# To My Only Friend.



## RhythmOvPain (Mar 31, 2015)

I wrote this a very long time ago. I only wrote a handful of poems, and they mostly all sucked or became song lyrics in some form or another which never amounted to anything. This one didn't suck or amount to anything. It's just... there. >>

To My Only Friend
-----------------

 I see only darkness in which I reside
I know only sorrow in which I confide

 I holster my emotions to emasculate the pain
But the feelings that I harbor will escape me once again

 Today was the day that I gave you the right
To pick out the day I surrender my life

 For every day I wake is one less day I die
To live for more, and more for you, the more and more I try

 If we should ever part I know that I would never cry
For this I know, should it occur, would be the day I die

 I cannot give my soul away, for I have none to give
But my heart is yours, to keep it means that I shall surely live

 Take my hand that I may know that this is not a dream
My heart for you beats ever more, though that is what it seems

 To know I have you by my side's what keeps me from the end
I love you more than anything, my closest, dearest friend.

I'unno. I wrote it for my wife. That didn't exactly end well (or lucratively), but evidently I didn't die. =P

CnC?


----------



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Apr 1, 2015)

Hah. Perhaps you still live, but we certainly all feel like we might die sometimes.

I thought I was the only one that liked writing really long couplets. Seems it's more common than I thought, and that makes me feel better about writing so many myself.

I think this could make a good song as well... It seemed quite lyric friendly and has a nice looseness that I prefer. Rules are good but when you're too restricting, poetry sounds robotic. This flowed quite nicely!

Stay handsome (wait, what?) and keep writing!

~Crowley~


----------



## Firemajic (Apr 2, 2015)

Rhythm ... Glad you survived to write this dark poem... First two couplets had me hooked... I loved the flow..sort of swept the emotions along ..each building in intensity.. Thank you for sharing your poem with me.. Peace always...jul


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Apr 2, 2015)

I thank you both, it really means a lot to me.

I never considered myself much of a poet.


----------



## Elvenswordsman (Apr 2, 2015)

Die every night in your sleep? Is this a poem on nightmares?


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Apr 2, 2015)

"For every day I wake is one less day I die"

I believe that was the line you questioned?

To clarify further: Every day I wake up is one more day I am _not_ dead.

Rikai dekimasu ka?


----------



## Elvenswordsman (Apr 2, 2015)

I understand better, yes. 


> One less day I die



 implies that you die more than once, perhaps there are better words to pass the idea that waking means you have yet to pass on.

Wakarimasu ka?


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Apr 2, 2015)

Eh. I can't bring myself to want to change it. The only logical thing to do would be to either re-write it, or re-word it to say "I'm not dead" and that just isn't poetic.

The context is simple enough for me to understand. If you know any Japanese, then you know how bruddy confusing IT can be sometimes.

Anata hikisagaru ka?


----------



## QDOS (Apr 3, 2015)

Ending relationships can be as painful as there beginnings. As you say you didn’t die so my hope for your sake  there is light at the end of the tunnel. 
Your verse a declaration, but as rhyming couplets needs a little attention.

3[SUP]rd[/SUP] Couplet – endings 
Today was the day that I offered you my tender 
To pick out the day for my life to surrender 

7[SUP]th[/SUP] Couplet endings  
Take my hand that I may know that this is not in my dreams 
My heart for you beats ever more, though that is what it seems

Hope this helps!

QDOS


----------



## escorial (Apr 6, 2015)

a piece i take as a literal interpretation of the poets feelings,emotions.....liked


----------



## ThecytochromeC (Apr 8, 2015)

I didn't know this style is called a couplet but I really relate to it as a writer. I definitely connect mentally on the train of thought and there's a lot of passion in it. thanks for sharing it, I think it was well done.


----------



## inkwellness (Apr 9, 2015)

This was a strong and bold piece in my view. A manly poem. I especially enjoyed the fourth stanza. Good stuff.


----------



## RhythmOvPain (Apr 9, 2015)

Thanks to errboddeh that likes it.


----------

