# I Wouldn't Dare



## Underd0g (Apr 14, 2018)

I Wouldn't Dare

I wouldn't dare write a poem about loneliness
I would never claim to know of pain
For I have caused them both too many times
I'm widely regarded with disdain

My phone won't ring, or whatever that thing does now
No one ever  knocks on my front door
I don't know how this situation all started
I became the one to abhor


Everything happens in increments
Not with blistering speed
Nothing happens all at once
Enter the dreaded weed

I guess I could take it all back
Reverse the course traversed
But that would take way to long
I'll live out the life of the cursed


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## ned (Apr 16, 2018)

hello - some nice ideas floating around here

fair play for rhyming - but they should be more natural.
the rhyming line should trip off the tongue....

in the first verse 'pain' is the strong word - so swap it for 'disdain'

same for 'abhor' and 'door'

typo - onmy

way to long = way too long

the poem ends with abstract concepts - which lack any real meaning.

cheers..................Ned


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## Underd0g (Apr 16, 2018)

.

Busted

Ha, thanks Ned. Very insightful comments.
I'm new here so I've been experimenting and yes I just threw this one together, although I'd like to take it somewhere.
The "onmy" was me not editing after cutting and pasting from Word. My keyboard sticks on this site for some reason.

Now the "to/too" thing was all me and my laziness,although it took over 60 views for somebody to catch it. I always laugh when somebody else does it. They are real loosers.

I'll take what you said and rethink. Thank you again!


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## Firemajic (Apr 23, 2018)

First 3 lines of the 3rd stanza are fierce! This poem has a lot of things that show you are a unique writer... and I love the tone... I am looking forward to reading more of your work... I wonder... have you ever tried writing freestyle poetry ? Different forms of poetry are an important tool for you to have in your poetic arsenal....


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## Underd0g (Apr 23, 2018)

Wow, "fierce", I've never been characterized as fierce before. My head swelled just a little.
Yeah, I'm an ideas guy, weak on execution. It's been fun here getting my feet wet.
Not familiar with the different types of poetry. I am a true newbie, have my own reasons for being here.
Thank you for the encouragement.


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## SilverMoon (Apr 25, 2018)

U -I would say you're a "natural" with some tidying up to do - like all of us which takes time and effort. I find much satisfaction in the process.



> Originally Posted by *FireMajic *I wonder... have you ever tried writing freestyle poetry ? Different forms of poetry are an important tool for you to have in your poetic arsenal....



Fire's suggestion - Take it! A mentor and writer extraordinaire...

 Here's a link which I have in my Favorites. A comprehensive list of poetry genres and figures of speech. 

https://literarydevices.net/

And I do love writing free verse because it affords me the opportunity to express myself without too many strictures


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## SilverMoon (Apr 25, 2018)

_PS - Culled from the above link pointing to Fire's mention of Free Verse. 
_
*Definition of Free Verse**

**Free verse is a literary device that can be defined as poetry that is free from limitations of regular meteror rhythm, and does not rhyme with fixed forms. Such poems are without rhythm and rhyme schemes, do not follow regular rhyme scheme rules, yet still provide artistic expression. In this way, the poet can give his own shape to a poem however he or she desires. However, it still allows poets to use alliteration, rhyme, cadences, and rhythms to get the effects that they consider are suitable for the piece.

**Function of Free Verse*

*Free verse is commonly used in contemporary poetry. Some poets have taken this technique as a freedom from rhythm and rhyme, because it changes people’s minds whimsically. Therefore, free verse is also called vers libre.
**The best thing about free verse is that poets can imagine the forms of any sound through intonations instead of meters. Free verse gives a greater freedom for choosing words, and conveying their meanings to the audience. Since it depends upon patterned elements like sounds, phrases, sentences, and words, it is free of artificiality of a typical poetic expression.*


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## Underd0g (Apr 25, 2018)

SilverMoon said:


> I would say you're a "natural" with some tidying up to do - like all of us which takes time and effort. I find such satisfaction in the process.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Oh gosh oh gosh oh my, I am at great risk of learning something.... J/K Silvermoon, this is very welcome. You are teaching at a pace I can manage and tolerate.
If you're interested, I have 2 tracks I'm on. Two juvenile stories and writing down observations in verse.
Here's my first chapter on one story:
https://www.writingforums.com/threads/176864-Andie-s-Mountain

I figure don't get too much on my plate, and welcome and be grateful for help... Thank you!!


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## Proseph Biden (May 3, 2018)

I think restructuring this poem to freeverse might help or try to work within its confines a bit more consistently, because at times it was quite varied across the poem. Ned's mention of vague concepts are of similar concern to me. It might help to root the sentiments in more concrete language and images. This is especially true when trying to describe these vague concepts, because "being alone" can mean so many things and can take so many forms (such as not getting knocks at the door, as you suggest -- and when using images such as this, it helps to invoke echoing language that ties it back to what you're trying to discuss in the poem).


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## Underd0g (May 4, 2018)

Proseph Biden said:


> I think restructuring this poem to freeverse might help or try to work within its confines a bit more consistently, because at times it was quite varied across the poem. Ned's mention of vague concepts are of similar concern to me. It might help to root the sentiments in more concrete language and images. This is especially true when trying to describe these vague concepts, because "being alone" can mean so many things and can take so many forms (such as not getting knocks at the door, as you suggest -- and when using images such as this, it helps to invoke echoing language that ties it back to what you're trying to discuss in the poem).



I like the way you guys talk, makes me wish I'd gone to college.
This was a spur of the moment work based on my experiences with my wife who has FTD.
For our 37 years of marriage we have been enough for each other. Not loners by any means but yeah, we've had conflicts with people. Now you think I'm a jerk and am admitting it with the poem.
But there is an element of our relationships that have had no conflict, but there is still a reluctance to associate with us in this new stage of our lives. When you go through it of course it overwhelms your thoughts, I guess I'm working them out a bit here.
I've been around young people with retardation and I know how uncomfortable it can be until you get through that adjustment period.
If any of you want to be a hero and know somebody going through this, give them enough time to find out what they are going through andwhat they might need that you could provide. It isn't as much as you might think.


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