# Guardian angels....



## dither (Jul 9, 2018)

Ghosts of peoples passed away. Our very own private and personal " someone looking out for and watching over us" .

Mmmmmmm.... Can't won't don't want to buy into that stuff but how about this:

The catch on our front gate is coming loose.It's old and creaky just like it's owner and for a while now a screw has been working it's way out. At first I'd planned to buy some screws, screws that I would never use, just to get one. Then I thought "nah, I'll  push a matchstick down the hole and replace the old screw in a tighter hole." It seemed like a plan.

Come Saturday I went to do my shopping and as I walked to my bus-stop coming home something shiny on the path caught my eye, a brand new phillips screw. I even bent down and picked it up, had it my hand, it was exactly what I'd been planning to buy but no, I already had a plan, wouldn't be needing it now and so I chucked it down onto the path and walked to catch my bus. Before I reached the bus stop I was wishing I'd put that screw in my pocket, even considered going back to look for it but what the hell? I had a bus to catch.

I have since put that old screw back into the gate with a bit of packing but it's coming loose again and so to today.

I've been out shopping again and as I got off my bus and started to walk home would you ephing believe it? Lying on the ground as I walked up the High Street, a shiny new phillips screw, exactly the same as the other one. This time I put it in my pocket.

Two identical screws some six miles apart in different towns.

How weird is _that?_

Is someone trying to tell me something?


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## ppsage (Jul 9, 2018)

Ya needta put a bit of glue on the matchstick.


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## dither (Jul 10, 2018)

ppsage said:


> Ya needta put a bit of glue on the matchstick.




Okay.

Thanks.


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## dither (Jul 10, 2018)

Isn't there a glue that actually sticks metal and wood? Will have a look at that when I'm off work next week.


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## TuesdayEve (Jul 10, 2018)

Yes dither.


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## bazz cargo (Aug 5, 2018)

Now if you find a tube of glue...


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## dither (Aug 5, 2018)

bazz cargo said:


> Now if you find a tube of glue...



Don't empty the contents into a crisp-packet and inhale.

Yeah, I know.:roll:

Actually ppsage,
the match-stick seems to be holding without the glue.


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## bazz cargo (Aug 7, 2018)

Coincidentally, I have found a screw as well. Is this some kind of alien invasion in disguise?


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## BlondeAverageReader (Aug 8, 2018)

bazz cargo said:


> Coincidentally, I have found a screw as well. Is this some kind of alien invasion in disguise?


No, just the fallout from people with a screw loose being free to roam the streets.


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## Olly Buckle (Aug 8, 2018)

I have a fair collection of found screws, carpenters must chuck them about like confetti. I also see a lot of bolts and nuts, but never in pairs and never the same size, they stay on the pavement, not useful. I once found a tenner, but only once in a lifetime.


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## bazz cargo (Aug 8, 2018)

BlondeAverageReader said:


> No, just the fallout from people with a screw loose being free to roam the streets.


Was this a Trump Joke?


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## BlondeAverageReader (Aug 9, 2018)

bazz cargo said:


> Was this a Trump Joke?


No, we were talking the odd screw, not a whole boxful.


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## JustRob (Aug 9, 2018)

dither said:


> I've been out shopping again and as I got off my bus and started to walk home would you ephing believe it? Lying on the ground as I walked up the High Street, a shiny new phillips screw, exactly the same as the other one. This time I put it in my pocket.
> 
> Two identical screws some six miles apart in different towns.
> 
> ...



Yes, that your buses are shaking apart.

*Baz*, what are you doing making approaches to my angel! That's it then - it's all off between us!


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## bazz cargo (Aug 11, 2018)

JustRob said:


> Yes, that your buses are shaking apart.
> 
> *Baz*, what are you doing making approaches to my angel! That's it then - it's all off between us!


Hmmm... Do you mean between you and me or between you and your Angel? I only ask cos if the lady is free... I don't get called 'an old floozy for nothing, I have to pay them.


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## BlondeAverageReader (Aug 11, 2018)

bazz cargo said:


> Hmmm... Do you mean between you and me or between you and your Angel? I only ask cos if the lady is free... I don't get called 'an old floozy for nothing, I have to pay them.


I’m starting to worry about the men? in the wilds of Wiltshire. Not a suitable home for an angel.


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## bazz cargo (Aug 12, 2018)

We need all the angels we can get. The Wiltshire Rescue Home for Fallen Men. Besides


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## dither (Aug 12, 2018)

bazz cargo said:


> We need all the angels we can get. The Wiltshire Rescue Home for Fallen Men. Besides




Lol! Tell me about it.


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## BlondeAverageReader (Aug 12, 2018)

bazz cargo said:


> We need all the angels we can get. The Wiltshire Rescue Home for Fallen Men. Besides



Fallen men? it must be all that cider you produce down the West Country.
I’ve changed my mind, setting angel sat-nav, get the cider in bazz.


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## dither (Aug 12, 2018)

Cider? Did you say Cider?
Well at least I'm doing _something _right.:drunk:


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## JustRob (Aug 12, 2018)

bazz cargo said:


> We need all the angels we can get. The Wiltshire Rescue Home for Fallen Men. Besides





BlondeAverageReader said:


> Fallen men? it must be all that cider you produce down the West Country.
> I’ve changed my mind, setting angel sat-nav, get the cider in bazz.


Ah, Wilts by name, wilts by nature then. I have to be careful with my remarks though as my angel is fully aware of the effect that wine had on me last night.

Bazz, don't expect her any time soon. Although she was the one who insisted that we buy a sat-nav I don't recollect her ever programming it. Why should she when she has an experienced programmer always ready to do her bidding? (Well almost always.)


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## Kevin (Aug 12, 2018)

(what are they talking about?-)
(I have no idea, but I think one of them ...drank some cider and maybe fell down)
('cider'?)
( ...booze)
(oh)


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## BlondeAverageReader (Aug 12, 2018)

JustRob said:


> Ah, Wilts by name, wilts by nature then. I have to be careful with my remarks though as my angel is fully aware of the effect that wine had on me last night.
> 
> Bazz, don't expect her any time soon. Although she was the one who insisted that we buy a sat-nav I don't recollect her ever programming it. Why should she when she has an experienced programmer always ready to do her bidding? (Well almost always.)



Yes darling, if l remember rightly l couldn’t hear the TV above the snoring, steak and red wine a killer combination.
As for being an experienced programmer, well! the things you call that sat-nav while trying to set it are more Anglo Saxon than one would expect from a professional.
Won’t be long bazz, just need directions from the A303 (a road we know well) keep it cold!


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## Olly Buckle (Aug 12, 2018)

BlondeAverageReader said:


> Yes darling, if l remember rightly l couldn’t hear the TV above the snoring, steak and red wine a killer combination.
> As for being an experienced programmer, well! the things you call that sat-nav while trying to set it are more Anglo Saxon than one would expect from a professional.
> Won’t be long bazz, just need directions from the A303 (a road we know well) keep it cold!



I'm surprised at you associating with these alkies. Not that I am teetotal, I like a glass of wine with my dinner on a Sunday, one glass, but asleep and snoring!! And that Bazz drinks beer, not in pubs, in the house, I've seen him admit to it somewhere, I think, probably, infra dig enough to anyway.


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## bazz cargo (Aug 12, 2018)

On a hot day a well chilled cider is a treat. 


@BAR. Just google beyond the back of beyond. You can have an ice cold cider and a foot rub. 
@JR. Just google beyond the back of beyond. You can have an ice cold cider and a kip in front of the tele.
@Olly. Just google beyond the back of beyond. You can have an ice cold cider and a kip in garden recliner.


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## JustRob (Aug 13, 2018)

Actually when not on the grape juice I prefer a golden ale to apple juice. While staying near Dingle in Ireland recently I discovered and enjoyed their local brew, Crean's. That was after programming the sat-nav and delegating the driving to my angel of course. She did a great job of avoiding those rock outcrops on the busy narrow Slea head road in our hired car. Apparently there is a convention about which way one drives along it even though it isn't actually a one-way road and we were going in the opposite direction to most of the traffic. Typical of the Irish to have a road that is one way only by word of mouth.


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## Olly Buckle (Aug 13, 2018)

I think it was on the Dingle peninsular that we met a series of downhill bends, it said 'SLOW' in the road at each one until we came to the last that said 'SLOWER'. How did they know?


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## BlondeAverageReader (Aug 13, 2018)

Olly Buckle said:


> I think it was on the Dingle peninsular that we met a series of downhill bends, it said 'SLOW' in the road at each one until we came to the last that said 'SLOWER'. How did they know?


After some of the ‘hairy’ bendy roads l had the dubious pleasure of driving it struck me why the locals take religion so seriously.


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## JustRob (Aug 13, 2018)

Olly Buckle said:


> I think it was on the Dingle peninsular that we met a series of downhill bends, it said 'SLOW' in the road at each one until we came to the last that said 'SLOWER'. How did they know?



I didn't understand their practice of writing the word "SLOW" lengthwise along the road but with the letters in order as you came to them, i.e. "S", "L", "O", "W". This meant that on approaching the word it read, downwards as one would normally read vertical text, "WOLS". I adjusted to this peculiarity by accepting that "WOLS" was the Celtic word for "SLOW". 

Apart from when rocky terrain got in the way we found the Irish roads to be well laid out and a pleasure to drive on, but then in the homeland of a nation of traditional road-builders one would expect them to be. However, in the spirit of adventure we also drove over the Healy Pass, (https://www.dangerousroads.org/europe/ireland/4289-healy-pass.html) which was commissioned as an upgrade of a trackway by the politician Time Michael Healy in 1847 to provide employment during the famine years. The desolate scenery there was beautiful and there was virtually no traffic.

P.S.
My angel tells me that on that occasion I was driving although I don't remember, so it couldn't have been that tricky a road to drive.


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