# Today, I remembered why I hate the gym . . .



## Sam (Aug 11, 2010)

Why is it you always get numpties going to gyms? These people who think a barbell is a new tasty snack from Snickers. The same people who take three-minute rest periods between each set, and hold up the machine you're trying to use! The same people who wonder why they aren't losing weight/gaining muscle, yet they spend their workout talking sh**e to the person standing next to them. The same effing people who get in my way and hold me up! The same people who insist on talking to me even though I'm wearing an iPod and I can't freakin' hear them! 

Today, I also remembered why I bought my own home gym . . . 

Here endeth the lesson.


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## Deleted member 33527 (Aug 11, 2010)

Amen.


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## Deleted member 33527 (Aug 11, 2010)

Actually the gym I go to isn't like that at all. People are really nice and considerate (most of the time) and everybody leaves each other alone. 

So...that sucks for you, haha.


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## Sam (Aug 11, 2010)

Yes, people are nice. That's part of the problem. They talk about the weather, what they had for breakfast, and how they're lamenting the fact that they can't find work. All the while, I'm trying to build a sweat to get a good workout in, and I can't do that because I have to answer inane questions about the most pointless things you have ever heard of! So I started bringing my iPod. 

"Are you talking to me? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! Maybe the black wires dangling from my ears might have given that away!"

What do I gotta do? Get a personalised T-shirt with the slogan: WORKING OUT! DISTURB AT YOUR OWN PERIL. And on the back: FOR THOSE LESS LITERATE: LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE!


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## Deleted member 33527 (Aug 11, 2010)

Maybe the problem is you're too approachable. You've gotta start looking totally anti-social, anti-people. I'm talking chains, freak all-white contacts, fangs, a tattoo that says, "I'll kill you if you talk to me." Maybe you could get your avatar tattooed to your ass and moon people if they try to talk to you, haha.


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## SoNickSays... (Aug 11, 2010)

Two words, Sam: swastika tattoo. 

Or, buy a t-shirt with this printed on the back:


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## alanmt (Aug 11, 2010)

I don't like it when people tie up two machines, going back and forth, when piles of people are in the gym.


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## Gumby (Aug 11, 2010)

alanmt said:


> I don't like it when people tie up two machines, going back and forth, when piles of people are in the gym.


 
Or when sweaty, dripping people don't wipe the machine off when they're finished.


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## Patrick (Aug 11, 2010)

The people at your gym will be giving you the name "anti-social". This is why the bike is so good; when you're on the flat everybody is talking to each other, but when you get on a climb the conversation just slowly fades away until it completely stops. Then, after remaining silent for so long, you start talking as they're sucking in the air. :wink:



Gumby said:


> Or when sweaty, dripping people don't wipe the machine off when they're finished.



To the male, dripping sweat is almost like a badge when in the gym, so the sweat on the machine is a sign of his victory.


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## caelum (Aug 11, 2010)

Nobody really bugs me at my gym.  Every once in a while somebody's like, "You on this?" Or I'll say that, but beyond that very little conversation.  I sorta know the till lady and she asks me about my life every once in a while.  All told, probably haven't had more than three real conversations in the place.  The people who hog the machines aren't cool. There's this one guy—just some huge bodybuilder type of a guy—who whenever he uses the bench-press machine, actually bench-presses another bench-press machine, and it can kind of suck if you're the one waiting in line.


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## Deleted member 33527 (Aug 11, 2010)

I think the people at my gym are uneasy around teenagers. Maybe that's why they leave us alone whenever we go.


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## Patrick (Aug 11, 2010)

caelum said:


> Nobody really bugs me at my gym.  Every once in a while somebody's like, "You on this?" Or I'll say that, but beyond that very little conversation.  I sorta know the till lady and she asks me about my life every once in a while.  All told, probably haven't had more than three real conversations in the place.  The people who hog the machines aren't cool. There's this one guy—just some huge bodybuilder type of a guy—who whenever he uses the bench-press machine, actually bench-presses another bench-press machine, and it can kind of suck if you're the one waiting in line to use one.


 
Caelum, you're not handling this situation very well. Just walk over to him and tell him that he's using YOUR bench-press machine.


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## Like a Fox (Aug 11, 2010)

There's a gym near my house that is all open-window looking out onto the street. I like watching all the plebs when I get to those traffic lights.
People cycling and rowing and doing that leg swingy thing that isn't really anything.

Haha.

I really want to join a gym. I think it'd be hilarious. But I have no moneys, so I've recently taken to going to my friend's house when she's not there and slogging it out on her exercise bike, and I also recently bought some weights. Being originally very fat-n-lazy inclined, I find the whole fitness thing fascintating and addictive. I can see how people become gym junkies. The discpline and control are alluring. I wish I'd figured that out ten years ago.


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## The Backward OX (Aug 11, 2010)

All that effort and sweat, and for what? Have you lot ever stopped and seriously considered why you're punishing yourself like that? What do you hope to achieve that the non-exerciser doesn't already have? I've reached the age I have without bothering too much about exercise.


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## Like a Fox (Aug 11, 2010)

Well lucky you. If I didn't exercise I would gain weight. My metabolism is shot. 
I maintained a 'healthy' weight for six years by throwing up and chain smoking. I don't do those things anymore, so if I don't exercise, I get fat again.


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## mandax (Aug 11, 2010)

caelum said:


> There's this one guy—just some huge bodybuilder type of a guy—who whenever he uses the bench-press machine, actually bench-presses another bench-press machine, and it can kind of suck if you're the one waiting in line.


 
I laughed out loud reading that sentence.  That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.


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## darknite_johanne (Aug 12, 2010)

mandax said:


> I laughed out loud reading that sentence.  That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.



It is. ^


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## caelum (Aug 12, 2010)

Sweet  As a guy who takes absurdist humour seriously, that's always good to hear.  In reality I've never seen someone hogging the machines (but then, it's a pretty small gym).  One time there were these two partners sharing the squat rack back and forth, and I had to just skip that machine; and in the winter there's always an outrageous lineup for the treadmills.  But these are more inconveniences of common sharing than deliberate hogging.


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## JosephB (Aug 12, 2010)

I really don't have any of those problems where I work out. It's not even a "gym" really -- they call it a "wellness center." There aren't any bodybuilders or preeners really. It's more of a community thing. Mostly people who are interested in staying healthy.

There are a few people who don't put weights back on the racks or hog machines etc., but staff is pretty good about admonishing them. There are family memberships, so there are some teenagers who work out there. Some of them can't seem to grasp the idea that you should put things back when you've finished them, or see that it's not a place to stand around and chat it up. But I guess that's to be expected.


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## mandax (Aug 12, 2010)

My favorite are the people at my university's gym who show up, lift weights for like 5 minutes, wander around the gym gazing at machines, talk for 45 minutes, and leave.  I mean, if I'm not going to work out, I stay home and watch South Park reruns (which is generally my choice anyway).  Why waste time at the gym if you're not going to work out?  Oh, right, because it makes a killer Facebook status.  "@ the gym, lolz."

Other than that, I don't mind the gym.  I just never go there because I'm lazy.


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## Like a Fox (Aug 12, 2010)

mandax said:


> Oh, right, because it makes a killer Facebook status. "@ the gym, lolz."


Haha. Yes.

I have a few pro athletes on my FB. Everyday they "update" their status with "Going to the gym". 
For serious.

Monday - Going to the gym

Tuesday - Going to the gym

Wednesday .... You get it.

Why keep typing it? Meatheads.


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## badjoke (Aug 12, 2010)

I have none of these problems because I work out in the middle of the night. At the 2:30 a.m., the whole place is mine. I could have one foot on the treadmill, one foot on the stairmaster, and both arms lifting all the barbells if I wanted. mwahaha


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## darknite_johanne (Aug 13, 2010)

Like a Fox said:


> Haha. Yes.
> 
> I have a few pro athletes on my FB. Everyday they "update" their status with "Going to the gym".
> For serious.
> ...



I wonder if that's part of their training regime... Typing.


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## Deleted member 33527 (Aug 13, 2010)

My friend got in a fight with a lady at the gym once. Claimed she stole her machine (the lady) even though my friend called dibs on it. There are no dibs on machines at the gym. Whoever gets there first...


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## Tom (Aug 13, 2010)

The irony I always found with gyms is that you never really find people there who want to lose weight, not at my age anyway. It's usually people who are fit and who have just managed to get it into their daily routine.

In fact, it kind of sucks, because it makes it all the more horrible going to the gym when you're quite big and want to lose weight, because you're just surrounded by people who look better, have worked harder and who might well be judging you.

Well, that's my reason for putting off joining one anyway. THAT and the money. £40 a months? I'd rather not thanks.


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## Deleted member 33527 (Aug 13, 2010)

I only had to pay twenty bucks for four months at my gym. I have an aerobics class at school so we all chipped in and we'd go every Thursday and Friday. I lost twenty pounds in that class.


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## Olly Buckle (Aug 13, 2010)

My mate had lost a few pounds and was looking generally fit, it turned out his BMW had broken down but there was a lot on in work so he had been walking four miles each way to and from. "It's great" he said "The gym never did anything, stank of sweat and cost a fortune; this works, it's pleasant to do and it's free".


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## Like a Fox (Aug 13, 2010)

Tom said:


> The irony I always found with gyms is that you never really find people there who want to lose weight, not at my age anyway. It's usually people who are fit and who have just managed to get it into their daily routine.
> 
> In fact, it kind of sucks, because it makes it all the more horrible going to the gym when you're quite big and want to lose weight, because you're just surrounded by people who look better, have worked harder and who might well be judging you.
> 
> Well, that's my reason for putting off joining one anyway. THAT and the money. £40 a months? I'd rather not thanks.


That's why I've never joined a gym, (and the $$). Funnily, I refuse to go to a gym until I'm fit. Then I'll probably want to go, because I won't feel like the big fat fatty, puffing 'n' wheezing in the corner.

There's something in that. As much as I needed to exercise when I was a lot bigger, the idea of doing so was not only abhorrent to me because I was unfit and it hurt, but also, I didn't want to look like a big fat chick trying to lose weight. I definitely worried too much what people thought back then. I still get traces of those thoughts now. Like people will see me jogging and think, "Christ, she needs it."

I never used to eat in public for the same sort of reason. Didn't need people thinking "Look at the way she slaughters that ice cream, no wonder she's a heifer."


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## Sam (Aug 14, 2010)

I've never looked at a person in a gym and thought to myself, "Damn, s/he could really do with being on that treadmill". Instead, I thought, "You're in my f**king way. Hurry up and get the _hell_ off that machine".


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## The Backward OX (Aug 14, 2010)

Like a Fox said:


> I didn't want to look like a big fat chick


 
That's an oxymoron. Where I come from, "chick" is used to describe an attractive young woman. Big and fat just doesn't do it for me.


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## JosephB (Aug 14, 2010)

The Backward OX said:


> That's an oxymoron. Where I come from, "chick" is used to describe an attractive young woman. Big and fat just doesn't do it for me.



Heh. Well, just about everywhere else, "chick" simply means female, and it can be modified as well -- fat chick, ugly chick, etc. I'd say there's an age limit on it, though. People generally don't refer to older women as chicks.


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## Like a Fox (Aug 14, 2010)

The Backward OX said:


> That's an oxymoron. Where I come from, "chick" is used to describe an attractive young woman. Big and fat just doesn't do it for me.


 That was unnecessary, I think.

I'm sure you've heard the expression "No fat chicks".


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## JosephB (Aug 14, 2010)

Hmm. I just now posted a job description on a website. I think I'm going to add that.


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## Like a Fox (Aug 14, 2010)

When I was in grade three someone wrote it on a desk in our classroom. They told us before they let us back in the classroom. I was so happy when I found it was on the other fat girls desk, not mine.


Edit - Lol, Joe.


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## The Backward OX (Aug 14, 2010)

Like a Fox said:


> That was unnecessary, I think.


Poorly expressed, on my part. Big is good.


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## Deleted member 33527 (Aug 14, 2010)

> When I was in grade three someone wrote it on a desk in our classroom. They told us before they let us back in the classroom. I was so happy when I found it was on the other fat girls desk, not mine.


In my freshman year the really "fat" girl was homecoming queen. She went up and did a rap about being big and being happy with the way she was and everybody voted for her.


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## caelum (Aug 14, 2010)

At my highschool graduation, there were these two gay guys, a couple, who went as eachother's escorts, and when they rounded the corner onto the stage and entered the view of the entire crowd, which was several thousand people, everyone broke into cheers.  I don't recall a single heckle or anything even close to that.


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## Patrick (Aug 14, 2010)

caelum said:


> At my highschool graduation, there were these two gay guys, a couple, who went as eachother's escorts, and when they rounded the corner onto the stage and entered the view of the entire crowd, which was several thousand people, everyone broke into cheers.  I don't recall a single heckle or anything even close to that.



Stop... I am welling up...


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## The Backward OX (Aug 16, 2010)

Merm, did anyone ever tell you you should be on the stage?


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## Patrick (Aug 16, 2010)




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