# Pretenders



## caelum (Dec 26, 2010)

FIGAROOOOOOOO


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## Gumby (Dec 26, 2010)

Like this one a lot cae. Sure speaks to the times all over the world it seems. 
This one gave me a smile with that last line.




> Perfected the act
> Without the fact
> Ironed the shirt
> For stomach of fat


 
Are finbacks whales? That's the only definition I could find and at first I thought it was a slang word for money, but I see the metaphor at work here.


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## caelum (Dec 26, 2010)

Thanks, Cindy.  Glad you liked it.  The finbacks bit is a reference to Moby Dick, one of my favourite novels.  In it Herman Melville comments on whalers chasing finbacks instead of sperm whales, chasing distractions instead of the real prize, which is a metaphor I've always liked.


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## bearycool (Dec 26, 2010)

fgsfds....

also nice connections every 2 line. I esp. like this one.



> Perfected the act
> Without the fact


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## shadows (Dec 27, 2010)

Well said.  This about sums up all the bullshit.  Immediate gains without a care for the day after tomorrow.  

I felt the last two lines of the last verse were a little weaker than the others and you could have ended the poem stronger.


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## caelum (Dec 27, 2010)

Thanks, Beary.  And yeah, that guy has some deep things on his mind.

Thanks a lot, Shadows, and honestly, I agree on the last lines.  They felt cliched even as I was writing them.  I've substituted them.


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## shadows (Dec 27, 2010)

Yes, that works better except fun and day don't rhyme


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## caelum (Dec 27, 2010)

Day was intended to rhyme with wait.  I don't mind it breaking form a little bit, not having perfect rhymes and the scheme switching around.  It's a pretty loose, heat of the moment kind of poem.

On second thought, fickle me changed it.


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## Foxryder (Dec 27, 2010)

A strong message lies underneath this one, Cae. It reminded me of a saying: you are different when you look in the mirror of truth. You're not just you.

The style here is interesting, too. My fav:

Perfected the act
without the fact


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## SilverMoon (Dec 27, 2010)

cae, a sading poem in that the majority has this mentality. If they only knew that they were looking in a fun house mirror... Excellent portrayal. Silver


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## caelum (Dec 27, 2010)

Thanks a lot, Foxryder and Laurie .  I really like everyone's take.  It's kind of ranty, but I changed the end (again) to give it more of a self-directed air.


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