# you know you're getting old when. (2 Viewers)



## escorial

*you know your getting old when.*

you go to bed at the time when you use to go out..


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## Reichelina

Sleep: 

Five-year-old VERSUS Adult:


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## Crowley K. Jarvis

Using the bathroom takes twice as long as it used to.

And when you're done, you still feel like you have to go. x}


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## Jigawatt

... when you spend the day looking for your glasses, give up, then find them the next time you look in the mirror... on your head.


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## PrinzeCharming

Your candles cost more than your cake. :cupcake:


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## Olly Buckle

You referee a rugby match and get twenty pairs of false teeth to look after. (No-one can get a full team together in that league)


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## Reichelina




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## Wandering Man

Strangers offer to help you load your lumber into your pickup at at Lowes.

And you let them ...


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## am_hammy

When your knees start to squeak!


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## H.Brown

When you start forgetting simple things like something your told being forgotten after 30 mins


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## Reichelina

When you look through your photo albums and see a younger picture of yourself and you're like.... "I look so young here."


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## escorial

when your back goes out more than you


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## Reichelina




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## midnightpoet

...your household emergency is running out of toilet paper

...you realize your computer's spell check can't spell worth a darn

...you open the refrigerator door and realize you were looking for the salt shaker


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## Glhadiator

When threads like this don't seem as funny as they once did.


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## PrinzeCharming

You no longer say age is just a number.


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## LeeC

Do you remember my poem?


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## Sonata

When you have passed your allotted three-score years and ten, and wonder how on earth you managed to do it.


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## ppsage

When you get so irrationally irritated by spelling errors in the titles of things that you go out of your way to rant about them.


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## midnightpoet

When you complain that Twinkies are tough and hard to chew...(oh I forgot to put in my dentures)


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## The Green Shield

You find yourself petrified of teenagers and think they're all up to no good, forgetting of course that *you yourself* were once a teenager.


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## H.Brown

When you find yourself complaining about teenagers shouting at the back of the bus and having no manners and you realise you must have been the same at their age and become jealous. 

OR

When your sat at home contemplating an early night and living as though you already have a child, when in fact you don't and are just old and past clubbing.


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## dither

When you go upstairs to fetch or do something then wonder what the hell it was you went upstairs for. ](*,)


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## dither

The Green Shield said:


> You find yourself petrified of teenagers and think they're all up to no good, forgetting of course that *you yourself* were once a teenager.




Yes, that's me.
They're all scumbags.

Could be a short story there.
Mmm, wheels within wheels.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis

When you can hurt yourself by SLEEPING. 

Ever wake up sore, maybe your shoulder or neck, and wonder 'what the hell did I dream about?'


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## dither

Crowley K. Jarvis said:


> When you can hurt yourself by SLEEPING.
> 
> Ever wake up sore, maybe your shoulder or neck, and wonder 'what the hell did I dream about?'



Yep!
It's a bitch ain' it.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis

When you switch the first letter of words if you try and talk too fast.

My aunt Wendy once looked out the car window and said "Look! There's a woodheaded redpecker!"

Funniest thing I've ever heard, we laughed the entire car ride.


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## bazz cargo

I am refusing to grow up. I may have to grow old, but not up...


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## PrinzeCharming

You try to relive your childhood memories by watching your favorite cartoon shows on YouTube.


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## Olly Buckle

When all the old surgery from bike accidents aches.


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## Reichelina




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## midnightpoet

When you remember playing 36 holes of golf in one day and now you get tired after putt-putt.


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## Olly Buckle

When you have to measure something and it is exactly the size your experience estimated it at.


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## Reichelina

When you take a lot of vitamins and other maintenance meds.


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## Gofa

When they ask in hospital you fell off your skate board and youre how old ?


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## Sonata

When teenagers and early twenties do not have any idea what it is like being old.


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## EllaLouis

when you even THINK to click on this thread.

(and everything in there applies to you)


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## escorial

when you start listening to the doctor


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## midnightpoet

when you finally have enough courage to tell your doctor to listen to you!


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## Blade

You are talking to a younger person about how heroes have changed over the years. To illustrate a point you mention Joe DiMaggio only to discover that the young person has never heard of him.:dejection:


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## Phil Istine

When I show a kid how to multiply with number columns, and he shows me a grid system.


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## escorial

when farting becomes hazardous


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## dither

When everything seems pointless, just like this comment i suppose.


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## midnightpoet

When the memories of your youth fade from the dark synapses of your brain, and you are left with a few unreal glimpses of the past - and the world that you knew 60 years ago seems to have existed only in your dreams.


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## dither

I do wonder about that.
Age, apparently, does affect our memory.


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## escorial

when you think prices should stay the same


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## Sonata

When Wagon Wheels are so much smaller.


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## dither

It's not just wagon wheels.


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## escorial

when time flies


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## dither

Tell me about it.


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## escorial

dither said:


> Tell me about it.




i was told after reaching 21 time would fly and i have to say it was a remarkably accurate prediction....


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## Blade

You have a shower and/or bath not when you should or when you feel like it but when your joints feel like it.:grey:

Come to think of it you might be getting old when you start wasting you time explaining the past to younger people.:scratch:


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## Wandering Man

You're getting old when you are considered healthy for your age, and yet you need five doctors or other health care professionals to keep you "running."


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## dale

you know you're getting old...when you start thinking about signs that make you old.


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## Allysan

You know you're getting old when you start to actually enjoy the shows at theme parks more than the rides themselves


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## CPMurphy

When you tell someone something funny you did in your past, and then realize that it was over 30 years ago


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## Sleepwriter

Your ears start stealing the hair from your head.  

The music you listened to as a teen is now classic rock, but then again what else could it be.

the existence of the internet, tablets and most portable electronics


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## Olly Buckle

A lot of these posts are about being old rather than getting old, you know you are getting old when other people seem young and naive. Their attitude towards you changes as well, instead of calling you a 'know it all' they start calling you 'wise'. I am not sure what happens if you are ignorant and stupid, I never was.


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## Pluralized

When you realize the people you've loved, lost, and taken for granted will never return. When you realize that the 'you' that experienced all those wonderful times is a different person than you are now. 

When the feeling of always missing out subsides and you turn in at 9pm on Friday night.

When you choose reading, sipping coffee, or getting a chore done instead of pleasuring yourself. 

When you realize how often you repeat those 'One Time...' stories and nobody cares anymore. 

When you throw your back out checking out the gray hairs on your danglers. 

When you embrace the stream of ever-changing time and give yourself over to change. 

When you don't recognize photos of yourself anymore.


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## Sleepwriter

When they quit carding you for beer


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## Sonata

You know you are getting old when wearing a vest in the winter seems sensible.


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## blazeofglory

I think when one comes home early, frequents going to temples or churches or talks too much arrogantly and gets angry soon for not getting enough attention. Oldness and age are not necessarily substitutable. Even young persons behave as elderly and old people behave as if they are young. It depends on how healthy and active one is. The best thing to avoid aging is to be more participative in social activities, and to be more romantic and indulge in romances. That gives even the elderly the hue of youthfulness.


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## Sleepwriter

store clerks ask if you are using the senior discount


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## Phil Istine

... when you sit down in front of a computer, juggle words around to make them sound nice, and call it hard work.


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## escorial

teenagers have your old hairstyle


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## midnightpoet

When the chickens come home to roost: I remember our old high school principal, bald and smooth on top. We called him "old baldy" and worse (not to his face, of course). Now I have less hair than he did.


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## Olly Buckle

when I look over the bikes outside the cafe on the main road and realise I have not ridden any of those models.


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## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> when I look over the bikes outside the cafe on the main road and realise I have not ridden any of those models.






my first bike..now considered a classic


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## LeX_Domina

When I realized that I was around when people were wearing high-top fades and box cuts

-actually ,i' like 23,but I feel like an old bitch.Is this unusual?


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## PiP

When the clothes you wore as a teenager are considered retro and worth more money now than you paid for them originally.


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## escorial

PiP said:


> When the clothes you wore as a teenager are considered retro and worth more money now than you paid for them originally.



that is so crazy but so true......since ebay everything has a price..gone are the days when you paid pence for books in charity shops.....


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## LeeC

When your grandson wants to borrow one of your ties.


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## escorial

LeeC said:


> When your grandson wants to borrow one of your ties.



kipper ties back in fasion LC


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## aj47

When your kid tells you about this great new song they heard and it's a cover of something older than they are. ("I Can't Help Falling In Love With You")


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## escorial

the rolling stones are still gigging


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## Cran

You realise you're getting old when, after much trial and error, you know exactly how to get the girl, but - 

A. You wonder if it's worth hanging out in places where the noise affects your hearing aid.

B. You wonder if you can still do anything about it once you get the girl.

C. You're afraid of being compared to Santa or the Grim Reaper.

D. You notice that most are young enough to be your daughter, or worse, your granddaughter.

E. Dancing makes you dizzy.


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## escorial

dizzy....man i have not seen that word for years..ha,ha


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## escorial

after hearing street preachers screaming the end is nigh for the umpteen time


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## Cran

or when you are about to go out and you've forgotten to switch your prescription reading glasses for your prescription driving glasses (happened yesterday).

or when you find yourself resisting the urge, or worse succumbing to the urge, to ask, "are you old enough to be a doctor?"*


_*or lawyer, teacher, police officer, mayor, prime minister of Canada, etc._


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## Sonata

Cran said:


> or when you are about to go out and you've forgotten to switch your prescription reading glasses for your prescription driving glasses (happened yesterday).
> 
> or when you find yourself resisting the urge, or worse succumbing to the urge, to ask, "are you old enough to be a doctor?"*
> 
> 
> _*or lawyer, teacher, police officer, mayor, prime minister of Canada, etc._



Or when you need three pairs [correct, three pairs or each] prescription computer glasses, one for the computer, one for food prep [both mid distance]... in the kitchen...  half and half bifocals for being out... distance for going out on mobility scooter... reading glasses for actutal reading...  

Oh, I do not drive any more so I do not need driving glasses.


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## PrinzeCharming

I just had this moment the other day at work. A young child was carrying around Pokemon cards. A whole new generation of cards I have never seen before. I told him that I've had cards since 1999.


"You know you're getting older when a kid looks at you .. in such a way .. that makes you _feel _old."


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## Sonata

PrinzeCharming said:


> I just had this moment the other day at work. A young child was carrying around Pokemon cards. A whole new generation of cards I have never seen before. I told him that I've had cards since 1999.
> 
> 
> "You know you're getting older when a kid looks at you .. in such a way .. that makes you _feel _old."



Sorry, but what is a Pokemon card?


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## Wandering Man

Sonata said:


> Or when you need three pairs [correct, three pairs or each] prescription computer glasses, one for the computer, one for food prep [both mid distance]... in the kitchen...  half and half bifocals for being out... distance for going out on mobility scooter... reading glasses for actutal reading...
> 
> Oh, I do not drive any more so I do not need driving glasses.



Oh Gosh!  I have two pair of computer glasses (one at home one at the office), Regular trifocals, Driving glasses, and shooting glasses.


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## Sonata

Wandering Man said:


> Oh Gosh!  I have two pair of computer glasses (one at home one at the office), Regular trifocals, Driving glasses, and shooting glasses.



I think I made a mistake.  Trifocals no.  Bifocals yes.  Half and half.  

Two pairs of distance only sun glasses for when I am only on my mobility scooter.

Two pairs of mid distant computer and/or kitchen cooking glasses.

Do not ask how many pairs of bifocals I have.  Six?

Ahem - been wearing glasses since I was ickly.  And I have a "friend" who has an - what do you call it?  Dat place where they test eyes and whatever.


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## LeX_Domina

lived through every single season of law and prder and everything dick wolf ever created.

or better,you actually remember Micheal jackson when he was black (RIP,)


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## Cran

PrinzeCharming said:


> I just had this moment the other day at work. A young child was carrying around Pokemon cards. A whole new generation of cards I have never seen before. I told him that I've had cards since 1999.
> 
> 
> "You know you're getting older when a kid looks at you .. in such a way .. that makes you _feel _old."


It frightens the young 'uns that some people can remember all the way back to last century ... no, last _millennium!_ So old!
_
You know you're getting old when_ you look in the mirror and realise that your high forehead has stretched all the way to the horizon.

_You know you're getting old when you_ accuse the kids of playing games on their iPads (or whatever it is this week) but it turns out to be their homework.


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## Sonata

_
You know you're getting old when_ you look in the mirror and you see your Mother or Father looking back at you.


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## Sleepwriter

You know you're getting old when your children have babies of their own.


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## PrinzeCharming

The only time you get carded is when the cashier wants to know your birth _day_. Never the year.


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## lvcabbie

When you watch a show like Emergency! or The Rockford Files and you remember when they were first shown.

Or you listen to Big Band music and remember when you danced to it at your Senior Prom.


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## Sleepwriter

When you remember when mtv quit showing music videos!!!


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## PrinzeCharming

Sleepwriter said:


> When you remember when mtv quit showing music videos!!!



When you feel bad for the kids growing up to what they think are cool music videos.


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## Stormcat

you realize "The nineties" was almost thirty years ago.


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## Olly Buckle

Stormcat said:


> you realize "The nineties" was almost thirty years ago.



And I was fifty in ninety four.


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## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> And I was fifty in ninety four.




[video=youtube_share;vAzaOZfgf0M]https://youtu.be/vAzaOZfgf0M[/video]

belated but apt....


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## Terry D

When you can tell someone why Tang was invented.
When you can remember when Bic pens were new.
When the newest music in your CD player is Matchbox Twenty.
When you still have a CD player.
When you wear a hat not because it looks good, but to keep from getting a sunburn on your bald spot.
When you suddenly realize you've been sleeping with a grandmother for ten years.


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## escorial

Terry D said:


> When you can tell someone why Tang was invented.
> When you can remember when Bic pens were new.
> When the newest music in your CD player is Matchbox Twenty.
> When you still have a CD player.
> When you wear a hat not because it looks good, but to keep from getting a sunburn on your bald spot.
> When you suddenly realize you've been sleeping with a grandmother for ten years.



grandmotherophile..ha,ha


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## lvcabbie

Sleepwriter said:


> When you remember when mtv quit showing music videos!!!



I remember MTV when it first started and was shown on Armed Forces Network.


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## Olly Buckle

I remember when children's hour was on the radio, and Dan Dare was on radio Luxumberg. I remember a TV drama about the Hungarian revolution, that was Oct.  '56

I was allowed to stop up and listen to the original broadcast of "Under Milkwood".


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## sigmadog

From my former hobby as a standup comic:

I know I'm getting old because I'm no longer interested in sex. To be honest, these days I actually get more pleasure from food. Other times I just eat it…

Food is the new sex for me and I can prove it – I watched a porno about two young ladies, a blonde and a brunette, living together in an apartment, one of whom phones in a pizza order for delivery. That's as far as I got…

My fantasies have changed, too. I used to fantasize about bringing exotic women into my bed. Now I fantasize about exotic women bringing me breakfast in bed. Yeah. I used to stuff them, now they stuff me.

When I finally fall asleep my dreams have changed. I used to dream of Salma Hayek in a hot tub. Now I dream of Paula Dean cooking bacon, and I wake up with drool on my pillow. On the bright side, at least I can still have a wet dream.

My body is telling me I'm getting old in other ways, too – my prostate seems to be permanently set on "Mist". Put it this way, I'm not a sharpshooter anymore, but if you have a houseplant that needs a good spritzing, give me a call.

But they say you're as young as you feel. Perhaps. All I know is that my penis feels like a teenager – no matter what I do I just can't get it to work.

Thank you. Please tip your waitress.


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## Sonata

Sleepwriter said:


> You know you're getting old when your children have babies of their own.



Especially when those babies are now in their mid-20s - the children are in their mid/late-40s and I think I am going doolally as I am only 47 - whoops, 74.

See what I mean?


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## Tealynn

When you live to see fashion come back around ... And around...
When you tell someone to "hang up the phone" and they have no idea what you're talking about.


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## Olly Buckle

When the number of dead people you know equals the number of living people you know.


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## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> When the number of dead people you know equals the number of living people you know.



that is a scary thought.....


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## 20oz

...it's still limp. :sour:


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## Tealynn

Pillow lines seem to hang out longer on your face than they used too...:frown:


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## Sleepwriter

Tealynn said:


> Pillow lines seem to hang out longer on your face than they used too...:frown:



The pillow goes under your head


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## Cran

Tealynn said:


> Pillow lines seem to hang out longer on your face than they used too...:frown:


... and you can no longer use that excuse to explain the wrinkles.


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## Sonata

Tealynn said:


> Pillow lines seem to hang out longer on your face than they used too...:frown:



And they hang around all day. 



Sleepwriter said:


> The pillow goes under your head



But your face is on your head.



Cran said:


> ... and you can no longer use that excuse to explain the wrinkles.



I like my wrinkles - I earned every one of them!


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## Ultraroel

All my friends around me are getting married and kids and buying houses.. and here I am with my immature behaviour


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## Cran

Ultraroel said:


> All my friends around me are getting married and kids and buying houses.. and here I am with my immature behaviour



Someone wise once said, "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional." 

Someone also once said, "I plan to grow old disgracefully." 

I have taken this advice to heart.


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## dither

Cran said:


> Someone wise once said, "Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional."
> 
> Someone also once said, "I plan to grow old disgracefully."
> 
> I have taken this advice to heart.



Not so much disgracefully i would venture, so much as a  determination, bordering on bloody mindedness , to please one's self.


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## escorial

when you tell people your age....


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## LeeC

escorial said:


> when you tell people your age....


What's telling about that? When I'm asked my age I always reply truthfully, as any fiction writer would, that I'm 45. 

All this goin' on about age is for the young. Think of how much happiness you derive from seeing old folks and knowing you've got a good way to go yet  

So maybe, you know you're getting old when you stop counting ;-)


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## PrinzeCharming

Love handles show up on your face!


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## escorial

LeeC said:


> What's telling about that? When I'm asked my age I always reply truthfully, as any fiction writer would, that I'm 45.
> 
> All this goin' on about age is for the young. Think of how much happiness you derive from seeing old folks and knowing you've got a good way to go yet
> 
> So maybe, you know you're getting old when you stop counting ;-)



you know when your getting old when you think 45 is young


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## LeeC

ya got me there es


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## escorial

when happy hour is a nap...


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## LeeC

escorial said:


> when happy hour is a nap...


uh-oh, you're gettin' personal


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## JustRob

You reply to an email two years after receiving it and wonder whether the person has moved on. Yes, I just did that -- and it was a business matter. Even solicitors deal with things faster than that.


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## Sonata

When you think of the woman who lives up the road as "the old dear" - and then find out she is ten years younger than you are.


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## JustRob

You feel justified in not giving up your seat to the "elderly".


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## escorial

when all your gadgets have leather flaps


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## LeeC

when memories cause you to leak at both ends


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## patskywriter

when you’re enjoying the music of the offspring of the people you listened to as a kid.


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## Bloggsworth

When you keep on having to delete names from your phone-book...


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## Sleepwriter

When you can remember watching the first airing of variety shows on TV.


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## midnightpoet

When you realize that the late night tv hosts are all not only younger than you, but you don't understand their jokes (I miss Johnny Carson - and actually, Dave Garroway).


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## KThoughts

You place your phone or papers in a simple place when you came back it wasn't there but it turns out didn't leave it on a simple place (desks) you left in somewhere obvious..
It happens to me :-k (If I meant by obvious place I meant by the bed or the by the shelves) 

When you have about 15+ children to take care off and you are relaxed with them... 
When you have 300+ Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors that admire you and always ask for your help....


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## Olly Buckle

KThoughts said:


> You place your phone or papers in a simple place when you came back it wasn't there but it turns out didn't leave it on a simple place (desks) you left in somewhere obvious..
> It happens to me :-k (If I meant by obvious place I meant by the bed or the by the shelves)  ..



That would be like putting something somewhere so safe you can't find it?


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## KThoughts

Olly Buckle said:


> That would be like putting something somewhere so safe you can't find it?




Yes sir! It's always troublesome for me I don't know if I'm careless or what


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## escorial

when times goes pretty fast...


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## PrinzeCharming

You find the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the refrigerator.


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## OccultAngel16

When you rewatch Pokemon the First Movie and tear up when Ash nearly dies :-({|=.


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## escorial

When skin becomes loose


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## Ultraroel

When you realize that people from 1998 can be "adult"


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## Crowley K. Jarvis

PrinzeCharming said:


> You find the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the refrigerator.



Or when you find your car keys in the freezer..


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## JustRob

I was recently filling in a national survey on lifestyle and shopping, a genuine one by a government backed market research company (They even pay you for it.), and reached a question about how much my desktop computer cost. As I buy most of my technical stuff on the Internet I checked back through my email archives for the purchase details. When I couldn't find the purchase it dawned on me that I bought this computer so that I could first start using the Internet at home, so of course the purchase couldn't possibly be recorded in my emails. Idiot! I bought a high specification machine so that it would remain usable for a long time, evidently far too long for my feeble memory. Being a computer professional I had plenty of offline computers around the house before that but had never bothered with an Internet connection, being so reclusive. When you know a lot about such things it's other people who want to contact you about them, so being offline isn't a bad strategy for a quiet life until people think you're too old to know anything worthwhile. My newest computer is a laptop/tablet, included in the survey separately.

On the other hand, my oldest computer is still under construction, being probably the newest 1960s mainframe computer in the world, but then I am a time traveller in my spare -- what do you call the second dimension of time? Imagination, maybe. You'd have to ask a writer about that if you happen to know one.


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## Sleepwriter

when you can give advice due to your life experiences.


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## Kevin

When you're as old as this guy:


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## Sonata

When kids in their 20s think they know what it will be like to be getting old but they have not got a clue as to what it is like.


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## JustRob

1) you can remember when you used to do that.

2) you can't remember when you used to do that.

3) you've no idea what that is.


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## Sleepwriter

When you remember when air was free at the gas station.


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## escorial

When religion is worth another look


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## Olly Buckle

Sleepwriter said:


> When you remember when air was free at the gas station.



when I remember working there putting the petrol in the cars.


----------



## escorial

when you dance like your dad


----------



## afk4life

When you wake up knowing there's new experiences in store for you, and you know most of them won't be good ones.


----------



## Sonata

When you cannot find one pair of light grey and two pairs of black leggings that had never been worn and you know exactly where you put them when they arrived.

Buggrit


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## Sleepwriter

When you're older than your boss


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## Sonata

When the lovely young girl who seems to have adopted me thinks I am 57 and I do not have the courage to tell her how wrong she is.


----------



## escorial

when you run dead slow....


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## bazz cargo

When I get funny looks for being a spitfire pilot on the recreation ground swings.


----------



## escorial

bazz cargo said:


> When I get funny looks for being a spitfire pilot on the recreation ground swings.




do you swing both ways....


----------



## aj47

... when you have to explain DR-DOS.


----------



## escorial

when your underpants cover your bellybutton


----------



## PiP

You take your daughter to lunch at nice restaurant with stunning views. Her only comment was: Wow, this place is full of the false teeth brigade! *crushed*


----------



## escorial

gummy people are happy people....


----------



## LeeC

bazz cargo said:


> When I get funny looks for being a spitfire pilot on the recreation ground swings.


It's the spitfire that gives it away ;-)  [produced between 1938 and 1948, be something the kids know of]


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## Kevin

> You take your daughter to lunch at nice restaurant with stunning views. Her only comment was: Wow, this place is full of the false teeth brigade! *crushed*


Hmmm... Word association: Daughter; Mother; Father; Mother, smothers, Father, Daughter...


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## PiP

Kevin said:


> Hmmm... Word association: Daughter; Mother; Father; Mother, smothers, Father, Daughter...



:scratch:


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## Kevin

PiP said:


> :scratch:


 Sorry... I left out pillow. Your family _does_ sleep sometimes?   Pillow, smother, Daughter, by mother...


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## aj47

.... when that makes you remember the Smothers Brothers.


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## Kevin

^^^Tommy or ...? (oh crap, I can't remember)


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## aj47

... when you'd rather admit you forgot Dick's name than google to find out.


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## Sleepwriter

When you know they won't hire you because of your age, though you are more than qualified.


----------



## PrinzeCharming

You're the target audience for COD, but you still play Pokemon on old school platforms.


----------



## Bard_Daniel

...when you remember blowing on the Sega Genesis cartridges in order to get the dust out and make them work.


----------



## aj47

.... when you remember telling your kids that blowing on the cartridges was *not* magic.


----------



## PrinzeCharming




----------



## LeeC

danielstj said:


> ...when you remember blowing on the Sega Genesis cartridges in order to get the dust out and make them work.


The what ;-)


----------



## LeeC

When half the time you have no idea what others are talking about.


----------



## Boofy

When you see your little sister posting doge memes and you try to share with her the art of rick rolling but she just doesn't understand it. It can't have been forgotten about already. .____.


----------



## Gyarachu

When you look up "what the kids are saying these days" before interacting with a group of youth to make sure you understand them.

Apparently "bomb diggity" is out, by the way...


----------



## LeeC

When tiring yourself out looking up the meaning of what a younger generation posts -- been one of those nights.


----------



## LeeC

When you show someone a picture of something you fondly remember, and they look at you with sympathy. 



This was an advanced model when they came out with the rotary dial.


----------



## Phil Istine

When a youngster tells me I'm wicked, and it takes a week to realise it was a compliment.


----------



## escorial

LeeC said:


> When you show someone a picture of something you fondly remember, and they look at you with sympathy.
> 
> View attachment 14109
> 
> This was an advanced model when they came out with the rotary dial.





looks like a wooden bender


----------



## escorial

i'm in the library and a guy next to me is writing something on the key pad with one finger and I'm thinking..man your about the same age as me....


----------



## JustRob

They've stopped making refills for everything that you own.


----------



## midnightpoet

You wear socks to bed because your feet get cold.


----------



## JustRob

midnightpoet said:


> You wear socks to bed because your feet get cold.



...  or because you can't reach them to take them off.


----------



## afk4life

I still have no idea how people texted with these things.



LeeC said:


> When you show someone a picture of something you fondly remember, and they look at you with sympathy.
> 
> View attachment 14109
> 
> This was an advanced model when they came out with the rotary dial.


----------



## JustRob

afk4life said:


> I still have no idea how people texted with these things.



Morse code of course.


----------



## LeeC

Before the innovation of rotary dialing, each household had a designated ring signal. A ring signal consisted of a series of long and short bursts with the hand cranked magneto, to identify the household on the party line that was being called. There were twenty some ranches on our party line. If you don't know what a party line was, then you can't easily identify with this thread 

Anyway, I suppose one could have used Morse code to broadcast a message to all the households on a party line, but that's not the same as texting an individual.


----------



## TJ1985

When you wish you had kept that old rickity typewriter you learned to type on because a new print cartridge is $21.99 and you don't have it to spare. 

Seriously, it was uncomfortable to use, hard to correct mistakes, and fairly limited in scope, however it'd do exactly what I need done for almost the cost of the paper alone. I had it for five years and never had to redope the ribbon. It worked. Now I have a really nice "all-in-one" printer that's more high-maintenance than most humans I know.


----------



## aj47

lol, yes, my high maintenance daughter bought me such a printer for my birthday after she moved out...funny how that works.


----------



## JustRob

LeeC said:


> Anyway, I suppose one could have used Morse code to broadcast a message to all the households on a party line, but that's not the same as texting an individual.



As I don't use SMS the strange codified pseudo-language employed in it is as meaningful to me as Morse code, which I also never used. In the early days of computing we had to devise ways of cramming lots of information into a very small space just because the computers had so very little memory. Now that even a phone has masses of it people text, abbreviating everything as much as possible.

You know you're getting old when the things that you used to do come back into fashion ... and you can't understand why.

By the way, I suspect that a phreaker could do some pretty clever things by tapping out code on a phone.


----------



## Terry D

You know you are getting old when more than half the people you meet are younger than you.

When they stop asking you if you want the senior discount and just give it to you.


----------



## Bard_Daniel

You know you're getting old when you always prefer phone calls to texting-- or so it seems.

Yes, I am one of those people.


----------



## Sonata

You know you are getting old when you surface at 7am, let the puppy out of her crate and clip her on her tether to go out for a p&p - and then have to go back to bed for another couple of hours sleep.


----------



## 4xdblack

I realized I became an adult when I ate cake for breakfast... And then felt guilty about it later.


----------



## Reichelina

When you see the candles and not the cake.


----------



## afk4life

When the fire department gets called because you were real drunk and landed on the cake and lit candles went everywhere.


----------



## JustRob

You ... No, it's gone.


----------



## Sonata

When you want to go to bed and it is not 9pm yet.


----------



## JustRob

Sonata said:


> When you want to go to bed and it is not 9pm yet.



Or when your wife wakes you up and tells you it's time to turn the TV off and go to bed ... almost every evening.

And when you sleep through part of a TV programme, so you rewind the video recording of it ... so that you can sleep through it again.

And when the only things on TV raucous enough to wake you up are the adverts, so they are pretty much all you remember seeing.

And when you realise after a while that the crime that the people from one series were investigating earlier has been solved by others from a completely different series and it's an hour later than you thought ...

The funniest such occurrence was when I slept through part of a programme, so asked my apparently alert angel "Where did the people on the boat fit into the story?" and she replied "Boat? What boat? Was there a boat?" Yes, there was that time.

How did I manage to write a novel then? Maybe I just have to write to stay awake nowadays.


----------



## escorial

when you stop eating healthy food and eat food packed with preservatives because you need all the help you can get...


----------



## LeeC

when wherever you are, you start leaking from the other end ...


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You are nice to your daughter in law, because you forgot who she was.


----------



## PrinzeCharming

Farts are liquefied.


----------



## Sleepwriter

PrinzeCharming said:


> Farts are liquefied.




that happens with cheap beer.


----------



## Olly Buckle

You keep your change in some sort of purse instead of having it loose in your pocket.


----------



## sigmadog

You can't remember where you buried the last hooker you killed.


----------



## playerslayer666

When the toys that I use to play with are now behind a glass case in a used game store.... And I can remember a time when "used game stores" didn't exist. They were comic book shops and toy stores.

When you keep calling a mall by its former name you use to know it as before it changed.

When you see Pokemon go from something that you get made fun of for loving to something you get made fun of if you don't know what it is.


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

People make allowances for you when you make racist or inappropriate comments. (Please note that this does not apply to Prince Philip or presidential candidates)


----------



## dither

When tomorrow really doesn't matter.
When it's all about just seeing out another day safely.


----------



## dither

Olly Buckle said:


> You keep your change in some sort of purse instead of having it loose in your pocket.



Lol!
I have one of those cellophane bags that the banks give out for shrapnel.


----------



## dither

sigmadog said:


> You can't remember where you buried the last hooker you killed.



Man that's old.


----------



## dither

Sonata said:


> When you want to go to bed and it is not 9pm yet.



For me, if i'm not working, there is no "bed-time."
Eat sleep drink pee whenever.


----------



## dither

So how's this multi-quote work?


----------



## Bard_Daniel

When you remember how going to arcades was the cool thing to do.


----------



## Sleepwriter

danielstj said:


> When you remember how going to arcades was the cool thing to do.




I've often thought about opening up a late 80's style arcade room, and should I ever hit the lottery.  I probably will.


----------



## Winston

...is it nap time yet...


----------



## Plasticweld

I went running tonight, best stress relief after a very long week.    I try....the key word is try do 6 miles.  I was stretching at the end trail when a  young woman made her way towards me, she was turning around and heading in the direction I was planning on going, so I asked if she would like to run with me.   I told her I was old and wore out and needed to get back in shape. I told her I wanted to compete in a Spartan race with my kids and that this is my effort to do so.   She asked me what school my kids went to: perplexed for a moment at the question, I realized that she thought I was much younger than I am.  I told her my kids were 36 and 33 and had not attended school in many years.  She told me she was 18.  

We chatted as we ran, her at amazing fast pace, me to proud to admit I could not keep up.  She ran cross country track at school, I graduated 40 years ago and it has been a few years since I ran seriously. 

I ended up not making in more than half way before I had to stop running and do a fast walk until I caught my breath, we started running again and she looked at me and said "Ya know my mom can't run, and she isn't anywhere near as old as you!"    I thanked her for making me feel my age and for the complement...


----------



## LeeC

Your story Bob, brings to mind back in my thirties, when trying to keep my weight down I was jogging. There was a lake nearby that had a several mile path around it. On one occasion I nearly killed myself, trying to keep a nice doe in sight.


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> You keep your change in some sort of purse instead of having it loose in your pocket.




I've done that..ha,ha..why I do not know...


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You wonder why everyone looks horrified when you strut your stuff on the dance-floor.


----------



## escorial

Shirl the Whirl said:


> You wonder why everyone looks horrified when you strut your stuff on the dance-floor.




dad dancin rocks man...


----------



## escorial

when you start threads like this.....


----------



## Sonata

escorial said:


> when you start threads like this.....



...and while you are reading it you nod your head in agreement.


----------



## escorial

when you forget to stop nodding


----------



## dither

I've been off work for almost two weeks now. Shall probably be off for another six weeks and i sit lay lounge around doing nothing. Not that one can do much with a broken arm but the thing is, i don't mind. There was a time when i couldn't sit still for a minute and this level of  inertia would have driven me nuts. Now i'm content to  sit and do nothing. Don't even want to think. Maybe i'm just worn out. Only a couple more years too go. I'd go out for walks, if only to buy a newspaper, but i struggle to wash myself. It's not impossible but what a palaver.


----------



## escorial

dither said:


> I've been off work for almost two weeks now. Shall probably be off for another six weeks and i sit lay lounge around doing nothing. Not that one can do much with a broken arm but the thing is, i don't mind. There was a time when i couldn't sit still for a minute and this level of  inertia would have driven me nuts. Now i'm content to  sit and do nothing. Don't even want to think. Maybe i'm just worn out. Only a couple more years too go. I'd go out for walks, if only to buy a newspaper, but i struggle to wash myself. It's not impossible but what a palaver.



you wrote this and you pure your feelings into words.......


----------



## dither

Frustration Escorial,
Frustration.
I do despair of myself.


----------



## escorial

frustrated words but your communicating and that's a good thing man...


----------



## dither

Yeah, i suppose.


----------



## escorial

go for that walk man..if your unwashed and unshaven..walk till your bored,walk till your tierd..walk till you get to that point were you think what's the point in walking...


----------



## dither

And then?

I last washed, took a shower on Friday morning for my Hospital appointment.

Wouldn't hurt to go out i suppose. Just make sure i don't get too close to anybody, or upwind.But then, why would? I don't need to shop.


----------



## escorial

and then you face the same old crap but on that walk you may forget for one second one minute..it might turn into 30 minutes before it all comes back and it's a start


----------



## dither

Thanks for making me smile Escorial, i'll think about it.


----------



## escorial

thinking is often the cause and distraction is what helps...........


----------



## dither

Yeah, ( deep sigh ),,,i know.  Thinks wistfully.


----------



## escorial

dither said:


> Yeah, ( deep sigh ),,,i know.


...i agree


----------



## escorial

i never know if your just playing a part or being you..or maybe both....


----------



## dither

Escorial,
what you see is what you get.
I don't play parts.
I have moods/phases, don't we all.


----------



## escorial

it's just a feeling i've built up over time..i'm not very good with people but i'm much better with words and your words never always convey one train of thought...were all complex,layered..but i think you hide in your words at times...


----------



## dither

I think you're probably right there.


----------



## escorial

probably is another word to hide behind...


----------



## dither

Yes, i can see that.

Let's just say i wouldn't care to disagree.
And how ambiguous is that?
I'm a thinker, never sure of anything.

Always the yes but...


----------



## escorial

i reckon dither is a play and your the cast


----------



## dither

Could be Escorial,
could be.
If i ever figure myself out, and i'm not sure that i'd want to...
Who knows?


Reckon i might just make myself another coffee and go lie down for a while.


----------



## escorial

mmmm......


----------



## dither

I smell. Really.:concern:


----------



## dither

Well, i did get my sorry arse into gear and i took that walk.


----------



## dither

I GOT BOOKS:

Well? As i said,

I took that walk, and as i got ready to leave i had a hunch that the library might be open. They have a crap selection usually but what the hell. "A Handful of Dust by Evelyn Waugh" and " Ride a White Swan. The lives and death of Marc Bolan."
Recalling what someone said recently about reading two books simultaneously i thought yeah, how's that for contrast? We shall see. All i needed to do now was scan the damned things out and get a receipt. Was that all? I pressed issue on the touch-pad and i was instructed to scan my card. After about the fourth try i sought out assistance of a librarian.
"Well your card does look a bit worn sir but let's give it a try." Well, we all know what happened next don't we. Okay! So i'm a silly old fart who doesn't his arse from his broken elbow. Alright!

MOVING ON,

The day started grey and it's grey now but it certainly hasn't been cold. I thought i smelled earlier. After the library i just took a steady stroll to a green at the center of the village, found a seat and sat. Traffic was slow, and the pace of people out shopping, or just walking, was easy. I love easy. Didn't see anybody that i knew, yes i did, a woman from down my street. She half raised a hand and wiggled her fingers at me as she passed by on the other side of the road.

Maples around the green swayed in what was really a welcome breeze. Clouds varied between fluffy off-whites and thunderous blackened-blues and the sun, that has remained hidden for most of the day, did it's best.
At times it felt as though someone up there in the great blue yonder was toying with the heat-settings. Eventually that lovely warm breeze turned quite chilly. The heavens opened and it lashed down for a few minutes. Luckily there's a public loo by the green. You can't get wet when you're wearing plaster of Paris. Disaster was averted and i still have cast on my arm.

After that, although i was in no rush to get home, all the benches were soaked so i made my way back.


Well there you go Escorial,

Happy daze...


----------



## ned

you know* you're* getting old when -

you get annoyed by so called writers not having basic grammar skills
and relate 'you know *your* getting old' - appalling! 
especially, for the title of a thread in a creative writing site.

shame on you...


----------



## escorial

when you can't spell proper england....


----------



## PiP

You know you are getting old when you can't outrun a two year old child.


----------



## escorial

PiP said:


> You know you are getting old when you can't outrun a two year old child.






ways and means PiP...


----------



## Olly Buckle

Out run, not run down.


----------



## dither

Amazed, 
i can't put this Evelyn Waugh thing down.
Brilliant.
Again, a bit of a slow-starter, maybe that's just me.


----------



## JustRob

... you heave a few bricks around in the garden and put your back out. And I thought I'd got away with that concreting on Thursday. Apparently not. It happened just a short while ago and I can barely stand, let alone walk now. At least our log store is weatherproof though. I've ordered a load of logs to be delivered on Friday. I'm not sure how they'll find their way from the roadside into the log store now though. Perhaps an angel will help me out. She's always had more muscles than I have.

P.S. They were Southwater bricks weighing seven pounds each as well, so not your average house bricks. The concrete bricks were even heavier.


----------



## dither

When you see a poster advertising a coffee-morning at your local Church and actually think a bout going. There was something else going on besides the coffee-gig, can't remember  now. I probably would have gone as well but i could do with a wash and really, who needs it?

I shall, in all likelihood, go out sometime if only to stretch my legs and get a bottle of gut-rot cider but that's not  mingling with others in a confined space.


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> When you see a poster advertising a coffee-morning at your local Church and actually think a bout going. There was something else going on besides the coffee-gig, can't remember  now. I probably would have gone as well but i could do with a wash and really, who needs it?
> 
> I shall, in all likelihood, go out sometime if only to stretch my legs and get a bottle of gut-rot cider but that's not  mingling with others in a confined space.


Sounds like a lucky escape to me, such events seem to be predominantly attended by widowed ladies of a certain age for whom a dishevelled man who is obviously womanless is fair game. Do not underestimate ladies of a certain age. On the other hand mingling in a confined space can be most enjoyable if it is your space and you choose who to mingle with, you never get too old for that.


----------



## dither

Never lose it?

I never _had _​it.


I hadn't thought of it as a social occasion but why not? I suppose.

NOW HERE'S ONE TOTALLY OFF TOPIC:

In the above sentence, i'm clearly asking "why not?", but that question mark seems out of place. Just doesn't look right because if i was saying that to somebody i'd simply say why not i suppose. No pause in the middle but i _am _asking.sort of.

It doesn't belong does it.  And there's another one.

I think we have covered this somewhere.


----------



## escorial

when you start chatting up grandmothers


----------



## dither

Tell you what Escorial,
there isn't anything wrong with grandmothers.

At least there's some hope of a conversation. So much to talk about.


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

The labour saving devices that you grew up with start turning up in museums.


----------



## escorial

Shirl the Whirl said:


> The labour saving devices that you grew up with start turning up in museums.





happy day's......


----------



## LeeC

You saw this scene firsthand:


----------



## escorial

when you drank from glass bottles of pop


----------



## Sonata

escorial said:


> when you drank from glass bottles of pop



When the pop bottle delivery guy used to turn up - but that was a long time ago.


----------



## Wandering Man

escorial said:


> when you drank from glass bottles of pop



And then you proudly wore a badge made with the cork and bottle cap.


----------



## escorial

True story.. when a devout Liverpool football fan died he wanted his aches placed in his favourite bottle of coke so his son could take him the match...years later the club banned glass bottles and containers from the ground and he was told by one of the stewards  that he could not bring the bottle into the ground anymore..he kicked up a fuss and made the Liverpool Echo Newspaper headlines..."Fan can't bring a bottle of pop to the match."


----------



## escorial

start worrying about dying alone because nobody else will...


----------



## dither

I do worry about dying actually.

Death would be such a release for me but how?


----------



## escorial

when you glance at the funeral parlour window...


----------



## dither

Seriously, i think about it a lot.

Nothing's ever easy is it.


----------



## escorial

when holiday insurance cost the same as the holiday


----------



## escorial

when you start finger painting again


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> I do worry about dying actually.
> 
> Death would be such a release for me but how?


There was a doctor on the radio questioning why there was such a drive against heart disease when 98% of GP's questioned said that given they must die of something would prefer a heart attack.
When I told the missus she instantly asked "What did the other 2% want to  die of? Did it involve an orange, a ligature and a plastic bag?"


----------



## dither

Mr.Buckle,

i don't think there's any such thing as a nice death and i worry about that.
Heart attacks aren't fun.


----------



## escorial

you get socks and hankey's for gifts


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> you get socks and hankey's for gifts


Hankys are a bit passe in this tissue culture, but yes, I have a lot of socks.


----------



## escorial

passe..i have a clean hankey every day sir...!




i request you presence at 12 tomorrow on Wimbledon Common..!


----------



## LeeC

Sensitive matter! Youngsters should skip this. Not what you want to think about.

Complications of compromises in life.

When you get to the point in life where your legs don't work well, normal height toilets are painful to sit down on. Yes, there are higher toilets, but me being six foot plus, and the wife being five foot minus, a compromise is difficult to reach ;-)

How's that for a different slant on life


----------



## Terry D

LeeC said:


> Sensitive matter! Youngsters should skip this. Not what you want to think about.
> 
> Complications of compromises in life.
> 
> When you get to the point in life where your legs don't work well, normal height toilets are painful to sit down on. Yes, there are higher toilets, but me being six foot plus, and the wife being five foot minus, a compromise is difficult to reach ;-)
> 
> How's that for a different slant on life



A little Velcro and you are good to go (literally), ...


----------



## ned

you know when you're getting old when you go to another room - and forget why, until you return to the original room.
and the cycle starts all over again...


----------



## Terry D

...when you always trust the urge to pee, and never trust a fart.


----------



## Olly Buckle

...you keep having wonderful ideas for this thread, and then look and find you have already posted them.


----------



## midnightpoet

I noticed that recently Mick Jagger had his eighth child at 72, and realized he and I are the same age. I'm not sure if that makes me feel old or young.:grin:


----------



## ned

can you still shake a tambourine?


----------



## midnightpoet

ned said:


> can you still shake a tambourine?



Yeah, but I can't play a guitar at all.  Can't even carry a tune (although he apparently doesn't need to).:grin:


----------



## Olly Buckle

...you keep having wonderful ideas for this thread, and then look and find you have already posted them. 

No, wait a minute...


----------



## escorial

you haven't seen The Rolling Stones live....


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> you haven't seen The Rolling Stones live....



Not quite true, we watched them over the fence at the Richmond jazz festival, they were playing John Mayall numbers as I remember.


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> Not quite true, we watched them over the fence at the Richmond jazz festival, they were playing John Mayall numbers as I remember.



cool man


----------



## Olly Buckle

You know you are getting old when dawn is something you wake up for rather than stay up  for


----------



## Sonata

You know you are getting old when you have finally managed to get on your bed and as comfortable as possible, then realise that you did not take the meds you are supposed to take an hour before going to bed.  

By which time you are wide awake.  

[Which is why I am back on the computer at 12.40am]


----------



## midnightpoet

You know you're getting old when your sleep patterns are all over the place - wake up at 4am, nap at 11am, another nap at 5pm, go to bed at 9pm, ect.  Then the dog wants out at 2am, can't go back to sleep, ect...


----------



## Bard_Daniel

midnightpoet said:


> You know you're getting old when your sleep patterns are all over the place - wake up at 4am, nap at 11am, another nap at 5pm, go to bed at 9pm, ect.  Then the dog wants out at 2am, can't go back to sleep, ect...



Uh oh. I already do that. O_O

You know you're getting old when you remember, fondly, how cassette players in vehicles were the hip thing. 

Yes I did just use the word "hip".


----------



## midnightpoet

You hip to that, daddy-o?  You dig? Solid, man.:grin:


----------



## escorial

yeah groovy man..don't be a square man...get with the beat daddy-o


----------



## LeeC

midnightpoet said:


> You hip to that, daddy-o?  You dig? Solid, man.:grin:


You kids, geez!


----------



## dither

midnightpoet said:


> You know you're getting old when your sleep patterns are all over the place - wake up at 4am, nap at 11am, another nap at 5pm, go to bed at 9pm, ect.  Then the dog wants out at 2am, can't go back to sleep, ect...




:scratch:

Sounds good t'me.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Hippies?? You are not proper old if you were a hippie, not a beatnik. Some of us even have fond memories of Lonnie Donegan.


----------



## midnightpoet

Yeah, this is 50's jive talk, Beatnicks took that from black jazz musicians, I think some of it goes back to the 1930's.


----------



## Sonata

You know you are getting old when you recall that the very few television sets had 9" screens and had to have a magnifying cover over them so that they could actually be seen.


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> Hippies?? You are not proper old if you were a hippie, not a beatnik. Some of us even have fond memories of Lonnie Donegan.




Lonnie Donegan..weird thing and i can't recall why i watched an old interview with him and his son on the Gloria Hunniford show..not a modest man....


----------



## midnightpoet

...you repair cracks in your house shoes with duct tape
...you think that none of these late night tv hosts is as funny as Johnny Carson
...you remember the lyrics of 1950's rock and roll but never heard of the latest pop star
...your household emergency in running out of toilet paper
...you open the refrigerator looking for the salt shaker


----------



## escorial

every keep fit exercise makes you fart


----------



## Sonata

You need a nanny nap two hours after you get up.  And another one in the afternoon.  And then desperately wait for a proper bed time.


----------



## escorial

when you start to dribble


----------



## LeeC

escorial said:


> when you start to dribble


ay both ends ;-)


----------



## midnightpoet

When you open a can of dog food and realize too late you've opened a can of enchilada sauce. Yeah, I just did that a few minutes ago.:grin:


----------



## escorial

when your furniture looks like and old porn movie set


----------



## Olly Buckle

You know the TV schedule for Saturday nights after eight o'clock.


----------



## escorial

when you walk faster past the undertakers


----------



## Olly Buckle

You speak your mind and get away with it.


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> You speak your mind and get away with it.



look forward to that one.....


----------



## Bard_Daniel

You know you're getting old when, by 10 PM, you're ready for bed.


----------



## Sonata

You know you are old [not getting old, you are already old] when you need the bathroom in the night but have to be so quiet that you do not wake the puppy.


----------



## lvcabbie

danielstj said:


> You know you're getting old when, by 10 PM, you're ready for bed.



I have a heck of a time getting past 9pm.  :scratch:


----------



## midnightpoet

I've been known to take three naps during the day and still sleep 8 hours.:sleeping:


----------



## Sonata

midnightpoet said:


> I've been known to take three naps during the day and still sleep 8 hours.:sleeping:



Only three?  But then again eight hours sleep would be a wonder.  Three if I am lucky and four would be a miracle.  Eight?  If wishes came true...  or so it was said...


----------



## dither

Sonata said:


> Only three?  But then again eight hours sleep would be a wonder.  Three if I am lucky and four would be a miracle.  Eight?  If ishes came true...  or so it was said...



What i wouldn't give for a good 8/10 hour sleep.


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You know you're getting old when the only "knee trembler" you get is standing too close to the washing machine.


----------



## aj47

When you see DOS and think Disk Operating System and not Denial of Service even when you *know*​ better.


----------



## Trilby

When you go around telling complete strangers 'your age'! You can't help it - even when you consciously think, today, I'll be strong - will-power! will-power! - and I won't tell anyone how old I am - then, for some unknown reason, you lose all control of your tongue and - too late! you've done it again! :crushed:


----------



## aj47

When you say to adults, "When I was your age ..."


----------



## Wandering Man

When Life Expectancy become Death Expectancy, and your younger relatives start waiting for you to die.


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a fat person without telling them how fat they are.


----------



## LeeC

Shirl the Whirl said:


> You know you're getting old when you can't walk past a fat person without telling them how fat they are.


In a general sense that is disrespectful, but in a more realistic sense:
You know you're getting old when you can't help but think how much youth have to learn.


----------



## Sack-a-doo

The Green Shield said:


> You find yourself petrified of teenagers and think they're all up to no good, forgetting of course that *you yourself* were once a teenager.



... and up to no good. 



bazz cargo said:


> I am refusing to grow up. I may have to grow old, but not up...



Darn tooting! On the inside, I'm still 18... which is a recent thing, actually. Last year, I was still 14.



Sonata said:


> When Wagon Wheels are so much smaller.



The candy or actual wheels on actual wagons? 



escorial said:


> i was told after reaching 21 time would fly and i have to say it was a remarkably accurate prediction....



Yeah, it was like 21 was the goal and when I got there, I wanted to stop... but time kept going. Damn you, time!



Sleepwriter said:


> The music you listened to as a teen is now classic rock, but then again what else could it be.


Amen to that.



Sleepwriter said:


> the existence of the internet, tablets and most portable electronics



Or looking back and realizing that if we'd had such advanced technology as even a Commodore 64 in the early 1970s, I'd still be at my friend's cottage on St. Margaret's Bay staring at the screen, stoned off my butt, and quietly saying, "Wow, man," over and over.



Olly Buckle said:


> I am not sure what happens if you are ignorant and stupid



You turn into Chancey Gardner?



astroannie said:


> When your kid tells you about this great new song they heard and it's a cover of something older than they are. ("I Can't Help Falling In Love With You")



The first time this happened to me was in the early 1980s. Not my kid (I don't have any) but still.



escorial said:


> after hearing street preachers screaming the end is nigh for the umpteen time



Or witnessing yet-another inter-nation tension story the media keeps banging on for days until everyone's all worked up... and then it comes to nothing.

Or watching another war unfold in the media knowing it'll be as pointless as all the others.



Cran said:


> or when you are about to go out and you've forgotten to switch your prescription reading glasses for your prescription driving glasses (happened yesterday).



Or having pairs of off-the-shelf reading glasses for every activity from reading in the bathroom to seeing those almost-invisible markings on the inside of the coffee percolator... and you have to scour the entire house to find the right ones for the job.



Cran said:


> _You know you're getting old when you_ accuse the kids of playing games on their iPads (or whatever it is this week) but it turns out to be their homework.



Not like the old days when we hid comics inside our text books. 



lvcabbie said:


> When you watch a show like Emergency! or The Rockford Files and you remember when they were first shown.



And wonder why they aren't as spellbinding as they were back then. (sigh)


----------



## Sonata

Sack-a-doo said:


> Or having pairs of off-the-shelf reading glasses for every activity from reading in the bathroom to seeing those almost-invisible markings on the inside of the coffee percolator... and you have to scour the entire house to find the right ones for the job.



That is why I have magnifying glasses [dem fings wiv 'andles] everywhere, with smaller, foldable ones in every bag.  And when I say everywhere it is like telephone extensions, I have three [or four] in each room, including in the little hallway.  Oh, and those plug-in rechargeable lanterns which come on if the power goes off.  Plus those that you have to manually switch on but are still rechargeable.  

Oh, and torches.  Both battery and rechargeable ones.

Anyone think I have a bit of OCD?


----------



## Phil Istine

When I visited a motor museum and saw a Puch Maxi Moped - and realised that my friend had a brand new one of them when we were both sixteen.


----------



## The Green Shield

Sack-a-doo said:


> ... and up to no good.


HOW DARE YOU!! >:[ I'll have you know that I was the _sweetest child/teen that ever lived. I never did anything wrong. I was so perfect in every way! Everyone adored ME! 


_...OK maybe I did get into things that I knew I shouldn't have done. One of my childhood memories involved eating a poisonous plant by sucking the liquid out from an opening. It tasted so good so I got at least three before class started. Thankfully all that happened was that I kept sneezing for a few days after.


----------



## Olly Buckle

You stop flaunting your youth and immortality, and start thinking "You wait, you'll learn".


----------



## escorial

when you become a twirly.....


----------



## Sonata

escorial said:


> when you become a twirly.....



Oh yes - that is what the bus drivers called them.  The old dears [far younger than I am now] who used to wait at bus stops until it was time for their free bus passes to be OK, all chanting "Am I too early?"


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you remember bus conductors with a clip of different coloured tickets for different values.


----------



## Sonata

Olly Buckle said:


> When you remember bus conductors with a clip of different coloured tickets for different values.



That was before the windy thing that printed them out, was it not?  Yes, must have been because we used to collect used coloured tickets in primary school, although I cannot remember why.


Primary school?  Where we used to crawl around the playground looking for tiny pieces of pig iron - whatever that was.  And tiny pieces of rounded edged coloured glass that we called crystals.


----------



## dither

Sonata said:


> Primary school?  Where we used to crawl around the playground looking for tiny pieces of pig iron - whatever that was.



Lol! With your little magnet? Happy days Sonata. Happy days.


----------



## Sonata

Primary school, where we had to do PE in the playground wearing just vests and knickers [underpants for the boys] unless it was bucketing down with rain.


----------



## dither

How strange life is.
I'm in my 60s and my old french-teacher lives in my town.
It's a small town, there's the High Street, with a row of shops stretching some 60/70 metres maybe,that's it and so i see him sometimes. He HAS to be in his 80s.

Life eh?


----------



## Kevin

Seventh Grade P.E. coach: 
"Scrotes (colloquial term of endearment- short for 'scrotum') gather 'round. I have an important announcement. Next year... they're going...to....'integrate' all physical education classes." 

(dead silence on our part) 

"...that means that you'll have...'girls' in your P.E. classes."

Yeaaaah.

The look of dread on his face you'd have thought they were going to circumcise us twice. Poor Coach...


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You know you're getting old when shop staff come to help you, because they assume that you won't be able to use the self-service machine. And you play along, because you HATE self-service machines!


----------



## Olly Buckle

Shirl the Whirl said:


> You know you're getting old when shop staff come to help you, because they assume that you won't be able to use the self-service machine. And you play along, because you HATE self-service machines!



Oh yes; I hate having a robot tell me what to do, "Put your bags in the bagging area", no thanks, I'll go and be served by the human thank you, keep someone in a job, exchange pleasantries.


----------



## LeeC




----------



## msjhord

When you're forty years old but your skin thinks you're 13 again.  Good times!


----------



## Sonata

msjhord said:


> When you're forty years old but your skin thinks you're 13 again.  Good times!



When you would love to be forty-years-old again with the skin you had then.  

SIGH


----------



## midnightpoet

LeeC said:


> View attachment 15482



Worse, getting a notice from your class coordinator (Class of '62) that another classmate has died and they give you a long list to "in rememberance" and it keeps getting longer. Dang, I'm the same age as these people (Oh I remember her, she was a head cheerleader, very popular - dated the Quarterback...). Then they say there will be no more reunions because the class is so small, we may combine with other classes (not necessarily a bad thing, I;m not much on them).


----------



## escorial

LeeC said:


> View attachment 15482



any old school photo's LC....?


----------



## JustRob

Not only do you remember watching "Call My Bluff" on TV but also you used to know the meanings of the obscure and obsolete words they chose because they were once part of your vocabulary.

I remember once being surprised when they put up "thyratron" as an obscure word because I not only knew exactly what it meant but also had two thyratrons in my spares box. Who doesn't?

These thyratrons were parts from our first family televisor. That's probably an unfamiliar word as well. Originally "television" was, and indeed still is, the process that created the pictures and the machine used to receive them was called a "televisor", which was all very logical. Later it started to be called a "television set", which eventually got shortened to just "television", which isn't so logical. If anything the term "the box" was once more logical. although nowadays it would have to be "the slab" I suppose. No doubt one day the term that my angel and I sometimes use will be the most accurate as screens keep getting larger and thinner. We talk about the "electric wallpaper", referring to the way that people have the TV on even when they aren't watching it. 

On reflection, how can we be getting old when our terminology may actually be ahead of the game?

By the way, the Spanish for a television is apparently "el televisor". Told you so.


----------



## LeeC

midnightpoet said:


> Worse, getting a notice from your class coordinator (Class of '62) that another classmate has died and they give you a long list to "in rememberance" and it keeps getting longer. Dang, I'm the same age as these people (Oh I remember her, she was a head cheerleader, very popular - dated the Quarterback...). Then they say there will be no more reunions because the class is so small, we may combine with other classes (not necessarily a bad thing, I;m not much on them).





escorial said:


> any old school photo's LC....?


Actually, I've never been to a class reunion. The one room schoolhouse I spent the most time in never had more than a dozen students at any one time, and that only when the weather wasn't too bad to get there on horseback. Only a couple people at or near my grade level I remember and they're long gone. The later townie HS I attended, I walked away from and completed HS and a little beyond in the military. Post HS education was  intermittent/part time at a half dozen universities over a dozen years, having to get by on my own. So no, I don't have any class photos.

Back on thread, you know you're getting old when you realize how little we actually know, and are happy to have shed the horse blinkers


----------



## Kevin

I don't know if I'm old yet or not. Everything still works, and I mean everything. No little blue pills for me I tell you; no, not yet, not ever. No sir-ee. I am strong, like bull...charging, ladies, charging like a bull...


----------



## amelhope

i'm 21 years old :3  i guess it is toooooo early to answer  this :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:


----------



## Sonata

I guess you could be right!


----------



## msjhord

Sonata said:


> When you would love to be forty-years-old again with the skin you had then.
> 
> SIGH



Sorry to be bemoaning my 'youth,' Sonata.  I like being 40 just fine.  It's the skin issues that are rankling me a bit now.


----------



## Sonata

I actually did not like being 40 - life started getting better when I was 50 - and now I reckon I am more content than I have ever been.

I just have to keep away from mirrors! :lol:


----------



## Trilby

missed out the quote.


----------



## Trilby

amelhope said:


> i'm 21 years old :3  i guess it is toooooo early to answer  this :icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:



Ahh! I've been 21 a few times.

You may think you're getting old when policemen start looking young - you will really think you're getting old when doctors start to look young - but you will know you're getting old when almost everyone looks young.


----------



## Sonata

When you wake up and wish you had not.


----------



## aj47

Sonata said:


> When you wake up and wish you had not.



That's insomnia.

you know you're getting old when the people about your age are getting old.  Just had a FB friend turn <mumble> and I was startled to think they were that old and the implication of that for me.


----------



## dither

Sonata said:


> When you wake up and wish you had not.



I've got that but probably not as _you _​mean it.


----------



## JustRob

You think you've posted the same thing twice but actually it's four times. 

Er ... I haven't, have I?


----------



## Sonata

astroannie said:


> That's insomnia.



No, it's needa pee time and you [me] must be quiet as it it far too early for the puppy to wake up.



dither said:


> I've got that but probably not as _you _​mean it.



dither - you do _not_ mean that.  Unless you also wake up needing a pee!


----------



## Sonata

JustRob said:


> You think you've posted the same thing twice but actually it's four times.
> 
> Er ... I haven't, have I?



Nope - I think it is Baz wot keeps doin' dat.


----------



## escorial

when to rap was for a present and when sick meant you were not well


----------



## dither

I'm afraid i _do _​Sonata but never mind, life eh?


----------



## escorial

remember being told to wash your neck or end up with a tidemark


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> remember being told to wash your neck or end up with a tidemark



Ahh, the days before Lifebouy and the 'body odour' adverts, when we had a bath on Saturday night (probablly), well my parents were teachers, and we had a shed for the coal  
You were allowed to smoke upstairs on the bus, and most people did, in rush hour on a wet night with the windows closed the atmosphere got quite thick. Remember being able to open the windows on public transport? We are not trusted with things like that anymore


----------



## escorial

smoking on an airplane...mad but true


----------



## LeeC

Olly Buckle said:


> Ahh, the days before Lifebouy and the 'body odour' adverts, when we had a bath on Saturday night (probablly), well my parents were teachers, and we had a shed for the coal
> You were allowed to smoke upstairs on the bus, and most people did, in rush hour on a wet night with the windows closed the atmosphere got quite thick. Remember being able to open the windows on public transport? We are not trusted with things like that anymore


Ah yes, taking a bath. That was when you jumped in the swimming hole after a hot and dusty day's haying, or when you forded a river herding cattle and found a deep spot, or later when you spiffied up to go a'courtin'.

I remember one time when I was young, a friend and I brought a skunk home to his place for a pet. His parents called my mother, and she was waiting for me in the front yard when I got home. She made me take all my clothes off in the front yard, scrubbed me till I was raw, and burned my clothes. I guess I still remember because it was embarrassing.


----------



## LeeC

Back when I was young ...


----------



## Sonata

Ah yes, you know you are getting old when you cannot reach your toes to cut the nails.  And do your back in when you try.

Not that your back is any good to start with but who the 'eck is going to cut your toenails for you?


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You know you are getting old when you remember chocolate Wagon Wheels as big as dinner plates.


----------



## escorial

when a snicker was a marathon


----------



## Olly Buckle

You read;
". I thought it was due that day, but the last day was the following day ... I really need to start using my calendar app on my phone. Let me put that in my phone right now. "
and think 'what happened to those paper things with nice pictures that hang on the kitchen wall?'.


----------



## DuKane

You know you are getting old when 
it takes you all night to do once,
what you once used to do all night.


----------



## DuKane

Or a Nissan was a Datsun.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Off topic, 'Datsun' translates as something like 'jack-rabbit', or 'running rabbit'.  Sorry, as you were.


----------



## Ultraroel

I don't see the point in things like "Dabbing" and all these other things. 
I remember when people would be original to be funny and would be verbally crucified for rechewing the same shit someone else said.

I'm getting oolld..


----------



## escorial

when hairs grow out of every hole....


----------



## Sleepwriter

You start a sentence with 'When i was your age...'


----------



## Olly Buckle

... you remember when they replaced the horses with electric milk carts, and milk came in glass bottles that the milkman collected when empty, the ultimate in re-cycling, remind me, why did we give that up ?


----------



## escorial

when sunday T was jelly's cakes and sweet things....


----------



## Kevin

The night sky occasionally flashed with a far away boom, and we knew it was someone's cool m-100, 200... Not a federal offense. 
They used to run the air raid sirens on the third Saturday... Just testing.


----------



## LeeC

Dagnabbit, in my day ...


----------



## escorial

Dagnabbit...what is that..?


----------



## LeeC

escorial said:


> Dagnabbit...what is that..?


dagnabbit definition
(exclaimation) Oldcootism used during great consternation or surprise. Used by 1890’s prospectors, cantankerous old farmers, and young people playing old people on TV in the ‘60’s and ‘70’s.
_Them dern aliens ruined my golldarn rubbarb patch with their flyin' machine, dagnabbit!_


----------



## Kevin

It's like a 'tarnation'. Not exactly the same


----------



## DuKane

Olly Buckle said:


> Off topic, 'Datsun' translates as something like 'jack-rabbit', or 'running rabbit'.  Sorry, as you were.



Well blow me down, i never knew that!


----------



## escorial

oldcootism works for me to..ha,ha


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You know you're getting old when you have to keep trimming your moustache - and you're not a bloke!


----------



## escorial

you buy a pair of scetches


----------



## midnightpoet

Prices, damn it.  When you remember getting into the Saturday matinee at the picture show for a dime; when gas was a dime a gallon for that matter; that you bought your first house (1970) was 3-bed/2bath/2car garage custom built brick in a nice suburban neighborhood for $21,500.  And you wonder what the hell happened.  The worst part I've got a business degree and know economics - inflation, market forces and so on and it's still mind=boggling.  I have to quit before this turns into a rant.


----------



## escorial

midnightpoet said:


> Prices, damn it.  When you remember getting into the Saturday matinee at the picture show for a dime; when gas was a dime a gallon for that matter; that you bought your first house (1970) was 3-bed/2bath/2car garage custom built brick in a nice suburban neighborhood for $21,500.  And you wonder what the hell happened.  The worst part I've got a business degree and know economics - inflation, market forces and so on and it's still mind=boggling.  I have to quit before this turns into a rant.




i put my details in a mortgage calculator and it said i could afford a morgatge on a 2 bedroom ,semi detached house in my area but the downside was it was in 1972


----------



## midnightpoet

Uh, yeah.  My wife watches these home makeover shows and they talk about houses $800,000 and over like it was nothing.  Especially in California.  Some former chicken shacks go for at least six figures (I don't think that's much of an exaggeration).


----------



## Bard_Daniel

When you don't understand new technology and have trouble using the little tech you have.


----------



## Trilby

Shirl the Whirl said:


> You know you're getting old when you have to keep trimming your moustache - and you're not a bloke!


I have recently be told that most moisturisers on the market contain petroleum jelly (as a cheap filler)and that is the culprit that makes the individual hairs thick and strong -to all women no matter your age I would say, start using coconut oil as a moisturiser, it won't take the hair away but it does make them thinner and softer - more manageable.


----------



## escorial

when you end up with a coconut smelling muzzy....


----------



## Olly Buckle

> I have recently be told that most moisturisers on the market contain petroleum jelly (as a cheap filler)and that is the culprit that makes the individual hairs thick and strong


There could be a fortune to be made selling vaseline to bald men


----------



## Grub-r

Coconut oil along with any other oil are just as bad for your skin, especially face. Vaseline (petroleum jelly) is actually not as bad in a lot of cases. And Vaseline DOES NOT do anything to the thickness or strength of your hair. Nothing does. Hair is dead. 

Truth is, any cosmetic used too much will cause issues, and every person's skin is different. 

For most people avoid bar soap on your face. Stay away from alcohol based products (drys out your skin - this will also promote oily skin as your body overcompensates). Stay away from silicone products, they will usually clog your pores and require stronger cleaners to remove them completely, this is why your bathtub is slippery after using conditioner even if you use soap after. (anything that ends with -icone or -siloxane is silicone).

If you have issues after that, see a dermatologist.


----------



## escorial

when your skin sags


----------



## JustRob

You stop looking forward to your birthday because it is so far away, relatively speaking. Mine's next week, so I'm on the home run and feeling reasonably safe about it. Oh, but then there's Christmas, maybe.


----------



## escorial

when you count your chickens...


----------



## escorial

when you organise your own funeral


----------



## escorial

you start wearing elasticated waistbands and think these are really cumfy...one more doughnut wont hurt


----------



## bobo

When having to laugh about the young generation's outfit


----------



## LeeC

When today's youth laugh over old pictures of you.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Where did you get that picture of my children?


----------



## Olly Buckle

You know you are getting old when you prefer comfort to novelty.


----------



## H.Brown

When you turn 26  and realise there is only four more years till your 30.


----------



## LeeC




----------



## Olly Buckle

Bet they have the TV on full volume


----------



## midnightpoet

LeeC said:


> View attachment 16202




Where did you get a picture of my parents?:joker:


----------



## LeeC

midnightpoet said:


> Where did you get a picture of my parents?:joker:


It was your parents gave me the picture of you and the wife


----------



## Bard_Daniel

When you see all the undergrads in your town walking around. Damn, it's been many moons since I was that young...


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> Bet they have the TV on full volume




the pensioners flat syndrome....


----------



## bobo




----------



## JustRob

H.Brown said:


> When you turn 26  and realise there is only four more years till your 30.



When you turn 26 because the digits are in the wrong order.


----------



## Olly Buckle

JustRob said:


> When you turn 26 because the digits are in the wrong order.


When you think 'One short allround, make that thirty seven.'


----------



## escorial

out and about and wondering where is the nearest bog


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> out and about and wondering where is the nearest bog


Obviously a beginner at getting old 'Always use the loo before you leave.' Actually that gets said to me quite a bit by my older friends, but I rarely find it a problem myself, it takes four cups of tea followed by one of coffee


----------



## midnightpoet

This was on another post: how old do you feel?

Do I have aches and pains I didn't used to have? Yes
Are there things I can't do like I used to? Yes
Are there foods you can no longer tolerate? Yes
Do I get tired easily and like to take naps? Yes
Is my memory failing me a lot? Yes
Do I open the refrigerator door looking for the salt? Yes

Am I feeling old?  Not necessarily.  Feeling old is an attitude, and I'm too ornery and stubborn to admit anything else.  I have a feeling the people here over 70 like me would probably agree with that.\\/


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> Obviously a beginner at getting old 'Always use the loo before you leave.' Actually that gets said to me quite a bit by my older friends, but I rarely find it a problem myself, it takes four cups of tea followed by one of coffee




finding a place to do your bizz while out and about is becoming difficult..toilets for patrons and all that crap..big cheer for all the big fast food chains...


----------



## Olly Buckle

midnightpoet said:


> Am I feeling old?  Not necessarily.  Feeling old is an attitude, and I'm too ornery and stubborn to admit anything else.  I have a feeling the people here over 70 like me would probably agree with that.\\/



Agreed


----------



## Plasticweld

I am not 70... I will gleefully come right and say that, some of you guys are OLD.  But, the other day I had a bald headed guy with three kids in tow, come up and ask " Hey Mr. Brown how are you doing?"  Now I am not old enough for any bald headed guy with three kids to call Mr.    Turns out I used to be his soccer coach when he was a kid.  So I may not be old but I am definitely getting older :}


----------



## bobo




----------



## Olly Buckle

Plasticweld said:


> I am not 70... I will gleefully come right and say that, some of you guys are OLD.  But, the other day I had a bald headed guy with three kids in tow, come up and ask " Hey Mr. Brown how are you doing?"  Now I am not old enough for any bald headed guy with three kids to call Mr.    Turns out I used to be his soccer coach when he was a kid.  So I may not be old but I am definitely getting older :}



Good to know someone is promoting the beautiful game on your continent, but you really should take up watching cricket, Indian Premier league is a good fun starter. It would do so much for your society if a decent section of it achieved some understanding


----------



## bobo




----------



## JustRob

Is the tide turning in this thread? Has discussion moved towards things that make you feel younger? Oh good. Here are a few then.

We had an email today from our company pensioners group. Apparently one 95 year old member didn't turn up to the Christmas lunch event but it turned out that he was just in hospital with a touch of pneumonia and his daughter wanted him to stay there for a bit longer. So, still in my young seventies I don't feel so bad.

A man aged 101 was told that he couldn't go to work any more because he was a health and safety risk, but his employers relented and gave him a new office closer to his home. Before that his commute to work had involved a ninety minute train journey and two buses. I never had to commute that far in my entire working life at any age.

A paedophile aged 101 has just been sentenced to 13 years in prison. That solves his commuting problems as well, but a bit too late for some.

You know you're getting old when you can't find any stories about much older people like these around.

P.S.

To anyone having problems with that, here's wishing that you are still around to have a very happy Christmas. Let's not tempt fate and include the new year greetings just yet though. One step at a time.


----------



## lvcabbie

You find it's difficult just putting on your clothes and taking them off.


----------



## JustRob

lvcabbie said:


> You find it's difficult just putting on your clothes and taking them off.



Or simply forget to.


----------



## Monaque

escorial said:


> View attachment 13020
> 
> my first bike..now considered a classic



Wow, I remember actually riding one of those!


----------



## Monaque

Kevin said:


> When you're as old as this guy:



Or when you become the subject of caricaturists.....


----------



## Monaque

When people talk of Call Of Duty and you only think of the war.


----------



## Monaque

When you need the handrail to pull yourself up the stairs.


----------



## escorial

when you look at a stair lift catalogue


----------



## midnightpoet

Sometimes I don't know if it's because I'm old, or it's a generational thing (which is related), or is it just me? :scratch:But some things I really have a hard time getting.  Today's jokes, for example.  All too often I think "what the heck's funny about that?  Even on the site, I read the jokes or see the funny pictures and have the same reaction. I've also noticed reading the stories here on the PM and COF contests and see the judges comments and think - did I just miss the point on that story?  Why did I not see what other saw? Anyone else have similar reactions, or is it time I was put out to pasture?:stupid:


----------



## Olly Buckle

midnightpoet said:


> Anyone else have similar reactions, or is it time I was put out to pasture?:stupid:



No, it happens to  most thinking people, though not always over the same things.


----------



## bobo




----------



## Kevin

midnightpoet said:


> Sometimes I don't know if it's because I'm old, or it's a generational thing (which is related), or is it just me? :scratch:But some things I really have a hard time getting.  Today's jokes, for example.  All too often I think "what the heck's funny about that?  Even on the site, I read the jokes or see the funny pictures and have the same reaction. I've also noticed reading the stories here on the PM and COF contests and see the judges comments and think - did I just miss the point on that story?  Why did I not see what other saw? Anyone else have similar reactions, or is it time I was put out to pasture?:stupid:


Ermmm...how far are you from Nebraska? (see...that was a joke)
(_please, ms midnight, don't put mr. out in the pasture._)


----------



## Plasticweld




----------



## Sleepwriter

When your boss is younger than you.


----------



## Bard_Daniel

When I was out downtown hanging out with a friend for New Years Eve and called it off twenty minutes after midnight when everyone else in the city was still rocking out.


----------



## bobo

danielstj said:


> When I was out downtown hanging out with a friend for New Years Eve and called it off twenty minutes after midnight when everyone else in the city was still rocking out.



That's just called PRUDENCE, daniel :teapot:


----------



## bobo




----------



## bobo




----------



## dither

Lol! That could be me holding the stamp. No, i don't collect stamps but i _am _​a bit of an Anorak with my own subject of interest.


----------



## Plasticweld

Reading the Wall Street Journal weekend edition at breakfast this morning they had a feature on collectable vintage cars; of those featured I had owned two of them in the past, a  72 Cadillac Deville, and a late 70s 450 SEL Mercedes.   I am now part of the ranks of old guys who used to own what is now considered an antique.


----------



## dither

Plasticweld said:


> Reading the Wall Street Journal weekend edition at breakfast this morning they had a feature on collectable vintage cars; of those featured I had owned two of them in the past, a  72 Cadillac Deville, and a late 70s 450 SEL Mercedes.   I am now part of the ranks of old guys who used to own what is now considered an antique.



Shame you didn't hang on to them.


----------



## bobo




----------



## bobo




----------



## dither

When you pay for something a shop and the girl behind the counter says " thank you darlin. "


----------



## sas

Plasticweld..regarding your cars...




dither said:


> Shame you didn't hang on to them.



I owned a new, 1967 red mustang convertible, white rag. You have to have owned "the right car "to be envied for being an advanced age.

(Had a new 1963 TR-4 convertible. Had custom cushions, so I could reach pedals which had wood extension blocks glued on. ...I'm 5 ft....the blocks would fall off...which is when I started using the word f**k! I still blame that car.)

A police officer knew me by name. I was cute, so a few tickets weren't given. I never get out of a ticket now. That's so unfair. Or, maybe they loved my beautiful cars then. Hmmmm never thought of that.
.

.


----------



## dither

sas said:


> Plasticweld..regarding your cars...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I owned a new, 1967 red mustang convertible, white rag. You have to have owned "the right car "to be envied for being an advanced age.
> 
> (Had a new 1963 TR-4 convertible. Had custom cushions, so I could reach pedals which had wood extension blocks glued on. ...I'm 5 ft....the blocks would fall off...which is when I started using the word f**k! I still blame that car.)
> 
> A police officer knew me by name. I was cute, so a few tickets weren't given. I never get out of a ticket now. That's so unfair. Or, maybe they loved my beautiful cars then. Hmmmm never thought of that.
> .
> 
> .



Happy days eh sas?


----------



## sas

dither said:


> Happy days eh sas?




In the 60s, I drove my penis around town. Easy to do as a girl when you've the right wheels. Baaaby!

That TR-4 belonged to my boyfriend who left it with me when he had to go into the service. I felt obligated to marry the guy. I put in 35 years, then moved on. Figured that debt was paid. It was a hell of a ride.
.


----------



## midnightpoet

"She was hotter than a two-dollar pistol. she was the fastest thing around..."

George Jones

:icon_joker: So, you were the hot one in the hot car? (Sorry, I'm being sexist and politically incorrect).


----------



## dither

YEEE'HAHHH!


----------



## sas

midnightpoet said:


> "She was hotter than a two-dollar pistol. she was the fastest thing around..."
> 
> George Jones
> 
> :icon_joker: So, you were the hot one in the hot car? (Sorry, I'm being sexist and politically incorrect).




Yeppo! And, love that song, too !


----------



## sas

Dither...



sas said:


> Yeppo! And, love that song, too !



I cringe when I see old men driving those cars today. It's so wrong. Limp dicks shouldn't drive a hard-on. (Sorry, but not really)


----------



## midnightpoet

Ha, my Dad bought a brand new '57 Chevy - got a learner's permit at 17 and (this is embarrassing) I drove it to school with Mom in the passenger seat.  It was a Bel Air, pink w/bench seats.  Automatic, not as cool as 4-in-the-floor but still nice. The worst part is Dad didn't put in a radio - he was not only tight as Dick's hat band, he wore a hearing aid, what did he need a radio for? Anyway, I was glad when I got my regular permit.


----------



## dither

sas said:


> Dither...
> 
> 
> 
> I cringe when I see old, fat men driving those cars today. It's so wrong. Limp dicks shouldn't drive a hard-on. (Sorry, but not really)



Yeah but girls like cars and money, it's a trade off.


----------



## Sleepwriter

dither said:


> When you pay for something a shop and the girl behind the counter says " thank you darlin. "



That happens all the time here in the south, no matter the age.


----------



## midnightpoet

Sleepwriter said:


> That happens all the time here in the south, no matter the age.


 
Yeah, and like a lot of other Texans I got used to calling women/girls younger than me "hun" and the boys "son."  You go in a diner here, you'll probably be called "sweetie" by the waitress.


----------



## sas

midnightpoet said:


> Ha, my Dad bought a brand new '57 Chevy - got a learner's permit at 17 and (this is embarrassing) I drove it to school with Mom in the passenger seat.  It was a Bel Air, pink w/bench seats.  Automatic, not as cool as 4-in-the-floor but still nice. The worst part is Dad didn't put in a radio - he was not only tight as Dick's hat band, he wore a hearing aid, what did he need a radio for? Anyway, I was glad when I got my regular permit.




My steady drove that car. Hope you know what steady means. They eventually got rid of bench seats ,as birth control. Pity.

I had "four on the floor" with my TR-4. I thought that Chevy had shift on steering. Getting senile, I guess. 
.


----------



## Kevin

Once had a hooker call me hun. No one uses that here. ( and no, I did not 'anything' with her....) , but she would put on this 'voice' which I found... appalling. I said to her 'what is that...?' She wasn't even aware. 'You're pretty good looking for an old guy.' I laughed, and thanked her, dropping her off at some sugar-daddy crash-pad place. No, no hookers for me- just gave her a ride somewhere because she'd asked and was crying. Sucker...


----------



## dither

midnightpoet said:


> Yeah, and like a lot of other Texans I got used to calling women/girls younger than me "hun" and the boys "son."  You go in a diner here, you'll probably be called "sweetie" by the waitress.



UGH!:cower:


----------



## midnightpoet

And, speaking of getting old just got an e-mail from our high school class, planning a 60th reunion.  I don't think I have the energy to go to it, even if I wanted to.  (of course, she sent along another obituary.  I can't imagine there's many of us left).


----------



## sas

midnightpoet said:


> And, speaking of getting old just got an e-mail from our high school class, planning a 60th reunion.  I don't think I have the energy to go to it, even if I wanted to.  (of course, she sent along another obituary.  I can't imagine there's many of us left).



Had friend from grade school die this morning. Last week I received request to see if anyone wants to have 55th high school reunion this year. I was going to answer negatively, but....hmmm....maybe we should. Tick Tock.

sas


----------



## sas

dither said:


> Yeah but girls like cars and money, it's a trade off.




That was the old days, Dither. We have our own money & cars. Now the boys better come to play with something other than toys. Nice rhyme, huh?  Smiles. sas


----------



## midnightpoet

sas said:


> Had friend from grade school die this morning. Last week I received request to see if anyone wants to have 55th high school reunion this year. I was going to answer negatively, but....hmmm....maybe we should. Tick Tock.
> 
> sas



Actually, we're class of '62 and our 60'th is 2022 (I think).  I'll be 78 - dang I wanted to make a joke what will we do, talk about our ailments and play 42?  Ha.  Like you say, though, tick tock.  My wife's 71, she still talks to her best (lady) friend from high school; says she's the only one who understands (besides me).


----------



## Kevin

sas said:


> That was the old days, Dither. We have our own money & cars. Now the boys better come to play with something other than toys. Nice rhyme, huh?  Smiles. sas


hear that dith... they has their own money and their own cars. What is it  they want us for, hmm? Oh, the 'magi-nation swirls.


----------



## The Green Shield

You realize that in just 8 years, you can legally run for the Presidency of the United States.


----------



## sas

midnightpoet said:


> Actually, we're class of '62 and our 60'th is 2022 (I think).  I'll be 78 - dang I wanted to make a joke what will we do, talk about our ailments and play 42?  Ha.  Like you say, though, tick tock.  My wife's 71, she still talks to her best (lady) friend from high school; says she's the only one who understands (besides me).




Mr.Midnight...I am class of '62. Great vintage.


----------



## Kevin

sas said:


> Mr.Midnight...I am class of '62. Great vintage.


Mom? Mom is that you?


----------



## LeeC

Oops, I pooped.


----------



## LeeC

But you've gotten to the point of realizing that everyone is so busy trying to say something that no one listens ;-)


----------



## Bard_Daniel

When you have to consume copious amounts of caffeine to keep you going.


----------



## Kevin

Lee! Wth u bin? You  go on vacation and look what happens-- Cheeto-Jesus takes over the world. Now he's building a wall and will all be trapped. He probably got the idea from that stupid movie escape from New York. Someone call Snake Pliskin  to bust us out.


----------



## LeeC

Kevin said:


> Lee! Wth u bin? You  go on vacation and look what happens-- Cheeto-Jesus takes over the world. Now he's building a wall and will all be trapped. He probably got the idea from that stupid movie escape from New York. Someone call Snake Pliskin  to bust us out.



No vacation Kev. Besides all the books I'm being asked to read an review, I got serious about illustrating my book (a major undertaking). I put up a sample illustration in Visual Arts. 

Anyway, I'm not up on what's happening in the wider world. I don't watch TV, and use my gadgets only for writing and illustration work. Note my added comment to the old man image I put up earlier in this thread. Besides, if you're a student of history you'd expect the shift in societal perspective. We humans go through these cycles, never acknowledging that intelligence is an illusion ;-) I've heard rumors about the new administration trying to reduce my social security and medial coverage (that I more than adequately paid for over my working career), but I'll likely beat them out the door. I wonder if those that voted for the administration will realize they've been screwed over by the time they reach my point in life?

I've also been on less because my old iMac is dying. I'm going to spring for a new MacBook (can use it in bed), but to swing it I have to first sell the spare freezer and my old pickup. Life is a series of trade offs eh?

Take care


----------



## sas

Kevin said:


> Mom? Mom is that you?



No grammy.


----------



## JustRob

Your oldest living relative is your sister.

You can remember going to the Festival of Britain in 1951 but you can't remember where the toilets were because it didn't matter to you so much then.


----------



## sas

JustRob said:


> Your oldest living relative is your sister.
> 
> You can remember going to the Festival of Britain in 1951 but you can't remember where the toilets were because it didn't matter to you so much then.



My oldest living blood relative is my sister..77. I remember a neighbor's bomb shelter. Many thought him nuts. I hope I can remember where to find it. Eisenhower's warning to Americans about the Military Industrial Complex is coming true. America has anointed a King. He was sent away to Military school for behavior.  Had a bad footie so got out of Vietnam. Now he has real army to play with. I've no school desk to get under. Yikes.


----------



## Kevin

"Drop and cover" Ha! I remember that. "Drop!" We little boys loved it. It was an excuse for us to fling our desks and chairs. It was like a competition. Teacher, anything goes when you're diving for your life. What could they say, though? Tell us it was bull? And what could they say after all of it: Nixon, the pentagon papers...nothing, huh? Oh, the lies... Do you know that we were never in danger from the bomb? Never. It's all in the records, the conversations were recorded. The Ruskies were afraid _we _were going to use it. Imagine that, them afraid of us?


----------



## JustRob

sas said:


> My oldest living blood relative is my sister..77.



My younger elder sister is 82 and the elder one is 86.



> America has anointed a King. He was sent away to Military school for behavior.  Had a bad footie so got out of Vietnam. Now he has real army to play with. I've no school desk to get under. Yikes.



I take it that the inaugural wrecking ball is still going on then.


----------



## LeeC

JustRob said:


> Your oldest living relative is your sister.
> 
> You can remember going to the Festival of Britain in 1951 but you can't remember where the toilets were because it didn't matter to you so much then.



Other than grand and great grand nieces and nephews still out west, I have no blood relatives left. My father-in-law though, is still going strong. He's in his nineties and served in WWII.



Kevin said:


> "Drop and cover" Ha! I remember that. "Drop!" We little boys loved it. It was an excuse for us to fling our desks and chairs. It was like a competition. Teacher, anything goes when you're diving for your life. What could they say, though? Tell us it was bull? And what could they say after all of it: Nixon, the pentagon papers...nothing, huh? Oh, the lies... Do you know that we were never in danger from the bomb? Never. It's all in the records, the conversations were recorded. The Ruskies were afraid _we _were going to use it. Imagine that, them afraid of us?



Don't get me wrong, I understand the backlash against elitist corruption, but to jump off a cliff in response seems a bit extreme to me. From my naturalist's perspective it's lemming behavior, and exemplifies the illusion of superior human intelligence. Not faulting anyone, as I remember a lot of dumb choices I made when I was younger. We are basically only a morphological variation of life forms, with minds preoccupied with our stomach, or between our legs ;-) 

Your comment caught my attention Kev, because it's something I included in my book. Part of the real life human behavior I tried to exemplify, as the attached iPhone generations don't think about it. Only those that already understand seem to take notice though. One DIY book I've noticed on social media, is how to write a fluff book that will be a best seller.


----------



## sas

JustRob said:


> My younger elder sister is 82 and the elder one is 86.
> 
> 
> 
> I take it that the inaugural wrecking ball is still going on then.




Well, GOP/Trump bunch is now going after reducing Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid benefits. We Americans are *way* too entitled. They will take that wasteful money & build a *12-15 BILLION Dollar wall *to keep those raping/robbing Mexicans out. You know, the ones who do all the work Americans don't want to dirty their "tiny" hands with.  There might even be enough money left over to fix our collapsing bridges & roads...maybe. 

I've looked into Canadian Universities for my granddaughters. I hope that Canada might accept them eventually as citizens. But, I think Canadians are pitching in to build a wall to keep Americans out, though. I knew they were smart.


----------



## Kevin

I notice no one is fleeing south.


----------



## The Green Shield

Ladies and gents, while I don't know if politics are allowed in this forum, we _might_​ be veering off course.


----------



## JustRob

You know you're getting old when politics seems to matter.


----------



## The Green Shield

JustRob said:


> You know you're getting old when *politics seems to matter*.


DID I STUTTER, ROBBY?! >:[ 

But seriously, if anyone wants/needs to vent about politics, my inbox is open. 

You Know You're Getting Old when you can hear your bones crack from within when you move.


----------



## dither

JustRob said:


> You know you're getting old when politics seems to matter.



Yup, I reckon so.


----------



## bobo




----------



## midnightpoet

Realizing that it was more than inflation that turned the five an' dime into the dollar store. Somewhere along the line the store lost it's soul (for example, I can't imagine writing a song about dollar stores like "Love at the Five and Dime" by Cathy Mattea). I remember one in downtown Dallas had two levels - the main floor had a soda fountain, below was the "bargain basement (sigh).


----------



## sas

bobo said:


> View attachment 16887



In Illinois they give those 75 an on road drivers test.   So, you can add to 2016: Passing the driver's test.


----------



## dither

When you find that you have dried hard remnants of yesterday's lunch on the front of your pullover.

Look!

I was tired. Okay?


----------



## sas

dither said:


> When you find that you have dried hard remnants of yesterday's lunch on the front of your pullover.
> 
> Look!
> 
> I was tired. Okay?




One second before I read this post, I scraped cream cheese from breakfast off my pullover. There are still spots. I don't care.


----------



## escorial

when you get through your mid life and think that was a blast....


----------



## dither

sas said:


> One second before I read this post, I scraped cream cheese from breakfast off my pullover. There are still spots. I don't care.



Good for you sas.


----------



## dither

escorial said:


> when you get through your mid life and think that was a blast....



I'd like to say "if only" but i'd be lying if i did.
My mid-life was merely a passing of time.


----------



## bobo

Solution ??


----------



## dither

You would not believe how close that is to me.
I'm greying, i have a beard and i wear glasses. Don't have the gut though. And i don't dress so smartly.


----------



## Olly Buckle

You know you re getting old when you use scissors to open a buiscuit packet


----------



## LeeC

bobo said:


> View attachment 17017
> 
> Solution ??


Odd, today I was looking for an inexpensive and portable work surface for my MacBook.


----------



## bobo

LeeC said:


> Odd, today I was looking for an inexpensive and portable work surface for my MacBook.


I'm sure you'll look nice carrying your personal  multipurpose loo device (lid/seat/table) around 
I'll suggest a bit of padding in the neck, or may be just one of those modern scarves several times around the neck.
Good luck !!  :applause:


----------



## dither

Olly Buckle said:


> You know you re getting old when you use scissors to open a buiscuit packet



Yes, and i struggle with ring-pulls on food tins.


----------



## aj47

I don't think that's age-related.  I've always struggled.  I'm short and have short fingers to match the package.


----------



## Olly Buckle

...when you buy the 'Lothario multipack Valentine cards' thinking 'That'll see me out'.


----------



## bobo

Olly Buckle said:


> ...when you buy the 'Lothario multipack Valentine cards' thinking 'That'll see me out'.



Did you send some :love_heart: ??


----------



## Bard_Daniel

When you use the phrase: "I can remember when..."


----------



## PiP

You know you are getting old when you party and dance the night away then get up the next morning can't walk and you have pulled a muscle in your back. Champagne is *amazing* stuff to make you feel younger and live for the moment.

_shame it did not come with a pick-me-up for the morning after_


----------



## Plasticweld

danielstj said:


> When you use the phrase: "I can remember when..."




When you use the phrase "I don't remember"  and really don't.


----------



## sas

In the States, when you turn 70, your physician must ask you, at annual physical: What day is it? (fuck I forgot...don't care); do you have scatter rugs? (yes, and keepin' 'em until I give up downhill skiing...unless rugs on slopes) Skiing this weekend. Later, sas


----------



## Plasticweld

Here in NY they do a hearing test for your commercial drivers license.  For me the doctor whispered something to me to check my hearing.  Being partially deaf and a lip reader I just repeated what he said reading his lips.  I didn't hear a sound he made.... He checked the box... "Hearing good"   I am glad he did not think to cover his mouth  :}


----------



## escorial

PiP said:


> You know you are getting old when you party and dance the night away then get up the next morning can't walk and you have pulled a muscle in your back. Champagne is *amazing* stuff to make you feel younger and live for the moment.
> 
> _shame it did not come with a pick-me-up for the morning after_



Watch you don't spill the caviar and crush the quail eggs....


----------



## sas

Plasticweld:  I was at business meeting yesterday and saw an "old" friend. She started to talk, but turned her head toward another. She laughed when I told her to forget that young person and look at me when talking. (As a sad aside: She then told me story about her husband who had recently died. In hospital doctors would ask him questions while they had their masks on. He did not reply. The doctors turned to her and said he wasn't "responsive". She said he needed to READ THEIR LIPS. Ya just gotta love doctors...and, I birthed one.)


----------



## PiP

escorial said:


> Watch you don't spill the caviar and crush the quail eggs....



Absolutely! Caviar is not on the menu in the type of joints I party ...


----------



## escorial

PiP said:


> Absolutely! Caviar is not on the menu in the type of joints I party ...



PiP the gangsters mal......


----------



## PiP

escorial said:


> PiP the gangsters mal......



Many a truth is said in jest, esc ...:grin::grin:


----------



## Ariel

When your knee is a more accurate predictor for weather than the weathermen.  My knee is telling me that we should be hit with a giant thunderstorm any minute now.  The sky is nice and blue.


----------



## RHPeat

Humidity works both ways. But the knee is a barometer for atmospheric pressure. Cold air fronts move down while warm air moves up. They can happen very quickly. That warmness helps the joint feel less pain for it relieves inflammation in the joint. Our joints are surrounded by a capsule and within the joint capsule  there is fluid (joint fluid or synovial fluid).  The joint capsule has  an optimal pressure gradient to it.  Our environment in which we live  has atmospheric pressure.  Atmospheric pressure is defined as the  external force or weight of the atmosphere around our bodies at any  given point.  In meteorology, atmospheric pressure is referred to as  barometric pressure to describe warm fronts (high-pressure) or cold  fronts (low-pressure).


----------



## Plasticweld

sas said:


> Plasticweld:  I was at business meeting yesterday and saw an "old" friend. She started to talk, but turned her head toward another. She laughed when I told her to forget that young person and look at me when talking. (As a sad aside: She then told me story about her husband who had recently died. In hospital doctors would ask him questions while they had their masks on. He did not reply. The doctors turned to her and said he wasn't "responsive". She said he needed to READ THEIR LIPS. Ya just gotta love doctors...and, I birthed one.)



That has happened to me as well.  Even someone who covers their mouth with their hand or just looks down while talking makes things hard to hear and understand.   


This one time, I was really struggling to understand someone.  They became very annoyed with me and asked if I were just giving them a hard time.   She looked at me with distain.  Finally yelling at me so I could hear 

 With hate in her voice she screamed " Stop staring at me."  

I said "I was sorry I have always had a hard time understanding someone with a mustache... male or female."


----------



## LeeC

Lost the upper range of my hearing back in the 60s, so it's always been harder to understand what a woman is saying. Then of course, forty years or marriage dulled my hearing even more  



Plasticweld said:


> I said "I was sorry I have always had a hard time understanding someone with a mustache... male or female."


Is that why you were looking at me so intently when we talked. I was thinking maybe you saw a physical attraction


----------



## Plasticweld

Lee I tell women I look at their mouths when I want to see what their saying, in their eyes when I want to know what their thinking..... You will just have to keep guessing. :}


----------



## sas

Plasticweld said:


> Lee I tell women I look at their mouths when I want to see what their saying, in their eyes when I want to know what their thinking..... You will just have to keep guessing. :}[/QUOTE
> 
> Husbands would advise to avoid both; just look at their nose.


----------



## Kevin

Sometimes I feel that I'm supposed to act like Dobby from Harry Potter. About all I can manage is dress like him. Does not make missus happy. Bad Dobby *bonk*.


----------



## Pennywise Purple

You know you are getting old when..... You know of Abba and Roxette before Taylor Swift and company....


----------



## kaufenpreis

When your sat at home contemplating an early night and living as though  you already have a child, when in fact you don't and are just old and  past clubbing.


----------



## Bloggsworth

Gallimaufry.


----------



## bobo




----------



## Bloggsworth

When you are such a boring old fart that talking to yourself sends you to sleep...


----------



## escorial

Bloggsworth said:


> When you are such an old fart that talking to yourself sends you to sleep...



one can smile and yet one could get the depth of such a statement...either way one reads it there is a truth there for me


----------



## bobo




----------



## Olly Buckle

... when it is only a two minute job, but you still bother to walk up to the greenhouse for the kneeler.


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> ... when it is only a two minute job, but you still bother to walk up to the greenhouse for the kneeler.



is that a double entendre....


----------



## aj47

bobo said:


> View attachment 17212



Well, when they start with the current year, one expects EVERYBODY has to scroll down except Baby Einsteins.


----------



## bobo

I'm glad as long as my birth year is still there to find 
- the day it's left out - I'll know I'm old


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> is that a double entendre....



It depends who you are, to some almost everything is.


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> It depends who you are, to some almost everything is.



i'm a big Carry On fan....


----------



## LeeC

Saw an RD quote today I hadn't heard before. "When I was young my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."

--------

Oops, wrong thread. Chalk it up to declining mental facilities.


----------



## midnightpoet

lately my wife (who has diabetes) has been waking up with knee pain, only to discover her blood sugar is too low.  Not sure these are related, but still a good thing.


----------



## JustRob

Last week I went to the tailor's to be measured for a new bespoke three piece suit. Nowadays I very seldom wear a suit and am wondering whether my first opportunity to wear this one will be my own funeral. At least I've chosen an appropriate colour although at my angel's suggestion the lining that she and the tailor agreed on is hellish red. If only I didn't pay so much attention to portents.


----------



## escorial

JustRob said:


> Last week I went to the tailor's to be measured for a new bespoke three piece suit. Nowadays I very seldom wear a suit and am wondering whether my first opportunity to wear this one will be my own funeral. At least I've chosen an appropriate colour although at my angel's suggestion the lining that she and the tailor agreed on is hellish red. If only I didn't pay so much attention to portents.



ask the tailor for a piece of the red cloth so the undertaker can match to your coffin lining...it will look stunning


----------



## JustRob

escorial said:


> ask the tailor for a piece of the red cloth so the undertaker can match to your coffin lining...it will look stunning



Coffin lining? Do you think I can afford to pay for a coffin after paying for that suit? My angel is a gardener and plans to put my corpse on the compost heap. Apparently it was common practice in the days of large walled gardens to bury a dead donkey under newly planted trees to provide nutrients. Well, it would be the only time that I ever proved useful to her in the garden.


----------



## bobo

Portents ??


----------



## escorial

JustRob said:


> Coffin lining? Do you think I can afford to pay for a coffin after paying for that suit? My angel is a gardener and plans to put my corpse on the compost heap. Apparently it was common practice in the days of large walled gardens to bury a dead donkey under newly planted trees to provide nutrients. Well, it would be the only time that I ever proved useful to her in the garden.



yeah...ask her to leave your back side protruding from the soil so she can use it to stand her bike...


----------



## JustRob

bobo said:


> Portents ??
> 
> View attachment 17437



I'm not tempting fate this year, not six years after I wrote that second part to my novel, which itself implied that it referred to my own life six years ahead. I mean ... my main character _died _in it, if only temporarily. Who kills off their main character in the first book of a trilogy? 

You know you're getting old when even the portents look optimistic. _Carpe diem_.


----------



## JustRob

escorial said:


> yeah...ask her to leave your back side protruding from the soil so she can use it to stand her bike...



She doesn't ride a bike any more and says that she doesn't need a mount for the rotary clothes line either as I put a new one in the lawn for her recently. Gee, thanks angel for realising just how useful I can be, even at my age.


----------



## LeeC

JustRob said:


> Coffin lining? Do you think I can afford to pay for a coffin after paying for that suit? My angel is a gardener and plans to put my corpse on the compost heap. Apparently it was common practice in the days of large walled gardens to bury a dead donkey under newly planted trees to provide nutrients. Well, it would be the only time that I ever proved useful to her in the garden.


Let me guess, the suit is blue. Such with a red lining is a "power" suit among the elite ;-)

Your wife seems a very practical woman. When I had a flock of free ranging chickens, the ones that turned toes up I would bury in planting shagbark hickory trees in my natural garden. The difference in growth is noticeable. We are of the soil and our physical remains are meant to return to the soil. I wish it were allowed that I be planted in a plain pine casket in my natural garden, but the closest I can come is is to have my ashes spread there. Actually that's better, as in the case of forest fires releasing nutrients to the soil that would otherwise be locked up for decades. It also means the earlier I'll be able to haunt anyone that harms the trees I planted ;-)

Reminds me of what I changed the opening quote of my book to. “_I am just a leaf. Just a leaf falling from the tree so that a new bud may grow._” ~ Gemma Malley, The Legacy


----------



## bobo




----------



## LeeC

You know your days are numbered when you keep track of weekdays with a pill box instead of a calendar.


----------



## LeeC

bobo said:


> View attachment 17478


That's great news, they found Olly's birth certificate


----------



## bobo

LeeC said:


> That's great news, they found Olly's birth certificate


Yeah - and mine - and several others, Young Man  :cheers:


----------



## LeeC

bobo said:


> Yeah - and mine - and several others, Young Man  :cheers:


Thank you. That's almost as good as getting carded to see if I qualify for a senior discount. A sweet lady at DD always cards me to make my day, despite's the fact I look like I qualify for a crypt discount


----------



## bobo




----------



## midnightpoet

(staring at a pill bottle) "...did I just take that pill?"


----------



## escorial

midnightpoet said:


> (staring at a pill bottle) "...did I just take that pill?"







How big was the pill man...Some are not meant to be swallowed but placed in other parts...


----------



## Olly Buckle

midnightpoet said:


> (staring at a pill bottle) "...did I just take that pill?"



The pills are okay, I fill the pill boxes once a week and if that days are still there I didn't take them; But the eye drops ...


----------



## lvcabbie

Check your blood sugar and, by the time you get to the computer to input it - and you forget what it was!


----------



## sas

PrinzeCharming said:


> Your candles cost more than your cake. :cupcake:




Even I was shocked that in one breath I blew out my 70 candles...effortlessly. Guess I am a big wind bag, as thought.


----------



## bobo

Birthday Cake, mon dieu – I stopped having birthdays when 12 years old.
After I hit 60 (according to my certificate) I decided to do as Merlin, getting one  year younger every year – the decision in itself doesn’t do it of course, you have to work for it  - but it’s magic  !!
so far so good – I’ll not tell about it, as it’s not exactly considered exoteric knowledge  
I’m now on my way to becoming … ???


----------



## escorial

The Curious Case of Bobo...Good film


----------



## dither

When you find yourself compiling a mental list of "things to do" and think of pottering about the house and garden with nothing much else to fill your days after you've outlived your best-by date. Don't know what the financial implications are, and that is a worry of course, or even if there will _be _an official "retirement-age". One can only wait and see but I am rapidly approaching that time and it looks as though I _shall _get there.
Mixed feelings, we shall see eh?


----------



## bobo




----------



## Gofa

You know your getting old when bits of you only work on medication


----------



## sas

Yikes. I think I just got a whiff of the grim reaper's bad breath on my neck. My son just got his AARP card. I'm on the run!


----------



## bobo

sas said:


> Yikes. I think I just got a whiff of the grim reaper's bad breath on my neck. My son just got his AARP card. I'm on the run!


You WAS very young when releasing him, wasn't you ??


----------



## Kevin

AARP?  -altzimer alternate retired people something or other. You get that at 50. Comes in the mail. It's like a 'you did not win' notice. _Yippee! Made it to 50! Bfd._..


----------



## sas

bobo said:


> You WAS very young when releasing him, wasn't you ??



Nope.
Well, today they'd say yes. My generation married young, especially those from blue collar families like mine. But, I was out of college a couple of years when he was born.  I married while still finishing college. I would have strangled my kids for that. They married in their early and late thirties. Such a big change from my generation to theirs. That made me an old grandparent. I'm paying the price by still needing to ski in my 70s with them. And, they show no mercy on the slopes. What happened to going to the circus?????


----------



## Kevin

Use it or lose it Sas. I met a couple of late seventies gals on the slopes at mammoth. They could've been eighties; I don't know...Anyway, in heavy-accent-'central Europe' ( think_ Frau Bluecher_)they bagged on their husbands all toasty back in the lodge . Yeah. Fist-bumped both of em. Lucky I was married. Lol.


----------



## sas

Kevin said:


> AARP?  -altzimer alternate retired people something or other. You get that at 50. Comes in the mail. It's like a 'you did not win' notice. _Yippee! Made it to 50! Bfd._..



Kevin (I know your AARP card is being pressed soon),  My son is thrilled he got it! He loves discounts. AARP has some good ones. He's kinda like Buffet. Lots of money that he falls on. We call him McScrooge. But, he follows my advice: Be frugal with yourself and generous with others. That AARP card helps with the first part. Here's a funny example of my family:  My sister has millions, still working at 77. When she goes to Vegas (genius IQ, counts cards, rarely leaves money there) she walks a block and a half to a gas station to buy cheap coffee, as she will not pay a shit-load for shit hotel coffee. I do not do that, but we all are a bit over the top about saving. So, Kevin, when your plastic card arrives, don't throw it out, pal. Keep it handy.


----------



## Kevin

It came awhile ago. You know, maybe it's just me, but all the discounts are on products we don't use. We use our AAA discount to rent cars or rooms. Maybe we're just not paying attention enough. Anyway, good advice. Always good to save a buck.


----------



## dither

Kevin,
every Saturday I go shopping. I know exactly what I'm going to shop for and what things cost. I have a routine, Lidl first for cheapos and then to Asda's for the not so cheapos.


----------



## bobo




----------



## midnightpoet

Encouraging sign - our next door widow lady is in her 90's and mows her own yard (riding mower, but still...).  She used to have flowers planted in an old commode in her yard - I think some bluenoses on the city council made her remove it...


----------



## LeeC

You're getting older when this sort of thing is too funny to be funny.


----------



## Olly Buckle

midnightpoet said:


> She used to have flowers planted in an old commode in her yard - I think some bluenoses on the city council made her remove it...



Heathens! Have they never heard of 'fountain' by Marcel Duchamp ?


----------



## LeeC

midnightpoet said:


> Encouraging sign - our next door widow lady is in her 90's and mows her own yard (riding mower, but still...).  She used to have flowers planted in an old commode in her yard - I think some bluenoses on the city council made her remove it...


She should have sued, as in truth it's a realistic art piece depicting life ;-)


----------



## Kevin

Give it time... In my day I've seen people locked up/in big trouble for a single doobie, televised police raids on gay-bars, transferred priests, something that was called a 'Chicano', 'New York drivers' ( in LA...hahaha- we are them, now), occasional 'Hobos'(look Ma! What is that?), smog, something called acid rain, jobs, unions, drive-ins, fines for not watering your lawn, fines for not having a lawn...


----------



## dither

bobo said:


> View attachment 17698



Way t'go bobo.


----------



## bobo




----------



## bobo




----------



## sas

You nailed the eyebrow problem. My partner was complaining about his and almost accidentally shaved one off this week. Had to even them out. Ha, ha, ha!


----------



## JustRob

bobo said:


> View attachment 17698



Presumably she has to ride around leaning sideways like that all the time because she can't see through the windscreen.

One sign that one is getting old is that past things return. For example, when I was young many people in Britain didn't have a landline telephone and didn't need one, but nowadays many people don't have a landline telephone and don't need one. Ah, how the world has changed.


----------



## bobo




----------



## JustRob

When the Automobile Association send you their limited edition 50th Anniversary Road Atlas given to people who have been members for half a century. Mine arrived this morning. The covering letter mentioned that since I joined men have walked on the moon and the Internet has evolved. It's odd that while mentioning these things they didn't also mention that Internet linked satellite navigation has largely replaced road atlases. In fact yesterday my angel and I returned from a 580 mile round trip to visit friends guided by our satnav "Moaning Minnie", who seems to get very upset when we don't go the way that she wants us to. However, it's the thought that counts and it is a nicely bound book, so evidently at the AA they believe that there is still a place for conventional books in this digital age. I can't imagine an astronaut using one on the moon though, not a fully bound hardback version anyway.


----------



## midnightpoet

To look back and see all the changes in the world - some positive, some counterproductive (as far as I'm concerned).  Change is inevitable, but not always wise, wonder if some will be cut down to size.


----------



## bobo




----------



## Love2write

You know you're getting old when someone bumps into you and says' Mam' I am so sorry, not Miss I am sorry, it's Mam' I am sorry.


----------



## escorial

When the days get shorter and the years fly by...


----------



## bobo

He-he, a far as I know, esc - you're still a young man


----------



## escorial

when you own summer slippers and winter slippers


----------



## Kevin

Haven't owned slippers since I was 10.   I guess once I own them again I will be old.


----------



## escorial

Kevin said:


> Haven't owned slippers since I was 10.   I guess once I own them again I will be old.



Have you still got the pipe an smoking jacket..


----------



## escorial

When life has sucked you dry.



Join us...for real


----------



## Olly Buckle

> Join us...for real


Dancers? Shouldn't that be 'for reel' ?

You know how to attract women, it is just too late in the day.


----------



## JustRob

escorial said:


> When life has sucked you dry.
> 
> View attachment 18516
> 
> Join us...for real



My school had its own morris team in Sussex. See, I even know the correct terminology. I tried it myself once. Who was it said that we should try everything once in life except for morris dancing and incest? My _youngest_ sister is ten years older than me, so when I was seven she was seventeen and spent every free moment of the summer wearing a swimsuit around the house and garden. She married young but my platonic early years with her were bliss and the totally innocent games that we played were far better than morris dancing. She's still around and so is our even older sister, so I don't feel that old yet, not as long as she keeps on calling me "little brother". Regarding that swimsuit, I still have the playmate style photos from well over sixty years ago. No wonder she married young. Such memories don't age.


----------



## escorial

You know your getting old when you've tried incest and Morris dancing....


----------



## JustRob

escorial said:


> You know your getting old when you've tried incest and Morris dancing....



No, you know you're getting old when it's too late to consider doing either.


----------



## Sebald

JustRob said:


> No, you know you're getting old when it's too late to consider doing either.



Morris dancing? That's disgusting, you guys.


----------



## SilverMoon

What on earth is Morris dancing?


----------



## Kevin

This maybe:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLVfez1kZOLyR_qwhwHKLrPEyjeLhp_rH4&v=N2FPQvwhSDY


----------



## LeeC

Sebald said:


> Morris dancing? That's disgusting, you guys.


What's wrong with Morris dancing? I had to look it up and found I do something like that. With both canes planted firmly I lift one foot up and down, then the other. Then I step forward and do the same thing again. Works best with Celtic music and is part of my PT exercises. The basic consideration, like everything in the slow lane, is never get ahead of your canes.

--------

Didn't see your California variation when I looked it up Kev  What was that, foreplay?


----------



## escorial

SilverMoon said:


> What on earth is Morris dancing?



It's was originally a pagan dance about the harvest an country stuff that turned into a bunch of men acting weird on bank holidays... I've never seen one
..


----------



## escorial

LeeC said:


> What's wrong with Morris dancing? I had to look it up and found I do something like that. With both canes planted firmly I lift one foot up and down, then the other. Then I step forward and do the same thing again. Works best with Celtic music and is part of my PT exercises. The basic consideration, like everything in the slow lane, is never get ahead of your canes.



Do you wear the bells....


----------



## Sebald

I'm getting really concerned, Esc, that no-one has asked about the incest :-x


----------



## escorial

Sebald said:


> I'm getting really concerned, Esc, that no-one has asked about the incest :-x



Not everyone has pets..


----------



## Sebald

Now animals are involved? I thought this was a gentle thread, about getting older?


----------



## JustRob

Sebald said:


> Now animals are involved? I thought this was a gentle thread, about getting older?



"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rage at close of day;" (Dylan Thomas)


----------



## bobo

Re summer & winter slippers,
at a certain point you, or your surroundings will want you to drink of such one, 
a gobelet canard/goblet duck beak


----------



## Olly Buckle

SilverMoon said:


> What on earth is Morris dancing?


Come to Hastings for May day. It has the biggest Morris festival in Britain; Jack in the Green. Some time since I have been and it has grown a lot, it used to be up in the Castle, but I think that is too small nowadays. Copy and paste this to Google
youtube hastings jack in the green
There is loads there, a lot of it of the procession, what they don't show so much are the bikes, it is an anuall ride out for many and they park nose to nose in the centre of the road all the way along the sea front, there are some lovely machines.

Edit, You're getting old when you can remember taking your little girl to what has become a huge festival, and you sat down the front with her on your lap, no crush, no crowding.


----------



## escorial

bobo said:


> Re summer & winter slippers,
> at a certain point you, or your surroundings will want you to drink of such one,
> a gobelet canard/goblet duck beak
> 
> View attachment 18531


It has been said you revert back to being a baby...


----------



## JustRob

Still on the subject of Morris dancing, a lady with whom I worked at our offices in Tunbridge Wells was a member of the only ladies Morris team in existence at that time. Morris dancing is traditionally solely performed by men, it apparently having its roots in fertility rituals, although whether that was the fertility of crops or people is debated. It could easily have been both though as the people were needed to work the crops.

One of the most difficult dances is considered to be the fool's dance, which is a solo performance by a very agile "fool", one of the traditional performers in some teams. When we were staying in the Green Dragon Inn in the Cotswolds the local Morris team turned up to perform outside and I asked the fool whether we would see a fool's dance. He said that they had two fools that day as he was training his replacement and unfortunately he himself was too old and his apprentice was too inexperienced to perform it. Well, as they say, there's no fool like an old fool. Morris teams predominantly perform to raise money for charity, but during their rounds of the inns and ale houses they tend to get other perks thrown in. Here's a photo taken at the Green Dragon. The lady in white cream (she tells me) standing at the side is indubitably an angel.


​


----------



## SilverMoon

Rob, thanks for the history of Morris dancing. Quite a colourful Fertility Ritual.



> One of the most difficult dances is considered to be the fool's dance, which is a solo performance by a very agile "fool",


 Very interesting. I can't figure out which of my two ex-husbands would be the solo performer. Give me time.



> When we were staying in the Green Dragon Inn in the Cotswolds the local Morris team turned up to perform outside


 That's where my half-sister and I stayed when in the Cotswolds!



> I asked the fool whether we would see a fool's dance. He said that they had two fools that day


 Whew! No more thought  to be had as to which husband would fit the bill. 



> Here's a photo taken at the Green Dragon. The lady in white cream (she tells me) standing at the side is indubitably an angel.


]

 She is an angel, after all! Looks like the Morris dancers are dancing just for her, and deservingly so! And she is right. There is a big difference between white and cream. You are one lucky husband to have and Angel for a wife.


----------



## bobo

escorial said:


> It has been said you revert back to being a baby...



If you're lucky 
Some just become mean, old men pinching the young girls and adressing the police officers as 'son' :hi:


----------



## SilverMoon

> Originally Posted by *SilverMoon*
> 
> what on earth is Morris dancing





> Originally Posted by *Olly Buckle*
> 
> Come to Hastings for May day. It has the biggest Morris festival in Britain; Jack in the Green. Some time since I have been and it has grown a lot, it used to be up in the Castle, but I think that is too small nowadays. Copy and paste this to Google
> youtube hastings jack in the green
> There is loads there, a lot of it of the procession, what they don't show so much are the bikes, it is an anuall ride out for many and they park nose to nose in the centre of the road all the way along the sea front, there are some lovely machines.


,

My! A castle too small for the festival? Maybe, tongue in cheek? When in England never got to see a Castle but did see a Manor House. I will have to go back and make sure it's on May Day!

Thank you, Olly, I will check out that YouTube.


----------



## midnightpoet

One thing I'm sure of - I can't take the heat like I used to; I understand there's a major heat wave right now, so I'm sure there are many seniors suffering.  It hit 107 yesterday here( I imagine those temps are tough on everyone).


----------



## JustRob

You know you're getting old when you're still thinking about Morris dancing while everyone else has moved on to discuss a new subject.


----------



## LeeC

midnightpoet said:


> One thing I'm sure of - I can't take the heat like I used to; I understand there's a major heat wave right now, so I'm sure there are many seniors suffering.  It hit 107 yesterday here( I imagine those temps are tough on everyone).




It has been relatively cooler here in northern New England, but even more variable than usual. Climate variations are of course to be expected, but it's only going to get worse as big money milks every last penny out of fossil fuels. Did you see the press release by MIT about Mr. Avarice's misuse of their scientific research on climate change?
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/blog/2017/06/02/mit-trump-climate/

Puts me in mind of something Aldo Leopold said, “I am glad I will not be young in a future without wilderness.”

Only my version is, "I'm glad I'll be gone when the chickens come home to roost on our ignorance."



Take care


----------



## dither

When your whole  being focuses on your _well-_being just to keep going.
No I don't necessarily want " live long ", it's simply that really, at my age, I think I should be slowing down, there are people, young men half my age, who would struggle with _my _life-style.
I think about my eating habits during the working week and _think_ I'm eating well enough, just to keep going.
I _do _try to retain a modicum of enthusiasm for other things but life is so tiring nowadays and also, I worry about such a time when I won't be working, that time is rapidly approaching, although I am looking forward to idling in later years, assuming that there will _be "_ later years " of course, I have mixed feelings about getting old but I won't go into that here, a blog perhaps, if I can manage to get my brain into gear, now is cider-time.

I don't even visit local Libraries any more and bus-riding for pleasure, well...
Life eh?

I say I'm going to _do _things. I was going to buy a camera, and that damned fence _still _needs to be stained. Don't know if the woo-stain that I have will be any good now, I had it for two years now.


----------



## JustRob

When you spend the whole of your days doing the things that used to happen in between living your life.


----------



## Kevin

Mmm. I'm hoping to preserve myself so that I can still enjoy the activities I like if and when I make to the 'free-time zone'.


----------



## sas

Kevin said:


> Mmm. I'm hoping to preserve myself so that I can still enjoy the activities I like if and when I make to the 'free-time zone'.



I did "preserve myself". Damn glad I did. I can now still climb up The Rockies and ski 'em down. I've never felt so alive, or appreciative of the earth, nor so worried my grandchildren will not have this pristine beauty to experience with their grandchildren. We should be ashamed.


----------



## Nellie

sas said:


> I did "preserve myself". Damn glad I did. I can now still climb up The Rockies and ski 'em down. I've never felt so alive, or appreciative of the earth, nor so worried my grandchildren will not have this pristine beauty to experience with their grandchildren. We should be ashamed.



And you live in DE-troit?  That is ONE nasty place, is it not? I LIVE in the Rockies but have problems skiing down. But I can hike up them. Nice clean environment! Two grown kids, but no grand-kids, YET.ale:


----------



## sas

Nellie said:


> And you live in DE-troit?  That is ONE nasty place, is it not? I LIVE in the Rockies but have problems skiing down. But I can hike up them. Nice clean environment! Two grown kids, but no grand-kids, YET.ale:



Detroit: Where the weak are killed and eaten.

My son has home in Colorado Springs, and also small condo in Breckenridge. I am so lucky to be able to vacation there. Love, love that State. I just booked my summer trip to hike/climb in Breck. My favorite is Mohawk Mountain. We "boulder up, off trail". I ski Breck in the Spring. I can ski for just $30 at the Legend, as over 70. They should let old idiots ski for free!!!!  I like Keystone for long, long runs. Where do you live?


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you can remember waiting for Children's hour on the Home Service, and then when you remember waiting for and turning up God Save the Queen when the tv finished at midnight. It wound up the moaning next door neighbour, "What! You're complaining about the national anthem being too loud?"


----------



## escorial

when you put 50 pence pieces in the back of the telly


----------



## LeeC

When the parasites seem to all focus on you. My land line an iPad telephones are set to quiet, and every so often I skim through any messages like one might their email junk folder. Lately there's been a slew of calls from some party wanting to give me a free medic alert system. Come on folks, if it was actually free would they bother contacting me?


----------



## Olly Buckle

LeeC said:


> When the parasites seem to all focus on you. My land line an iPad telephones are set to quiet, and every so often I skim through any messages like one might their email junk folder. Lately there's been a slew of calls from some party wanting to give me a free medic alert system. Come on folks, if it was actually free would they bother contacting me?



Parasites are always there, but now they offer stuff like the alert system, stairlifts, wheelchairs, and they are willing to invest my money or give me an income if they can have my home when I die. Where do people advertise music festivals, comedy shows, theater, concerts, and having fun?


----------



## bobo




----------



## JustRob

When you understand this video.

[video=youtube;qteu4ld_SCE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qteu4ld_SCE[/video]


----------



## Olly Buckle

You can chat easily to the women on the checkout without them wondering if you are going to try 'chatting them up or something'. There comes a point where you both know you really don't have a chance and can relax and be human


----------



## sas

Olly Buckle said:


> You can chat easily to the women on the checkout without them wondering if you are going to try 'chatting them up or something'. There comes a point where you both know you really don't have a chance and can relax and be human



just don't ask them to squeeze any of your fruit. Raises flags.


----------



## escorial

When body odours become more pungent


----------



## midnightpoet

escorial said:


> When body odours become more pungent



What do old people smell like?  Depends.:icon_cheesygrin: (groan alert!)


----------



## escorial

midnightpoet said:


> What do old people smell like?  Depends.:icon_cheesygrin: (groan alert!)



Digestive biscuits


----------



## Bloggsworth

When you have to get a doobrie for the end of your putter in order to retrieve your ball from the cup...


----------



## JustRob

escorial said:


> When body odours become more pungent



... but you don't realise it. I have fond childhood memories of being able to smell everything, even things that one doesn't normally consider to have a smell, but now my sense of smell has faded. That sense is very important. It is the one thing that truly connects us with reality. It is even said that nobody ever smells anything in dreams, which is very interesting if true. Certainly I feel that many of my emotions were in the past connected with subtle smells, so now it is harder to feel that essential connection with reality. It is why, despite all the efforts made in modern communications technology, our virtual environments are a long way from representing reality and those who indulge in them excessively are missing what reality actually feels like.

Ah, poor me. Sniff ... Sniff, *sniff,* *sniff!*


----------



## midnightpoet

...and having constant leaky pipes doesn't help any


----------



## bobo

As we use to say: when getting old, you see badly, hear badly --- and you smell badly 
(well, we also know that the bad smell usually comes from clothes, never or seldom washed/cleaned - take care :apple


----------



## JustRob

bobo said:


> As we use to say: when getting old, you see badly, hear badly --- and you smell badly
> (well, we also know that the bad smell usually comes from clothes, never or seldom washed/cleaned - take care :apple



Ah, but I have an angel to watch, and sniff, over me. Speaking of my angel, this gives me the opportunity to return to the important subject of Morris dancing, previously discussed, in a manner of speaking.



			
				JustRob said:
			
		

> ​


In the picture my angel, on the left, is wearing a cream skirt. (I have been reprimanded for calling it white already, but it may be the very fact that we old men can't tell the difference between white and cream that causes those disturbing aromas in our own clothes.) She is wearing the same skirt today and I was admiring the way that it flares, so she explained to me that that is because it is a godet skirt, which is a new term to me. 

A godet is a triangular piece of material inserted into an item of clothing to make it flare, the word originating, as you Bobo no doubt know, from a French word. They can also be added for the purpose of decoration, as in the case of my angel's apparently everlasting skirt, where they are embroidered as well as creating the flare. The technology doesn't concern me though, only the resultant effect, which I admire.

So, one never ceases to learn, even from someone who has been a close companion for almost half a century. However, I wonder how wise it would be to mention a godet skirt in the description of a character in one's writing, causing ignorant readers like myself to refer to their dictionaries. It is to my mind, as Sam would say, a ten cent word. With my angel wearing it I would value it much higher though.

Now, while we're here, on the subject of Morris dancing ...


----------



## bobo

He-he, JustRob, can't you see the difference in colour hue between the Morris Dancers' outfit, and that of the nice lady's on the left ??
The Morris Dancers are in white, where the nice lady's robe is off-white or crème - meaning there's a little yellow added to the white - to take the edge of the white


----------



## Shirl the Whirl

You know that you are getting old when you daren't sunbathe in the garden, in case you get pecked by over-eager vultures!


----------



## escorial

You start telling people how old you are


----------



## bobo

escorial said:


> You start telling people how old you are



Yes, I'am always telling that I'm 88 - then they admire me and say: whow, you look 20-30 years younger - lol
(nobody says we have to tell the truth, eh ??)

:-({|=


----------



## sas

bobo said:


> Yes, I'am always telling that I'm 88 - then they admire me and say: whow, you look 20-30 years younger - lol
> (nobody says we have to tell the truth, eh ??)
> 
> :-({|=




Here is some advice to a co-worker that got me into trouble.

It was her 48th birthday. She said she hated when people asked how old she was. So, smart ass me, told her to add 10 years, and everyone will gush, at how young she looks. The next day, she said I had ruined her birthday, because no one expressed shock, at her being 58. Truly, she didn't speak to me the rest of the week. 

I tell people that when I give advice, although I am quite confident, it is always to be suspect.


----------



## escorial

you put talc down your underpants an talc on your feet before the socks go on...


----------



## Kevin

Don't breath it. Talc dust kills.


----------



## escorial

might use icing sugar instead...safer


----------



## Sebald

That sounds messy.


----------



## bobo

escorial said:


> might use icing sugar instead...safer



Micronized sugar and sweat --- sound like ... and what's supposed to be the cake ??


----------



## sas

escorial said:


> you put talc down your underpants an talc on your feet before the socks go on...




Many recent lawsuits filed and won against J & J product, baby powder (talc),  causing ovarian cancer in women who used it in underwear. (My aunt died at age 48 of ovarian cancer, many years ago. I know she used it, but we never equated that as a cause until now). Evidence show J & J knew. Just like tobacco companies hid cancer cause. Do not use it, especially on children. Be careful not inhaled. There is nothing good about talc.


----------



## escorial

bobo said:


> Micronized sugar and sweat --- sound like ... and what's supposed to be the cake ??



Cheese cake


----------



## bobo

escorial said:


> Cheese cake


That was ....I think that was a show stopper - lolololol


----------



## Kevin

E-man... watch out for your ovaries.


----------



## escorial

I keep them in a silk purse...


----------



## sas

Kevin said:


> E-man... watch out for your ovaries.




Yes. They could be inside the wife or daughter you love. Men...tell them.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you meet people you remember being born and they have their children with them. Happened quite a lot today, it was a good experience though.


----------



## bobo

Olly Buckle said:


> When you meet people you remember being born and they have their children with them. Happened quite a lot today, it was a good experience though.



Sounds as a family man


----------



## JustRob

I was looking at the programme of day courses at our local adult education centre and mentioned one on the subject of "Pottermania" to my angel, so she asked, "Beatrix or Harry?" Well, you can't tell just how "adult" the people at whom these courses are aimed might be.


----------



## escorial

your havin difficulty multi-taskin


----------



## bobo

Wow - one of the species: broadmouthed telephone eater.
Looks a bit angry


----------



## escorial

You start dribbling your drinks in public


----------



## Olly Buckle

JustRob said:


> I was looking at the programme of day courses at our local adult education centre and mentioned one on the subject of "Pottermania" to my angel, so she asked, "Beatrix or Harry?" Well, you can't tell just how "adult" the people at whom these courses are aimed might be.



I always look , just in case. It often puzzles me who they get to go on these courses learning to make useless objects out of tat. I spend my life trying to get rid of junk not make more of it. Ahh -ha; got it, I must be getting old 

Seriously I have only ever found one course, on writing film scripts, that interested me; I paid the money, went along, and it was rubbish!


----------



## JustRob

Olly Buckle said:


> Seriously I have only ever found one course, on writing film scripts, that interested me; I paid the money, went along, and it was rubbish!



The one that I attended on _Alice in Wonderland _was, for want of a word, wonderful. The lady running it was incredibly knowledgeable and had brought an amazing collection of editions of the book with illustrations by various well-known artists as well as books of the author's letters and diaries, which demonstrated just what a polymath he was. She also showed extracts from films based on the book. Her explanations of the political references within the book were also fascinating. It is pot luck whether you get a good experience at these things though. 

Maybe being intrigued by such a subject is a sign that one's brain wants more to occupy it. Is that a sign of ageing or that one isn't prepared to yet though?


----------



## sas

escorial said:


> You start dribbling your drinks in public




Drinks? 

You start dribbling before you can reach a bathroom.


----------



## escorial

sas said:


> Drinks?
> 
> You start dribbling before you can reach a bathroom.



put the ball away then


----------



## bobo




----------



## dither

bobo said:


> View attachment 19565



Yup,
I reckon that's about right.


----------



## TuesdayEve

You know your getting old when:
when sitting is best position


----------



## bobo

Floater see here


----------



## bobo




----------



## Olly Buckle

bobo said:


> View attachment 19565



Exactly, except for the stinking cigars and alcohol.


----------



## SilverMoon

When you're arthritic and can only move two  fingers.


----------



## midnightpoet

You know you're old when you still get horny but can't remember why.:wink:


----------



## Olly Buckle

midnightpoet said:


> You know you're old when you still get horny but can't remember why.:wink:



... who, where, or when.


----------



## JustRob

Overheard in the supermarket yesterday.

"My baby grandson told me to get a life!"


----------



## Olly Buckle

JustRob said:


> Overheard in the supermarket yesterday.
> 
> "My baby grandson told me to get a life!"



Well, if you will hang around places like that ... did you expect people who have a life there?


----------



## JustRob

Olly Buckle said:


> Well, if you will hang around places like that ... did you expect people who have a life there?



We weren't hanging around but shopping for essentials. I do my hanging around to hear quotable remarks here in WF. So what are you implying about WF members, including yourself, exactly? Anyway, it was the fact that the woman concerned said "baby grandson" which made us wonder just how old he was. It could have been very disconcerting for his parents if the first words that he ever spoke were "Get a life!" although, not having had children ourselves, we could understand that observation.


----------



## Olly Buckle

JustRob said:


> We weren't hanging around but shopping for essentials. I do my hanging around to hear quotable remarks here in WF. So what are you implying about WF members, including yourself, exactly? Anyway, it was the fact that the woman concerned said "baby grandson" which made us wonder just how old he was. It could have been very disconcerting for his parents if the first words that he ever spoke were "Get a life!" although, not having had children ourselves, we could understand that observation.



It does raise a great image of him in his push chair with bottle and cigar, wearing a trilby maybe, drawling out of the side of his mouth


----------



## dither

When you can't find any clothes that suit your tastes.
What's a bloke to do?
I've always avoided shopping online, especially clothes, preferring to feel the quality, y'know?
But here I go.


----------



## escorial

i watched myself getting older yesterday....just sat there an watched the minutes 10.59 and when it got to 11.15...went the shops


----------



## Terry D

When your haircuts include your ears.


----------



## Kevin

I remember when I finally got out of that school. It was going to be so "boss" ( or was it bitchen? shit--) And then we walked in and we were the little-shits, again, fucking first grade. Yeah, took six more years to get out of that one... and then, hell: it was middle school. 13, man...and starting all over. Talk about stress...


----------



## bobo




----------



## Winston

I remember how cocky and ignorant that kid was... and would do anything to be him again.  
(Well, at least for a day or two)


----------



## escorial

we never change man we just need more money


----------



## Bloggsworth

Acquiescence.


----------



## Kevin

Winston said:


> View attachment 19698
> 
> I remember how cocky and ignorant that kid was... and would do anything to be him again.
> (Well, at least for a day or two)


 you were dating twiggy... (!!) Ee-yeah....


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you remember Children's hour on the Home service, and then, early twenties, TV finishing at midnight with the National anthem. The guy next door was very unpleasant about us having the volume up and laughing loudly at Monty Python, threatened to write to the council, so we turned the TV up full volume every midnight, complain about us playing *that* too loudly, if you dare.


----------



## bobo

Olly Buckle said:


> ..., so we turned the TV up full volume every midnight, complain about us playing *that* too loudly, if you dare.



So-o-o, you DO have a mean streak ?? irate:


----------



## Olly Buckle

50 years ago, when provoked, but yes, I can have my moments


----------



## TuesdayEve

You know you're getting old when
you can remember (thank goodness) who, when and 
where seeing the original Star Wars movie


----------



## Olly Buckle

TuesdayEve said:


> You know you're getting old when
> you can remember (thank goodness) who, when and
> where seeing the original Star Wars movie



I remember the kids going on about it, I don't think I ever did watch it.


----------



## bobo

Olly Buckle said:


> 50 years ago, when provoked, but yes, I can have my moments


Aha - but don't you think you was the original provoker ??


----------



## Olly Buckle

bobo said:


> Aha - but don't you think you was the original provoker ??



No, we were watching TV and laughing one evening, probably about nineo'clock, he turned up on the doorstep on Sunday lunchtime and started shouting abusively, I think maybe two days later, ruined a pleasant meal when he could have asked at the time and been treated reasonably. He was one of those 'You long haired scum...' sorts, left over from the 1940's and 50's who felt anyone under 30 was his inferior and should jump when he spoke; 'the times they were a changing'.


----------



## bobo

Oh, you was long-haired too - lololololol    :icon_bounce:      
The story gets better and better


----------



## Olly Buckle

1969, 25 years old, student, of course I had long hair.


----------



## midnightpoet

By the time I was 25, I'd lost most of my hair.


----------



## dither

Feeling so unsure of how one feels about life nowadays.
Views opinions preferences all seemed so clear cut when I was younger.
Where once there was black or white  there is only grey and now I'm not so sure of anything any more.


----------



## Sleepwriter

You know you're getting old when your first grandbaby is born.


----------



## PiP

Sleepwriter said:


> You know you're getting old when your first grandbaby is born.



Now you can wet the babies head!...was it a boy or girl?
\\/

:champagne::champagne:


----------



## Sleepwriter

PiP said:


> Now you can wet the babies head!...was it a boy or girl?
> \\/
> 
> :champagne::champagne:



Boy, born just after I made that post.


----------



## PiP

Has he got a name yet? :icon_bounce:


----------



## JustRob

While fitting a new control unit in our central heating boiler recently the heating engineer got confused about something for a moment and remarked that he was having a "senior moment". Myself being almost 73 I told him that he was too young for those, as I was as well hopefully, and he replied that he is over forty now! You know you're getting old when people who are far younger believe that they are. 

I think that in reality they are just realising that they aren't getting any younger, which is quite different. There's a tipping point when ability has peaked and experience is still building that one has to take a different view of life. The real senior moments aren't when you don't know what you are doing but when you know full well what to do but don't have the ability or energy to do it. That does make some of us better and more industrious writers of erotica though ... as well as instruction manuals on many other hobbies of course. There's always an up side.


----------



## JustRob

When you don't recognise a birthday reminder that you copied into your diary from last year's because it's for your own birthday.

Me? No, I don't own a diary. They are only of use if you know what day it is already.


----------



## bobo




----------



## Olly Buckle

Sleepwriter said:


> Boy, born just after I made that post.


Congratulations, now you have the joy of having fun with them, and get to hand them back when they are tired and grumpy


----------



## haribol

One of the things I feel getting old is more and  more confusions wrap me up and I  find everybody grumpy and adjustment becomes a challenge. As a young person decades ago the world was young too and now with me everything is getting older and I feel irritated by small and small lapses I come across. Things are blurred and the people I come across are full of preoccupations and that is why it is hard to trust anybody and  yes therefore the world is getting older and uglier as I am aging. After fifty things go vaguer.


----------



## midnightpoet

Yeah, as you get older the jungle beasts get hungry for old bones, they crack easier and our old flesh must be easier to chew, we just have to fight so we're not so savory.


----------



## Olly Buckle

midnightpoet said:


> Yeah, as you get older the jungle beasts get hungry for old bones, they crack easier and our old flesh must be easier to chew, we just have to fight so we're not so savory.



Exercise well to make yourself stringy, eat lots of chilli; and carry a rifle


----------



## dither

You know you ARE old when you're walking about the house with cold bare feet when you  get out bed  because you're unable to bend the body far enough to reach your feet to put socks on. Maybe I should get myself a onesie to sleep in.
I've been up just over an hour and my back has finally relented.


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> You know you ARE old when you're walking about the house with cold bare feet when you  get out bed  because you're unable to bend the body far enough to reach your feet to put socks on. Maybe I should get myself a onesie to sleep in.
> I've been up just over an hour and my back has finally relented.



Don't want to pour cold water,but I'm not  sure that is age. My friend who is almost 50 offered me a chair toput my shoes on , and was astounded that I could bend over and tie my laces, saying he couldn't. I think it inspired himto get his push bike out, that made him even stiffer   It takes perseverance.


----------



## escorial

when you get out of bed with your socks still on


----------



## Firemajic

escorial said:


> when you get out of bed with your socks still on



When you don't remember putting your socks ON...


----------



## LeeC

escorial said:


> when you get out of bed with your socks still on


Hey, in this drafty old farmhouse in the dead of winter, I wear woolly socks in bed.


----------



## escorial

any photo's...


----------



## LeeC

escorial said:


> any photo's...


shame on you


----------



## escorial

sock fetish is big man...or is it foot...or feet


----------



## Ultraroel

Tomorrow I'll be 30. I don't feel old, but people keep telling me I am.


----------



## escorial

in the past you would have been considered old but now people live as long as LC


----------



## sas

Ultraroel said:


> Tomorrow I'll be 30. I don't feel old, but people keep telling me I am.



Those "people" must have recently left a womb. Health issues aside, age is a matter of attitude. I sometimes ask, "How old would you think you were, if you didn't know your age?" It's a great conversation starter, and reveals much.


----------



## Ultraroel

True. I don't consider myself old and probably won't any time soon. Don't see the point on dwelling on age in the first place. It doesn't say squat about me


----------



## escorial

when you can get funeral care with no medical


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you can remember Mum giving the butcher the coupons from the ration book, and then, a few years later, coming home triumphant because the greengrocer had a green pepper. When I was a boy vegetables were things like cabbages, leeks and swedes that grew here, usually on Dad's allotment. He also grew garlic, but we only ate it at weekends or during the holiday, otherwise the other people at work would object to the way Dad smelled, voluably. Times change, the smell I remember as a small boy was tobacco, it was everywhere, just about everyone smoked, now its smell stands out and draws the sort of objections garlic did then.


----------



## LeeC

You know you're getting older when your shoe horn grows as other things shrink and droop.


----------



## Gofa

You know when 

the age of attraction slides up every year   Thank you God Ive never liked green fruit

You look at women for the light in their eyes and the smile on their lips rather than the bits that jiggle

but damn me yes I admit it
i still really like 60 year old jiggly bits

when i was young i liked older woman   Hard wired it guess
still do


----------



## dither

Gofa said:


> You look at women for the light in their eyes and the smile on their lips rather than the bits that jiggle
> 
> but damn me yes I admit it
> i still really like 60 year old jiggly bits




I have recently found myself thinking along similar lines but I always preferred jiggly to "giggly ".
Probably just a confidence thing.


----------



## dither

When the fizz has all but fizzled and the going won't go,
When the mind says yes but the body says no.
When boredom threatens and need stimulation is the key,
Don't know about you but it's all too much for me.

Regards,

dither...

Sorry about that, rant over.


----------



## Gofa

Dont let them give you blood pressure pills 
its like remmbering you had a three bedroom house but there is now no door way off the lounge 
Cutlery again
You still can spoon but a good fork is hard to find in the draws and is pretty much taken off in the table


----------



## dither

Gofa said:


> Dont let them give you blood pressure pills
> its like remmbering you had a three bedroom house but there is now no door way off the lounge
> Cutlery again
> You still can spoon but a good fork is hard to find in the draws and is pretty much taken off in the table



Not sure that I really want, or could even handle,  a decent fork nowadays.


----------



## Olly Buckle

I just put the washing machine on, who remembers twin tubs ?

By the by, I read something the other day about washing. Washing machines have not decreased the work load, women spend as much time doing washing today as they always did, however we are all a lot less smelly and it is not quite so backbreaking. Thinking back, I got two shirts and five collars to see the week out at school (Remember collar studs?) and they used to go to the laundry every week along with things like bedclothes, the big stuff was not washed at home.
We used to have a bath on Saturday, sometimes we would wash during the week, that was quite normal, though not everyone was that particular.


----------



## dither

Mr.Buckle,
I miss my old Twin-Tub but life was so much simpler then.
When I first left the family home I rented a flat and my first washing machine was TT and Sunday, for me, was wash day.
I loved it, could have washed all day. I found it very relaxing and, if we are to believe what was said of those things, I bet the girls miss them to but let's not go there.
I suppose the real gain with the modern machines is that you can programme  them and you don't have stand over them.


----------



## Gofa

The good old days when men were men
luxury i say


----------



## sas

Gofa said:


> The good old days when men were men
> luxury i say



Now men run around "carrying" pretending to be men.


----------



## dither

I never bothered pretending. I knew my place.


----------



## sas

Yep, I remember The Saturday Night Bath. Hot water expensive, so used same water...the youngest in first. I suppose smaller bodies meant less dirt; not to mention no pubic hairs. Sorry folks, reality considerations of the times. 

We had wringer washer. I actually had to restrain my impulse to stick my fingers between wringer when my mother warned me. She warned me about the empty light socket, too. I got zapped to the floor. Don't tell me not to do something. I have a potentially fatal flaw. So far no one has told me not to jump from a ski lift. I'm lucky.


----------



## Neetu

When you don't give a damn about the things that were the sole purpose of your day.


----------



## dither

Neetu said:


> When you don't give a damn about the things that were the sole purpose of your day.



Absolutely.
And you cannot believe that it ever mattered.


----------



## Neetu

True.


----------



## dither

Youth IS truly wasted on the young.


----------



## SilverMoon

> ​
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Originally Posted by *Neetu *When you don't give a damn about the things that were the sole purpose of your day.



When the sole purpose of your day is trying to remember what month it is.

_When you repeat yourself _*.*
.................................... *.*
.....................................*.*
.....................................*.*
.....................................*.*


----------



## SilverMoon

> Originally Posted by *Neetu *When you don't give a damn about the things that were the sole purpose of your day.



When the sole purpose of your day is trying to remember what month it is.


----------



## topcol

Olly Buckle said:


> You referee a rugby match and get twenty pairs of false teeth to look after. (No-one can get a full team together in that league)



You are clearly a brave man, Olly, refereeing rugby matches. What do you do to relax, wing-walking, bungee-jumping or just plain old juggling with live hand grenades?

topcol


----------



## topcol

..when you take up Yoga to enable you to pull your Chelsea boots on.


----------



## dither

SilverMoon said:


> When the sole purpose of your day is trying to remember what month it is.
> 
> _When you repeat yourself _*.*
> .................................... *.*
> .....................................*.*
> .....................................*.*
> .....................................*.*



I do that.


----------



## SilverMoon

> Originally Posted by *dither *I do that.



And isn't it great! We make no mistakes. Only blame goes to old age.


----------



## dither

Silvermoon,
I have problems knowing what day it is because, really, it doesn't matter.


----------



## midnightpoet

Yeah, I never got around to changing the clocks for daylight savings time. What for?  Don't have to go to work. Actually, retirement has enabled me to pursue my life's vocation: Procrastination.:-D


----------



## dither

midnightpoet said:


> Yeah, I never got around to changing the clocks for daylight savings time. What for?  Don't have to go to work. Actually, retirement has enabled me to pursue my life's vocation: Procrastination.:-D



I know when the working week starts, I know when it has ended. What else is there?


----------



## LeeC




----------



## Kevin

sas said:


> Now men run around "carrying" pretending to be men.


 what're you trying to say? 
Gary Cooper carried. John Wayne... How bout Shane? Shane tried not carry and look what happened.

bathing once a week sounds great to the 10 y.o. kid I once was. I need a shower every 24hrs now, or else. Yech.


----------



## SilverMoon

> Originally Posted by *dither *Silvermoon, I have problems knowing what day it is because, really, it doesn't matter.



dither, it mattered to me at 8am this morning after hearing the Dow plunged 1,175, trying to figure out how to add 7+6, to no avail, then bursting into tears before I reached my Financial Advisor.  

Yes. This literally was me.








When I said I was a mathematical idiot he told me to be easy on myself. That I should forgive myself in order to be at peace.

He majored in Psychology before he got into Money World.

I kid you not.​


----------



## dither

I have heard it said that forgiveness is a major part of self-healing and I try, I really do.
Sorry about the dow SilverMoon. Swings and roundabouts I suppose.


----------



## dither

Not happy about this cold-snap we're experiencing here. Okay, it's nothing like what you guys across the pond get but I'm too old for cold, specially working outdoors through the night.


----------



## sas

LeeC said:


> View attachment 20783




Remember them all...but list fatally missed the really old records: 78s


----------



## dither

Sorry SilverMoon but that pic you posted IS funny.


----------



## SilverMoon

> Originally Posted by *dither *Sorry SilverMoon but that pic you posted IS funny.



dither, if someone took a picture of me this morning, you'd not be able to see the difference of this one I posted. I do my massive paper work on the dinning room table. I was jotting down numbers, hammering on the calculator, crunching up papers, throwing them at the wall. Then the breakdown. Sobbing like no tomorrow because I feared tomorrow I'd be selling flowers on the street corner.

Now, I know I'm good to go...somewhere.


----------



## SilverMoon

> Originally Posted by *dither *Sorry SilverMoon but that pic you posted IS funny.



dither, if someone took a picture of me this morning, you'd not be able to see the difference of this one I posted. I do my massive paper work on the dinning room table. I was jotting down numbers, hammering on the calculator, crunching up papers, throwing them at the wall. Then finally breakdown. Sobbing like no tomorrow because I feared tomorrow I'd be selling flowers on the street corner. But all is well.



> *dither* I have heard it said that forgiveness is a major part of self-healing and I try, I really do.



Yes, It is tough, when we're older and look back at our wrong turns (which I try not to do) there's much forgiving to do. Then, I tell myself to stop thinking so much and go out to buy two pints of Carmel Chocolate Chip Gelato ice cream. I'm certain I've gained 5 pounds instantly, then practice forgiveness in the moment...



> *dither, once again! *Not happy about this cold-snap we're experiencing here. Okay, it's nothing like what you guys across the pond get but I'm too old for cold, specially working outdoors through the night.



"Too Old for Cold" LOL! I'm stealing this! And off to the Bahamas....


----------



## Nellie

SilverMoon said:


> Now, I know I'm good to go. Maybe to the Bahamas because I'm freezing my butt off on Long Island.



I'll go with you 'cause we're freezin' our butts off here in the Rockies, too.


----------



## SilverMoon

OK! Here's a warm up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TadZubd0YSo


----------



## TuesdayEve

You know you’re getting old when, the same hairstyle
you had 30 years ago has a different face.


----------



## TuesdayEve

Does anyone remember underarm guards?
Before anti-perspirant deodorant, my mom would wear 
little pads, kinda like miniture bra pads only
not as thick and much smaller with two thin strings of 
elastic attached. One string placed over the shoulder 
and other on the top of the arm supporting the pad 
inbetween that was under the arm. This protected 
the clothing from underarm stains and the look of wet 
armpits especially wearing your “good clothes”.


----------



## bobo

Yeah - remember 
and starched waist slip/petticoat :dejection:


----------



## LeeC

And the girls/ladies all wore slips/petticoats so men couldn't see their outline through their dress. What I see running around today, all they wear is what looks like pantyhose. It doesn't do most of them any favor. Oh, and in below freezing weather no less. I guess the advertising competition is getting stiffer.



note the prices


To me this all brings to mind pro life and pro gun. How did we get to the point to see those two compatible?


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

*Snow*

When you see snow and think broken hip, not let's build a snowman.


----------



## escorial

when buying a cd felt like the way to go


----------



## sas

escorial said:


> when buying a cd felt like the way to go



Some things just shouldn't change, like my natural hair color! 

Here is what I've done with CDs (not the plastic cases & not the ones I play) that have interesting graphics. At dinner parties, I use them as coasters next to place settings. I give the guys the ones with female nudes. I hate table cloths (why the fuck have beautiful wood and cover?) so they are unique and protect my tabletop. Everyone loves them. I should be able to buy them cheaper! The only upside I can think of.


----------



## dither

Why indeed.


----------



## escorial

you are an enigma sas


----------



## dither

escorial said:


> you are an enigma sas



She's a one-off for sure and I applaud that.


----------



## LeeC

You know you’re getting old when you remember listening to these on the radio:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZydTjtDrQQk&list=PLju47N49wokOE6DYFaevYqymR2uGhr954


Or even when you remember Saturday afternoon movie serials like:
https://youtu.be/ixgNtxpS354
You’d get there early to get a front row seat. That is before you got a little older and sat in the back rows with your girlfriend.



Who even remembers Buster Crabbe?


And we think what the kids are watching today is lame


----------



## escorial

when the radio was called the wireless


----------



## bobo

- and so were the bras :untroubled:


----------



## escorial

when a lady of the night was called a bras


----------



## TuesdayEve

How about Buster Crabbe? Flash Gordon was a Sunday 
morning ritual... my first addiction...I learned the line 
up at 6 yrs old...10 am, Rin Tin Tin, 10:30 Sky King and
11 was Flash Gordan but!!! ...ony 15 mins...so...it was
a blessed Sunday morning with a double episode! 
My hero, Flash. Ming the Merciless was always scary with
his widows peak... but the most fascinating to look at
 although boring to listen to, was Prince ?, of the winged
people...love those wings!


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

When it was normal to wire up electric plugs, yes even us ladies could do it!


----------



## midnightpoet

This is a local one, Dallas' WRR-AM radio had a late night program called "Cat's Caravan" hosted by "Old Jim Lowe," voice of "Big Tex" at the state fair.  It was mostly blues and jazz among other things and on summer nights I used to listen to it and later I could get a big station out of Chicago. This was in the late fifties and early sixties.


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

On this side of the pond we all tuned into Radio Luxembourg to hear the latest music.


----------



## bobo

BlondeAverageReader said:


> On this side of the pond we all tuned into Radio Luxembourg to hear the latest music.


Radio Luxembourg - yeah - those were the times of awe :thumbr:


----------



## sas

And who remembers when an automobile was called a "machine"?  My grandfather did that.


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

Day trips to the coast in a Charabanc, crates of beer for the men, and a sing song all the way home


----------



## LeeC

Hey, I remember Radio Luxembourg from when I was in Bad Tolz, Germany. Generally played good music. Had a girlfriend in Luxembourg also, for a short while. The US AFR was too “homey” for me. One of AFR’s sign offs was “see ya in the mornin’ at six o five, lords a willin’ and the creeks don’t rise.” 


Anyway, who remembers Gunsmoke on the radio. If you do, who played Marshal Matt Dillon in the radio series? No fair looking it up.


----------



## TuesdayEve

Don’t know about Matt Dillion on the radio but I 
remember James Arness on TV...how the Rifleman?
Ooo someone at work said Milburn Marshall re: radio.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When I was a kid there were the adventures of Dan Dare conquers the universe from the makers of Horlicks on Radio Luxembourg. We listened to it on ex army, heavy, bakelite, earphones. One each on my brother's crystal set.
 I suppose conquering the universe was the next logical step for an all British hero after establishing The Commonwealth.


----------



## dither

BlondeAverageReader said:


> On this side of the pond we all tuned into Radio Luxembourg to hear the latest music.



Happy days B.A.R.


----------



## Gofa

Sas
And who remembers when an automobile was called a "machine"? My grandfather did that.

it is a machine. I call my car a machine  and in a good day it answers me 
example
“Come on machine dont let me down now”.


----------



## Olly Buckle

sas said:


> And who remembers when an automobile was called a "machine"?  My grandfather did that.



Remember back in the day when cars were called 'automobiles', busses 'omnibusses', and coaches 'charabancs'?


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

My Dad had a Triumph Thunderbird 650 twin motorcycle combination. l made sure Mum sat in the sidecar while l enjoyed sitting on the back of the bike no matter what the weather, those were the days.


----------



## Cugoano

When you are disappointed because the last motorized cart at the super market has a sign on it saying "Do Not Use, Battery Charging".


----------



## Olly Buckle

BlondeAverageReader said:


> My Dad had a Triumph Thunderbird 650 twin motorcycle combination. l made sure Mum sat in the sidecar while l enjoyed sitting on the back of the bike no matter what the weather, those were the days.



When I was in my early twenties we had a 650 Panther with a sidecar that had been badly fitted, it would go round right hand corners, but not left hand ones, we also had a small Suzuki the lights did not work on, I remember coming home from the off licence on it one night and it passed midnight and all the street lights suddenly went out. It is a miracle I survived sometimes when I look back on my motorcycling history.


----------



## SilverMoon

You know when you're getting older if you remember this show


----------



## SilverMoon

_Always happens these days! Off to tech central!!!_


----------



## sas

Olly Buckle said:


> When I was in my early twenties we had a 650 Panther with a sidecar that had been badly fitted, it would go round right hand corners, but not left hand ones, we also had a small Suzuki the lights did not work on, I remember coming home from the off licence on it one night and it passed midnight and all the street lights suddenly went out. It is a miracle I survived sometimes when I look back on my motorcycling history.




That's perfect for seniors! Make three rights to make a left. Perfect!


----------



## midnightpoet

Who remembers "Sky King?"

or 
Sneaking a look at the comic books at the drug store while trying to avoid the eye of the pharmacist?
Sailing down a long hill on your bike, feet off the pedals? 
Exploring abandoned houses?
Trying to catch crawfish with string and a piece of bacon? 
Stirring doodlebug holes?


----------



## Olly Buckle

sas said:


> That's perfect for seniors! Make three rights to make a left. Perfect!



Remember we drive on the left, a right turn is across the traffic. Plus we have old cities with twisty streets, not grid systems.


----------



## escorial

You have an eating t-shirt


----------



## dither

When your radio is tuned to classical music. It's  so soothing .


----------



## Winston

I'm telling a guy that I need a new starter in my truck.  It's not a hard job, and I think I remember what it was like last time I replaced one.  Thirty years ago.


----------



## midnightpoet

Went to one of those big-box hardware warehouses, asked where are the turnbuckles.  No one had a clue what that was or where to find it.  I suppose it's the current attitude don't need to know anything just Google it.  I remember the old locally owned hardware stores, usually had some old guy who'd been there 30 years, knew every item in the place and how it worked.  (sigh)


----------



## Kevin

Turnbuckle- wthit? Is it a pirate belt? Shoes? Haha
i get that at the grocery store. They don't know a freakin rutabaga from a collared green:
What's this?
Thats a-nice.
 A- what? 
Anise - uh,  fennel.
The checkers I get all Arte Johnson/Ruth buzzy - "did I tell you look very becoming today"


----------



## lvcabbie

midnightpoet said:


> Went to one of those big-box hardware warehouses, asked where are the turnbuckles.  No one had a clue what that was or where to find it.  I suppose it's the current attitude don't need to know anything just Google it.  I remember the old locally owned hardware stores, usually had some old guy who'd been there 30 years, knew every item in the place and how it worked.  (sigh)



There's one of those here in Vegas. Just walk in and tell them what you're looking for and someone will walk right to it - exactly what you want.


----------



## lvcabbie

midnightpoet said:


> Went to one of those big-box hardware warehouses, asked where are the turnbuckles.  No one had a clue what that was or where to find it.  I suppose it's the current attitude don't need to know anything just Google it.  I remember the old locally owned hardware stores, usually had some old guy who'd been there 30 years, knew every item in the place and how it worked.  (sigh)



You're driving me nuts. I KNOW what a turnbuckle is! But, for the life of me I can't come up with it offhand - hate to admit it but have to do a search.  Of course that' what they are!!!! Used them on the farm when I was a kid 6 decades ago.


----------



## Plasticweld

Driving to the diner this morning I thought of something I had read many years ago.  

An old married couple were out for a drive.  The wife reminiscing about how it used to be when they were young.  “We used to sit so close, you had your arm around me and I had my head on my shoulder.”  When she finished her little speech, she fell silent.  After some thought the husband replied, “I haven’t moved.”

When my wife and I were dating I had a 1966 Chevy Belair.  It had bench seats and my wife used to sit by my side.  My hand on her knee, and a smile on my face.  We drove thousands of miles side by side, arm in arm. 

Today I don’t own anything with a bench seat, I am not even sure they make them anymore.  Today you would get a ticket for not wearing a seat-belt

_You don't see this anymore_


----------



## Olly Buckle

Reading about Medieval women I amon a bit about wills. People keep  getting left six and eightpence, or thirteen and fourpence, to be paid monthly over a year. You need to be pre-decimal to understand the significance of those amounts, They are fractions of a pound that can't be done decimally.


----------



## Kevin

Bench seat. My first pickup and first girlfriend, she used to slide over right next to me. It was nice - till she dumped me *sniff*. Can't have a bench seat anymore- my back...


----------



## midnightpoet

My first car had bucket seats but my girl was determined, she sat on the hump.  Did we use seat belts back then?  I forgot.:highly_amused:


----------



## escorial

When you have bought the album,tape,CD an down loaded the same original record...


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

escorial said:


> When you have bought the album,tape,CD an down loaded the same original record...


With you as far as the CDs. What’s this downloading?


----------



## escorial

A while back I had one of those expensive phones on contract an downloaded all my old music of I tunes..but I left it once an got it back but the experience made me think..I have better things to worry about than a mobile an when the contract was up I just got a run of the mill mobile..


----------



## midnightpoet

The more you watch late night talk shows the more you miss Johnny Carson.


----------



## sas

Personally, I'd love to have All In The Family back. Except I've little doubt that too many Americans would now be saying, "Right on, Archie!"  They would absolutely miss the point.


----------



## TuesdayEve

The Domestic Goddess, Roseanne is back on the air 
next week...I always got a lol out of her... so funny.
Words from the archives, ‘tongue lashing’ and 
‘whippersnapper’.


----------



## dither

TuesdayEve said:


> The Domestic Goddess, Roseanne is back on the air
> next week...I always got a lol out of her... so funny.
> Words from the archives, ‘tongue lashing’ and
> ‘whippersnapper’.



Lol!

And the caustic wit of her daughter. I love sarcasm when it's good.


----------



## Black Knight

You know you are getting old when dumb shit people do makes you angry...because you can no longer do dumb shit.
Also:


----------



## senecaone

Off our rockers, actin' crazy 
With the right medication we won't be lazy 
Doin' the old folks boogie 
Down on the farm 
Wheelchairs, they was locked arm in arm 
Paired off pacemakers with matchin' alarms 
Gives us jus' one more chance 
To spin one more yarn 
And you know that you're over the hill 
When your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill
Doin' the old folks boogie 
And boogie we will 
'Cause to us the thought's as good as a thrill 
Back at the home, 
No time is your own, 
Facillities there, they're all out on loan 
The bank forclose, and your bankruptcy shows 
And your credit creeps to an all-time low 
So you know, that you're over the hill 
When your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill 
Try and get a rise from an atrophied muscle, 
And the nerves in your thigh just quivers and fizzles 
So you know, that you're over the hill 
When your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill

~Little Feat, "Times loves a Hero" album, from before most of you were born

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4y4asj3sjM


----------



## escorial

When phrases like he/she are deaf and dumb were used publicaly


----------



## sas

Black Knight said:


> You know you are getting old when dumb shit people do makes you angry...because you can no longer do dumb shit.
> Also:View attachment 21089




Ditto to everything!


----------



## senecaone

Missin' You, I'm missin' you 
All those lovely things you do 
I tell ya true, it hurts theway I'm missin' you 
Nashville at sunrise 
Rains poundin' on my window 
Draws my sleepless eyes 
To witness one more dawn a break 
Winter's cold outside 
Oh I broke down and cried 
'Cause I'm missin' you, I'm missin' you 
And all those lovely things you do 
I'll tell ya true it hurts the way I'm missin' you 
'Cause I'm missin' you, I'm missin' you 
And all those lovely things you do 
I'll tell ya true it hurts the way I'm missin' you

that's what old people do. A bit of nostalgia. If you are lucky, the look backs will be mostly happy

It's not so much that you don't -do- dumb shit. it's more about "not sweating the small stuff, because it's all small stuff"


----------



## sas

You know you ARE old when your son turns 50, like mine today. The good thing is, I now know he turned out damn good.


----------



## senecaone

sas said:


> You know you ARE old when your son turns 50, like mine today. The good thing is, I now know he turned out damn good.


a sudden flood of grandchildren is another clear sign of the approach, of which I've received three in the last 11 months with a fourth due in November. When it rains!


----------



## escorial

when you had a meal at your grandparents an the cuttelry was massive


----------



## Kevin

You know you are getting old when you were 12 years-old and you used to lie in bed and imagine who you'd be/how you'd be in such-an-such year, with ones before 9s and then zeros after 2s, and now you've gone past the last date you had ever thought of. 

Btw, grandpa by 30 is a thing here, so get over it.  
  See, Mexicans are just like Irish. Maybe more vigorous.


----------



## Bloggsworth

... when you forget what you were going to post...


----------



## dither

Only this morning I found myself thinking as I ambled along a High Street as I shopped, how my stride has shortened and my pace has slowed. I mean ME, ambling. In the past so many people have said to me " go on you'd better go, I can't walk with you."
Often, as was always the case when I younger, if I'm going somewhere, time-sensitive or not, it's like " head down and I march ".
 Even when I'm going to work now, I have time to get there having caught a bus to the town of my work-place, it's stomp stomp stomp all the way there. I can't ever remember being any different but today, this morning, it suddenly occurred to me that I was actually, deliberately almost, taking my time. Walking at a leisurely pace.

Then, as I rode the bus home, I was sickened and appalled by what has become of the roadside between two small towns that the bus passes en-route. Hedgerows coated with plastic bags. One of these days, I swear, I'm going to walk that stretch with a bag of my own and carry out a one man clean-up.

Life eh?


----------



## Olly Buckle

Remember the wireless? More than just a radio. Wilfred Pickles, Much Binding in the Marsh, The Goon show, the wholw family sat down for that. I was allowed to stop up and listen to the broadcast of 'Under Milkwood', sixty plus years ago.

Remember 'scraps'  from the fish shop, all the bits of batter and odd chips. My Dad got the Manchester Guardian, the chip shop man gave me 1/2 d a pound for them, 1d a pound if I went through and slit the sheets separate. You would probably get health and safety round if you sold fish and chips in old newspapers nowadays, but you could read bits out to  each other while you ate the chips.


----------



## escorial

when your undies get bigger...


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

We ate Sunday roast listening to Two Way Family Favorites, followed by The Navy Lark.


----------



## JustRob

The wireless set? All highly polished wood with big Bakelite knobs, exotically foreign names of European stations on the tuning scale and the promise of incredible tone to the sound. Oh yes, I remember sitting up close to it listening to Journey into Space, which according to Wikipedia was the last programme on the wireless to get a bigger audience than television.

"What's that coming over the brim of that crater Mitch? It's ... it's ..."

"Halloo, my name's Eckles."

Oh sorry, wrong programme.

Back in those days I also tuned into lighthouses on the short wave band. They transmitted automatic identification signals in slow Morse code, but even so I had great difficulty interpreting it. I never did get the hang of Morse, even when I tried to learn it in the RAF cadet corps at school, and it's a bit late now.

The world is so much smaller now. Back then lighthouses and European cities seemed as far away as the moon and travel to any of them seemed an equally remote possibility to me. Frenchmen or Martians, they were all pretty much aliens to my mind then.

By the way, in those early days even the term "television" was barely catching on as the name of that box with the pictures. It was a television _set_, just like a wireless _set_ was and our first such set was a "Mark 1 Televisor", "televisor" being the name of the device while "television" was the name of the technology. Our use of language so quickly lapses into the minimum necessary though.


----------



## Olly Buckle

> The world is so much smaller now. Back then lighthouses and European cities seemed as far away as the moon and travel to any of them seemed an equally remote possibility to me. Frenchmen or Martians, they were all pretty much aliens to my mind then.



My mother corresponded all over the world. I remember her being amazed by airletters, she could write to  someone in Australia and get a reply back  in a month, only two  weeks each way!!


----------



## JustRob

Olly Buckle said:


> My mother corresponded all over the world. I remember her being amazed by airletters, she could write to  someone in Australia and get a reply back  in a month, only two  weeks each way!!



Yes, I remember that very thin airmail stationery, not that I ever used any myself. A wealthy lady, who owned the large house where my sister and her husband had a flat when they first married, (actually the old kitchen, larder and butler's pantry, everything behind the traditional green baize door, which he himself converted into a flat. It even still had the bells originally connected to all the rooms upstairs, which had also been converted into flats.) ... anyway, this lady gave me a book that was handed out to passengers on KLM flights back in those days.  It contained full colour maps of every country that the airline flew over with the routes shown as well as picture postcards, airmail stationery and a "Reserved" sign to leave on one's seat when one was elsewhere. It was the sort of facility that one finds in good quality hotel rooms nowadays and tries not to walk off with entirely rather than just using what one needs. The book had stiff art paper pages and was ring bound, far superior to a modern in flight magazine. I think it even had a sick bag included. It was from another world from the one that I lived in.

A little while ago, while researching some local history about a Victorian family here in Kent I discovered that they had corresponded with people in Adelaide, which had only been founded a few years earlier. In those days mail travelled by sailing ship and took three to four _months_ each way, so the Internet has speeded up the process a lot. However, I wondered when it became possible to send telegrams between Britain and Australia and in fact that happened a bit later in the nineteenth century. The telegraph cable system supporting the British Empire was extensive. I think the ones to India went around the Cape of Good Hope and from there messages could be relayed onwards to Australia, so there were faster ways of communicating than airmail around even then.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Telegrams were for the rich, and you didn't get much in. There was very thin airmail stationary for regular letters, but airletters were a single sheet with glue along three edges so it could be folded and stuck, and I think went for a special cheap price. I think there is one in my father's stamp collection, I am not getting it out now to check,that is burned along one edge, next to  it he has the envelope it arrived in, explaining that it had been rescued from an air crash.


----------



## bobo




----------



## escorial

When a solid stiff turd becomes a distant memory...


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> When a solid stiff turd becomes a distant memory...



Take it from  me; that is diet, not age.


----------



## escorial

Does that cause floaters too


----------



## dither

I find myself thinking about when I retire and how I might like to while away the hours pottering about in the garden. I don't do gardening, well, that is to say that I never did, but...

And I really don't/wouldn't want to be breaking my back turning soil.

POTS... Lots of pots, overflowing with colour and gravel, lots of gravel, no digging for this old boy.

I might even, finally, have my very own Sweet pea covered fence.

There is probably much for me to learn but hey! What the hell.

Just dithering.


----------



## Olly Buckle

You know you are getting old when you tell jokes like 'Why are good gardeners like Father Christmas? They both go Ho, Ho, Ho.' (hoe, hoe, hoe)' Never touch digging implements except for the occasional deep rooted dandelion or dock, if people ask shake your head and mutter things about 'Disturbing the structure of the soil.' I know people who will not even dig up those deep rooted weeds, 'They draw the nutrients up from deep in the ground, hoe the leaves off and work them into the tilth.'


----------



## bobo




----------



## midnightpoet

I can relate to that; many people seem to think they are required by law under pain of death if they don't answer their phone.


----------



## Kevin

I don't answer texts unless I feel like it. Or unless I might get fired. Unless I can lie and say I didn't recieve it because of the area. Or unless I think they'll  never ask. My texts often go unanswered, so why not? Sometimes I get "GFY ( great food yo?)" in reply, so I use that a lot now, too.


----------



## escorial

when your riding around the city on a 1970's bus an enjoying yourself


----------



## dither

escorial said:


> when your riding around the city on a 1970's bus an enjoying yourself




Sounds good t'me.


----------



## Kevin

Does it say : if this van's a rockin', don't bother knockin'? Or: "Do it in a bus" ?  They were so sexual back then. Sex sex sex. Not like now. I'm thinking of amputating my toxic masculinity... for the good of.... Genderless kind. Test tube procreation: it 's the future. Now that is a bumper sticker:  "Amputate your toxic masculinity"


----------



## escorial

were does that bus stop K...


----------



## Kevin

Stops about 1977 I guess, right around Saturday Night Fever


----------



## escorial

will you be on it...


----------



## Kevin

Only if I can find my polyester suit and platforms

wide lapels, bell- bottoms. "Ah ah ah ah..."


----------



## dither

Kevin said:


> Only if I can find my polyester suit and platforms
> 
> wide lapels, bell- bottoms. "Ah ah ah ah..."



Jeez Kevin,
that takes me back.


----------



## Kevin

dither said:


> Jeez Kevin,
> that takes me back.


 That year I had to take off my YES belt buckle.


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

*When did you last turn out the garage?*

Rob found a draw in the back of the garage with a mouse nest in the corner, underneath it this sheet of newspaper was almost undamaged, 1977 it dates from!


----------



## Winston

Your "My Pictures" screensaver has more pictures of dead people than live ones.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Kevin said:


> Only if I can find my polyester suit and platforms
> 
> wide lapels, bell- bottoms. "Ah ah ah ah..."



26ounce cotton jeans, a black velvet jacket, a white silk scarf and bike ready, no helmets.


----------



## escorial

when you wear a coat on a sunny day....


----------



## escorial

when someone decides they think they should correct a spelling that one is just fine with..change your back to it's original wording..not a request a demand..asap


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

When a lot of the people in the obituary column are younger than you!


----------



## TuesdayEve

You know you’re getting old when returning to your
car after shopping and find the keys inside and running


----------



## dither

Eve,

I once caught a bus out of town and as the bus joined a busy dual-carriageway we saw a small car go past us with a hand-bag perched on a rear bumper. I often wonder if it stayed there until the lady arrived at her destination and if so, how she must have felt.

True story.


----------



## Olly Buckle

... when you consult the calendar every morning.


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

*Your photos are black and white*

Still have the frock but the only photos of me in it are black and white.


----------



## TuesdayEve

Oh look how cute you are! When was this? 

You know your getting old when you come out of a 
restaurant and discover, once again, you’ve left your
keys in the car, however, not running. Yay for that.


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

TuesdayEve said:


> Oh look how cute you are! When was this?
> 
> You know your getting old when you come out of a
> restaurant and discover, once again, you’ve left your
> keys in the car, however, not running. Yay for that.



Thanks, it was an awfully long time ago, from the hair I’d guess mid to late 70s.

Obviously your car doesn’t have the ‘Nannying computer’  to stop you doing anything it doesn’t approve of, mine beeps alarmingly if the drivers door is opened while the keys are still in the ignition.


----------



## dither

Y'know? It's funny how , as I get older, and maybe it's just me,  where once I might have thought about how nice it might be to have someone to sleep with, I find myself thinking how nice it might be to have someone to wake up with.
How time changes things.


----------



## JustRob

BlondeAverageReader said:


> Still have the frock but the only photos of me in it are black and white.
> 
> View attachment 22071​
> View attachment 22072​


​ Just as well considering the psychedelic bright orange wallpaper behind you that we put up in the living room then, but it was the seventies as you say.



dither said:


> Y'know? It's funny how , as I get older, and maybe it's just me,  where once I might have thought about how nice it might be to have someone to sleep with, I find myself thinking how nice it might be to have someone to wake up with.
> How time changes things.



Our bed is wider than back in the seventies but when I reach out in the morning I discover that she's still there, that girl in the photo, ... and she still has that frock, so she says, ... and I don't feel any older at all ... and I do still have a camera ...


----------



## dither

JustRob said:


> ​
> 
> 
> 
> when I reach out in the morning I discover that she's still there, ...



Someone to turn to. JR you're a lucky man.


----------



## JustRob

dither said:


> Someone to turn to. JR you're a lucky man.



I assure you that I am constantly aware of that. The challenge in life isn't just to find your angel but to recognise when you have.


----------



## PiP




----------



## H.Brown

PiP said:


>


Hahaha Pip I want this to be me too.


----------



## TuesdayEve

I feel like that now, gonna check out that magazine too.


----------



## dither

She looks a feisty old bird.


----------



## TuesdayEve

You know yur getting old when the young woman in you 
is still attracted to good looking younger men and they
treat you like their mom....that’s painful.


----------



## dither

Lol!
I find that young women let me go first at the bus stop nowadays. Haven't had one offer me her seat yet though. I sometimes feel like rent a "grand-dad" and they seem to be more comfortable with me like I'm no threat to them.


----------



## Olly Buckle

I do get the seat offered, and I know what you mean about 'more comfortable'. I think 'no threat to them' is putting it a bit strongly, I don't think I was ever a threat, but quite often one or the other of us had an agenda that doesn't exist now.


When they are talking 'record temperatures' on the weather forecast and I have to go look at the thermometer to see what 45-48 is in 'real money'.


----------



## dither

What I suppose I meant was, there isn't that sex nonsense going on. None  of the misunderstandings of signals.


----------



## JustRob

dither said:


> Lol!
> I find that young women let me go first at the bus stop nowadays. Haven't had one offer me her seat yet though. I sometimes feel like rent a "grand-dad" and they seem to be more comfortable with me like I'm no threat to them.



Perhaps I should repeat my story about the young man who offered me his seat on the tube some time ago. I didn't really want to take it but he insisted so I sat down and he stood in front of me. I mentioned that sometimes I was grateful to sit down because I was 73. He told me that I looked good for my age, so I asked him why in that case he had offered me his seat and he just laughed. Don't save all the good thoughts to write on this site but share them around in real life. It helps the world go round.



Olly Buckle said:


> When they are talking 'record temperatures' on the weather forecast and I have to go look at the thermometer to see what 45-48 is in 'real money'.



We're from the same generation, so my angel was doing exactly the same earlier today. Anyway, I thought that a 45 was just a single but this spell of weather appears to be a long player. You know you're getting old when you can understand that joke.


----------



## midnightpoet

Bought a wheelchair for my wife recently, she's still weak from the past few years of illness.  She still gripes that she couldn't possibly be 72, seems like just the other day she was 60 (cough) - but she appreciates the ride.  The other day I was sitting on a Walmart bench when a lady came by - we were talking and she asked my age.  I told her 74, she said I didn't look it.  My wife didn't need the chair that day, she was motoring around in one of those electric carts they keep for the disabled.  Usually some um, older guy shares the bench and we pontificate on how the younger generation is going to the dogs and other subjects of interest (no politics or religion though).


----------



## Underd0g

Olly Buckle said:


> When they are talking 'record temperatures' on the weather forecast and I have to go look at the thermometer to see what 45-48 is in 'real money'.




Yeah, I Googled that but couldn't find a reference...




JustRob said:


> We're from the same generation, so my angel was doing exactly the same earlier today. Anyway, I thought that a 45 was just a single but this spell of weather appears to be a long player. You know you're getting old when you can understand that joke.



And Rob, I resent that you seem to imply that I'm not old, but I do want to know the backstory for this joke. Explanation please anyone?


----------



## bobo

Sorry, but what is this '45-48' ?? - in which unit ??
Here we have 40°C.


----------



## dither

Jeez bobo that's hot.


----------



## dither

Underd0g said:


> Yeah, I Googled that but couldn't find a reference...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> And Rob, I resent that you seem to imply that I'm not old, but I do want to know the backstory for this joke. Explanation please anyone?




Underd0g,
do you really not "get" that?

It's Vinyl, music, records, isn't it.
It really does seem a lifetime ago now.
45 was a three minute player. Like how sex used to be  on a GOOD  day. Short and sweet.
And LPs ( long players ) just went on and on. Five/six tracks or whatever.


----------



## JustRob

dither said:


> Underd0g,
> do you really not "get" that?
> 
> It's Vinyl, music, records, isn't it.
> It really does seem a lifetime ago now.
> 45 was a three minute player. Like how sex used to be  on a GOOD  day. Short and sweet.
> And LPs ( long players ) just went on and on. Five/six tracks or whatever.



Thanks Dither. I'm glad that someone got it. Single track records were small and had to rotate at 45rpm to get the right pitch but multi-track long players were larger and did so at 33⅓rpm to give a longer playing time. The original shellac records rotated at 78rpm on a clockwork gramophone to provide enough physical power to play the music through the sound box or trumpet without any electronic amplification. Hence records were called 78's, 45's and LP's to distinguish the different types. Record player turntables had a lever to set the correct speed for each type.

When we were on holiday on the Isles of Scilly a long time back I realised that we had been married for thirty-three years four months, so we celebrated our "long playing" marriage then.


----------



## SilverMoon

You know you're getting older when your biography is released:


----------



## Olly Buckle

People of the post vinyl age do not understand the punch line about the announcement on the first fully automatic flight either, "Do not worry, nothing can go wrong, click … go wrong, click … go wrong..."


----------



## Robbie

And interestingly vinyl has come back with young people. http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-sax-analog-nostalgia-20160103-story.html


----------



## Winston

Robbie said:


> And interestingly vinyl has come back with young people. http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-sax-analog-nostalgia-20160103-story.html



My daughter has been buying some new music on wax.  She's even listened to some of my old records.  Funny, after a listen she developed a taste for that 70's rock band U.F.O.
You're old if you remember them.


----------



## JustRob

When you can watch 3D TV for hours without getting a headache. Yes folks, there's actually a _benefit_ to getting old and it's a scientific fact, so here's the science.

The human eye has two mechanisms involved in adjusting to see things at different distances. One is _accommodation_, which is the ability of the cornea to alter its focal length to put the image on the retina in focus, and the other is _convergence_, which is the way that the two eyes turn inwards to observe things that are closer. 3D TV creates the three-dimensional effect by offsetting the images of objects seen by the eyes sideways by varying amounts to force the eyes to converge by the appropriate amount for the distance of each object. However, all the objects are on the TV screen, so the eyes must focus at the same distance for all of them. In normal circumstances the eyes automatically adjust their focus to correspond to the amount that they are converging to look at closer objects, but with a 3D TV image this would result in the screen being out of focus, so the eyes are forced to do something unnatural and focus in a way that doesn't correspond to the convergence. After doing this for some time eyestrain and headaches are likely to occur.

The good news for older people is that their eyes lose the ability to accommodate to focus at varying distances, so we have to wear glasses to cover each range of distances. As a result our eyes don't change focus when they converge, so we don't get eyestrain or headaches from 3D TV.

  My angel and I have the complete set of high definition 3D films of _The Hobbit_, so even though they may be aimed at younger viewers we can watch them right through without any problems and can sit as close to the screen as we like to do it while they can't. Oh, how wonderful it is to be old!


----------



## Olly Buckle

when you remember that old escort estate car that needed the points adjusting all the time, and someone asks 'What are points?'


----------



## bazz cargo

I know I'm old but I still think young. That is an interesting thing. I read the posts on WF and the minds that produce them have no age differential. 
Respect to the Members.


----------



## NathanLyle

nothing makes me feel old quit like hanging out with people younger than me. That's why all my friends are older than me.


----------



## Olly Buckle

NathanLyle said:


> nothing makes me feel old quit like hanging out with people younger than me. That's why all my friends are older than me.



Strange, I am the opposite, most of my friends are younger than me, and with people my age they are always on about old people things, like being ill or remembering deceased mutual friends.


Do you remember when you could remember all the important phone numbers because phones had no memory?


----------



## NathanLyle

No. I grew up with phones that had call logs. But I do remember land lines and those big phone books being left on the doorstep. kids these days don't know about the yellow pages and the white pages.


----------



## dither

I miss the yellow pages.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Bet the last ones wouldn't be hard to tear in half. Remember the bloke on Tower hill who tore a phone book in half, and the escapologist wrapped in chains? A bit more entertaining than 'living statues'.


----------



## dither

I seem to have become very politics orientated as I've aged. I buy a newspaper every day and after having skimmed through the headlines of every page only two things seem to hold my attention nowadays. Politics, probably because of this "brexit" business and football. Oh I've always had a slight interest in the footie but I'm more interested in the behind the scenes stuff. The fallings out, the transfers, and the gossip.


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> Do you remember when you could remember all the important phone numbers because phones had no memory?



You mean like the phone number for my grandparent's house? Even though both of 'em have been dead for quite some time now, and that number hasn't been theirs for more than 30 years?

226-2039

Just don't ask me what my own number is... I'd have to look at my phone if I were inclined to tell ya.


G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Of course you would, Guard Dog. Nobody knows their own number, they never call it, well, no normal people, there are always exceptions.


----------



## Plasticweld

Back in the old days in Maine, we had a party line and when you made a phone call the operator would come on and ask your number so they knew who to bill the call to. 


In a sing song voice, "563   38 21" That was 37 years ago


All of my phone numbers today are listed first name first, then an initial.  If your well know or real important, last name and the town you live in and then a letter which designates who or what you are.  Each customer gets an abbreviation depending on which business of mine they are involved with or are what type of customers they are.  I  have almost 500 names in my directory of my now ancient flip phone. 

I like the cell phone, my ringer is never on and I check messages or return phone calls when I have a spare minute. It is almost impossible to ever get me to actually answer the phone. 

While some let the phone rule their life, I make a point of making it my servant and help mate.   It might just be an old guy thing.


----------



## Kevin

Back in the old days we had ancient intercom systems from the earlier sixties built into the house that didn't work anymore. We used to climb down the manholes into the storm drains on the rebar ladder rungs, and we had elephant grass in the backyards. Every square mile on street corners they had air raid sirens up on metal poles that did work and they ran them every first Saturday for about 30 seconds. They sounded just like this: https://youtu.be/2_XQ5ITv7p0


----------



## Guard Dog

Plasticweld said:


> In a sing song voice, "563   38 21" That was 37 years ago



Aw, hell... ya had to go and say "sing song" and then give a phone number...

867-5309

And that was 37 years ago too. :icon_frown:

Funny thing... Tommy Tutone ( Tommy Heath ) used to live not far from me.
Seems he got out of music and became a school teacher, at a school in Nashville.
He's probably also long-retired now.

Talk about feelin' old... *shakes head*



G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you remember the first time you took a girl to the cinema, and it was to see Cliff Richard in Summer Holiday, first time round


----------



## Guard Dog

Can't top that one, Olly, since the movie came out the year I was born...

But how 'bout this:

Somebody says "Tarzan", and you immediately think "Johnny Weissmuller"? ( Ron Ely runs a close second. )

Or you hear the William Tell Overture and think "Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels"?




G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Someone who doesn't think of The Lone Ranger when they hear the William Tell Overture? That is the definition of an intellectual round here


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> Someone who doesn't think of The Lone Ranger when they hear the William Tell Overture? That is the definition of an intellectual round here



Well I sort'a did. Think of the Lone Ranger... Especially since the two gents I mentioned played the parts of The Lone Ranger and Tonto longer than anybody. They were also my first exposure to those characters as well.

...and right after their names cross my mind, I start having an urge to shoot an apple off of somebody's head with a bow and arrow. ;-)



G.D.


----------



## Guard Dog

Speaking of getting old, and odd things you remember...

Am I the only one that thought Ed Sullivan and Richard M. Nixon looked way too much alike?

When I was 4 or 5, any time Nixon would come on the TV, I'd sit and watch a minute or two, just in case any dancing bears or jugglers showed up.

...but all I ever got was one jackass after the other.

And not the first one of 'em was Francis the talking mule.

Pissed me off, I tell ya. :livid:




G.D.


----------



## TuesdayEve

Charlie Chan was always one my favorite childhood
heros. Smart, wise with a humorous twist...always
kept me glued to the TV.


----------



## dither

Olly Buckle said:


> Someone who doesn't think of The Lone Ranger when they hear the William Tell Overture? That is the definition of an intellectual round here



Lol! Got THAT Tshirt. :tongue:


----------



## dither

Olly Buckle said:


> When you remember the first time you took a girl to the cinema, and it was to see Cliff Richard in Summer Holiday, first time round



Jeez, I saw that one at my local cinema. No girl though.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you remember the pain of heading a wet, leather, football, or remember coming to after it.

Listening to the Goon Show on the radio first time round

Post war army surplus stores with tents and sheepskin mitts

Reading the 'Swallows and Amazons' series

playing on disused allotments

a horse drawn milk cart, it had rubber tyres, unlike the rag and bone man's


----------



## escorial

When you start taking notice of the budget


----------



## JustRob

*Words worthy of senility*

I wandered ... oh er ... hills? ... I saw ... um ... golden ... ? ... ah yes ... daffodils!


----------



## Guard Dog

I meant to post this, back during the movie and theater part of the discussion...

It's the old Inglewood Theater, that was about 2 blocks or so from my grandparent's house.
I saw many a movie there, including 2001: A space Odyssey, when it first came out.


The picture here was taken just before it opened, and a while before I was born.
I knew I was getting ( had gotten? ) old when they tore it down, a dozen or so years back, to build a pharmacy.



G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When I was sixteen We moved to Harlow New Town. Now it is just called Harlow.


----------



## escorial

when I was sixteen
we moved to Harlow New Town
Now it's just called Harlow

Bee bop allulla
Rama damma ding dong

More lyrics Olly


----------



## Kevin

I'm still blown away the had horse'n'buggy delivery. Are you sure that was the twentieth century?


----------



## Guard Dog

Kevin said:


> I'm still blown away the had horse'n'buggy delivery. Are you sure that was the twentieth century?



Kevin, you could still find milk being delivered by horse and buggy in places here in Tennessee all the way up through the 1950s.

As a matter of fact, we had milk delivered ( By a truck though ) by the local dairy, W.E. Davis and sons, in the early 1970s.




G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

I remember watching out of the window as the milkman's horse mounted the pavement and ate the hedge opposite.


----------



## Kevin

They've built tract homes over the dairy farms here. I don't know where our milk comes from. We don't drink it anymore. I still eat cheese and yogurt. Sort of going out of fashion, I think. They really pushed us to drink a lot of milk when I was a kid.


----------



## Olly Buckle

They have built over the United dairy in Streatham Vale where I worked as a milkman for a while. People drive to the supermarket and buy milk in plastic now instead of having it delivered by electric milk float in re-usable glass bottles which were re-cycled when they got chipped and reached the end of their life. This is called 'Progress'.


----------



## Guard Dog

Okay... I ran into something on YouTube, during one of my regular forages for videos of music I usually listen to, that I started to post there on the music thread. But feelin' like I might've inflicted myself on the folks there enough for one day, I started thinkin' about where in might fit better.

Due to comments about Trump, politics, etc. I saw and made there my last visit, I considered the "How'd your day go" thread, along with a few comments about what I see, as far as differences and similarities between the time what I'm about to post was made, and now... And that's when it occurred to me that the folks here might appreciate it a bit more than any youngsters would. Or at very least, possibly remember it.

So, here ya go: The Hillside Singers, I'd like to teach the world to sing, which was done in late 1971 or early '72, as best I remember

Now, for anyone younger than 40 or so that happen to stick their heads in here, and have no clue as to what the hell that is, or where it came from, I'll give a little history lesson:

That song came out, and did quite well at the time and date I mentioned. The U.S. involvement in the Viet Nam war was coming to a close, as was the "hippy movement", and the "Disco Decade" was just gettin' stared. But the Peace Movement was still in full swing, and had been for quite a while.

And that particular song actually started off as this, a half a year back or so: 
Coca Cola Commercial - I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony) - 1971

It was re-recorded a few months later in the full-length version I posted first, re-written without the Coke references.

Then later, in 1991 or so, Coke gave us a little update on some of the folks from the first version, with this:
Coke Cola Hill Top Reunion TV advert


Now that I've reviewed the history of it all, for anybody that gives a damn ( and those that don't ), I'll give my thoughts and observations on the subject.

One, the "Social Justice Warriors" are dead wrong if they think they're the first ones to be worried about how folks have and are being treated. That's concern and battle that's been goin' on for a very long time. And yeah, I vividly remember the marches, protests, and all sorts of other shenanigans that people got up to back then, in an effort to make a difference. Even had a pharmacy blown up right across the street from us during a short time we lived in Michigan when I was little, during Martin Luther King jr.'s time. And remember the crap one of my uncles had to endure when he got back home from that little go-'round in S.E. Asia, in 1968, when folks wanted to call him a "baby-killer" and all sorts of other unpleasant and undeserved things when he got off the plane.

Now, all of that was 40 or 50 years ago. And I'm still seeing the same sort of stuff, but without any Coke commercials suggesting people knock it off and try harder to get along.

Instead, we've got a bunch of idiots runnin' around, runnin' off at the mouth, and generally just keepin' things stirred up or making them worse while claiming they just want to make it all better.

So I guess the moral of the story, and my final observation is... Some folks are bound and determined that they're gonna get their idea of a "peaceful perfect world", no matter how long they have to fight and act a fool, or who they have to wage war against.

Me? I'm gonna have a Coke... with plenty of bourbon in it. And evidently watch people not learn a damn thing from what's already come before.

Anyway, cheers to my fellow old farts. Maybe somebody'll come along and finally get it right, one'a these days. :drunk:


G.D.

P.S.  If you're wondering what brought this on, just me finding something unexpected, "remembering when", and trying to do something at least interesting/entertaining with it rather than just forgetting it again and moving on.


----------



## Winston

> One, the "Social Justice Warriors" are dead wrong if they think they're the first ones to be worried about how folks have and are being treated. That's concern and battle that's been goin' on for a very long time.



GD, that is another "red flag" that you know you're getting old.  When you see the cycles of history that young folks think they invented.
How many modern Feminists can tell you what the ERA was, and who Mondale's running mate was in 1984?  Better yet, what is a suffragette?  Emotion without knowledge, anger without focus.  This is the world of young adult radicals today.  
I'm a tactics guy, and seeing young people interested in reform, but making the same stupid mistakes time after time?  That nuts me up.
Enjoy your Coke.


----------



## Guard Dog

Winston said:


> ...Emotion without knowledge, anger without focus.  This is the world of young adult radicals today.



The thing that gets me, is certain of 'em claiming they want equality, when it's obvious what they're really after is unearned superiority.



Winston said:


> Enjoy your Coke.



Oh I did. 'Bout 3 of 'em. Then slept like the dead for about 6 hours, due to the alcohol turning off most of the nerve pain for a while.

Can't do that too often though, or it quits having so much of the desired effect, and starts having some unpleasant ones.


G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

… you remember struggling with a typewriter. Remember, upper case lower case, one size, one font, no italics, no correcting, except tippex that didn't really work, no editing and sheets of smudgy carbon paper if you wanted an extra copy, and the one I had as a small boy was 'passed down' and weighed a ton. Oh, and the keys jammed together if you got it wrong. Thank goodness for word processing.


----------



## escorial

Olly Buckle said:


> They have built over the United dairy in Streatham Vale where I worked as a milkman for a while. People drive to the supermarket and buy milk in plastic now instead of having it delivered by electric milk float in re-usable glass bottles which were re-cycled when they got chipped and reached the end of their life. This is called 'Progress'.



were you one of those 70's milkman who left little pint pots walking around the council estates with no one to call dad.....i asked my mum once why are old neighbours get their milk in different bottles..steri... its for their tea


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> … you remember struggling with a typewriter. Remember, upper case lower case, one size, one font, no italics, no correcting, except tippex that didn't really work, no editing and sheets of smudgy carbon paper if you wanted an extra copy, and the one I had as a small boy was 'passed down' and weighed a ton. Oh, and the keys jammed together if you got it wrong. Thank goodness for word processing.



Yep, that's me. Learned to type on an old portable I was given, and with my wife's old typing books. Went straight from that to a computer, the next year, when I went back to school.




G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> were you one of those 70's milkman who left little pint pots walking around the council estates with no one to call dad.....i asked my mum once why are old neighbours get their milk in different bottles..steri... its for their tea



About 1978 or 9, sterilised milk is safer than pasteurised if the conditions are not spot on. You would find older people who had grown up with small independent dairies, or people from hot climates where things go off really easily had a taste for it, personally I rather like the taste, reminds me of evaporated milk, I suppose they are both heated more than pasteurised. Recently I have 'discovered' light evaporated milk, made from skimmed milk, I am on prednisolone so it helps with calcium and added D3  where the steroids eat away at the bones, that's my excuse.   Now, if that 'aint proper old man stuff I don't know ... 

And no, I didn't play away, not my style.


----------



## escorial

man i would so like to see a pic of you on a float..have you got one..post it!!!!.....peoples lives are captured so much and all i seem to have is old holiday snaps and family gatherings but very little of the day to day stuff..i would luv a pic of me sitting at breakfast with the milk bottles on the table....as a kid


----------



## Olly Buckle

Never got into cameras, there are very few pictures of me at all.


----------



## escorial

and now when you step outside it ain't long before your image is captured.............


----------



## Olly Buckle

In the words of the song, 'It wasn't me, must have been some other brother, no no no it wasn't me'. I was somewhere completely different doing something else, I have witnesses.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iqdc5EQvKt0


----------



## escorial

your mobile knows


----------



## ChloeRose

Olly Buckle said:


> … you remember struggling with a typewriter. Remember, upper case lower case, one size, one font, no italics, no correcting, except tippex that didn't really work, no editing and sheets of smudgy carbon paper if you wanted an extra copy, and the one I had as a small boy was 'passed down' and weighed a ton. Oh, and the keys jammed together if you got it wrong. Thank goodness for word processing.


Just thinking about that makes me anxious again.....trying to use the white correction fluid....such a nightmare. To teens like my son nowadays that would seem like prehistoric designed torture. In fact to me it sounds like prehistoric torture. Very good description of that mess of a process.


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> and now when you step outside it ain't long before your image is captured.............



All the more reason to live out in the woods.

Even the best of spy satellites won't get more than the roof of my house and the top of my hat... and that only in the winter when the leaves are off the trees.





G.D.


----------



## escorial

I would luv to go of grid but my survival skills are limited without a cash machine...


----------



## Kevin

I'm selling a line of off-the-grid headgear; hats :_ Alluminati-hidami
_The design-style is inspired by origami, and the material is...


----------



## escorial

When building nuclear bunkers was a viable buisness


----------



## ChloeRose

You know those tvs they now have at gas stations? The advertisers who run those ads track your next purchases using your debit card to buy gas to find out if if they're advertising worked. Then they can do more targeted advertising. I'd heard the story on NPR. It's not the government who cares what you buy at Walmart, etc., but the ad executives.


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> I would luv to go of grid but my survival skills are limited without a cash machine...



That's funny... Because my survival skills would be greatly increased without cash machines... or even cash.

Put me in a world where what I know or can do gets me by, instead of how much I have in my checking account, and I'd be fairly well-off in no time. 

...of course, most other people alive right now ( at least here in the U.S. ) would starve to death. But who's fault is that?

And for what it's worth, I'm not actually off the grid. I'm just out on the edge of it, where most people find it too inconvenient to live. 
( There's just something about having to travel a dozen miles to get to _much of anything_ that puts most people off. )



G.D.


----------



## escorial

I live near the coast and surrounded by farmland but I still go the supermarket...I would have to treck a few miles for a McDonald....


----------



## midnightpoet

Wouldn't mind living off the grid as long as I had plenty of money, although I'm pretty close to it in a small country town 40 miles from anything much.  I'll admit I have no outdoor skills, sometimes it's a matter of choice.


----------



## Guard Dog

midnightpoet said:


> Wouldn't mind living off the grid as long as I had plenty of money...



Um... if you're off the grid, what good's the money? It's not like it makes good toilet paper, or much of anything you can really use without a place to spend it.

( You know you've *gotten* old when you start arguing that money is actually useless... )



G.D.


----------



## midnightpoet

It costs money to build a house that I'd live in, to make sure I had all the comforts, to buy food to eat and have it delivered. I'm not a hunter, not a fisherman,  and I'm not going to learn.  Don't make erroneous assumptions based on insufficient data.   I've seen those off the grid shows in Alaska, can't live like that.  I don't criticize others choice of lifestyle, though.


----------



## Olly Buckle

You know your getting old when you find you don't have to work all hours to keep a family, they grew up and are keeping themselves, and the liberated missus has a little part time job, all the stuff you need like saucepans and bed clothes you have, and you seem to live on almost nothing


----------



## escorial

Would you consider adopting a middle aged teenager..


----------



## Plasticweld

Linda and I went to dinner this evening at a local bar. 

We sat and chatted away when Linda stopped mid sentence, "What a shame it is to see those young girls smoking." 

 It took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about.  All I saw were a couple of women in their mid to late forties smoking. 

 "Do you mean those women there?" I ask. 
 "Yes." she says. 
 "You do realize how old they are right?"  
"well their a lot younger than we are." 

I think anytime you call someone in their mid forties, young girls, you qualify for being old.


----------



## Guard Dog

midnightpoet said:


> It costs money to build a house that I'd live in, to make sure I had all the comforts, to buy food to eat and have it delivered. I'm not a hunter, not a fisherman,  and I'm not going to learn.  Don't make erroneous assumptions based on insufficient data.   I've seen those off the grid shows in Alaska, can't live like that.  I don't criticize others choice of lifestyle, though.



You're not talking about living off the grid, what you're describing is living on the fringes of it and maintaining your comfort, similar to the way I do.

Also, those idiotic "reality" tv shows are entertainment only. They are no real example of of what they're claiming to represent.

And lastly, I never assumed anything, nor suggested you do anything. I just asked what good you thought money would be in a particular situating. One where a person was truly away from the usual support system people rely on these days.

The answer by the way, is "none", if you are truly and completely off the grid. Because the minute you step into a store, or buy something from any one or any group, you're getting back on it to at least a small degree. In fact, getting back into a situation where you could be identified and tracked puts you back there as well. 

Society is "the grid", not simply the power co., water co. or other utilities.



G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

No, the grid is made up of the lines of latitude and longitude, only astronauts live off the grid


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> No, the grid is made up of the lines of latitude and longitude, only astronauts live off the grid



Yeah, but they've gotta come down sooner or later, since that's one grid nobody can survive being off of for long. ;-)

By the way... I've always wondered why it's called the electrical grid, when it actually has more  in common with a tree, appearance wise, than any sort of grid.



G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Guard Dog said:


> By the way... I've always wondered why it's called the electrical grid, when it actually has more  in common with a tree, appearance wise, than any sort of grid.
> G.D.


 Only the final distribution, the power stations are connected gridwise so they can support each other.


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> Only the final distribution, the power stations are connected gridwise so they can support each other.



Olly, my first job out of college was working for a civil engineering firm, and mapping the entire electrical grid here in Tennessee.
( There was a lot less of it, back in 1988 )

Lines, sub stations, and every damned transformer, fuse, and circuit breaker in the system. It all got put on the maps/blueprints.

The substations may be set up in a grid pattern, as far as the circuit goes, but the map of the damn things looks like a tree gone wrong, or Kudzu run amok.
( It looked like vines caught in a dull mower blade after the ice storm we had here in 1993. )

I may still have some of 'em here somewhere... If I run across 'em I'll post 'em.


G.D.


----------



## escorial

No...I'll have to put me Sam fox posters back on me bedroom wall now...


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> No...I'll have to put me Sam fox posters back on me bedroom wall now...



This Sam Fox?




She's only 3 years younger than I am, so you'd better find one'a her old posters...

...'cause anything current is just gonna be depressing.




G.D.


----------



## escorial

Yep...singer songwriter with a couple of big hits


----------



## Olly Buckle

Typo, you got an h.


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> Typo, you got an h.



Her hits aren't that great. Neither is her hass. 

...her face is pretty though.

:icon_cheesygrin:


G.D.


----------



## escorial

Touch me was a classic


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> Touch me was a classic



I remember the song...

I always like Joan Jett's "Do You Wanna Touch Me" better though. 

And Joan too, for that matter. Especially after that little high-dive off a building in her underwear,  in the old "Highlander" TV series.

Didn't even matter that she's a lesbian... Still had a great figure. ( Wasn't at her best in that video though...)


G.D.


----------



## escorial

There is a monument for her in Serbia..says it all


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> There is a monument for her in Serbia..says it all



It does indeed.

But probably more about Serbians than her, if the truth is told. :lol:

Hell, the Saudis granted a robot citizenship.  Does that really say much about robots?  Think about it.

Sorry... I don't pay much attention to monuments. idols, or statues. The people that make 'em and put 'em up? They're worth keepin' an eye on and watching very carefully.

( Lenin hasn't been much of a concern in quite some time now, for instance. The Russian government, on the other hand... )
( And then there's the people in D.C... )


G.D.


----------



## escorial

When you think about buying slipper socks


----------



## Guard Dog

When you think about moving somewhere that doesn't have winter, or cold weather of any kind.




G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Guard Dog said:


> When you think about moving somewhere that doesn't have winter, or cold weather of any kind.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> G.D.



…, but still has good hospitals.


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> …, but still has good hospitals.



Hell, I don't even care about the hospitals. As long as they don't specialize in treating hypothermia, I'm good.





G.D.


----------



## escorial

When you buy a tin of cat food an haven't got a pussy


----------



## dither

Guard Dog said:


> When you think about moving somewhere that doesn't have winter, or cold weather of any kind.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> G.D.



I'm no sun-worshiper but it would nice to go somewhere warm if only to see out the winter months.


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> When you buy a tin of cat food an haven't got a pussy



It's worse when you've run all the bitches off, but still have to buy dog food...




G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Guard Dog said:


> Hell, I don't even care about the hospitals. As long as they don't specialize in treating hypothermia, I'm good.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> G.D.



Young Man's talk   Only kidding, I remember Sewell Harris who used to run a community centre in Harlow, In his late eighties and went everywhere on his bike. My mother who was in her sixties at the time once asked him if he didn't feel his age, he replied, "Yes sometimes when I get an emergency call from the centre I find I can't run all the way there and have to trot some of it". Wish I could still run two hundred yards, most of us feel it.


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> Young Man's talk



Nope. It's the kind'a talk ya get from someone who has an ailment that, after years of seeing doctors, finally got tired of hearing them say "sorry, can't fix it. You'll just have to learn to live with it."

Also, I always tell people that if trouble comes my way, I will stand and fight, but it sure as hell ain't bravery if ya just can't run away.



G.D.


----------



## TuesdayEve

You know you’re getting old when your lady-like 
sublties goes right out the window while protesting 
a point to the manager in the grocery store...
and you don’t care how loud you get! 
Liberating!


----------



## dither

Speaking from personal experience there Eve?


----------



## Underd0g

Facebook a couple weeks ago... 

A niece of mine went through a grocery checkout. 
(18 yr old male cashier): "Anything interesting happening today?"  
(Niece): "Waiting for the weather to change, same ol' same ol'." 
(cashier) "Yeah, I heard there's not much interesting to talk about when you get old." 
The kid's my hero and my niece and her friends talked about him like he was disrespectful.


----------



## escorial

I never go on that facetube


----------



## TuesdayEve

Yes dither, I was the protester, an actual event of 
my day....but I ALWAYS mention whenever protesting,
 “I know it’s not you, but please pass this on to the big 
muck-ety mucks who make the decisions...and please 
express my enthusiasm too”

Today, so far, lotz of snow yesterday and overnite
Snow day!! No school...and cozy.


----------



## Guard Dog

TuesdayEve said:


> Today, so far, lotz of snow yesterday and overnite
> Snow day!! No school...and cozy.



I thought you flatlanders were adverse to taking snow days? Would go even if you had to burrow tunnels through the snow drifts?

( My mother was raised in Michigan... Used to talk about the 8-foot snowdrifts that would blow back and forth across they yards and that blocked the entrance to the school on a couple of occasions. )

Me? I got no use for that particular variety of frozen hell. Give me this any day:

[video=youtube;WXB4LspLQE0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXB4LspLQE0[/video]

In case the vid don't play:

 Kokomo


G.D.


----------



## dither

Brrr!

I hate that stuff.


----------



## TuesdayEve

Today is better. It’s cold but the snow has settled, the
roads are clear, yet there still people without power and
many felled trees blocking side streets and driveways 
causing delays and backups in a bus drivers 
routine. 

Yes, love to look at the snow...its peaceful and snowy 
white beautiful. But I got alot accomplished yesterday,
cooked a turkey breast, shoveled and salted the front 
and side of the house, my neighbor did the back, we 
shared doing the cars and later,  I ran some errands 
around town and got paid for the day.
The heavy snow gave me a good workout. I loved it! 
There’s a distinct difference between working out 
and physical work...I’ll take the PW any day.
And with that...am rewarding myself with a little
blueberry cobbler....yummy.
Happy Tuesday everybody!

(oops wrong thread sorry)

You know you’re getting old, (in a good way)
when you appriciate a younger man, in his fifties, 
showing an interest.


----------



## escorial

When the next certificate is a death certificate


----------



## JustRob

escorial said:


> When the next certificate is a death certificate



That's a bit morbid but I know the feeling. Not long ago I discovered that my last good suit didn't fit me any more and I do occasionally need one for a special occasion, so I shelled out for an expensive hand-tailored one to get a decent fit. My one concern then was that the first occasion that I'd get to wear it might be my own funeral. However, I did wear it for a more lively activity, but I felt that the trouser legs were slightly too long, so my angel made a temporary alteration to them for that and later I got the tailor to make it permanent. Having had the suit altered so that it fits really well now I still haven't had another opportunity to wear it, but I'm hopeful. 

A very elderly man in a feeble condition that we knew bought himself a brand new car. The lady living with him at the time couldn't understand why he bothered to buy a new car that he might never be fit enough to drive, but maybe that was because she didn't take the attitude that life goes on until one dies and one shouldn't do too much advance planning for that final event. The sad thing isn't that people deteriorate themselves, which is inevitable, but that they allow their lives and surroundings to do so as well, which often isn't. No matter what its likelihood is, death should always come at an inconvenient time in one's life, an interruption of one's plans. That man left his brand new car to a relative, which actually was part of his plan. There's always someone else to carry on with things where one leaves off, so one should never stop living until it's unavoidable.

You know you're getting old, but you don't make a career out of it.


----------



## dither

Taking pleasure in, acknowledging, _seeing even,_  the little things.
Even now, at the age that I am, I'm in too much of a hurry.
As I walk I marvel at puddles in the roadside, each with the varying types of litter there in. Some organic, some not.
I notice fading yellow lines.
Roads and pathways that look so fresh and new after the rain but mostly the silence, the Sunday silence, as I walk through my estate and out of town to the retail park and the new Aldi store that just opened. That place could, will I think, totally change my weekend shopping.
Anyway,
my walking to and from:
So often I find myself thinking "oh look at that." Not _always_ in admiration. I have imaginary conversations with people who have the potential to impact my day to day one way or another and I so want to put it into words when I get home.
But when I _get _home, nothing. Zilch.

And all because, when I'm out shopping I actually _don't......_dither.
It goes back to my childhood. Doesn't everything? Best not go there, but anyway.... I need to slow down, take time, to pause and ponder, just about everything really.

Life eh?


----------



## Olly Buckle

Slow down, fine, *and take a notebook*, then when you get home you can look at the two words 'Litter, puddle' and you have the basic reminder. (Not that you need it for that one.)


----------



## dither

Mr.Buckle,
When I'm out and about [ sometimes ] it's almost as though I'm talking and commenting as I go. Not out loud of course, just thinking it. Smiling frowning approving dis-approving. I seem to have phases when my mind is constantly whirring.

I really must get that notebook.
You are right about noting key words of course.

Although I don't know if I have the imagination and the vocabulary to tell what I see in those puddles and how I feel about what I see.  And really, it's all, would be , just the ramblings of a silly old fool.

We'll see.


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> Although I don't know if I have the imagination and the vocabulary to tell what I see in those puddles and how I feel about what I see.  And really, it's all, would be , just the ramblings of a silly old fool.
> 
> We'll see.



None of us ever transcend our humanity, think of those who try! Those who accept it are not barred from exploiting it, it can be a huge writing asset.


----------



## escorial

When you won't another go at it


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> When you won't another go at it



I think you meant 'Want' another go. But that is a young man's view, you know you are getting old when you simply wish it was all over.


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> I think you meant 'Want' another go. But that is a young man's view, you know you are getting old when you simply wish it was all over.



Uh... How bad off are ya when ya just don't give a damn one way or the other?





G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Guard Dog said:


> Uh... How bad off are ya when ya just don't give a damn one way or the other?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> G.D.


That is how one knows one is old, it is also how I know I am not old yet, though I admit I am not as young as I once was. 

Consults lawyer "I think you are fairly safe saying that"


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> That is how one knows one is old, it is also how I know I am not old yet, though I admit I am not as young as I once was.
> 
> Consults lawyer "I think you are fairly safe saying that"



Uh oh... Sounds like I've been old for a long time then. :|






G.D.


----------



## JustRob

You know you're getting old when others only want the assets that you still own but not the ones that you still have.


----------



## TuesdayEve

You know yur getting old when you lose your 
enthusiasm to do anything. And old isn’t necessarily 
age related. Pain is often the culprit and comes in 
assorted forms. Many times we don’t realize or care
about how we’re living....we’re just existing,
there’s only the pain. 
Under the blanket of pain, know...youth is patiently
lurking/waiting and never dies. Start with a smile.


----------



## Guard Dog

You know you're gettin' old when you lay down to take a nap, wake up later and not only have no idea how long you slept, but what frikken' day it is as well.

( That last part's really no big deal... I wasn't real sure what day it was when I went to sleep, so... 8-[  )




G.D.


----------



## dither

Guard Dog,
that's my idea of freedom. Because I work nights, probably, have done for a lot of years,  I think that when I stop working, should I live to see the day, there will be no meal-times or bed-times and as for  day and date, I really won't GIVE a damn. I shall eat when I feel like it, sleep when I'm tired, and to hell with callers. My idea of heaven.


----------



## dither

And while I'm at it;

How did that old Elvis Costello track go? "I can't stand up for falling dowwwn."
Well, that's where I am right now. I seem to be getting very clumsy and it's a worry.
I recently slipped over, I was walking on a surface that I shouldn't have been hurrying on but I was, I hurt myself and now I'm nursing a painful arm. I drop thing, when I'm in the kitchen I knock things over and I get so angry with myself.When things go wrong at work I rage at myself like you would not believe.
I need to work on he rage thing, I really do.


----------



## Guard Dog

I can relate, Dither... This neuropathy crap has turned me into one clumsy bastard these last few years.

I used to never drop things, and only fell down when somebody knocked me down.

Now, I find myself lookin' up at the sky, flat on my back in the yard at least once or twice every winter, without the slightest idea how I got there.

Fortunately, I've got enough furniture to grab that it doesn't happen in the house, though I do occasionally end up taking an unscheduled seat someplace I didn't intend, every now and again. 




G.D.


----------



## dither

Guard Dog,
I read somewhere that people aged over 60 average at least one fall per year. Maybe they meant falls that cause injury, I don't know. I just get so annoyed with myself. "Stupid old fart" springs readily to mind.
And it happens so quickly
I can be walking to work, cutting across a small grassed area, and suddenly, in less time that it takes to blink, I find myself studying the solar system.


----------



## Guard Dog

I should have a surplus built up by the time I turn 60 then. Maybe that means I'll slow up after that?

...then again, maybe that's just further proof that bein' above-average ain't always what it's cracked up to be.



G.D.


----------



## escorial

When the weather keeps you indoors


----------



## dither

LIFE keeps me indoors.


----------



## Winston

..your daughter is hanging out in Guadalajara with artists, listening to jazz at bohemian clubs.  She got her first tattoo.  
I'm 31 years older than her.  I still haven't got my first tattoo.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you realise you are the only one who ate everything on your plate. I was born in 1944, in 1946 there were still people starving to death in Europe. We had enough, but just enough, if it was on your plate you ate it, if you didn't want to eat it you didn't put it on your plate, because someone else would want to eat it, old habits die hard.


----------



## dither

Mr.Buckle,
I never peel spuds. Always do jackets [ god when I think of my mother in years gone by. The time she must have spent peeling spuds.]. I scoop the insides out, mash them and I would defy anyone to peel a potato as thinly as you can leave an empty jacket. Nothing could be easier. Anyway, occasionally I find myself throwing a jacket or two away because I've cooked one too many and it really grieves me.


----------



## Olly Buckle

By 'jackets' I take it you mean what I call baked potatoes, but you don't have to peel potatoes to boil them either. I reckon they actually taste better, you get flavour from the skins. My missus leaves the skins on the side of the plate, but she is only young   I eat everything!


----------



## JustRob

I have received a letter telling me that one of my savings bonds is about to mature at the end of the year and if I don't give them any instructions on what to do with the money it will be reinvested in a new bond for another five years. As I can't think of anything better to do with the money I will probably let that happen.

I wanted to book another river cruise in Europe but couldn't get what I wanted in 2019, so yesterday I booked one in September 2020.

I know that earlier I said that we shouldn't make a career out of getting old, but I do sometimes wonder how realistic my plans are. I used to say that on my tombstone I wanted the epitaph "God knows what he did," but now I'm thinking that it might be more appropriate to have "Well, this is inconvenient."


----------



## Olly Buckle

I know what you mean, though I am not quite so provident as you, I have always spent my income as I received it, but yesterday I opened a savings account and arranged for a monthly deposit out of my pension thinking 'If I can make it for another couple of years it should pay for my funeral' Then I thought 'And a couple more than that and there could be a jolly good wake'    Perhaps if I can make it that long I will organise a party, I would hate to pay for it and miss it.

Ps. Don't worry about the missus, she has her inheritance tucked away, and when I inherited a good few years back I bought the house in her name, I may be worth nothing, but she will be okay


----------



## Guard Dog

If I were going to have a tombstone, it would probably say something like "Damn, that took long enough!"

Or maybe "I want a Refund!"

No, no... This:  "Next time, how about not so many nuts and assholes?"

G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Guard Dog said:


> If I were going to have a tombstone, it would probably say something like "Damn, that took long enough!"
> 
> Or maybe "I want a Refund!"
> 
> No, no... This:  "Next time, how about not so many nuts and assholes?"
> 
> G.D.


"Deal with you nuts and arseholes next time round"  ??


----------



## Guard Dog

"When I come back, you've all had it!" :devilish:



G.D.


----------



## dither

Olly Buckle said:


> By 'jackets' I take it you mean what I call baked potatoes, but you don't have to peel potatoes to boil them either. I reckon they actually taste better, you get flavour from the skins. My missus leaves the skins on the side of the plate, but she is only young   I eat everything!



Yes, baked potatoes. I'd go along with that but it's been I know know many years since I last boiled a spud.


----------



## Olly Buckle

You should try, scrub them, cut out any eyes or blemishes and then just boil whole, the skin adds hugely to the taste. Unless they are really leathery old things you don't have to bother, simply eat the skin as well. When I am on my own and cooking for one I will put on the spuds, then ten minutes later add carrots to the saucepan and five minutes after that chopped up celery. Spuds and two veg and only one dirty saucepan. 

Rob, adding lots of smileys to your posts seems to promote LOL's.


----------



## dither

Mr.Buckle,
if like me you like eating the skins of a baked jacket potatoes. Try slapping a slice of strong tasting cheese between two of them to make a sandwich. A tasty and filling snack imo.


----------



## escorial

when every days a bonus


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you are no longer in a hurry.


----------



## dither

escorial said:


> when every days a bonus



Might be a bonus for you escorial but not for me.


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> Might be a bonus for you escorial but not for me.



There are times, usually when I am a bit tired, it feels that way, and I get tired more than I used. On the other hand even the worst days are better than any alternative I can imagine.


----------



## escorial

You can get Viagra without perscription now..


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> You can get Viagra without perscription now..



The hell with that... I'm stiff in too many places as it is. 8-[

Is there a pill that reverses fossilization?



G.D.


----------



## escorial

must be awkward out an about


----------



## Guard Dog

escorial said:


> must be awkward out an about



It can be awkward for a great many people, when I'm out n' about. 

...but probably not in the ways you're thinking, or for the reasons you might imagine.  [-X



G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

You know you are getting old when you see all these 'young' people posting in this thread.


----------



## Guard Dog

For some of us, it's not the year that make us old, it's the miles...




G.D.


----------



## JustRob

Olly Buckle said:


> You know you are getting old when you see all these 'young' people posting in this thread.



One of my sisters will be 88 in a week's time and my uncle died in the trenches early in WWI and yet I was born in the same year as you. My angel wife is only three years older than my oldest nephew, we didn't have children and I still enjoy disco dancing whenever the opportunity arises. In these circumstances I find it very difficult deciding which generation I belong to. It's no wonder that the theme of my writing is often how meaningless time is to a person's life. Apparently time is relative but my relatives give few clues as to where I fit into time. If I choose to count myself as one of your 'young' people then what are you?

As GD says, it often isn't the years but the miles.


----------



## Olly Buckle

I seem to have packed a fair bit into my time.


----------



## Guard Dog

Olly Buckle said:


> I seem to have packed a fair bit into my time.



Life has a way of doing that to you if you actually live it.

Sit on your ass and do nothing, and you can stay pretty low-mileage.

...and end up pretty worthless as well.



G.D
( I'm not gonna be one'a those folks that leaves a pretty corpse behind. [-X )


----------



## escorial

The older woman you fancied looks to old now


----------



## Olly Buckle

The younger woman you fancy gives up her seat for you and holds your elbow to escort you to it.


----------



## Guard Dog

Uh oh... My bad habits may actually cause me to live longer? 

That ain't right... 8-[

Alcohol, coffee could be key to living longer, study finds

Hell, if I manage to fatten up by the time I hit 70, I might just live forever. :concern:



G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

when people under seventy think they are old.


----------



## dither

I'm under seventy and I think I'm old.


----------



## Plasticweld

It was a life time ago for me. I watched them goof off and tease each other. The gleam of youth was in their eyes, as they pulled off childish pranks. They were old men all over the age of Seventy at the time. They were part of a elite group who had walked the length of Appalachian Trail when they where younger, it is about 2100 miles long  I got to tag along for a couple of days of camping and hiking with my grandfather as he reminisced with his buddies about days gone by. They did not act that different, than I did with my buddies.  The one noticeable difference was that you could tell that they really cared for each other. 


I could hardly wait until I was an old guy so that I could have fun like they were having. 


Seventy is not that far away for me anymore, just another ten years.  I hope I am just as foolish at Seventy as I am at Sixty.


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> I'm under seventy and I think I'm old.



I'm seventy four, my body feels old at times, but my older daughter gave me a skipping rope at Christmas, so I hope to improve on that. The younger one gave me a tin whistle and instruction book, so I am getting exercise for my fingers which are getting a bit stiff, and learning a new skill, that always helps. I know I am getting old physically in some ways, but I don't feel old inside yet, wonder when that will come?


----------



## dither

Well I feel old, and tired.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Tired I understand, a nap during the day is not that uncommon nowadays.


----------



## Guard Dog

I've heard it said that you know you're getting old when you start looking forward to Nap Time.



G.D.


----------



## Olly Buckle

More a necessary interference in my day than looking forward to it.


----------



## Megan Pearson

You know you're you're getting old when you start double-typing as you write!


----------



## JustRob

Olly Buckle said:


> Tired I understand, a nap during the day is not that uncommon nowadays.



I have been retired for close to twenty years now and the one benefit of that that I really value is being able to live my life as my mind and body want rather than as society demands. It is far more efficient doing that than being dominated by clocks and has little to do with getting old. In my working days I earned my living by thinking creatively and that can be a very erratic process that doesn't heed clocks. I can remember sleeping at my desk in the office in my twenties, but what mattered to my employers was what happened while I was awake. In fact I have evidently done much of my best work when asleep, consciousness not being essential to creativity apparently. 

No, I've never regarded sleep as inactivity, far from it. The amount that my body now needs doesn't reflect on my amount of mental activity overall and physical activity has never been my forte anyway. When I was a schoolboy getting accolades for my schoolwork my father would nevertheless often remark, "He needs a bomb behind him," not recognising my style of activity.

Younger people rush about solving all the problems in their lives but some of us older ones have already done that and are reaping the benefits now, that's all. I recollect a colleague at the office taking two weeks holiday and when he returned someone asked him what he'd been doing and he just said, "Nothing." They were appalled at that, that a relatively young man should just spend two weeks of valuable leisure time in nothing but ... leisure.

This morning I have no pressing reason to get out of bed, the reason being that I've already plugged my laptop into its mains adapter, so I'll have no problems with its battery going flat. I was writing a long PM to someone at one o'clock this morning, the reason why the battery was already low. At this time of the year daylight hours are barely relevant anyway. 

No, that's one criterion of getting old that I simply don't recognise.


----------



## dither

Guard Dog said:


> I've heard it said that you know you're getting old when you start looking forward to Nap Time.
> 
> 
> 
> G.D.



I think that one of the few joys of getting old is that there is no "nap-time" or "any-time to do anything". It's totally please yourself time. Or WILL be, if/when I retire. I hope.


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> I think that one of the few joys of getting old is that there is no "nap-time" or "any-time to do anything". It's totally please yourself time. Or WILL be, if/when I retire. I hope.



Wrong, retirement is when your life gets filled up, when you are working you can come home and relax, when you are retired everyone knows you are a free agent and calls on your services at any and every time.


----------



## dither

Trust me Mr.Buckle, that is going to happen. I'm the last person that anyone would call on. A succession of long empty days for me with many boredom induced naps. My body-clock will be all over the place.


----------



## Olly Buckle

I see you are just an incorrigible optimist


----------



## dither

Olly Buckle said:


> I see you are just an incorrigible optimist



YUP! 'fraid so.


----------



## Winston

Olly Buckle said:


> I see you are just an incorrigible optimist



Once one appreciates the beauty of simply waking up alive every morning... 
That's optimism.  Laying your head down each night with the expectation you'll lift it again the next day.


----------



## dither

I lay my head down with the expectation that I shall lift it again the next day and in hope that I won't. I'm sorry but there it is.

Y'know? I read an article the other about how so many people are being treated, and prescribed drugs, for depression when , actually , they have a personality disorder. That's a totally different situation altogether opined the writer.
Well? I can see that.
I've never wanted to get to the bottom of how I feel about life, thought I'd take it the grave with me, why not? And then, when I  went to have a concern raised by optician investigated, a Hospital eye-specialist asked about my health and well being. I wasn't, hadn't been, prepared for that and so obviously I said " yeah, I'm fine, as well as can be I think". So is my mental-state having any sort of bearing on my sight? He must have thought it relevant. And then, maybe he just meant my physical well being. I'm not sure how to proceed here. Could just mention how I feel I suppose, ask if it matters. Don't know if I could, WANT TO EVEN, cope with happiness and optimism now. That would be such a shock to the system now after so many years. Old habits die hard. 
I'm up for a "field-test" what ever that is and then it's back to see the specialist early in the new year.

We shall see I suppose.


----------



## Olly Buckle

> We shall see I suppose.


Well, he is an eye specialist.  Ouch! Sorry about that. 


Not being depressed doesn't have to mean you become an all singing, all dancing, life of the party guy; you would be allowed to be normal and leave that other stuff to idiots like me. You know, much as you are now, but happy about it and not fed up. No harm in asking, I don't think you warrant the straight jacket and padded cell treatment and anything else is a probable win of some sort.


----------



## dither

It's just that years ago when saw chiropractor for treatment on by back, he also asked if I had ever suffered with depression. I said no of course.


----------



## JustRob

Dither, a few years ago I was waiting to see a specialist in a hospital and overheard him talking to his previous patient, probably in the corridor outside the other consulting room as the consultation itself had clearly ended. The patient was relating all the many symptoms that he'd had in the past and how the specialists had been baffled by them and eventually this specialist, clearly keen to move on to see me, said, "You ought to write a book," no doubt guessing that the man was just seeking attention. Perhaps he was also implying that the man had a very imaginative mind, so could be a fiction writer if he tried. Of course I never judge other people any differently from the way that I judge myself, but I was pretty certain that my own symptoms weren't simply in my imagination as I had written an entire novel to purge all the nonsense from my unconscious mind not long before. Maybe that specialist was being wiser than it first appeared then.

I suspect that such medical people always wonder whether there is a mental rather than physical reason for a patient's symptoms. I had gone to see that specialist because I had a problem that merited a colonoscopy and he told me that there were two options, a physical one that could cure any minor problems at the same time as the examination but carried with it a small risk of injury in the process, or a virtual one using a CAT scanner that could identify any problems but not cure them, so the physical process might need to be carried out to do that afterwards anyway. I opted for the virtual process and it cured my problem on its own even though he had said that it couldn't. Had I only had a virtual problem then? From previous experience I didn't think so and I wrote to him to explain why. 

The day before the scan I had to take a series of very strong purgatives to clear my digestive tract out entirely so that the pictures from the scanner would be clear. I suspected that my symptoms resulted from a persistent bacterial infection within the tract and the purgatives alone got rid of it, thus giving the impression that the subsequent CAT scan had done it, which latter was of course impossible. Of course nobody knows which explanation, this or the mental one, was the true one, but it makes a good story, which is all that matters to a writer in the end.

So evidently writing purges the mind as effectively as other purgatives act on our bodies. Keep on writing and stay healthy then.

My angel often goes to a chiropractor but sometimes also goes to an acupuncturist. The acupuncturist thinks that the effectiveness of chiropractic is all in the patient's mind but that acupuncture genuinely works physically. Hmmm...


----------



## Olly Buckle

Lying should be reserved for your enemies, though I admit it is tempting sometimes, but when people have based their career on trying to help me I feel bad if I don't do them the favour of telling the truth, guilty. My enemies I can lie through my teeth and no qualms.


----------



## escorial

You start listening to country music


----------



## Arachne

escorial said:


> You start listening to country music



:shock:   #-o :grief:


----------



## Darkkin

Where's Waldo turns 30...


----------



## Amnesiac

Nothing will make you feel older than having sons that are strong as bulls and in their twenties. Recently, I moved houses. It's taken me a couple of weeks to recuperate, and some of the stuff, I don't think I could have moved at all, so I cracked a beer and let the young bucks have at it. They seemed to enjoy it, God love 'em. LOL


----------



## Amnesiac

Vietnam ended 45 years ago...

I personally joined the Army 32 years ago. Holy crap!!


----------



## midnightpoet

I have a smart phone and a smart TV.  They're both smarter than me.  I still haven't figured out how to answer the phone: I just start pushing buttons and they hang up before I can figure it out.  The TV knows I turn on sports the first thing in the morning so it automatically brings up the proper channel.  Wish I had a memory that good.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When people are nice to you when you forget stuff. I have always forgotten stuff, I don't think any more or less now than when I was young, but then I was called all sorts of stupid for it, now I am treated indulgently, 'Poor old man'.


----------



## Winston

Amnesiac said:


> ...I personally joined the Army 32 years ago. Holy crap!!



Gotcha by a couple of years.  Joined the Marines 34 years ago, at age 17. Graduated boot camp on my 18th birthday.

Well, I know I'm old because I bought a bunch of reading glasses, put at least one in each room, and can never find one.  
So I always borrow my wife's glasses.  Not a good look.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you tell the old joke about the fully automated flight where the announcement says "Do not worry, nothing can go wrong, click, go wrong, click, go wrong' and a whole group of adults just look at you with no understanding because they never played damaged vinyl, it was tape and cd when they were young.


----------



## dither

Maybe, probably, I think, I'm finding it easier to talk to strangers. And, okay, I mean women, women that I might never have seen before. In queues, bus-stops and the like. And perhaps that's a two-way thing. I had some really nice encounters yesterday and in all of them these people had spoken first. I get the feeling that people are finding it easier to talk to me. Whatever. I like it.
Shedding those layers of self-doubt and self-consciousness. Losing the baggage.


----------



## Chris Stevenson

When my girlfriends says, "Okay, baby, take it all off."

She means my oxygen.

When you're older than Jurassic rock, got more baggage than a Carnival cruise, and ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road. Wait....That means I'm perfect for a senior's dating site!!! Whooooopeeee! Where's my Aqua Velva?


----------



## Chris Stevenson

I know I'm old when I've just brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid medicine. No wonder nothing tastes good anymore.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Chris Stevenson said:


> I know I'm old when I've just brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid medicine. No wonder nothing tastes good anymore.



 I remember someone on a trip doing that with a tube of shaving cream, we were about eighteen, you don't have to be old to make the error, just to have haemorrhoid cream I guess. A tip, someone pointed out that people in India don't suffer in that way because of the way they clean themselves, practice scrupulous cleanliness and wash every time you go and they are no problem.

PS you know you are getting old when you can give tips like that


----------



## dither

Chris Stevenson said:


> I know I'm old when I've just brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid medicine. No wonder nothing tastes good anymore.



Lol!
I attempted to squirt shaving foam into my arm-pit one time.#-o


----------



## Amnesiac

Winston said:


> Gotcha by a couple of years.  Joined the Marines 34 years ago, at age 17. Graduated boot camp on my 18th birthday.
> 
> Well, I know I'm old because I bought a bunch of reading glasses, put at least one in each room, and can never find one.
> So I always borrow my wife's glasses.  Not a good look.



Yeah... I joined on Delayed Entry when I was 16, left at the end of the first semester of my senior year of high school, and turned 18 in AIT. HOOAH!! 

As for the reading glasses: I have a set at work, a set downstairs, and another set upstairs. (and damned if I can find a one of them when I need them!) LOL


----------



## Amnesiac

I've brushed my teeth with my teenage daughter's pimple cream, and once, when we were getting ready to go to some function, I combed my hair and used hairspray, except that it was right next to the spraycan of deoderant. Yep... Sprayed my hair with Right Guard. Dammit! LOL


----------



## Kevin

Winston said:


> Gotcha by a couple of years.  Joined the Marines 34 years ago, at age 17. Graduated boot camp on my 18th birthday.
> 
> Well, I know I'm old because I bought a bunch of reading glasses, put at least one in each room, and can never find one.
> So I always borrow my wife's glasses.  Not a good look.


 Fred G. Sanford had a whole drawer full which he only dug through when he had something important to read. 

Some of the lenses are scratched, the frames got sat on, they sit cockeyed, or a lens popped out. That's my collection.


----------



## Marjon

Old? What are you talking about? I am just right and crackling crispy.


----------



## Amnesiac

Yeah! I'm "well-seasoned." LOL


----------



## Olly Buckle

Kevin said:


> Fred G. Sanford had a whole drawer full which only dug through when he had something important to read.
> 
> Some of the lenses are scratched, the frames got sat on, they sit cockeyed, or a lens popped out. That's my collection.



I found some old ones the other day and tried them on to see if they were worth keeping for emergency use, they were pre cataract operation, my new lenses mean I am not short sighted anymore, just astigmatic.


----------



## escorial

When you don't get offered a nightclub flyer


----------



## escorial

When you start buying expensive cheese


----------



## Soda_Fox

When vegetables become your favorite foods.


----------



## seigfried007

Soda_Fox said:


> When vegetables become your favorite foods.


but only because you can't poop without them


----------



## Olly Buckle

Soda_Fox said:


> When vegetables become your favorite foods.


When the ingredients that seem appropriate to porridge are water, salt and oatmeal, and nothing else.


----------



## seigfried007

Olly Buckle said:


> When the ingredients that seem appropriate to porridge are water, salt and oatmeal, and nothing else.



And even older when your oatmeal has only water, oatmeal and raisins because you're constipated and on a sodium restricted diet


----------



## Winston

When it's been fifty years since a man walked on the moon.  
And you remember wanting to be that man.

edit:  First Man.  '72 was the last man.


----------



## Kajaxis

Things you enjoyed as a child/teen, (music, toys, tv, etc.) Is considered vintage.

I remember a few days ago I was looking up vintage Pokemon cards and had to stop and think to myself, "wait a minute, I played with these when I was younger, now they're being called vintage?"


----------



## seigfried007

Kajaxis said:


> Things you enjoyed as a child/teen, (music, toys, tv, etc.) Is considered vintage.
> 
> I remember a few days ago I was looking up vintage Pokemon cards and had to stop and think to myself, "wait a minute, I played with these when I was younger, now they're being called vintage?"




When reading this you feel old because no Pokemon merchandise whatsoever should be called "vintage". That whole shebang practically started yesterday, you Johnny-come-latelies. how dare you call yourselves "vintage". 

Excuse me while I reminisce over "titty pink" Tupperware parties.


----------



## JustRob

... When 5GL phones are introduced and you haven't even bothered to find out what the 2GL phone that you were given as a present can do and you can never find the charger for it anyway. 

... Equally when you realise that you're the oldest computer whizz kid in town who used to work with computers that were so primitive that they only understood numbers, not letters or words. Apparently nowadays they've reinvented that idea and now call it texting. Why, I wonder. Phones were once for talking into, i.e. _phonic_. Don't they understand plain speech any more or will 5GL provide speech to text conversion so that people can just talk again instead of madly pushing buttons? When that sort of thing makes no sense you certainly feel that you must be getting older ... or just maybe you're already wiser.

... When you can remember when people talked normally into a phone and didn't feel the need to speak loud enough for everyone within half a mile to hear them without even using a phone. Perhaps 5GL will also cater for a _sotto voce_ setting ... _on the phone's owner_, that is.


----------



## escorial

You don't have to worry about being sex trafficked


----------



## Megan Pearson

...when you can eat ice cream for dinner. 

And that's all. Nothing else. (Yum.) 

And nobody cares that you ate ice cream for dinner except your gut, which takes all the fun out of eating ice cream for dinner.


----------



## seigfried007

You're excited about still having some "pepper" in your "salt".


----------



## Amnesiac

You know you're getting old when you remember when MTV actually played music videos.


----------



## seigfried007

Amnesiac said:


> You know you're getting old when you remember when MTV actually played music videos.



Video killed the radio star

but

Reality TV killed the music video stars...


----------



## Winston

Did I go to college with Bernie Sanders?  Or, was it Reverend Jim from "Taxi"?


----------



## Olly Buckle

Winston said:


> Did I go to college with Bernie Sanders?  Or, was it Reverend Jim from "Taxi"?



Who? I don't know all these modern shows you youngsters go on about.


----------



## escorial

When you use to change socks everyday..then you start to smell em before putting them back on and now you just put them on...


----------



## dither

Not sure if this is related to old age but, having had all of my hair cut off a few months back and it having grown back to the point where it needed to be combed, I had it all cut off again today because I just can't be bothered with it. Combing my hair requires to much effort. THINKING about combing my hair was too much.


----------



## Amnesiac

You know you're getting old when you reach for your cellphone that's on the bed, and in doing so, pull a muscle in your back so badly, you can barely breathe.


----------



## seigfried007

You know you're getting old when pooping is hard work, and such valiant labors are a topic of serious discussion.


It was the best of turds, it was the worst of turds. It was the turd of wisdom, it was the turd of foolishness. It was the turd of belief, it was the turd of incredulity. It was the turd of hope, it was the turd of despair. We had everything behind us, we had nothing behind us (despite our valiant labors).


----------



## escorial

Give anything for a solid turd instead of spraying the pan


----------



## sleepindawg

When your doctor ignores an ongoing change in health as just old age taking effect.

(The doctor has been fired and my health is improving with my new doctor.)


----------



## KenTR

...you have to shave your earlobes.


----------



## dither

sleepindawg said:


> When your doctor ignores an ongoing change in health as just old age taking effect.
> 
> (The doctor has been fired and my health is improving with my new doctor.)



Lol!

"Wear and tear" mine calls it.


----------



## Amnesiac

Yeah... I have to use the electric trimmer to shave an ungodly amount of hair outta' my ears and nose. Dammit.


----------



## KenTR

Any writer worth his weight in words has a bottle brush coming out of his ears, an empty stomach, and body odor that could kill a houseplant.


----------



## sleepindawg

seigfried007 said:


> You know you're getting old when pooping is hard work, and such valiant labors are a topic of serious discussion.
> 
> 
> It was the best of turds, it was the worst of turds. It was the turd of wisdom, it was the turd of foolishness. It was the turd of belief, it was the turd of incredulity. It was the turd of hope, it was the turd of despair. We had everything behind us, we had nothing behind us (despite our valiant labors).



Did you miss 'Close Encounters of the Turd Kind'?

EDIT: BTW, I like your avatar, is the cat a friend of yours?


----------



## Amnesiac

In the sheriff's dept, we used to call it, "Rolling Code Brown." LOL


----------



## seigfried007

sleepindawg said:


> Did you miss 'Close Encounters of the Turd Kind'?
> 
> EDIT: BTW, I like your avatar, is the cat a friend of yours?


[video=youtube;_wYtG7aQTHA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA[/video]

Nah, these guys got the Close Encounter covered 

Nope. Always wanted a Siamese and never had one. Made a whole fantasy race based on Siamese cat though.


----------



## KenTR

You know that copy of "Dark Side of the Moon" you picked up in 1973? You know how you've kept it in mint condition and wrapped the gatefold sleeve in plastic because the stickers and poster inside are so cool and you don't want them to get all yellowed and brittle? You know you're getting old when you say "Fuck it", slap the stickers on your fridge and hang the poster on your wall, thumbtacks and all.


----------



## JesterTRT

Yikes. I'm not even 30 yet and I live life like most of these! 
I'm in bed by 9 pm and all my friends make fun of me for it.


----------



## escorial

Your ball bag hangs like a saddle


----------



## seigfried007

You collect vintage antiques because of nostalgia. "Gee, I remember when these things came out! They were so cool..."


----------



## JustRob

seigfried007 said:


> You collect vintage antiques because of nostalgia. "Gee, I remember when these things came out! They were so cool..."



Actually it's when you realise that your everyday possessions are now regarded as museum pieces by others. Yesterday I was using my electric drill bought in the early 1970s, which has inside the case a label declaring that it received a Design Centre award for its design back then. Well it certainly should have received an award for its potential durability. Many of the things that we use at home were bought during the early years of our marriage and have survived. My angel still occasionally uses an electric food whisk from those days and wonders how much longer it will last as Kenwood have stopped providing parts for that model now. I have a small table-top lathe bought in the 1960s that I still use and a photograph of my own lathe is the prominent one on the relevant page of a website dedicated to lathe model histories. I sent my photos to the owner of the site as the ones that he already had were of a machine in poorer condition and photos of both machines are now there. So, in the case of my lathe it is already in a cyberspace museum even though I am still using it. See HERE.

By the way, although the photos were taken in completely different locations, both one of mine and some of the others appear to contain the same six inch ruler as a scale. This is in fact the fabled universal six inch ruler (even if the metric side of it appears in the photos). It was once said that a true engineer always had a six inch steel ruler in his pocket, the equivalent of a clerk's pens. In fact I have never been anything but an amateur engineer when the circumstances have demanded it and my own six inch ruler has always been kept in my toolbox or on my workbench. Nevertheless I do agree that it is virtually the badge of an engineering mind with graduations down to ludicrous hundredths of an inch that I nowadays need a magnifying glass to read. At those levels I resort to using a micrometer, but that universal badge is still essential to our generation. No doubt nowadays engineers prefer to use digital calipers rather than rulers anyway.


----------



## Olly Buckle

seigfried007 said:


> You collect vintage antiques because of nostalgia. "Gee, I remember when these things came out! They were so cool..."



Two words that seem to have changed in their definition considerably. When I was young people used to define 'antique' as over one hundred years old, vintage as between seventy five and one hundred years old. Now 'vintage' seems to mean 'of good quality', though I suppose it always had that implication when applied to wine, and it would not have been that old in that context, just referring to a particular year. 'Antique' seems to be almost anything old enough it is no longer in production.


----------



## escorial

eternal life seems like a good idea...


----------



## seigfried007

escorial said:


> eternal life seems like a good idea...


You're a whippersnapper if you think that. Old people know that life is pain. The body falls apart, everyone forgets you and moves on with their lives, everyone you know about or care about is dying around you, and you're a dry, impotent, old prune, a husk of your former greatness who can't do anything for yourself--even chew your food with your own teeth or hold your liquids in place til you're good and ready to release them--and you just want it all to end. You know you're old when life sucks, and you're looking into that afterlife thing after all. Old age sucks and isn't for the faint of heart. 

[video=youtube;5LB9vK6bG6A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LB9vK6bG6A[/video]


----------



## midnightpoet

When you're trying to keep up with new definitions for old words like "sick" and hack" and "wonk." Or is that last one a new word?  Usually by the time I see these on the "net" kids have probably gone on to something else so there's even newer words for the same thing and these terms are obsolete.  is there new term for "geezer alert?":read:


----------



## JesterTRT

With 110 pages, this one has probably been used multiple times- but. 
You know you're getting old when you need to stop writing for the day because your fingers and getting too stiff. Here comes the arthritis.


----------



## Amnesiac

....when the thought of a life sentence just isn't much of a deterrent, anymore. LOL


----------



## seigfried007

Amnesiac said:


> ....when the thought of a life sentence just isn't much of a deterrent, anymore. LOL



...when "til death do you part" ain't much of a deterrent either. 

...when a death sentence not only isn't a deterrent but might actually be thought of as "felonies with benefits"


----------



## Earp

Olly Buckle said:


> Two words that seem to have changed in their definition considerably. When I was young people used to define 'antique' as over one hundred years old, vintage as between seventy five and one hundred years old. Now 'vintage' seems to mean 'of good quality', though I suppose it always had that implication when applied to wine, and it would not have been that old in that context, just referring to a particular year. 'Antique' seems to be almost anything old enough it is no longer in production.



Except porn. Vintage usually refers to something from the 70s and antique, if used at all, would be those naughty French postcards, I guess.


----------



## PiP

You know your getting old when even porn is not that interesting.


----------



## seigfried007

Earp said:


> Except porn. Vintage usually refers to something from the 70s and antique, if used at all, would be those naughty French postcards, I guess.




Porn's been on film since the silent movie era. To solve an argument, my husband and I actually found some of this old stuff. It was... hilarious. Stuff's about a hundred years old though, so yup, it's an antique.

And then there's vintage stuff like this:

[video=youtube;F89VH446S_M]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F89VH446S_M[/video]


----------



## Amnesiac

My wife was going out to the "she-shed." I mistakenly called it the "shit-show." Evidently, the two are entirely different things. I know that now...


----------



## PiP

Amnesiac said:


> My wife was going out to the "she-shed." I mistakenly called it the "shit-show." Evidently, the two are entirely different things. I know that now...


I've never heard of the she-shed. BRILLIANT! Had to google. Like it. One up from the 'Man Cave'


----------



## seigfried007

Amnesiac said:


> My wife was going out to the "she-shed." I mistakenly called it the "shit-show." Evidently, the two are entirely different things. I know that now...



But does she go to the she-shed to sell her she-shells on the she-shore?


----------



## Amnesiac

I despise both names; "she-shed," and, "man cave." I pay the goddamned bills. The whole fucking house and the grounds surrounding it are my "cave." And I would never relegate my adoring and adorable wife to a shed of any kind. We're both artists, so she's as welcome to spread her materials out and make as big of a mess as she wants, because she pays the bills TOO! If I have need of a "man cave," it's called the garage, and it's where I fix stuff, work on the cars, build stuff, and keep the yard tools. I think a lot of people are doing these cutesy "man cave/she-shed" things to justify a division and separation that shouldn't be happening in the first place.

(Whoa.... Soap-box moment. Sorry...)


----------



## PiP

Amnesiac said:


> I despise both names; "she-shed," and, "man cave." I pay the goddamned bills. The whole fucking house and the grounds surrounding it are my "cave." And I would never relegate my adoring and adorable wife to a shed of any kind. We're both artists, so she's as welcome to spread her materials out and make as big of a mess as she wants, because she pays the bills TOO! If I have need of a "man cave," it's called the garage, and it's where I fix stuff, work on the cars, build stuff, and keep the yard tools. I think a lot of people are doing these cutesy "man cave/she-shed" things to justify a division and separation that shouldn't be happening in the first place.
> 
> (Whoa.... Soap-box moment. Sorry...)



*laughing* I like my private space for 'ME' time. My favourite 'space' is the garden. The garage is my workshop for glass mosaics and the garden for painting and writing. I think people have adopted these 'cutesy' names as a code for 'ME' space. Right now I could do with silence but the TV is blaring so yeah... I get it.

ETA: I dislike the name she-shed. I thought it was the outside privy


----------



## PiP

If I could have a she-shed it would be a greenhouse


----------



## Megan Pearson

...you know you're getting old when you no longer want to go out to your greenhouse she-shed.


----------



## seigfried007

Megan Pearson said:


> ...you know you're getting old when you no longer want to go out to your greenhouse she-shed.



Because your knees and back and arthritic fingers won't let you enjoy it. 

... it's time to spend some quality time with Ben Gay


----------



## sleepindawg

seigfried007 said:


> [video=youtube;_wYtG7aQTHA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA[/video]
> 
> Nah, these guys got the Close Encounter covered :wink:
> 
> Nope. Always wanted a Siamese and never had one. Made a whole fantasy race based on Siamese cat though.



You know what 'Dylan' tune this pic is a reference to:


Sorry about the low quality, here's a better image of the cat. 

If you look hard you can see some of my crafting as well.

EDIT: Oh, and: You know who BOTH of your pics are.


----------



## seigfried007

sleepindawg said:


> You know what 'Dylan' tune this pic is a reference to:
> View attachment 24193
> Sorry about the low quality, here's a better image of the cat.
> View attachment 24194
> If you look hard you can see some of my crafting as well.
> 
> EDIT: Oh, and: You know who BOTH of your pics are.



Nope. Doesn't look like your reading the news, and I hope your daughters don't need new shoes. I'm not a Dylan expert though. Got a bad case of cat envy--even if I do like my big, fat, fluffy buddy (totally allergic to him, but he's just so lovable and soft).


----------



## PiP

I know I am getting old and grumpy but I don't understand this luv of cats because they are so blatantly independent... it's almost as if they are throwing their owners scraps of affection. *PiPs now runs and hides*


----------



## escorial

Mrs slocambe loved her pussy


----------



## PiP

> Mrs slocambe loved her pussy



I am sure Mrs Slocambe's pussy was also a free spirit.


----------



## escorial

When you get a purple rinse...


----------



## RLBeers

You remember phone numbers that began with letters


----------



## PiP

escorial said:


> When you get a purple rinse...



Maybe even Brazilian? Moving swiftly on ...

Has anyone else noticed us olduns have a completely different level of humour to the youngsters?


----------



## PiP

RLBeers said:


> You remember phone numbers that began with letters


----------



## Marjon

When you start to make jokes about your rattling bones.

(Who says I'm old? I'm just nice and crisp!)


----------



## sleepindawg

Kajaxis said:


> Things you enjoyed as a child/teen, (music, toys, tv, etc.) Is considered vintage.
> 
> I remember a few days ago I was looking up vintage Pokemon cards and had to stop and think to myself, "wait a minute, I played with these when I was younger, now they're being called vintage?"



I know that it's about half a month old, but I had to quote it anyway. You see, I wrote a fictional news story about someone exposing a fictional group forming to protect pokemon from being exploited by the pokemon trainers. I hope it sells.


----------



## PiP

Marjon said:


> When you start to make jokes about your rattling bones.



It's when your teeth start to rattle you need to worry.


----------



## Marjon

You are getting old when you start making your dentist a rich man.  (Don't do that, Pip)


----------



## escorial

When you can start doing gummies...


----------



## sleepindawg

Olly Buckle said:


> When people are nice to you when you forget stuff. I have always forgotten stuff, I don't think any more or less now than when I was young, but then I was called all sorts of stupid for it, now I am treated indulgently, 'Poor old man'.



I tell them that I've always been bad remembering names, and they answer with things like; "Me too." and when I have the same trouble finding the word I want, (I had the same problem as a youth) they are so nice about things with that too.

Another problem that I had when I was young and still run into is having people jump to (usually wrong) conclusions about where I'm going with what I'm saying. Back then it was grounds for them to start an argument over, now they are just polite when you finally get them to stop running off in the wrong direction with the conversation and they find out what I REALLY was saying.


----------



## sleepindawg

Olly Buckle said:


> I remember someone on a trip doing that with a tube of shaving cream, we were about eighteen, you don't have to be old to make the error, just to have haemorrhoid cream I guess. A tip, someone pointed out that people in India don't suffer in that way because of the way they clean themselves, practice scrupulous cleanliness and wash every time you go and they are no problem.
> 
> PS you know you are getting old when you can give tips like that



When you can hear or read about things like that and not brand the conversation as what they now call 'TMI' back in my day it was just not something 'we' wanted to hear about.


----------



## sleepindawg

JustRob said:


> ... When 5GL phones are introduced and you haven't even bothered to find out what the 2GL phone that you were given as a present can do and you can never find the charger for it anyway.
> 
> ... Equally when you realise that you're the oldest computer whizz kid in town who used to work with computers that were so primitive that they only understood numbers, not letters or words. Apparently nowadays they've reinvented that idea and now call it texting. Why, I wonder. Phones were once for talking into, i.e. _phonic_. Don't they understand plain speech any more or will 5GL provide speech to text conversion so that people can just talk again instead of madly pushing buttons? When that sort of thing makes no sense you certainly feel that you must be getting older ... or just maybe you're already wiser.
> 
> ... When you can remember when people talked normally into a phone and didn't feel the need to speak loud enough for everyone within half a mile to hear them without even using a phone. Perhaps 5GL will also cater for a _sotto voce_ setting ... _on the phone's owner_, that is.



Switch settings to give them what amounted to BIOS so they could find the tape storage device and 'boot' from the tape in it. Oh, and if any of the 16 switches was set wrong on any line (including the first line) of the 4 pages of lines you had to start all over when the 'boot' failed.


----------



## sleepindawg

seigfried007 said:


> [video=youtube;_wYtG7aQTHA]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wYtG7aQTHA[/video]
> 
> Nah, these guys got the Close Encounter covered :wink:
> 
> Nope. Always wanted a Siamese and never had one. Made a whole fantasy race based on Siamese cat though.



Trying to catch up with the thread I found that I went back to threads from before I started reading this thread so, I find myself at this post again and have another reply for it.

I personally am working on an alien race that looks a lot like a margay:



Picture with furry hands rather than front paws.


----------



## sleepindawg

seigfried007 said:


> Nope. Doesn't look like your reading the news, and I hope your daughters don't need new shoes. I'm not a Dylan expert though. Got a bad case of cat envy--even if I do like my big, fat, fluffy buddy (totally allergic to him, but he's just so lovable and soft).



The name of the tune is 'Like a Rolling Stone' and the line of interest in the tune is: 
"You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat"

While it's true that I'm far from being a diplomat, (some may say that I'm the opposite of one) on the other hand the cat on my shoulder isn't a full blood Siamese either.


----------



## sleepindawg

RLBeers said:


> You remember phone numbers that began with letters



Do you mean words that contained the letters? Examples: Woodroof or Hilltop.
Yes, those were the start of phone numbers that we had when I was a whippersnapper.


----------



## sleepindawg

PiP said:


> I know I am getting old and grumpy but I don't understand this luv of cats because they are so blatantly independent... it's almost as if they are throwing their owners scraps of affection. *PiPs now runs and hides*



The cat on my shoulder was a very clingy little girl, she sometimes made it hard to get up to go to the bathroom. I would set her on the arm of the recliner and before I could get up she would be back in my lap. Oh, and she was displacing another 'cat friend' of mine, the other friend would get up and lay on my chest, sometimes to get tummy rubs. There's another thing about my 'cat friends', all 3 of them loved having their tummies rubbed, that's something that most cats take as 'play fighting' action.

EDIT: Most cat lovers know that they don't own a cat, the cat is a friend who chooses you as much as you choose it.


----------



## sleepindawg

When your sex drive has driven off without you, and you don't mind it much.


----------



## Olly Buckle

sleepindawg said:


> When your sex drive has driven off without you, and you don't mind it much.



I think the sleeping dog lies. The body is old and no longer very attractive, the energy levels and ability have dropped, though experience is some degree of substitute, but the mental desire seems to go on forever.


----------



## dither

I reckon I'd go along with that Mr.Buckle.


----------



## JustRob

Peter Fonda, star of the cult film _Easy Rider_, may have just died but it isn't too late for those of us left. My angel and I seem to encounter many advertisements and catalogues for mobility scooters and electrically reclining armchairs nowadays despite both still being able bodied. It occurred to me that if these two aids were combined then someone could market the Easy Recliner Mobility Scooter. So, hobble onto your mobility scooter, press the recline switch and hit the open road just like you always dreamed of doing in your youth ... albeit at eight miles an hour. I have read in a catalogue of a mobility scooter with a range of three hundred miles, so you could cruise all day long on that and still have enough power to come back. 

"Breaker, breaker to the ancient fossil on the easy recliner at my front door. If you can't go any faster in that rig then move over. Come back." 

Sorry, we watched the film _Convoy_ recently so that just sprang to mind. Come back.


----------



## Amnesiac

"Roger dodger, doggy daddy! Ten-four! Over 'n' out!"


----------



## sleepindawg

seigfried007 said:


> Nope. Doesn't look like your reading the news, and I hope your daughters don't need new shoes. I'm not a Dylan expert though. Got a bad case of cat envy--even if I do like my big, fat, fluffy buddy (totally allergic to him, but he's just so lovable and soft).



BTW, I would love to see your "fluffy buddy" please show us a photo.


----------



## sleepindawg

Olly Buckle said:


> I think the sleeping dog lies. The body is old and no longer very attractive, the energy levels and ability have dropped, though experience is some degree of substitute, but the mental desire seems to go on forever.



I actually have more desire to be in a long conversation with an attractive lady than to gain carnal knowledge of her these days.


----------



## seigfried007

sleepindawg said:


> I actually have more desire to be in a long conversation with an attractive lady than to gain carnal knowledge of her these days.



That's totally normal and healthy. If you think about it, carnal relations are not very much of what spends the bulk of anything relationship having. You're a lot more likely to be talking to someone, snoozing with them, working with them, etc.--especially if you're talking a really long term relationship (raising kids together, growing old together).


----------



## dither

sleepindawg said:


> I actually have more desire to be in a long conversation with an attractive lady than to gain carnal knowledge of her these days.




dawg,
that's the one thing missing from my life that I crave, conversation, but  it has to be the right person.


----------



## Gofa

I actually have more desire to be in a long conversation with an attractive lady than to gain carnal knowledge of her these days.

hello D

ahhhhh yes testosterone’s lament the good old days when we lead from our other head and there were so many of them and so little time    Now their number is undiminished and there is even less time but but but
Im a rooster that use ta.   Sigh
when i was young it would have been nice to know they could talk as well    I used to talk but being young i saw no need to listen    Ahhhhhh the simplicity  of being young the good of days when men were men and sheep were nervous 

i feel some need to offer that this is tongue in cheek and i for my sins am was a solo parent of three daughters now grown

and to be serious   Talking can lead to true intimacy whereas sex too often just gets in the way


----------



## dither

Wise words Gofa and a " hello, how are yer?" to you  sir.

Intimacy without  HAVING TO DO SEX as though wanting to prove something, although sex with the kind of intimacy that you speak of must be quite something else.
I'm afraid my boat really has sailed on that one but hey ho!


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you expect lights to simply come on; instead of gradually getting brighter.


----------



## KenTR

When you have cassette tapes and a device to play them on.


----------



## midnightpoet

When you get to the point where you decide whether to eat what you want to, drink what you want to, and in general do what you want to - or take the medicine that messes up your head, eat foods with no salt or sugar and no taste? So you want to live longer or have fun?

Keep this in mind the next time you read about some old person who's smoked all their lives with a shot of bourbon (at least) each day and is still going strong and the age of 101.


----------



## escorial

The book I'm reading was published in 1960 but the paperback copy I have was published in 1978 an I looked at the price and I was amazed to see the halfpence..never seen that before an I'm old enough to remember that awfull coin...


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> The book I'm reading was published in 1960 but the paperback copy I have was published in 1978 an I looked at the price and I was amazed to see the halfpence..never seen that before an I'm old enough to remember that awfull coin...


You children, I remember the 1/2d with the ships on the back, and the farthing with the wren. We could actually buy two fruit salads or blackjacks for a 560th of a pound. I can remember silver coins with the 'old king' on which were made of real silver, five shillings made an ounce, that was when things really started going downhill, when they switched to cupro-nickel. A pound was originally a pound of silver back in the fourteen hundreds, five shillings was a quarter of a pound, so four hundred percent inflation in about five hundred years. Try buying an ounce of silver for twenty five new pence.


----------



## JustRob

When you remember the little things that used to have stamp duty payable on them, like receipts and cheques, and packs of playing cards had duty payable on them as well. I still have old receipts with stamps stuck on them and when I moved from London to Kent and the money in my bank account was transferred to the new branch it was followed shortly after by another transfer of fourpence, the refunded stamp duty on the two cheques that I hadn't used in my old cheque book. The duty was tuppence a cheque. Tuppence would buy a copy of the Beano when I was a lad, not that I still read it when I had a bank account, except in doctor's waiting rooms where the only alternative was usually the Woman's Weekly.


----------



## escorial

You are Highlander Olly

How many trucks did the use to transport your filthy lucre JR


----------



## Olly Buckle

Ah yes, the Beano and Dandy, and all those non-pc characters, like Lord Snooty, or the bash street kids with Plug, the ugly one, or Fatty, the overweight one.


----------



## escorial

What about captain pugwash an all the other smutty characters...master bates


----------



## Olly Buckle

Not to mention Muffin the mule.

… When you remember people joining the scouts so they could get a sheath knife and be taught how to use it responsibly. Is it just me that sees banning such things completely as most likely to make them more attractive to irresponsible boys and do nothing toward teaching them responsibility? My brother in law who was a scout master at one time said taking away their knife was the most effective way of controlling stupid behaviour there was, boys would work hard to prove they were responsible enough to get it back.

There was a time when it was a legal requirement for every man in England to own a blade that he could bring to the assistance of his Lord, but even I am not old enough to remember that.


----------



## JustRob

escorial said:


> How many trucks did the use to transport your filthy lucre JR



Only a few years after I moved to Kent I married my angel and spent all my money on the deposit for a house and the few essential items of furniture to put in it, like a bed and sofa and ... er, bed and sofa, dressing table and wardrobe ... oh yes, some kitchen chairs, not that we had a kitchen table, only my angel's sewing table on which we ate our meals. It was just big enough for the two of us. My employers gave their staff cheap mortgages as a perk, so that's how I could afford to buy the house. Having no money left after that, when I needed a new suit for the office my angel bought one for me. At least I didn't have to spend time putting up shelves as we had very little to put on them. For years the TV licensing authority kept sending us threatening letters because we didn't have a TV licence, but we didn't have a TV either, just a bed and a sofa and each other. No, actually there were two round armchairs big enough to curl up in as well. One has to get one's priorities right to have any fond memories later in life. Those were the most comfortable armchairs and sofa that we ever had. We still miss them, but now we have so much other furniture that there isn't enough space compared to when they were almost the only things in the room.



> All I want is a room somewhere
> Far away from the cold night air
> With one enormous chair
> Oh, wouldn't it be loverly ? (My Fair Lady)


----------



## escorial

Any photos...how the other alf live....


----------



## Olly Buckle

> Only a few years after I moved to Kent I married my angel and spent all my money on the deposit for a house and the few essential items of furniture to put in it, like a bed and sofa



How the other half live, when we decided to get together I spent all my money on an old coach and we parked up in an orchard. Essentials? Yes we had them, a couple of mattresses on the floor that stacked into a low level sofa during the day, and a wood burning stove which cooked our food and kept us warm.


----------



## escorial

It was the 60s Olly...sad your generation have done more damage to the world than anyone before or prob after


----------



## Olly Buckle

No, that would have been the eighties, I didn't even meet the first wife until the seventies. I always was a late developer


----------



## escorial

60,70...when the carbon footprint became one giant step for mankind..the 80s made greed the future..as always


----------



## Amnesiac

I loved the 80's. Especially the latter part of the decade. I joined the Army under Reagan; got the hell outta' there, under Clinton.


----------



## escorial

cant think of anything worse than arm to arm combat in the 80's and getting killed by a soldier with a mullet haircut...the shame of it


----------



## Amnesiac

The mullet... LMAO

I was sitting in a comfortable little pub, minding my own business, when the fella next to me starts talking. At one point in the conversation, he lets out a beery belch and says, "You know, I actually used to have the most bitchen mullet."


----------



## escorial

Have we met before..


----------



## Amnesiac

You know you're getting old when your wife says she's got a hot flash, and you keep waiting for her to show you her thousand-word story.


----------



## thefloridapoet

your Saturday night hot date is curled up next to you on the couch, her name is Louise, she's a 9 pound Chihuahua, you're watching a Netflix movie on TV, dinner is a $5 frozen Digiorno pizza with Oreo's and red wine for desert!


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you could tell the nutters in the street because they were talking to themselves, not just on a mobile with an earpiece. The ones that amuse me now are those who make wild hand gestures as they talk, like the person the other end can see them.


----------



## escorial

You go around the house turning the lights off


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> You go around the house turning the lights off



My missus does it all the time, most annoying. When a bulb was drawing 60 or 100 watts there might have been some point, but modern bulbs drawing 5 ? Pointless.

Makes me think of James Thurber's aunt who went round switching off empty sockets to 'Save a costly and dangerous leak'.


----------



## escorial

How about using sayings your parents used...like..shut the door..were you born in a barn


----------



## Kevin

Hasn't anybody heard of shutting the G.. Damned door?!


----------



## Olly Buckle

You mean, 'Put the wood in the hole'.

When you compare house prices, but with no intention of buying or selling. That is entertainment?


----------



## Amnesiac

(Daughter traipsing down the stairs, preparing to go out with her boyfriend)

Me: "OH HELL NO! Go back upstairs and change! You're not leaving the house wearing that, young lady! Jayzus, Mary, and Joseph!"


----------



## escorial

You start buying boiled sweets


----------



## Sleepwriter

When your doctor says its time for your colonoscopy


----------



## KenTR

...when the ribbon candy in the bowl on the table in your parlour has petrified.


----------



## Irwin

You know you're getting old when you're finally writing that novel you've been thinking about for decades.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you spend more time taking care of the few teeth you have left than you ever did on the full set.


----------



## Gentleman Rat

You know you're getting old when you fall and people don't laugh.


----------



## Umree

You know you're getting old when your hairline starts receding --I'm fricken' 26, come on!


----------



## sleepindawg

> dawg,
> that's the one thing missing from my life that I crave, conversation, but it has to be the right person.



For me she would need to be intelligent, but attractive is next on the requirement list.


----------



## sleepindawg

Olly Buckle said:


> When you expect lights to simply come on; instead of gradually getting brighter.



Yes! What's with that stuff? The light in my shower comes up slowly.


----------



## Irwin

You know you're getting old when you weigh the same as what you did in your 20s, but your waste is 6" bigger.  WTF?


----------



## sleepindawg

Sleepwriter said:


> When your doctor says its time for your colonoscopy



I avoid that by handing over samples. True those are required more often, but they are less invasive.


----------



## sleepindawg

Umree said:


> You know you're getting old when your hairline starts receding --I'm fricken' 26, come on!



Do you mean I'm very young? At 65 I still have a full head of hair, true it's working on turning grey, but I earned all!


----------



## Ma'am

You know you're getting old when, in your mind, you're secretly in charge everywhere you go!


----------



## JustRob

You know you're getting old when you turn the light on in the bathroom as you are leaving. I did that (yet again) yesterday. That's the trouble with pull cord switches, no discrimination.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you know what it is that makes you 'Wonder where the yellow went, when you brush your teeth …@, or what it is that 'Beats as it sweeps as it cleans'.


----------



## Chris Stevenson

You know you're getting old when you're ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road, carry more baggage than a Carnival cruise and older than Triassic Rock.

Oh WAIT! That makes me perfect for a dating site!


----------



## Ma'am

You know you're old when you wonder when people stopped snapping their fingers when they dance.


----------



## JustRob

You know you're getting old when you wonder what possible difference one more day could make to your life. I will be seventy-five later this month and recently thought about the fact that most of my life is now passed, so in principle my remaining years may not add that much, but on the other hand I still get twenty-four hours a day to achieve things like everyone else even though I may not be able to pack so much activity in as younger folk. So, should I modify my ambitions appropriately or not?

I have already drafted the first novel in my trilogy, but what point is there in completing the other novels when publishers probably prefer younger authors who will provide more works of reliable quality in the future? I know the entire saga so well that actually writing it out would now be almost a chore if it wasn't to be read and enjoyed by many people and there is no guarantee that I will ever finish it, so the risk to a publisher is simply too great. Hence I don't write any more. The fact that the story seems to contain strong evidence that the human mind actually can sense future events just adds another dimension to its possible value to understanding just what makes us special as humans though.

However, the other reason for not writing is to have more time to work on the replica of a vintage computer that I am gradually building. Whether I will ever finish that is equally in doubt, but at least by collecting together the necessary parts and working out the details of the design I may leave the project in such a state that some other enthusiast/madman might continue it. 

The key factor in such decisions is "Why me?" Why should I be the one to do these things? Well, the makings of my trilogy fell into my mind as a gift that nobody else can pass on, but equally the components, experience and enthusiasm to build the only working Honeywell 200 computer in the world, the machine that historically made IBM tremble and rush to complete the design of the IBM 360 series, also converged on me. Neither project is likely to become a legacy to posterity unless I do something about it.

Even that is not the end of my dilemma, if a dilemma can even have three possibilities. There is also my research into the lives of the wealthy Victorian family who used to own the land around where I live. I am the only person in the world who has spent years collecting together little details to build a picture of their fascinating lives, which until now remained completely unknown. However, currently my research is just a confusing directory on my computer containing extracts from newspapers, documents and registers along with maps, the significant implications of details in which are not evident. I am not an experienced historian and have no idea how to formally document what I believe to be this family's story from the clues given in the sparse evidence, so I haven't tried even though, much like my fictional trilogy, I am the only person who knows the whole story.

Each of my three projects could have an impact in some corner of society if it were completed, but how then should I spend the coming day if the number of subsequent years left are so in doubt? You know you're getting old when such thoughts cross your mind. Some say that one should live each day as though it were one's last, but I hope not to have much left to do on my last day, so that is no help at all. No, I would say to live each day as though it were the start of your last ten years. Nevertheless I may go to bed early tonight. There's always tomorrow ... isn't there?

P.S.
Shortly after posting this I checked my emails and found one notifying me that the latest copy of the house magazine of the Computer Conservation Society is now available. It is of course appropriately named "Resurrection". (Appropriately because many of the members are older than myself, I would say.) Gee, thanks guys, but I won't bank on that as a solution to my problem. However, _in my novel_ ...


----------



## Amnesiac

I knew I was old when I was old enough to be every other student's father, when I was in college. In fact, I was older than the program director for my course of study. /smh


----------



## Irwin

You know you're getting old when you're old enough to be your doctor's father. I've since switched doctors.


----------



## JasoninNV

You have a favorite spatula

Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you remember seasonal vegetables. The missus was saying that post Brexit there could be a period when we can't get Mediterranean veg. When I was a kid salads were a summer thing, lettuce, cucumber and tomato, and in winter there was swede, cabbage and carrots with, parsnip and brussels from Christmas on, in other words what grew here, usually on Dad's allotment. I remember my Mother coming home in triumph with a green pepper from the greengrocer for the first time ever.


----------



## PiP

I remember when Britain first joined the EU the euphoria over the availability of cheap wine, beer and cigarettes via the 'Booze' cruises. I wonder what will happen post Brexit.


----------



## Winston

PiP said:


> .... I wonder what will happen post Brexit.



Anarchy.  Dogs sleeping with cats.  Gnashing of teeth, rending of garments.  Or maybe, no one will really notice.  

Oh, and I know I'm getting old when every statement is an opportunity to be coarse, sour, and sarcastic.  
I guess I've been old a long time.


----------



## Amnesiac

I used to be the world's youngest dirty old man. And now, well... Just subtract the "youngest" part. LOL


----------



## KenTR

I am the world's youngest old curmudgeon, assuming that "old curmudgeonhood" begins at seventy or so.

Damn kids and their hip hop pants.


----------



## Olly Buckle

KenTR said:


> I am the world's youngest old curmudgeon, assuming that "old curmudgeonhood" begins at seventy or so.
> 
> Damn kids and their hip hop pants.



you know you are getting old when your contemporaries start expressing strident, curmudgeonly views. Personally I don't mind hot pants, hip hop pants, trousers without belts that show their pants, or even Bermuda shorts in bright colours. They are not for me, but if they want to wear them it identifies the wearers for me so I don't have to associate.


----------



## J.T. Chris

I fall asleep on the couch at like 8 o'clock.


----------



## Olly Buckle

J.T. Chris said:


> I fall asleep on the couch at like 8 o'clock.



I haven't done that since I was a young fellow who went to work all day.


----------



## sleepindawg

Irwin said:


> You know you're getting old when you're old enough to be your doctor's father. I've since switched doctors.



My cardiologist is young enough to be my son.


----------



## sleepindawg

KenTR said:


> I am the world's youngest old curmudgeon, assuming that "old curmudgeonhood" begins at seventy or so.
> 
> Damn kids and their hip hop pants.



I have my cane and I know how to shake at those young whipper-snappers.


----------



## idreamofalan

You prefer the shows your parents watched to a lot of what's currently airing.
You often wonder if 7 is too early to go to bed.


----------



## dither

When that little brown envelope with a letter from the department for work and pensions lands on the doormat. It's almost "job done" for me. The end of the road.


----------



## Olly Buckle

dither said:


> When that little brown envelope with a letter from the department for work and pensions lands on the doormat. It's almost "job done" for me. The end of the road.




Don't you believe it, "He's retired hasn't he, he'll have time to do it", "Yes and he's got a bus pass, he can go for free". Then there is, "I can't take you around the house all the time, I can't get on with my housework. Why don't you get a little part time job, the money would be handy now it's just the pension." 
It will be "Oh for the good old days when I had a proper start and finish time."


----------



## Irwin

You know you're getting old when it's two in the afternoon and you just got up from a nap.


----------



## dither

Mr.Buckle,
I see myself living like a zombie. No "set time" for anything. No sleep-time, bed-time, meal-time, no anything-time. Just eat, sleep, toilet,wash, change of clothes even, sometime, anytime,whenever-time.
Yes, I like the idea of a free bus-pass, I shall have to look into that of course but I've never been a handyman, wouldn't know, wouldn't WANT to know, how to change a plug even. Probably wouldn't say no to working a few hours a week though just to give me a reason for living. We shall see.

I have always wanted to go walk-about/bus-about/whatever about around that coastline of GB, but it just isn't possible. There is so much to consider, I mean, me and my bladder for starters, a place to sleep, personal hygiene, meals, just the absolute basics, a change of CLOTHES, look impossible. It was just a lovely wonderful dream.

I can see me sitting out my retirement just waiting for the guy with the scythe to call. Shall have to find something to occupy me.


----------



## idreamofalan

You wonder when you became so cynical.


----------



## Amnesiac

You know you're getting old when you start getting mail, at least once a quarter, from the AARP. (Association of Retired People). I don't know what the other "A" is for. "Asshole Association," maybe. Bastards.


----------



## Irwin

You watch this hot girl walking down the street and then you think, "F***, I'm old enough to be her grandfather.  !@#$%


----------



## BlondeAverageReader

When some patronising cold caller wants to sign you up for one of those emergency alert necklaces that only work up to 100 yds from your phone. I had just walked over a mile each way to my Pilates class and was trying to drink a much needed coffee so my response was brisk (as thankfully my walking still is).


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you notice that Grace Slick from Jefferson Airplane was *80 years old* yesterday. How can that be?


----------



## dither

BlondeAverageReader said:


> When some patronising cold caller wants to sign you up for one of those emergency alert necklaces that only work up to 100 yds from your phone. I had just walked over a mile each way to my Pilates class and was trying to drink a much needed coffee so my response was brisk (as thankfully my walking still is).



The last time we had a cold-caller here, it was someone trying to get people to switch their energy supplier. I just said "sorry, we don't DO begging",,, get a proper job you wipe, is what I was thinking, then shut the door. Didn't see him again.


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## idreamofalan

You can't sleep through the night in one go anymore.


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## Irwin

You start wearing suspenders because your gut prevents your pants from staying up.


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## Olly Buckle

Irwin said:


> You start wearing suspenders because your gut prevents your pants from staying up.


That's not age, just indulgence, I'm 75 and still a 10 stone weakling


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## Amnesiac

I know I'm getting old, because I spent the morning looking up stretches to cure plantar fasciitis. LOL


----------



## HandinHandTogether

When you walk to the next room to get something and when you get there you have shout back to the missus
"what did I come in here for?"


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## Irwin

Olly Buckle said:


> That's not age, just indulgence, I'm 75 and still a 10 stone weakling



I had to look up "10 stone" to find out what it means (140 pounds). It must be a British term. I weigh about what I weighed when I was 20. It's just distributed a bit differently now.


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## Olly Buckle

There used to be an advert for Charles Atlas's bodybuilding 'Tired of being a 10stone weakling and getting sand kicked in your face?'. When I was 20 I weighed in at 11stone, fourteen pounds more, but I worked on a beach teaching sailing and water ski, so it was all solid muscle. Now I suffer from Wegeners granulamatosis , which involves a lot of muscle loss, I used to ride a bike well into my late fifties and had good legs, they are stick like now, but I still don't have much tummy. Being old means slowing down, I don't walk as fast, and I don't think I can run anymore, and sometimes my balance is not good for a few moments. But I don't feel terribly different in my head. Maybe I am and the change has just been slow enough for me not to notice, but I don't think so.


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## Sustrai

You know you're getting old when you keep seeing the title of this thread
and a feeling of obligation to post to it sets itself into your mind
and refuses to leave....

...until you POST ON IT!


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## Irwin

Olly Buckle said:


> There used to be an advert for Charles Atlas's bodybuilding 'Tired of being a 10stone weakling and getting sand kicked in your face?'. When I was 20 I weighed in at 11stone, fourteen pounds more, but I worked on a beach teaching sailing and water ski, so it was all solid muscle. Now I suffer from Wegeners granulamatosis , which involves a lot of muscle loss, I used to ride a bike well into my late fifties and had good legs, they are stick like now, but I still don't have much tummy. Being old means slowing down, I don't walk as fast, and I don't think I can run anymore, and sometimes my balance is not good for a few moments. But I don't feel terribly different in my head. Maybe I am and the change has just been slow enough for me not to notice, but I don't think so.



Sorry to hear that. It sucks when our bodies fail us. I used to love to play tennis, but tendonitis in my shoulders and a torn meniscus in my knee put an end to that.


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## Olly Buckle

Thanks, but one adapts and I still get a fair bit done 

You know you are getting old when you pop into the supermarket for a pint of milk and you think '50p, blimey that's ten bob a pint, a quid a quart.'


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## KenTR

When you say "Amen" to Trollheart's avatar.


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## dither

When you go to bed, in the middle of the day, fully clothed, because you're cold.


----------



## Amnesiac

Win yew don't kneed nun of that fancy spell chuck or grandma check stuff on the new-fangled coon puter thing.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Oh, you mean when you wish they still made those good wordprocesser things?


----------



## Amnesiac

YES!!


----------



## escorial

the barber asks if you want your eyebrows trimming


----------



## Amnesiac

...or you have to ask them to trim the hair outta' your ears.


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## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> the barber asks if you want your eyebrows trimming


They usually ask me, I say, 'No, I need something to frighten small children with.'


----------



## Irwin

When the only time your hair gets in your eyes, it's hair from your eyebrows.


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## JustRob

Irwin said:


> When the only time your hair gets in your eyes, it's hair from your eyebrows.



Yes, a couple of days ago I trimmed mine with a beard trimmer after even using super strong gel didn't control them. When I want to style them more precisely I use wire cutters, but only because I do a lot of electronics, so always have a small pair to hand and can use them more precisely than scissors. 



Olly Buckle said:


> They usually ask me, I say, 'No, I need something to frighten small children with.'



Styling eyebrows can radically change one's appearance while just letting them do their own thing is more haphazard. As most of my hair is now where I can't see it they are virtually my last resort for self-expression. 

Understanding how important eyes are to one's appearance also applies at the other end of the age range for some. Recently we were about to go out to Sunday lunch at a country inn with relatives when the mother noticed that her eight year old daughter had put mascara on. She had never done it before but had done it so expertly that it was effective without being excessive, so it stayed. Some women never get their makeup right but this young lady definitely has an eye for it. (See what I did there?)


----------



## JustRob

When you don't have enough hair left to get dandruff.


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## dither

escorial said:


> the barber asks if you want your eyebrows trimming



And it sounds like they're cutting wire.


----------



## KenTR

I have one really long crazy old man eyebrow hair that keeps appearing and disappearing. I thought I clipped it last week but here it is again today. I'm going to accept it and give it a name. Harry? Too obvious. Maybe Lloyd.


----------



## bazz cargo

I'm getting old, mobile phones are just sooo wrong.


----------



## Olly Buckle

... When you remember a single cost six an eight, and think 'six and eight, thirteen and fourpence, a pound'


----------



## JustRob

Olly Buckle said:


> ... When you remember a single cost six an eight, and think 'six and eight, thirteen and fourpence, a pound'



It's even worse for me. Back in the sixties I worked in an office where we had to do complicated calculations on sterling amounts but only had hand cranked decimal calculators, so had to convert from £sd to decimal and back in our heads. Hence I sort of know that six pounds eleven and fivepence, for example, was £6.5708333 recurring (although I did check with a calculator just to avoid any embarrassment). The tricky part was rounding the decimal answers to calculations back to the nearest penny though. The solution was to try both adding and subtracting a halfpenny (£0.002083333...) to see which result looked better. Perversely electronic calculators capable of handling £sd came into existence just when we changed to decimal currency in the seventies, so didn't need the capability any more. 

Of course I also remember the old £sd joke, now meaningless to later generations, about the garbled message passed along the lines in the WWI trenches which started out as "Send reinforcements. We're going to advance," and arrived as "Send three and fourpence. We're going to a dance." Equally I doubt that modern generations comprehend the term "fourpenny one" or can even pronounce it appropriately. It is amazing just how much of British culture revolved around our unique currency. It is also amazing that it has taken so long for the guinea (£1.05) to disappear except in the most traditional contexts.

I still think of weather temperatures in Fahrenheit but more technical ones in Centigrade though and currently I am working on a carpentry project using metric measurements just to fit in with the modern materials that I'm using even though normally I still work in inches. At least having lived through the transition from practical measurement systems to modern impractical ones (Who ever needs ten or twenty-five screws for a job?) I am fluent in both. Decimalisation of common measurements came just too late when people apparently lost the ability to calculate anything in their heads and started relying on electronic devices, which can calculate equally well using any system. (If you don't believe that then consider dates.) 

That reminds me. I'm ten stone seven now, so should diet a bit. I noticed that the other day an American posted a query as to what a stone was but I equally have little idea what my weight is purely in pounds without mentally doing the calculation (147 of course it appears). Why use one big number though when two small ones are easier? Why do Australians measure the distances across their vast continent in kilometres when miles would make the numbers smaller? Why is my garage now 2767mm wide inside when it used to be much smaller, about nine feet give or take a bit? When computers see the numbers that we now use they must think that we definitely haven't evolved very far yet, but then I consider myself to be a mathematician, a person who appreciates the characteristics of numbers and number systems.

Yeah, you know you're getting old when you waste time ranting about things like this. (Note the cunning literary twist. Let's not forget why we're really here.)


----------



## Olly Buckle

> Decimalisation of common measurements came just too late when people apparently lost the ability to calculate anything in their heads and started relying on electronic devices,



I find I can usually calculate the answer in my head whilst they are still tapping numbers into their device    I got a lift once with a market trader who left school at fourteen and was completely illiterate, but so numerate. He used to draw a crowd with lots of banter and 'bundles' of goods. "I'm putting these sheets, with these pillow cases, not only that I'm adding a beautiful blanket, now I 'm not charging twenty pounds, nor ten, who will give me..." , you know the sort of spiel. He told me he knew how much he paid for stuff and kept a running total of his profit in his head all the time, asked me to try him with some arithmetic problems, he had instant answers


----------



## frosty_the_hu-man

am_hammy said:


> When your knees start to squeak!


Uh, I'm twenty and...
Nevermind, it's more of just a pop.


----------



## Olly Buckle

My right knee is really getting iffy. Made me realise that one is 'footed' as well as 'handed'. I always used to use it going up kerbs when crossing roads, pain has quite rapidly trained me to use the left one.


----------



## escorial

When your pinups become Grandma's


----------



## Olly Buckle

escorial said:


> When your pinups become Grandma's



So, if we take that possessive apostrophe at face value we could either conclude that your pin ups were men, or your Grandma likes women. Perhaps it is just a typo for the plural 'Grandmas'?


----------



## escorial

I have no idea...


----------



## Amnesiac

Grandma fooking LOVES the pinups she stole from you! LMAO!

Also, consider something as little as the humble comma. It is the difference between, "Let's eat Grandma!" and, "Let's eat, Grandma!"


----------



## seigfried007

Amnesiac said:


> Grandma fooking LOVES the pinups she stole from you! LMAO!
> 
> Also, consider something as little as the humble comma. It is the difference between, "Let's eat Grandma!" and, "Let's eat, Grandma!"



And that misplaced apostrophe... whoo, got me all excited, thinking of his granny's hoarded pin-ups. D-d-d-dang. Glad to hear your granny ain't too old for *that*.


----------



## Olly Buckle

seigfried007 said:


> And that misplaced apostrophe... whoo, got me all excited, thinking of his granny's hoarded pin-ups. D-d-d-dang. Glad to hear your granny ain't too old for *that*.



It seems there are some things you are never too old for, well so far.  

Edit: Take the test https://www.writingforums.com/threads/185313-can-you-do-this?p=2256310#post2256310


----------



## KenTR

..when you have a grunt for every occasion:

There's the sitting down grunt.
The standing up grunt.
The picking something up off the floor grunt.
The "When did laundry baskets get so heavy?" grunt.
The waking up grunt.
The "damn kids today" grunt.
The colon spasm grunt.
The "wow it sure got dark fast" grunt.
The "this costs too much" grunt
The grunt grunt.

The list gets longer every year.


----------



## escorial

when your hair falls out on your head but keeps growing everywhere else


----------



## Irwin

When you've never used 90% of the social media sites and don't know why they exist.


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you see what people think you wanted for Christmas.  (Just you wait)


----------



## dither

Olly Buckle said:


> When you see what people think you wanted for Christmas.  (Just you wait)


This is why, for so many years now, I've refused to accept gifts, in any way/shape/or form. So much hard earned cash wasted on... things. Well intended but  Pointless... things. Things that are neither liked wanted or needed. It's just stuff, clutter. As for myself, the few people that I would buy a gift for, I give them money and tell them to just put in their pockets,  treat themselves, or just let it help with the normal everyday living. The next time they buy cigarettes, a hamburger, pay a bus-fare, whatever, maybe they'll smile and think of me and just enjoy the  moment.

But that's me.


----------



## Irwin

... when you don't want to watch any more of a certain type of movie because you've seen enough of them already in your life (i.e. Mafia, zombie, vampire movies, movies where somebody is in a coma, has cancer, or has amnesia..., movies about the '70s...).


----------



## Olly Buckle

Irwin said:


> ... when you don't want to watch any more of a certain type of movie because you've seen enough of them already in your life (i.e. Mafia, zombie, vampire movies, movies where somebody is in a coma, has cancer, or has amnesia..., movies about the '70s...).



I don't think I have ever watched any of any of those sortd of movie, and I have had enough already.


----------



## Winston

Every song that you like, and listen to, you have that internal dialogue:

"Is he still alive?  Nope, dead."


----------



## dither

Winston said:


> Every song that you like, and listen to, you have that internal dialogue:
> 
> "Is he still alive?  Nope, dead."



I often find myself wondering where they are now, if they're still alive, and thinking wouldn't tracking some of those old stars down make for a great tv programme. Where are they now?


----------



## Greg William

When people start calling you "sir". It's minor, but still.


----------



## dither

Greg William said:


> When people start calling you "sir". It's minor, but still.



Yeah, I've experienced some of that. It seems weird.


----------



## Dan Rhys

Even though I don't see myself as old, I started to feel that way when I realized I was older than pretty much all the biggest celebrities. It helped me realize that, yep, my potential day in the sun zipped right by me.


----------



## TL Murphy

in pictures of your adult parents, they are younger than your kids.


----------



## dither

I'm not sure if what I'm about to type belongs here, I only know that this a very recent development:

*FLATULENCE.*

Every time I pee, without exception, I break wind, it really clatters, and it doesn't smell of roses.


----------



## escorial

when you look on zoopla for a bungalow


----------



## escorial

When your skate board was a Deluxe 1977 surf flyer


----------



## RWK

When you read about historical leaders, and realize you've already lived longer than they did.


----------



## dither

RWK said:


> When you read about historical leaders, and realize you've already lived longer than they did.



Tell you what RWK,

So many people, so much younger than me, dying or suffering with debilitating conditions/diseases/situations and yet, here I am, disgustingly healthy. As well as any  person  my age could/should reasonably expect.


----------



## RWK

dither said:


> Tell what RWK,
> 
> So many people, so much younger than me, dying or suffering with debilitating conditions/diseases/situations and yet, here I am, disgustingly healthy. As well as any  person  my age could/should reasonably expect.



Same here.

But the other day it occurred to me that I have lived longer the Adolf Hitler.


----------



## Olly Buckle

RWK said:


> Same here.
> 
> But the other day it occurred to me that I have lived longer the Adolf Hitler.



That's a fun game, I beat Mussolini. World leaders tend to get looked after and live long if they die natural deaths though.

Edit. Stalin only made 70 though, I'm 76.


----------



## escorial

I quiteliked the number 19  until recently...it's followed me for years...git cud kill me we now


----------



## Amnesiac

Nothing will make you feel older than having plantar fasciitis. Ugh... You dodder around like you're 85 years old. Crap.


----------



## Olly Buckle

Can't get to page 128, so posting to see if it takes me there.

Edit. That did it.


----------



## KenTR

When you finish dinner and feel like going to bed.

Also, when you can't get to page 128.:grin:


----------



## Olly Buckle

Amnesiac said:


> Nothing will make you feel older than having plantar fasciitis. Ugh... You dodder around like you're 85 years old. Crap.



Sounds nasty, I have problems with my feet (You wouldn't believe the problems I 'ave with me feet). Small vein vasculitis means poor blood supply at extremities and for nerves, I keep getting infections around my big toe nails and bits of my foot go dead at times, then pins and needles. Not as bad as that though I bet, sometimes I get a swollen tendon in my hand and that's bad enough.


----------



## LCLee

I’m in failure mode, so I’m trying to level the damage. I need potassium, but it’s bad for my kidneys. Pepsi seems to stop the Parkinson shakes, but the hip is killing me. And I can’t take Aleve. I’m supposed to take a small aspirin every day, but it makes my wet macular degeneration worse. Not to mention problems from colitis and diverticulitis. Still the heart is good, it just runs off on its own sometimes. The hope is to have it all fail at once, as a wait for COVID 19 to come around.


----------



## Amnesiac

Ollie, that sounds awful. 

Hang in there, LCLee.

I guess you know you're getting old when you sit around and talk about your respective maladies. LOL


----------



## Olly Buckle

Amnesiac said:


> I guess you know you're getting old when you sit around and talk about your respective maladies. LOL



Strangely the worst thing that happened to me was before I was even a minute old. The nurse who delivered me had been knocked off her bike by the blast from a V2 and was suffering shell shock. she put me down in a crib that she had just put a hot water bottle filled with boiling water in. 76 years later I still have the biggest scar I have ever seen. There is always a silver lining, Barnet hospital where I was taken had been a front line hospital right through the blitz and the Battle of Britain and were probably the most skilled hospital in the world at treating burns at the time.

You know you are getting old when they were still fighting WWll when you were born.


----------



## Ma'am

Hot flashes. Omg. It's like you're just going about your business when suddenly out of nowhere, you get a fever of about 104 degrees (that's 40 degrees for the Brits). Repeatedly.

Also, the feet. Incurved toenails, coldness, numbness, pins and needles, cramps. What is the deal with the feet?!

And memory problems.

However, knock on wood, I am also calmer and happier, with far less responsibility or stress.


----------



## Tyrisalthan

You know you are getting old when you have friends who are younger than your most recent hobby you started.


----------



## Bloggsworth

You're denied a ventilator... Happening in a hospital near you.


----------



## Ma'am

Teeth! If I eat any sugar at all, a few hours laters my gums will hurt. I guess the sugar feeds bacteria. My gums will also hurt by the end of the day anyway. The only thing that fixes the pain is flossing. I've already had gum grafts to correct the receding gumline but the gum grafts just seem to be looser from the teeth than the original gums were. As they say, once a perio patient, always a perio patient. Do any of you older peeps NOT have trouble with your gums/teeth?


----------



## Olly Buckle

Ma'am said:


> Do any of you older peeps NOT have trouble with your gums/teeth?



Only with the few that are original, the ones the dentist made are fine.


----------



## escorial

When your clothes come back into fashion


----------



## Olly Buckle

When you do a hard day's work and wake up next morning with everything aching or hurting. Ouch!

When you remember The Light programme, The Home Service and The Third Programme, and there was no commercial television.


----------



## Amnesiac

I've gotta' say, unless my bones begin to shrink, I'll probably have my teeth until the day I die. I've never even had a cavity.


----------



## escorial

When people your age look much older than you


----------



## PiP

When you wonder if you qualify for life-support under the NHS hospital point system.


----------



## dither

escorial said:


> When people your age look much older than you



I sometimes look at people when I'm out who are, certainly not older than me, and I think " god he's looking his age ".


----------



## escorial

PiP said:


> When you wonder if you qualify for life-support under the NHS hospital point system.



just keep a pac of Trevor xxx strong mints in your handbag


----------



## Amnesiac

Funny... I look at people I've gone to school with, who look AWFUL! Years of hard drinking, tanning booths, sun damage, smoking, and substance abuse have taken their toll. Someone said that by the time we're 50, we have the face we deserve. I've taken pretty good care of myself, my years in the Army notwithstanding, but it's astounding how awful these people look!


----------



## escorial

I put coconut oil on in the morning as I like to smell like a bounty bar an use baby cream at night to give me the complextion of a smacked arse..


----------



## dither

Conversation between my wife and I earlier today:

Wife, thinking aloud  when fetching in the bins, sets down the food-bin:  " Food-bin."

Me............................................................." SUE's been?", pronounced sue's bin.

Wife........................................................... "FOOD-bin"


----------



## Winston

You realize that your son is large enough to kick your ass.
But thankfully, he's mature enough to resist the impulse.


----------



## Amnesiac

I told my son a few years back: "Go for it. Sooner or later, you have to sleep."


----------



## RWK

When you realize that you are older than every General and Admiral in your nation's military.


----------

