# enterprise



## Kevin (Jul 13, 2017)

Running cattle is a ballsy enterprise. 
It takes a lot of work, and one ice storm could wipe you out.

There have been many wipeouts. 
Take the Indians, for instance.
They had to go.

Running cattle is like a lot of things: hard work; 
and one big storm can wipe you out.
The important thing is to keep going.
And doing whatever it takes. 
There are mouths to feed, children to clothe.
And there is the next guy, or guys.
You never know.

It's always best to try to nip things in the bud,
and if you can't,
 then you just have to take care of it anyway. 
For the cattle.

Someday you'll probably sell it: the ranch.
 And cattle will not always run the range. 
Someday,
maybe in your grandchildrens' time.


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## Darkkin (Jul 13, 2017)

Reads like prose.  Functional, basic prose.  Sorry, but there really isn't any hint of anything poetic or emotive about this.  Yes, it is divided into stanzas, but contentwise, this is hollow.  Not heart.  Merely an assumption.  From a reader's standpoint the piece fells like a shrug.  A writer going 'meh, whatever...'  It really isn't something that speaks to and engages the reader.


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## Kevin (Jul 13, 2017)

Darkkin said:


> Reads like prose.  Functional, basic prose.  Sorry, but there really isn't any hint of anything poetic or emotive about this.  Yes, it is divided into stanzas, but contentwise, this is hollow.  Not heart.  Merely an assumption.  From a reader's standpoint the piece fells like a shrug.  A writer going 'meh, whatever...'  It really isn't something that speaks to and engages the reader.


It's allegory. Hollow...Not sure what you mean by an assumption. I _was_ going for that middle of the the country matter-of-fact voice. Ye-up. Rural I guess you might call it. And the attitude...'Rancher', in the businessman sense.


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## Darkkin (Jul 13, 2017)

Kevin said:


> It's allegory. Hollow...Not sure what you mean by an assumption. I _was_ going for that middle of the the country matter-of-fact voice. Ye-up. Rural I guess you might call it. And the attitude...'Rancher', in the businessman sense.



The assumption that a rancher will sellout.  For some it is a passion, a tradition handed down.  The same can be said for many family dynasties, everything from farming to real estate.  And a lot of folks, if they have an apathy for their expected future often find a different path in life...Ranching and farming are a huge dedication of time, work, and luck...And for a number of those keep at it; an inherent passion for the land and what it can produce.

Just like with any sort of lifestyle, some love it, others hate it.  Those who are indifferent often seek change or escape early in life...But to dedicate that much time and effort to a lifetime of indifference, it isn't something most people would generally do.  Sometimes circumstance dictate otherwise, but most people, if they get a chance to change their circumstances early in life, they take it.

I grew up a rural 4-Her, listening to fellow members...Indifference was not a common emotion, with most we either loved what our families did or hated it.  With the majority, it was an inherent passion passed from parent to child.  From a reader's standpoint, I've seen more of the polar reactions (love/hate) to country living as opposed to continuous, maintained indifference.

Ranching carries with it an inherent need for grit...which is at odds with the tone of the piece.  Flaw of a reader:  The circumstances of the individual.


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## ned (Jul 13, 2017)

hello - the snag for me, is that it is all 'telling' - the men work hard etc
 - with no description to engage the reader.

together with unremarkable contemplation of storms, feeding the kids and selling up.

I would love it if you put the reader in the saddle- show us the work, the cowboys, the cattle.
give us the imagery - the plains, the rivers, the starry nights.

for me, that would be far more interesting..............Ned


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## Kevin (Jul 14, 2017)

ned said:


> hello - the snag for me, is that it is all 'telling' - the men work hard etc
> - with no description to engage the reader.
> 
> together with unremarkable contemplation of storms, feeding the kids and selling up.
> ...


 while I might have loved to paint you romantic pictures about being home on the range, that is not what inspired. Real ranching, running cattle or whatever, is about land usage for the purposes of making a profit. 

Darkin- There are real ranches where I live. They have all evolved into land-development entities. Still have 'ranch' in their names though, and a history of running cattle at some time or other. If  the opportunity ever arrives, you'll see how important those land values actually become. My contention is that is the nature of things. 'Grit'... Isn't that like working hard, facing adversity, doing whatever it takes? And my mention of wipe outs and Indians... nothing? 
Anyway, I thought the subject ideas applied to many endeavors, not just ranching per se. While the piece does not have any flowery anything, I thought theme was enough to possibly evoke.


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## midnightpoet (Jul 14, 2017)

I'm well aware of the problems ranchers face, several locally here have turned to "high-fence" ranching, basically breeding foreign antelope for trophy hunts - but I didn't get that from the first read.   The critiques here so far I believe concentrated on the lack of imagery and flow that usually come with poetry.  I do understand the message, but it did not come through here.  Lack of passion maybe, not sure.  On rewrites, think of a local rancher you knew, concentrate on his struggles - in other words, focus on the particular.  A story of war in more interesting if you concentrate on a singular person's struggles as he/she tries to cope with horrific circumstances.  Keep writing, hope this helps.


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## Darkkin (Jul 14, 2017)

It is the difference between ordering ham and getting spam (potted ham)...Emotion and empathy don't need flowery, but they do need to be tangible.  

e.g.  Hail:  Purchase of a little boy's boots on hold, 
         holes and soles lined in a Wonderbread shell.

Consider the economies, real details, such as hand-me-downs and things of this nature.  Instead of talking at the reader bring them in.  Dolly's _Coat of Many Colors_ does a marvelous job of illustrating show vs. tell.


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## Kevin (Jul 14, 2017)

Darkkin said:


> It is the difference between ordering ham and getting spam...Emotion and empathy don't need flowery, but they do need to be tangible.
> 
> e.g.  Hail:  Purchase of a little boy's boots on hold,
> holes and soles lined in a Wonderbread shell.
> ...


again that's a different poem about a possible side tangent. I mean, could you imagine a rancher/businessman talking about little boys boots? Only as a manipulation or a politician. I lived in central Nebraska. Land was only a means to an end. I remember that dogs, in particular,  were very low on the totem pole, not being a commodity;  just above varments and vermin. Perhaps there was passion about family. I never saw it. Maybe I did. Anyway, I was out of place there with many of my notions, and I learned a few things while I was there. 

I was trying go broader into a way of thinking, logic, sequence, repercussion; consequence and hopefully, reaction to them. Certainly, it wasn't meant to be pretty, which is a way to grab people. I was going for blunt. Even with my tell it was enough; didn't work. Okay. An attempt  Thank you. I appreciate your efforts.


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## sas (Jul 14, 2017)

Kevin,  

I thought there was a poem there. I just felt it needed whittling out. I hate flowery poems. Never write 'em. Not necessary either. Anyway, I try not to re-write another's work, but have adjusted your words, keeping it almost yours. Hope you don't mind. Maybe helpful (maybe not even good):

Running cattle is a ballsy enterprise.
One ice storm can wipe you out
like the Indians, for instance.
They had to go

but you keep going
in the same place, in the same way, every day,
to feed mouths, to clothe, to someday sell it.  
For the cattle. For your grandchildren. For a road.

(Note: I did not use the word "ranch" in poem. I would use it in the title. I never like the title to have important word that is used within the body of the poem)

.


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## -xXx- (Jul 17, 2017)

_because it's always been that way.
because that just what we do._

this is a slam piece waiting to happen, imho.
aloud.
with stops.
i would use a large tear away behind the speaker.
i would show a piece of land (circa 1850)
transform (possibly per line)
thru generations
to the wifi coffeeshop of today.
jussayin'


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## -xXx- (Jul 18, 2017)

so, hey...
is lawzanjelleez big into ranching.
bovines.
quatrapeds.
?
pls.n.thx


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## Kevin (Jul 18, 2017)

-xXx- said:


> so, hey...
> is lawzanjelleez big into ranching.
> bovines.
> quatrapeds.
> ...


at one time... It was Rancho this, Rancho that... The vaqueros used to lasso grizzly right in the valley ( San Fernando) When I got here Porter ranch was all tract homes; The Newhall,  and the Irvine ranches were still open land. There's a McGrath Farm along the coast, the last coast not to have gone. They sold a lot of it off and there are three cities going up right in their borders. They still actually grow things there. I've been: they rent part of it to paint ball. 

Inland it was cattle, often ontop of oil. Come to think of it there's oil there on the coast ( those mountains extend under the sea). J. Paul Getty oil under-lapped W.W.Orcutt ranch. Anything the land produced. I used to mountain bike there dodging oil trucks  ( diesel for the pumps) until the Orcutt foreman kicked me off saying his Bulls would gore me. Kinda spooked me as I'd always just ignored them, before. There were commercial orchards; a lot of citrus; we were the egg producing capital of the world. Irvine... You might recognize the name if you watch pbs, they're huge donors, and the city of Irvine sits on just part of what they owned, originally as a Spanish land grant, billionaire family now, have been for quite a while, development.


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## Firemajic (Jul 18, 2017)

Kevin said:


> at one time... It was Rancho this, Rancho that... The vaqueros used to lasso grizzly right in the valley ( San Fernando) When I got here Porter ranch was all tract homes; The Newhall,  and the Irvine ranches were still open land. There's a McGrath Farm along the coast, the last coast not to have gone. They sold a lot of it off and there are three cities going up right in their borders. They still actually grow things there. I've been: they rent part of it to paint ball.
> 
> Inland it was cattle, often ontop of oil. Come to think of it there's oil there on the coast ( those mountains extend under the sea). J. Paul Getty oil under-lapped W.W.Orcutt ranch. Anything the land produced. I used to mountain bike there dodging oil trucks  ( diesel for the pumps) until the Orcutt foreman kicked me off saying his Bulls would gore me. Kinda spooked me as I'd always just ignored them, before. There were commercial orchards; a lot of citrus; we were the egg producing capital of the world. Irvine... You might recognize the name if you watch pbs, they're huge donors, and the city of Irvine sits on just part of what they owned, originally as a Spanish land grant, billionaire family now, have been for quite a while, development.





Kevin. here are the bones for a poem... this... this post has it alllllll... what I think everyone was feeling about your intriguing poem, was a huge disconnect....if felt like the writer was not connected to the poem, like it really did not matter... does not mean it was not good writing, just emotionless... however, the above post? OOooo fabulous imagery, and wonderful message... loveIT... take your poem from these lines!


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## -xXx- (Jul 18, 2017)

this elaboration
confirms my suspicion:
you can do a tear away.
pretty easily.
teh awesome!
maybe a video version?

_*listens all care-full-like*_


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## LeeC (Apr 5, 2018)

Ah yes, long live the dogma of poetic expression. Never mind grasping the subtle grist of the piece — focus on more eloquently expressing the chaff so as to better obscure what we don't care to contemplate, not that we even recognize we're doing so. 

To me this piece expresses our ongoing struggle with the natural world in trying to change Nature to what we believe better meets our perceived needs. And, in expressing such from our horse-blinkered perspective cleverly exposes a naïveté common to all life forms. All life forms alter their habitat to degrees, and when any life form does so to the extent of seriously disrupting the ecological balance of the biosphere, Nature's change agents, extinction and evolution, kick into high gear. It's as simple a natural process as the Great Oxygenation Event which triggered the first great extinction. 

Love the concluding "maybe in your grandchildrens' time." Poetry at it's best (most meaningful) to me.

So, all in all, I'd say this piece exemplifies superior insight with a poetic approach.

Well done Kevin, thank you.


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