to rethink. I read Stephen King's book (cannot remember title right now) on how to write, he dislikes all of the he/she sighed deeply, shorted loudly.. etc. He is big on 'said'. I am a novice, so love to hear everyone's views. I am writing a children's book.. I see JK  Rowling uses a lot of 'he grunted', 'hissed', 'snapped' etc (sometimes with a 'loudly' thrown in here and there) so guess there is no right or wrong. They are great writers (she opined).


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## ProwerGirl

Overuse of 'said' is what turned me off the Harry Potter series. Simply too many saids...But underusing it can bore your readers, too. After all, your characters can't just bellow and mutter or whisper things all the time, can they? I'll be sure to keep this list nearby, though...


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## Tala

Hi Joseph B.

Yes I agree with you in part, but mine has lots of dialogue. I was joking about the 'opined' by the way. I love to hear everyone's views, been working in the dark for so long.. I guess there is no perfect way.


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## Rustgold

“You see those men over there,” Alice said, pointing to three armed uniformed men, “They’ll kill us if we’re found.”

“Shouldn’t you be whispering then,” Wendy said.

“How about you,” Alice said, “We’re hiding in bushes and you’re speaking as if we’re across a room.”

“Yes well, we’re not supposed to say anything other than said,” Wendy said, “It’s the law.”

“So no whispering,” Alice said.

“Only said,” Wendy said, nodding her head.

‘Bang bang bang,’ said the gun.

“I think the girls said too much,” one man said to the others.  The girls would say no more.


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## Kyle R

ROFL! Greatest story ever.

Although to be fair, using "whispered" in all those tags would be horrendous, too. One way would just be to state, at the very beginning, _

Alice and Wendy crouched in the bushes and began to whisper._

Then you can have straight dialogue with no tags at all, punctuated only by narration when desired. :encouragement:


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## Terry D

Large chunks of dialogue are a good place to use the technique of reading what you have written out loud.  You will quickly hear if your tags become repetitive, or if they disrupt the flow of the writing.  I was going to say; "write by ear" but I didn't want to be responsible for all the injuries which would occur when well meaning readers started slamming the sides of their heads into the keyboard :beaten:


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## starseed

Mike C said:


> Oh dear. You really haven't read the thread, have you?
> 
> No, you can't.



Haha, that post of mine was sooooo old.  I had barely started as a writer back then. I learned, believe me. 

Now my rules are:

1) Use nothing, if possible. Whenever I can I let the dialogue make it obvious who is speaking.
2) When that doesn't work, use said.
3) Occasionally I use something else like "asked" but rarely. To convey laughter or action, I talk about it verses using it as a dialogue tag.


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## Gamer_2k4

bazz cargo said:


> "It's glue," he said stickily.



I believe that's what's known as a "Tom Swiftie."


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## Rustgold

Terry D said:


> I was going to say; "write by ear" but I didn't want to be responsible for all the injuries which would occur when well meaning readers started slamming the sides of their heads into the keyboard :beaten:


Why not?  Ok, I'll claim responsibility.

You should 'write by ear' folks.


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## starseed

Tala said:


> Yes, I shuddered when I wrote 'he shuddered' recently..now will have to rethink. I read Stephen King's book (cannot remember title right now) on how to write, he dislikes all of the he/she sighed deeply, shorted loudly.. etc. He is big on 'said'. I am a novice, so love to hear everyone's views. I am writing a children's book.. I see JK  Rowling uses a lot of 'he grunted', 'hissed', 'snapped' etc (sometimes with a 'loudly' thrown in here and there) so guess there is no right or wrong. They are great writers (she opined).



"Snapped" is one of the ones I will throw in there when it just sounds right. I can't explain why but _very _occasionally one of these words will sound good to me. There are no set rules.... and even if there are they can be broken sometimes.


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## Bloggsworth

"Ouch! You just stood on my toe" Mary ululated.


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## Rustgold

Bloggsworth said:


> "Ouch! You just stood on my toe" Mary ululated.


I read that and thought she pissed on her foot, maybe to piddle it better.


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## Mortimer

"Said" is a very flexible word and rarely has to be replaced, as it helps the flow of the story. Often writers skip it to a large part in their dialogues, using it only at the beginning and then going directly to expressing emotes and emotions... 

In some cases substitutes are more accurate, but that's just common sense explained. If your character is in pain, it makes sense to say what he says in "scream" or "grunt", and if he agrees with someone, then, why, it makes sense to use "agree" as a verb. When your character is making a boast, a formal announcement, or giving a quote of importance that impacts the story, "declare" is good to use, and that is common sense too. There is little science in writing, and I think lists with "said" substitutes are only going to make your writing more artificial.


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## Robdemanc

The word said is so commonly understood that most of the time readers do not even read it.  Replacing it with something else will force them to notice that the author has decided to use a word other than 'said'.


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## starseed

Do they sticky things on this forum? If so, this thread should be sticky-ed !!!!


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## The Backward OX

As so many others have already said, the only word to use is "said". Use of any of the others listed in Post #1 does nothing except show the writer's ineptitude with words. Take "grumbled" for example; if the speaker is grumbling, that grumbling needs to be shown with writing that gives the reader a picture of what a miserable old coot the speaker is. If you can't do that, you need a different hobby.


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## Kyle R

"As so many others have already said, the only word to use is 'said'. Use of any of the others listed in Post #1 does nothing except show the writer's ineptitude with words. Take 'grumbled' for example; if the speaker is grumbling, that grumbling needs to be shown with writing that gives the reader a picture of what a miserable old coot the speaker is. If you can't do that, you need a different hobby," *he grumbled.

* (Kidding!)


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## Gamer_2k4

KyleColorado said:


> "As so many others have already said, the only word to use is 'said'. Use of any of the others listed in Post #1 does nothing except show the writer's ineptitude with words. Take 'grumbled' for example; if the speaker is grumbling, that grumbling needs to be shown with writing that gives the reader a picture of what a miserable old coot the speaker is. If you can't do that, you need a different hobby," *he grumbled.
> 
> * (Kidding!)



You're forgetting that these words indicate not only what kind of sentence the dialogue is, but also how it's spoken.

"If you can't do that, you need a different hobby," he grumbled.
"If you can't do that, you need a different hobby," he complained.
"If you can't do that, you need a different hobby," he whined.
"If you can't do that, you need a different hobby," he sighed.

To me, each of those words indicate different inflections and moods in the preceding sentences.  While one can make the argument that ultimately it's up to the reader's interpretation, it's a bit of a stretch to say the descriptors are inept writing.


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## JosephB

I guess you missed the "kidding" part accompanied by the smiling emoticon. He's taking a poke at what OX said above.


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## Gamer_2k4

Quoted the wrong person. =P


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## jayelle_cochran

Wow...I just noticed that this post has been going on for 8 years.

Personally I use the word 'said' most and don't usually worry about it.  Sometimes I'll use another word to show something specific.  I might use 'asked' or 'yelled' or whatever.  Usually though, I don't use anything.  If the dialogue is between the same people, I either won't use anything or I will use something else to refer to whomever is speaking if it's really needed and 'said' just won't work.  

Jason sighed.  "I don't know what to do."

or

Sara looked at him thoughtfully.  "If that's what you truly want."

I generally reserve those for if there are more than two people involved and it doesn't seem clear who is talking but 'Jason said,' or 'Sara said,' doesn't seem to fit right.  I have a thing about the way words flow together.  If what I write causes an unintentional pause in reading, then I change things until it reads the way I want (first looking at punctuation, then sentence structure, and finally individual words that I might be hung up on).  

I don't do this because I don't want to write 'said' a lot or think it looks bad.  Instead of worrying too much about that, I just look for what reads best.

As for the list at the beginning of the thread...those are all great words but I would caution about using too many alternatives.  I forget who said it, but I once read a quote where someone mentioned that using a thesaurus is one of the worst things a writer can do.  I still use them, but not for substitutions. I've always felt that if you need to look up substitutions then it's not the individual words that are the problem...it's the way you're writing that particular passage.

Just my thoughts...

*hugs*
Jayelle


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## Duncan Nicholson

Very impressive list.  Even though most of the time I use "said," I know there will be times when one of those words will fit the story better.


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## Moxis

journyman25461 said:
			
		

> Besides, 'said' is almost invisible in writing. Think of your favourite book with dialog. Did you notice excessive use of said? Now go & look at it. You will find 'said' liberaaly used - you just don't register it when you read unless the writing is crap.
> 
> This isn't my opinion, this is tested & proven



Harry Potter the first book beat me over the head with said. Every line of text said every character said everything said. I liked the book but it was hard to read at times, and I had to recover from the beat down of said 
And to show the evolution of this writer look at later in the sieres there is less use of said and there is more use of more discriptive , flaverful words


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