# Don't call me a genius, don't call me a child!



## Ari (Aug 2, 2014)

The other day, I was in the library.
 It is one of the few places where I'm glad that I'm routinely mistaken for a fifteen-year-old, because it means I can browse the children’s and young adults sections without having to pretend I'm hunting out books for a younger sister. 
It also means that, with the aid of a friendly and surprisingly criminal-minded librarian, I hold a child’s library card without anyone being suspicious. A child’s card is preferable because you don’t get fined for overdue books or charged for placing reserves.

But on Thursday, which is the day I'm talking about, I wasn't in the children's section. Not even near it. I was in a terribly scary part of the library surrounded by books entitled _“_Algebraic Topology” and "Rational Points on Elliptic Curves" and other such things.
I was, you see, doing research. For my story. Because one of my characters knows maths in a way that I do not, I was searching for some mathematical phrases for him to throw about.


And so I was flicking through “Topology from the Differentiable Viewpoint” when I was suddenly set upon by a giant pink silkworm

“Oh!” said the silkworm who, as I emerged from the book with startled eyes, snapped into focus as a large pink lady in a pink silk shirt. “Oh! Oh, wow!" she said. "You’re reading that?!”
And without giving me a moment to answer, she launched into a monologue about how her grandfather is a maths genius responsible for algorithms X, Y and Z, and how her uncle is currently working on the famous thingymagum problem in his spare time. 
I started at her, trying to gather my wits, waiting for her to take a breath so I could explain that I'm not a maths genius, that I'm just writing about one.
 But she continued talking while breathing in! It was like standing in a hailstorm of words.


“You will, of course,” she said, slowing down at last. “Be studying mathematics at university?”
_Aha,_ I thought. _Here is my chance! I can explain, and then we'll laugh about it, and she go on her merry pink way and leave me in peace._
“No,” I said. “I'm just reading this for fun.”
I knew at once that was the worst thing I could have said.
Her eyes widened and she seemed to swell up, oblivious to my hurried explanation that what I meant was I was only _writing_ about the maths. For fun.

Though on reflection, I suppose that wouldn't have helped matters either. 

“OH!” she said. “Oh my goodness! You must apply to the university here. You must show them what you can do! There are great programs for fast-tracking kids who can’t get the attention they need in school.”
OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THAT ONE MRS PINK!
“No, really,” I protested, annoyed now as well as alarmed, but sticking up for myself. “I'm honestly not that great at maths. What I meant was - “


But that only gave her the idea that I was some undiscovered genius with low self-esteem. A plague on people who won’t let you explain yourself! I just had to let her talk on and on about how I shouldn't undervalue myself. 
I guess she's one of those people who are like a force of nature. You can only grit your teeth and wait for them to pass.
Eventually, Mrs Pink scribbled her uncle’s phone number on a scrap of paper and thrust it into my hand. “Give him a call. He’ll get you into one of those Star programs. You'll do wonderfully, I know.”

And she went off with the triumphant air of a lady who had just sorted out someone’s entire life for them.

Sigh.


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## escorial (Aug 2, 2014)

so like these brief moments in time..especially when there true...enjoyed.


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## Schrody (Aug 2, 2014)

A cute story, even though a lady was a little annoying/overwhelmed


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## dither (Aug 2, 2014)

Life eh?


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## Pandora (Aug 2, 2014)

"A hailstorm of words", love that Ari. I'm one of those people who believe every moment matters and the connections made are for a reason. I wonder if you will remember Mrs Pink? Maybe she will one day inspire a character, I rather liked her. I so love your writing, you are a natural. Mrs Pink meant well, her enthusiasm for her grandfather, endearing, her excited nature unique. She had you all wrong, yes her conclusion way off base but it's nice to know there are those out there who care. I wonder the conversation if she had known you are an inspiring writer doing research. I think she would have loved that too, encouraged you on. Maybe you will cross paths again and you both might have a chuckle. I love moments like this, thank you for sharing with your special ways. 


My daughter looks much younger than her years, that works to her advantage too.


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## Ari (Aug 2, 2014)

*Escorial,* thanks 

Thanks *Schrody*, also. I see that bananas have gone out of fashion in favour of pineapples? 

*Pandora, *Thank you. You always give me nice compliments ^_^ 
I'm sure I will remember her. I don't think I could forget! If I see her again I'll have to try and start talking first, and probably plan my speech beforehand so I don't say stupid things again.  
But yes, I can see it's kind of sweet the way she cared so much to jump on a stranger like that. I wonder how I would've felt if I actually was a maths genius with low self-esteem... 

Ah! Maybe me and your daughter should be partners in crime. I can get in on a child's ticket at the zoo, too


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## Gofa (Aug 2, 2014)

Ari.  You just say. I'm here buying drugs.  I paid the guy and he said they were in this book but I can't find them. My day is ruined.


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## Plasticweld (Aug 2, 2014)

Not to insinuate, but this is all that ran through my mind as you told your story Proverbs 17:28


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## InstituteMan (Aug 2, 2014)

I always think of a witty thing to say only after something like this happens.


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## Schrody (Aug 2, 2014)

Ari said:


> Thanks *Schrody*, also. I see that bananas have gone out of fashion in favour of pineapples?



Bananas went Bahamas  They'll be back after their vacation ends


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## Ari (Aug 2, 2014)

*
Gofa:* ... you're just tryin' to get me arrested, aren't you ._.

*Plasticweld:* Yes, I suppose that does fit rather 

*InstituteMan:* It's so true! Especially for things like cutting remarks. If someone insults me, two hours later I'm going, "Man, I should've said _that_! It would've knocked him dead!" 

*Schordy:* Ahh, of course. So the pineapple is hired on a temporary contract.


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## ShadowEyes (Aug 2, 2014)

There're a lot of people that will go out of their way to get in your way. In fact, they might even get some kind of twisted pleasure in throwing up their opinions all over you like some kind of mother bird. Of course they're really chewed-up oranges. But oranges are good for your health; I know; I took a mandatory college health class. Anyway, so you have the terrible condition of looking needy to sort of people who go to Mass without confessing sins. It's proprietary to keeping up with the Joneses. Since you're already stuck to your seat in awkward terror, I offer one piece of advice:  dress like a leper.


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## Schrody (Aug 2, 2014)

Ari said:


> *Schordy:* Ahh, of course. So the pineapple is hired on a temporary contract.



Yep. I bet SpongeBob is craving for his return


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## Ari (Aug 2, 2014)

ShadowEyes said:


> [...] Of course they're really chewed-up oranges. [..]



Ha. I know what you've been reading... Have you forgotten that the only person who can get away with Locke Lamora games is Locke Lamora? ^_~


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## ShadowEyes (Aug 2, 2014)

Ari said:


> Have you forgotten that the only person who can get away with Locke Lamora games is Locke Lamora? ^_~



The Thorn of Camorr is a huge goof. At least in my mind. I guess it's the way he's written. He can be both melodramatic when he's excited, in pain, or failing. And he _does_ get beaten up a lot. Kind of like most bad-ass anime characters who kind-of feint their bad-assery with "deadpan snarkiness".

So... I guess I kind of smushed him together as Benedict Cumberbatch and Spike Spiegel.

Sorry for hijacking your post, Ari.


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## bookmasta (Aug 2, 2014)

This sounds just like my uncle. He tends to do the same with anyone he runs into sharing a similar interest.


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## Ethan (Aug 3, 2014)

I smiled the whole way through this lovely snapshot. Perhaps your protagonist had just watched a re-run of 'Good Will Hunting' and thought she had discovered a hidden talent1 I love observational writing, if it's well done there is an immediate rapport between the writer and the reader and this is very well done.


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## Ari (Aug 3, 2014)

*Bookmasta,* if I run into your uncle I'll have to be careful to let him know what I'm really doing before he gets carried away.

And thanks, *Ethan*  I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, and I love your avatar!


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## Cassafrass (Aug 3, 2014)

Seriously? People sometimes... lol. Very interesting scenario though, and funny story - thanks for sharing.


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## Morkonan (Aug 3, 2014)

Ari said:


> ...And she went off with the triumphant air of a lady who had just sorted out someone’s entire life for them.
> 
> Sigh.



But, you could see it a bit differently. For a brief moment, you gave her something wonderful. Through inaction, you let her feel a sense of accomplishment and altruism that few people get to feel, simply because they don't take the time to help someone else. Yet, this woman felt passionately enough about helping you that she entrusted you with something very personal. Whatever her initial motivations were, her act evolved into one of charity and shared vulnerability. Not a bad thing you did, by doing nothing. 

So, call up her uncle. Tell him you're a writer and you were doing some research for a new book when this wonderful woman took it upon herself to help what she thought was a struggling genius... You can not find better source material for your present needs than a prominent mathematician! He may be able to give you insights into his world that you would have never been able to discover. Sometimes, things just work out...


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## dither (Aug 4, 2014)

Morko,
what a wonderful idea.


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## Ari (Aug 4, 2014)

dither said:


> Morko,
> what a wonderful idea.



Yes, entirely, in theory. 
I see your point, Morkonan, that her desire to help was genuine, even if I failed to appreciate it at the time... and that she would have done a wonderful thing if I was what she'd thought me to be.

However.. to actually call a person I do not know and explain the situation? I am not a writer of any consequence. I just throw words around for fun, and to bother some genius mathematician...? I don't know. I lose what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm just trying to cover for the fact that, in all honesty, I don't think I can do it. Just thinking about it makes me go all squirmy and weird inside.


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## Mistique (Aug 4, 2014)

Ari said:


> Yes, entirely, in theory.
> I see your point, Morkonan, that her desire to help was genuine, even if I failed to appreciate it at the time... and that she would have done a wonderful thing if I was what she'd thought me to be.
> 
> However.. to actually call a person I do not know and explain the situation? I am not a writer of any consequence. I just throw words around for fun, and to bother some genius mathematician...? I don't know. I lose what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm just trying to cover for the fact that, in all honesty, I don't think I can do it. Just thinking about it makes me go all squirmy and weird inside.



So maybe the 'you shouldn't undervalue yourself' part of her little speach had a point?  Just teasing, well sort off, but you have a need and this genius mathemathcian can meet that need and might actually be pleased to do so (if he has any genes in common with Mrs Pink he probably does like doing it).

I work at a volunteer job matching volunteers to volunteer jobs. A few weeks ago I found the profile of a young woman who had spend eight years living in Namibia and who wanted to do volunteer work to get back into things and meet other people. I am writing a book that is in Namibia. I send her an email (after having asked permision from my manager at the volunteer job) explaining this to her and asking her if she would be okay with me meeting up with her and asking her questions about her experience of living in Namibia. She was thrilled (people often enjoy talking about what they love and I imagine that might be true for your math guy too) and I am meeting her at her home next week.


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## Bishop (Aug 4, 2014)

I wonder if, had you been reading "Mein Kampf" she would have had the number to an uncle who was a neo-nazi...


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## Ari (Aug 4, 2014)

*Mistique*: well, maybe... 
But wow, that's such a cool job to have! I didn't know jobs like that existed. I hope everything goes well with the person who was in Namibia. That's so lucky for you


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## InstituteMan (Aug 4, 2014)

Ari said:


> Yes, entirely, in theory.
> I see your point, Morkonan, that her desire to help was genuine, even if I failed to appreciate it at the time... and that she would have done a wonderful thing if I was what she'd thought me to be.
> 
> However.. to actually call a person I do not know and explain the situation? I am not a writer of any consequence. I just throw words around for fun, and to bother some genius mathematician...? I don't know. I lose what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm just trying to cover for the fact that, in all honesty, I don't think I can do it. Just thinking about it makes me go all squirmy and weird inside.



Pish. Call the dude up. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Besides, you can use an alias. It'll be fun, and it might work.


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## dither (Aug 5, 2014)

Ari said:


> Yes, entirely, in theory.
> I see your point, Morkonan, that her desire to help was genuine, even if I failed to appreciate it at the time... and that she would have done a wonderful thing if I was what she'd thought me to be.
> 
> However.. to actually call a person I do not know and explain the situation? I am not a writer of any consequence. I just throw words around for fun, and to bother some genius mathematician...? I don't know. I lose what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm just trying to cover for the fact that, in all honesty, I don't think I can do it. Just thinking about it makes me go all squirmy and weird inside.



I can see your point.

Well it seemed a good idea.


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## Morkonan (Aug 6, 2014)

Ari said:


> Yes, entirely, in theory.
> I see your point, Morkonan, that her desire to help was genuine, even if I failed to appreciate it at the time... and that she would have done a wonderful thing if I was what she'd thought me to be.



That's the spirit! I know it's difficult, but sometimes we just gotta try to see the "good" that's in front of us, even it if's annoying. 



> However.. to actually call a person I do not know and explain the situation? I am not a writer of any consequence. I just throw words around for fun, and to bother some genius mathematician...? I don't know. I lose what I'm trying to say. Maybe I'm just trying to cover for the fact that, in all honesty, I don't think I can do it. Just thinking about it makes me go all squirmy and weird inside.



You are a walking meatbag that has the unique ability of "choice." Whether or not that's an intrinsic property of ambulatory,squelching, odiferous, fleshsacks, I don't know. It could be due to something else, some non-local property or quantum interactions that we're just now beginning to discover. Or, maybe it's something else? Maybe the "soul" is truly the heart of the person and everything else is just bits of perception, called upon by the act of observation? Heck.. maybe...

Look - You have a choice. You can choose to just dither around with ink and words or you can take "the next step." In your pocket, you have a telephone number and a legitimate contact cause that at least one writer, somewhere, would be willing to pay good money for. Think about that for a second! You've got an opportunity and it's up to you to take advantage of it or not.

Is your writing not good enough? OK, that can be fixed! Unpublished no-name? No problem, everyone starts somewhere! Shy? You'll get over it once you start talking about cool math ideas! Afraid the story is stupid? Maybe it is! So.. fix it so it's interesting! 


The point is this - You can talk yourself out of doing anything you don't want to do. Heck, you talk yourself out of doing something you really want to do! Humans are crazy like that. So, what are you going to do, talk yourself out of this opportunity and then wonder "what if" for the rest of your life or are you going to grab a pen and a piece of paper and "get serious" about writing? It's only a phone call! One phone call, just to explore the possibility that someone could give you an insight into something interesting that few people on the planet could provide... It's just a phone call. That's all that stands between you and making the next big step.

PS: One of the "Universal Truths" - Everyone likes talking about themselves. You won't offend him. You might even make him smile for a bit. Is that so bad?


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## Ari (Aug 6, 2014)

Wow.
I've been staring at an empty Quick Reply box for fifteen minutes now, trying to think of something to say. Well, something other than "wow". 

I think... that you could probably convince anyone in the world that they were bold and strong and brave and good, even if they knew they were none of these things.

And after reading your reply, it occurred to me that if I doing nothing then Mrs Pink might think she had somehow failed. Instead of just knowing she made a mistake.
And I guess that's not really very fair on her. 
So maybe I could call tonight, just to explain, and then if her uncle wants to talk to me anyhow, I could say yes. And if he doesn't, then at least Mrs Pink wont be wondering what happened to the small maths genius she pounced on in the library.

Yes? No?


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## InstituteMan (Aug 6, 2014)

YES, Ari, by all means. This is the way lots of fun things start. Or nothing at  all starts. Give it a shot.


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## Morkonan (Aug 7, 2014)

Ari said:


> ...So maybe I could call tonight, just to explain, and then if her uncle wants to talk to me anyhow, I could say yes. And if he doesn't, then at least Mrs Pink wont be wondering what happened to the small maths genius she pounced on in the library.
> 
> Yes? No?



It beats standing in the aisle at the library, doesn't it? 

In fact, why not explain the situation to him just as you explained it above? Tell him you wanted to thank her for her good intentions and that you appreciate her concern. Maybe she'll discover a math genius, one day, so she should definitely keep it up. But, you're just a lowly writer-type who was looking for something interesting to write about that had to do with some of the more obscure daring-do going on in the very esoteric field of high-stakes mathematics! You know, a nice hook for the more cerebral minded reader and something you could build an interesting story around...

And, before you hang up, don't forget to ask if he has any suggestions you could pursue! 


Think about it like this - Everyone takes their "first step." Some of those steps are harder than others. Your "step" might just involve a phone call... That's not hard at all, is it? What's the worst that could happen? Maybe you'll discover a great ongoing conflict in mathematics, taking place right now! Maybe it'll be something that the world would love to read about? Maybe you're the next Dan Brown, just with a bit more in the numbers department? 

It's just a phone-call. Dial the number, smile, think happy thoughts and see what happens.

PS - Thank you for the kind words. But, you know what? People that are "strong" and "brave" and "good" are already like that. It just takes a little bit of reminding, sometimes. If your bit of "reminding" involved a few pixels worth of text from somebody, you got off easy!  Just keep reminding yourself that the qualities you value are already inside you. It's _your_ "choice" to allow them to emerge or not.


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## Ari (Aug 7, 2014)

Thanks, Morkonan.
 I'll call him tomorrow, after uni... and I think I will explain it just like that and see what he says. And maybe there will be stories to be found - because I think you can find stories anywhere - and maybe mathematical things will be a bigger part of the story than they were meant to be. 
Mystery and adventure in the mathematical world!

Thanks again.


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## Morkonan (Aug 7, 2014)

Ari said:


> Thanks, Morkonan.
> I'll call him tomorrow, after uni... and I think I will explain it just like that and see what he says. And maybe there will be stories to be found - because I think you can find stories anywhere - and maybe mathematical things will be a bigger part of the story than they were meant to be.
> Mystery and adventure in the mathematical world!
> 
> Thanks again.



Adventure awaits!

And, if it turns out that it doesn't, then your no further away from it than from where you started.


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