# What's your love story?



## MamaStrong (Feb 14, 2015)

It's Valentine's Day. I'd love to hear how you met your significant other. What's your love story?

Single? That's OK. Tell me what your ideal mate would be? Who do you love the most? A special friend? A parent? Yourself? 

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone! I believe today isn't about being with a partner...but about love....in anything.


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 14, 2015)

Ideal mate? For me: someone who's funny, kind, charitable, open-minded, honest, knows what they want, has a deep love of all the arts and sciences, and is smarter than me. That's about it.


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## TJ1985 (Feb 14, 2015)

I'm single. I'd like to find a woman who could take me as I am rather than what I own, but who would understand that people do change over time. Who would grow with me, rather than grow away from me. And she'd also need to understand that I have a sense of humor that's always going to be part of who I am. She'd like a quiet evening at home as much as she'd like a wild night on the town, and she'd be willing to watch the few old movies that I will always stop and watch when they come on TV. 

Oddly, it is because of these reasons that I'm still hopelessly single!


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## Deleted member 56686 (Feb 14, 2015)

For me the perfect woman would have a decent amount of intelligence but above anything else have the uncanny ability to make me laugh.


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## bazz cargo (Feb 14, 2015)

I have already found the perfect woman, just don't tell the wife.


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## Boofy (Feb 14, 2015)

I have a Valentine this year! Woop! 

I've an affinity for funny men and I'm a real sucker for shy women. Beyond that, I admire natural empathy, self awareness, warmth, mockery and spontaneity :3 (They'd have to put up with my eccentric sense of style and video game obsession, too)

Looks for me aren't really an issue, though in men I often prefer much older. ^^; heh, eep


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## belthagor (Feb 14, 2015)

Boofy said:


> *I have a Valentine this year! Woop! *
> 
> I've an affinity for funny men and I'm a real sucker for shy women. Beyond that, I admire natural empathy, self awareness, warmth, mockery and spontaneity :3 (They'd have to put up with my eccentric sense of style and video game obsession, too)
> 
> Looks for me aren't really an issue, though in men I often prefer much older. ^^; heh, eep



Who is it?


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 14, 2015)

My ideal partner. Hell if I know lol. As long as they can handle a borderline satanic, super queer with loads of baggage.


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## Bruno Spatola (Feb 14, 2015)

Now, if _Satanic Super Queer _isn't potentially the best album name of all time, I don't know what the fuck else could be.


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## Pidgeon84 (Feb 14, 2015)

Funny that you say that. That's totally my next single!


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## popsprocket (Feb 14, 2015)

I tend to like women who are my opposite. This, of course, causes lots of problems.


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## Boofy (Feb 14, 2015)

belthagor said:


> Who is it?



I am stalwart in my refusal to give a full disclosure! I am also a big baby ^^


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## Loveabull (Feb 14, 2015)

What a great topic! My partner and I have been together almost thirty years. It's not easy...in fact we divorced and remarried, that's how difficult it can be. In hindsight I wish the good fairy had come to the reception with a basket of bully puppies and another of kittens. Then pulling us both forcefully in a corner said " You have one child already, concentrate on him and getting meaningful careers and no more human offspring". That's where the baskets of puppies and kittens would come in. A flock of creatures that will cherish the ground you walk on. Unlike human children that can push all the boundaries right over the edge.

It's so different now though. At midlife you might remember the vow "in sickness and in health" and it will bring you closer than ever before. You're there for each other in ways you never dreamed possible. But the best part is someone who has seen you at your best and worst. Someone who knows you better than you know yourself. And it's okay, you complete each other and bring out the best in each other. Oh and we're both devoted to our "son", an American bull dog who stole both our hearts.


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## Plasticweld (Feb 14, 2015)

The first time I saw my wife, I was in Algebra class staring out the window at the girls gym class.  Back then, in a day when it was ok to be a winner.  The girls would race across the field and the two girls who were the winners would be the captains of the two teams for whatever sports they were playing that day. 


I sat in awe as I watched  Linda sprint across the field,  She had broad shoulders and powerful legs. She was a swimmer, gymnast and captain of the girls ski team, she was also gorgeous.  I thought to myself, _that girl would make great breeding stock,  _I was at the time on path to be a dairy farmer so such thoughts where not only reasonable but very practical. 

I joined the ski team.  I have always been a entrepreneur,  I had a car a 1966 Chevy Belair at the time and did not even have my license yet.  Not one to be deterred my minor things such as the law I drove anyway.  We skied back then at Crotchet Mountain which was about 50 miles away.  I would fill my car with girls on the weekend charge them all five dollars which would put gas in the car and buy me lunch for the day.  Linda was one of the girls I approached about giving a ride to, as transportation to get to the mountain was always a struggle.  It was not long before I was not charging her for the ride up.  I still had a car full of girls just one of them did not have to pay.  We dated until we married, she was a grade a head of me and I always thought that it was so cool that I could be dating a girl like her.


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## am_hammy (Feb 15, 2015)

For awhile I've been a lone hammy so to answer the question of what I look for, I think of two things right away: Humor and Intelligence. It seems to be a theme among many which I think is great. I need to laugh. It's vital to laugh. Makes your heart feel good. I also want to be able to have an in-depth conversation with someone. I want someone to challenge my mind, keep me on my toes. I know I have other qualities I pay attention to (however I would start to ramble >.>), but these will suffice for now.

I want to dedicate the "who do you love the most" question to my mommy. We get closer every day. I can tell her anything and I don't know what I'd do without her. We've had our rough patches but I know without a doubt she'll always be there for me and be my mom ^_^


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## cinderblock (Feb 15, 2015)

Somebody who's also an artist of some kind and extremely obsessed/diligent with it, as I am. That is the only way I feel I'd ever commit. When I'm writing a story, I spend zero time with anybody. I don't text, I don't talk to anybody. I don't go out, period. All I do is work, work out, and write. The only free time is when I eat, I'll turn on Netflix, and I'll dedicate 30 mins to an hour to reading a day. None of the women I've met so far have been able to understand my anti-social lifestyle lulz. When I finish a story, I'll do nothing but play videogames, write ideas, and have psychadelic experiences.


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## Crowley K. Jarvis (Feb 15, 2015)

No valentine this year. Honestly I'm glad! All the women I know are either twice my age, my relatives, or have mental issues.  I may have been born in Alabama but I say if I don't remember than it doesn't count. Whew. Dodged bullets better than Neo, I did. 

Now this is gonna sound silly but it's important.
I look for a girl that stands up straight. Posture shows much. And takes care of her hair. And a girl that shows respect and love in her own household. To her parents, brother or sister, and relatives. And a girl who's forgiving! Someone willing to put aside differences, admit their own wrongs, and forgive others. That is more attractive to me than anything. 

And actually I love best my two best friends. One of them is even skinnier than me, and shorter. The other a nice husky fella' with a strong farmer's build.  I talk to them more than everyone else in my life combined. 

I would die for either of them, and take care of their family if they died! They're the only people I've had strong disagreements with and not punched out or begrudged! That's true love, and I'm not afraid to say it.  x)


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## Pea (Feb 15, 2015)

My love story has yet to unfold; I'm still waiting on that fairytale romance. This is especially difficult due to past relationships leaving me with terrible trust issues. I guess, quite simply, I'd like someone who I can engage with on an emotional and intellectual level, and that might cherish me as much as I can them.


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## SociallyAwkward (Feb 15, 2015)

Ideal partner, hmm. Me... in a dress, with a slightly bigger bum.:-D


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## squidtender (Feb 15, 2015)

My love story? It's still being written, so I can't tell it just yet. Happy ending? Tragedy? That has yet to be decided as well. 

As long as I have the podium, I have something I've been thinking about this Valentine's weekend. I've been in lots of relationships. Some long, some short, but I've noticed something--the two that had the most meaning and that were the deepest, were the ones that happened when I wasn't looking for it. Love . . . real love . . . doesn't happen on POF or at a singles bar or during speed dating. It happens when you're at the bookstore looking for a new author and you bump into a complete stranger. You lock eyes and they smile. Real love happens on a Tuesday.


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## InstituteMan (Feb 15, 2015)

InstituteWoman was nice enough to walk into my house while we were both at the Institute. I was upstairs when I heard her voice. I recognized her accent and knew she must have grown up not far from the Ozarks, where I had grown up. I also could hear one of my less charming fraternity brothers hitting on her _hard_. I knew I had something to talk to her about, I knew I could out verbal my buddy, and I was single. So I went downstairs, slipped between my brother and the girl he was interested in, and I guess I never really slipped off again. We've been married over 22 years now.


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## shadowwalker (Feb 15, 2015)

I found and lost my Valentine about 40 years ago. I foolishly moved 700 miles away to go to school and he ended up marrying somebody else - who had a remarkable physical resemblance to moi. I still think about him and even though I know I would have made a lousy farmer's wife, can't help but wonder... Now I'm too old and set in my ways - I could never put any poor schmuck through life with me!


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## Carly Berg (Feb 15, 2015)

I met my husband when I ran away from home, thirty-five years ago.


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## MamaStrong (Feb 15, 2015)

Thanks everyone for sharing!

Our Love Story

My husband and I met on Myspace back when it was cool. We had no mutual friends, didn't go to school together, didn't even grow up on the same side of the country. I was living at my dad's in Florida, and he was stationed with the Navy in San Diego. One night, using my step mom's computer I decided to check out the "cool new people" section on Myspace. I can't even tell you what compelled me to seek out his page, or to even send him the first message. Back then nothing was really private so I could read his blogs. He had recently blogged about this girl who apparently cheated on him during deployment. He was crushed, as he was a sensitive heart. 

Having just gotten out of a bad relationship myself, I commented and said I understood how he felt. From there things took off. It was June and we began talking online and by phone. By August of the same year he flew to meet me and my family. By October of the same year we were married. We've been through 3 deployments totaling over a year, have moved from CA to VA, bought a home and have two amazingly beautiful smart children. 

We took a risk and nine years later here we are. I wouldn't change our love story for the world!


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## Optiluiz (Feb 15, 2015)

I met my valentine when I was just 12 and she was 11. I had just moved back to Brazil after 7 years in Canada, and I wasn't enjoying it one single bit. One day her brother shows up on my doorstep (we lived in the same group of apartment buildings), and he tells me that his sister likes me and she's too shy to say so herself. Being the natural romeo that I am, I tell him I'm busy and go back to playing pokemon on my gameboy.

Fast-forward to when I'm 17, I meet up with her during the worst year of my life. Everything was awful, but she was beautiful and made me want to die a little bit less. It didn't work out then, though, but we became friends. The year after that we started to hang out more, and the best moment for me was watching the first Hobbit in theaters and realizing that everything would be alright and I would eventually be dating this girl. By the time I got into college we were dating. Our first night as a couple I remember watching Coraline on dvd and stargazing with her on the balcony.

Years later, we've had some serious ups and downs, but we're still together, and I'm glad. One thing I've learned is that you'll never find someone 'perfect' for you, you'll just find someone that you click with and you'll build 'perfection' and love together.


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## JustRob (Feb 16, 2015)

What's to tell?
We met -- consequentially. 
We drove -- aimlessly. 
We stopped at an inn -- unintentionally. 
We drank -- moderately. 
We talked -- significantly. 
That's all but it was enough -- apparently.
After that single evening we never parted in what has now been well over forty years and we are still talking, so I can't say what comes next except that ... 
Maybe one day we will lie together -- endlessly.


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## aj47 (Feb 16, 2015)

We met at MarCon 25.  That'll be 25 years ago this May.  We've been married 24 of them.

It was my first science fiction convention.  I didn't know what to expect or that going to the panels was optional.  The only interesting panel was the Guest of Honor (Hal Clement) doing children's programming "Cooking and Eating in Space".  So it had started and there was a row of empty chairs with a guy sitting on the aisle.  I asked if they were taken.  He said no.  During the course of the discussion, I heard him utter the phrase, "you have to know these things if you're an engineer..." Turns out he had a bachelor's in rocket science.  I had no car and he was local so had one...I offered to buy him food if he'd drive us to it.  We drove around for awhile and talked and ended up at a Subway just at close.  We got our footlongs to go and then went to my apartment.  I said he could crash on the couch.  And he stayed there.  

Within the week, we were attending computer club meetings together and stuff.   

There's a bunch of stuff I left out--how MarCon was local to me and how my ex-husband said I didn't want to go because there were "weird" people there.  So being separated from him afforded me the freedom to go and be a weird person.   And how on the next night of the con, we watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail in the video room.   And stuff.  It was amazing.  I still write romantic stuff about him because we're still in love.


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## JamesR (Feb 17, 2015)

This will be good. I'm a male and will be 19 in two days, and I'm still single and have always been single. Never been in a relationship, had a girlfriend, kissed, or lost my virginity--partially due to social anxiety disorder, religion, and fear, as well as hang-ups due to my somewhat volatile relationship with my mother.

Closest I've been to a relationship is I dated one girl about 5 times back when I was a sophomore in high-school. Thrice we shopped together at a huge mall and ate at a fancy restaurant, the other two times we did miscellaneous things. Still, things did not go anywhere between us. She only saw me as a great friend, although not necessarily a partner. She moved on, and it took me a very long time to do the same.

I consider myself aromantic, although this may be more due to my emotional and mental health more than anything else. I sometimes wonder if I have sociopathy or mild asperger syndrome. I have a hard time feeling emotion for others, although I still try to be empathetic anyway, and have trouble interacting with people in real life. Can't keep eye contact, I sometimes stutter, I sweat and blush--especially around females, etc. I have literally no desire whatsoever for a relationship or emotional partner. In fact, the thought of marriage and children is somewhat appalling to me. I'm the eldest child in my family and so I know firsthand the difficulty involved in raising kids. And I hope it's not misogynistic, but my relationship with my mother has made me afraid of getting emotionally attached with a woman. Literally the only benefit I see is you know what, but marrying a person solely for that seems selfish, and I don't think it would compensate for all the struggles.

My dream is to be alone forever. I've thought of spending the full 20 years in the Navy after college so I can retire with full benefits and explore the world. I've thought of monasticism as well as cutting my losses and becoming a mountain man. Explaining this though to my family has been difficult. My parents want grandchildren and expect me to get married and all that junk, despite my constant protest.

Who do I love most? Obviously my little sister. But in a romantic sort of way, probably the 15 year old girl I mentioned in another topic, who I unfortunately won't be able to pursue until she's at least 18. What is my ideal mate like? Well, just as emotionally detached as I am, intelligent and quiet, and very observant in her religion which I hope we'll share (I'm Eastern Orthodox). Physically I'd like for her to be blonde and petite. Other than that I'm not too picky.

Favorite love story? _The Terminator_ I have a particular fondness of the departed Russian grand duchess Marie Romanov who was executed by the Bolsheviks. I've read all about her life, spent hours gazing at her pictures, just contemplating and wondering what was going through her mind and what her life was like. It's fascinating how a girl my age from like a century ago could endure such an interesting life--being a princess, witnessing political revolution in your own empire, being executed. We're so different and yet so similar since we're still/were just 18-19 year old kids. The way Kyle Reese travels back in time to protect Sarah Connor, the woman from the past he loved before even meeting her, is beautiful. I wish I could go back and save Marie Romanov from being executed by the Bolsheviks. Oh what I'd give just to tell her I love her.


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## Mondestrunken (Feb 17, 2015)

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because of recent events, so I guess now is a good time to talk about it, eh? He's actually laying next to me right now, wearing headphones and watching a movie.

I met my boyfriend on a forum. I abolished his argument in a friendly debate and he sent me a message. I braced myself for the typical response I would get after an e-smackdown, but was pleasantly surprised when he told me that he liked my opinionated nature and enjoyed my response. He found me on facebook sometime later and we go to chatting. 3 months later we met in person. Neither of us intended to start a relationship, and figured it would be a casual thing, but we both found it impossible to resist something more with one another, and so began a 3 year long distance relationship.

Long distance is hard and is 100% not for everyone. In 3 short years we dealt with a lot of stress, miscommunications, money struggles, family deaths, depression, you name it, and with the added bonus of not getting to see each other for months at a time. Yet, we always found a way through it. We had a lot in our relationship that challenged people's perceptions of us. We're interracial (me = white, him = Asian) we were long distance (me = Denver, him = NYC), and we have a significant age gap (him being older). Yet even those things couldn't simmer us down, and instead just made us more passionate. 

After feeling for so long that we may never get to really BE together, we moved in together a week ago. We're currently setting up our new place and our new lives together and it's really exciting. We celebrate our 4th year anniversary this March


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## JustRob (Feb 17, 2015)

Mondestrunken -- You've touched on a side of things that my brief response didn't, other people, other times. Between ourselves our relationship was idyllic but elsewhere there was a darkness, so dark that we don't mention it, not even to each other, not even decades later. Eventually the darkness went away in the light of our strengthening relationship and all was well. If it truly seems right, right down to the depth of your being without any reservations, then the adversities won't prevail. Unlike you we met almost every day for just six months before we married and finally moved in together to start a new life. It isn't so much the time scale as the fact that one has explored every corner of the building relationship that determines whether it is soundly based for the future. Good fortune for that future.


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## BobtailCon (Feb 17, 2015)

My ideal mate? No one. I'm a hermit who is extreme with solitude. My mate would be my philosophy and prose.


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## JustRob (Feb 17, 2015)

BobtailCon said:


> My ideal mate? No one. I'm a hermit who is extreme with solitude. My mate would be my philosophy and prose.



Fair enough. My wife and I happen to be two hermits living as one. It's cheaper that way apparently. That works too but she doesn't understand all of my philosophy and prose and as for her, hopefully I'll never stop trying to understand her. Even solitude can be an experience to share. I had a good friend at my school who liked his solitude, so we'd go for long walks together and not talk unless one felt like it and the other had no objections. My wife and I once went on a camping holiday in Iceland for two weeks. A friend asked my wife how she could bear with living in a tent with her husband for so long. That woman didn't understand the concept of sharing solitude. A friend of ours once went on holiday with her ex husband because they were so used to each other's company that they could ignore each other without any repercussions. It's a paradoxical concept but it's just a matter of getting to know another hermit by some quirk of fate. I don't know whether there's a Hermits Anonymous anywhere. The Diogenes Club in the Sherlock Holmes stories comes to mind. So yes, love of solitude is perfectly valid here.


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## Ariel (Feb 17, 2015)

My significant other is the member Kilroy.  We met in math class back in his freshman (my sophmore) year of high school.  We have a lot of the same friends from back then and we have been friends for a long time.  He was in a long-term relationship for quite a while and was engaged--they have a daughter together.

I was hanging out with a couple of said friends who had met his daughter (I never had) and we somehow started arguing about how old she was.  I decided to end the argument and sent him a Facebook message.  We ended up chatting for most of the night.  In an attempt to make sure he wasn't in trouble with his significant other I told him I'd let him go.  He said he was single.  I had an "oh really?" moment.

I called him up and asked him to join me for a movie.  We ended up not watching a movie but hanging out for a while.  We've been together ever since.


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## Kevin (Feb 17, 2015)

I could click likes for some of these. I won't... _favoritism. 
_Ideal mate, or love story? Mmm...

Baggage, I love baggage: old-baggage, new baggage, puffy, fluffy, designer, or knockoff. Opposite sex is a must. Sex? I can provide that.... pretty sure. Long walks on the beach, as long she's not being a bit-,
okay, even that's okay... sometimes. We all get cranky. Don't we? 28 years... whew. Come here. Give us a hug then, eh? Here ... try this. Uh ... I cooked it. Recipe? No. Just winged it. S'good? All right then. 

Quickest way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. LOL. Well, it's one way.


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## Kamek (Feb 18, 2015)

Big and stupid. :chargrined:


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## Riptide (Feb 18, 2015)

A mate... huh... Well, I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out when the right guy comes along.


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## Guy Faukes (Feb 19, 2015)

I was alone and vulnerable, she was available. I went to the local liquor store, and there she was: 18 years old, full bodied with a certain Scottish elegance. So, I took her off the shelf, brought her home and haven't stopped doing so for the last five years.


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## KJay (Feb 19, 2015)

I met my now-husband when I went to see a friend, who was doing work experience abroad in England. He was her roommate. I still remember seeing him for the first time so clearly - it really was love at first sight. 

I knew he was the one when we went shopping and I tried on a dress and I asked him whether he liked it and he said my bum looked slightly big in it. 

Long distance for a while, then we decided to travel across the world to get to know each other. After that I moved to England and after being together for 10 years we got married and we now have a little girl. 

The best thing about him is that he can leave me be. Like JustRob, I really value being quietly in the same space without the need to talk all the time. I need that. We are different in many ways, but he is my soulmate.

BTW we have never celebrated Valentine's Day - I really think it's completely unneccessary - you should show each other you love each other every day of your life and you don't need roses or chocolate for that...


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