# A Poem



## Olly Buckle (Sep 3, 2016)

The personal
Transforms the general,
and private slips into translation.
Like a metal into transmutation
to a new and rich universal
touching everyone, yet still impersonal.
An expression of self that is cultural.

It works in a frame,
though never the same,
novelty meets repetition,
and rhyme maintains a tradition.
Experience joins with exertion
where awareness will find its expression 
and paradox find resolution.
.


----------



## Firemajic (Sep 3, 2016)

First 3 lines hooked me, Olly...


----------



## Olly Buckle (Sep 3, 2016)

thank you.


----------



## ned (Sep 3, 2016)

hello - really good idea for a poem, that gets to the point with a nice rhythm and sound rhyming.

but a bit forgettable, because it lacks imagery.

for a bad example - creativity is a supernova, exploding in the mind etc...

this poem is correct, and true, but is far too dry to capture the imagination.
and that is half the point, for me.

mix it up with metaphor that hits the nail (easier said than done)
Ned


----------



## escorial (Sep 3, 2016)

i enjoy a form of symmetry in poetry..especially the use of words at the end of a line..some what fragmented but still each stanza has that symmetry i enjoy..well done


----------



## Olly Buckle (Sep 4, 2016)

Not as symmetrical as it could be in terms of syllable count/line length, and you are right, Ned, rather dry. A bit of metaphor or humour wouldn't come amiss. Sometimes up close you miss these things.


----------



## shedpog329 (Sep 4, 2016)

I saw this as a translation from the personal to the universal.  I hope I'm right.  Good job Olly


----------



## SilverMoon (Sep 5, 2016)

Hi, Olly. Sorry so late. I've been meaning to get to this. A cerebral piece I've read several times but shamefully admit that I cannot wrap my poor mind around the gist of it.

I don't think humour must necessarily be employed because of its serious nature but metaphor might make for more clarity.

"touching everyone, yet still impersonal."

I do like your use of juxtaposition for emphasis here.

"It works in a frame,
 though never the same'

Here's a trace of imagery. And the six syllable beat here is complimentary. 

Wish I could get into that brilliant mind of yours!  Laurie


----------



## Olly Buckle (Sep 5, 2016)

Mostly all the things i seein a poem shepdog, so I suppose you are right, heck yes, it is in the first three lines 

Thank you for the compliment Laurie, as someone stuck in this mind sometimes it doesn't seemsobright in here though


----------



## SilverMoon (Sep 5, 2016)

Oh, Phish! There are plenty light bulbs in that noggin of yours! :idea: :idea: :idea:


----------



## Bard_Daniel (Sep 6, 2016)

I quite enjoyed your first three and last three lines. I'm also quite impressed with the immensity of thought expressed here. Something that can make me wonder and think is a win for me!

Thanks for sharing!


----------

