# Overcoming failure



## J T Chris (May 28, 2018)

I dropped out of a high-residency MFA program a few years ago. It was a combination of depression, a lack of self-esteem, and work-related stress that all coalesced into an anxiety that I was too weak in mental fortitude to overcome. Nevertheless, I quit writing, got a job outside of academia that turned into a good career, and got married. I was content living a life of dull complacency and I was pretty successful at it.

But now here I am.

As a writing failure, I am inexorably drawn back to the craft while simultaneously rekindling my innate sense of worthlessness, despair and self-loathing. Not sure why I intend to torment myself again, but I suppose a life without creation isn't worth much to me. And that is pretty dismal, because there are a lot of good things going on for me right now. 

But now here I am.


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## SueC (May 28, 2018)

Hi there JT Chris. Welcome to WritingForum. 



> Not sure why I intend to torment myself again, but I suppose a life without creation isn't worth much to me.



First of all, there is this old adage that says _writers write because they have to. _So, after reading your bit, it looks like you are a writer, whether you like it or not. Not writing can impact your life; but writing can make you feel whole (that's not a quote; it came out of my head )



> As a writing failure, I am inexorably drawn back to the craft while simultaneously rekindling my innate sense of worthlessness, despair and self-loathing.



I have to confess, I am not terribly convinced that success at higher education is going to ensure that you are a competent writer. Writing - for me at least - comes from the heart. It has nothing to do education, of which I really have little, compared to others. A friend recently asked me if writing a book is hard. I said, "writing a book is the fun part; it's the editing afterwards that makes me nuts!"

So, JT, you have stumbled upon a wonderful, awesome site. I came here almost a year ago and have learned so much about writing, myself and many other things. This is a fun place to be. Oh, and after you get your 10 posts in, be sure and look to the Literary Maneuvers fiction competition (https://www.writingforums.com/forums/44-Literary-Maneuvers-Fiction-Competitions.) There is a prompt to write about, and of course they have to stick in a word count, but so much fun! 

Writing Discussion (https://www.writingforums.com/forums/14-Writing-Discussion) is great, too, especially when you have a little problem with anything to do with writing. I have participated many times, discussing things I didn't even know I knew. The group here is full of seasoned writers, and others like you and me, who just want to put pen to paper and make a good read. Everyone is super helpful, and the only thing we ask is that you are respectful of others. Easy peasy, right?

So tell us what you like to write, to read, what your genre is, whether it's fiction, poetry or something else. We are waiting to hear from you and I would love to read some of your work.

Again! Welcome to you JT Chris!


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## aj47 (May 28, 2018)

Welcome. My way of dealing with this is not to identify as *a writer*.  Writing is something I sometimes choose to do, but it is not who I am.  I sometimes choose to cook (and I have a menu blog where I share out), but I'm not *a cook*.  I sometimes choose to shop ... etc.  You will, of course, have to make your own way, but sometimes hearing from others is helpful.  

Again, welcome.  This is a community and whatever your writing goals are (or are not) you are welcome here. We help one another and learn from one another and ... hang out together.  If you've read the rules, you know you can share your work after you level up (ten substantive posts).  And if you haven't, I gave you the keys.  Come in, get comfy.


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## J T Chris (May 28, 2018)

Thank you for the welcome. 

I write (wrote?) short fiction primarily, with the occasional non-fiction piece peppered in for seasoning. I like the work of Joy Williams, George Saunders, Philip Roth, and Haruki Murakami. I'm also fond of the Modernists like Joyce and Yeates. And I can't pass up a good hard-boiled yarn by Raymond Chandler.


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## Bayview (May 28, 2018)

I don't think there's any such thing as "failing" as a writer. You might not have achieved your goals _yet_, but who cares? Life doesn't have to be a straight line, and taking a few detours is probably _good _for a writer in the long run. More experiences, more grist for the mill.

So - welcome back! Writing has been waiting for you all along.


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## J T Chris (May 29, 2018)

Bayview said:


> I don't think there's any such thing as "failing" as a writer. You might not have achieved your goals _yet_, but who cares? Life doesn't have to be a straight line, and taking a few detours is probably _good _for a writer in the long run. More experiences, more grist for the mill.
> 
> So - welcome back! Writing has been waiting for you all along.



Thank you! You may be onto something. I've definitely more to write about now.


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## Anita M Shaw (May 30, 2018)

> I've definitely more to write about now.



Sometimes it just has to percolate for a while. Live some life, have some experiences - good or not. 

I'm always reminded of the saying, "Nothing bad ever happens to a writer." I don't recall where I read that or who said it, but whatever has happened to me at any point in my life is going to show up somewhere in my writing. It's a sort of a therapy for me to be able to get it out of my head and on "paper". The voices in my head want out! They demand me to write their stories; and so I do. Although I don't write as much as I used to. Rather behind my schedule for finishing the ones I'd started many years ago. And new ones want to be told. But Life goes on, giving me even more experiences to deal with and potentially write about . . . 

Hmmm . . . which story should I tell first . . .?

Welcome to your new writing home!


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## bdcharles (May 30, 2018)

J T Chris said:


> I dropped out of a high-residency MFA program a few years ago. It was a combination of depression, a lack of self-esteem, and work-related stress that all coalesced into an anxiety that I was too weak in mental fortitude to overcome. Nevertheless, I quit writing, got a job outside of academia that turned into a good career, and got married. I was content living a life of dull complacency and I was pretty successful at it.
> 
> But now here I am.
> 
> ...



Welcome. I don't know whether I am supposed to but I am loving this intro. You sound like you were born to write, that's for sure! 

 Our monthly fiction contest, *Literary Manouevres* can be a quick way to get back into it, if fiction is your thing.


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## J T Chris (May 31, 2018)

Anita and BD,

Thank you for the welcome. And thank you for welcoming and inviting me to the community. Part of my issue was that I just didn't gel with a lot of the other writers I was surrounded by.


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## bdcharles (May 31, 2018)

J T Chris said:


> Part of my issue was that I just didn't gel with a lot of the other writers I was surrounded by.



Oh, God, you're perfect!


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## aj47 (Jun 3, 2018)

J T Chris said:


> Part of my issue was that I just didn't gel with a lot of the other writers I was surrounded by.



One of the best bits of writing advice I've gotten was from an editor at a genre conference. He explained that a big problem with amateur in-person critique groups where everyone is in the want-to-be-published phase is they don't know any more than you do. This wasn't meant in a deprecating way, either, but to wake you up to the fact that you need to be as selective about your critique group as you are about any other life choice.  If 90% of everything is crud, then maybe 90% of writers should be ... written off to start with.  And of the other 10% you have to figure there's genre and style and so on to consider as well.  So finding the right writers is not simply a matter of showing up at the MeetUp or signing up for the workshop at the library.  

I pretty much found out that I get better help online and at genre conference workshops.  Online, my posts reach a higher number of people and they self-select for genre and style and interest. At workshops, people are paying to play and also there's some self-selecting going on.  As always, there is no One Right Way, and Your Mileage May Vary.

When I quit going to critique groups, I got stuff published.  I don't think it's a coincidence.


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## TuesdayEve (Jun 3, 2018)

I’ve seen you in a couple forums already, glad you’re 
jumping right in... there’s alot to explore, don’t 
hesitate to ask questions as there are many here to 
help you move forward...welcome


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## Phil Istine (Jun 4, 2018)

Stick with it, J T Chris.  There's a lot of help out there and in here.
I have tried out a number of real-life, creative writing groups that seem to cover the whole range.  Perversely, my local one (within walking distance) is the one I rate the least, and the one I rate the best is the farthest (a 30 mile drive).

The nearby one is like a meeting of Fluffy Bunnies Anonymous where, if one listens closely, it's possible to hear vaguely positive "mmm" noises after reading a piece.  I once tried to break the mould by offering very light and balanced critique, but the self-appointed group leader (even on the weeks that she isn't) treated it like a highly-infectious strain of norovirus.  So much for helping my fellow writers.  However, most of those who attend just want to have a bit of fun, socialise, and do a couple of writing exercises.  Any discussion appears to centre around issues raised in the writing rather than about the writing itself and how it might be improved.  I soon realised that I am the odd-bod at that group.  I rarely go there these days.

The one that is thirty miles away is totally different.  It's a very old group that has been going for eighty years.  The format varies and there is usually a guest speaker, someone who is walking the walk.  Publishers have deemed some of the regular members stories worthy and I can hear why when they read. As I've got to know them better, I've actually found the confidence to read some of my offerings on an open mic night.  Comedy poetry might not be everyone's favourite tipple, but it's good to have fun as well.
Sometimes we divide into small group workshops.  That's when the more forthright critique is offered, and the part I value the most.
I value both online and offline help, but it's good to be selective.


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## H.Brown (Jun 10, 2018)

A belated hello and welcome J T, seems like you have had a lot on your plate. However failure is a subjective term, for instance you may have left your education but that allowed yu to concentrate on other aspects of your life, which I hope hve improved somewhat since your leaving your course.

Writing I have found doesn't let you go easily and you may find that in time you are happy to have it back. But for now you have come to the right place we have a very suportive set of members here at wf. Members to elp with reading your own writing, but also I have found our members to be supportive of each other in many different ways. For example have you seen the mental health thread that was started a year or so ago, many of your members who struggle or have struggled with mental help find it  a supportive place to share ur own expiriences.

I'm glad to see you have jumped right in and I look forward to seeing your around the forums even more.

All the best J T.


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