# Shut (1 Viewer)



## Nemesis (Jul 11, 2012)

I wrote this a long, long time ago. It was actually the first song I'd ever written.

I'm talking to the shadows
Holding on, don't let me go
Forgetting all that matters
Erasing all I know

"Take everything inside
Unravel me so I can't hide
Take everything inside
And complete me"

Longing for my freedom
I pull free from this disease
Entering a hollow kingdom
This pain will never cease

"Take everything inside
Unravel me so I can't hide
Take everything inside
And complete me"

Don't go.....

Lies
Lies 
Lies 
Lies

"Take everything inside
Unravel me so I can't hide
Take everything inside
And complete me"

I run, 
I hide,
I'm shut,
Inside........


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## Nemesis (Jul 27, 2012)

The normal apologies for crappy vocals:

http://www.writingforums.com/music/132426-shut-vocals.html#post1553298


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## Xathrid (Aug 10, 2012)

Bravo! This is very good. 
And if I do say so myself, your vocals aren't crappy, they're quite good. I love how they create an atmosphere even without music.


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## Potty (Aug 10, 2012)

Faster! More fury! More attitude! boomboomboom!


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## Nemesis (Aug 11, 2012)

Thank you, and Potty dear, are you drunk posting again lol?


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## miller.4314 (Aug 24, 2012)

Haha I'm going to agree with the tipsy one. Your chorus is beautiful.(very nice vocals by the way) The way you transition from a high ending on "everything" into a low beginning on "inside" really adds to the mood of the lyrics. If you were able to speed up the verses-throw them in 5th gear and GO!- leading into the chorus which immediately switches to 1st gear, that would have an amazing effect. Very nice.


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## Nemesis (Aug 24, 2012)

Thank you for saying nice things about my vocal. Perhaps I should look into redoing them, speeding up the versus you said?


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## Nemesis (Aug 24, 2012)

It actualy gives me an idea, I'll try it tonight. Maybe do the verses in a breathy whisper.... the responses I'm getting are making me want to reveal the meoldy to all of my music. I feel like it changes the way you look at the lyrics


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## miller.4314 (Aug 24, 2012)

I believe it all depends on what effect you would like your chorus to have. In the vocals you posted, there is no real separation from your verses to your chorus until you reach the repetition of the chorus. Your chorus holds the hook, which is by definition the main catch phrase of every lyrical piece. You want that hook to POP!! By going from fast verse to slow chorus, you're allowing the chorus(hook) to stand out from the rest of the song. But I would like to hear your idea as well.


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## Nemesis (Sep 14, 2012)

I recorded the verses soft and breathy, but quick (upped the tempo like you suggested) I don't know if it sounds better, BUT it was catchier in my head so maybe it worked. Have to find it to post for y'all.


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