# hate



## escorial (Jan 11, 2014)

a wasted emotion
consumes the soul
never lets you free
is plain for all to see
behind dead eyes
only you know why


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## Vitaly Ana (Jan 11, 2014)

Very well done Escorial. Well written and thought out. I see you continually improving in your work


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## escorial (Jan 11, 2014)

appreciated VA


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## Kevin (Jan 11, 2014)

> is plain for all...
> only you


- a contradiction... I like it. The position/use of the line with 'is' is...risky but works. 

I don't see anything to cut. Multiple ideas communicated; shows insight; very concise; A+


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## escorial (Jan 11, 2014)

Thanks....I knelt down in a church and prayed..." I don't know if you exist but free me from this pain,anger and misery."....an today my daughter who I hav'nt seen for two years sent me a message..."dad I miss you."....as I write this my tears are falling with joy.


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## Kevin (Jan 11, 2014)

s'good mate... all the connection... you sent her something, eh? Not too much, but a little something...couple a words.


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## ThatNewDude (Jan 12, 2014)

Totally in agreement here. Great work again
Funny how hate works its way in our head huh?
Now, I'm actually wondering what your long form poems might look like, Esc. 
Glad to hear that you reconnected with your daughter, bro...


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## escorial (Jan 12, 2014)

cheers man been very emotional the last 24 hours....still feel on top of the world though....my fav long poem i put on here is working class aristocrat.

[h=2]working class aristorcrat[/h]i was born into aristocracy
me garandad was a miner
my father was a docker
me mum was a aristourcrats daughter

brought up on a council estate
next to the workmans mission
mum often helped out in the kitchen
very respected old dear

holidays in a statley home
mums family never at home
servants showed us were to go
pictures of family history on the wall

dad enjoyed being a toff on holiday
drank claret and smoked cigars
mum helped servants do there work
i played in the great hall

when mums dad died she cried
dad expressed sadness and regret
lawyer visited an read the will
me i just played in the street

dads now lord of the manor
mum acts like a lady to
my carfree days are gone
im now an aristourcrats son.
__________________​


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## ThatNewDude (Jan 12, 2014)

Dude you gotta write more of these long forms and post them up here. 
Good work, damn...


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## Pandora (Jan 12, 2014)

escorial said:


> Thanks....I knelt down in a church and prayed..." I don't know if you exist but free me from this pain,anger and misery."....an today my daughter who I hav'nt seen for two years sent me a message..."dad I miss you."....as I write this my tears are falling with joy.


oh, she is blessed to have you, you her, so very happy for you both.

Yes give her a poem, Dad, no better way to know a heart.


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## escorial (Jan 12, 2014)

thanks TND....i write stuff then cut it up..will try..thanks for input man.
pandora you get it all don't ya...cheers


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## Douglas (Jan 12, 2014)

That is a great poem with a strong message that resonates 'truth' with me.

Life can present situations that you can choose how to react to.
From personal experience, hate is a natural human ego response. Turning it into love instead, is the soul's response.

Great news about your request and hearing from your daughter.


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## escorial (Jan 12, 2014)

thanks Douglas


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## Blade (Jan 12, 2014)

Visceral brevity will set me free.:joyous:

Excellent piece. One of life's tough rows.:confusion:


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## escorial (Jan 12, 2014)

Cheers Blade..


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## Daevid (Jan 12, 2014)

I felt most of these lines were dead on arrival. Soul-consuming, never letting you free, "dead eyes" are all extremely common conceptions of how almost any psychological pain expresses itself. For that reason I found virtually nothing interesting in the first five lines.

"only you know why" was a wonderful line to read, though. That thought cuts in a lot of directions at once.


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## escorial (Jan 12, 2014)

D.O.A....cheers man


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## Gyarachu (Jan 13, 2014)

escorial said:


> Thanks....I knelt down in a church and prayed..." I don't know if you exist but free me from this pain,anger and misery."....an today my daughter who I hav'nt seen for two years sent me a message..."dad I miss you."....as I write this my tears are falling with joy.



That is amazing escorial! :joyous: So happy for you!

I'm in my campus library right now reading this, and I'll admit I shed a few tears myself. Had to keep my head down so no one would see, hehe...

And the poem is brilliant, I love this concise kind of poetry. As always, you hit it right on the mark.



> I felt most of these lines were dead on arrival. Soul-consuming, never letting you free, "dead eyes" are all extremely common conceptions of how almost any psychological pain expresses itself. For that reason I found virtually nothing interesting in the first five lines.



There is a reason certain phrases are so popularly used; they provide the most accurate and faithful description. To neglect them and try to contrive a new, unique way of saying things frequently results in a loss of truthful emotion. Sure, it will sometimes provide more flowery poetry, but the caveat is that it usually ends up being less than perfectly faithful to the sentiment. In a piece like this, the raw emotion is more important than pretty, clever word usage.


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## escorial (Jan 13, 2014)

Thankyou..Gyarachu....it's been an amazing last few days...my eyes see the world in a different way maybe it's the end of my poetry....but your words are lovely..thankyou so much.


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## PiP (Jan 13, 2014)

escorial said:


> Thanks....I knelt down in a church and  prayed..." I don't know if you exist but free me from this pain,anger  and misery."....an today my daughter who I hav'nt seen for two years  sent me a message..."dad I miss you."....as I write this my tears are  falling with joy.



Escorial, hate is all consuming and can distort our vision of the world. I'm _so_ happy your daughter made contact with you and like Gyarachu, tears also welled up within me.


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## Gyarachu (Jan 13, 2014)

> my eyes see the world in a different way maybe it's the end of my poetry



A loss for us, but I think it's a fair trade-off :wink:


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## escorial (Jan 13, 2014)

thankyou pigletinportugal...so nice of you to say..truley

Gyarachu.....a fair tarde-off..couldn't have put it better myself..thanx


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## Rain (Jan 14, 2014)

I love this!!!

I have a friend that is consumed with hate, and you can see how very useless this emotion is.
She is imprisoned by these negative emotions and seems she can't seem to figure out how to move on.

This poem spoke to me, like all good poems are suppose to.

Thank you 

PS. Your short and sweet aren't ya? lol


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## escorial (Jan 15, 2014)

thankyou Rain....i feel for your friend..imprisoned as you say is a perfect description of what it does to you.


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## Daevid (Jan 17, 2014)

Gyarachu said:


> Sure, it will sometimes provide more flowery poetry, but the caveat is that it usually ends up being less than perfectly faithful to the sentiment.



I am not suggesting that we avoid all pre-existing idiomatic turns of phrase for the sole purpose of novelty and "flowery poetry." The point is that as phrases pass into popular usage they cease to be metaphors in the evocative sense and become synonyms for simple words, and thus sacrifice introspective resonance for surface emotionality.


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## escorial (Jan 17, 2014)

I like the idea of surface emotionality to describe simple words in a very introspective piece..cheers man


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