# why does each person try and come up with something new



## whoamI (Oct 16, 2007)

i dont really know what to say.  I am a college student who no longer finds enjoyment in life.  My life is full of incredibly good things occuring right alongside incredibly awful things.  I am awaiting my time to end and while i wait i plan to leave my thoughts.  i used to have a passion and a gift in writing and therefore i will leave my thoughts on paper as it seems to be something to keep me busy until my life is at its end.


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## rcc (Oct 16, 2007)

The fact that you are writing is evidence that you haven't entirely lost interest in life. Everyone enters dark, lonely, seemingly meaningless phases of life, many times. Though it doesn't seem like it when you're in the mire, light will come. This is the cosmic way of things. Just don't resist or try to make a mood of being happier when you are not. A cliche that holds true is "What you resist persists." Keep writing. It's an excellent way to get through the hard times.


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## Shinn (Oct 16, 2007)

Hi and welcome to Writing Forums, whoamI 

~ Shinn


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## whoamI (Oct 16, 2007)

I can understand your belief that i am in the dark and am looking for the light.  But i am not.  I hate to complain as i feel selfish, but my life is no longer useful for anything but passing on my knowledge to the next person.  I know i may sound like i am just another young person who is in a depressive phase and who knows that is always a possibility.  but i wonder if that is just a reaction that everyone gives because that is what they experience.  Not everyones experiences are the same i remind you.  My life has been filled with pain since i can remember.  With every good thing came something equally as bad if not worse.  I have been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses.  yet here i am complaining.  This is not what i meant to do.  i mean only to explain that everyone is different and maybe for some of us we wont follow the natural events of life.  I am not here to complain as i have no need to complain.  despite the pain and the unhappiness i am content with my life because it is my life.  But i wont lie and say that when and if it finds an end i wont be underappreciative of the gift of death.


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## Mira (Oct 16, 2007)

Life is only what you make of it. If you are not content with the life you are living, or find no meaning in it, then change it! There are some many ways to give your life meaning. It may sound cliche, but some volunteer work usually gives people a feeling of self-worth. Or what about learning a new skill? Or perfecting the skills you already have (such as writing!)? We all go through rough times in life, the most important thing is to fight past these times, with the knowledge that things will get better. Hope you are able to find this better period of time!!


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## Hawke (Oct 16, 2007)

Hello and welcome to the forums, whoamI. So glad you've joined our community.  

The advice you've received is excellent. Hopefully coming here will also help. I find writing quite cathartic, be it short stories, novels, or even blog writing. 

Enjoy the site and the many wonderful people here. And if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to PM me.


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## Charlie_Eleanor (Oct 16, 2007)

Death is a good thing to respect.  But, death will be much sweeter if you have actually lived your life.

So, my friend, instead of sitting here taking the time to think about what you are going to pass on to other people...why not think about what you want and do it.  Life is as equal a gift as death.  You are only eating half of the pie.

I am sure your experience is very unique to anyones, just as mine, and everyone else on here is.  My challenge to you is to make it as interesting as you can.  Do something crazy that you have always wanted to do.  Take control!  Experience things!  Pass that on to people if you want.  

You know that you are going to die, but you don't know how long you have to live.

And if I die before I wake,
I hope I ate that cherry cobler in the freezer...




whoamI said:


> I can understand your belief that i am in the dark and am looking for the light. But i am not. I hate to complain as i feel selfish, but my life is no longer useful for anything but passing on my knowledge to the next person. I know i may sound like i am just another young person who is in a depressive phase and who knows that is always a possibility. but i wonder if that is just a reaction that everyone gives because that is what they experience. Not everyones experiences are the same i remind you. My life has been filled with pain since i can remember. With every good thing came something equally as bad if not worse. I have been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses. yet here i am complaining. This is not what i meant to do. i mean only to explain that everyone is different and maybe for some of us we wont follow the natural events of life. I am not here to complain as i have no need to complain. despite the pain and the unhappiness i am content with my life because it is my life. But i wont lie and say that when and if it finds an end i wont be underappreciative of the gift of death.


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## Charlie_Eleanor (Oct 16, 2007)




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## female_writer (Oct 16, 2007)

whoamI said:


> i dont really know what to say. I am a college student who no longer finds enjoyment in life. My life is full of incredibly good things occuring right alongside incredibly awful things. I am awaiting my time to end and while i wait i plan to leave my thoughts. i used to have a passion and a gift in writing and therefore i will leave my thoughts on paper as it seems to be something to keep me busy until my life is at its end.


 

If youre a writer then your gonna be depressed some times, just come to terms with that fact and stop being so damn dramatic. 

Creative people are hyper-aware of everything around them, hence the ability to chronicle it well.This very trait can also make them ultra-sensitive to things that seem to roll off everyone else.

Its a trade-off, as is everything in life.

Stop sulking and start using your talent to help yourself and others.

Looking forward to reading your work.


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## Nickie (Oct 17, 2007)

First of all, welcome to the forum. Next, I'm not young anymore, have gone through many things - and I can assure you: life is worth living. Nothing is so bad that it can't be changed. But only if YOU want to. That's the most important thing. You need to be willing to make those changes. I knew a girl who had a tumor in her head, and although she felt sad at times and was crying for a while, she still kept up her teaching job until she could no more. Being in the class with students and the contact with the other teacher helped her a lot, she always said.


Nickie


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## Andy James (Oct 17, 2007)

whoamI said:


> i dont really know what to say. I am a college student who no longer finds enjoyment in life. My life is full of incredibly good things occuring right alongside incredibly awful things. I am awaiting my time to end and while i wait i plan to leave my thoughts. i used to have a passion and a gift in writing and therefore i will leave my thoughts on paper as it seems to be something to keep me busy until my life is at its end.


 
This is pretty much what I was about to post in my thread.

I have a diary of ramblings stories and life experiences that I want to try and organise into a book that my parents friends and family can read so they can try and understand the daily struggle I have with Bi-Polar disorder.


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## whoamI (Oct 17, 2007)

*thank you*

Thank you for your replies and your feedback.  I realize that my job in life is to pass on the knowledge that i have gained in life to others.  It is always what i have been good at and it is what i enjoy doing.  this is the reason why i am becoming a teacher.  However my life will always be full of a sense of mediocrity and misery.  i was diagnosed with crohns disease and since then my life has been fulll of misery, and yet at the same time full of learning.  i have grown old faster than anyone my age.  I have problems with my body that usually dont happen until you are old.  I have learned from this and have used my condition to improve myself and am always trying to do so.  But i will always feel that when my death comes, which will probbalby a lot sooner than it otherwise would have been, i will gladly accept it.  Despite the joy that i still sometimes find in life i am getting worse and worse everyday.  My days are filled with constant pain.  I am determined that it is my job in life to give what knowledge i have learneed so early to my peers before my time comes thus my writing comes around.  Once again thank you.


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## batwing (Oct 17, 2007)

*Just joining and reading.........*

Hi all....this is my first visit and first post to this site. I'm a frustrated writer at heart. LOVE to read,LOVE to write. Should have oodles of ideas for childrens stories from my 25+ years as a school bus driver. I'm almost 70.Took up bike riding this past summer and have been kayaking since I was 55. Just flat-water....nothing exciting like rapids. Too old for that! I LOVE all animals and have several dogs. Would have more if I could. Have 3 kids,many grandkids,step grandkids,half grandkids,etc. Oldest is 24,youngest is 2 1/2. 
Some fun!! 
WhoamI.....I have to address your problem of Crohns disease! My youngest daughter was diagnosed at 17 with celiac disease. Have you ever been tested for that?? It's quite often misdiagnosed as Crohn's,as well as other ailments. Also,I've read many times in "alternative medicine" articles,etc. that the diarrhea that comes with Crohn's can be much alleviated by eating 
Archway coconut macaroons!!! Don't know why,and don't know why it has to be Archway......must be some special ingredient or something. Just 3 or 4 cookies a day,so they say. It's sure worth a try. 
Looking fwd to "meeting" all of you.......


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## Foxee (Oct 17, 2007)

Hi, whoamI,

I don't have any wisdom to impart that's really adequate or that I feel you'll accept. I'll simply extend a wholehearted "Welcome!" and encourage you to interact here...don't simply chronicle your thoughts but allow yourself to be a part of the community.

It would be a disservice for you to hold yourself away from people willing to know you.

Glad you're here,

~Foxee


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## Foxee (Oct 17, 2007)

Oh, and welcome, Batwing...feel free to make your own introductory thread!


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## female_writer (Oct 17, 2007)

Andy James said:


> This is pretty much what I was about to post in my thread.
> 
> I have a diary of ramblings stories and life experiences that I want to try and organise into a book that my parents friends and family can read so they can try and understand the daily struggle I have with Bi-Polar disorder.


 
Hi Andy James,
Almost missed you, you kinds snuck in there.
I think your idea of a book for your friends n fam sounds wonderful.
Whatever it takes to enlighten our loved ones on why we torment them as we do, right? 

Welcome.


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## smilinghelps (Oct 17, 2007)

Charlie_Eleanor said:


> Death is a good thing to respect.  But, death will be much sweeter if you have actually lived your life.
> 
> So, my friend, instead of sitting here taking the time to think about what you are going to pass on to other people...why not think about what you want and do it.  Life is as equal a gift as death.  You are only eating half of the pie.
> 
> ...



You are wise beyond your years Charlie!  The pie metaphor~ Damn girl, you makin' me hungry!:lol:


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## Lost in Some Story (Oct 17, 2007)

mmmm Cherry Cobbler.


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## Andy James (Oct 17, 2007)

female_writer said:


> Hi Andy James,
> Almost missed you, you kinds snuck in there.
> I think your idea of a book for your friends n fam sounds wonderful.
> Whatever it takes to enlighten our loved ones on why we torment them as we do, right?
> ...


 
Thanks for the kind words.

It's mainly for my mother and father. I keep my feelings and emotions so deep inside me that I have come to realise that my pain is their pain and to share my darkest thoughts with them when my mood changes, is one way I can try and give back after I have taken so much.


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## female_writer (Oct 18, 2007)

Andy James said:


> Thanks for the kind words.
> 
> It's mainly for my mother and father. I keep my feelings and emotions so deep inside me that I have come to realise that my pain is their pain and to share my darkest thoughts with them when my mood changes, is one way I can try and give back after I have taken so much.


 
Most people keep their real feelings buried sweety, youre not doing so bad their. Learning when it is appropriate to reveal our deepest selves is a journey in life that I believe never ends.

If you are truly (diagnosed) bi-polar (and its not just some label they slapped on your back as people tend to do when someone is maybe just clinically depressed) may I say something?
Its a much more common dis-order than you probably realize at your young age. People live with it, learn coping skills and even thrive, many with medication, some without. 

As parents, we view our unconditional love as our childrens birthright, so dont worry too much about "repaying" them.

Always remember that YOU are stronger than your thoughts, thoughts are fleeting, the core of who you are as a strong human being cannot be taken away by some scary thoughts that knock on the door of your mind, tell those thoughts to go to hell and dont answer the door next time. Empowerment excercises like this really helped a family member of mine.


Good luck


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## VigorousMastication (Oct 18, 2007)

I apologise if this post offends anyone.

I'm sorry, but your post reeks of self-pity and defeat. You talk about how your life has been filled with pain, but then without pain and anguish, how would you ever learn to appreciate the good things in life? Everyone goes through pain and loss, just as everybody eventually breaks down. If it's physical anguish that plagues you, you can brace yourself for it. Your body eventually gets used to it. If it's mental, then you need to quit with the excuses and get on with life. You can either start living or start dying, and for most people that's a pretty simple choice.

You sound like you have a rough deal. So what? Others do too - some of them worse than you - and they aren't lying down waiting to die. You come on here moping about how bad your life is and then tell us that you want to share your wisdom as though you've somehow learned something that we haven't in your short life. I'm sorry, but if your wisdom involves crying over your own poor hand then you should probably save it for yourself. You don't have a monopoly on suffering.

I don't mean to degrade you, but I don't have time for those who defeat themselves. Why don't you think about those in worse positions than yourself; what if you were born into destitution with the illnesses you have, without proper medical support or even clean water. What if you were a quadriplegic trapped inside a shell of a body, unable to function as a human being? Shit, Hellen Keller was blind, deaf and mute, and look what she managed to accomplish. As long as you're still breathing, the only thing stopping you from doing _anything_ is yourself.


VM


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## female_writer (Oct 18, 2007)

VigorousMastication said:


> I apologise if this post offends anyone.
> 
> I'm sorry, but your post reeks of self-pity and defeat. You talk about how your life has been filled with pain, but then without pain and anguish, how would you ever learn to appreciate the good things in life? Everyone goes through pain and loss, just as everybody eventually breaks down. If it's physical anguish that plagues you, you can brace yourself for it. Your body eventually gets used to it. If it's mental, then you need to quit with the excuses and get on with life. You can either start living or start dying, and for most people that's a pretty simple choice.
> 
> ...


 
I could be way off but Im sensing that these guys are very young so I wanted to be tender I guess.

Time teaches us all that we arent the only one on the planet with a "story" and some pain.

I figure the self-absortion of youth is a right of passsage, I dunno.


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## VigorousMastication (Oct 18, 2007)

yeah, I get that, but I don't think we're doing him any favours by pitying him. From the sounds of things, people have been feeding him sympathy all his life. Like I said, I apologise if anyone was offended by what I wrote.

Cheers! 

VM


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## whoamI (Oct 18, 2007)

*roflcopter*

well i am trying not to be mean here but this is a little frusterating. My guess would be that you have just read this one and none of the others so i wont exactly be an ass back. Or at least ill try not to be. But heres something for you jackass. Im dying. So maybe next time you could chose not to assume as it would spare me wasting my time getting angry. Thank You very much.

Oh and also people havent been pitying me.  I understand the fact that you could think that.  But i am in pain eveyday of my life.  And i refuse to take my pain meds because it dulls my mind.  So yes i pity myself because i have to make the choice between living a life of complete dullness, or a life of intense pain but a mental awareness.  And i could go on and on about the things that I can no longer do because of the fact that my body is dying.  You see no one pities me because no one knows except my roomates, my best friend and my parents.  Pretty much the reason why i joined this site is writing is a way for me to let loose what no one knows.  It is nice to finally get rid of some feeling that i havent told any one else.  So i am sorry if i seem like i am being a pain in the ass and pitying myself, but i am and i feel that i damn well have the right to, oh and it is my stories.


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## whoamI (Oct 18, 2007)

oh and something else that i didnt see because i only glanced at your post at first, yes there are other people who have it worse, but they to have their days when they are severely depressed.  Once again your are assuming as i have only been on here a day so you have no clue as to what my regular mood will be.  As i think i have explained else where sometimes i get depressed because i get very tired of the pain, and you obviously you dont know what it is like because you say that your mind will eventually bring you past your pain.  You are incredibly wrong.  Anyways mostly i am happy.  i would never commit suicide, but when the end does come then i will be happy to say good bye to the pain.  And in terms of helping people i have already had the pleasure of passing on some wisdom to someone who pm'd me as he too has a condition that he has trouble with.  Those of you who do not have similiar conditions and try to judge, are very frusterating because it is your perspective and you dont know what it is like.  And you say well why cant you get past yourself and you try and judge me trying to tell me that i am pretty much pathetic.  If you were in my position you would have days of utter depression too.  My yet again repeated advice to you is this.  Assuming makes an ass out of you and me.


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## VigorousMastication (Oct 18, 2007)

We got off on the wrong foot and that's my fault. You're dying? So is everyone else. I understand that it's natural to get depressed when bad things happen; I've been there. However, I don't think this is an excuse for self pity. In fact I don't think there's _any_ excuse for self pity; it serves no purpose and only reinforces the problem.

I'm glad you're mostly happy, but from what I read you seemed to wallow in your illness as though it somehow defines who you are as a person. It doesn't; it has probably shaped your outlook on life, but it isn't the sum of you as an individual. Give us the person rather than illness.


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## Andy James (Oct 18, 2007)

VigorousMastication said:


> We got off on the wrong foot and that's my fault. *You're dying? So is everyone else*. I understand that it's natural to get depressed when bad things happen; I've been there. However, I don't think this is an excuse for self pity. In fact I don't think there's _any_ excuse for self pity; it serves no purpose and only reinforces the problem.
> 
> I'm glad you're mostly happy, but from what I read you seemed to wallow in your illness as though it somehow defines who you are as a person. It doesn't; it has probably shaped your outlook on life, but it isn't the sum of you as an individual. Give us the person rather than illness.


 

Shame on you for judging this man. What right do you have to _criticise _his outlook on the world. You don't know him you don't have his illness. 



If more members are like yo I'm going to give these forums a miss. You cretin, sort yourself out.


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## Andy James (Oct 18, 2007)

female_writer said:


> Most people keep their real feelings buried sweety, youre not doing so bad their. Learning when it is appropriate to reveal our deepest selves is a journey in life that I believe never ends.
> 
> *If you are truly (diagnosed) bi-polar (and its not just some label they slapped on your back as people tend to do when someone is maybe just clinically depressed) may I say something?*
> Its a much more common dis-order than you probably realize at your young age. People live with it, learn coping skills and even thrive, many with medication, some without.
> ...


 

I have been clinically diagnosed and I am on medication for the rest of my life. I'm not wallowing in self pity either I was just trying to introduce myself. But enough of this personal nonsense. I really shoudn't have posted any that stuff if old mate moral fibre is going to tell everyone how they should cope with their lives.


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## female_writer (Oct 18, 2007)

Andy James said:


> I have been clinically diagnosed and I am on medication for the rest of my life. I'm not wallowing in self pity either I was just trying to introduce myself. But enough of this personal nonsense. I really shoudn't have posted any that stuff if old mate moral fibre is going to tell everyone how they should cope with their lives.


 
When you choose to post on a public forum, youre going to get extremely varied responses, understand that by posting your "story" you are in effect asking for advice/opinions.

Maybe VM isnt as empathetic as you hoped, and his delivery is a bit rough, but maybe their is a kernel of truth in what he said that you can learn and grow from.

BTW- "clinical diagnosis" is more common than you think.
Most peole I know fall into this category.
The rest are either lying about it or havnt gone to the doc yet to be labled.


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## Andy James (Oct 18, 2007)

female_writer said:


> When you choose to post on a public forum, youre going to get extremely varied responses, understand that by posting your "story" you are in effect asking for advice/opinions.
> 
> Maybe VM isnt as empathetic as you hoped, and his delivery is a bit rough, but maybe their is a kernel of truth in what he said that you can learn and grow from.
> 
> ...


 
I don't want empathy. 

There are too many know it all fuckwits on these forums. Delete my account.


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## whoamI (Oct 18, 2007)

hmm. andy i hate to say this but maybe you should step back for a second and look at the situation.  i too was a little angry when reading VM's post, but FM is right.  It is a forum.  which means that their will be a discussion about just about everything that you post.  Everybody believes that they are right and for this reason you will probably get a response or two that will not be to your liking.  But just as much as the other person is wrong their is mostly likely a kernel of truth in what they are saying.  The point, i believe, to these forums is to sort through what others say and use it to make your own decisions.


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