# Animal Screams



## escorial (Aug 27, 2013)

farm yard screams
abattoir death screams
screams from a zoo
caged birds screams
screams from a rod
all silent screams


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## Sara Haasis (Aug 27, 2013)

At first the last line didn't sit right with me because I don't associate silence with any of the first four lines at all. Then I realized you might have meant a figurative silence and that's pretty cool. 

I think 'caged bird screams' is the most effective line because that's specific enough that I can call an actual sound to mind.


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## escorial (Aug 27, 2013)

Yeah...it's about how some humans don't think animals suffer.


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## Pandora (Aug 27, 2013)

big heart this one here, not just the poem

crying on the inside ... another dog fighting group, 400 dogs rescued, 400. I almost can not fathom that.
Who are these people who can't hear the screams? Love your poem escorial, it gives me hope when I see
and hear those who care, like you.


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## escorial (Aug 27, 2013)

One of the happiest memories I have was in a safari park...me brother seid theirs a pied wagtail and me dad flipped..just payed to see lions an giraffes and he's looking at birds from our garden...cheers Pandora.


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## vangoghsear (Aug 27, 2013)

Hi Escorial.

I like the idea, but I'm not connecting with this on an emotional level.  I get the point, but I don't _feel _the point.  I think it may be a bit too literal where a bit more imagery would help with connecting.  It reads too much like a laundry list of screams.

I had to look up "abattoir" (great word choice even though I had to look it up).  I imagine this word is fairly unfamiliar to a lot of people.  The word has an elegance to it that masks its darker meaning.   A bit of imagery here might be good to help explain the word and connect more.

Some additional trimming could actually expand the meaning, for instance cutting the word "birds" (or replacing it with a descriptor such as "cold cage screams" to hold the rhythm) from 





> caged birds screams


leaves "caged screams" where then it could be any animal or humans even (creating empathy).

Just my thoughts.  Feel free to use or ignore.


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## escorial (Aug 27, 2013)

Cheers..man...I always go for simplicity and I try not to give most of my pieces any rhythm but I do like to evoke imagery..noted your thoughts man.


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## xiaoman (Aug 27, 2013)

I like your idea. Feeling the  pain  for animals. Animals are like humans that  when they suffer they scream.


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## LolitaFromSpace (Aug 28, 2013)

i loved this! made me a little teary
the last line really was when it hit me 
i think its very poignant.
and i don't mind abattoir. i like how it makes a slaughterhouse seem elegant. giving it a falseness that goes along with the theme. whether you meant that or not thats what it was for me.
I also like the lack of rhyme/rhythm. I like when things just go sometimes without needing to be sing-songy traditional poetry. Almost anything can work.


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## escorial (Aug 28, 2013)

Thanks xiaoman and LolitaFromSpace...I did consider slaughterhouse but decided abattoir gave it a more placid feel..cheers.


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## Vitaly Ana (Aug 28, 2013)

Hi Esc - you evoke "auditory imagery" with this piece. I was confused with "screams from a rod" but other than that you work to create a consistent theme in this work. Cheers


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## Fats Velvet (Aug 28, 2013)

The word "scream" is once of English's few onomatopoeias; the way you have employed it here covers for the rhythmic flatness of the poem.  "Scream from a rod" introduces an abused human element into the poem ("spare the rod", etc).  Overall, the poem is simple but effective.  Cheers.


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## escorial (Aug 28, 2013)

VA..screams from a rod has two meanings for me..1..an electrical prod/rod when hurding cattle into the slaughterhouse..and a fish rod..the most popular past time in britian...FatsVelvet...thanks man...your work always borders on short but with so much depth man...cheers.


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## Ruru (May 23, 2017)

Interesting and quite sad.


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## -xXx- (May 23, 2017)

_*looks for the line or stanza*
*branching into plants*_
brutal beauty?


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