# Body of work



## Linton Robinson (Jul 19, 2010)

I can't remember the last time I  wrote a poem.  But an hour ago I was eating breakfast, hot to get back  to work after computer outages and some sort of psychic slump... and a  damn poem flits in the window.




 BODY OF WORK
   by Linton Robinson

  it’s not the big Kodak scenes  that really maim
  and sustain
  the true haunts are quick  glimpses
  stirred at random
  memos mori, messages in waiting
  calls on hold

  in the midst of rote midbrain  tasks
  they invest and invade
  there’s your close-up, your  blood puddled
  on your flexed thigh
  sound over:  your laughs at my shock
  then growls

  plaid curtain teased up on a  bush shot
  the flash in the alley
  daring me to come deeper, come  longer
  come clean
  right here against this dumpster
  plain sight

  i don’t need to close my eyes
  to see you falling
  as lank and boneless as in your  sleep
  as when cradled
  but falling all the way that  time
  to land far out of reach

  i always knew you were a teaser 
  sweet trailer trash
  now playing near me, coming  attraction
  the last big lie
  these beckoning ambushes should  be buried
  not you
  let me cut off my line, cancel  my subscription
  delete my accounts
  because it’s not you
  it’s not you
  it’s just me


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## SilverMoon (Jul 19, 2010)

lin, an expert piece. It was a joy to dig into. You don't insult the reader's intelligence with too much information but just enough for one linger for a while, forming their own elucidations. 

You rip off those Kodak board signs and bring us straight to the belly of the beast. e.g.The true haunts are the glimpses (one of many lines I happen to love) and we know what's coming. I hear the "real deal" from the dark side, you, creating a dreamy, nightmarish quality. To point, S2,S3 There's your close up, your blood puddle. And plainly, face yourself for who you really are. 

In S3,S1 plaid curtain teased up on a bush shot...you speak of a prostitute, which might have a greater meaning, representation. Nevertheless, you brought me there. The only nit I have is you describing the "plaid" curtain. Almost too quaint, standing out from the texure of this piece. I would just leave it at "curtain" or some other less pretty description.

Now, I'm assuming we're away from the prostitute, you describing some other woman. I will say that there's too much obsurity, here. If I'm correct the two women need some kind of bridge between them. Too much a blur as it stands.

i don’t need to close my eyes
to see you falling

i always knew you were a teaser 
sweet trailer trash

In the end, you take away blame away from this "other" of his, maybe the world, admitting it's all about his persepctive on life.

because it’s not you
it’s not you
it’s just me 

I think a truly great poem. The rich language rolls down the page. Thank you for the pleasure. Laurie


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## Linton Robinson (Jul 19, 2010)

Oops. Should be  "PLAID curtain"   and thus hopefull away from 'ho and more towards schoolgirl.

Thanks very much for your comments, Silver


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## SilverMoon (Jul 19, 2010)

Humm. School girl. Even more powerful.


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## Linton Robinson (Jul 19, 2010)

Young, anyway.   Or possibly Scottish I suppose


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## SilverMoon (Jul 19, 2010)

Do I hear bag pipes? :wink: But upon second thought, I think you need another subtle hint that we're talking about a school girl. Perhaps fit in "golden" (innocence) something of the sort in context to bring youth into the picture which would make the scene even more intense, decadent. "Just" the "plaid cover" escaped me entireley. I kept thinking of a kitchen curtain. Now I get "teased" but I think that could throw allot of readers off. Again, another thought. "Curtain" indicates "cover" and there's no concealing going on! Maybe, a less familiar word. And I think thowing in "pleated" is a good idea. Then you have the slight image of a Catholic girl. Having been a Catholic girl, I know about the uniform, for too long.. Now, I can't get Zappa out of my head!



> pleated plaid swath up over a bush shot,
> the golden flash in the alley
> daring me to come deeper, come longer
> come clean
> ...


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## Sam (Jul 19, 2010)

lin said:


> Young, anyway.   Or possibly Scottish I suppose


 
Go for the Irish girls.  They got that porcelain skin that is oh so hot. 

Didn't fancy you for a poet, Lin, and I'm no judge of good rhymes, but props for doing something I could never bring myself to.


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## vangoghsear (Jul 20, 2010)

This is good.  Gritty and a bit scary.



> i don’t need to close my eyes
> to see you falling
> as lank and boneless as in your  sleep
> as when cradled
> ...


I agree with SilverMoon that the above stanza seems like it has switched to thoughts of a different woman.  It seems like he is working through some guilt or a painful event that could have brought him act out as described.

I agree again with Laurie that adding "pleated" to plaid is a good way to enhance your image of a schoolgirl.

Not bad at all, Lin.  Liked it.


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## Gumby (Jul 20, 2010)

I didn't get a feeling of two women from this, just the one. I did enjoy it, Lin, gritty and a bit sad for sure. Full of regret and haunted memories. Good job!


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## Linton Robinson (Jul 20, 2010)

Thanks very much, guys


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