# Effects of alcoholism on children



## Fine_Man42 (May 26, 2018)

An element of a novel I'm writing involves the protagonist's father being an alcoholic.

I want to see if anyone has any information on the effects of living under a parent with alcoholism, so I don't misrepresent the issue.


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## moderan (May 27, 2018)

Google is your friend.


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## Phil Istine (May 27, 2018)

Fine_Man42 said:


> An element of a novel I'm writing involves the protagonist's father being an alcoholic.
> 
> I want to see if anyone has any information on the effects of living under a parent with alcoholism, so I don't misrepresent the issue.



The subject material is so far-reaching, one post (even a very long one) wouldn't do it justice.
Suffice to say that a child's perception of reality can become severely warped, and this can often be carried into the wider world later on.
There is a lot of information out there that can be researched.


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## Non Serviam (May 27, 2018)

Having a father who's alcohol-dependent doesn't necessarily affect children at all.  Why not write about a father who's abusing alcohol but is coping with it and refuses to let his drinking affect his family?

But okay, let's say the father is a problematic alcohol user.  If you're setting your story in the present day then by far the most likely result is that the parents will separate, the mother will get custody and will prevent the father from having access to the children.

But okay again, let's say the father is a problematic alcohol user and the mother is ineffectual or absent.  In that case what matters is how the father's alcohol use affects his behaviour.  Stereotypically he would become violent towards his children while drunk; but in reality the most likely symptom is depression (which can lead to a vicious cycle in which the father drinks to numb the pain and then hurts because he's drinking).  

The mother if present has several options.  She can confront the husband; or she can cover for him.  This means taking over to an extent, carrying out the tasks the father can't, possibly doing more on her career (a) to bring home the money he isn't and (b) to get out of the dysfunctional home environment.

From a fiction-writing point of view---in order to write this scenario effectively you need to know why he's drinking.  And do give it a reason!  In the real world alcohol dependency can arise from a variety of aetiologies including stupidity and boredom but in fiction, addiction should generally come from something the character is trying to cope with.  Exactly what depends on how dark you want your story to be.


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## Fine_Man42 (May 27, 2018)

To answer some of your questions, the father drinks because of his daughter, the protagonist. More specifically, his wife's family has a genetic disorder that affects those born with it with a sort of fairy-lycanthropy. His wife died trying to cure it, but when that ultimately failed entrusted him on her last few months to tell their daughter everything so they can hopefully find a way to live with it. Father instead tells daughter nothing and begins drinking again (he had struggled with alcoholism before), but he tries to manage it against the fear of what will happen to his daughter. Buuuut things don't turn out well for him, sadly.


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## Non Serviam (May 27, 2018)

Fairy-lycanthropy?


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## Fine_Man42 (May 27, 2018)

That's the best way I could describe it, but for brevity's sake think of it as a mental illness like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. I know that sounded utterly ridiculous out of context.


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## Kevin (May 27, 2018)

Non Serviam said:


> Fairy-lycanthropy?


mmm... Jekyll/ Hyde , bad creature/ good creature, examples of opposite-end of spectrum behaviors. The offspring of such often exhibit extremes, perhaps distortions, mutations of the 'normal or typical'...comedians and, um... artists. Not always. Sometimes they become addicts themselves. Mostly they are nothing out of the ordinary. Really, it's not a question that has any definite answers. So it becomes sort of pointless. Write whatever you want. You could search out tropes I guess. Family victims, apologists...Tree grows in Brooklyn,Leaving Las Vegas; angry family: Afflicted, Dolores Claireborn


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## Non Serviam (May 28, 2018)

Fine_Man42 said:


> I know that sounded utterly ridiculous out of context.



No, that's okay, attempts to summarise the plot of a prose novel usually do.  If you summarise Jane Austen she sounds trite and if you summarise Charles Dickens he sounds contrived and silly.  The best selling novelists alive today are people like Stephen King and J K Rowling and either of them could write convincingly about fairy-lycanthropy.

When I wrote "Fairy-lycanthropy?", I was fishing for more information.  Are you thinking about scenes where the worried fey step from their world into ours to try to support dad so that he can bring up their sister?


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## Fine_Man42 (May 28, 2018)

The condition works like this: the afflicted endures intense emotional stress (say a string of bad things happen at once or a single deeply traumatizing event), with which a portal in the Unseelie’s world (specific Nocturnal Fae which exist in our dreams) opens. The portal releases an odor that attracts Fae to it. If (and this a big if) a Fae crosses over, then the portal closes like a Venus fly trap and the inprisoned Fae escapes by tearing out from under the human’s skin. At this point, the human’s consciousness is squeezed out into the dream world. After a period of time, the Fae coughs up a seed like object that contains a new body for the human, which by then separates them permanently. 

The thing is, even though these Fae are often predatory (in their world humans show up every time we dream and they eat us, in which we wake up in our world unharmed), they aren’t violent or evil. They can speak and be reasoned with, and they are often confused and frightened. They are wild animals who’ve accidentally ended up in civilization, and they barely understand their surroundings. Sadly, when it a Fae ends up in our world, people blame the afflicted for what the Fae does even though both parties are separate people (that’s where we get myths about shapeshifters and werewolves). 

The condition can be managed, and there are people who study Fae related phenomena to better help those who have to live with these conditions.


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## Non Serviam (May 28, 2018)

Which implies that there's also a Seelie Court?


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## Fine_Man42 (May 28, 2018)

Yes. The “courts” are separate worlds that exist in different places just outside our perception. Unseelie and Seelie exist within our dreams. They aren’t a court per sae, more like seperate species of Fae existing in their own habitats. 

Unseelie and Seelie exist in what we would call nightmares or good dreams, respectively. People born as portals (Changelings) are naturally occurring and very rare, so it’s not some character specific curse.


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## SueC (May 28, 2018)

I misunderstood the discussion.


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## Kevin (May 28, 2018)

Excuse me Sue, but the subject is now the Seelie. Alcohol effects was yesterday's topic.


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## SueC (May 28, 2018)

I thought it was all the same thread. Sorry if I mis-spoke.


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## ned (May 28, 2018)

no Sue, you did not mis-speak - (sounds very Orwellian)

I like Non Serviam's idea that the boozy dad does his best despite his condition - so uncliche.


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## Fine_Man42 (May 28, 2018)

Exactly! The father, we find out, struggled against his fear of his kid for years. But he snaps one day and that kicks off the events of the plot.


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