# To Him: A Thank You letter



## Mackenzie27 (Jan 11, 2015)

Submitted this to thought catalog, they like to post the mushy stuff. Any critique is appreciated!

"I met someone"
It's funny how three words can make you feel so much.
With them came a kaleidoscope of emotion sliding back and forth along the spectrum of right and wrong. 
I've known they were coming ever since we found out we were so perfectly, exquisitely wrong for each other.
They were an imminent threat in the distance, creeping into my life like fog. 
Cruel and searching, they were a heartbreaking promise that was made to be kept. I couldn't shake the image of your lips shaping against another's the way they once shaped to mine. 
Three words that made sure I spent the last year with your face tattooed to my brain, the possibility haunting me. 
I was afraid to forget, afraid to move on, afraid to let my hypothetical version of you explore a life without me. 
The heart is a funny thing, it doesn't like logic. 
They are two trembling positives struggling to coexist in a perfectly balanced world made up of black and white. In this world the heart is an impenetrable shade of grey, refusing to bend to the expectation appointed by all rational thought. 
I knew all of this, not that the knowledge of it did me any good. 
I fell fast and hard, the residue left over from the wreckage of my feelings for you was a sticky mixture of pride and shame. 
You taught me how to trust. 
You were the half full to my half empty.
Then all of a sudden you weren't.
As seamless a transition as snow melting into rain, your words changed from their candied sweetness into searing knives. Blades of fire with the sole intention to burn, and as we made our way from passionate newness to tragic ending, I could smell the burning flesh, so often mistaking it for the sweet incense of commitment.
Your jealousy was validation and our arguments were simply the climb leading up to the free-fall of exciting realization. 
Realize I love you. 
Realize I hate you. 
Realize we deserve more than what we can give to this thing we call a relationship.
I always thought the three words that would change our acidic dynamic would be the obvious:
"I love you" 
They would balance out the stinging bite of two people so inherently wrong for each other. 
But no, we surpassed those three words without even a second glance, stuck in cruise control, only looking in the rear-view to point out each other's mistakes. 

But it wasn’t all bad, with the sting of your honesty came a new realization; those 3 words forced me to see through an entirely new viewpoint: One that wasn’t obstructed or fully eclipsed by your face in my minds-eye: My own.
And because of those three words, the muddled picture my heart refused to focus on could now be seen with sparkling clarity.
With those words, your shadow became emotional dust kicked up from the wheels of my past, leaving me free to focus on the true landmarks in my life.
I pause, documenting this moment, branding it into my memory; it's not one I can let myself forget. 
This was a shift in gear that marked my resiliency; my ability to heal.
Those three words. 
They broke me.
They renewed me.
They reminded me of every spectacular reason we ended. 
Most importantly they traced the curvature of our wrongness, they outlined everything I refused to see, and, with a gentle push, they gave me permission to let you go.


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## Plasticweld (Jan 11, 2015)

Two thoughts come to mind, it seems to drag a little, the pace is slow. 

The other thought would be, consider using the three words a bunch of times through out the piece as a way of ringing home the pain and frustration.  

To start some of your paragraphs with "I meet someone." or end it with it, could be a way of breaking up the difference between the good feelings you had and then the negative one.   You use the " I hate you." "I love you." in just one place, that could also  be used more.


I am some how reminded of the song by Nickleback " I figured you out"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBBs4vQxfOM


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## Mackenzie27 (Jan 12, 2015)

Thanks!


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## Ariel (Jan 15, 2015)

There's a place where you start a list and the immediate word following the colon is capitalized.  It shouldn't be.

This reminds me of my ex.  Instead of "I met someone" it was "I don't love you."  I like how this is capturing the growth from this relationship.


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## janedoe555 (Feb 8, 2015)

Very interesting piece, the beginning really captivated me and drew me in. Well done.

The part that starts with, "But it wasn't all bad…" left me a little bit confused and lost. I would try simplifying that section and using some more powerful and concise language to hold the emotional flow of the piece.


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## juggled (Feb 9, 2015)

At first it was easy to read, then about half way I found myself not as interested, like it didn't make sense. But I am no writer, just a snowboarder.


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