# Look



## ArrowInTheBowOfTheLord (Aug 22, 2015)

Out in the desert
With the night burning down,

The hills on the horizon are not far away,
And the constellations, all 
in the shape of a Cross,
The stars are very near to us;

Out in the desert
With the night burning down.


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## escorial (Aug 22, 2015)

i'm thinking the crux of the piece lies in the line.....in the shape of the cross...


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## Mesafalcon (Aug 23, 2015)

Nice one, I enjoyed it. 

... I looked.


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## Firemajic (Aug 23, 2015)

Beautiful imagery! Arrow, this is lovely... write on... Peace..


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## Arthur G. Mustard (Aug 23, 2015)

A nice piece with good imagery. I particularly like the first two lines, which were then used to close it, nice touch.


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## jenthepen (Aug 23, 2015)

I like this, it feels like a message.

Maybe you could lose the 'And' at the start of the last line in the second stanza?


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## mytickledwords (Aug 23, 2015)

I really like this piece.  There's some nice imagery and I especially love how well the repetition works.


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## Bloggsworth (Aug 23, 2015)

escorial said:


> i'm thinking the crux of the piece lies in the line.....in the shape of the cross...



Boom Boom.

"Night burning" doesn't chime with any deserts I know, they're usually very cold at night, no cloud cover to retain the heat. Pedantic I know, but what can I do...


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## ArrowInTheBowOfTheLord (Aug 23, 2015)

jenthepen: Good idea. It runs more smoothly now and looks better on the page.

Bloggsworth: Fair point, but I was more thinking of how the light of the stars comes down to earth--a less literal kind of burning.

All: Thank you so very much!


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## musichal (Aug 23, 2015)

ArrowInTheBowOfTheLord said:


> Out in the desert
> With the night burning down...
> 
> The hills, on the horizon
> ...



I liked this poem immediately.  I suggest a few small changes in the middle section with an eye toward the meter of the repetitive lines.


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## Smith (Aug 24, 2015)

Bloggsworth said:


> Boom Boom.
> 
> "Night burning" doesn't chime with any deserts I know, they're usually very cold at night, no cloud cover to retain the heat. Pedantic I know, but what can I do...



Could it be the burning of the cold? ;D

Beautiful poem! For some reason reminded me of the Crusades, but I'm weird like that.


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## Terry D (Aug 24, 2015)

As an amateur astronomer, I'm a sucker for celestial poetry. This one rolls nicely through the brain. I also like the book-end structure.


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## ArrowInTheBowOfTheLord (Aug 25, 2015)

Smith and Terry D-- Thank you both.


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