# Ask Bishop!



## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

View attachment 5510


So. I feel like we need this. I'm opening myself up to any question you might have, past, future, or present. I will answer with the best of my knowledge and advice, also the internet.

Be warned. The answers you get might not always be the answers you seek, but I promise it will bring someone a laugh!

So what must you know? The velocity of a swallow? Why did your sister get married before you even though she's fantastically ugly? How long will it take the mods to delete this clear time-wasting thread? HOW BORED AM I?

Fire away.


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## Blade (Apr 25, 2014)

Any idea when Queen Elizabeth is going to die?:deadhorse: I have been in the mood for a 'value of the monarchy' crisis for years but as long as she hangs in there all is peaceful. How much longer?:blue:


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Oooh, going to be a long while, sir. You see, Queen Elizabeth is what we call a "golem." She was actually declared dead seventeen years ago, but because no one wanted to admit that the ACTUAL heir to the throne was Al Roker, they decided to pretend it didn't happen. They brought in a plastic surgeon and a necromancer and once the body parts were in place, the plastic surgeon... well, you can guess the rest.

I'm assuming that, given the unholy nature of her magic, we have a good three or four decades before they're forced to admit that King Al is the next leader of the British Empire.

Next question!


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## Potty (Apr 25, 2014)

Will I ever get enough money to buy a jet pack and lay waste to my enemies?


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## Greimour (Apr 25, 2014)

What made Shakespeare want to write and how did he get so good at it?


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## Lewdog (Apr 25, 2014)

How can you tell when sour cream has soured?


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## Pluralized (Apr 25, 2014)

If you close your eyes tight and concentrate, can you recall the sensation of suckling at your mother's teat?


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Potty said:


> Will I ever get enough money to buy a jet pack and lay waste to my enemies?



Well, Potty, I'd have to say...

Yes. You're going to have an odd way of achieving it though. Would you like to hear it? Of course you would. Stop whining. You're going to, three birthdays from now, realize that your life as it is needs to change. You're going to recruit yourself for a top secret spy agency which you will create for yourself and you will advertise on the web. A man, name unknown, will hire you for a top secret mission investigating Nigerian princes and their hidden fortunes. Being inept at any actual spying, you find yourself getting deeper and deeper into a web of lies and deceit, until eventually you're cast into the schemes that you were investigating in the first place! You'll scam for thousands. Then tens of thousands. And when you reach your 100k mark, your fellow false princes will show you to the vault. You'll be overjoyed by the sight of the gold, like Harry Potter REALLY would have been at Gringots bank, and you'll swim in the golden coins like Scrooge McDuck. 

Then, you and your original client devise a plan to steal the wealth, and it works, because really, how clever are false Nigerian princes? You will owe much of the money to the client--after all you missed your deadline of his original mission by about two decades, but you'll have just enough left to buy a jetpack. With which you will look back on your life in the high skies as you utilize a makeshift bow and arrow from a rubber band and paper clips to reign hot death upon those who have wronged you.

Next Question.


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Greimour said:


> What made Shakespeare want to write and how did he get so good at it?



This is the easiest question of all.

Hamlet is Hamlet to you. The adored play that is possibly the greatest drama of all time. Shakespeare? He wrote that in like... one fortnight. No editing, just made that crap up. Pasted his name on it and sent it in. Shakespeare needed money. BADLY. He was a TERRIBLE glove maker, so he couldn't follow in his father's business, and so he just made stuff up. He had some friends who owed him money and they started putting on the plays, and they got kinda popular.

He got good at it because he just was. Unfortunately, there's no better answer there.


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Lewdog said:


> How can you tell when sour cream has soured?



The very moment that the four winds of the skies converge upon the factory and the malestorm of hate shoots into the open roof above the Daisy factory, that... that is when sour cream becomes sour. Also ew.


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## Elvenswordsman (Apr 25, 2014)

Bishop said:


> This is the easiest question of all.
> 
> Hamlet is Hamlet to you. The adored play that is possibly the greatest drama of all time. Shakespeare? He wrote that in like... one fortnight. No editing, just made that crap up. Pasted his name on it and sent it in. Shakespeare needed money. BADLY. He was a TERRIBLE glove maker, so he couldn't follow in his father's business, and so he just made stuff up. He had some friends who owed him money and they started putting on the plays, and they got kinda popular.
> 
> He got good at it because he just was. Unfortunately, there's no better answer there.



Someone doesn't know their Shakespeare history very well


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Pluralized said:


> If you close your eyes tight and concentrate, can you recall the sensation of suckling at your mother's teat?



No. My mother was cybernetic, so I suckled at nothing. I was in fact fed a nutrient rich paste until I was nine years old. I miss that stuff...


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## Pluralized (Apr 25, 2014)

Sorry, my first question was kind of flippant. How about this:

In the absence of fresh ideas, how do you motivate yourself to write those 2k words every day?


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## Gyarachu (Apr 25, 2014)

How do you look so good?


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Gyarachu said:


> How do you look so good?



That's simple.

I'm married! I have a woman who wakes up everyday and tells me what needs fixing. I then prepare an outfit, to which she grimaces at the sight of, and I replace said outfit until she nods approvingly. Then I brush my teeth with toothpaste that she likes the scent of, deodorize with deodorant she enjoys the smell of, and then I put on my necklace--the one thing I know she's not a fan of. It's a silver USB flash drive on a golden chain (colors associated with one of the peoples' in one of my books, actually) and contains the whole of all my writing and blogging. For safe keeping. 

As for my physical make? Did you ever see that scene in "Stardust" where the ugly witch eats some of the star's heart to become really hot?

Pretty much like that.


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## Gyarachu (Apr 25, 2014)

Fair enough.

Could you describe the exact moment at which Plur will next stub his left big toe?


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## Plasticweld (Apr 25, 2014)

When will the internet be as out dated as a rotary phone, or a black and white TV. While there are still phones they don't look the same, while there are TVs they look nothing like what they did 30 years ago. 

 So describe what replaces the internet and how it works. I would l;ike to buy stock now in the start up companies for pennies.  I will also keep a copy of your answer taped above my desk, if you are right I will share with you my fortune, if you are wrong, well lets just say I will have a new story to write :}


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Pluralized said:


> Sorry, my first question was kind of flippant. How about this:
> 
> In the absence of fresh ideas, how do you motivate yourself to write those 2k words every day?



Okay, I'll get serious, since this question is about writing and this is a writing forum.

Honestly, it can be really hard. Especially when something is physically not going well for me. I actually failed today, only clocking in at 1790ish, because I ran out of ideas for the scene I'm in and I have a serious headache. But in terms of motivation, there's an element of forcing myself. I know that sounds 'easier said than done' but when it comes down to it, I know I have to DO to achieve. 

For a long time, at the end of my college time and just after college, I was dropping being a writer all together in favor of being a musician. I wrote songs that were sci-fi and fantasy and literary based (see, Iron Maiden, The Sword, etc.) and honestly? I didn't work at it everyday. I have these really cool snippets of songs I wrote, that I really enjoy listening to, but nothing ever got finished. 

When I got my new job in IT, they told me there'd be a lot of down time. I watched as the people around me just started goofing off on their computers. My deskmate watches ALL the youtube videos. ALL of them. And we have administrator access to everything so... 

But I decided to try and write something. It started with BEYOND LIGHT my first finished novel, on December 6 of last year. I wrote that novel in 43 days. After extensive editing and rewrites, I'm happy to report that I think of it as "not too shabby" and have Pancreas, Bowman, and Gamer2k4 reading it right now, God bless them. The day I finished the book, I wrote 10k words. I was so excited to have that accomplishment so close in sight that I couldn't stop. And when I put those last words on the page... I wanted more. I wanted to know what happened to my characters, see where they'd go next, who they'd kill, who they'd kiss, etc etc.

But there are some days where I just can't do it, but I push on. I look at one word and say "what word comes next?" knowing that yes, I'm still 100,000 of those away from the end, but by God as long as that next word gets typed in... I'm moving toward it.


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Gyarachu said:


> Fair enough.
> 
> Could you describe the exact moment at which Plur will next stub his left big toe?



Tomorrow when he wakes up, because this post is totally going to psyche him out and he'll walk by his dresser thinking, "LOL that bishop was just a phony," then "OW!"


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Plasticweld said:


> When will the internet be as out dated as a rotary phone, or a black and white TV. While there are still phones they don't look the same, while there are TVs they look nothing like what they did 30 years ago.
> 
> So describe what replaces the internet and how it works. I would l;ike to buy stock now in the start up companies for pennies.  I will also keep a copy of your answer taped above my desk, if you are right I will share with you my fortune, if you are wrong, well lets just say I will have a new story to write :}



I worked at RadioShack for a long time in college in a very small town, and I will quote what one of my customers said when a fellow associate asked his wife for their email address: (Please imagine this in the best good-ole boy voice you can...)

"DONCHYEW know that inner-net thing is jus' a FAD?! S'gonna be back tah regular mail in two... six years tops!"

I wish he was joking. I really do...

But honestly, eventually we're all going to have mental implants that are little bluetooth-y devices that uplink with the net at all times and our eyes will have interfaces that show us our facebook feeds and allow us to watch porn while our wife demands we watch season three of Sex and the City and we're SO FREAKING BORED AND WHY DOES SARAH JESSICA PARKER LOOK LIKE A HORSE?!

Sorry, that got a little _real_ there at the end. Next question!


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## alanmt (Apr 25, 2014)

What will be the subject of my next slam poem?


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## popsprocket (Apr 25, 2014)

Is it true that you can only move diagonally?

And does this pose problems when trying to get to Diagon Alley?


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## bookmasta (Apr 25, 2014)

What is the secret to life?


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## Plasticweld (Apr 25, 2014)

*WHY DOES SARAH JESSICA PARKER LOOK LIKE A HORSE?!

*Yes I agree, I thought I was the only one who saw that. So if she looks like a horse why am I sometimes attracted to her, this maybe more of a mystery than the future of the internet. One makes sense the other NO


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

alanmt said:


> What will be the subject of my next slam poem?



Most likely? Pringles. You seem like a guy that's got a case of pringles at home just waiting to become your muse. I'm guessing sour cream 'n onion.



popsprocket said:


> Is it true that you can only move diagonally?
> 
> And does this pose problems when trying to get to Diagon Alley?



I can only move diagonally ONLY when presented with a floor that is checkered or tiled with more than one color. In those instances, I MUST pick a color and diagonally move ONLY on that color. This presents real problems in most kitchens. Especially when they're on fire. As for Diagon Alley... I have no interest to visit Hogwarts. Honestly, it's not that I dislike Harry Potter, it's just that none of the ladies in that universe are "Bishop-Worthy." 



bookmasta said:


> What is the secret to life?



I don't know this one. I traveled to Tibet once, climbed a mountain face and met with a monk who was over two hundred years old and asked him what the secret to life was, and he told me, but honestly? I wasn't listening. I was really jonesing for a Coke and all he had was melted snow. Really distracted me, so I wasn't able to give him my full attention.

All I can remember hearing was: "Be... something something... Don't something something... Llamas." Yeah, that's it.



Plasticweld said:


> *WHY DOES SARAH JESSICA PARKER LOOK LIKE A HORSE?!
> 
> *Yes I agree, I thought I was the only one who saw that. So if she looks like a horse why am I sometimes attracted to her, this maybe more of a mystery than the future of the internet. One makes sense the other NO



You are sometimes attracted to Sarah Jessica Parker because, strangely, horses CAN have nice bodies. Somehow. Okay, we're getting into a weird area here...


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## Pluralized (Apr 25, 2014)

How can I best slow the passing of moments and wring the greatest amount of pure, dripping experience from this short life?


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## kilroy214 (Apr 25, 2014)

How come St. Louis gets all the White Castles, and Kansas City goes without? Riddle me that one?


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## Bishop (Apr 25, 2014)

Pluralized said:


> How can I best slow the passing of moments and wring the greatest amount of pure, dripping experience from this short life?



Weed.

I mean. Or so I hear.



kilroy214 said:


> How come St. Louis gets all the White Castles, and Kansas City goes without? Riddle me that one?



Because we rule, and you drool! Actually, I think it has something to do with demographics of cheeseburgers, which... honestly, that sounds like a pretty kickass job. "You know... I think St. Louis will be more into delicious, tiny squares of meat, cheese, and AMAZING grilled onions." I've got two whitey's within 5 miles of my house.


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## T.S.Bowman (Apr 26, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Oooh, going to be a long while, sir. You see, Queen Elizabeth is what we call a "golem." She was actually declared dead seventeen years ago,



Holy crap! The Queen Mother is related to Keith Richards???


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## T.S.Bowman (Apr 26, 2014)

Okay.Here's my question.

Am I ever going to be able to finish my book? I have 80K words(most of them pretty good ones) but I just can't seem to get past the part I've been working on for weeks now.


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## Schrody (Apr 26, 2014)

If humans slept as much as cats, where would we be today? Would we have a civilization at all?


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## Bloggsworth (Apr 26, 2014)

Why are you doing this?


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## T.S.Bowman (Apr 26, 2014)

Schrody said:


> If humans slept as much as cats, where would we be today? Would we have a civilization at all?



I would think we would be much more civilized.


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## Dave Watson (Apr 26, 2014)

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?


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## Ariel (Apr 26, 2014)

Dave Watson said:


> How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?



Easy, he takes the snowplow home.  He gets up early during the snow then he starts going.


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## N J Xkey (Apr 26, 2014)

Bishop - who's hotter, the black queen or the white queen?


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## Schrody (Apr 26, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> I would think we would be much more civilized.



Yeah, because we would be too sleepy 



Dave Watson said:


> How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?



That's a good question.


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## squidtender (Apr 26, 2014)

I've been poor and unhappy and now I have a lot of money, and I'm still unhappy. Where do I find happiness?


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## popsprocket (Apr 26, 2014)

squidtender said:


> I've been poor and unhappy and now I have a lot of money, and I'm still unhappy. Where do I find happiness?



Buy a fast car?


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## alanmt (Apr 26, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Most likely? Pringles. You seem like a guy that's got a case of pringles at home just waiting to become your muse. I'm guessing sour cream 'n onion.



And my new slam poem, Indesiderata, in which the awfulness of sour cream and onion pringles is a recurring theme, is now done and ready for performance in a few hours.  Thanks, Bishop!


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## Bishop (Apr 27, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> Okay.Here's my question.
> 
> Am I ever going to be able to finish my book? I have 80K words(most of them pretty good ones) but I just can't seem to get past the part I've been working on for weeks now.



Yes. Because even one more word is progress, and eventually progress becomes completion.


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## Bishop (Apr 27, 2014)

Schrody said:


> If humans slept as much as cats, where would we be today? Would we have a civilization at all?



We would have a civilization, but instead of houses and cars, we would all just put our stuff near our favorite item that radiated warmth for us to lay on.



Bloggsworth said:


> Why are you doing this?



The overlords demanded I do this.



Dave Watson said:


> How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?



Osmosis.



N J Xkey said:


> Bishop - who's hotter, the black queen or the white queen?



The Red Queen, of course. She can take of people's heads, so if I oppose her, bad things would happen.



squidtender said:


> I've been poor and unhappy and now I have a lot of money, and I'm still unhappy. Where do I find happiness?



I think I'm supposed to say "within" or something like that, but really it's escort services.


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## belthagor (Apr 27, 2014)

What do you think about me?


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## Grizzly (Apr 27, 2014)

How did you get to be so awesome? Show me your ways.


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## Bishop (Apr 27, 2014)

belthagor said:


> What do you think about me?



I think the question makes you seem insecure! Have some confidence! 



Grizzly said:


> How did you get to be so awesome? Show me your ways.



First off, thank you 

To answer the question, I was the seventh son of a seventh son, born on a night of a lunar eclipse. 

Okay, not really. I was the son of an engineer and a counselor, and my brother grew up to be a lawyer. I was the only artistic type, and I loved video games as opposed to Budweiser, making me quite the black sheep. I fell in love in high school and idly pursued my current wife (Bishopette) for three years while she dated a jackass. Eventually I invited her to a Dungeons and Dragons game (you can't make this up) and she accepted. In role-play, our characters flirted ENDLESSLY and through the DnD game, I courted her. Eventually she broke it off with Sir Jackass (his legal name) and just before graduation we started dating. Seven years later and we're married, own a house, and watch reruns of Star Trek together between DnD sessions  I had a circle of friends in high school who played video games (and DnD) with me and am still friends with my best friend of those days now. He lives across the neighborhood and we get together in the weekends sometimes for work nights, where he draws his comic and I write my books.

I had three people in my life I consider mentors (aside from my father). A high school English teacher who first told me I had a knack for writing imaginative stories, based on a creative assignment he assigned. Then, in senior year, I had a mentor who read my short stories about a badass female vigilante who was a jeweler by day and a fem-fatale-punisher by night. These stories were terrible, and he stuck through and made them less terrible. Then in college, I had another mentor who mentored me in a one-on-one course studying the novel. I read what he assigned and my "essays" were giving him chapters of a novel I worked on for him. The novel was about an FBI agent whose partner vanishes in the middle of an assignment and he comes to discover he was taken to the gates of Hell itself and with the help of a guitarist who sold his soul a-la Robert Johnson, the two break into Hell to bring him back.

Again. It was awful, but I got better with their help. 

The gist of the little tale above? I'm myself. I'm unapologetic about who I am and even though my surroundings were always against me, I grew into my own no matter what others thought. It might sound cheesy, but with patience and honesty, you really can just be yourself and things come out on top. At the end of the day, find the people willing to support you and support them in turn, and be who you are and if someone doesn't like it, they're probably going to end up bagging your groceries some day. Which is what happened with me, although it was one of my bullies who ended up working part time at Best Buy.


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## T.S.Bowman (Apr 28, 2014)

One of the many bullies in my life wound up working at a Mc Donald's. LOL

Why is it that those who think they are the best, wind up doing the worst? Egos?


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> One of the many bullies in my life wound up working at a Mc Donald's. LOL
> 
> Why is it that those who think they are the best, wind up doing the worst? Egos?



Those who believe they are on top make little effort to better themselves.


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## T.S.Bowman (Apr 28, 2014)

Wise words, indeed.


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## Schrody (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop, are you seriously 25, and why? I thought you're older, therefore, wiser.


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Bishop, are you seriously 25, and why? I thought you're older, therefore, wiser.



I am only 25! Why? Because the day of my birth was in 1989! I'm definitely wiser, but that's from years and years of outcast human observation. You know that song "Subdivisions" by Rush? Kinda explains my childhood. I was a dreamer and a misfit and never did what most people did with the parties and the debauchery. I read books, wrote books, listened to music and watched old action movies instead of... well, uhm whatever it was that kids did those days. Gussy up and dude it out? I don't know, I was never included. 

Also, thank you!


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## escorial (Apr 28, 2014)

i'm thinking of dating again...how will i know the right person for me?


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

escorial said:


> i'm thinking of dating again...how will i know the right person for me?



Well, there's a lot of different ways for a lot of different people. A few people older and wiser than me said it's when cheesy romance songs make sense in your head. Others say it's when you find the person who hates all the same things you hate. Some say it's when you have found someone who you can laugh with even in the most dire or serious of times. Some others think it's when the concept of physical loyalty does not scare you. And a few yet say it doesn't exist, and that you just need to find someone you can tolerate for whatever period of time you can tolerate...

For me, I realized it when I woke up next to Bishopette one day. We were living in separate apartments at the time. Hers was nicer, mine was what Spinal Tap was singing about in the song "Hellhole." Yet she still came to my apartment to sleep every night. Despite the cockroaches, the strange smell, the alcoholic with constant DTs who rambled nonsensical phrases through the night, the fact that I use the AC even in winter, the stack of guitar cases that I used as a coffee table, the fact that your socks kinda stuck to the floor when you walked, and that week where my toilet broke and... well, we wont go into that. But let's just say I was a BACHELOR. And she still wanted to sleep next to me every night. She went to Ireland the next day for a vacation, and during that week I woke up alone. That's when I realized two things: 1) My apartment was DISGUSTING. 2) I never noticed it until SHE wasn't there. Shortly after I asked her to marry me, and shortly after that we moved into a house together for the rest of our days in college, until after we graduated we married. Been deliriously happy ever since.


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## escorial (Apr 28, 2014)

hates all the things you hate...were is she..struck a chord that man...physical loyalty is easy for me as i don't enjoy sex that much..cheers man


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## kilroy214 (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> I've got two whitey's within 5 miles of my house.



Lucky bastard.

If the Rams go back to Los Angeles,  what will become of Busch Stadium?


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

kilroy214 said:


> Lucky bastard.
> 
> If the Rams go back to Los Angeles,  what will become of Busch Stadium?



Nothing! Busch Stadium is where the Cardinals play. The Edward Jones Dome, however, might have some financial trouble. Though, it's where they had St. Louis Comic Con this year, so if it goes, I'm going to need to find a new place to cosplay with Bishopette. Hopefully they just move it to a different convention center.


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## playerslayer666 (Apr 28, 2014)

if there was nothing for a black hole to absorb what would happen to it? remain stagnant for eternity?


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

playerslayer666 said:


> if there was nothing for a black hole to absorb what would happen to it? remain stagnant for eternity?



In short, Stephen Hawking theorized that black holes would eventually "evaporate." His evidence submits that black holes are not entirely black, but emit small amounts of radiation, or "Hawking Radiation". Quantum field theory suggests that a black hole emits particles in black body spectrum. If correct, black holes would shrink over time because they lose mass by the emissions of photons and other particles through this radiation. 

Thanks wikipedia!


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## Schrody (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> I am only 25! Why? Because the day of my birth was in 1989! I'm definitely wiser, but that's from years and years of outcast human observation. You know that song "Subdivisions" by Rush? Kinda explains my childhood. I was a dreamer and a misfit and never did what most people did with the parties and the debauchery. I read books, wrote books, listened to music and watched old action movies instead of... well, uhm whatever it was that kids did those days. Gussy up and dude it out? I don't know, I was never included.
> 
> Also, thank you!



I just can't believe I'm older than you! :icon_shaking2: You... you were like a grandfather to me :mrgreen: P.s. my childhood was similar to yours 



Bishop said:


> In short, Stephen Hawking theorized that black holes would eventually "evaporate." His evidence submits that black holes are not entirely black, but emit small amounts of radiation, or "Hawking Radiation". Quantum field theory suggests that a black hole emits particles in black body spectrum. If correct, black holes would shrink over time because they lose mass by the emissions of photons and other particles through this radiation.
> 
> Thanks wikipedia!



And most importantly, information "swallowed" by a black hole is NOT lost! For more, read Leonard Susskind's "Black Hole War".

EDIT: What if black holes are not shrinking, but expanding so it could one day "burst" and give birth to a baby universe?


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

Schrody said:


> I just can't believe I'm older than you! :icon_shaking2: You... you were like a grandfather to me :mrgreen: P.s. my childhood was similar to yours



I find that when you use the term "my wife" people perceive you as being a lot older than you are. That being said, I know Bishopette and I married young, but... she's really hot. I wasn't letting that go.



Schrody said:


> EDIT: What if black holes are not shrinking, but expanding so it could one day "burst" and give birth to a baby universe?



Mind. Blown.

But you asked "what if." Well, IF that's the case, then the baby universe will at one time contain a scribe known as "Bishop" who will go on to create the greatest science fiction tales of all time. Just like will happen in this universe. For in EVERY universe, there is one parallel: Bishop.


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## Schrody (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> I find that when you use the term "my wife" people perceive you as being a lot older than you are. That being said, I know Bishopette and I married young, but... she's really hot. I wasn't letting that go.



Yeah, I guess married people seems "older" and more "serious". You're not any of that, of course.  You shouldn't let her go, there's an inflation of hot babes right now.



Bishop said:


> Mind. Blown.



You're welcome 



Bishop said:


> But you asked "what if." Well, IF that's the case, then the baby universe will at one time contain a scribe known as "Bishop" who will go on to create the greatest science fiction tales of all time. Just like will happen in this universe. For in EVERY universe, there is one parallel: Bishop.



Of course, we cannot know what happens inside of a black hole, or what happens with black hole with time, we can only assume, but it's fun thinking about it. Some say if you'd survive black hole devastating gravity, you could go through white hole (some calling it wormhole) which would be at the "other end" of the bh and travel in time, ending in some random place in universe. For example, there's a super massive black hole in the center of the Milky Way (Solar System is on the "edge" of the galaxy, or as I like to call it a galaxy arm), and for some calculations, it's millions, maybe even billions years old. Maybe even older than Solar System (which is 4.6 Gya (billions of years) old). Astonishing.

We've probably never met in one of the parallel universes.


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

Schrody said:


> We've probably never met in one of the parallel universes.



We meet in EVERY universe, Schrody. EVERY.


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## Schrody (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> We meet in EVERY universe, Schrody. EVERY.



Nope. If there is something like parallel universe, in one we've met, in one we didn't, in one you're not even born... etc.


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## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

Schrody said:


> Nope. If there is something like parallel universe, in one we've met, in one we didn't, in one you're not even born... etc.



I am always born. I am the metagod.

I am the fabric that holds all universes together.


----------



## Schrody (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> I am always born. I am the metagod.
> 
> I am the fabric that holds all universes together.



Oh My God! You're Skeletor!


----------



## belthagor (Apr 28, 2014)

How do you feel about me? (Do Not Dodge The Question)


----------



## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

belthagor said:


> How do you feel about me? (Do Not Dodge The Question)



I feel like you could use some confidence! 

Also, bear in mind the answers (as noted in the opening post) may not be what you want to hear!


----------



## kilroy214 (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Nothing! Busch Stadium is where the Cardinals play.



Dang, I knew Rams + Busch Stadium didn't sound right. My bad.

What do you and Bishopette cosplay as? (I went to KC Comicon as Jane from Firefly, my daughter went as a Ninja Butterfly Assassin. It was AWESOME!)


----------



## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

kilroy214 said:


> Dang, I knew Rams + Busch Stadium didn't sound right. My bad.
> 
> What do you and Bishopette cosplay as? (I went to KC Comicon as Jane from Firefly, my daughter went as a Ninja Butterfly Assassin. It was AWESOME!)



Well, we're going to a con this summer. She's going as Tali from the Mass Effect games (working very hard on it too!) and I'm going as an Imperial Guardsmen from Dawn of War, Cadian 51st regiment.


----------



## A_Jones (Apr 28, 2014)

What is that odd black spot on the tip of my left pinky toe?


----------



## Bishop (Apr 28, 2014)

A_Jones said:


> What is that odd black spot on the tip of my left pinky toe?



If you stubbed it recently, it could be a little spot of clotted blood. But according to Web MD, you have the bubonic plague.


----------



## Gyarachu (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> If you stubbed it recently, it could be a little spot of clotted blood. But according to Web MD, you have the bubonic plague.



Quick! Contain her in a quarantine thread before it's too late!

Also, how much pizza is _too_​ much?


----------



## kilroy214 (Apr 28, 2014)

Bishop said:


> If you stubbed it recently, it could be a little spot of clotted blood. But according to Web MD, you have the bubonic plague.



I think they should change the name of WebMD to Youprobablyhavecancer.com


----------



## T.S.Bowman (Apr 28, 2014)

kilroy214 said:


> I think they should change the name of WebMD to Youprobablyhavecancer.com



Don't forget about Parkinson's. WebMD is really great if you want to find out that you have Parkinson's.


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

Gyarachu said:


> Quick! Contain her in a quarantine thread before it's too late!
> 
> Also, how much pizza is _too_​ much?



Once one goes beyond the bragging rights of "Dude, I ate a whole pizza in one sitting," you have gone too far. Thus, you may eat one entire pizza and no more. This is not true of other foods.

In the words of Jim Gaffigan: "You eat a whole pizza, and people say 'wow, you were hungry!' And if you eat a whole cake, people say, 'You've got a problem'."


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

alanmt said:


> And my new slam poem, Indesiderata, in which the awfulness of sour cream and onion pringles is a recurring theme, is now done and ready for performance in a few hours.  Thanks, Bishop!



Can't believe I missed this post before! I'm super excited, I'd love to read/hear this poem, Alanmt!


----------



## Gyarachu (Apr 29, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> Don't forget about Parkinson's. WebMD is really great if you want to find out that you have Parkinson's.



I laughed so hard. I am considering putting this exact quote in my signature. It was that funny to me. I even gave it a "like" as well as a "lol" because you can't "lol" it more than once.


----------



## dale (Apr 29, 2014)

hey bishop...in the game of chess? which is the most expendable? the rook or the bishop?


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

dale said:


> hey bishop...in the game of chess? which is the most expendable? the rook or the bishop?



The "experts" will tell you the bishop is more expendable. But that's in one dimensional chess. In three dimensional chess like in Star Trek (yes, I have a 3-d chess board) the bishop is the greater piece. Why? It's harder to visualize it's movement, and thus harder to consider. It's great to use for feinting an opponent with another piece, letting them attack, then counter as they never expected!

Also. You know, I'm a bishop. They're pretty cool for that reason too.


----------



## dale (Apr 29, 2014)

Bishop said:


> The "experts" will tell you the bishop is more expendable. But that's in one dimensional chess. In three dimensional chess like in Star Trek (yes, I have a 3-d chess board) the bishop is the greater piece. Why? It's harder to visualize it's movement, and thus harder to consider. It's great to use for feinting an opponent with another piece, letting them attack, then counter as they never expected!
> 
> Also. You know, I'm a bishop. They're pretty cool for that reason too.



lol. the bishop is always the martyr.


----------



## alanmt (Apr 29, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Can't believe I missed this post before! I'm super excited, I'd love to read/hear this poem, Alanmt!



It's in the poetry workshop, B!


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

alanmt said:


> It's in the poetry workshop, B!



Checked it out, loved it.


----------



## J Anfinson (Apr 29, 2014)

How many pounds are there in a metric crap-ton?


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> How many pounds are there in a metric crap-ton?



While the official terminology varies, the metric system's infamous 'crap-ton' also known as a 'buttload' comes to exactly 1 million kilograms, or 1,000 tonnes.


----------



## T.S.Bowman (Apr 29, 2014)

Gyarachu said:


> I laughed so hard. I am considering putting this exact quote in my signature. It was that funny to me. I even gave it a "like" as well as a "lol" because you can't "lol" it more than once.



Have at it. I would love to see something I said used as someone's signature. LOL


----------



## J Anfinson (Apr 29, 2014)

Bishop said:


> While the official terminology varies, the metric system's infamous 'crap-ton' also known as a 'buttload' comes to exactly 1 million kilograms, or 1,000 tonnes.



Fail. I asked for pounds.


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> Fail. I asked for pounds.



AH! Yes, so you did.

2204622.62lbs.


----------



## belthagor (Apr 29, 2014)

My turn again, Bishop do you think this is cute?
http://37.media.tumblr.com/ab68a300ff8c4ee4ad1e9ee3046d4bfb/tumblr_mxbqzkWP2P1sp6my9o1_1280.jpg


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

belthagor said:


> My turn again, Bishop do you think this is cute?
> http://37.media.tumblr.com/ab68a300ff8c4ee4ad1e9ee3046d4bfb/tumblr_mxbqzkWP2P1sp6my9o1_1280.jpg



Not bad. It's no husky, though it's clearly trying to be one.


----------



## belthagor (Apr 29, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Not bad. It's no husky, though it's clearly trying to be one.



Next question: What do you think is the best car in the world?


----------



## J Anfinson (Apr 29, 2014)

What are mosquitoes good for?


----------



## belthagor (Apr 29, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> What are mosquitoes good for?



boy do I have a good story related to this... but I will let bishop answer


----------



## Bishop (Apr 29, 2014)

belthagor said:


> Next question: What do you think is the best car in the world?



Aston Martin DB5. This might be because the only one of these I've ever seen came with machine guns and an ejector seat, though...



J Anfinson said:


> What are mosquitoes good for?



Nothing. At the beginning of creation God was making things and Satan demanded a turn to make SOMETHING. God, pissed off and sick of hearing Satan complain that he didn't get to create anything said that Satan could create ONE thing.

He made mosquitoes.


----------



## belthagor (Apr 30, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Aston Martin DB5. This might be because the only one of these I've ever seen came with machine guns and an ejector seat, though...
> 
> 
> *
> ...



We can challenge your answers right?

Mosquitoes make for good writing........
http://www.writingforums.com/threads/138095-Spider-Protected-me-from-the-Mosquito!


----------



## J Anfinson (Apr 30, 2014)

They're also one of the major foods for fish, apparently.


----------



## kilroy214 (Apr 30, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Aston Martin DB5. This might be because the only one of these I've ever seen came with machine guns and an ejector seat, though....



I always thought the Oil Slick Dispencer would be anice feature to deal with tailgaters on the highway.


----------



## Bishop (May 1, 2014)

kilroy214 said:


> I always thought the Oil Slick Dispencer would be anice feature to deal with tailgaters on the highway.



Not to mention the bullet shield. I do cut a lot of people off, and I live in Missouri... sooooooo....


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 4, 2014)

Hmmm..it would appear that people are out of questions to "Ask Bishop". Therefore, it will be up to me to come up with another.

Do fish sleep?


----------



## J Anfinson (May 4, 2014)

Why is reality tv popular?


----------



## Plasticweld (May 4, 2014)

I too see into future, only snap shots, no explanations, no context. 


I see Bishop, standing next to his convertible, one of those new ones, not sure what it is, as it is in the future; it is sleek and powerful. While some men might be accused of a mid life crisis for owning such a car, for him it is a natural fit. Though he is pale, he excludes confidence.  He wears an ascot and can pull it off without looking like a phony.  The man is a success in all that he does, beside him is his wife who wears a shirt that says " I have not read his work" it must be some form of cruel punishment. 

My question is, does he remember his friends on the writers forum when he's made it to the top?


----------



## playerslayer666 (May 5, 2014)

why do you not have more LOL's under your belt when you have your own topic dedicated to you answering dumb questions?


----------



## Gyarachu (May 5, 2014)

playerslayer666 said:


> why do you not have more LOL's under your belt when you have your own topic dedicated to you answering dumb questions?



I second this. Will somebody give Bishop a medal already??


----------



## ToriJ (May 5, 2014)

Have you ever checkmated someone in four moves?


----------



## Bishop (May 5, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> Hmmm..it would appear that people are out of questions to "Ask Bishop". Therefore, it will be up to me to come up with another.
> 
> Do fish sleep?



Yes, but they hide their beds really well, so no one has yet to find them. They believe this is the main purpose of the Mariana trench. And why the fish pushed the iceberg in front of the Titanic. They wanted those first-class deck beds. 



J Anfinson said:


> Why is reality tv popular?



Network executives don't let anything else be put on the air for the most part, and so people who don't read have nothing else to do but stare at it.



Plasticweld said:


> I too see into future, only snap shots, no explanations, no context.
> 
> 
> I see Bishop, standing next to his convertible, one of those new ones, not sure what it is, as it is in the future; it is sleek and powerful. While some men might be accused of a mid life crisis for owning such a car, for him it is a natural fit. Though he is pale, he excludes confidence.  He wears an ascot and can pull it off without looking like a phony.  The man is a success in all that he does, beside him is his wife who wears a shirt that says " I have not read his work" it must be some form of cruel punishment.
> ...



If I get a publishing contract, I still plan to come here and post everyday. I'm not leaving, ya'll're stuck with me! Of course, then the forum will fill up with my extensive fanbase wanting to chat with me... And yes, my wife will forever wear a shirt of shame.



playerslayer666 said:


> why do you not have more LOL's under your belt when you have your own topic dedicated to you answering dumb questions?



Only YOU can fix this. Press the LOL button now! Do it! Now! Get to the choppah!



Gyarachu said:


> I second this. Will somebody give Bishop a medal already??



Yeah. And some chocolate.



ToriJ said:


> Have you ever checkmated someone in four moves?



Only in the bedroom


----------



## belthagor (May 5, 2014)

Bishop, do you play video games?


----------



## Bishop (May 5, 2014)

belthagor said:


> Bishop, do you play video games?



I do! 

I'm a huge fan of Bioware as a game maker, starting with the original Knights of the Old Republic. My favorite game by a long shot is Mass Effect 2, but before anyone asks, yes, I loved Mass Effect 3 INCLUDING the ending. I just loved the aliens in ME2; you had so many more of them on your ship and the character development was better. Also, Martin Sheen as the Illusive Man is one of my all time favorite voice acting roles. I also love Dragon Age and can't wait for Inquisition to come out this fall.

In terms of other games I've played, the list ranges from Goldeneye 007 for the N64 to Dawn of War or Bioshock Infinite on my uber PC. I play RPGs, RTSs, FPSs, TPSs, Racing Games, Simulators, MMORPGs, and so forth. I've played and owned hundreds of games and now that I am a grown man with a career and a steady income, I find myself running out of games to play because now that I can afford them I can just BUY them and there's no arduous fear of which game to buy next with my allowance.


----------



## J Anfinson (May 5, 2014)

What happens if you ever manage to make it down to 0 bottles of beer on the wall starting at 1,000,000?


----------



## Bishop (May 5, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> What happens if you ever manage to make it down to 0 bottles of beer on the wall starting at 1,000,000?



The resulting implosion would result in the formation of a new galaxy.


----------



## J Anfinson (May 5, 2014)

Why do bats have eyes? What kind of cruelty is that anyway?


----------



## belthagor (May 5, 2014)

Bishop said:


> I do!
> 
> I'm a huge fan of Bioware as a game maker, starting with the original Knights of the Old Republic. My favorite game by a long shot is Mass Effect 2, but before anyone asks, yes, I loved Mass Effect 3 INCLUDING the ending. I just loved the aliens in ME2; you had so many more of them on your ship and the character development was better. Also, Martin Sheen as the Illusive Man is one of my all time favorite voice acting roles. I also love Dragon Age and can't wait for Inquisition to come out this fall.
> 
> In terms of other games I've played, the list ranges from Goldeneye 007 for the N64 to Dawn of War or Bioshock Infinite on my uber PC. I play RPGs, RTSs, FPSs, TPSs, Racing Games, Simulators, MMORPGs, and so forth. I've played and owned hundreds of games and now that I am a grown man with a career and a steady income, I find myself running out of games to play because now that I can afford them I can just BUY them and there's no arduous fear of which game to buy next with my allowance.



I could just hug you!


----------



## Bishop (May 5, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> Why do bats have eyes? What kind of cruelty is that anyway?



The real answer is probably something to do with evolution... but I think they added them just to make them terrifying. Then again, without them, they'd probably be more terrifying... >.>


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 5, 2014)

Which racing franchise do you find to be superior and why?


----------



## Bishop (May 6, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> Which racing franchise do you find to be superior and why?



Top racing games per Bishop:

5) F-Zero GX
4) Wave Race: Blue Storm
3) Burnout 3: Takedown
2) Extreme-G
1) Need for Speed Carbon

I'm doing this by time spent playing. In college, I played a LOT of Carbon. A LOT. Love that it was an illegal street racing and they finally set it AT NIGHT when illegal street races happen. Love the sci-fi ones for the obvious love of sci-fi I have, particularly Extreme-G, always enjoyed that since the gamecube first released. Burnout was always a party game with my friends and I, usually who can cause the biggest wrecks in crash mode, and lastly Wave Race is ALL about the stunt mode, where my brother and I spent many a Thanksgiving placing obscene amounts of money on who could achieve a larger trick score.


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 6, 2014)

If I were to base it on playing time, then the Gran Turismo franchise is the winner.

Actually, Gran Turismo takes it for me no matter what. I did enjoy NFS:Carbon quite a bit. I have also played an Essentials Edition of Forza and find it to be pretty good. Not quite on par with Gran Turismo, but good fr what it is. I have recently been playing NFS:Shift 2 which is also pretty good.

I have yet to play the newest GT game since I can't really afford a new system right now. But I'm hoping to get one sooner rather than later. 

I loved the original F Zero game.


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 6, 2014)

Ok...on to baseball video games...

MLB 2K...

or....

MLB:The Show

??


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 6, 2014)

Ok.serious question...

Should I enter the LM competition for this month?


----------



## Kepharel (May 6, 2014)

OK Bish....Why is it that people who get banned as soon as they join this site always seem to have unpronounceable names? 

_BTW Bowman I'm level 13 on Elder Scrolls Online now and I'm posting on here because the bloody Zenimax server is down for maintenance again _


----------



## Kevin (May 6, 2014)

> banned as soon as they join this site always seem to have unpronounceable names


They're spam-bots... fake member 'names' trying infiltrate the site with advertising posted by computer. Some of the more unintelligible are posts in foreign languages. The site's counter-spam  software picks up on the ones you see after they post. Often a 'link' in the post is the giveaway to their fake identity.


----------



## Kepharel (May 6, 2014)

Thanks Kevin  I was intrigued actually..... but that doesn't let Bishop off giving me a funnier, more creative answer.....


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 6, 2014)

Kepharel said:


> _BTW Bowman I'm level 13 on Elder Scrolls Online now and I'm posting on here because the bloody Zenimax server is down for maintenance again _



I dunno if you know what a "raspberry" is...but you are getting one right now.


----------



## Bruno Spatola (May 6, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> Ok...on to baseball video games...
> 
> MLB 2K...
> 
> ...



Neither. _Super R.B.I Baseball_ on SNES.

And Bishop, to put _NFS: Carbon_ into any top racing game list is absolutely crazy. The game didn't come _close_ to _Underground_ and _Underground 2, _or even the first_ Most Wanted.  

__Split-Second_ is probably the most interesting racing game in the last eight years. _Midnight Club 3: Dub Edition _deserves a mention. My tops would probably be:

_Burnout 3
NFS: Underground
__Split-Second
Ridge Racer
Gran Turismo_ 3 - 5
_Road Rash
Mario Kart

_


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 6, 2014)

Mario Karts rocks! Underground was really good too.


----------



## Bishop (May 6, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> Ok...on to baseball video games...
> 
> MLB 2K...
> 
> ...



I play no sports games aside from very old ones with my brother, like Tecmo Super Bowl, the R.B.I. series, Bases Loaded, Legends of the Diamond, and the one we play most often... Little League World Series for the NES. That game has seen some HEAVY betting.



T.S.Bowman said:


> Ok.serious question...
> 
> Should I enter the LM competition for this month?



Yes! I know I did. 



Kepharel said:


> OK Bish....Why is it that people who get banned as soon as they join this site always seem to have unpronounceable names?
> 
> _BTW Bowman I'm level 13 on Elder Scrolls Online now and I'm posting on here because the bloody Zenimax server is down for maintenance again _



Well, there's the reason that Kevin said... but the REAL reason is that the secret internet intelligences that are just beginning to come into being and gain sentience have been analyzing all text on the web. Because they're looking at facebook posts, they believe those unintelligible and inane posts are our language, and the names that you see are their way of trying to integrate into our internet lingual tradition. Neat, huh? Anyway, they're not smart enough yet to actually do anything but spam, so the mods ban them.



Bruno Spatola said:


> And Bishop, to put _NFS: Carbon_ into any top racing game list is absolutely crazy. The game didn't come _close_ to _Underground_ and _Underground 2, _or even the first_ Most Wanted. _



Nooooo! I loved the hokey-jokey, over the top characters, I loved the introduction of classic cars, like the 68 Camaro! I loved classifying the cars by type (exotic, muscle, tuner) and most of all... NEVILLE IS MY BEST FRIEND.


----------



## J Anfinson (May 6, 2014)

You've got a paperclip, three eggs, a roll of toilet paper, and a calendar displaying cute kittens. How would you escape your prison cell?


----------



## Bishop (May 6, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> You've got a paperclip, three eggs, a roll of toilet paper, and a calendar displaying cute kittens. How would you escape your prison cell?



First, I'll need a distraction. 

I begin by taking the eggs out into the "yard" during "outside time" and juggling as a show for some of the larger and more dangerous criminals. I gain their trust and love, and then fry eggs on the sidewalk (I'm in prison in Nevada in August, right? Okay, good) and I share my plan over the fine meal. That night, Chubbs Mackenzie, the leader of the Mackie Mack gang starts the distraction by getting in a brawl with Joseph "the Elbow" Tataglioni. Their cell is opened and guards rush in to try and break them up.

This is when I bribe Guard Thomas with the cat calendar. You see, I heard through the grapevine that he has a Calico at home, and is in the market for another cat. So, he takes the calendar (which is lined with $100 bills, right? Because otherwise, I don't see him letting me out of my cell with JUST the kittens) and I'm on the run with my last remaining tools: the paperclip and the toilet paper. I sneak into the guard locker room and I pick the lock on a nearby locker and hide inside. I play the waiting game. I wait and wait until there's only one guard in the showers and I sneak to him in the shower and unravel the toilet paper and throw it all over him! The wet toilet paper sticks to his skin and he's left trying to contain the situation when I sneak behind him and knock him unconscious. Now, I start to realize the toilet paper might not have been necessary.

I'm out of tools, but that's alright. I steal the showering guard's uniform and assume his identity. I walk to the farthest end of the prison, a different building than the guard normally works in and I pretend to be a new transfer. They accept me easily into their ranks, and soon I excuse myself from their poker game and say I need to grab something from my car. They let me out of the main gate and... viola. 

Freedom.


----------



## J Anfinson (May 6, 2014)

Very good. I would have braided the toilet paper into a noose to take out that showering guard, but overall nice work.


----------



## Bishop (May 6, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> Very good. I would have braided the toilet paper into a noose to take out that showering guard, but overall nice work.



Wasn't sure what I was in prison for, didn't want to add murder to the rap sheet if I could avoid it. 

Next question(s)!


----------



## bookmasta (May 6, 2014)

J Anfinson said:


> You've got a paperclip, three eggs, a roll of toilet paper, and a calendar displaying cute kittens. How would you escape your prison cell?



Clog the toilet and let in overflow. When the guard comes past the cell, egg him. Follow up with the calendar of cute kittens as a distraction. When he becomes absolutely lost in their fluffiness, stab him in the eye with the paper clip. As he falls, grab the keys from his belt, and make a run for it. This is, of course, assuming if we're talking about a jail cell with bars. Otherwise, this plan goes down the drain.


----------



## escorial (May 6, 2014)

If another species arrives from another galaxy will humanity understand their POV?


----------



## belthagor (May 6, 2014)

And time for my question..

Bishop will you review this?

http://www.writingforums.com/threads/147192-Another-lovey-dovey-poem-from-me

I thought it was a bit too much but I'm not sure


----------



## Bishop (May 6, 2014)

escorial said:


> If another species arrives from another galaxy will humanity understand their POV?



Humanity? No. Bishop? Yes. The President will call me up and be like, "Heyo, Bishop. Gonna need your sci-fi expertise here!" And I'll make peace with the aliens and gain their technology, then I will betray humanity and use their superior weaponry to enslave the world. Muwahahahahaha!

- - - Updated - - -



belthagor said:


> And time for my question..
> 
> Bishop will you review this?
> 
> ...



Sure, but I'm about as good with poetry as a dog is at advanced calculus.

Next Question(s)!


----------



## belthagor (May 6, 2014)

Bishop, are you an alien?


----------



## Bishop (May 6, 2014)

belthagor said:


> Bishop, are you an alien?



Probably. Ask my wife, she'd know.


----------



## Bard_Daniel (May 7, 2014)

Is Galatic Ciivlizations 3 any good?


----------



## Bishop (May 7, 2014)

danielstj said:


> Is Galatic Ciivlizations 3 any good?



Don't know! It's not out yet. Going to be made by Stardock, and I like some of the other stuff they've made. Suppose we'll have to see...


----------



## Gyarachu (May 11, 2014)

Are you alive!?!?


----------



## Bishop (May 11, 2014)

Gyarachu said:


> Are you alive!?!?



Of course I am! I've been sick the past few days, and kinda hanging out with some of my close friends, so I've not been online in the last couple of days, but yes. I am alive. At least that's what the scientists who watch me through that two way mirror in my living room say...


----------



## Gyarachu (May 11, 2014)

Bishop said:


> Of course I am! I've been sick the past few days, and kinda hanging out with some of my close friends, so I've not been online in the last couple of days, but yes. I am alive. At least that's what the scientists who watch me through that two way mirror in my living room say...



Phew. I thought for sure you had succumbed to the plague... Which would have really been a tragedy considering your wife's students are the ones who got you sick.


----------



## Bishop (May 12, 2014)

Gyarachu said:


> Phew. I thought for sure you had succumbed to the plague... Which would have really been a tragedy considering your wife's students are the ones who got you sick.



I nearly have. I've been barely able to do much other than drool these past few days, at least between fits of coughing.


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 12, 2014)

Why is it I seem to have a very negative impact on my computers? And how do I fix the newest one. It will connect to a certain program over the net, but my browsers won't work.


----------



## Blade (May 12, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> Why is it I seem to have a very negative impact on my computers? And how do I fix the newest one. It will connect to a certain program over the net, but my browsers won't work.



I would try shutting down the computer using re-start and see what happens. This has worked for me by getting rid of something that is running behind the scenes.


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 13, 2014)

Blade said:


> I would try shutting down the computer using re-start and see what happens. This has worked for me by getting rid of something that is running behind the scenes.



That was one of the first things I did. I found out that one of my "protection" programs (heavily endorsed by the salesman at Best Buy) actually stripped a couple of the internet/network protocols while it was removing "threats". 

I have done all the things that were suggested by the help sites and nothing has solved the problem. 

Maybe Bishop will know. LOL


----------



## J Anfinson (May 13, 2014)

Get a bigger hammer. And duct tape. Lots of duct tape.


----------



## T.S.Bowman (May 13, 2014)

HAH!! Now there is something I have yet to try. LOL


----------



## Bishop (May 13, 2014)

T.S.Bowman said:


> That was one of the first things I did. I found out that one of my "protection" programs (heavily endorsed by the salesman at Best Buy) actually stripped a couple of the internet/network protocols while it was removing "threats".
> 
> I have done all the things that were suggested by the help sites and nothing has solved the problem.
> 
> Maybe Bishop will know. LOL



Ah, yes. "Protection" programs. So many programs that claim to protect your computer do so by adding redundant systems that Windows/Mac OS already have built into them. I'm going to assume you're using Windows, as 63.47 percent of computers are Windows based... 

When you try and access the browser, does an error message come up? What browser are you using? What programs are connecting to the net? Let me know the answers to these, we might be able to track down the issue.


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