# Homesick



## notsocordial (Jun 11, 2019)

Like Heraclitus put it, "Change is the only constant thing in this world". Really, who even likes change unless it is leading to something better. Even then, a certain depressive episode follows when you are going away from a certain place or thing. A nostalgic wave of memories and ache crosses right across your body. There is an ache but you don't know where it came from because it is on the inside. It is worsened when the memories associated with it are good and dear to you. Your gut tightens and you feel like you can not breathe. The oxygen seems too less like the memories are sucking the air out of you.  The affliction is real. Especially, when that place is home and you are homesick.


When I left home for college, I did not have any of those feelings though. I was pretty much calm and composed maybe because I knew my home was just 5 hours away by road. Also, luckily, the very first day of my stay there, I met this amazing person who I did not know was going to be like family to me in a strange place. We remained roommates for all the four years that we were there. I was lucky, yes. I was spoilt, too. She took care of all my needs and quirks and I hope I did, too. So, I never felt the absence of my home. I missed them but not enough to feel homesick.


The reality struck when home was not five hours away and my roommate was not my roommate anymore. We went in different ways. Though we kept in touch and the connection was there, it was not the same anymore. It was not her voice I woke up to. I missed my mother dearly. I realized only she would give up whatever it is she was doing when I needed her. Every now and then my heart panged. Somedays, I desperately wanted to go back home and just stay there. I did not understand why I felt so lonely and scared. So aimless.


In the midst of all this chaos, I have realized one thing. The minute you start acknowledging the pain, that you're hurt, it suddenly feels bearable. It doesn't fade, it doesn't go away but you gain the strength to bear it, get through with. If you keep ignoring the mess, avoiding the torment, putting up a brave face, it grows on you. The agony and soreness take a bigger form. Until you cannot understand it anymore. To get through with something, you have to understand and acknowledge its existence.


Putting up a brave face in the adversities has been misunderstood in so many ways. It doesn't mean to avoid its being and carry on with your life, it means to not run away from it, not look for escapades. Being homesick is not a disability. Feeling emotions is one of the main and most distinguishing features of human beings and if we decide to just shove all the agony down that nasty lane and move on, what even is the point of it all? After I gave a name to everything that I was missing, I handed over the power from the emotions to myself. I guided them, I controlled them. If I missed Mom, I called her. I devised new ways to connect to her. The same was the case with my ex-roommate. We figured out ways to have fun, not caring about how far we were. My ways do not have to be yours.


Being homesick doesn't have to be a weak thing. You could let it go into the space of rejection where you have no idea how to deal with it or you can take the leash from it, tame it, soothe it and make better memories for it. Home can be a safe place, not something that makes you sick.


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## Bard_Daniel (Jun 12, 2019)

Notsocordial, this piece is, yet again, stronger than the last. I really think you are refining your technique and style. A good, opening quote by Heraclitus then an investigation of the self. This was palatable, and I think you've touched on some key notions here. You provide examples from your own experience to link it to that of your reader, multiple ones. Your ending line: "Home can be a safe place, not something that makes you sick," is particularly striking and meaningful to the entirety of the piece.

Just my amateur 0.02c- write on!


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## notsocordial (Jun 13, 2019)

Bard_Daniel said:


> Notsocordial, this piece is, yet again, stronger than the last. I really think you are refining your technique and style. A good, opening quote by Heraclitus then an investigation of the self. This was palatable, and I think you've touched on some key notions here. You provide examples from your own experience to link it to that of your reader, multiple ones. Your ending line: "Home can be a safe place, not something that makes you sick," is particularly striking and meaningful to the entirety of the piece.
> 
> Just my amateur 0.02c- write on!




Thank you so much!  Means so much!


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## shyla (Sep 10, 2019)

Hi, notsocordial, this was a nice piece for me to read because it takes me 26 hours to reach home.  I really like your expression of a reality that many people experience. If I could give one suggestion, it would be to vary your sentence lengths. Make some sentences short, some long. When I read the entire piece in one go, it feels a little bit like short bursts of machine gun fire -- not all, but many of your sentences are short and about the same length. At least one sentence was incomplete ("until you cannot stand it anymore"). What if you were to remove five or ten periods from the entire piece and find ways to combine a few sentences for variation of length? Just an idea.


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## Olly Buckle (Sep 21, 2019)

> Like Heraclitus put it, "Change is the only constant thing in this world".



Very nearly a good strong opener, except for two points which might put people off. Firstly 'Like', many would say that should be 'As'; you are alleging it is what he said, not something similar to what he said, even though technically I suppose he didn't say it in English. Secondly 'Change' is not a 'Thing', 'things' yu can see and touch, and I am pretty sure Heraclitus would have said something more like 'Change is the only constant in the world'. These are the sort of things that are much less important than they used to be, there was a famous case of someone refusing to read a cigarette advert. because it sad it 'It tasted like a cigarette should' back in the 50's, but they will still jar with some.

Sticking an extra word in at the beginning to qualify what follows generally weakens it rather than strengthens it, even when it seems to make it more precise, consider,
Really, who even likes change unless it is leading to something better. 
versus
Who likes change unless it is leading to something better?
(that is a question and needs a question mark by the way)

or

Even then, a certain depressive episode follows when you are going away from a certain place or thing.
versus
A depressive episode follows when you are going away from a place or thing. 

You are a little inclined to circumlocution, taking the long way round to say something, "when you are going away from a certain place", 'Leaving' ? or, " unless it is leading to something better." ; try 'Unless it is an improvement' ?

I always look through to see if there is a more concise way of putting things, but that is really only a matter of style and may not suit you.

There are some good observations here and it made a good read despite the occasional hiccough, such as 'The oxygen seems too less.. ' rather than 'too little', thankyou.


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## Winston (Sep 28, 2019)

/\ (Olly always covers the salient points, leaving little to address).  

It did read a bit awkward, but your feelings came through strong.  
Sometimes a second or third proofread will reveal the rough edges and make you take notice and act.  I know I miss stuff after numerous revisions.  That's why we read each other's work.   
I'm a verbal writer myself, so I struggle with this.  

But overall, an engaging piece with universal appeal yet personal flavor.


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