# Broken Glass



## cassie30 (May 17, 2015)

Broken glass in a million just like a broken heart. Unlike a broken heart broken glass cannot be mended or healed. Over time the broken heart will heal, but if you try to “heal” broken glass you will get a cut. A million pieces is hard to put back together. A love a fair that breaks apart can feel like broken glass.


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## escorial (May 17, 2015)

read like a first draft that may need a bit of work....


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## cassie30 (May 17, 2015)

What would you suggest


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## escorial (May 17, 2015)

i was thinking more about the structure than the words....the word broken felt pivotal to the piece and it feels like it needs to be more prominent


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## Kevin (May 17, 2015)

affair--


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## Sonata (May 17, 2015)

cassie30 said:


> What would you suggest



I would suggest putting each sentence on a separate line and then see how you think you could improve it.



> Broken glass in a million* just like a broken heart.
> Unlike a broken  heart broken glass cannot be mended or healed.
> Over time the broken  heart will heal, but if you try to “heal”** broken glass you will get a  cut.
> A million pieces is*** hard to put back together.
> A love a fair** that  breaks apart can feel like broken glass.



*a million what?  A million pieces pieces would read better.

**why the quotation marks?

***are, not is

****affair, not 'a fair'.

Have another go at it.


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## Firemajic (May 23, 2015)

Cassie... This feels like a statement , not a poem. You have all of the components for a poem here. Message, imagery, mood and emotion...Now the real work begins... As an artist you have your tools. You have your canvass , paints and brushes.. Now, paint me a beautiful picture....Take each line, it does not have to rhyme .. but it does need to flow.. as smooth as squeezing paint from a tube on to your palette... Hope this helps... Everything  is there Cassie-- Start painting... Peace always.. jul


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