# What About Love?



## Firemajic (Feb 8, 2016)

*I hear your words, but I'm disbelieving 
words of love are so deceiving 
romantic words of love are lies
the truth is hidden in alibies

My body responds to your touch
that's all I want... that's enough
I don't want love in disguise
hidden deceit and alibies 

Give me passion, that's enough
all I want is your touch
I will tell you lover's lies
and hide the truth in alibies

You hear my words, but I deceive  
my lies of love, you believe
my desire for you is disguised
in lover's lies and alibies....
*


----------



## PrinzeCharming (Feb 8, 2016)

I absolutely admire this! Body language is the true colors behind the foreign language trying to pass through our heart's ears. Speak _nothing_, feel _everything_. The way someone touches me is the way to my heart.


----------



## ned (Feb 10, 2016)

hello -

terrific rhythm and rhyming here, made this flow nicely.
the old dilemna, given a fresh twist here - loved the ending where the narrator gives the spiel!

would only say that 'the truth is hidden in your eyes' seems a bit off to me.
if it's hidden - how would you know? - needs something that is not quite 'hidden', perhaps.

pedantic to the last!
Ned


----------



## Sonata (Feb 10, 2016)

Three words - I love it.


----------



## bree1433 (Feb 10, 2016)

Wow! Your ability to describe and put feeling into your poems. It's something I really admire!


----------



## Ariel (Feb 10, 2016)

The rhyme and the meter is nice but where is the imagery?


----------



## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 10, 2016)

I liked it. Even if my brain didn't get any pretty pictures to make it go down smooth. 

This sounds like something that would be better spoken than read. 

As if you were directly telling this to someone, face-to-face in a conversation.

That kind of realism is refreshing.


----------



## Nellie (Feb 10, 2016)

Love IS deceiving..... that is what love can be to some... Very clever poem.


----------



## Firemajic (Feb 11, 2016)

Thanks to all who read and offered critique, your comments were appreciated. Thanks to all who "liked" this poem.


----------



## Phil Istine (Feb 11, 2016)

I enjoyed reading this poem and liked the way you used "alibies."  Although repeated, they were far enough apart to avoid that feeling of overdoing it.
I wasn't so sure about the final verse.  The use of "*you are believing"* felt like slightly awkward wording in order to preserve meter but, overall, the poem flowed well with a clear message.
Thank you for posting.


----------



## Firemajic (Feb 11, 2016)

Heey Phil... I fixed the line that you commented on.. I think it works better.. Thank you for your fabulous comments..

ned, I removed the "The truth is hidden in your eyes" ... Thank you both for your help..


----------



## Mesafalcon (Feb 16, 2016)

I was gonna click "like" for this, but it got so many likes already I felt it didn't need the help.


----------



## Firemajic (Feb 21, 2016)

Mesafalcon said:


> I was gonna click "like" for this, but it got so many likes already I felt it didn't need the help.




ummmm......................... Thanks? Yeah... Thank you.


----------

