# My First and probably Only Play



## bazz cargo (Aug 28, 2011)

Hello, 
Never even considered writing a stage play before. Don't know if this works. Anyone interested in performing this, (amateur of course) is welcome, although I would like some feed back about how it went. I would love to involved with a production. See how it goes for myself, maybe do some changes. I have left the main character ambiguous so anyone of any nationality or gender can play part. Please let me know of any spag errors or improvements. It is rather long at 3800 words.


 *Last Train To Clarkesville*


A One Act, One Scene Play.




_*The Audience enters, and settles down.*_


_*The Lights go down.*_


_*Suddenly loud machine gun shots come from the rear of the*_


_*auditorium. Flashing and strobe lighting*_


_*accompany the shots. *_ 




_*The lights go back up to reveal armed guards dressed in camouflage gear, spaced around the *_ 


_*perimeter.*_


_*The curtains open to reveal the stage is occupied by a backdrop,*_


_*One chair and one table. *_ 


_*On the table is a lumpy jacket and a bottle of water.*_


_*Standing there is the leader of the armed guards,  dressed in *_ 


_*camouflage uniform, with a side arm.*_








 *LEADER* 


  Well, this makes a change from the advertised show, doesn't it ?


 For your information, We Are The Peoples Liberation Army Of Everystan. And tonight you are our


 hostages. Just sit quietly, and if your hostage rescue team is any good, most of you will be going  


 home safely.  


 Right, now a lot of you are thinking ' why me?' I will tell you. First of all, as callous as it may seem,


 you were just plain unlucky.  Secondly if you had cared about the way things are, we would not be


 here.


 Some of you are thinking, 'what do we want ?' Well believe it or not, we just want to be left alone.


 You see, we don't want you running our lives, any more than you would want us to run yours.


 But thanks to your stupidity, greed and callousness here we are. Now where do we go from here?


 It is an interesting question, no? The answer is 'it all depends.'


 Just yesterday, hundreds of my fellow countrymen died, gunned down in cold blood, by a dictator


 and his criminal government. One that you keep supplied with arms. One you treat with respect, just


 because of 'The Oil.' Just because you are too lazy to wean yourselves off the black stuff.  Just like  


 any other junkie you demand your fix, and everyone else suffers.


 Day after day you work, watch TV and go on foreign holidays, all at the expense of people in a land


 far away. Out of sight, out of conscience. People who die of starvation, who are kept as cattle,


 without law, without hope.


 While you moan about the cost of living, that your bills are too high. The true cost of your living is


 the death of babies. Every mile you drive costs a life. Every trip in a plane costs lives. Your holidays


 are steeped in blood. You buy the oil, and to get some of the money back you sell him bullets. You


 sell bullets to the mad men in charge of the oil rich country's. I ask you, which is the most evil, a


 dictator, or his friends? The mark of a man, is the friends he keeps.


 So here you are, unknowing, uncaring, busy with your little lives, living in blissful ignorance,


 not even bothering to question  the government you could not be bothered to vote for in the first  

 place. And here we are, the few who can and will stand up, we say 'Not On My Conscience .'


 You did not listen to use when we were polite, we became rudely insistent, and you told us to go


 away. We protested, and you laughed at us, we became a few seconds of novelty on a news


 programme.


 Finally we are trying violence. Now we are called terrorists. We have become criminals to be hunted,


 tortured, killed. You are just like the dictator. You tell us your way of life is so much better than ours,


 because you are righteous. Righteous! Pah. How can you take the moral high ground, when it is you,


 with your money keeping the citizens of my country oppressed. Yes you, you and your money. Look


 at what you do to yourselves, how you fail to look after your  vulnerable. The weak, the sick, the  

 elderly. They are only  there to be exploited. You say we treat our women badly, well just you look


 how you treat your own, try googling porn, the internet is a real eye opener.


 what about those poor countries, where you pay criminals with money and guns to make drugs.

 Drugs you take just so you can feel good for five minutes. The violence, killings, corruption, the


 suffering and lawlessness. Your bad behaviour, your money ruining other peoples lives. Will you


 change your behaviour ? Will you insist that your government will change it's ways ? Do you think


 the business's that get rich selling arms ever question the blood on the money ? How many Swiss


 bank accounts exist, just because of this 'pragmatic way' of 'dealing with the Devil?'  


 You call me a bad man, and yet you have murdered and enslaved many more people than me. I kill to


 free my people, you kill for a tank full of petrol.


 In the pursuit of more and more money you have abandoned your own people. You would rather  


 employ sweat labour in other countries, where their own governments oppress their own people.


 Where children do adults work and adults have no work.  Where great fashion house's get rich


 and the children live in squalor, earning pitiful meaningless wages.


 Charity is no good, it just sustains the the status quo. What they need is an honest government,  


 proper trade and the will to improve the way their people live. Not to use them as just  


 another way to stuff another Swiss bank account.


 Your everyday life is only sustainable by ruining others. No wonder some of us fight back.  


 Now enough of my lecturing, it is now time to deal with the reason we are here. Lord Credence, it is


 time for you to come on down.


_*No one moves in the audience.*_


 *LEADER * 


 OK captain, find him and bring him here.




_*In pairs the armed terrorists search the audience.*_


_*Two of them find the Lord, and drag him out of his chair. *_ 


_*His wife joins in the struggle.*_


_*There is a lot of begging and pleading.*_


 *LEADER  * 


 Ah Alice, Alice  Alice  Alice, in a way this concerns you too. Captain, bring her to the stage as well.




_*The terrorists hand cuff the lord, hands behind his back.*_


_*They hand cuff his wife, hands in front.*_


_*They drag them to the stage.*_


_*He is pushed to the floor, she is sat on the chair.*_


*LEADER* 

 Good evening my Lord, my Lady.


*LADY ALICE* 


 Leave us alone, let us go, we have done nothing to you, he's a good man, Leave us alone.




_*The leader perches on the edge of the table*_


 *LEADER.* 


 This is one of those life changing moments Alice, and you really should pay attention.




_*The leader pulls the pistol from it's holster*_


*LADY ALICE* 


 Please don't, please please please.




_*The leader gently rubs the gun barrel up and down Lady Alice's cheek.*_


*LEADER* 


 This is important Alice, the wrong decision can have serious consequences, disastrous consequences.


 It is your choice.




_*Lady Alice goes very quiet.*_


*LEADER*


 Well thought through. Now, Lord Credence, tell everyone who you are.


*LORD CREDENCE*


 Mumbles.


*LEADER* 


 Now now my lord speak up, after all this is the theatre, you must project yourself.


*LORD CREDENC**E * 


 (_Defiantly_) I am the permanent under-secretary to the secretary of defence.


*LEADER* 


 You are part of the team that decided to invade our middle eastern neighbours.




*LORD CREDENCE* 


 I took no active part in those decisions.


 *LEADER* 


 No active part in stopping them either.


*LORD CREDENCE* 


 I just work there, I didn't start these wars, you did. Terrorists. You destroyed the twin towers.


*LEADER* 


 Ahh, you see I was just a humble teacher then, I am only a terrorist now because when your country


 invaded our neighbour it gave our beloved president the chance to oppress us even harder.


 The fall out of such harshness was the sudden increase in what I like to call, 'freedom fighters.'  




*LORD CREDENCE* 


 Murderers, indiscriminate killers. Butchers. Religious nutters. As God is my witness, you will be


  hunted down.


 *LEADER* 


_*Puts the gun muzzle to Lord Credence's forehead.*_




 People die everyday. To be born is to die, and yet the threat of death still holds attention.  


 Will you die today ?




_*Pushes Lord Credence's head gently with the gun then puts the gun onto the table.*_




 It is simple physics, action and reaction. You push us and we push back.


 Why did you invade Iraq ?


*LORD**CREDENCE*

 What ?


 *LEADER*


 Why, did, you, invade, Iraq ?


*LORD CREDENCE*


 That wasn't us, that was the previous government.  

*LEADER* 


 Are you telling me it was George Bush and Tony Blair's fault ? It was nothing to do with oil?


 Nothing to do with keeping your economy running? Nothing to do with the tax it brings in?


*LORD CREDENCE* 


 Absolutely not, it was, all those weapons of mass destruction. He was a mad man with a large army


 and no morals. He even gassed some of his own  people for gods sake. And my god he was really


 good at killing his own son-in-laws. There is no way you can tell me the world is not a better place


 without him. All we did was make it a safer place. A place where women could be as good as men, a


 place where you could vote for your own government.  


 We are showing the whole of the middle east how democracy is the best way to run a country.  


 Do you know how many British service men and women have died to this bring freedom  to those


 whom he oppressed ?


 Every day we spend millions of pounds, and many lives to battle against the terrorists. Everyday,


 terrorists like you threaten our lives, our way of living, our green and pleasant land.


 Why do you want us all to pray to Mecca? What is it abut Christianity you find so bad?


 You come over here and live off state handouts, you bomb our underground and then you have the


 effrontery to complain we don't respect your religion enough. You build Mosques, and start riots.


 If you don't like it here, why don't you just go back home ?

*LEADER* 
 So it was nothing to do with oil then ?




*LORD CREDENCE* 


 Oil! Oil! All that has happened since we went into That Damned Country is the price has risen to silly


 money. If we just stayed away then we would be a darned sight better off.




*LEADER* 


 So your once close friend Saddam. The one who stood up to the Iranians suddenly becomes your


 enemy. You blockade his country and use sanctions against his regime. Then when there is no way


 he can get his hands on weapons of mass destruction, you invade.




*LORD CREDENCE * 


 Well what do you expect? We couldn't just nuke him.




 *LEADER* 


 Nuclear weapons. Weapons of mass destruction. How are they supposed to used defensively? Hold


 them up and use them as a shield? Watch the enemies rockets bounce back to where they came


 from?


 is it some sort of modern magic to ward off evil? Didn't you learn a lesson from Chernobyl?  


 Radiation doesn't stop at borders, it poisons the entire neighbourhood. If England wanted to bomb


 France it might as well bomb itself at the same time. You could bomb North Korea, but it shares one


 border with the good guy's in South Korea and another with China. There's a a recipe for


 international tension. How about Russia? We could poison Northern Europe at the same time.


 Why are the British spending a fortune on something that can only be used aggressively, and only if


 they fall out with entire world?


 It makes you sound like a mad dictatorship, with paranoid delusions of grandeur and lots of oil.


 Why did George Bush and Tony Blair decide it was necessary to invade Iraq?


*LORD CREDENCE* 


 How the hell should I know? I've told you I'm not a politician, I'm not part of the government, I am


 a civil servant, I just work for it. What ever else you think of me I did not have any part in the


 decision to go after Saddam.  


 There was a lot of other people pushing for it. We in the civil service are neutral. I personally never


 had an opinion either way, but all these years down the line I can see what a disastrous decision it


 was. It makes me sick to see the chaos over there, but even if I knew then what I know now it would


 not have made the slightest difference, bigger guns than me were determined to have their way. The


 whole bloody mess is just the way things are. You suffer, I suffer, everyone on all sides suffers, just

 because Osama Bin Laden wants to be the leader of an oppressive regime.


 You see at the heart of it all, people just want to get by, to have a roof over their head, food on the


 table, a loving family. In this country you can have it. Try a little harder and you can have those little


 extras, a better car, nicer holidays, a bigger house, gold, diamonds, there is no reason at all why you


 have to become a terrorist. All this killing is totally unnecessary, it just ruins peoples lives. Parents


 losing children, children losing parents. Simple everyday life takes a turn for the stupid, searches at


 airports, checking under your car for explosives, using controlled explosions on the abandoned cases


 in the shopping centre.


 All because you cannot accept that most people are happy with the way things are.


 You have to change things, using violence, you have no problem with terror to force your argument.


 Killing your way to power, running the country by gun point. Making the majority of peaceful

 citizens live in fear.


 This is a democracy, if you are dissatisfied with the way things are, you set up a political party, tell


 everyone about the alternative government you could provide, appeal to the public and get voted in.


 You don't need guns and bombs to effect a change. That's the beauty of this country, get enough votes


 on your side and you can run the whole damned country. Do it well enough and they will even keep


 you in power. It is the best way to get the power you crave, without it, it will all end in blood.




 *LEADER.* 


 What a twisted outlook you have on life.




*LADY  ALICE.* 


 We have money, we can pay.




 *LEADER.* 


 I'm sorry my lady, but despite money being at the root of this problem it is not going to be  the


 solution.


 Today, my family, my friends, my fellow countrymen are being starved, tortured and killed by their


 own president. The excuse for this is 'a global war on terrorism.' It does seem strange that this war


 seems to be taking place mostly in country's with despotic leaders and lots of oil.


 The oil that keeps your country moving. The oil your economy depends on.


 It puts unbelievable fortunes in a few rich men's bank accounts.   


 It poisons the planet and brings suffering to so many people.


 You are blind to the damage it does. All you can see is the money, not the people.


 Now, I think it is time our audience knew a little more about your Lordship.


 Tell us something about your life.

*LORD CREDENCE.*


 No!


 No, you are going to kill me anyway, why should I give you the time of day ?


*THE LEADER.*


 Mmm. Fine, I will tell them for you, you will see we have done our research well.


 You are sixty two years old, married for twenty three years. Second marriage.


 First one broke up because of your affair with Alice here.


 You play golf and like to dine at expensive restaurants.


 You have had an affair with your secretary for longer than both of your   


 marriages. You attend a friends sex parties, and enjoy the company of prostitutes.  


 You selected Alice because she had children from a previous marriage.  


 Tell me Alice, did you ever wonder why your first daughter left home so early


 and what she is seeing a counsellor for?


 And why your youngest daughter  spends so much time staying over with friends?


 This honest upright citizen has a few dark secrets.

*LADY ALICE*


 Henry tell me this isn't true.


*LORD CREDENCE.*


 No, it's all lies. Our children are very important to me, I would never ever hurt them.

*THE LEADER.*


_*Fishes a piece of paper out of his pocket and puts it on the table.*_


 When this is all over take a look at this web site, his user name and code is printed on there


 for your convenience.  


*LORD CREDENCE.*


 It's a trick. They have made this all up.


*THE LEADER.*


 Take a look Alice.  


 Now my Lord, it is never a good idea to commit perjury. Courts take a very dim view of  liars.


*LORD CREDENCE.*


 Court?


*THE LEADER.*


 Yes. I am your judge and your jury, and if necessary your executioner.


 *LORD CREDENCE * 


 You cannot possibly equate yourself with our judicial system. You have even  


 discarded your own morals and ethics, nowhere in your religion does it say


 kill thy neighbour.


*THE LEADER*


 True, but I have had something of a personal crisis over this situation.  


 On the one hand I must not kill, but on the other, evil flourishes if good men stand


 idly by. You will flourish and many more will suffer. So I must break the rules


  and hope my God is merciful.  


 So now we reach the part where you have to defend yourself. Tell us


 why you should live.


*LORD CREDENCE.*


 Why I should live?  Why should I die? In your religion, and my religion all life is sacred.


 It is not up to you to damage Gods work. You seek the moral high ground by threats and


 lies. You use violence and death as tools to attack our freedom.


 Everyday some youngster with suicidal tendencies is persuaded to strap a bomb to


 themselves and find a nice crowd of innocent bystanders. You promise them

 a way into heaven, and so in their own minds they have nothing but a life they

 don't want and the best future they could possibly want. And they become a hero as well.


 What a sick way to wage a war. Exploit the damaged individual, get them to do your dirty work.


 None of the people in here could point to your country on a map. None of them harbour


 your people any ill will. None of them have raised a finger to cause you and your country any harm.

 Yet here we are, waiting for the bullets to start flying.


 You are no judge. You pretend to have reasons for what you do, but really all you want is to

 kill. Not in the name of God, in the name of evil. You do the devils work.


 You don't want to make your country a better place, you just want to be the one in charge.


 Without the twin towers and other attacks, there would be no British soldiers


 anywhere in the Middle East. You started this, killing me or anyone else

 wont stop it. It will just make matters worse. You say want to win respect, or freedom.


 All you will get is more hate, more soldiers. Keep us alive and I promise you, I will do everything I


 can to bring our army home.  There is already a strong public desire to do so,  


 it will be a bit like pushing at an open door.


*THE LEADER*


  A good reply, although I notice it has very little to do with you personally. It also


  fails to mention the lies your government has told, all the cash it has  


  embezzled, all  the exploiters you have cosied up to. The failure to fix all the nagging


  little problems that make people's lives so miserable. You want the top job, but not for  


  any reason more important than your own self aggrandisement.


*LORD CREDENCE.*


  I have no need to defend myself from the likes of you, self justifying murderers and


  destroyers of good things. Killing is against the law.


*THE LEADER.*


    So is slavery, yet you are willing to let other countries provide your goods made by


  what can only be likened to to slave labour. Torture, killing and false imprisonment is against  


  the law and yet you make friends with those who do both. Double standards.


*LORD CREDENCE.*


  Hypocrite.


*THE LEADER.*


  Believe me, I can see myself all too clearly and I don't like what I see. I look at  


  you and I like it even less.


_*The Leader picks up the gun.*_


*THE LEADER.*


  I have sat in judgement. The jury has retired. What verdict do you think I will provide?


*LORD CREDENCE.*


  After all this, I know you are going to kill me. It is the wrong thing, the bad thing to do.


*THE LEADER.*


  All of that and so much more.




_*There is a brief squeal and the sound of a megaphone amplified voice.*_




*NEGOTIATOR PATRICK.*




  Hello in the theatre, I am Patrick and I am here to talk to you.




*THE LEADER.*


  My cue.


_*The Leader puts gun down and puts jacket on, it has sticks of explosives and wires attached to it.*_


_*The Leader then picks up gun and shoots Lord Credence.*_


_*Lady Alice leaves the chair and goes to her husband, where she rests his head in her lap.*_


*LADY ALICE.*


_*(*__*To The Leader*__*) *_You are an awful, awful man. If I had a gun I'd kill you.


_*(*__*To her husband*__*) *_Oh my love don't leave me.


*THE LEADER.*


  You are so right and yet, I have done you a big favour. With his death the gambling


  debts are written off and you will keep the house.


_*The Leader waves his arm in the air.*_


  Fellow freedom fighters, it is time for our finale.


*As the lights dim all the hostage takers make their hasty way * 


*down to the stage and out through the wings.*


_*There is a brief pause, then the sound of gun fire and shouts and screams. Then a loud explosion*_


*and a bright flash, small debris drops from stage ceiling, * 


_*part of the stage scenery falls over.*_


_*Lights up, cast take bow*._


*The End *


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## InsanityStrickenWriter (Aug 29, 2011)

Ah mate, sorry but I have to be quite harsh here. This doesn't read as a play for me, but rather, a preaching session. It's probably at its worst at the beginning, where it is just endless preaching and citations of all the various woes and how terrible western society is. This perhaps could have been countered with preaching from Lord Credence about the good of western society, but then, you made his character not only a cheat, but also a pedofile who took advantage of his current wife's daughter. 

It was also all quite a short affair; one which the leader and his troops seem to have escaped from scot free. The similar Moscow theatre crisis of 2002 lasted for two and a half days and only stopped because the Russians pumped poison through the ventilation systems, (killing both the captors and the captives). 

I dunno, I just really didn't like this piece. It doesn't fit with how and what you usually write, which I always look forward to reading, (and I'm not simply referring to humour, I quite liked your Luna piece for example, which was far from the most cheerful of tales  ).


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## patskywriter (Aug 29, 2011)

Ugh. Pretty despicable. Reminds me of the same diatribes I used to hear back in the 1970s. I used to think, "Idiots. You paint all of us with the same brush without realizing that many of 'us' (whoever _us_ is, LOL) are on 'your' side." The genius of the civil rights movement was in recognizing and collaborating with those of like minds, of all races. The world is not simply black and white, us vs them. This play does absolutely nothing to move us forward.

… Now looking at the play itself, I'd say that there is no distinction from one character to the other. They all speak in the same voice. It's as if someone sat down and wrote out speeches/dialog and merely assigned them to each of the characters.


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## Bilston Blue (Aug 29, 2011)

Bazz, I've got to agree with the other posters here. It does come across as the author preaching about the state of the world, and yet without offering any real solution. The two characters seems to be in a competition to see if they can out do each others oratory skills. Putting the subject aside, I think the structure would work better if there was more involvement for the Lord's wife, and if the three of them were given shorter lines, so it reads more like dialogue and not a collection of speeches. Maybe there's room for another couple of characters.

You surprised me with this. Knowing you'd written a play, I would have guessed it would be a comedy, or at least sprinkled liberally with humour. Also, I can't help thinking that, at the first performance of this, you'd have the English Defence League and Unite Against Fascism protesting against each other outside the venue, and the police would cancel the performance on the second night for fear of a repeat.

Next time, can you try something like _Confessions of a Window Cleaner. _​That, in your hands, would definitely be worth a look.

All the best

Scott


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## bazz cargo (Aug 30, 2011)

Yep,
Bloody awful, never going to write another play.


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## Wryture (Sep 11, 2011)

I thought it was like the same cadence of a homeric poem, but not as good because it's not a historical relic.

Gotta pay the writing gods sacrifices to get the story sealed down from all angles, if you can afford the time / effort.


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## mari (May 5, 2012)

I got one question i hope you will answer it! What you felt when you write this? Why you choose this theme? What it menas for you?


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## Bloggsworth (May 5, 2012)

The whole tone is too conversational.


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## bazz cargo (May 11, 2012)

Hi all,
first of all thanks for reading my effort. It was written as part of the 'bible' I wrote up for an experimental short:
www.writingforums.com/writers-workshop/124660-rainbows-end-story-cycle-part-i.html 

In no way could my terrible play be taken as a serious work. I had a moment of weakness and decided to share some of the 'iceberg' of work that goes into the tip of a story. 

I will admit that the one thing I gleaned from the exercise is I cannot write a play.:cower:


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## Amy Christopher (Feb 11, 2013)

Actually I liked your style though I agree with all the comments here.  Do write, just don't try to push it into five minutes.  Building character isn't possible in this kind of short sequence and you need characters not pantomime villains and heroes.


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## bazz cargo (Feb 14, 2013)

Hi Amy,
you are too kind. 
I have just read it through and can see the value of it as a historical record of how much I have improved. Mind you this is coming on the back of a trip to the cinema to see Les Miserables. Now there is a case of ladling on the emotions. 

See ya round.
Bazz


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## Lewdog (Feb 14, 2013)

Wouldn't this be better as a one man dialogue type of play?  It would be like a speech with sound and lighting effects.  It could be done.


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## bazz cargo (Feb 14, 2013)

Hi Lewdog,
nice to meet you.

You may be right. My original intention was to include the audience into the play. Instead of just watching, taking part. It was intended to go wrong and become a comedy. Perhaps this could be re-worked, but I wonder if a straight forward comedy might be a better investment of my time. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and think about it. Your comment has given me food for thought. Much appreciated.
Bazz


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## Lewdog (Feb 14, 2013)

Another thought, you could do it as a narration off stage with actors on stage that don't talk, but instead just act out what you talk about.  No one would have to learn lines!


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## genevieve (Feb 21, 2013)

bazz cargo said:


> *Last Train To Clarkesville*
> 
> 
> A One Act, One Scene Play.




oh, i understand now ... is not about "kindness" so then instead i'll say your story sucks 

how's that instead of "bloody awful" ?




<[song by sarah brightman: "captain nemo"]>


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## bazz cargo (Feb 22, 2013)

@Lewdog.
An interesting idea. It might even work for a projection. Something to think about
Ta...

@Genevieve. 
Perceptive...All creativity is a compromise between what is intended and what an audience will bring themselves. Writing for oneself is catering for an audience of one. This is an early exploration that has helped me to scrape away a corner of ice on life's windscreen. 

In song and music there is emotional comfort and the knowledge we are not alone. ET Phone home.


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## genevieve (Feb 22, 2013)

~


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## bazz cargo (Feb 23, 2013)

> my response to your play was intended kindly


It was accepted as such. And my reply was both agreeing with you and demonstrating my appreciation of your support. Live long and prosper.


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## genevieve (Feb 23, 2013)

ET wanted to say: _all_ the cell phones are dead ... 

"*t*a..."


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## Lewdog (Feb 23, 2013)

I want to write a play about an angry old man sitting on his front porch doing a one person monologue while viewing the world around him.  What do you think?


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## bazz cargo (Feb 23, 2013)

> I want to write a play about an angry old man sitting on his front porch  doing a one person monologue while viewing the world around him.  What  do you think?


 						If you don't do it, I might. 

I suggest you start a thread with a rough outline. Maybe ask in the lounge, about what gets oldies wound up. Will you send me a link? Please...


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## Lewdog (Feb 23, 2013)

bazz cargo said:


> If you don't do it, I might.
> 
> I suggest you start a thread with a rough outline. Maybe ask in the lounge, about what gets oldies wound up. Will you send me a link? Please...



I know what gets old people wound up, I am one!  Ha!  Well plus I was raised by my grandparents and my grandpa was that type of old person that would sit by the front window just so he could watch the other people in the neighborhood and get in their business.  It was quite funny sometimes, and quite embarrassing at other times.


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