# Screaming Silently



## Winston (May 12, 2013)

This local guy was mugged yesterday.  Stuff happens, right?  The thing was, dozens of people were nearby.  No one helped.  When the victim had a chance to call the cops, they told him no one had even called to report the crime.  Not one person.  His was the first call.

So I decide to watch the ball game, and take my mind off things.  Before the game, the team is collecting baseball gloves for local poor kids.  They collected a lot of them.  Stacks and stacks of leather for the little urchins.  I'm thinking, just maybe, people will do the right thing... just because.
Nope.
The team gave away special "commemorative pins" to every fan that donated a glove.  Just a little "thank you", of course.

I look around, and it appears that all altruistic, good deeds, must have incentives.  Can anyone tell me why these gun buybacks must offer fifty to one hundred dollars?  I mean, if you have some dangerous items sitting in your closet, shouldn't you just want to get rid of it?  Hec, you should be paying THEM a disposal fee.
When I get the free time (very infrequently), I give blood.  They offer these little "Be Nice To Me, I Gave Blood" stickers to wear.  This begs two obvious questions:  Why would I need to brag after doing "the right thing", and why would I ask someone to be nice to me?  Really?  We need to ask people to be nice, and must offer a valid reason for such consideration?

Yes, negative, depressing Winston is back.  Why?  Today, my wife forces me to listen to her "uplifting" Christian music station.  In between songs, some bimbo relates this story on how she became a writer.  I tried to filter out her banal blather, but her peppy cackle cracked me.  She bragged about a graduation gift her mom gave her, to encourage her writing.  He mom save some insipid book she wrote whe she was five.  Something about ponies, or some related rubbish.

My mom passed on a few years ago, and she never gave a rat's stern quarters about my writing.  My dad, well, he used to at least feign interest in my literary endeavors.  Now he just watches a lot of TV, and sleeps.  
Today, as the bimbo author "inspired" the audience with her tale of success, my wife was clueless.  My face drooped, I slumped in the car seat.  Eventually, she asked what was wrong.  I felt like screaming at her that the fact she had to ask was what was wrong, _was wrong_.

I've given up a lot to take care of my family.  All I ever asked was some time to write.  Sure, some encouragement would have been nice.  A while back, I basically just gave up.  I lied, and told myself that sometime I'd find, or make the time.  But something always comes up.

It looks like the world has mugged me.  My family stands there, like those people with their cell phones, too indifferent to intervene, or make a call.  I really wish I had a pin, or $50 dollars to offer, to make them care.  Maybe I'll go to the printing shop and have some stickers made up: "Be Nice to Me, I'm a Failed Writer."

Well, it's Ten AM, and I'm ready for another Kahlua and coffee.  Playing hooky from church is fun.  Maybe later, I'll find some garbage on TV to watch, and fall asleep.  Just like my old man.  

And maybe some Bailey's in the next cup...


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## JosephB (May 12, 2013)

Baseball teams give trinkets away all the time for just showing up -- I see nothing wrong with acknowledging a donation. No big deal. It wouldn't occur to me that there was a problem with it. They're doing it for PR anyway -- and the kids benefit regardless. Same with getting a t-shirt or whatever when you give blood -- they do it to publicize the need to give blood more than anything else. The "Be Nice To Me..." thing is for fun -- not meant to be taken seriously. Where I give, a local BBQ joint gives out free sandwiches as a good will gesture -- but I don't give blood to get a free sandwich.

My folks never really cared about my writing one way or the other -- I think they just saw it as a pleasant hobby. Nice to have, but I'm really way past the point where I would need any kind of approval or encouragement from my parents anyway. 

My wife is fine with my writing -- realizes it's something I enjoy -- but she doesn't really encourage it and is fairly blase about it. Otherwise, I find the time to do it -- and it doesn't affect my other responsibilities. My wife has her things and I have mine -- and we try to accommodate each other when possible -- but neither of us get to spend as much time as we'd like pursuing our interests. That's just part of the deal and something I can live with. Life goes on. If I "fail" at writing, I'll have no one to blame but myself.

PS -- We've all heard stories of the violent street crime and no one calling the cops. They've been around since long before cell phones. I'm betting we hear about them because it's the exception, not the rule. People calling the cops when a crime has been committed  isn't news. But if you go out of your way to see the worst in people -- that's what you're going to see.


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## Kevin (May 12, 2013)

Whinny old boy, where've you been?  Nice little blurb for a non (active) writer. Lowered testosterone, jaded with age, a lack of human understanding (we're a corrupt, selfish lot: _E__mpty your pockets or I'll whack you...) ? _I ask myself those daily. 'Regrets? Welcome to mid-life crissis,' my friend says. 'Wait till you're my age.' lol.  Nice to hear from you. Happy Mother's Day.


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## nerot (May 12, 2013)

Must be something in the air today. Sad to say I get it. Glad that you are back writing and posting.


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## Ariel (May 12, 2013)

"Ain't no rest for the wicked, money don't grow on trees, I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed, ain't nothing in this world for free."

--Cage the Elephant "Ain't No Rest for the Wicked."

Sad but true.


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## Leyline (May 12, 2013)

You either write or you don't. Expecting encouragement is kind of precious.


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## Winston (May 14, 2013)

Leyline said:


> You either write or you don't. Expecting encouragement is kind of precious.



Unusual choice of words:  *pre·cious*

[presh-uh
	

	
	
		
		

		
			








s]   
   adjective
1. of high price or great value; very valuable or costly: precious metals.  
2. highly esteemed for some spiritual, nonmaterial, or moral quality: precious memories.  
3. dear; beloved: a precious child.  
4. affectedly or excessively delicate, refined, or nice: precious manners. 
5. flagrant; gross: a precious fool. 

So, forgive me if I'm confused.  I am a simple man.  Which of those definitions did you intend?  One through Four are the standard usages.  If you intended the Fifth, can you explain how desiring (NOT expecting) encouragement is flagrant, or gross?

Or perhaps you meant _precocious? _As a WF Veteran, you may be communicating on a level that's beyond me.

Either you write _well_ or you don't.


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## JosephB (May 14, 2013)

“affectedly or excessively delicate”

I’d say that does it.


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## ppsage (May 14, 2013)

JosephB said:


> “affectedly or excessively delicate”
> 
> I’d say that does it.


I love this usage. I predict it will eventually crowd out the others.


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## JosephB (May 14, 2013)

Heh. We use it at work all the time -- if a design is too ornate or if a concept is too cute etc. It's close to #4 -- but there’s no _exact_ correlation to the dictionary definition. But I work with sharp people who have a good command of the language -- some are writers and they make a good living doing it -- and we all get it. It’s perfectly possible to expand the meaning of a word with context -- people who “write well” and readers who can keep up know that.


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## Kevin (May 14, 2013)

#4 sounds archaic, like something Blanche Dubois would say. Perhaps it is more common in S_outhern _usage. We use #1 and #2, maybe #3; never 4 or 5.


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## JosephB (May 14, 2013)

So? Anyone who understands what's being discussed -- and who then goes to the additional trouble of looking up the definition should be able to see which usage applies.

The problem the OP has is that someone made an accurate and pointed assessment. He doesn't want to accept it -- so he's trying to find fault with the statement and the person who said it. That's pretty obvious. 

And the idea that George or anyone who got the comment would confuse precious with precocious is hilarious.


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## moderan (May 14, 2013)

Harlan said it best
This became a cause celebre in the mid-60s after the Kitty Genovese incident. You may google "the Bystander Effect". But read the story.
If cynicism is failed idealism, you're getting there, Winston.


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## Kevin (May 14, 2013)

JosephB said:


> So? Anyone who understands what's being discussed -- and who then goes to the additional trouble of looking up the definition should be able to see which usage applies.
> 
> The problem the OP has is that someone made an accurate and pointed assessment. He doesn't want to accept it -- so he's trying to find fault with the statement and the person who said it. That's pretty obvious.
> 
> And the idea that George or anyone who got the comment would confuse precious with precocious is hilarious.


 It just struck me as an odd usage but then I live in a foreign(part of..) country 

and part two is therefore not obvious...so there.


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## Leyline (May 14, 2013)

Yep, number 4. Pardon my knowledge of words and all.


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## Leyline (May 14, 2013)

Kevin said:


> #4 sounds archaic, like something Blanche Dubois would say. Perhaps it is more common in S_outhern _usage. We use #1 and #2, maybe #3; never 4 or 5.



One day you'll understand that only Southern people _matter_.


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## moderan (May 15, 2013)

I see silly season has arrived in earnest. Even in WF.


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## Deleted member 49710 (May 15, 2013)

Despite being from a very northerly area, I am well familiar with the use of "precious" to denote a sort of "naive/spoiled" combo.

However, I do sympathize with Winston. Sometimes I feel as though my professional/responsible life is consuming my creative life, and it frustrates me and makes me think I'm doing everything terribly wrong. And I am relatively lucky in that there is overlap between my work and my writing.


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## Winston (May 15, 2013)

Well, there it is.

I missed an obscure Southern idiom, or archaic slang.  I suppose I should forget about that epic "Civil War On Ice" screenplay I've been working on.

So, I'm harmlessly venting, feel depressed, and a handful of sadists want to kick me while I'm down.  Perhaps the intent is to get me to "rage quit", since I am so delicate.  I don't know why some people act this way. I haven't studied the DSVM, and I don't understand the need for some to elevate themselves by stepping on others.

I do know that there are a lot of good people here.  A few inconsiderate, condescending, cruel remarks will not silence me, nor drown out the voices of the kind and genuine.  I apologize if what I say somehow offends, and brings out the "pack mentality" in a few.  All I know is when I hurt people, it's usually not on purpose.  I don't think some of you can honestly say that. 

Regardless, I'm not "delicate", even though I have feelings... and the bad judgment to share them.  With some.


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## JosephB (May 15, 2013)

I’m sorry – but the idea that you’re going to get an outpouring of sympathy from people who keep writing despite responsibilities and the indifference of loved ones is indeed “precious.” (I feel safe using the word now that we all know what it means in this context.)

The meaning of the offending sentiment was clear to begin with – if you’re serious about writing, you’ll do it -- with or without encouragement. There’s nothing “cruel” about saying that. And the same goes with balancing responsibilities and writing -- the people who really want to write find the time to do it.

I’ve been around writing sites a while and when anybody moans about this the response is almost always the same. Quit whining and write -- or not. It’s up to you. Saying that is not sadistic and doesn’t demonstrate some need that people have to “elevate themselves." That’s just too funny.

And more than one person expressing the same thing doesn’t amount to a “pack mentality” --  even if everyone isn’t being all peaches and cream about. A thick skin is pretty much a requirement for a writer -- I suggest you grow one.

Another thing that’s funny is this hurt act coming from someone who calls a writer who has actually accomplished something a “bimbo,”  tries to belittle someone for using a word in a way he doesn’t understand, questions the motivations of people who try to do something nice for poor kids etc. etc. I mean come on -- listen to yourself. Classic case of someone who can dish it out but can’t take it. And pretty odd to think that's the kind of attitude and tone that will invite sympathy.

 So hey, while you’re printing up those stickers, print one for me that says, “Be nice to me, I tried to give Winston a reality check.”


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## Winston (May 15, 2013)

JosephB said:


> I’m sorry – but the idea that you’re going to get an outpouring of sympathy from people who keep writing despite responsibilities and the indifference of loved ones is indeed “precious.” (I feel safe using the word now that we all know what it means in this context.)
> 
> The meaning of the offending sentiment was clear to begin with – if you’re serious about writing, you’ll do it -- with or without encouragement. There’s nothing “cruel” about saying that. And the same goes with balancing responsibilities and writing -- the people who really want to write find the time to do it.
> 
> ...



There's just too much there to refute.  I just have one simple question:

Have you even ever tried to be kind?  Once?  

I don't want your damn sympathy.  I simply thought I could safely vent, and other writers might offer a plain "hang in there".  You "being around" and defining "whining" is "laughable".  Arbiter of all things moral and just now? I'll grow a thicker skin when some people grow a soul.

Since you already know all things, the following will come as no surprise:  My mom fought depression for many years, and it runs in her side of the family.  My Uncle Norman committed suicide at a young age and my sisters are on seratonin meds.  To top it off, my wife is now taking anti-anxiety meds.  So I'm worried about my kids being susceptible to depression.  Occasionally, I have a bad day or two.

So hey, thanks for the "reality check", but I already knew the world was littered with jerks.


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## PiP (May 15, 2013)

Winston said:


> I've given up a lot to take care of my family.  All I ever asked was some time to write.  Sure, some encouragement would have been nice.  A while back, I basically just gave up.  I lied, and told myself that sometime I'd find, or make the time.  But something always comes up.
> 
> It looks like the world has mugged me.  My family stands there, like those people with their cell phones, too indifferent to intervene, or make a call.  I really wish I had a pin, or $50 dollars to offer, to make them care.  Maybe I'll go to the printing shop and have some stickers made up: "Be Nice to Me, I'm a Failed Writer."
> 
> ...



Hi Winston, please forgive me but I was under the impression you were looking for a kick up the behind from fellow writers because your family were not giving the support you crave. Sometimes as humans we have to be cruel to be kind. Do we climb in the well of despair with you, or do we as fellow writers throw a rope in the well and offer positive solutions?



Winston said:


> Have you even ever tried to be kind?  Once?
> 
> So hey, thanks for the "reality check", but I already knew the world was littered with jerks.



I have personally found people on this forum kind and helpful -- sometimes kindness comes in different forms.

Just hang in there!

PiP


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## JosephB (May 15, 2013)

Winston said:


> Have you even ever tried to be kind?  Once?



I don't really have to "try" -- but absolutely. All the time --  practically every day. I’m so sorry you’re not around to see it. 

I’ve offered encouragement, praise and constructive criticism to many, many writers over the years. But I don’t have a lot of patience for people who complain about time management or a lack of encouragement from family members. If one of my writing buddies came to me with the same sort of complaints, I’d tell him the exact same thing -- buck up -- and if you’re serious about your writing, you’ll find a way to do it. So I'm not "defining whining," but I sure recognize it when I see it. It hardly takes an "arbiter of all things moral." Ha ha.

And I have encouraged people to keep at it and hang in there -- many times -- but not when they display a general bad attitude and the kind of resentment and sour grapes you showed us in the OP. Comes off like a lost cause to me.

And while I can certainly sympathize with anyone who has family members suffering from depression, that wasn’t even mentioned in the OP. I have family members who are clinically depressed – and my wife suffered from very serious postpartum depression. I get it. But all you did was mention feeling “depressed” because you can’t find the time to write etc. etc. That’s a totally different thing. I’m not a mind reader -- and dragging concerns about your children into this looks like a pretty weak attempt to make me look like a bad guy.

I haven't said anything here that isn't a straightforward assessment of what you've said in the thread -- if not sugar-coated. The reality is -- and I’m using “you” in the collective sense -- no one will care about your writing until you have something tangible show for it. People don’t get it. They’re not going to go out of their way accommodate you. And we all have responsibilities and pressures that keep us from writing as much as we'd like to. 

Deal.

PS -- I'm done. And it's not like you're going to have some kind of epiphany and suddenly see there's truth in what "a handful of sadists" have to say about this. So I'll leave you to make excuses and feel sorry for yourself.

Later.


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## Rustgold (May 15, 2013)

Winston said:


> This local guy was mugged yesterday.  Stuff happens, right?  The thing was, dozens of people were nearby.  No one helped.  When the victim had a chance to call the cops, they told him no one had even called to report the crime.  Not one person.  His was the first call.



Much of humanity sucks.  Half of humanity gets a kick from watching somebody else goes down (you get cases where the crowd thinks that a thug [or group of thugs] bunching somebody is great entertainment); then you have 45% of the population who think that being aholes will help with their depression (when they should be looking at why they're just losers to need such things - and yeah, I'm talking about certain depression driven snippy comments here).


You can focus on that, or you can focus on the <5% how actually gets a care about other people.  The options of the 95% aren't worth dog droppings.  Your choice on who you focus on, but I wouldn't be letting myself be harmed by the 95% who are snide & spiteful just because they're depressed or get kicks out of being mongrels.


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## Winston (May 16, 2013)

pigletinportugal said:


> I have personally found people on this forum kind and helpful -- sometimes kindness comes in different forms.
> 
> Just hang in there!
> 
> PiP



No arguments here.  I have found many, if not most, in this community to be quite helpful.  And generally nice people as well.

Perhaps some just need to move away from the Viet Nam era logic of "We had to destroy the village in order to save it."

Not all help is equal.  Is it acceptable to raze a village, or a person, in order to rebuild it / them?  But that is just my delicate "precious" observation.


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## ppsage (May 16, 2013)

> "We had to destroy the village in order to save it."


The context in which this statement was made (only once and not intended as a generalization of the 'logic' of an era), is contested to this day, as is the quote itself, but it seems never in the context of _destroying in order to rebuild._ The actual meaning in the single event to which it referred, was likely that, in one instance, the collateral damage necessary to fight a battle was justified. If one is using it as a personal advise column reference than it says something more along the line of 'razing whomever to stop them spreading the contamination'. The quote was interpreted and popularized by those opposed to continuing the war, for which purpose it had considerable utility. To some extent, they succeeded in making it symbolic of the futility of all war. I sort of feel like using it here is deliberately and unnecessarily provocative, not to mention grandiosely hyperbolic. Good fun, no doubt, especially with the reinterpretation. I might almost be tempted to say, comparing these contexts could easily serve as the illustration one finds when opening the dictionary to the fourth definition of the word [sic]. But then I'd be as silly as the next guy, and I'm thinking the season's about to be closed. In appreciation, pp.


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## JosephB (May 16, 2013)

Apparently, if you don’t indulge someone’s lack of motivation it means you’re trying to “destroy” him -- and comments related to that must be “depression driven.” I usually don’t say this -- but LOL.

I know -- I said I was done -- but you can’t beat some of this stuff for sheer entertainment value.


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## Rustgold (May 16, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Apparently, if you don’t indulge someone’s lack of motivation it means you’re trying to “destroy” him -- and comments related to that must be “depression driven.” I usually don’t say this -- but LOL.
> 
> I know -- I said I was done -- but you can’t beat some of this stuff for sheer entertainment value.



Who said anything about indulgent?  You (& others) are just being unnecessary spiteful & mean just because you think it'll make you feel a little less depressed.  Here's a tip for you.  If you (or others) are suffering from depression, why don't you get over yourself and get professional help; because the idea of being mean to others to make you feel better is a losers mentality.


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## PiP (May 16, 2013)

JosephB said:


> I usually don’t say this -- but LOL..


 Your crate of "smilies" is on its way.


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## JosephB (May 16, 2013)

Rustgold said:


> Who said anything about indulgent?  You (& others) are just being unnecessary spiteful & mean just because you think it'll make you feel a little less depressed.  Here's a tip for you.  If you (or others) are suffering from depression, why don't you get over yourself and get professional help; because the idea of being mean to others to make you feel better is a losers mentality.



Here’s my general take on this tactic:

Poster A says something based on faulty logic, or that he can’t otherwise back up, or it’s just plain whiny or silly. Poster B comes along and points out the flaws in Poster A’s statement or opinion. Poster A can’t really come back with anything that makes sense  -- so he resorts to a kind of personal attack: “Well, you’re just saying this because you have low self esteem and you’re attacking me so you can feel better about yourself." Or in this case, it's about depression. Heh.

I’m not saying it never happens, but 9 times out of 10, it’s just a rather weak defense mechanism for someone who feels like he’s been backed into a corner. But it’s just a baseless personal attack – and of course, Poster A fails to see the hypocrisy in it.

Poster A will never really stop to think about why he needs to do this. Meanwhile the majority of posters either try to defend their opinions with a little logic or some sort of evidence, or they just let it go and move on. Poster A also fails to notice all the posts made by Poster B that are of a general good nature or helpful or whatever -- he can only focus on the comments directed at him.

Now I could offer some kind of psychological evaluation of Poster A – but that would be the pot calling the kettle black, wouldn’t it? (I'll insert a smiley when the crate arrives.)


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## Winston (May 16, 2013)

I really do feel a bit better now.  Not that that was ever a concern, for some.

Thanks again to those that (naively?) offered help.  I know you're just enabling a lazy whiner, but thanks nonetheless.

Now, for those that offer to leave but are too full of themselves to consummate the act, please, "A" and "B" away to demonstrate your wit and logic.  
I think I'll grab some nachos, then take a nap.
But don't worry, your audience is listening.  Enjoy your spotlight, and being "Right".  'Cause that's what it's all about.


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## Leyline (May 16, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Here’s my general take on this tactic:
> 
> Poster A says something based on faulty logic, or that he can’t otherwise back up, or it’s just plain whiny or silly. Poster B comes along and points out the flaws in Poster A’s statement or opinion. Poster A can’t really come back with anything that makes sense  -- so he resorts to a kind of personal attack: “Well, you’re just saying this because you have low self esteem and you’re attacking me so you can feel better about yourself." Or in this case, it's about depression. Heh.
> 
> ...



Another really funny thing: a guy claiming that 95% of humanity is composed of voyeuristic sadists and losers whose opinions are 'dog droppings' accuses _others_ of being 'spiteful' and 'mean.' 

Seriously: hilarious.


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## JosephB (May 16, 2013)

Funny too considering the gist of these supposedly mean and sadistic comments is simply that serious writers don’t expect or need encouragement. What a horrible thing to say on a writing site!


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## Lewdog (May 17, 2013)

"Hope for the best, expect the worst."  

Sadly, if you have to have encouragement to write, then you have two options.  You can either give up writing, or do something to change your attitude.  

My solution, every time you feel that need to give you a push to write, either hop on line and read some of the other people's pieces of work on here and give them suggestions and praise when fitting, or go through your old pieces of work, and find your favorite one, and read it.  Take your time and read it slowly enjoying each and every bit of it.  When your done, close your eyes, and think of how you felt when you wrote that piece, then open your eyes and get to writing.  

The best encouragement doesn't come from other people, it comes from within, it's called desire.


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## ppsage (May 17, 2013)

> go through your old pieces of work, and find your favorite one, and read it.


Surprised this isn't suggested more often. Often seems to work pretty good.


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## PiP (May 17, 2013)

Hi Winston,

Lew makes an excellent suggestion.



Lewdog said:


> My solution, every time you feel that need to give you a push to write, either hop on line and read some of the other people's pieces of work on here and give them suggestions and praise when fitting, or go through your old pieces of work, and find your favorite one, and read it. .



If you are looking for a testimonial to success through the support at WF



dale said:


> This is like a testimony in progress, especially aimed at the newbies here who may become frustrated or
> disinterested for whatever reasons......
> I came here with only 2 short stories written......zero published. since being here and following the great criticisms
> i received on my works in "the workshop" from members like chris miller, jonm, tiamat10, kyle colorado and others
> ...



Read the complete thread http://www.writingforums.com/writers-lounge/130071-writingforums-com.html

I'm sure there are many more success stories...





Lewdog said:


> Please try and focus on the positives WF has to offer.


...life's too short to get bent out of shape....


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## JosephB (May 17, 2013)

If you’re looking for encouragement at WF, you can get plenty of it in the form of positive feedback and constructive criticism in the areas where people post work. That requires actual participation -- which means more than dropping in occasionally to complain and fish for “keep at it” platitudes.

That way you can form relationships with other writers who have some idea that you’re dedicated and serious about what you’re doing. They’ll give you encouragement -- but not just because.


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## Rustgold (May 17, 2013)

Leyline said:


> Another really funny thing: a guy claiming that 95% of humanity is composed of voyeuristic sadists and losers whose opinions are 'dog droppings' accuses _others_ of being 'spiteful' and 'mean.'
> 
> Seriously: hilarious.


Why, because the guy who wrote



Leyline said:


> Expecting encouragement is kind of precious.


straight up is showcasing such a lovely nature; particularly when such an expectation was never demanded.



> I've given up a lot to take care of my family. All I ever asked was some time to write. Sure, some encouragement would have been nice.


This wasn't a demand for encouragement, and doubly wasn't a demand for those here.

What's hilarious Leyline, is that you (& others) have been mean-spirited for zero reason, and then go around with a 'not me' face on.  It simply wasn't necessary to make the 'precious' call.


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## NathanBrazil (May 17, 2013)

Winston said:


> Yes, negative, depressing Winston is back.  Why?  Today, my wife forces me to listen to her "uplifting" Christian music station.



How did she force you?


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## JosephB (May 17, 2013)

Rustgold said:


> straight up is showcasing such a lovely nature; particularly when such an expectation was never demanded.



Nice try, but you should have read on. He says some encouragement would be nice -- then he gives himself away by saying:



> It looks like the world has mugged me.  My family stands there, like  those people with their cell phones, too indifferent to intervene, or  make a call.  I really wish I had a pin, or $50 dollars to offer, to  make them care.  Maybe I'll go to the printing shop and have some  stickers made up: "Be Nice to Me, I'm a Failed Writer."



What do you think that's about? Boo hoo. Despite the disclaimer, the whole gist of the OP is about expecting encouragement. And the word used was expect -- not "demanded." That's your addition.

What's hilarious is that a fairly innocuous  statement is made out to be this horrible cruel and mean thing meant to "destroy" this poor guy who already characterizes himself as a "failed writer" because he's decided to quit -- and for reasons most of us have been able to shrug off. And if you look at the post following the offending comment, Winston goes right into attack mode -- saying that one of the most talented and insightful writers on the site doesn’t “write well” -- based on his misunderstanding of what was said, no less.

So guess who's gotten in all the personal digs and who's done all the name calling in this thread? That's right -- Winston and the guy who rode in to support him. You'd see that if you could go back through this thing and consider the comments with any kind of objectivity instead of focusing on personalities. A few of us simply commented on what was said in the OP -- basically saying variations of the things he said about himself. And we're somehow the bad guys.

And if you want to talk about "mean-spirited," you might want to read the OP again. I don't think someone who shows his resentment by calling his wife "clueless" because she's not a mind reader and another writer a "bimbo" simply because she's managed to accomplish something he hasn't deserves the kid glove treatment. Never mind the rest of the misanthropic, finger-pointing baloney.

Looks like you've done a lot of selective reading in this thread. Get real.


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## Kevin (May 17, 2013)

NathanBrazil said:


> How did she force you?


 Uh... you're not married, are you?


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## JosephB (May 17, 2013)

Heh. My guess is he was in the car -- kind of hard to escape the music unless you carry ear plugs around. Somehow my sister got my wife into opera. That's right -- opera.


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## NathanBrazil (May 17, 2013)

Kevin said:


> Uh... you're not married, are you?



Yep.  I am married and I've had to deal with my wife "forcing" me to do something or at least trying.    That's why I ask.

ETA: Joseph, you're probably right.  Though, I do believe in a give and take in a relationship - even in a car.    Forcing is a bit strong.  I'm sure if you really didn't want to listen to something, you'd communicate that.


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## JosephB (May 17, 2013)

Winston said:


> Now, for those that offer to leave but are too full of themselves to  consummate the act, please, "A" and "B" away to demonstrate your wit and  logic.
> 
> But don't worry, your audience is listening.  Enjoy your spotlight, and being "Right".  'Cause that's what it's all about.



This is kind of funny too – although it was obviously meant to somehow be biting or revealing.

I doubt many people post here not wanting some kind of positive reaction or a head nod -- and if you want to say that's enjoying the spotlight or call the people who provide that reaction or who otherwise agree an "audience," be my guest.  I’m a writer after all -- and on top of that, I’m a copywriter -- I enjoy writing to persuade, clarify and invite response. Sometimes I’m a little too enthusiastic about it – and I can’t help coming back for more. So sue me.

And oh dear, we wouldn't want anyone on a writing site demonstrating wit and logic. Heh.


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## JosephB (May 17, 2013)

NathanBrazil said:


> ETA: Joseph, you're probably right.  Though, I do believe in a give and take in a relationship - even in a car.    Forcing is a bit strong.  I'm sure if you really didn't want to listen to something, you'd communicate that.



Here's what we do -- I put a lot of my wife's music on my iPod, a lot of it stuff we like in common, but some of it's stuff more to her liking. Then I created play lists for when we're driving or working around the house together etc. I also created a "station" in Slacker (sort of like Pandora) that has bands and performers we both like. We have a few bands that we really like in common, REM, Collective Soul, The Avette Brothers -- and a lot of older singer song-writer stuff like James Taylor, Neil Young, Cat Stephens that I've just started getting into. I don't hate much of her music, but she can't stand some of mine -- Rage Against the Machine, Sonic Youth, Pixies, NIN -- I can understand that. I'm also always looking for new music, and when I find something, she at least gives it a chance. Anyway, we've managed to find common ground -- and now there's technology available that makes it easy.


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## NathanBrazil (May 17, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Here's what we do -- I put a lot of my wife's music on my iPod, a lot of it stuff we like in common, but some of it's stuff more to her liking. Then I created play lists for when we're driving or working around the house together etc. I also created a "station" in Slacker (sort of like Pandora) that has bands and performers we both like. We have a few bands that we really like in common, REM, Collective Soul, The Avette Brothers -- and a lot of older singer song-writer stuff like James Taylor, Neil Young, Cat Stephens that I've just started getting into. I don't hate much of her music, but she can't stand some of mine -- Rage Against the Machine, Sonic Youth, Pixies, NIN -- I can understand that. I'm also always looking for new music, and when I find something, she at least gives it a chance. Anyway, we've managed to find common ground -- and now there's technology available that makes it easy.



Joseph - Precisely. I know that no relationship is perfect and anything, including music, can become a source of friction. But if you're going to whine in silence, which I'm guessing the OP is doing, then don't expect things to change.



Winston said:


> Yes, negative, depressing Winston is back.  Why?  Today, my wife forces me to listen to her "uplifting" Christian music station.  In between songs, some bimbo relates this story on how she became a writer.  I tried to filter out her banal blather, but her peppy cackle cracked me.  She bragged about a graduation gift her mom gave her, to encourage her writing.  He mom save some insipid book she wrote whe she was five.  Something about ponies, or some related rubbish.
> . . .
> Today, as the bimbo author "inspired" the audience with her tale of success, my wife was clueless.  My face drooped, I slumped in the car seat.  Eventually, she asked what was wrong.  I felt like screaming at her that the fact she had to ask was what was wrong, _was wrong_.


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## Rustgold (May 19, 2013)

_


			
				Winston said:
			
		


			It looks like the world has mugged me....
		
Click to expand...

_


JosephB said:


> What do you think that's about? Boo hoo....


So what?  Lots of people feel as if the world’s against them at times.  That’s no excuse for gutlessly attacking a person without provocation when they’re feeling down.  It’s a weak excuse, completely gutless, and pathetic.



JosephB said:


> And if you want to talk about "mean-spirited," you might want to read the OP again. I don't think someone who shows his resentment by calling his wife "clueless" because she's not a mind reader


That is a completely fraudulent accusation deliberately taken out of context JosephB.  Completely pathetic.

And no, I wouldn’t have written what he did actually write; however, other people’s families have nothing to do with us.  Using it as an excuse to engage in an unprovoked attack is gutless and pathetic.



JosephB said:


> Looks like you've done a lot of selective reading in this thread.


It seems to be as if you’re engaging in selective reading yourself as an excuse to engage in unprovoked attacks, just because you have this warped belief that abusing others will make you feel better.  So, maybe Winston was carping a bit in your opinion, but that’s no excuse for engaging in an unprovoked attack, particularly when he was quite obviously feeling down.  Completely gutless.


We both know that you have to look at yourself in the mirror to write these things.  Maybe if you’re so depressed about yourself, you should get real and get professional help for your depression, because the idea of abusing others as a depression treatment is a loser’s mentality.  Maybe with getting help, you’ll feel better about yourself in the long run.


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## JosephB (May 19, 2013)

Oh dear.

You know, sometimes a post is so off-base and so disconnected from reality -- from what actually went down in the thread, it’s self-refuting -- and there’s no need to address it with any sort of detail. This is one of those times. Plus, all this has been covered more than once. There’s no need to do it again. The bottom line is, the "attacks" have only happened in your imagination and the OP's. Anyone who might want to plow through this thread and consider it objectively would see that. Or they could simply look up a couple of posts and see the quote Nathan pulled from the OP to get a clear picture of things -- and it's not very pretty.

Have a nice day, Rustgold. Or night -- considering the time difference.


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## Winston (May 20, 2013)

JosephB said:


> Oh dear.... see the quote Nathan pulled from the OP to get a clear picture of things -- and it's not very pretty...



Ugly begets ugly.  And unfortunately multiplies it.

The big difference is I have a bad day, and move on.  You wallow in the minutia; from a miswritten "bimbo" reference to my description of my wife's reaction as "clueless".  You pick apart Rustgold's writing, not for anyone's betterment, but for sport.

There is much in this world that is "not very pretty".  For God's sake, MOVE ON.  Or keep being that boy that picks at scabs.  I already know your choice.


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## JosephB (May 20, 2013)

“Miswritten?”  I didn’t even know that was a real word. You learn something new every day.

Thanks -- and don’t ever change, man.


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