# Breaking your neck for others !!



## want2learn (Sep 2, 2014)

Hello everyone, 

have you noticed how when you break your neck for someone, and they turn the table and do nothing for you ?

I sometimes feel like I go out of my way for others, seems like they don't, it really is driving me crazy ?

Perhaps I just need to stop getting myself involved in other people's issues and keep myself and my opinion to myself.

 / end of rant !


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## Plasticweld (Sep 2, 2014)

I feel just the opposite.  I go out of my way to help someone out, I do it for the reason that I can.  I have a very large collection of friends, some are those who I helped out and some are those who helped me out.  The ability to pay a person back with appreciation is a gift that not everyone has. 


I can think of nothing more in-powering than helping someone out and being able to make a difference.  I can think of nothing that will gain my respect and my good will than some who is willing to help me out. 



A miner moves many tons of worthless gravel to find a few specs of gold, keep than in mind when you deal with people and you won't be so disapointed


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## Blade (Sep 2, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> A miner moves many tons of worthless gravel to find a few specs of gold, keep than in mind when you deal with people and you won't be so disapointed



Good point. If you feel someone has not appreciated your efforts or becomes more demanding you always have the option of declining your assistance to them in the future.[-X


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## want2learn (Sep 2, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> I feel just the opposite.  I go out of my way to help someone out, I do it for the reason that I can.  I have a very large collection of friends, some are those who I helped out and some are those who helped me out.  The ability to pay a person back with appreciation is a gift that not everyone has.
> 
> 
> I can think of nothing more in-powering than helping someone out and being able to make a difference.  I can think of nothing that will gain my respect and my good will than some who is willing to help me out.
> ...



Plasticweld, 

I respect that and the way you have described it is very emotional and empowering, however do you ever feel like some people just take it too far, were you end
up feeling disrespected.

Sometimes I do wonder whether my issues would be a lot less, if I just keep my gob to myself.

Also at the same time I do want to help, that is just my nature, however at the same time I do feel crap when its the other way around.


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## Deleted member 56686 (Sep 2, 2014)

want2learn, I always try to go by the Golden Rule, treat those as you yourself would want to be treated. If you're true to yourself things tend to work out in the long run.


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## want2learn (Sep 2, 2014)

mrmustard615 said:


> want2learn, I always try to go by the Golden Rule, treat those as you yourself would want to be treated. If you're true to yourself things tend to work out in the long run.



Thank you Mustard for the inspiring words, but now a days I am starting to feel that it is very hard to live by those specific words. I always feel like I am
the one at the end of the stick, but I will try and lets see the results .


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## Miles-Kirk (Sep 2, 2014)

I find it a good mantra to leave by that you shouldn't give to receive. Of course, in friendship, you expect your friends to be there in hard times like you were there for them. If I can help someone out I will, even if they don;t back, I know at least I am staying true to who I am. 

When people stop reciprocating, that's when a friendship starts to fade. If they don't want to be my friend, their loss really. Maybe I'm being arrogant and harsh, I don't know.


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## BobtailCon (Sep 2, 2014)

I do not trust others, and I only help those who request it. These couple things have kept me out of trouble, and keep me from having issues with my friendships.


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## Plasticweld (Sep 2, 2014)

want2learn said:


> Plasticweld,
> 
> I respect that and the way you have described it is very emotional and empowering, however do you ever feel like some people just take it too far, were you end
> up feeling disrespected.
> ...




All of the time, most of my deeds are punished.  Don't get me wrong, there is a better chance that you will be shit on for being a stand up guy than minding your own business. 

That being said, I know of no other man that has as many close friends as I do, or people around them that can be counted on when everything goes bad. 


Lots of people owe me money, lots of people owe me favors, lots of people have my stuff that they borrowed that I will never see.  

I have become wealthy because of what I do, built businesses and been able to enjoy some of the finer things in life because I was the first to extend my hand. 


I wish I were all fairy tale like, it is not.  Do I get tired, I am exhausted at times, worn down, worn out.  At the same time I thrive on the un-known, the risk, the danger.  While I view myself as an extreme example in both failures and success, I do know that if you think only of yourself, if self preservation is all you have then you have very little.  

I have felt the best in life when doing something for someone else with no other motive than to just help.  I have felt the worst when I realize that my efforts and time were wasted and taken advantage of. 

I will say my life is a roller coaster ride but it beats the merry go round every time.  Hop on, come ride the roller coaster with me...Bob


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## Guy Faukes (Sep 2, 2014)

Gotta be careful who you put your neck out for. Not everyone deserves it.


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## TheFuhrer02 (Sep 2, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> I feel just the opposite.  I go out of my way to help someone out, I do it for the reason that I can.



Very commendable of you, sir.

As for me, I only do such things when I feel generous. When I'm not in the mood, its dog-eat-dog.


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## Pandora (Sep 3, 2014)

I help others for myself, it's selfish I know but a working relationship that we both get something out of. I think about the people who use me, I know they do, they fool. That doesn't matter in the big picture though because of the light that is created. It is warm if you let it be, that's all that matters in the end.


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## farahnaazz (Sep 3, 2014)

whatever we do we do for god
and it is only god ho is going to reward us for our good deed
so dont expect anything from gods creation
expect everything more than everything
from god
thats how you can be peaceful


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## Jeko (Sep 3, 2014)

> have you noticed how when you break your neck for someone, and they turn the table and do nothing for you ?



Yes; I sometimes prefer it when they don't. It means I can keep doing the right thing even though I'm probably not going to get anything back for it, which gives me the opportunity to practice my Christianity better.


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## want2learn (Sep 4, 2014)

BobtailCon said:


> I do not trust others, and I only help those who request it. These couple things have kept me out of trouble, and keep me from having issues with my friendships.


Bob, why do you not trust others ?
Also don't get me wrong I don't give to get something back I just wish that I was at the receiving end sometimes


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## want2learn (Sep 4, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> All of the time, most of my deeds are punished.  Don't get me wrong, there is a better chance that you will be shit on for being a stand up guy than minding your own business.
> 
> That being said, I know of no other man that has as many close friends as I do, or people around them that can be counted on when everything goes bad.
> 
> ...



My oh my, you sir are one of kind, I hope to never become that self-absorbed that I end up being totally selfish, I do want people around me and I guess 
my biggest fear is ending up alone.


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## want2learn (Sep 4, 2014)

Pandora said:


> I help others for myself, it's selfish I know but a working relationship that we both get something out of. I think about the people who use me, I know they do, they fool. That doesn't matter in the big picture though because of the light that is created. It is warm if you let it be, that's all that matters in the end.



I guess I am like that sometimes, and also growing up in a big family, I've never been given much chance to only take myself into account.
However, that doesn't necessarily mean I am selfish, but at times it feels like when I do want to be just slightly selfish it  hits me in the face, perhaps I 
just come across the wrong way.

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farahnaazz said:


> whatever we do we do for god
> and it is only god ho is going to reward us for our good deed
> so dont expect anything from gods creation
> expect everything more than everything
> ...



Farah, you are very right but as humans we are quick to forget and even quicker to respond !!


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## want2learn (Sep 4, 2014)

Cadence said:


> Yes; I sometimes prefer it when they don't. It means I can keep doing the right thing even though I'm probably not going to get anything back for it, which gives me the opportunity to practice my Christianity better.



Cadence, you are very right but I guess when your in the moment it makes you feel as if your feeling are never taken into account.


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## Kevin (Sep 4, 2014)

People do what they want to do. They speed so they get a ticket. They drink so they don't show up for work. They drink and speed so they get a 502. Then they ask you to feel sorry for them. They don't pay the ticket which goes to warrant and then your sister is saying 'Please, I need money to bail my poor worthless son out of jail.' The filthy snowball collects as it tumbles as well as the white and I've got bills to pay.
 So I am the jerk who refuses...


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## Pandora (Sep 4, 2014)

want2learn said:


> I guess I am like that sometimes, and also growing up in a big family, I've never been given much chance to only take myself into account.
> However, that doesn't necessarily mean I am selfish, but at times it feels like when I do want to be just slightly selfish it  hits me in the face, perhaps I
> just come across the wrong way.


Selfish in that it feels good to be good to others. I like feeling good, so win win. People are incredibly disappointing, it is how we are made, we are growing and learning. This is true of you, me, everyone. When we know this we tend to expect less.  All we can do is consciously be the best we can be.


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## want2learn (Sep 4, 2014)

Pandora said:


> Selfish in that it feels good to be good to others. I like feeling good, so win win.* People are incredibly disappointing, it is how we are made, we are growing and learning. This is true of you, me, everyone. When we know this we tend to expect less.  All we can do is consciously be the best we can be.*



Those are wise words, and I hope to live by them, thanks for cheering me up Pandora.


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## BobtailCon (Sep 4, 2014)

want2learn said:


> Bob, why do you not trust others ?



I do not trust others because in the end there will be a situation where you get screwed over. Don't think that my lack of trust in others means I live a miserable life. I am very wealthy in both material means and in means of friendship. But, my friends do understand that lack of trust and we all play our cards close to our chests.



want2learn said:


> Also don't get me wrong I don't give to get something back I just wish that I was at the receiving end sometimes



I know how you feel, if I help someone, they understand they owe me a favor. If you are truly in need of my help, I'll help you. But understand that when I am down, you must help me aswell.


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## Plasticweld (Sep 4, 2014)

Kevin said:


> People do what they want to do. They speed so they get a ticket. They drink so they don't show up for work. They drink and speed so they get a 502. Then they ask you to feel sorry for them. They don't pay the ticket which goes to warrant and then your sister is saying 'Please, I need money to bail my poor worthless son out of jail.' The filthy snowball collects as it tumbles as well as the white and I've got bills to pay.
> So I am the jerk who refuses...




Kevin I wouldn't help in that instance either.  

I am willing to help just about anyone so that it makes a difference, if me helping you only means you can be lazy or encourages more bad behavior than it would be wrong.


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## Seedy M. (Sep 4, 2014)

I trust all the wrong people and end up getting screwed and disappointed in people I thought were worthwhile, but only in the past few years. Nine in a row made me feel I was accomplishing something positive.
Tonight is a case in point. a student who I have tried to help turned out to be one disgusting example of a lazy bum. I have done without to help him, then he feels somehow entitled to use me.
Well, I'm through being a doormat for that a..hole.
Of course, my being a doormat type means another will be along immediately.
I have a degree in this crap, would you believe? I know exactly what's going on and keep right on believing in people-
Does the word "stupid" occur to anyone?


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## InstituteMan (Sep 4, 2014)

Good karma is slow to come around, but it does. I'm with Plastic on this one. Doing good for others without expecting to be paid back has paid me back seven-fold -- it just took a long while.


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## Seedy M. (Sep 4, 2014)

I don't have a long while. The truth is that the karma thing worked very well for seventy years, then went the way of the dinosaurs. Every time I think I'm on the bottom and there's no way but up I learn the truth of the matter.
Three people I've helped turned on me, and that this year. When I need help, there is no one on the horizon.
Pragmatism must take over. I'm through giving so much of myself there's nothing left but bloody tatters.
So I'm down and disgusted. Maybe this time I'll develop the spine to go through with it - but I strongly recommend against taking bets. I'm a type. We're called doormats.
You'd never guess that I've taken medicine for parasites (something you learn to live with in the tropics) and three beers, would you?


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## want2learn (Sep 6, 2014)

Seedy M. said:


> I trust all the wrong people and end up getting screwed and disappointed in people I thought were worthwhile, but only in the past few years. Nine in a row made me feel I was accomplishing something positive.
> Tonight is a case in point. a student who I have tried to help turned out to be one disgusting example of a lazy bum. I have done without to help him, then he feels somehow entitled to use me.
> Well, I'm through being a doormat for that a..hole.
> Of course, my being a doormat type means another will be along immediately.
> ...



You are not the only one, and I feel for you because it's very hard to change certain habits, not to mention that I also have that little bit of hope
in people that they change, or that they see things my way.

In the words of a wise quote I read somewhere (don't remember exactly where )
"Just because you are fair to this world, does not mean the world will be fair to you".

Lately however, I am starting through reading the various replies on here that perhaps in life there are just certain things that one 
should keep to themselves and try to keep certain opinions in your heard rather than spew it out immediately (I am very much guilty of this).

Then again, life in itself is a learning curve and may I ask if it is all right what exactly you was helping the student with ?


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## want2learn (Sep 6, 2014)

BobtailCon said:


> I do not trust others because in the end there will be a situation where you get screwed over. Don't think that my lack of trust in others means I live a miserable life. I am very wealthy in both material means and in means of friendship. But, my friends do understand that lack of trust and we all play our cards close to our chests.
> 
> 
> 
> *I know how you feel, if I help someone, they understand they owe me a favor. If you are truly in need of my help, I'll help you. But understand that when I am down, you must help me aswell.*



Bob, I do agree with that it should be a two way street, however I am starting to believe that perhaps things just aren't as we want it to be. 
Also in terms of the trusting situation, I guess I can't judge unless I have lived it, so I am happy for you that your happy.

I guess we live in a society whereby we see certain ways as a norm and others as alien.

- - - Updated - - -



BobtailCon said:


> I do not trust others because in the end there will be a situation where you get screwed over. Don't think that my lack of trust in others means I live a miserable life. I am very wealthy in both material means and in means of friendship. But, my friends do understand that lack of trust and we all play our cards close to our chests.
> 
> 
> 
> *I know how you feel, if I help someone, they understand they owe me a favor. If you are truly in need of my help, I'll help you. But understand that when I am down, you must help me aswell.*



Bob, I do agree with that it should be a two way street, however I am starting to believe that perhaps things just aren't as we want it to be. 
Also in terms of the trusting situation, I guess I can't judge unless I have lived it, so I am happy for you that your happy.

I guess we live in a society whereby we see certain ways as a norm and others as alien.


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## want2learn (Sep 6, 2014)

InstituteMan said:


> Good karma is slow to come around, but it does. I'm with Plastic on this one. Doing good for others without expecting to be paid back has paid me back seven-fold -- it just took a long while.



I hope I live to see it.


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## Blade (Sep 6, 2014)

InstituteMan said:


> Good karma is slow to come around, but it does. I'm with Plastic on this one. Doing good for others without expecting to be paid back has paid me back seven-fold -- it just took a long while.



I think being a good and helpful person pays off for you over the long haul even if justice flounders in specific situations. Having a good reputation is something that works for you in mysterious ways.:eagerness:


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## want2learn (Sep 6, 2014)

Seedy M. said:


> I don't have a long while. The truth is that the karma thing worked very well for seventy years, then went the way of the dinosaurs. Every time I think I'm on the bottom and there's no way but up I learn the truth of the matter.
> Three people I've helped turned on me, and that this year. When I need help, there is no one on the horizon.
> Pragmatism must take over. I'm through giving so much of myself there's nothing left but bloody tatters.
> So I'm down and disgusted. Maybe this time I'll develop the spine to go through with it - but I strongly recommend against taking bets. I'm a type. We're called doormats.
> You'd never guess that I've taken medicine for parasites (something you learn to live with in the tropics) and three beers, would you?



Many times we expect people to just be there but lately I am starting to live a life whereby if I want something I will ask for it, if I need to talk to someone I will talk.
I am not saying that you have not done that its just I used to have such expectation expecting, people to contact me when I never contacted them.

Anyways I am rambling on not really sure what to say.. but I hope you are ok


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## Deleted member 56686 (Sep 6, 2014)

Look at this way want2learn. If the person you help doesn't show any appreciation or wants to help you back, somewhere down the road a total stranger may end up helping you no questions asked. Most of us ultimately want to do the right thing.


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## want2learn (Sep 6, 2014)

mrmustard615 said:


> Look at this way want2learn. If the person you help doesn't show any appreciation or wants to help you back, somewhere down the road a total stranger may end up helping you no questions asked. Most of us ultimately want to do the right thing.



Thanks for the inspiring words, and I hope through kindness to be helped sometime


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