# Dear Teenagers



## ejrosetta (Sep 5, 2013)

Dear Teenagers

Let me teach you a couple of things about life. Pay attention now, earphones out, because these things are important and may just help you expand your horizons beyond your current itinerary of scowling, loitering & grunting intermittently whilst making poor life choices. I’d like to offer a special “shout out” to the group of you that were “chillin” outside Iceland today arguing emphatically bout the cheapest place to buy Rizla. I know I’m almost 25 and therefore ANCIENT to you but trust Auntie Emily, she’s only trying to help.


1. Common decency is compulsory. This includes - but is not limited to -  acknowledgement of your surroundings, using ‘please’ & ‘thank you’ daily, being courteous at doorways, picking your feet up whilst walking, not acting insolent as a default setting, respecting your elders, tipping your waitress & paying for the train.

2. Scowling is not attractive. Nor is pouting in photos. Looking sullen & aggressive doesn’t make you seem aloof or cool. It makes you seem sullen & aggressive. Try pulling off ‘friendly’ or ‘cooperative’ or ‘professional’ - you may get bought more beers and you’ll certainly make more friends.

3. “txt spk” is not acceptable. It makes you look illiterate. This form of communication was in fact invented by MY generation, as a way to combat the issue of character allowance in the first wave of mobile phones. Back then (when we were blissfully unaware that ‘akon’ even existed) you were limited to 60 characters (sorry - letters) per message, so in order to portray your message, you had to be innovative about which letters to use. Hence why ‘would’ became ‘wud’ and ‘later’ became ‘l8r’ - this was an intelligent and space saving solution to an obvious and quickly resolved problem.

You see, kids, the phone companies weren’t aware that texting would become so popular - it was meant to incorporate your pager (bet you’ve never seen one of those?) and home handset into one handy, albeit bulky package. Once the ‘text’ was adopted by the younger generation as a standard form of contact due to its impersonal and disposable nature (the very same reason that you grunt at your mother instead of being respectful and articulate) the phone companies reconvened (sorry - had a meeting) and quickly made some changes. Length of text allowance being the first.

In the handsets you see today, not only are you permitted an almost unusable amount of characters (sorry - letters), you are also armed with a FULL QWERTY KEYBOARD and intelligent spell-check software. I know from experience that my iPhone can be irritatingly diligent to the point of nuisance when I spell something menial wrong, so I fail to see how yours are letting you off such embarrassingly incorrect language. Its almost as though you’ve disabled your settings from ‘adult’ to ‘fucktard’ and are setting about convincing your friends and family that you are incurably illiterate to the point of stupidity. Are you trying to look cool, or simply managing our expectations to align (sorry - match) your low opinion of yourself? It’s essentially the literary equivalent of opting to wear crutches and an eye patch out of choice. Whilst drooling. Upsidedown.

The other day, a Facebook status flashed across my screen, informing me that my friend Dave “DMC” Mitchell “wuz gonna go 2 twn but cba now” - as if that even makes sense. Aside from the fact that the C in ‘cba’ could easily stand for both Can and Can’t (proving the acronym irrelevant) it’s the word “wuz” that upsets me the most. THAT’S THE SAME AMOUNT OF LETTERS. Could you not have just typed “was” instead? Look at the letters needed on your keyboard - THEY’RE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER. *facepalm*  You in fact gave yourself more work in your illiteracy. Aren’t those extra finger strokes better saved for your incessant Angry Birds sessions? Let me know how that job application goes wont you…


3. That tattoo you *really* want will be the same one that you *really* regret when you’re 50 and your son points out that the emotions & memories you associated it with at the time are about as relevant now as Captain Jack Sparrow would have been during the industrial revolution. Wait until you’re 25, and if you still wish to mutilate your body then be my guest. I will even pay for it myself - I’m that confident you wont want it anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for making stupid decisions. But let these be silly irresponsible things like leaving veg in the fridge until it ‘melts’ or my favourite “Two Bottle Tuesdays” as opposed to something scarring.


4. STOP SPITTING ON THE GROUND


5. Your musical tastes do not define your personality - your demeanour & values do. No, I don’t care what John Meyer is releasing nowadays or your ability to ‘Dubstep’. Please stop wearing Nirvana merchandise. You don’t understand what any of it means. To enjoy music, figure out what it is you are about and what you feel is relevant in your life, then choose music that compliments that person and the wide range of emotions you are now experiencing as an adult. Of course you’re miserable, you’ve been listening to Taking Back Sunday on a loop. Throw in a little Taylor Swift or Nina Simone once in a while and you may feel better! Don’t just continue to plug yourself into what’s fashionable and popular right now, trying to understand why your friends like it - trust me they’re trying to figure out the same thing about David Guetta. You should be worrying about how late to leave your bill payments or whether you have enough Vodka for dinner, not defining your very self based on the song  playing on your iPod. On a similar note, please remove the earphones when you’re talking to me. Even though you may not have music playing through them, it still makes you look like a tool. Take it from “ordering-starbucks-whilst-on-the-phone-guy” - doing two things at once gets you withering looks and instant disdain, even if you don’t think you’re not being rude. A rule of thumb is - if you’re trying to interact with another human being whilst engaging in some form of cyber/technical communication or entertainment, you’re being a douche.

I digress. This list could continue indefinitely. Lets cut this short and summarise with this - there are so many more things that you should busy yourself with at your age aside from insolence and angst. Like Pub Golf or sleeping until 3pm on Sundays. I thoroughly enjoyed my early twenties - that blissful mid-period when you can get away with things like swearing in front of children, or eating my dinner from the vessel I prepared it in (ie pasta straight from the saucepan - chips from the baking tray etc). Such things are meant to be embraced, these slight nods towards irresponsibility, these in discrepancies. Enjoy them. Put aside the mumbling and scruffy hair… go watch some Judge Judy! Personally I don’t have time to whine incessantly about that TV programme being cancelled or how hot the new T4 presenter is, I’m too busy doing things that are more subtly anti-adult like not achieving my driving licence or neglecting the gardening. Currently I refer to my superiors at work as ‘the grown ups’ and can feel like a bit of an impostor when being treated with respect by the bus driver. That’s how to fight the older generation, not by being openly rude and aggressive towards them.

So fold away the attitude, throw on a Hanson CD and grab your nearest PCSO - life’s not as hard as you think it is. (yet)


----------



## Apple Ice (Sep 5, 2013)

And there I was dancing to Akon and headbutting every nun I came across. 

I'm curious as to what you were like as a teenager. Not every teenager is a plank just as not everyone in their 20's is pretentious.


----------



## Deleted member 49710 (Sep 5, 2013)

The argument against text speak would be better if you avoided abbreviations (&) and forum-style expressions yourself ("face palm").

_even if you don't think you're not being rude_
double negative issues.

some missing punctuation: ie wont etc (behooves one to be a perfectionist when complaining about others' shortcuts.)

Think you need to amp up the humor and as Apple Ice's comment suggests, some self-awareness might help. This would be funnier and more compelling if the narrator were to reflect on his/her own teenaged self, mistakes made, stupid fads, etc. You do this a little towards the end, but it's a little too late. Without that humor, you're just a 25 year old ranting at the kids, which makes this 36 year old feel tired and old, not to mention defensive of the many nice teenagers she knows.


----------



## ejrosetta (Sep 5, 2013)

Thanks, both, for valued and honest feedback. 

Obviously this piece is designed to be taken with a pinch of salt, it's not something that was drafted countless times or intended to be witty, compelling or spotless. It's just my honest and off the cuff rant, which I figured I would share with you fine people, in the spirit of anonymous forums. 

For the record, as a teenager I was a "grunge", sulking, self important pain in the ass. Although maybe that's better than being called pretentious by a stranger.


----------



## PiP (Sep 5, 2013)

I found myself nodding in agreement on some of the points you made. In parts it was witty and made me laugh. I immedately thought of a younger version of "grumpy old women" and me at 23yrs old when I was the oldest person at the disco. Many teenagers today certainly seem to have more "attitude" issues  (Well they do in the UK although I've not noticed it where I live in Portugal) 

 With a little tweaking I think this could be really good.

BTW, I like point 4. STOP SPITTING ON THE GROUND

Is that with or without the gum? 

Thanks for sharing

PiP


----------



## ejrosetta (Sep 5, 2013)

Thanks, Pigletinportugal. I think I may spend some time tweaking it, maybe try and make it shorter. Cheers for your feedback


----------



## Orchidia (Sep 6, 2013)

Okay, so to be honest, this made me really mad, like really, really mad. As in, write up a whole rebuttal rant then decide to delete it because it probably would've broken a few forum rules and wouldn't have been very helpful feedback anyways run on sentence mad.

But moving past that, to the more toned down version.

Although I do understand the frustration with today's youth, I don't quite think it's fair to lump them all together. I'm a teenager (for another month anyways) and one of my jobs is tutoring at a high school, which I actually really enjoy because I get to work with teens. It's true there are teenagers with horrible attitudes and no respect for anyone, but there are adults like that too; there are twenty-year-olds and thirty-year-olds and eighty-year-olds with the same problems. If you've ever worked in retail, you should know this. Anyway, Apple Ice pretty much already summed up this point: 





> Not every teenager is a plank just as not everyone in their 20's is pretentious.


 I think maybe people choose to pick on teens because they're an easy target. They are younger, and therefore seen as ignorant, and generally don't hold any power, unlike those adults who are equally as rude,disrespectful and ignorant in their own ways.

Next point. Why is Taylor Swift better than Taking Back Sunday? That sounds more like personal opinion than anything else. Not to mention the fact that Taylor Swift is popular right now, which kind of undermines your argument. Anyway, I disagree with this 





> To enjoy music, figure out what it is you are about and what you feel is relevant in your life, then choose music that compliments that person and the wide range of emotions you are now experiencing as an adult.


Music is, within itself, a method of self exploration and identification, or at least, it was for me. 

Lastly but, arguably, most importantly. Who is the audience here? I'm hoping this isn't meant to be didactic and that, really, it's directed towards other adults because I highly doubt any teenager would read through the end, let alone take any of the offered advice. I'm going to use this section as an example:



> Throw in a little Taylor Swift or Nina Simone once in a while and you may feel better! Don’t just continue to plug yourself into what’s fashionable and popular right now, trying to understand why your friends like it - trust me they’re trying to figure out the same thing about David Guetta. You should be worrying about how late to leave your bill payments or whether you have enough Vodka for dinner, not defining your very self based on the song playing on your iPod. On a similar note, please remove the earphones when you’re talking to me. Even though you may not have music playing through them, it still makes you look like atool. Take it from “ordering-starbucks-whilst-on-the-phone-guy” - doing two things at once gets you withering looks and instant disdain, even if you don’t think you’re not being rude. A rule of thumb is - if you’re trying to interact with another human being whilst engaging in some form of cyber/technical communication or entertainment, you’re being a douche.



If indeed the target audience is teens, you ask them to trust you, to listen to you, and then you insult them. Why would I listen to someone who's insulting me?

In the end, I agree with lasm in that there needs to be some humor and reflection from the narrator. I would also suggest considering the basic ethos, pathos and logos which are necessary to any good argument, with special attention to ethos in particular because, I think, that's what this piece lacks most. 

Anyway, I'm sorry if this came off as rude because it's not meant to be. :uncomfortableness::-# It's just kind of a touchy spot for me (obviously). Although, I didn't like the ideas presented in the piece very much, it was easy to read and I did enjoy the last paragraph. I think this piece could easily be made into a witty and enjoyable irony.:smile:


----------



## Apple Ice (Sep 6, 2013)

Haha, we've all been called worse than pretentious, Im sure.

In hindsight what I said wasn't very helpful. It's unfortunate that two teenagers were among the first to read it, although I think it's fair to say this was never going to be aimed at us anyway. You only strike a nerve with people if at least some of what you say is true, so kudos for that.

I would perhaps disregard your age from this, you're only young yourself and middle aged people or older might think that you don't really know what life is about yet, either. If you don't have your age the reader will assume you are their age.

 So yes, this could easily be a good piece after being tweaked.


----------



## ejrosetta (Sep 6, 2013)

Orchida, to answer your question, no it's not aimed to be read by teenagers. I'm a little old before my time and have a bit of a "grumpy old woman" attitude to certain things, and most definitely did yesterday when I posted this. 

The fact is, it is an opinion piece that I hoped some people with my mindset may relate to. I actually have two teenage siblings who are flawless, so I know not ALL teenagers are like that. It just so happened the ones I encountered yesterday were. I think people write most honestly "off the cuff" and I enjoyed writing this, although clearly not everyone has enjoyed reading it. 

In the spirit of anonymous forums, I thought I'd share something with you fine people, although I was aware that it may irritate some of the subject matter, I wasn't expecting such a detailed response. 

So thanks for your honest feedback. Very interesting to read. Maybe you'd prefer my piece on kittens instead?


----------



## midnightpoet (Sep 6, 2013)

I agree, some self-deprecating humor would help here.  I was a teenager in the 1950's. When I heard my mother's friends say I was a "nice young man" who "never caused any trouble" I wanted to hide under a rock.  My own son was a rebellious teenager, smoking dope and ending up in jail after dropping out of high school.  He did later clean up his act.  I don't come into contact with many teens these days, but I suspect by and large
things haven't changed much since I entered high school in 1958.  I remember some quote from some ancient Greek (not sure who) complaining about kids in his time.  Also, reading Proverbs, a lot of stuff would not be in there if it weren't happening back when it was written.


----------



## john123 (Oct 13, 2013)

agreed, people tend to generalize the behavior of teenagers into a few simple catagories


----------



## The Tourist (Oct 13, 2013)

ejrosetta said:


> Let me teach you a couple of things about life.



My Aunt Clara had an old Sicilian adage that roughly translated means, _"In the jungle they will be eaten."_

Have no fears, Darwin weeds out the truly hobbled ones, and McDonalds employs many of the survivors.  Modern demographics indicate that lots of the others move home and live with their parents until well into their thirties.

There's no need to worry.  Sooner or later the worst zit pops and fades away.


----------



## ToBeInspired (Oct 14, 2013)

The Tourist said:


> My Aunt Clara had an old Sicilian adage that roughly translated means, _"In the jungle they will be eaten."_
> 
> Have no fears, Darwin weeds out the truly hobbled ones, and McDonalds employs many of the survivors.  Modern demographics indicate that lots of the others move home and live with their parents until well into their thirties.
> 
> There's no need to worry.  Sooner or later the worst zit pops and fades away.



Ah, if only they didn't breed I may believe that. For every 5 who never have a child there's one that has 5.


I took this as a little rant towards a specific group of teenagers. It seemed self-evident from the opening. Her thoughts in the form of a rant. Mmk. Was just a small read. Obvious not a full-piece. Just take it as it is.


----------



## The Tourist (Oct 14, 2013)

It's not just teenagers, there are an equal number of adult easy riders.  It always struck me funny that the half of society that pays no taxes inhales the revenue from those who must foot the bill.

Everyone should pay something (I suggest a flat tax), or at least provide DNA for the baby's daddy.  My guess is that's never going to happen no matter how many Visigoths spill across our Rubicon.


----------



## WechtleinUns (Oct 14, 2013)

A couple of things, but first, I want to respond to The Tourist:

The Tourist, I identify with a lot of what you're saying, and what you have said since you've joined. Having said that, I realize that I fit fairly well the description of the slovenly young adult who is afraid of life. Of course, having said *that*, I am trying to do something about it.

I feel that you're right on a lot of counts. I do want to improve my social standing and life much more highly than it is currently located. Given that I am in my mid 20's, I would definitely fit the label of "late bloomer" in the minds of the more charitable, and lazy layabout in the minds of the less. Nevertheless, I do feel confident that I am slowly pulling myself upwards and outwards, and onto better modes of living, and higher levels of competency.

It has taken me... a while, to get to the point where I can function somewhat normally around others. I think I've mentioned somewhere else on the forum that I am on the autistic spectrum, a fact and diagnosis that I am loathe to accept. Even to the point of refusing to accept it. I am attending university, but I refuse to ask for any sort of disability services.

I don't know. I guess I kind of see you as somewhat of a role model, perhaps. The main thing that I like about you is that you've struggled through a hell of a lot in your life, and I find that admirable and respectable. I've never been hit upside the head with a police baton, but I can definitely understand the concept of struggle. It was not more than 2 years ago that I wouldn't have been capable of speaking in a group. I'm not sure I would have made it this far on an internet forum, either. In that sense, I do respect a lot of what you say. Sometimes, reading your posts is warmly encouraging, in its own way.

Now then: To respond to this work of non-fiction.

You know... I will admit to having a different reaction to this piece of writing than I thought I would have. I'm excellent at technical thought and mathematics/computer/engineering, etc. But when it comes to emotional intelligence, I have always lagged several years behind my peers.

Which made much of this very satisfying to read. At one point in the text, I suddenly realized just how much I have grown in the past two years.

To put it into perspective, I would not have functioned even at the level of these hypothetical teenagers two years ago. (Actually, considering that we're a month from november, it would be 3 years ago.) I would have had difficulty just shaving and showering on a regular basis.

Imagine my surprise when, as I sat reading this, I found myself chuckling and nodding in aggrement with the points made out by the author. I came into this piece of nonfiction, fully prepared to feel inadequate and semi-ashamed. And, as it turns out, I feel encouraged and empowered to continue on.

I will say this: There is much that I have yet to learn, but I do feel that I am making progress.

Thank you very much for writing this, ejorosetta.


----------



## The Tourist (Oct 14, 2013)

WechtleinUns said:


> The Tourist, I identify with a lot of what you're saying, and what you have said since you've joined. Having said that, I realize that I fit fairly well the description of the slovenly young adult who is afraid of life. Of course, having said *that*, I am trying to do something about it.



It's not getting knocked down that matters, it's how you get up.  Heck, _I wouldn't have given me_ a chance until I was fourteen.  

I've used it as an example many times.  I was reading Thompson's book on the Angels.  He wrote that Barger was 5' 7" and would fight anyone.  It struck a chord with me, as I was a full head taller and ten years younger.

Clean up your diet.  Get to a gym.  Quit lying and weaseling.  Pay your debts.  Yeah, you'll get your nose broken.  Mine was broken twice.

But you'll sleep better, you'll never have to sign an IOU, and a decent woman will love you for you.  As for our milieu here, your writing improves when that layer of society's manure is removed.


----------



## Sailwa (Oct 15, 2013)

Well written and quite entertaining. I understand peoples' issues with the central assumption of the piece though. Generalisations and stereotypes tend to only serve to irritate people and detract from genuine points. 

That being said, if this was an entirely comedic piece i think the use of a stereotype could possibly have worked, the issue i think is that behind the elements of comedy there seemed to be a genuine disdain, which is bound to evoke anger from sections of the stereotyped group who don't fall under your caricature. Not to say that disdain couldn't work in a piece, i think if you divorced your anger from the stereotype of teenagers and maybe aimed it at a more specific target then the piece would have worked better. You can write though. 

Hope my criticism was constructive! 

Best, Sailwa.


----------



## Smith (Oct 15, 2013)

As a 15 year old reading this, I found myself agreeing with some of what you're saying. There are a lot of people my age that do the things you mentioned.

However, there are of course (as others have mentioned here too) older adults who act much the same way. In a lot of ways I feel like a victim. I'm not 18 so if a cop talks to me and I explain myself in a polite manner, it's "talking back" rather than defending my freedom or just simply explaining my side of the story. Many adults immediately assume the worst of a kid wearing a blink-182 hat (me). Rather than, "He must like that band" it's "He's wearing that hat because he's going to go vandalize something!" I feel as if adults are just as arrogant and ignorant as we 'kids' are, at least in the United States. I feel that this is a phenomenon really that varies from culture to culture.

My friend from Japan has told me how they really value their parents and especially their grandparents. And more or less if you respect them, they respect you. There is less of a communication breakdown between the generations too. Which is interesting because I think it reinforces the fact that we aren't always entirely to blame. The older generations over there do a good job of raising the next generation with respect and many other good values. Perhaps the younger generations in the US (just using it as an example since I live here) weren't raised as well? I will admit, I am a bit of a rebellious child and have always enjoyed my independence.

As for the music bit, somebody else mentioned that music was a bit of a self-discovery and exploration and I like that. To me it is that, and also a way for me to cope with my problems. I suffer from a bit of social anxiety, although I do have many "bro-friends", but sometimes it is difficult to talk about a problem. Or maybe nobody really understands or they just weren't able to give satisfactory advice. That is why I actually do listen to Taking Back Sunday (their first two albums anyway), Linkin Park, and blink-182 to name a few bands. But then I also listen to an occasional catchy dubstep song when in the party mood, some Elvis or Johnny Cash, have a playlist on YouTube that is a mix of house, electronica, dubstep, hybrid, a few rare Jimmy Eat World songs that I don't have on iTunes, epic music, classical music...

I know it was just a basic rant more or less off the top of your head, and I understand where you're coming from. Just know there is still hope.


----------



## The Tourist (Oct 15, 2013)

At the end of the day I think the issue is just passing the torch.  For example, the song "My Generation" is about youth, angst, and not being understood by your parents.  It's also the anthem of 'boomers, who most of you know as your grandparents.

The things we thought were groundbreaking were well known by our folks.  And the stuff you think is so important is fifty years old to me.  It's just the circle of life.

BTW, for all you impetuous kids, old age, guile and dirty fighting beat youth and ambition every time.  There, I just saved you twenty years of heartache.  I always tell my wife I actually feel sorry for muggers--they never see it coming...


----------



## bookmasta (Oct 16, 2013)

This rant seems riddled with stereotypes. I'm a part of this younger generation and granted I do occasionally come across certain people like this and scenarios like what was, but not nearly to the proportion that the OP emphasizes. I wonder what the inspiration was to compose this thread.


----------



## The Tourist (Oct 16, 2013)

bookmasta said:


> This rant seems riddled with stereotypes.



The irony of that statement is that it proves the point.

It might be a rant to you, but it's a realization to us.  In fact, sometimes when I talk to younger folks about the major issues in their lives I can almost finish their sentences for them.

Consider the act of maturing like entering a round-robin board game.  I'm slowing down, planning to cash out and do other things, and you've just entered the game.  At some point, you will take my place, but I've been playing the game longer, I know the rules better, I've seen the competition and I've learned a whole bunch of helpful nuances.

You have Miley Cyrus shocking the public, I had Madonna.  My dad had Sally Rand.  Same game, same enlightenment.  Same outcome.

Sometimes when I read a "new" excerpt from a younger writer I know not only how the plot will evolve, but also what his overall message is and why he wrote it.  No, I don't have a crystal ball, I just wrote the same story in 1964.


----------



## shadowwalker (Oct 16, 2013)

Older people have been ranting about younger people since people had kids. And older people have been claiming to be so much wiser and experienced since gray hair. I often think it's a mix of envy and regret - all the things we would have done if we'd known then what we know now; but of course, we had to learn it the hard way, just like every generation does.

(And btw, it's not just teens who spit on the ground - and tobacco's much worse than gum in that respect).


----------



## The Tourist (Oct 16, 2013)

'Walker, the only way I would take back my youth is if I could keep my aged mind.

In fact, the Germans had a saying, "Too soon old, too late smart."

It applies here.  We also had a thread about going back in time.  If I could, I would.  What's so great about this period?  Cell phones with more memory than out first lunar landing module?  Electric cars?  Twerking?

The common denominator I have found in both my own experiences and the recommendations of mentors is that "simpler is better."  You do not need hype, every toy, gold bullion, or Charlize Theron's telephone number.  I've sold off all my expensive toys, I ride simple motorcycles and work by getting my hands dirty.

Nothing ever gave me more joy than burning an Armani suit...


----------



## Adam Greypence (Oct 16, 2013)

The revelation that Tourist gives regarding "simpler is better" doesn't take so long as that to realise; age is no excuse. I turned twenty a few months ago; now granted, I do have some fun gadgets (like th Android I'm making this post from) but, if it came to that, could be quite happy without it as well; one must be willing to let go of the less important things in life in favor of simplicity. That's not to say you must (unless circumstances demand it) but you should be at least able.


----------

