# Car Troubles



## Chesters Daughter (Jun 23, 2011)

Turn of key
educes
that dreaded grinding sound.
Starter's on strike again.
Right rear tire
resembles the plains
and the engine light
screams scarlet.

Stuck in my damned
sagging parking space,
immobile, yet again.

Another trip to the shop,
lights on the tow truck
flashing.
Quick call to my mechanic
(number one on speed dial)
to let him know
I'm on my way.

He stomps in,
his trusty toolbox
clad in fine imported leather
secure in a manicured hand.
His favored gauge
slung about his neck.

He trails his hand
across scarred upholstery
saying,
"I know a guy who'll fix this,
good as new,
and dirt cheap, too."

He clicks on his flashlight
peeks under the hood
scribbles away
and proclaims,
"You're leaking again,
all your fluids are low.
A quart of this and that
and you'll be good to go."

Shaking his head,
his face creased in a grimace,
he soberly remarks,
"It's such a shame
you can't junk this lemon."

I stare him down
with eyes of desert sand,
indignant fists pleading
for free rein
as a barrage of curses
clamor for release
from the prison of my mouth.

How dare he insult
my broken-down jalopy
fashioned of 
flesh and blood.

It's all I've got.


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## Firemajic (Jun 23, 2011)

Lisa--When I saw the title "Car Troubles" I did not know just what to expect--I knew it would be good and it is!The eighth stanza--poetry at it's absolute best.Loved this. I always look forward to reading your work and am always enthralled by your choice of subject matter---Peace Jul


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## Chiefspider (Jun 23, 2011)

I completely agree with the above, awesome piece - and fitting to, my car has been broke down for quite some time lol. vary good work as usual XD


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 23, 2011)

This piece is not what it seems and is intentionally deceptive. The automotive references are actually an extended metaphor. I'm not ready to spill the beans yet, but the best clue as to what's really going on is in the final stanza. Happy hunting, guys, this one isn't easy.

Dear Jul, Mum's the word, love, I know I told you exactly what it is, but please don't say anything yet. Thank you so much for your kind words.


Dear Chief, Truth be told, this is an old piece that got swept away in the cleanse, but I'm very fond of it and wanted it back in my coffer. Last time around, most of the readers thought I was speaking about an actual car and only a few saw through my deliberate smokescreen. When I was writing it, I never realized it could be taken literally, it was a pleasant surprise to find out. I love when pieces turn out to be bogo, buy one get one free, lol. Not an actual car, love, as I said, the best clue is in the final stanza. I appreciate your kind words, also. This isn't an easy one to decipher, I'm curious to see if anyone figures it out, but eventually I'll 'fess up.

Thanks to you both for sharing your precious time with me.

All the best,
Lisa


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## Angel101 (Jun 23, 2011)

I love the metaphor. The car being compared to a body (a person). I will give you a thorough review of it later, but I wanted to drop by and let you know that I liked it. Thanks for posting this again. So many great pieces got taken away in the cleanse, it seems. Hope all is okay with you.


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## Nenada (Jun 23, 2011)

When I read it I thought of a woman's body, after having children, changing shape etc.- in this man's eyes it's 'broken down'.  Really interesting use of metaphor, and there could be so many meanings to it.  Loved it


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## SilverMoon (Jun 23, 2011)

Lisa, I remember reading this way back when and it still grabs me. How could I forget? Such a brilliant metaphor. Firing up the old engine isn't as easy as it used to be. And aren't doctors sometimes fumbling mechanics? Finding that out more and more these days _wink_


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 23, 2011)

The last line is such a powerful way to end. It, to me, came off as an almost sad plea of self convincing. I really liked it. Strong metaphor, cleverly done.


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## toddm (Jun 24, 2011)

Lisa, great piece - I was relating to the auto references, then saw the flesh and blood at the end and got it - very effective, glad you waited until the end to reframe it all - 
only "nit", as you say, is "trusty toolbox" - in the long chain of fresh and unique wordsmithing in this piece, this phrase seemed to stand out as, well, unfresh : ) but that stanza does paint a great picture of the gentleman, and I can see him very vividly through your words : )
---todd


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## candid petunia (Jun 24, 2011)

Nice work, Lisa. Wonderful ending, had to read the poem again after that. Loved the metaphor. 




> It's all I've got.


True.


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## Gumby (Jun 24, 2011)

No chance of giving it away now.  I enjoyed the metaphor greatly and love the way you extended it throughout, very skilfully done.


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## Firemajic (Jun 24, 2011)

OOOH yeah---What Gumby said!!very skillfully done my Dear!   Peace--Jul


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## Bachelorette (Jun 25, 2011)

I wasn't sure about this when I first read it, but it improves upon multiple readings. To me, it seems to be more about body image than anything else, maybe even someone who is anorexic or bulimic (thus the trip to the hospital). The speaker is trapped inside her (or his - but since you're female, I'm just going to go with "she") body that she hates and is starving herself to try and make it more acceptable, less of a "lemon." But, it's all she's got, so even in her self-loathing, she wants to defend her body; or maybe, defend her right to do what she wants with it (i.e., if she wants to starve herself to try and be thin, she ought to be allowed to do so, even though it's dangerous for her health). There also seems to be some sexual imagery in there as well, but maybe I've just got e.e. cummings' "she being brand new" on the brain, since it also compares a woman's body to a car.

Anyway, like I said, improves upon several readings. Thanks for sharing. :cat:


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## wood (Jun 25, 2011)

ah, this is nice.  great images, great word play.  i loved everything about it, except the last two lines.  having the switch thrown at me at the last minute kind of ruined it for me, i liked the subject of the poem before it changed.  made it's just me, i'm just burned out on extended metaphors. i guess.  other then that, i thought this was great work.

wood


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 28, 2011)

Forgive the font, I have no idea what's going on.

Again, I must indulge in brevity for the sake of getting current. I am so very pleased that so many of you figured it out. I have always considered my flesh to merely be a vehicle I use to get around in this plane of existence. My essence has nothing to do with my jalopy, this is just a temporary state of being. I know my choice of metaphor seems odd so I thought a bit of explanation was in order.

Dear Bay, Of course I knew the Mistress of Metaphor would catch on, lol. I'm glad you enjoyed, hon. As for the cleanse, seventy six pieces of mine got washed away, half of which I'm very happy are gone because they were complete crap, the other half, not so much.


Dear Nenada, I loved your interpretation, it gives the piece more worth in my eyes, and it fits. Actually, illness and surgeries are the culprits here, but when I think about it, having four kids took its toll, also, so you've given me more insight into myself. Thank you so much.


Dear Laurie, Thank you, love, I'm honored you remember this one. Doctors are incompetent fools who care more about their bank accounts than their patients. I abhor the lot of them. Believe or not, my jerk of a surgeon actually did tell me it was too bad I couldn't trade my body in. Just what I needed to hear, idiot. Sorry, rant over.


Dear SG, Very astute observation regarding the last line. I do my best to pretend I'm okay, but when I have inadequate medical professionals pointing out how screwed I really am, I become hard pressed to convince myself of my lies. The last line is really quite desperate and I'm elated you caught it.


Dear Todd, I'm happy waiting until the end paid off. You're right about trusty toolbox, and to be honest, I hadn't noticed until you brought it up. It will definitely need to be freshened up, lol, I've dug around in my mind, but nothing's clicked yet. Thanks for pointing it out, and for your kind words.


Dear Farah, I'm so happy you loved the metaphor and that the last line worked for you. See, I told you it would get easier.


Dear Cin, Skillfully done is music to my ear when it's uttered by your lips, you always carry your metaphors so beautifully. Thanks for keeping mum until the cat was out of the bag, love.


Dear Jul, Thanks for revisiting, hon, and for keeping mum, also.


Dear Bachelorette, Your interpretation is also an eye opener, and also very plausible. I figured "your fluids are low" set you in that direction, dehydration can definitely be attributed to eating disorders. So again, the piece gains worth in my eyes. I agree upon the initial read this piece is a bit humdrum, only with subsequent reads can the clues be fleshed out, but without the last stanza changing the entire thing, the reader wouldn't think there was anything worth looking for. Saving the truth until the end, unfortunately or fortunately, I can't decide which, lol, sends the reader back for multiple reads. I avoid sexual references like the plague and very rarely use them, I'm curious to know where they may lie if you have a sec. Again, appreciate your time and trouble, I am grateful you explore my pieces in such depth.


Dear Wood, I'm so sorry the twist ruined it for you, you're a car lover then, yes? I'm glad you still found merit in it despite the fact that I turned it upside down.


My sincere thanks to all for sharing your precious moments with me.

All the best,
Lisa


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## Bachelorette (Jun 28, 2011)

> I avoid sexual references like the plague and very rarely use them, I'm curious to know where they may lie if you have a sec.



Probably they only lie in my own frequently impure thoughts, hehe. And, like I said, your poem brought to mind the e.e. cummings one I mentioned, which is replete with sexual imagery, albeit in that case intentionally. 

I just read through it again, and I didn't find anything that seemed sexual except, maybe, this bit:



ChestersDaughter said:


> He trails his hand
> across scarred upholstery
> saying,
> "I know a guy who'll fix this,
> ...



This stanza I had interpreted as a suggestion that you cheer yourself up with a meaningless roll-in-the-hay with someone your doctor-mechanic friend can hook you up with. But again, I was reading it as being about body image, which is probably why I took it that way. 

So, yeah. Just forget I said anything. ;-)


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 28, 2011)

I shoulda checked out the e.e. cummings poem, duh. I must admit I like your interpretation a lot better, I gave up on body image to save my insanity, the part in question refers to my abdomen which is a map of huge scars. I couldn't get someone to give me a roll in the hay for dirt cheap, that's for sure, lol. And the doc actually did say that, he has a friend who is a plastic surgeon. See, my mind is far from pure, also. Thank you, love, you've made my day.


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## J.R. MacLean (Jun 28, 2011)

hey lisa

all our 'jalopies' break down, sicken and die- I got wise as soon as I read 'manicured fingers'- ain't no mechanic in the world got those unless he's a real body-shopper. Best wishes with everything, conventional medicine has its place and god knows the quacks grow thick in the alternative medicine field- but our town has a few good ones in each and I'm sure yours does too. I'm confident you and your old jalopy will find your ways.

cheers
J.R.


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## Squalid Glass (Jun 28, 2011)

I completely agree with bachelorette. I thought the sexual imagery was everywhere and very reminiscent of cummings.


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## shadows (Jun 29, 2011)

Good use of metaphor.  I think the last verse not only reveals that it is your body you are talking about but shows acceptance and defence of what life has dealt you after the doc's "I know someone who can fix it dirt cheap".  Kind of two fingers in the air to his cold dissmissive attitude.


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## Jinxi (Jun 29, 2011)

The instant I see a poem written by you I am drawn in. I love the way in which you write and your humour is just brilliant. Thank you for sharing your wonderful work with us Lisa.


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## jpatricklemarr (Jun 29, 2011)

Haven't been around much at all of late, but I saw this and had to read it. Nothing I can add to what's already been said. The imagery is wonderful and, though the duality may be deceptive at first, I think it's clear by the end. I can't imagine anyone who has been through the medical wringer not finding themselves in this piece, which makes it a powerful thing. Your willingness to be transparent with such hard truths is what makes you wonderful, dear. Don't change a thing.


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## Chesters Daughter (Jun 30, 2011)

Dear J.R., I can't thank you enough for your kind reply. I had hoped manicured would be a give away. Unfortunately, the old jalopy suffered a severe case of literal body rot, there's no fixing what's been eaten away, but like anything, ya get used to it and make do. Betcha if I were rich I could find a Frankenstein willing to take me on, spare parts abound in the right circles. lol. Thanks so much again, love.


Dear SG, Obviously, I need to read more cummings. I need to take off the blinders and view this with virgin eyes and perhaps I'll see it also. I'm sure you'll agree, when it comes to your own stuff, you know what you intend and it's difficult to step outside the box. Perhaps I'm frustrated in more ways than one and my subconscious is sending a subtle shout out, lol, good Lord, I can't even go there, lol again.


Dear shadows, Thanks so much, you hit the nail directly on the head. The surgeons in particular are non-feeling and condescending, of twenty two, I found only one who resembled anything human. I thank the Lord daily for Dr. N, he was the only one who didn't treat me like a lab rat or a living textbook. The rest certainly deserve those fingers and then some.


Dear Jinxi, You've stunned me silent, my dear. I really don't know what to say, that's a rarity, indeed. Mere words are far too meager, but if I could hug you, I'd probably snap you in two. That's all I got, love.


Dear Jeff, I've missed you terribly, once your book is on the shelves, I hope you'll be back more regularly, I'm a little lost without you. Truly appreciate your glowing words, Preacherman, and that you think it's accessible thrills me. As for transparent, in the flesh I'm far from it, but words deliver me from myself, if that makes any sense. Without the ability to siphon some of it, I would undoubtedly be insane, of that I'm sure. Everyone here allows me to slip off the mask and be me, which is a luxury that can't be equaled. The empathy offered up by all here has bolstered my spine and kept me going. That said, I pray that blessings rain upon you all every night, without my fine friends here, my body would plod on, but the real me would be dead.

Thanks to all with all my heart.

Lisa


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