# How do you write animal noises?



## Bruno Spatola (Sep 12, 2010)

I'm writing a scene with a dog, but I don't know how to write the noises it makes.

"Woof." made me feel like a total fool, so can somebody help me please?


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 12, 2010)

The dog barked loudly/savagely/insistently.

Personally I wouldn't even try for the noise itself, 'woof' would make me feel like a total fool also, there are those that do it though.


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## Fox80 (Sep 12, 2010)

I agree with Olly, but you could try writing down your own onomatopoeias and see if any look good on paper. Such as: Rark! Garrrrrrrr! Ayrrrff! Arriff!

Don't use those, those stink. But you might surprise yourself and see one that could work. Good luck!


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 12, 2010)

Thanks Olly that's what I thought at first, but just wanted to make sure.

I tried that Fox, but it seems they only work well in Comics and Graphics novels. They are more visually striking there than in typical book font in my opinion so, I think I'll pass.


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## caelum (Sep 12, 2010)

There's the onomatopoeic route like the others mentioned, "Woof!  Grrrrrrrrr! Yap!", and then theres the normal route, "The dog barked in a mean way."  Imitating noises with letters _can_ work, and sometimes is very awesome, but you got to make sure it's really, really good and be really careful before you go with it.  It's so easy to sound hokey.

The Stephen King book I just read has quite a few onomatopoeias, mostly dragging people's names out, "Doh-lor-isssss!"


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 12, 2010)

ROO! RRRRROO! That's how my dog Boycie barks but, it just doesn't look right written to me


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## JosephB (Sep 12, 2010)

Bow wow is a classic -- although I don't believe I've ever heard a dog make a noise that sounds anything like it. Think about it. Bow wow?

I think it's from the guy who came up with meow, but he clearly ran out of steam.


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 12, 2010)

Man walked into a theatrical agency with a dog.
What's the act"
"Talking dog act"
"Okay, let's see it"
The man turns to the dog and says "How are you today?"  "Rough" says the dog.
 "What do you call the thing on the top of a house?" says the man, "Roof" says the dog.
The agent is starting to look bored.
"Who won the FA cup in 1936? says the man?" .
 "Ruff" said the dog, "Oops, no tell a lie, it was Arsenal".


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 12, 2010)

Haha, did you write that Olly? It's great. 

Arsenal lol.


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## The Backward OX (Sep 12, 2010)

I thought everyone knew dogs say, _*"Ralph! Ralph! Ralph, Ralph, Ralph!"*_


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## caelum (Sep 12, 2010)

I've never thought "moo" does cows justice.  It's always sounded like "mmnnnnnNNNNNGNGNGNGNG" to me.  Over in the prairies here, where there's lots of farming, they had a mooing competition not too long ago.  For humans, not cows, though.


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 12, 2010)

Did you win Caelum? because that's the best moo I've seen on the interweb.


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## caelum (Sep 13, 2010)

lol, well I was inspired by my Uncle's cows, who I've spent a lot of time around.  I've even seen one give birth (not a pretty sight).


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 13, 2010)

Can't be much worse than a woman giving birth *Goes on YouTube*

It's _definitely_ much worse than a woman giving birth :king:


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## The Backward OX (Sep 13, 2010)

You should become a vet. You'd learn all about human-assisted birth of calves, where the calf is coming out feet first and you have to get your arm up inside the cow to turn it around.


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## caelum (Sep 13, 2010)

i liek chocolate milk


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## The Backward OX (Sep 13, 2010)

KLM, I hope that's not two different topics in your post.









Ooooooh, lookit the time stamp on his Edit.​


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## Baron (Sep 13, 2010)

caelum said:


> i liek chocolate milk


 
Caelum is turning into ArcThomas.


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## RoundEye (Sep 13, 2010)

Off topic:

In another thread we were talking about what we have learned from this site, to be honest I had to look up “onomatopoeias”. Maybe they paid better attention during High School or have an advanced education (beyond high school). Either way it’s new to me and I try to look up any word I don’t know the definition of. Keep using “big words”, it furthers my education. I doubt I’ll ever use it use it during normal conversation but I don’t want to appear stoopid.


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 13, 2010)

The Backward OX said:


> I thought everyone knew dogs say, _*"Ralph! Ralph! Ralph, Ralph, Ralph!"*_


Ralph and Hughey are the guys you call when you have drunk too much.


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## JosephB (Sep 13, 2010)

Bruno Spatola said:


> It's _definitely_ much worse than a woman giving birth :king:



Yes, but cows don't yell at you when they're giving birth.


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## MJ Preston (Sep 13, 2010)

I'm with the rest. Describe it.
There was a menacing snarl in its bark, a snarl that said. "I'm going to rip out your windpipe if this chain lets go."

On a lighter note:

A guy is driving around and he see a sign in front of a backwoods home.
Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever
sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when
I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the
CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from
country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders,
because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of
their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a
job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly
wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married,
had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.

"Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him
so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit."


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 13, 2010)

Haha, that's funny. I never knew there were so many talking dog jokes. . .need to get out more.

I'll stick with describing the dog sounds. The only time I'll ever use speech marks is for parrots, thanks MJ.

That must be pretty epic Joseph. . .

 "I NEVER WANNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN YOU F*****G C***T, ARGHHHHH!" and then crying ensues; weird.


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## JosephB (Sep 13, 2010)

In reality, I think that's mostly the stuff of sit-coms, Bruno. My wife did plenty of screaming, but none of it was directed at me. After all, she had something to do with it.


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## Bruno Spatola (Sep 13, 2010)

Yeah, I do actually get all of my information on pregnancy from sitcoms. . .not good. 

You've made me less scared of it now that I know she wont rip my penis off. Can't wait to have children though. . .

Mooooo.


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