# [pressure]



## Smith (Jan 11, 2016)

it's out of control
tomorrow makes my future
don't want to wake up


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## inkwellness (Jan 11, 2016)

The tone and disjointed flow give me an out of control feeling. Anxiety is the word I would use to sum this up. Nice work.


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## Smith (Jan 11, 2016)

inkwellness said:


> The tone and disjointed flow give me an out of control feeling. Anxiety is the word I would use to sum this up. Nice work.



Yep, good ol' anxiety. And I thought depression was a bitch. Thanks for reading!


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## Firemajic (Jan 11, 2016)

Smith said:


> it's out of control
> 'morrow decides my future
> don't want to wake up



I have a tiny problem with the word " 'morrow"... anyway, I like this.. sounds like an inner dialog, you know.. the "loop".. like a hamster running endlessly on it's wheel.. spinning, getting nowhere, the feeling of having no control is expressed very well... Thanks for sharing..


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## Smith (Jan 11, 2016)

Firemajic said:


> I have a tiny problem with the word " 'morrow"... anyway, I like this.. sounds like an inner dialog, you know.. the "loop".. like a hamster running endlessly on it's wheel.. spinning, getting nowhere, the feeling of having no control is expressed very well... Thanks for sharing..



Yeah, that was for syllable purposes. Shakespeare comes in handy for that sort of thing. 

The other option for that line was "tomorrow makes my future", which I might actually change it to. Going to think it over some more.

Glad you liked it and understood what it was about!

Your hamster idea got me thinking... Right now I feel like a great white shark in a swimming pool.

EDIT: Line 2 changed.


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## Dalton (Jan 11, 2016)

Too relatable, great job man.


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## PrinzeCharming (Jan 12, 2016)

Smith said:


> it's out of control



As I begin to read this, I am placed in a dynamic setting. It sets off a spark of challenge and uncertainty. This lures me to the next line to see what happens next.



Smith said:


> tomorrow makes my future



 The next line sets a theme of time and space. Now, I see that under limited time restraints, the future is literally around the corner.



Smith said:


> don't want to wake up



The final line sets the tone for the title. Pressure. There's so much going on - mentally, physically, emotionally - that you don't want to deal with it. The fascinating part about pondering the idea for _one to wake up _sets the questioning between dreaming and death. Do we simply cry for an escape (captivated and protected through dreams) from reality? Do we, in fact, lack the desire to wake up and do something about the situation? I can feel the pressure. I can feel the emotions. Chaos. I can just imagine myself in a room full of clocks or hourglasses. Perhaps, we (as society) are trapped in a large hourglass? We suffocate from the falling sand above our heads. We try so hard to deal with the sand beneath our feet. The surrounding sand is enough. Make it stop! Trapped. Do we just stand still? Is it okay if we let the sand fall without moving an inch? Will it be over soon? See. You had me so caught up in thought. Thank you for that.


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## escorial (Jan 12, 2016)

poetry is a great release man..a few lines filled with emotion and truth..now that's poetry for me....cool


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## thewritepursuit (Jan 12, 2016)

I love haiku and this one really spoke to me. I think it's something anyone can easily relate to, yet creates a personal kind of intrigue and connection with the author/speaker. A whole kind of "Don't I know it...so what are YOU going through?" interest that speaks to you when you're done reading. A lot of emotion captured in a short period of time, very nicely done in my opinion. Cheers


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## Smith (Jan 14, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> As I begin to read this, I am placed in a dynamic setting. It sets off a spark of challenge and uncertainty. This lures me to the next line to see what happens next.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



It's so amazing to see somebody go this far with a piece that I've written! Sometimes so much is to be said from so few words.

You know, that's how I see dreaming. Or it can also be a way to sort through something in your life using your subconscious. Dreaming a fox might indicate that you need to approach a problem from a new angle, or maybe somebody in your life is tricking you, for example.

It's amazing stuff really. Just blows reality out of the water. That's why dreams mean so much to me. And I don't mean just the sleeping kind, but when humans have the courage to dream of a better world.

Anyway, yeah, school really stresses me out. Sometimes I don't want to wake up (could be literal, or maybe just figurative for not having the strength to face my problems).

And the fact there's so much to do in life, and so little time. It's all about how you spend those grains of sand. Thanks for reading man!



escorial said:


> poetry is a great release man..a few lines filled with emotion and truth..now that's poetry for me....cool



Thanks esc, it is indeed very cathartic. Hopefully that extends to the reader. 



thewritepursuit said:


> I love haiku and this one really spoke to me. I think it's something anyone can easily relate to, yet creates a personal kind of intrigue and connection with the author/speaker. A whole kind of "Don't I know it...so what are YOU going through?" interest that speaks to you when you're done reading. A lot of emotion captured in a short period of time, very nicely done in my opinion. Cheers



It's become one of my favorite forms. I'm still working on a way I could make it even more my own.

That's the cool thing! It makes you read between the lines. There's this underlying truth.

Much appreciated, take care.


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## PrinzeCharming (Jan 14, 2016)

Smith said:


> It's so amazing to see somebody go this far with a piece that I've written! Sometimes so much is to be said from so few words.
> 
> You know, that's how I see dreaming. Or it can also be a way to sort through something in your life using your subconscious. Dreaming a fox might indicate that you need to approach a problem from a new angle, or maybe somebody in your life is tricking you, for example.



Yes, always know there's more to a piece than imagined. Not everything is left for the eye, but the soul. My feelings exactly! I have a "Dream Dictionary" .. I am not sure where it is, somewhere in my room, but I always write my dreams down if I can recall them the following morning. I love interpreting them. It's fascinating to witness how much I remember a dream if I write it down.


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## Smith (Jan 17, 2016)

PrinzeCharming said:


> Yes, always know there's more to a piece than imagined. Not everything is left for the eye, but the soul. My feelings exactly! I have a "Dream Dictionary" .. I am not sure where it is, somewhere in my room, but I always write my dreams down if I can recall them the following morning. I love interpreting them. It's fascinating to witness how much I remember a dream if I write it down.



Dreams have to be one of the greatest, most utilized human gifts.

Maybe you could blog about some of your dreams!


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