# Pocket Change Capitalism



## Mesafalcon (Oct 8, 2015)

opinions run rampant
outlooks are bleak
politicians speeches all weak

anything for a rhyme
slave labor for a dime
usually a waste of time

shopping malls across the land
each sporting a shallow fountain
to throw nickels, quarters, and pennies in


----------



## kbsmith (Oct 9, 2015)

this is remarkable. good poem. it highlights alot of the modern social madness. I've got alot of those feelings in me, too. Thanks for arranging these letters in such a way to capture thoughts with such intelligence.


----------



## escorial (Oct 9, 2015)

like the short bold piece..second stanza i especially enjoyed with the endings being the same letters and if you mix up the 3 letters at the start you get usa


----------



## Mesafalcon (Oct 9, 2015)

escorial said:


> like the short bold piece..second stanza i especially enjoyed with the endings being the same letters and if you mix up the 3 letters at the start you get usa



Thanks. 

That's actually a great idea.


----------



## -xXx- (Oct 9, 2015)

*makes a wish*
*watches copper drift to mosaic floor*


----------



## Firemajic (Oct 9, 2015)

First verse, fabulous... last line.. I have a problem with the end word choice... but heeey. opinions run rampant...lol.. good stuff, strong message andI think most will agree...


----------



## Bard_Daniel (Oct 9, 2015)

I particularly liked your final stanza. That shone out at me as the crowning achievement of the poem.

Keep up the good work!


----------



## Mesafalcon (Oct 13, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> I have a problem with the end word choice... but heeey. opinions run rampant...lol.. good stuff, strong message andI think most will agree...



The end choice words are why this is called "Pocket Change Capatalism." I wanted to mention all the small change in the poem - _pennies, nickles, quaters, and dimes_.


----------



## Firemajic (Oct 13, 2015)

in


----------



## Amnesiac (Oct 13, 2015)

Hope and change... The rich hope to get richer, the poor go to war, and the rest of us middle-class slobs: All we're left with, is pocket change.


----------



## Mesafalcon (Oct 13, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> in



Ya, I am not crazy about that myself... it is a slight rhyme on "fountain"

I am open to suggestions cause I could not think of a fitting rhyme with fountain - so I settled.

Thanks.


----------



## Firemajic (Oct 14, 2015)

Mesafalcon said:


> opinions run rampant
> outlooks are bleak
> politicians speeches all weak
> 
> ...




shopping malls sporting shallow fountains
each so beautifully arranged
toss in your nickels and pennies,make a wish for change 

something like that, maybe... good work though... love your style...


----------



## Mesafalcon (Oct 16, 2015)

Firemajic said:


> shopping malls sporting shallow fountains
> each so beautifully arranged
> toss in your nickels and pennies,make a wish for change
> 
> something like that, maybe... good work though... love your style...





not crazy about the word "beautifully" for this... but sounds alright. good suggestion.


----------



## Firemajic (Oct 16, 2015)

ha haaaa... right.. I can see how "Beautifully" fails... but what I wanted for you to try.. was to drive home [with the last line of your poem]the title... because the title really sums up your fabulous poem...so, make your last line the climax of your poem...


----------



## inkwellness (Oct 16, 2015)

I have an idea that I think might strengthen the first stanza.


> opinions run rampant
> outlooks are bleak
> politicians speeches all weak



Last line might be changed to:

opinions run rampant
outlooks are bleak
politicians make speeches, all weak

This would add a verb to make each of the 3 lines of the stanza consistent. Remember, this is just my opinion, take it with a grain of salt. 

Otherwise,  great poem, solid message. Thanks!


----------

