# Archeology



## CrimsonAngel223 (Jun 19, 2018)

Companions of the north
You’re a compass skull.

Cycolpsefeet for arrows
_N, E, S, W, NW, etc_
_for systematic overriding _
_flesh._

Swallow pilgrimages
Surf like Jacobean 
Chevaliers.

Snag glimpses of hills
bending high and low 
campaigning


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## andrewclunn (Jun 23, 2018)

I like the play of calling pointed compass arrows cyclops feet (as single toed feet much like how the cyclops has one eye), though the typo is spelling and spacing made it difficult to catch the first go around.


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## CrimsonAngel223 (Jun 24, 2018)

Oh I realized cyclops was spelt wrong thanks for noticing that. Spellchecker was supposed to spell it correctly.


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## cacian (Jun 28, 2018)

very impressive piece of writing.
I like archeology. It is fascinating.
Much enjoyed I would not change anything.


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## Firemajic (Jun 28, 2018)

CrimsonAngel223 said:


> Companions of the north
> You’re a compass skull.
> 
> Cycolpsefeet for arrows
> ...




Hello, CrimsonAngel... Could you please explain in what context are you using the word "Chevaliers".... and how this stanza works with the rest of the poem? Because as it reads, I don't have a clue as to the message... imagery, and clever use of words and phrases are meaningless unless... well, unless they MEAN something...
Poetry is about sharing your message, right? Your reader reads your poem to gain something... right? Poetry is all about the MESSAGE.... Imagery, mood, Tone, structure...ect.. are all tools a poet uses to ENHANCE the MESSAGE...


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## CrimsonAngel223 (Jun 28, 2018)

Firemajic said:


> Hello, CrimsonAngel... Could you please explain in what context are you using the word "Chevaliers".... and how this stanza works with the rest of the poem? Because as it reads, I don't have a clue as to the message... imagery, and clever use of words and phrases are meaningless unless... well, unless they MEAN something...
> Poetry is about sharing your message, right? Your reader reads your poem to gain something... right? Poetry is all about the MESSAGE.... Imagery, mood, Tone, structure...ect.. are all tools a poet uses to ENHANCE the MESSAGE...



The poem is a metaphor for a journey. Chevialer is a knight right? So these knight are campagining somewhere amd the poem is a metaphor for it.


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## Robbie (Jun 28, 2018)

I didn’t intend to thank. I meant to thank Fire. Sorry CA.


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## Robbie (Jun 28, 2018)

Campaigning for what?


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## Firemajic (Jun 28, 2018)

CrimsonAngel223 said:


> Companions of the north
> You’re a compass skull.
> 
> Cycolpsefeet for arrows
> ...





CrimsonAngel223 said:


> The poem is a metaphor for a journey. Chevialer is a knight right? So these knight are campagining somewhere amd the poem is a metaphor for it.



Thank you for answering my question, I appreciate it... 
Knights are usually on a specific quest, going to a specific place, for a specific reason.. all of that is missing in your poem... To make a metaphor work, it needs certain things... one of the things needed is information....if not handled properly, and with skill... the metaphor will not make sense... thus, your poem will not make sense, and your message will be lost...


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## Firemajic (Jun 28, 2018)

CrimsonAngel223 said:


> Companions of the north
> You’re a compass skull.
> 
> Cycolpsefeet for arrows
> ...



Here is one of the most common metaphors: " My Sister is the black sheep of the family"... Can you tell me why this is a metaphor? What does being a "black sheep" mean?.... One needs to understand the metaphor, for it to work.... I hope this helps.....


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## CrimsonAngel223 (Jun 29, 2018)

Firemajic said:


> Here is one of the most common metaphors: " My Sister is the black sheep of the family"... Can you tell me why this is a metaphor? What does being a "black sheep" mean?.... One needs to understand the metaphor, for it to work.... I hope this helps.....



Well do you think I should just remove it altogether then. What do you propose I should do with it?


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## Robbie (Jun 29, 2018)

..Try putting a space between cyclops and feet.


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## Firemajic (Jun 29, 2018)

CrimsonAngel223 said:


> Well do you think I should just remove it altogether then. What do you propose I should do with it?



That is a good question, CrimsonAngel... If this was my poem, I would think about the message I want my reader to receive. Then I would go over it, word by word, line by line ... Maybe write down exactly what you want to say, then work on a poetic way to say it. Writing poetry is hard work, and it takes dedication and a willingness to constantly seek ways to improve. The Pip Challenge is a good place to start, there, you will receive the feedback and mentoring you need and deserve.


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## CrimsonAngel223 (Jun 29, 2018)

Robbie said:


> ..Try puttying a space between cyclops and feet.



That is a metaphor my dear. I did that on purpose.


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## CrimsonAngel223 (Jun 29, 2018)

Firemajic said:


> That is a good question, CrimsonAngel... If this was my poem, I would think about the message I want my reader to receive. Then I would go over it, word by word, line by line ... Maybe write down exactly what you want to say, then work on a poetic way to say it. Writing poetry is hard work, and it takes dedication and a willingness to constantly seek ways to improve. The Pip Challenge is a good place to start, there, you will receive the feedback and mentoring you need and deserve.



Lmao you don't think I don't know that it takes dedication and hard work. I've been writing poetry since i was sixteen years old and i believe that the poem is one of my best but the chevlier line was probably a little overboard though. Also i think that your poetry in general is lacking something and that is imagery. Most published poems have lots of it. But what do I know right? You're the mentor and i'm just a silly little canadian who making $100.000.000 in two years. Woman you got some nerve.


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## Firemajic (Jun 29, 2018)

CrimsonAngel223 said:


> Lmao you don't think I don't know that it takes dedication and hard work. I've been writinf poetry since i was sixteen years old and i believe that the poem is one of my best but the chevlier line was probably a little overboard though. Also i think that your poetry in general is lacking something and that is imagery. Most published poems have lots of it. But what do I know right? You're the mentor and i'm just a silly little canadian who making $100.000.000 in two years.



I think you know enough to know better than to start slinging insults at someone who sincerely wants only the best for you...

If my poetry lacks imagery, then that is something I am willing to work on...

Now, put your ego out of the way and get serious about writing. I am glad you have confidence in your skill as a writer, but don't allow your confidence and ego to stand in the way of learning new skills.


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## undead_av (Jul 13, 2018)

I don't care that I don't fully understand this, I love it. It's what I want in a poem.


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